She Certainly Leaves an Impression

June 15, 2009 10:34 PM

Great Moments in Movie History. Scenes in a film taken out of context can be very funny. Though sometimes they were just funny anyway.

Highlights Involve:
Miscommunication,
Painful Loss (NSFW),
Astute Observation,
Dubious Strategy,
and Thrilling Combat.

posted by Alex404 (45 comments total)

My mouth literally dropped open watching the "Painful Loss" clip.
posted by mrnutty at 10:40 PM on June 15

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

I've avoided watching that movie and now what I've seen can't be unseen.
posted by GavinR at 10:41 PM on June 15

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Deep Breath....

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
posted by bpm140 at 10:46 PM on June 15

Oh come on, you guys are wimps!
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:50 PM on June 15

To be clear, I wasn't grossed out by the ... er ... chomping. I was grossed out by the acting and directing.
posted by mrnutty at 10:54 PM on June 15 [3 favorites has favorites]

"Pancakes" is probably the biggest WTF I ever had at the movies:

http://www.theoffline.com/shows/gmimh/12.php
posted by autodidact at 11:00 PM on June 15 [4 favorites has favorites]

(link spoilers)

This would be better if it was limited to scenes that are funnier, or more interesting, or whatever, because they were taken out of context. The "Miscommunication" link is a good example... that probably had some sort of context in the movie that distracted from the awesomeness of a guy in a bear suit sucker-punching someone.

The clip from Teeth ("Painful Loss") is no more or less shocking out of context, so this site doesn't really add any value by putting their little logo clip in front of it.
posted by Riki tiki at 11:04 PM on June 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

I don't think the scene from Teeth is really out of context. It is a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina.
posted by basicchannel at 11:04 PM on June 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

Painful Loss (NSFW)

Based on that one scene alone, that must be the crappiest movie ever made.
posted by cmonkey at 11:05 PM on June 15

My god, what a horrible website. I want to watch more of these but I don't think it's worth clicking and dragging sideways.

Yes yes yes I'm just being lazy while I'm being lazy and wasting time with these videos :).
posted by The Devil Tesla at 11:06 PM on June 15

My friends and I used to try to figure out what we called "The Banjo Moment" for any given film. The Banjo Moment is the exact second when you wish the screen would go black and the credits would start rolling to the tune of banjo music while everyone sits in stunned, confused silence. I think it started with a totally inexplicable scene in Signs, where everyone makes their tinfoil hats and then rolls around on the front lawn or something? That movie should have ended right there. With some banjo music.

This site is missing only the banjo music. Everything else is perfect.
posted by adiabat at 11:07 PM on June 15 [14 favorites has favorites]

I don't think the scene from Teeth is really out of context. It is a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina.

That's her sociopathic brother in law. She does that on purpose. It's actually the climax of the story where she becomes fully aware and empowered by her womanhood.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:16 PM on June 15

that must be the crappiest movie ever made.

It's akin to a Troma film, with a lot of black comedy. I liked it more than I thought I would.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:18 PM on June 15

The Banjo Moment

Me and my friends used to do that within the first five or ten minutes after the opening sequence. You can do that with good films and it's no less funny.

Bruce Willis gets shot at the beginning of Sixth Sense

*look at friend/roomate/SO blankly*

"Roll credits."

It would leave most movies as a WTF with laughter.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:24 PM on June 15

Gah, my fault. Step-brother.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:31 PM on June 15

P.o.B. That's her sociopathic brother in law. She does that on purpose. It's actually the climax of the story where she becomes fully aware and empowered by her womanhood.

Wait, what?! So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right!

The persons responsible for that film should be beaten severely. That was horrific- and pointlessly so. It's not empowering to simply find or elevate yourself into a position where you are capable of meeting or exceeding the wrongs or violence done to you: that's narcissistic infantile fantasy, the ability to become the destroyer/tormenter, but not actually break the cycle of violence. It's Dylan and Eric fantasizing. And you celebrate a scene like that as empowering?! Christ on a cracker- truth is, you're a sociopath, P.o.B. You aren't even capable of empathy or compassion or forgiveness, only of infantile responses of anger, rage, and retribution. Monster.

And cinematically, it looks like it's apparently no better than the crap that Lars von Trier recently spewed. Shock for shock's sake, with no message behind it.
posted by hincandenza at 12:39 AM on June 16

I'd avoided seeing any Uwe Boll content up until now [NSFW]. Makes Troma movies look like Bergman classics.
posted by benzenedream at 1:13 AM on June 16

Have you seen the movie hincandenza?
posted by P.o.B. at 1:37 AM on June 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

Oh yeah, I forgot to add something. No, you're a poopyhead.
posted by P.o.B. at 1:43 AM on June 16 [4 favorites has favorites]

hincandenza: "Christ on a cracker- truth is, you're a sociopath, P.o.B. You aren't even capable of empathy or compassion or forgiveness, only of infantile responses of anger, rage, and retribution. Monster."

Holy What-The-Fuck Jesus. This response is so totally insane I don't even know how to remark on it.

"So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right!"

You're trying to equate the use of force against a rapist with rape? Physically harming your rapist is a wrong now? Yeah, cutting it off and feeding it to a dog is excessive, but, seriously, the premise of the movie is that the woman has teeth in her vagina. Did you expect her to mace him?

And the whole sociopath thing, Christ. P.o.B. was just giving some context to the clip. Personal attacks are completely unnecessary.

You'd think someone fed your dick to a dog.
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 2:36 AM on June 16 [10 favorites has favorites]

Needs more Anaconda. The whole film is like a zillion 'moments' back to back

And I think I've seen Friday 13th VIII several times more than necessary... every time it turns up on late nite tv I'm thinking 'no it can't possibly be as bad as I remembered it'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:32 AM on June 16

Great Moments in Movie History!
posted by Midnight Rambler at 6:15 AM on June 16

Good heavens, hincandenza needs a hug.
posted by DWRoelands at 6:19 AM on June 16

Yes yes yes I'm just being lazy while I'm being lazy and wasting time with these videos

Yo dawg, I heard you like being lazy while being lazy, so I put a sideways scrollbar on your site so you can be lazier while you're being lazy.
posted by educatedslacker at 6:28 AM on June 16

"So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right!

The persons responsible for that film should be beaten severely."

lmao apparently three wrongs make a right
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:19 AM on June 16 [5 favorites has favorites]

Wait, what?! So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right!

Psst... It's a dark comedy, not a trauma workshop.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:37 AM on June 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Why slog through all two hours of Citizen Kane when you only need to see the Rosebud scene.

For that matter, why watch movies at all?
posted by blucevalo at 7:54 AM on June 16

. . . and this illustrates the point of why, I think, Teeth was a worthwhile movie. So many movies have a climactic scene where the protagonist kills / maims / etc the bad guy -- in fact, that's the expected final scene in pretty much any action movie. Are people filled with the same moral outrage when they watch Schwarzenegger quip his way through a bunch of deaths in Commando? Do they scream "MONSTER!" and wish for beatings for the filmmakers when they watch a film like Taken, where Liam Neeson kills the fuck out of a bunch of deserving baddies, with prejudice?

So why is what happens in Teeth supposedly so much worse? I can only assume it's because a woman is empowered to take action against oppression, and that this action is taken in a sexualized way. But anyone who screams bloody murder about this should, to avoid hypocrisy, condemn every movie in which the bad guy "gets theirs" at the end, not just this one.
posted by Frobenius Twist at 7:57 AM on June 16 [6 favorites has favorites]

*blinks*

....It's a movie about a woman with teeth in her vulva. I think anyone looking for great truths on the human condition is in the wrong room, here.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:08 AM on June 16

I have seen Teeth, and I declare it to be terrible. The movie has exactly one idea--I wonder if you can think of what it is? And it goes absolutely nowhere with it. It's not a moral outrage thing; it's just a lazy, stupid movie.
posted by Skot at 8:11 AM on June 16

I am with Skot on this one. I was in full anticipation of a good time with Teeth. It just had the one gimmick, then sort of trotted it out on a leash, over and over again, every so often, while the rest of the movie just happened around it. Stuff occurs, dialogue is heard, then a bell is rung: The Gimmick limps out onto the stage, whines piteously, then contorts its terrible, crippled body, vomits once, and shuffles back behind the curtain.

You know that scene in The Dark Backwards where Judd Nelson tells a horribly unfunny joke on stage, then slowly rotates, prominently displaying a third arm, after which he goes on to do a joke of similar worthlessness? That was Teeth all over. I may have busted a vein trying to like that flick. Honestly, the most interesting thing about that film was the psychological development of the step-brother.

Now, "Pancakes," that was awesome. Be sure to watch the extras on the Cabin Fever DVD, which include a music video of that kid doing martial arts to Electric Six's "Gay Bar."
posted by adipocere at 8:45 AM on June 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

I thought teeth was pretty good, but I grew up in the same 'we don't talk about sex so it won't happen and science is satan's whispers' background it was set in. It was supposed to be a critique of keeping women in sexual ignorance, and weird cultural taboos that mean that we sent a plaque off to the aliens where only the male figure has genitals. The premise of the movie holds up for an indie throw away. It's not great cinema, it's a monster/horror movie.
posted by Phalene at 8:51 AM on June 16

I've wanted to see Teeth for some time, and never got around to it. It looks like this scene might be all I have to see, actually. I'm at work now, though. Stupid, stupid work that gets all huffy about watching severed genitalia being fed to dogs. I mean, like, not even on my lunch break!
posted by Navelgazer at 9:02 AM on June 16

Overthinking a plateful of vagina dentata?

Anyway, Teeth was just sort of mediocre and unfocused. Its main problem was that the makers didn't really seem to know what they wanted to do with it beyond the core idea. Horrific twist on a Ginger Snaps-esque puberty metaphor? Satire on same? Cheerful bloody-minded dark comedy? Serious psychological body horror? It could have been any of those. Instead, it tried to be all of them and pretty much failed at all of them in a mediocre sort of way. I'm not sure anyone needs to be beaten because of it, though. Or if they do, there's a whole lot of filmmakers who should take precedence in the line.
posted by Drastic at 10:56 AM on June 16

Teeth was just sort of mediocre and unfocused.

But better than a film about a rutting runt.
posted by hal9k at 11:38 AM on June 16

Vagina dentata!
What a wonderful phrase!
Vagina dentata
ain't no passing craze--
It means no willy
for the rest of your days--
it's our penis-free
philosophy!
Vagina dentata!
posted by tzikeh at 11:54 AM on June 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Vagina dentata!
What a wonderful phrase!

Ahem.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:36 PM on June 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Let me interrupt this fascinating derail into vaginal dentata and remind everybody that excerpting only one scene from Wicker is nowhere near the full potential of that film.
posted by shadytrees at 2:41 PM on June 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

Aw, frig. GMIMH had all of those scenes. I should've checked, my bad.
posted by shadytrees at 2:52 PM on June 16

Let me interrupt this fascinating derail into vaginal dentata and remind everybody that excerpting only one scene from Wicker is nowhere near the full potential of that film .
posted by shadytrees at 2:41 PM on June 16 [1 favorite -] Favorite added! [!]

That movie has so much rewatchability. Much more fun than a VULVA* dentata movie.

*they were in her vagina but whatever dawg. :(
posted by basicchannel at 2:53 PM on June 16

"In essence, this section has been created as a means to archive the finest scenes from cinema's lengthy history. Sure, the Critereon Collection collects the finest films in their entirley..."

huh?
posted by hypersloth at 3:08 PM on June 16

I like this. But the "great moments in history" oration got old after the first time.

Also, I wonder if people's expectations for Teeth weren't a little overblown. What exactly were you expecting?
posted by theefixedstars at 3:32 PM on June 16

Speaking of The Wicker Man, Sady at Tiger Beatdown has a very enjoyable post, with even more Youtube clips, about same, here.

So, Neil LaBute used to be one of those all-too-common guys about whom people asked, "but is he really misogynist? Or is he, perhaps, commenting on misogyny by presenting us with it over and over and over, all the time?" Then he re-made The Wicker Man, and people were like, "oh, well, that answers my question, then!"
posted by emjaybee at 6:47 PM on June 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

...but, seriously, the premise of the movie is that the woman has teeth in her vagina.

At least it wasn't haunted.
posted by Evilspork at 8:00 AM on June 17

Meh, it's just a movie.
It really wasn't that hard to see the movie Teeth is layered and makes use of metaphors. It takes two minutes of googling to find that my little summation isn't off the mark.
Maybe you like this movie or maybe you make a drawn out analogy about how it's a lame animal and blah, blah, blah. I think it's kind of a weak argument to say it's one trick pony because, I mean, as opposed to what? I can give you ten huge blockbuster movies off the top of my head that are one trick ponies, but whatever. You don't need to like it. I personally don't like the movie Starship Troopers, but I've never denied it has practical (maybe even over the top) entertainment value.
But hey, if you don't like it, it's just a movie.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:38 AM on June 17