Comments on: She Certainly Leaves an Impression

She Certainly Leaves an Impression

Alex404 — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:34:28 -0800

Great Moments in Movie History. Scenes in a film taken out of context can be very funny. Though sometimes they were just funny anyway.

Highlights Involve: Miscommunication, Painful Loss (NSFW), Astute Observation, Dubious Strategy, and Thrilling Combat.

By: mrnutty

mrnutty — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:40:57 -0800

My mouth literally dropped open watching the "Painful Loss" clip.

By: GavinR

GavinR — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:41:26 -0800

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I've avoided watching that movie and now what I've seen can't be unseen.

By: bpm140

bpm140 — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:46:40 -0800

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG Deep Breath.... OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

By: Saxon Kane

Saxon Kane — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:50:26 -0800

Oh come on, you guys are wimps!

By: mrnutty

mrnutty — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:54:02 -0800

To be clear, I wasn't grossed out by the ... er ... chomping. I was grossed out by the acting and directing.

By: autodidact

autodidact — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:00:58 -0800

"Pancakes" is probably the biggest WTF I ever had at the movies: http://www.theoffline.com/shows/gmimh/12.php

By: Riki tiki

Riki tiki — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:04:03 -0800

(link spoilers) This would be better if it was limited to scenes that are funnier, or more interesting, or whatever, because they were taken out of context. The "Miscommunication" link is a good example... that probably had some sort of context in the movie that distracted from the awesomeness of a guy in a bear suit sucker-punching someone. The clip from Teeth ("Painful Loss") is no more or less shocking out of context, so this site doesn't really add any value by putting their little logo clip in front of it.

By: basicchannel

basicchannel — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:04:40 -0800

I don't think the scene from Teeth is really out of context. It is a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina.

By: cmonkey

cmonkey — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:05:17 -0800

Painful Loss (NSFW) Based on that one scene alone, that must be the crappiest movie ever made.

By: The Devil Tesla

The Devil Tesla — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:06:46 -0800

My god, what a horrible website. I want to watch more of these but I don't think it's worth clicking and dragging sideways. Yes yes yes I'm just being lazy while I'm being lazy and wasting time with these videos :).

By: adiabat

adiabat — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:07:45 -0800

My friends and I used to try to figure out what we called "The Banjo Moment" for any given film. The Banjo Moment is the exact second when you wish the screen would go black and the credits would start rolling to the tune of banjo music while everyone sits in stunned, confused silence. I think it started with a totally inexplicable scene in Signs, where everyone makes their tinfoil hats and then rolls around on the front lawn or something? That movie should have ended right there. With some banjo music. This site is missing only the banjo music. Everything else is perfect.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:16:50 -0800

I don't think the scene from Teeth is really out of context. It is a movie about a girl with teeth in her vagina. That's her sociopathic brother in law. She does that on purpose. It's actually the climax of the story where she becomes fully aware and empowered by her womanhood.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:18:46 -0800

that must be the crappiest movie ever made. It's akin to a Troma film, with a lot of black comedy. I liked it more than I thought I would.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:24:20 -0800

The Banjo Moment Me and my friends used to do that within the first five or ten minutes after the opening sequence. You can do that with good films and it's no less funny. Bruce Willis gets shot at the beginning of Sixth Sense *look at friend/roomate/SO blankly* "Roll credits." It would leave most movies as a WTF with laughter.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 23:31:04 -0800

Gah, my fault. Step-brother.

By: hincandenza

hincandenza — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 00:39:34 -0800

P.o.B. That's her sociopathic brother in law. She does that on purpose. It's actually the climax of the story where she becomes fully aware and empowered by her womanhood.

Wait, what?! So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right! The persons responsible for that film should be beaten severely. That was horrific- and pointlessly so. It's not empowering to simply find or elevate yourself into a position where you are capable of meeting or exceeding the wrongs or violence done to you: that's narcissistic infantile fantasy, the ability to become the destroyer/tormenter, but not actually break the cycle of violence. It's Dylan and Eric fantasizing. And you celebrate a scene like that as empowering?! Christ on a cracker- truth is, you're a sociopath, P.o.B. You aren't even capable of empathy or compassion or forgiveness, only of infantile responses of anger, rage, and retribution. Monster. And cinematically, it looks like it's apparently no better than the crap that Lars von Trier recently spewed. Shock for shock's sake, with no message behind it.

By: benzenedream

benzenedream — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:13:36 -0800

I'd avoided seeing any Uwe Boll content up until now [NSFW]. Makes Troma movies look like Bergman classics.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:37:44 -0800

Have you seen the movie hincandenza?

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:43:36 -0800

Oh yeah, I forgot to add something. No, you're a poopyhead.

By: Captain Cardanthian!

Captain Cardanthian! — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:36:50 -0800

hincandenza: "Christ on a cracker- truth is, you're a sociopath, P.o.B. You aren't even capable of empathy or compassion or forgiveness, only of infantile responses of anger, rage, and retribution. Monster." Holy What-The-Fuck Jesus. This response is so totally insane I don't even know how to remark on it. "So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right!" You're trying to equate the use of force against a rapist with rape? Physically harming your rapist is a wrong now? Yeah, cutting it off and feeding it to a dog is excessive, but, seriously, the premise of the movie is that the woman has teeth in her vagina. Did you expect her to mace him? And the whole sociopath thing, Christ. P.o.B. was just giving some context to the clip. Personal attacks are completely unnecessary. You'd think someone fed your dick to a dog.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:32:35 -0800

Needs more Anaconda. The whole film is like a zillion 'moments' back to back And I think I've seen Friday 13th VIII several times more than necessary... every time it turns up on late nite tv I'm thinking 'no it can't possibly be as bad as I remembered it'

By: Midnight Rambler

Midnight Rambler — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:15:55 -0800

Great Moments in Movie History!

By: DWRoelands

DWRoelands — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:19:31 -0800

Good heavens, hincandenza needs a hug.

By: educatedslacker

educatedslacker — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 06:28:19 -0800

Yes yes yes I'm just being lazy while I'm being lazy and wasting time with these videos Yo dawg, I heard you like being lazy while being lazy, so I put a sideways scrollbar on your site so you can be lazier while you're being lazy.

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:19:48 -0800

"So it's "empowering" to literally cut off a man's penis and force him to watch a dog eat it? Hm, you have a point: logically, it's also empowering for a man to embrace his manhood by raping a woman! Because two wrongs DO make a right! The persons responsible for that film should be beaten severely." lmao apparently three wrongs make a right

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:37:06 -0800

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:54:42 -0800

Why slog through all two hours of Citizen Kane when you only need to see the Rosebud scene. For that matter, why watch movies at all?

By: Frobenius Twist

Frobenius Twist — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:57:40 -0800

. . . and this illustrates the point of why, I think, Teeth was a worthwhile movie. So many movies have a climactic scene where the protagonist kills / maims / etc the bad guy -- in fact, that's the expected final scene in pretty much any action movie. Are people filled with the same moral outrage when they watch Schwarzenegger quip his way through a bunch of deaths in Commando? Do they scream "MONSTER!" and wish for beatings for the filmmakers when they watch a film like Taken, where Liam Neeson kills the fuck out of a bunch of deserving baddies, with prejudice? So why is what happens in Teeth supposedly so much worse? I can only assume it's because a woman is empowered to take action against oppression, and that this action is taken in a sexualized way. But anyone who screams bloody murder about this should, to avoid hypocrisy, condemn every movie in which the bad guy "gets theirs" at the end, not just this one.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:08:13 -0800

*blinks* ....It's a movie about a woman with teeth in her vulva. I think anyone looking for great truths on the human condition is in the wrong room, here.

By: Skot

Skot — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:11:16 -0800

I have seen Teeth, and I declare it to be terrible. The movie has exactly one idea--I wonder if you can think of what it is? And it goes absolutely nowhere with it. It's not a moral outrage thing; it's just a lazy, stupid movie.

By: adipocere

adipocere — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:45:03 -0800

I am with Skot on this one. I was in full anticipation of a good time with Teeth. It just had the one gimmick, then sort of trotted it out on a leash, over and over again, every so often, while the rest of the movie just happened around it. Stuff occurs, dialogue is heard, then a bell is rung: The Gimmick limps out onto the stage, whines piteously, then contorts its terrible, crippled body, vomits once, and shuffles back behind the curtain. You know that scene in The Dark Backwards where Judd Nelson tells a horribly unfunny joke on stage, then slowly rotates, prominently displaying a third arm, after which he goes on to do a joke of similar worthlessness? That was Teeth all over. I may have busted a vein trying to like that flick. Honestly, the most interesting thing about that film was the psychological development of the step-brother. Now, "Pancakes," that was awesome. Be sure to watch the extras on the Cabin Fever DVD, which include a music video of that kid doing martial arts to Electric Six's "Gay Bar."

By: Phalene

Phalene — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:51:20 -0800

I thought teeth was pretty good, but I grew up in the same 'we don't talk about sex so it won't happen and science is satan's whispers' background it was set in. It was supposed to be a critique of keeping women in sexual ignorance, and weird cultural taboos that mean that we sent a plaque off to the aliens where only the male figure has genitals. The premise of the movie holds up for an indie throw away. It's not great cinema, it's a monster/horror movie.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 09:02:50 -0800

I've wanted to see Teeth for some time, and never got around to it. It looks like this scene might be all I have to see, actually. I'm at work now, though. Stupid, stupid work that gets all huffy about watching severed genitalia being fed to dogs. I mean, like, not even on my lunch break!

By: Drastic

Drastic — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:56:59 -0800

Overthinking a plateful of vagina dentata? Anyway, Teeth was just sort of mediocre and unfocused. Its main problem was that the makers didn't really seem to know what they wanted to do with it beyond the core idea. Horrific twist on a Ginger Snaps-esque puberty metaphor? Satire on same? Cheerful bloody-minded dark comedy? Serious psychological body horror? It could have been any of those. Instead, it tried to be all of them and pretty much failed at all of them in a mediocre sort of way. I'm not sure anyone needs to be beaten because of it, though. Or if they do, there's a whole lot of filmmakers who should take precedence in the line.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:38:21 -0800

Teeth was just sort of mediocre and unfocused. But better than a film about a rutting runt.

By: tzikeh

tzikeh — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 11:54:41 -0800

Vagina dentata! What a wonderful phrase! Vagina dentata ain't no passing craze-- It means no willy for the rest of your days-- it's our penis-free philosophy! Vagina dentata!

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:36:16 -0800

Vagina dentata! What a wonderful phrase! Ahem.

By: shadytrees

shadytrees — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:41:10 -0800

Let me interrupt this fascinating derail into vaginal dentata and remind everybody that excerpting only one scene from Wicker is nowhere near the full potential of that film.

By: shadytrees

shadytrees — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:52:23 -0800

Aw, frig. GMIMH had all of those scenes. I should've checked, my bad.

By: basicchannel

basicchannel — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:53:39 -0800

Let me interrupt this fascinating derail into vaginal dentata and remind everybody that excerpting only one scene from Wicker is nowhere near the full potential of that film . posted by shadytrees at 2:41 PM on June 16 [1 favorite -] Favorite added! [!] That movie has so much rewatchability. Much more fun than a VULVA* dentata movie. *they were in her vagina but whatever dawg. :(

By: hypersloth

hypersloth — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:08:44 -0800

"In essence, this section has been created as a means to archive the finest scenes from cinema's lengthy history. Sure, the Critereon Collection collects the finest films in their entirley..." huh?

By: theefixedstars

theefixedstars — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:32:55 -0800

I like this. But the "great moments in history" oration got old after the first time. Also, I wonder if people's expectations for Teeth weren't a little overblown. What exactly were you expecting?

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:47:37 -0800

Speaking of The Wicker Man, Sady at Tiger Beatdown has a very enjoyable post, with even more Youtube clips, about same, here. So, Neil LaBute used to be one of those all-too-common guys about whom people asked, "but is he really misogynist? Or is he, perhaps, commenting on misogyny by presenting us with it over and over and over, all the time?" Then he re-made The Wicker Man, and people were like, "oh, well, that answers my question, then!"

By: Evilspork

Evilspork — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 08:00:13 -0800

...but, seriously, the premise of the movie is that the woman has teeth in her vagina. At least it wasn't haunted.

By: P.o.B.

P.o.B. — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 11:38:35 -0800

Meh, it's just a movie. It really wasn't that hard to see the movie Teeth is layered and makes use of metaphors. It takes two minutes of googling to find that my little summation isn't off the mark. Maybe you like this movie or maybe you make a drawn out analogy about how it's a lame animal and blah, blah, blah. I think it's kind of a weak argument to say it's one trick pony because, I mean, as opposed to what? I can give you ten huge blockbuster movies off the top of my head that are one trick ponies, but whatever. You don't need to like it. I personally don't like the movie Starship Troopers, but I've never denied it has practical (maybe even over the top) entertainment value. But hey, if you don't like it, it's just a movie.