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The Gazprom Song
June 9, 2009 7:36 PM   Subscribe

Gazprom is the greatest corporation in the world/All other companies are run by little girls. This is the most moving corporate anthem I've ever heard (and I include Devo's "Corporate Anthem" in that assessment.)
posted by Mayor Curley (45 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
That is... really something. Wow.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 7:52 PM on June 9, 2009


I'll drink to that!



/will drink to anything but a catchy song helps.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 7:52 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


how many other corporations have an anthem? This is ...quaint.
posted by seawallrunner at 8:03 PM on June 9, 2009


(Like the Russians need another excuse to drink?!)

WWII is finally over for the USSR. (The fascists won.)
posted by markkraft at 8:11 PM on June 9, 2009


I even have some high end Vodka sitting in the freezer ... but the real gem here is the DEVO anthem, which I had completely forgotten about. I remember a particular party tape (circa 1980) that kicked off with that, moved into Gut Feeling and then I forget the rest ... but there was definitely a Peter Gabriel song.
posted by philip-random at 8:13 PM on June 9, 2009


how many other corporations have an anthem?

at least one, previously mentioned
posted by ioesf at 8:21 PM on June 9, 2009


I don't know about corporations per se, but in Yugoslavia, a lot of big business had a sort of "work song" that proud workers would sing. The concept kind of faded after Tito died (and probably even before then), but every now and then you'd encounter a bunch of (usually) old factory guys out for drinks, singing their work song.

The Gazprom tune isn't that great and steals the melody from a couple of pop folk songs (although the lyrics are awesome.)

I'd still vote Devo.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 8:24 PM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Let's not overlook the comic choral contributions of the Academic Ensemble of Moscow Military District earlier this year as long as we're on the subject: "In this life I tell you humbly, we can solve any of your problems: Where a Gazprom valve is hidden so that we could cut the gas for everybody just in case." It must lose something in the Youtube translation, but the Russian audience apparently found it hilarious.

how many other corporations have an anthem?

A surprising number: Ernst & Young, Fujitsu, Honeywell, IBM (2), McKinsey, Price Waterhouse Cooper (2), etc., etc.
posted by Doktor Zed at 8:29 PM on June 9, 2009


Wow. Surprisingly catchy.

While we're on the topic of gas-related Russian music, check out this video of a military choir singing about cutting off the pipeline to Europe (with more background here from the Economist)
posted by frogpondian at 8:29 PM on June 9, 2009


how many other corporations have an anthem?

Hail To The IBM
posted by Opposite George at 8:30 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Your troubles recede where the Gazprom people are near by"

Hear that Ukraine? Hear that Bulgaria? Hungary and Western Europe? RECEDE, troubles RECEDE. So stop moaning, and start drinking, to Gazprom.
posted by mattoxic at 8:36 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Corporate Musicals, previously.
posted by shadow vector at 8:37 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]



how many other corporations have an anthem?


Well, there is this one...
posted by fingerbang at 8:58 PM on June 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Globex Corporation still has the best.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:01 PM on June 9, 2009


I prefer Nikon Break Kyogo's anthem. (I think this might be a cover).
posted by jb at 9:07 PM on June 9, 2009


Sorry, that should be Nihon Break Kogyo.
posted by jb at 9:11 PM on June 9, 2009


It's like Laibach, only real.
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:26 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


The first 30 seconds of the clip should have consisted of the singer shouting: "Эй, моя очередь наушники вверх".
posted by dr_dank at 9:26 PM on June 9, 2009


Is there a link to just the lyrics? Lousy corporate firewall blocks access to the youtubes.
posted by MarchHare at 9:36 PM on June 9, 2009


Put it in "H"!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:42 PM on June 9, 2009


It's like Laibach, only real.

Or maybe not. The line in the FPP is remarkably similar to Sacha Baron Cohen's invented lyrics to Kazakhstan's national anthem. Of course, it could be he drew the inspiration from Gazprom.

I can't get the Foreign Policy blog page to load where I am, so maybe it explains the origins furhter. My apologies if it turns out Cohen cribbed Gazprom.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:00 PM on June 9, 2009


Fun Fact: the "Devo Corporate Anthem" song and video are both references to the movie Rollerball.
posted by DecemberBoy at 10:04 PM on June 9, 2009


"Let's drink all the Russian gas"? That sounds dangerous...
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 10:20 PM on June 9, 2009


Here's the KPMG anthem from a while ago.
posted by Chorian at 10:31 PM on June 9, 2009


Fun Fact: the "Devo Corporate Anthem" song and video are both references to the movie Rollerball.

Do tell ?
posted by mattoxic at 10:32 PM on June 9, 2009


Fun Fact: the "Devo Corporate Anthem" is actually the Platonic Ideal Corporate Anthem, which all real real world corporate anthems try to approach.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:26 PM on June 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


real real real world, even.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:27 PM on June 9, 2009


Jagshemash! This company Gazprom has stolen from Borat. Throw them down the well!

"Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium."

-- Kazakhstan National Anthem (not!), by Sacha Baron Cohen a/k/a Borat
posted by anser at 11:50 PM on June 9, 2009


Or maybe not. The line in the FPP is remarkably similar to Sacha Baron Cohen's invented lyrics to Kazakhstan's national anthem. Of course, it could be he drew the inspiration from Gazprom.

The line in the FPP is not in the song.
posted by Authorized User at 12:08 AM on June 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


Well good. Guess I should have moved to an access point where I could actually open the page before commenting.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:34 AM on June 10, 2009


Wear gaudy colors or avoid display.
posted by readyfreddy at 1:43 AM on June 10, 2009


Is that an ICBM at 2:20?
posted by Kevin Street at 2:19 AM on June 10, 2009


Were you unaware that Gazprom is a nuclear power, Kevin?
posted by Meatbomb at 2:32 AM on June 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'll never forget when Gazprom invaded Circuit City, causing the latter to collapse completely.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:08 AM on June 10, 2009


how many other corporations have an anthem?

In the U.S. we call them jingles.
posted by nax at 3:58 AM on June 10, 2009


You'd think an energy company could light their lead singer a little better.
posted by xingcat at 5:23 AM on June 10, 2009


I wanted more grumpy-looking dudes with soviet-era medals... but overall an excellent video.
posted by LakesideOrion at 5:43 AM on June 10, 2009


Someday the theme song for Algorithmics will become public. On that day, that fated day where "heteroskedacity" is finally seen successfully integrated into freestyle rap, MetaFilter will know joy.
posted by effugas at 5:53 AM on June 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sigh.... Isn't drinking around flammable gas a bad idea?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:59 AM on June 10, 2009


Considering how absurdly powerful Gazprom is, things like this confirm my belief that the world actually ended on September 26, 1983, and we've been living in some surreal-Donnie-Darko tangent universe since.
posted by The Whelk at 6:49 AM on June 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


if GM had a badass anthem they'd probably still be afloat...

GM MOTHERFUCKER WE RUN DETROIT
BETTER BE 'EM MOTHERFUCKER OR YOULL BE UNEMPLOYED
CADILLACS AND HUMMERS ROLL THICK IN THESE STREETS
MAD JEEPS FOR DAYS, GTOS ARE SWEET
IF YR OLD WE GOT A OLDSMOBILE, HOLD FOR CUSTOMER SERVICE
WE WENT BUST ON PURPOSE TO REVITALIZE OUR SURFACE
FUCK CHRYSLER FUCK FORD AND FUCK ALL DEM FOREIGN PHONYS
SORRY FOR COLLABORATING WITH GERMANY IN THE 40S
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:16 AM on June 10, 2009 [22 favorites]


The contrast between Gazprom's ruthless, terrifying actions and its Barney the Dinosaur theme song is just priceless.

And, Potomac Avenue, that is awesome.
posted by ourobouros at 9:37 AM on June 10, 2009


Oh my god, this song is still in my head right fucking now. Ahhh! Make it stop!
posted by prefpara at 8:09 AM on June 11, 2009


Still stuck in my head. My anger grows.
posted by prefpara at 4:57 AM on June 12, 2009


Behold - "Symantec Revolutions". Symantec is in the house!!!


It will make you a little sick in your mouth. Be warned.
posted by unbearablylight at 7:58 AM on June 12, 2009


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