Packing heat and boat shoes

June 16, 2009 12:10 PM

Arlington: The Rap (SLYT)
posted by Wet Spot (54 comments total)

YO YO YO IT'S AVERAGE HOMEBOY 2K9 ALL UP IN THIS aww fuck it.
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:16 PM on June 16, 2009

He's got Arlington pegged, that's sure. Pretty damn funny.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 12:17 PM on June 16, 2009

Can someone snark for me on this?
posted by ob at 12:18 PM on June 16, 2009

Sorry, I blew all my snark on the local blogs.

(Whoa, that sounded really dirty.)
posted by JoanArkham at 12:19 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sorry, I blew all my snark on the local blogs.

I wonder what would have been the earliest year when this would have been a comprehensible English sentence? Prior to this century this would have been pure Lewis Carroll. Or impure Lewis Carroll, I guess, depending on when that meaning of "blew" first appeared.
posted by yoink at 12:24 PM on June 16, 2009 [9 favorites]

Cute!
posted by brain_drain at 12:24 PM on June 16, 2009

The last 30 seconds definitely make this go from ok to glorious.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:32 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

Also MD4Lyfe That's What's Up.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:35 PM on June 16, 2009

That was hilarious.
posted by moxiedoll at 12:44 PM on June 16, 2009

This is actually pretty amusing.

WEST FALLS CHURCH REPRESENT
posted by phrontist at 12:49 PM on June 16, 2009

Damn - Does this now mean I need some kind of "rap" that "represents" for my home-town.
01422 - Calderdale Crew
posted by seanyboy at 12:50 PM on June 16, 2009

Wow. Fail. Hard.

So tired of the SLYT.
posted by TomMelee at 12:53 PM on June 16, 2009

I think the green line reference makes it clear this guy gets the in-jokes.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 12:53 PM on June 16, 2009

and we'll grab a cup of coffee

at the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the starbucks or the
posted by tehloki at 12:54 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

Funny distraction for the day thanks for posting.
posted by vito90 at 12:55 PM on June 16, 2009

Fortunately, someone is already representing my town.
posted by box at 1:12 PM on June 16, 2009

Fortunately, someone is already representing my town.

As a DC resident, this is about as much representation as I can expect.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:21 PM on June 16, 2009 [6 favorites]

Makes me almost miss living in DC. Almost. Great video.
posted by educatedslacker at 1:25 PM on June 16, 2009

Awesome.
He's of Middle Eastern Arab descent, and isn't afraid to let you know that and laugh at that too.
To wit:
Lyrics to A-R-A-B: The Rap, and his alter ego, Habib.
His one-night-only showcase at the Improv in Damascus in 1989 is widely regarded by both Arab comedy critics as one of the best performances ever.
posted by yiftach at 1:42 PM on June 16, 2009

My boyfriend sent this to me, as as sort of forward-from-other-friends kind of thing. It had been all over my Facebook feed for days. He asked if I watched it. I said no because I doubted I'd think it was funny.

So he had me watch it. And indeed, I didn't find it funny.

It's not unfunny, exactly, but it's all the jokes we all make about Arlington (and anyway, this just seems to be about the Clarendon-Courthouse-Rosslyn area of Arlington, which isn't the entire county). Yes, it's well-done -- the production values and editing are great -- but the content is much too obvious. Yes, there are a lot of Starbucks here. I get it.
posted by darksong at 2:11 PM on June 16, 2009

God help me, I know where most of those Starbucks are.

As a DC-lifer and perennial mayoral candidate, I've long advocated for the violent return of our missing 32 sq miles. And while this does little to counter that important plank of my platform, I think I have a cabinet opening for Remy. Sure, take umbrage with the city and it's homogenized sprawl (God knows the collar-popped set needs a nice address where the family lawyers send the trust fund checks) but don't be dismissive toward this satirical critique. Hate the game, not the player.

(1-9 crew, represent. northWEST sai-eed!)
posted by now i'm piste at 2:20 PM on June 16, 2009

No, you don't get it.

Give me a second to adjust my tie so I can LAUGH at you.
posted by dirty lies at 2:21 PM on June 16, 2009

Wow. I'm from Arlington but haven't lived there in many years. All the places this video is shot are new in the last 15 or so years. When I was a kid those places were more modest mom-and-pop stores, some crumminess, used car lot, etc; not that those areas were really rough but they were just normal. It's weird to see it turn into a kind of theme park of an upscale suburb.
posted by LobsterMitten at 2:35 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

LobsterMitten, you wouldn't recognize the place. While the Pottery Barn did not literally take the place of Bardo's, it certainly did figuratively. Seven Corners/Baily's Crossroads still has a lot of character (and perhaps the best international restaurants in the area), but the Clarendon-Courthouse-Rosslyn area is just a giant upscale stripmall now.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:42 PM on June 16, 2009

Wow. Fail. Hard.

So tired of the SLYT.

0 Posts, 79 Comments.
posted by emelenjr at 2:44 PM on June 16, 2009 [4 favorites]

Wow. Win. Hard.

So refreshed by this SLYT.
posted by hypersloth at 2:48 PM on June 16, 2009 [4 favorites]

I think the genre is done to death. This was clever, but not clever enough to get me past "another ironic rap about the suburbs?"

I live in Arlington as well (except it's the one in Massachusetts) and I sometimes refer to my white, suburban neighborhood like it was tough. As in "Where do you live?" and I might reply "Tha Heightz, motherfucker." However, I'm not going to make a short film about my ironic musings.

If you need me to further expand on this, I will be in the Panera Bread parking lot in my Volvo trying to look like I might be selling weed.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:52 PM on June 16, 2009 [2 favorites]

"0 Posts, 79 Comments."

ha!
posted by HuronBob at 3:20 PM on June 16, 2009

Man, i was going to post that but i thought it was too local.
posted by empath at 3:24 PM on June 16, 2009

btw, there actually are gangs in Arlingon (MS-13 for one).

Some of the neighborhoods are not that great.
posted by empath at 3:29 PM on June 16, 2009

When I was a kid those places were more modest mom-and-pop stores, some crumminess, used car lot, etc; not that those areas were really rough but they were just normal.

This was still mostly true just eight years ago... It has definitely changed a lot out there.

btw, there actually are gangs in Arlingon (MS-13 for one).

Though they're much more Alexandria, no?
posted by inigo2 at 3:45 PM on June 16, 2009

You don't have to be an Arlington homie to appreciate that.
posted by Xoebe at 4:01 PM on June 16, 2009

Arlington lost its last shred of virtue it had when Whitey's closed. It was the sole island of humanity in an ocean of PotteryBarnStarbucksChainRestaurantFilth. If you never went there, you may as well have been at Starbucks all the time.
posted by el_lupino at 4:39 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

how'd we ever get so chic?/ who's your favorite Kennedy?/ what's the flavor of the week?/ I live next to Fugazi... Local boys Emmet Swimming's mid-90s tongue-in-cheek paen to the place from before it was overrun by chain stores.
posted by jocelmeow at 5:06 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

That Green Line bit was *totally* awesome. red line represent!
posted by ersatzkat at 5:13 PM on June 16, 2009

I laughed so hard at this that tears ran down my face, but I was a little disappointed not to see any of my turf along Columbia Pike displayed. Southside represent for reallllll...
posted by smoothvirus at 6:03 PM on June 16, 2009

Arlington lost its last shred of virtue it had when Whitey's closed.

Big loss, I agree, but there's still Jay's Saloon, at least. Where else can you go for astroturf on the patio, and a dj that still uses a tape deck?
posted by inigo2 at 6:38 PM on June 16, 2009

No, no, no, no, no.

Arlington is not just the Metro corridor, and yuppies being semi-self-awarely faux-street is seriously played out. This has been all over my Facebook feed since, I dunno, Friday or so and I am tired of explaining the hows and whys of my hatred for it.
posted by naoko at 7:49 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

The question is, is Public Shoe still there?
(searches)

YES! I think!
the man himself, though when I was a kid he didn't have a beard; the address; a blog appreciation from last year
Wow, I haven't thought about that in a long time. There used to be a kids' bookstore next door too, with a place where you could sit in the window in some kind of hideout and watch people on the street. I think. Wilson Blvd Old School.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:03 PM on June 16, 2009

Washington Post article on that area including a bit on Public Shoe, via the blog post I linked. Quote from the Post article Dec 13 2007:

Next door to the planned CVS is the Public Shoe Store, which has been selling shoes "for hurting feet" at that location since 1938.

Podiatrist and owner Dr. Sonny Friedman, 73, said he took over the store many years ago from his father, who had run it for 35 years. He said none of his children is interested in running it, so the store will close when his health no longer allows him to work.

Friedman owns the building, so he doesn't have to worry about rising rents.

"Retail is hard around here now," said Friedman, who describes the best time for the area as the late 1930s, when his father bought the building -- long before malls and outlets were built at Tysons Corner, Baileys Crossroads and elsewhere in Northern Virginia.

"People come here to enjoy the food and the entertainment," Friedman said. "But they do their shopping at the malls or online."

posted by LobsterMitten at 8:10 PM on June 16, 2009

Interior of Public Shoe on flickr!
the exterior (wider exterior)
the inlaid entryway (a side view of the entryway)
the sign and a bit of history
free meter money

All of those have other photos in Clarendon and the whole area where the video is shot, showing some of the older stuff that's still there.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:30 PM on June 16, 2009

I was a little disappointed not to see any of my turf along Columbia Pike displayed.

I lived there from 97-01, and I was thinking the same thing-- no Bob & Edith's? You don't really live in Arlington.
posted by InfidelZombie at 11:04 PM on June 16, 2009 [1 favorite]

Mmm, Bob and Edith's. I used to live way down Columbia Pike (behind Bad Habits, old-timers!). I bet Remy doesn't have to use The Club to lock up his car.
posted by candyland at 4:45 AM on June 17, 2009

I think I got over any desire to spend time or money in Arlington when I went to Orpheus Records one time and all along that little boulevard park at the Clarendon Metro the benches had these weird mess kit type plastic food trays sitting on them apparently for homeless people to have clean, easy to maintain surfaces and utensils for eating. Knowing there were a lot of homeless people around there, I thought, "how cool of the city." So I stopped and picked one up to look at it. On the back a flyer was taped that stated that this was the final warning to the homeless in the park that the city's new anti-vagrancy law would be going into effect the next day and they would need to pack up and leave or face jail time.

Classy.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:14 AM on June 17, 2009

Reminds me of Lazy Muncie, which is worth watching just for the Jim Davis cameo.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:42 AM on June 17, 2009

As a DC-lifer and perennial mayoral candidate, I've long advocated for the violent return of our missing 32 sq miles.

I'd volunteer to be a behind-enemy-lines warrior for the cause in Crystal City but that would be kind of stupid to post publicly, wouldn't it? So, um, step off, insurgent scum! Virginia4Life!

call me
posted by phearlez at 12:24 PM on June 17, 2009

Obligatory town rap video. It's Carrboro.
posted by greta simone at 2:14 PM on June 17, 2009

Yeah, I don't think Remy has been in his new hood long enough to have taken the bus down the Columbia Pike.
posted by 3.2.3 at 3:22 PM on June 17, 2009

I lived there from 97-01, and I was thinking the same thing-- no Bob & Edith's? You don't really live in Arlington.

Plus where else can you buy your MD 20/20? You ain't finding Mad Dog in Ballston or Clarendon, that's for sure.

/another former Columbia Pike resident.
posted by inigo2 at 4:32 PM on June 17, 2009

/another former Columbia Pike resident.
...and Ballston, and Courthouse.

I was young and stupid. DC4Life!
posted by inigo2 at 4:33 PM on June 17, 2009

I just emailed this to my mom because she was admonishing me to be careful and not walk around by myself at night. From now on I'm emailing this to my mom every time she admonishes me to be careful.
posted by little e at 6:21 AM on June 18, 2009

At least until my lease is up next year then I can move into DC and really give her something to worry about.
posted by little e at 6:23 AM on June 18, 2009

And my mom replies that I still need to be careful, but it does look very safe.
posted by little e at 8:54 AM on June 18, 2009

I'd volunteer to be a behind-enemy-lines warrior for the cause in Crystal City but that would be kind of stupid to post publicly, wouldn't it? So, um, step off, insurgent scum! Virginia4Life!

call me
Let's meet at the Starbucks.
posted by now i'm piste at 12:03 PM on June 18, 2009