Comments on: Grab this grasshopper out of my hand

Grab this grasshopper out of my hand

twoleftfeet — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:44:37 -0800

Obama's ninja-like fly swat has been objected to, rejected, genuflected, relatively neglected and hopefully disinfected.

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:55:09 -0800

Obama has the cheat codes.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:57:20 -0800

so he is beelzebub, after all

By: IvoShandor

IvoShandor — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:57:42 -0800

I, for one, injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected not to kill the fly, but to instead welcome our fly overlords.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:58:28 -0800

Now if we can only get our civil rights back.

By: EatTheWeak

EatTheWeak — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:00:49 -0800

That video is crazy awesome. Who could object to such precision fly-slaughter? Oh, right ... the outspoken animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said they wished Obama had served a better example. “We support compassion for the even the smallest animals," says Bruce Friedrich, VP for Policy at PETA. “We support giving insects the benefit of the doubt." For fuck's sake, PETA, sit down and shut the hell up. All your self-important preaching only makes me wanna go out club baby seals so at least you'll have a real issue to grandstand about.

By: The Tensor

The Tensor — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:03:04 -0800

For fuck's sake, PETA, sit down and shut the hell up. All your self-important preaching only makes me wanna go out club baby seals so at least you'll have a real issue to grandstand about. posted by EatTheWeak at 12:00 AM on June 18 [+] [!] Eponysterical.

By: jabberjaw

jabberjaw — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:07:47 -0800

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. Cyborgs, at least. Domo arigato, Mr. Presidento.

By: serazin

serazin — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:16:57 -0800

PETA never ceases to surpass their own idiocy. Barely related: Obama's Plan for Gay Rights.

By: Dr Dracator

Dr Dracator — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:19:15 -0800

Pretty good, but I'll be impressed when he starts using chopsticks

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:22:14 -0800

By the way, the title of this post is an homage to David Carradine, whom I'll always remember for Kung Fu (and not that other thing).

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:22:23 -0800

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. Hmmm.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:24:31 -0800

Pretty fly.

By: Item

Item — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:27:43 -0800

For a half-white guy.

By: Severian

Severian — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:33:17 -0800

I second the motion to tell PETA to give it a rest about the flies thing. There's too damned many of them, they will be here long after we are gone, and you can't prove that they have nerve endings anyway. That being said, I'm only mildly impressed by Obama's fly-swatting abilities. As I prefer either the lazy efficiency of fly-paper (disregard the ick factor), or the over-kill-ness of a can of hairspray and a lighter.

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:33:28 -0800

I'd really like to know whether, when one of these PETA people gets a tapeworm or something, do they just leave it be out of compassion? It becomes a pet you're really, really close to, who essentially eats off your plate? Do they refrain from laundering their bedclothes out of compassion for the dust mites?

By: wildcrdj

wildcrdj — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:39:23 -0800

Do they refrain from laundering their bedclothes out of compassion for the dust mites? Jainists might. They try to avoid killing bugs to a fairly extreme degree.

By: EatTheWeak

EatTheWeak — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:39:38 -0800

Severian - I was thirty years old before I realized the ultimate in bug killing was the wand attachment on my vacuum cleaner. Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust?

By: scrowdid

scrowdid — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:40:06 -0800

I catch flies in a cup covered with cardboard and let them outside. I haven't killed a fly in years. I just don't see the need to kill them when they're so easily relocated.

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:47:15 -0800

Not killing bugs that you could easily kill is a good way to teach your children about compassion for weaker things. Which is why I capture flies in a cup and let them outside when my kids are around, and hang the fly traps out of their sight.

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:47:31 -0800

I just don't see the need to kill them when they're so easily relocated. It's not about need. It's about satisfaction.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:51:27 -0800

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. Hmmm.

By: fshgrl

fshgrl — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:52:47 -0800

I killed at least 200 mosquitoes today and I'm only sorry it wasn't more. PETA can come out here and give them the benefit of the doubt if they like though.

By: serazin

serazin — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:53:50 -0800

carsonb - what the fuck was that?!

By: frobozz

frobozz — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:53:55 -0800

Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust? They can survive and reproduce in there. At least the ickier ones. I'd rather not have to contemplate what's colonizing the inside of my vacuum when I'm looking at it

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:54:07 -0800

and with one smack on youtube obama becomes the new chuck norris.

By: sexyrobot

sexyrobot — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:55:45 -0800

on a related note, did you know that every time President Obama turns his head it's to look into the future and see a better tomorrow?

By: EatTheWeak

EatTheWeak — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:57:10 -0800

frobozz - Yikes. I guess I'll find out if I've been vacuuming down insects such as those next time I dump the dust cylinder. That should be fun.

By: Item

Item — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:59:38 -0800

Just dump it into a river of lava and you should be okay.

By: Iosephus

Iosephus — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:08:30 -0800

Ok, that read like a freaky cross of Clive Barker ghostwriting for Dan Brown, with some blushingly implied homoeroticism and presidential slash, and enough insanity to make even Grant Morrison seem pedestrian. carsonb just broke my brain.

By: breezeway

breezeway — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:23:14 -0800

The only reason I'm awake is a mosquito up in here fat with my blood, I could use a visit from President Obama right about now.

By: Item

Item — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:23:46 -0800

carsonb - what the fuck was that?! Proof that there's people on the internet even crazier than you.

By: le morte de bea arthur

le morte de bea arthur — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:26:59 -0800

I once jokingly swung a big kitchen knife at a fly. The abdomen fell to the floor while the head and thorax (with wings attached) carried on buzzing round. It was actually a bit repulsive.

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:37:56 -0800

I totally fail to be impressed by this. He didn't eat the fly, did he? He didn't flick out his reptilian tongue and *swurp* *blink* go back to the interview, did he? He didn't catch the fly and then throw the dead fly on the interviewer and say "here, lunch's on me", did he? Could have been so much more boss.

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:38:58 -0800

and what was so weird about the story carsonb linked to? ... what?

By: low_horrible_immoral

low_horrible_immoral — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:40:43 -0800

Little Fly, Thy summer's play My thoughtless hand Has brushed away. Am not I A fly like thee? Or art not thou A man like me? For I dance And drink, and sing, Till some blind hand Shall brush my wing. If thought is life And strength and breath And the want Of thought is death; Then am I A happy fly, If I live, Or if I die. (W.Blake)

By: geos

geos — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 01:44:08 -0800

help me.... help me....

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:11:37 -0800

Man swats fly! Film ~~at 11~~ on YouTube.

By: bardic

bardic — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:11:45 -0800

Brother's on a roll.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:20:37 -0800

Poem: But I, a man, must swat you with my hate, Slap you across the air and crush your flight, Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood, Expose your little guts pasty and white, Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard’s hat, Pin your wings under like a crow’s, Tear off your flimsy clothes And beat you as one beats a rat.

By: palidor

palidor — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:20:52 -0800

I've spent the last few weeks catching flies that somehow sneak into my room and releasing them outside, so Obama quickly dispatching that fly should anger me, but I guess I'm not PETA enough. I did after all initiate a fly genocide last summer after fruit flies started breeding in the kitchen. I gave them a week or two to die off on their own, but they didn't take the hint. I mean, my general philosophy is that I shouldn't kill something unless I'm going to eat or make use of it somehow, and killing because something is annoying seems like a pretty weak reason, but sometimes it's hard to avoid if you want to uphold something resembling the socially accepted definition of cleanliness. Although every summer there seems to be a spider web between my car's passenger side mirror and the door, and I don't do anything to get rid of it because I feel like a badass with my little spider buddy 8o]

By: bwg

bwg — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:29:49 -0800

Can't say the fly wasn't warned. Piss off the Prez, you get dead.

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:33:41 -0800

The problem with swatting houseflies (as opposed to biting flies, strangely) is that they've got all these gooey innards that get all over your hand. Just imagine if it had been a mouse. >: Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. Be certain Bush practiced for hours and hours with the Secret Service avoiding hurled objects.

By: therubettes

therubettes — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:38:17 -0800

He was just enforcing the no-fly zone around the president.

By: Nothing

Nothing — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:09:41 -0800

Here is the thing: flies have no respect for the fact that I am a million times bigger and find them annoying. A mouse will run and hide. Even a cockroach will scurry under the fridge. But flies think they get a free pass. As I am typing right now, a fly landed on my left hand. That is not acceptable. There are so many where I live that you can see them completely coating the power lines. They move in clouds thick enough that you can use your hand to wave them away from your face and hit several flies in midair with a single slow swipe. If you let a drop of coke fall to the ground (I did this as an experiment) the spot will be covered with 10 to 20 flies, climbing over each other to get to the coke, in less than a minute. Plus they can carry cholera and hepatitis e. Outside, I concede. They both outnumber and (collectively) outweigh me. But in the house I am merciless. I probably kill between two and three hundred a day. Go Mr. President.

By: LeeJay

LeeJay — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:18:58 -0800

Goddamn. I'm just getting used to the ten-foot rabbit. Now I have to make room for the black man and his partner? I'll not move. We're in for it.

By: TheTorns

TheTorns — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:30:33 -0800

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. HMMM?

By: explosion

explosion — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:34:06 -0800

The problem with PETA's response to this is that the President did treat the fly ethically. He didn't grab it, hold it down against its will, and tear off its wings like a sadistic little boy. No, one clean swat, and it was dead before it knew it. PETA's arguments never hold any water in my view, because they routinely forget that humans are animals too. If you're campaigning for non-human animal rights at the expense of humans, you're doing it wrong.

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:42:24 -0800

Goddamn. I'm just getting used to the ten-foot rabbit. Now I have to make room for the black man and his partner? I'll not move. We're in for it. Holy crap, where do get my hands on some of that.

By: TheTorns

TheTorns — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:48:32 -0800

I just discovered the swearing in that video I linked to has been beeped out by Adult Swim. This offends me deeply, so here's the uncensored version on Youtube.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:02:18 -0800

Never swat a fly, He may love another fly, He may sit with her and sigh The way I do with you. Never a harm a flea, He may have a favorite she That he bounces on his knee The way I do with you! Never stop a bee if he is going anywhere, You may be concluding some terrific love affair! Be careful! Don't step on an ant In the middle of a pant, He may want to but he can't The way I do with you! (DeSylva, Brown, Henderson)

By: mmoncur

mmoncur — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:02:58 -0800

Well, Biden did say this guy would be tested. I think he passed. Now we can move on.

By: octothorpe

octothorpe — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:27:10 -0800

jabberjaw: "Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. " Good thing that John Harwood didn't ask any questions about porridge birds.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:39:45 -0800

I would have shooed that fly. It grosses me out to think of swatting flies with my hands. But in the house I am merciless. I probably kill between two and three hundred a day. WHY are there 200-300 flies in your house daily? Do you not have screens on your doors and windows? I don't get too many flies in my house, thank goodness. I do get mice, and occasional weird insects I've never seen before. Sometimes I see the largest black shelled cricket-like things I've ever seen. They are a good inch long. There's one kind of insect I see occasionally that is a sort of centipede or millipede like creature — whichever it is, it just seems to have an obscene number of legs. One time I squished one with a tissue, and a couple of the legs fell off on the counter. I watched, transfixed with horror, as the detached legs just kept wiggling for a full ten seconds.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:44:19 -0800

Excellent use of the word "boss," From Bklyn.

By: ElvisJesus

ElvisJesus — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:54:22 -0800

Somali pirates, flies .... soft on security my ass

By: Electric Dragon

Electric Dragon — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:58:05 -0800

Man swats fly: that's not a story. Fly swats man: now that's a story.

By: mediareport

mediareport — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:34:57 -0800

Jimmy Carter carried a large, bulky, translucent satchel. Darkish red and purple clumps of indistinct flesh could be seen through the glistening varicose pouch: an animal casing of some kind. Jimmy Carter stroked the distended sac reverently while addressing Barack. “These are the Reagan Organs. They have yet to be transferred into a Melchoki Jar like the ones you see adorning this chamber. Until the Jar is ready it is my duty to carry and protect the Organs...." Barack Obama lowered his shoulder and dashed towards Jimmy Carter at full speed. There was a tremendous collision and the Reagan Sac was caught between them. The pressure of the two men smashing together applied a stress to the Reagan Sac which was too great for it to bear. The thin casing tore completely apart and the precious intestines and their preservative fluids were ejected, spiraling out into the surrounding area, whipping and coiling in their anguish. Barack Obama’s face sustained a gigantic splash of Reagan’s juice which seared his eyes and entered his beleaguered mouth, passing down his throat and scorching the soft tissues within. One of Reagan’s intestines, blinded by fury, wrapped itself around the exposed throat of Jimmy Carter. Within a few seconds it had wound so tightly that Jimmy Carter’s neck was catastrophically crushed. The intestine continued its constrictions and a moment later Jimmy’s eyes, ballooned and engorged with blood, erupted in a shower of meaty ocular detritus before his entire head detached from his body, launching high into the air on a jet of blood where it collided with the ceiling of the Chamber, exploding into a putrid carnage which cascaded down onto Gerald Ford, who was even more befuddled than usual. Barack didn’t waste time to witness the spectacular mutilation and death of Jimmy Carter. Even before Jimmy’s head separated, Barack had turned his attention toward George W. Bush. I'd vomit but I'm laughing too hard. carsonb, I...well, I don't know what to say.

By: metaplectic

metaplectic — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:47:06 -0800

Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust? They can survive and reproduce in there. At least the ickier ones. I'd rather not have to contemplate what's colonizing the inside of my vacuum when I'm looking at it There is also nothing to stop them from just crawling back out through the hose. It's much more fun and effective to fry them with an electric swatter or freeze them with spray from an inverted can of compressed air. Then flush them down the toilet - they will also crawl back out of garbage cans.

By: mdn

mdn — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:49:39 -0800

The first two videos of last night's Colbert Report referenced this and were pretty funny.

By: He Is Only The Imposter

He Is Only The Imposter — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 05:52:06 -0800

Where was the Secret Service anyway? I'm not sure I feel comfortable if a simple insect can get that kind of access to the president.

By: orme

orme — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:20:54 -0800

...our Presidents are ROBOTS. Robama?

By: minifigs

minifigs — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:29:42 -0800

His Beleaguered Mouth - my new band name Witness the Spectacular Mutilation and Death of Jimmy Carter - our first album

By: lester

lester — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:34:58 -0800

any good hunter eats what he kills.

By: elfgirl

elfgirl — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:37:54 -0800

WHY are there 200-300 flies in your house daily? Do you not have screens on your doors and windows? Look at Nothing's location, orange swan. Speaking as someone who's lived in Central America, at certain climes you're going to have insects in your house unless it's hermetically sealed. And then even the roaches will get in.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:41:40 -0800

I catch flies live in my hands, unharmed and then let them go. Not because I love flies but because I'm a total fucking show off.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:42:59 -0800

I, for one, welcome our new, insect-killing overlord.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:43:26 -0800

Ah... the honeymoon period. In which the new President could fart in Hu Jintao's face during trade negotiations and the media would sigh how it was redolent of cedar. Bush II had his as he manfully cleared brush. In an alternate universe where the economy didn't fall apart for another 12 months, President McCain is enjoying his. And in 2012, President Romney or whoever will be enjoying theirs.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:48:01 -0800

Bill Clinton let Monica get his fly.

By: The Bellman

The Bellman — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 06:53:15 -0800

And in 2012, President Romney or whoever will be enjoying theirs. Dream on, Joe Beese. I'll give you a hint: It won't be a fly, it'll be a moose. It won't be a CNN interview room, it'll be a helicopter. And it won't be "manful". . . . It'll be "hot".

By: ixohoxi

ixohoxi — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:00:59 -0800

I've been a vegetarian for almost fifteen years, and PETA's drivel just makes me want to stab kittens with knitting needles.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:03:56 -0800

carsonb's linked story was... amusing, but we already know that the Prez does whatever a spider can. Including eat flies. (He saved it for later.)

By: arcolz

arcolz — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:07:58 -0800

Reminds me of the scene from The Fifth Element where the president smashes a cockroach with his shoe. Of course that cockroach happened to be a listening bug for the villain. I wonder what super villain happened to commission this fly?

By: jacquilynne

jacquilynne — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:09:41 -0800

There's been a fly buzzing around my head for the last 2 days. Where can I get an Obama of my own?

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:09:51 -0800

Some dong sent us a terrible YouTube edit of this last night via the contact form, chopped up ineptly with some sound effects to be Obama Craps Pants On Television. So it's comforting to find out at least what the hell they were starting with.

By: silkyd

silkyd — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:17:30 -0800

Pitiful humans: your President could have killed it with his mind.

By: kittyprecious

kittyprecious — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:20:15 -0800

Plus they can carry cholera and hepatitis e. Wait, whoa...there's a Hepatitis E now? Is there some sort of liver-disease arms race I'm not aware of going on?

By: storybored

storybored — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:24:21 -0800

I didn't think there were any flys on television.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:25:48 -0800

I catch flies live in my hands, unharmed and then let them go. Not because I love flies but because I'm a total fucking show off. You want to freak your friends out? Why, of course I do. What kind of stupid question is that?? Next time you catch a fly in your hand, run a sink full of water -- enough to submerge the hand + fly anyhow. Hold the fly underwater until it stops moving, being careful not to crush it. Put Dead Fly on a flat surface -- paper plate, whatever. Poke it a few times to demonstrate that it is indeed dead, but again be careful not to damage it. Pour table salt onto the fly, until Dead Fly is entirely buried under a mound of salt -- ENTIRELY buried, as in you should not be able to see the fly at all. Say a few magic words and wait about 30 seconds. The fly will dig itself out of the salt mound (creepy as hell!), crawl up to the top, clean its wings and fly away. Works best if your friends are really stoned... even better if they're really gullible ("I SUMMON THE POWERZ OF SATAN!!1!")

By: dunkadunc

dunkadunc — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:26:23 -0800

>: I wonder what super villain happened to commission this fly? Actually, this fly was pointedly released by the Secret Service to give Obama an opportunity to demonstrate his cat-like Marxist reflexes- crushing flies today, crushing enemies tomorrow.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:37:03 -0800

here's been a fly buzzing around my head for the last 2 days. Where can I get an Obama of my own? SkyMall? Hammacher Schlemmer?

By: PuppyCat

PuppyCat — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:37:31 -0800

I am reminded of the caption on my favorite 'shopped photo of Obama ever: "Chill the fuck out, I got this." Right on for killing the fly, Mr. President. I myself am a huge fan of killing disease-ridden creatures that can multiply faster than I can.

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:41:33 -0800

I invite flies over for tea, and occasionally I'll have some of those Hawaiian rolls which make it extra special. Many of the flies I've had tea with are never heard from again. Sometimes, I sit and worry, and wonder where they are now. Stuck in some psycho's vacuum? Searching for lost family members, not knowing they have been horribly dismembered by kitchen knives? Trapped under a cup and exiled to the wastelands? Those executed by the state, they're the lucky ones. Then I weep, and go onto the internet to inform people "omg I am actually crying right now".

By: Midnight Rambler

Midnight Rambler — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:42:03 -0800

Barack Obama hates black... flies.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:52:22 -0800

I had no idea there were so many anti-fly-killing types on Metafilter. I really don't know how anyone can feel guilt about killing flies, mosquitos, or similar disease-carrying, swarming insects; you're not going to wipe them out by smushing or zapping the ones that get close to you. And they'll get you after you're dead anyway. I mean, I use organic bug repellent, but that is to benefit me, not the bugs.

By: GeckoDundee

GeckoDundee — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:59:05 -0800

Where was the Secret Service anyway? I'm not sure I feel comfortable if a simple insect can get that kind of access to the president. Well until they took it down with the... Sorry. I meant, yeah, he slapped it dead. He did. The President. On his own. Uh huh. He sure did. All Kung Fu Kid and what have you. How about that. Ha. Ha. Move along now. Thank you.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:04:08 -0800

IvoShandor: I, for one, injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected not to kill the fly Kid, we only have one question: Have you ever been arrested?

By: drjimmy11

drjimmy11 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:23:11 -0800

Awesome! He must have been pretending that fly was the Bill of Rights, or maybe a gay person. I love this guy so much I just can't stand it.

By: internet!Hannah

internet!Hannah — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:24:53 -0800

You can also stun flies with canned air held upside down to "freeze" then, then tie very thin thread or a human hair around their neck. When they thaw and wake up, you have a fly on a leash. You can keep em in the freezer for longer periods of storage.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:28:19 -0800

You know, if George Bush swatted a fly, and then got his yes-men to tell him what a good job he did, and made MSNBC film the dead fly… Well, let's just say it would be a totally different discussion.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:31:28 -0800

Also: I'm so glad that we, as a society, are so post-race that a president, who happens to be black, is able to do a totally normal, everyday thing without it becoming a Topic. I swear to God, we will get a full news cycle on the First Black American Presidential Fart Captured on Film. And the talking heads will all pretend it is a legitimate thing to discuss.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:37:39 -0800

hillary clinton swats fly, breaks elbow

By: humannaire

humannaire — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 08:54:15 -0800

You know, if George Bush swatted a fly, and then got his yes-men to tell him what a good job he did, and made MSNBC film the dead fly… Well, let's just say it would be a totally different discussion. That's because George W. Bush (to whom I presume you are referring) was an illiterate and possibly insane imbecile who did more harm to the people of any number of nations in a shorter period of time than many historical tyrants, dictators, terrorists (actual meaning), and even genocidists did their entire careers. Barack Obama, on the other hand—as an individual and a representative—as done more in less than a single year to inspire world's population (in the very least) than the last eight US presidents combined. An appropriate analogy to what you are saying that is that if Richard Nixon had killed the fly, and then had the moment captured and replayed, it would spin in a very different way than had, say, Jimmy Carter. And for precisely the same reasons, you are right.

By: paisley henosis

paisley henosis — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:07:20 -0800

humannaire: That's because George W. Bush (to whom I presume you are referring) was an illiterate and possibly insane imbecile who did more harm to the people of any number of nations in a shorter period of time than many historical tyrants, dictators, terrorists (actual meaning), and even genocidists did their entire careers. No…shit? Who the fuck ever said GW was a good person, ever? Christ, take a cold shower. My point, which you completely fucking missed, was that when the Good President does something, then we talk about it being interesting/funny/whatever, but when the Bad President does the same thing we talk about how ridiculous or bad it is. If Obama landed an F-16 on an aircraft carrier, the reaction would be quite different from when the last guy did it, even though it would be the same action. Which is what I said, but apparently it was more important to you to give yourself a hernia than to catch my drift. Whatever. This is stupid and shouldn't even be discussed as though it carried even the weight of a fly.

By: liza

liza — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:08:22 -0800

I hate PETA. I hate flies. I am trying really, really hard not to say I love Obama, but goddamn it ...

By: quin

quin — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:11:06 -0800

In college, the smoking room was attached to a food area that rarely got cleaned and this obviously made it a breeding ground for flies. You could walk in the room and easily find 20 or 30 of the things buzzing around on any given day. Because the way my schedule played out, I spent a lot of time in there waiting for friends to finish up their classes, and in my boredom I became an absolutely expert fly catcher; To this day, I can with one hand, reach out and snatch a fly off a table almost every time on the first try. This works because I did it so often, it became a muscle memory and I don't have to even think about it, I just see the fly and suddenly it's in my hand. I'll usually hold my fist up to my ear to confirm that I caught it, and then I'll let it go with a small grunt of satisfaction. I should reiterate the "without thinking about it" part, because apparently if you absentmindedly do this in a work meeting, people will look at you funny. Even more so if you've been doing it repeatedly to the same fly.

By: naju

naju — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:17:54 -0800

Samurai Obama is more real than any of us imagined.

By: LordSludge

LordSludge — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:27:27 -0800

(I had no idea fly-catching was an usual skill -- been doing that since I was a little kid. Way more impressive if you snatch em out of the air... with chopsticks)

By: y6y6y6

y6y6y6 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:32:18 -0800

"My point, which you completely fucking missed, was that when the Good President does something, then we talk about it being interesting/funny/whatever, but when the Bad President does the same thing we talk about how ridiculous or bad it is." Try replacing "Good President" with "articulate scholar", and "Bad President" with "person who has failed at everything he's done in life". Comparing Bush to Obama as if the fact that they're both a president makes them the same is silly. Bush was a show-off, a drunk frat boy, a punk trying to out do his daddy. It's no surprise that when he did goofy stuff it came off looking ridiculous. That's how he got attention and affirmation his whole life. Being the life of the party. Being a clown. It should also be no surprise that Obama can bring a certain grace and charm to such things.

By: samsara

samsara — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:43:10 -0800

I must say tho, Mike Relm has done a fantastic remix of the swatting.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:50:52 -0800

Even more so if you've been doing it repeatedly to the same fly. What a werid day that must have been for the fly. Well, life, cause they only live like 15 hours and most of that was spent in your hand.

By: ilana

ilana — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 09:54:22 -0800

Robama? Just as long as he doesn't start taking breaks to try to find a "Sarah Connor." "Come viss me if you hope to change."

By: y6y6y6

y6y6y6 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:00:49 -0800

I think if I was president I'd set things like this up. I'd have the CIA get a trained bug to fly into my copsticks or something. Have a baby in a greet line freaking out, then suddenly start laughing when I touched him. That sort of thing. Having staged events where the president buys a burger just seems like a waste. Between the CIA, DARPA, and the NSA it seems like he could come up with some badass staged miracles.

By: Diablevert

Diablevert — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:04:33 -0800

It's no surprise that when he did goofy stuff it came off looking ridiculous. That's how he got attention and affirmation his whole life. Being the life of the party. Being a clown. It should also be no surprise that Obama can bring a certain grace and charm to such things. As a person who first decided to support the guy when he called up that reporter and apologized for stomping on his game, I agree that Obama is charming and that this is a tremendous asset to him. But humans have a definite tendency to see all the good in people they like, and all the bad in people the don't. Bush could have had that exact same, "Did you see that, Fliescher? Did you like that?" interaction with his press secretary and peeps would have been all over it as the act of an arrogant frat-boy always demanding obsequious applause from his gang of underlings. Being just...dreamy is a valuable quality for a leader because it leads people to instinctively support them rather than stepping back and thinking critically about their policies. I want Obama to a be one charming motherfucker. It's gonna help him get a lot of stuff done that I like. But our brains are not as one. I'm sure there stuff he's gonna want to do or not that I'm not gonna like. And that being the case, it's wise to step back sometimes and give Price Awesomeness the hairy eyeball... Fly thing was petty sweet, though.

By: phliar

phliar — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:20:56 -0800

For heaven's sake, does anyone expect PETA to say anything else? The whole point of a principled stand is that there can be no exceptions -- they're not the People for Ethical Treatment of Some Animals. If you believe abortion is murder then you must be opposed to it without exceptions for rape etc. As for Mr Obama -- hell, anyone can swat a sitting fly. I want my president to be better than that; I want him to be able to grab one in flight. With his jaws. And then eat it. (But I'm just one of those pinko liberals for whom he'll never be able to do enough.)

By: nomisxid

nomisxid — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:23:59 -0800

I guess not everyone went to a summer camp where you learned how to hypnotize a fly. (we learned a two handed method I can't find on video)

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:42:23 -0800

How would he do against Brundlefly? President Bush...noticing that there was a lot about al Qaeda, asked Condi Rice why it was that we couldn't stop 'swatting flies' and eliminate al Qaeda.

By: bitteroldman

bitteroldman — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:57:10 -0800

a fly is not technically an animal, is it? are insects animals?

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:03:02 -0800

the last 5 seconds of the Obama fly Also: The Fly by Karl Shapiro Oh hideous little bat the size of snot, With polyhedral eyes and shabby clothes, To populate the stinking cat you walk The promontory of the dead man's nose, Climb with the fine leg of a Duncan Phyfe The smoking mountains of my food And in a comic mood In mid-air take to bed a wife. Riding and riding with your filth of hair On gluey foot or wing, forever coy, Hot from the compost and green sweet decay Sounding your buzzer like an urchin toy; You dot all whiteness with diminutive stool; In the tight belly of the dead Burrow with hungry head And inlay maggots like a jewel. At your approach the great horse stomps and paws Bringing the hurricane of his heavy tail; Shod in disease you dare to kiss my hand Which sweeps against you like an angry flail; Still you return, return, trusting your wing To draw you from the hunter's reach That learns to kill to teach Disorder to the tinier thing. My peace is your disaster. For your death Children like spiders cup their pretty hands And wives resort to chemistry of war. In fens of sticky paper and quicksands You glue yourself to death. Where you are stuck You struggle hideously and beg; You amputate your leg Imbedded in the amber muck. But I, a man, must swat you with my hate, Slap you across the air and crush your flight, Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood, Expose your little guts pasty and white, Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard's hat, Pin your wings under like a crow's, Tear off your flimsy clothes And beat you as one beats a rat. Then like Gargantua I stride among The corpses strewn like raisins in the dust, The broken bodies of the narrow dead That catch the thrust with fingers of disgust. I sweep. One gyrates like a top and falls And stunned, stone blind, and deaf Buzzes it's frightful F And dies between three cannibals.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:05:25 -0800

bitteroldman : a fly is not technically an animal, is it? are insects animals? Kingdom: Animalia Yep, they're animals.

By: discountfortunecookie

discountfortunecookie — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:18:50 -0800

Try not to complain about trivial matters. If you do, then your legitimate complaints will be seen as trivial as well.

By: edgeways

edgeways — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 12:35:44 -0800

Whatever. This is stupid and shouldn't even be discussed as though it carried even the weight of a fly. And yet... you are here doing so. Your original point may have had merit, but that kind of drained away with the reply.

By: Hickeystudio

Hickeystudio — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:32:10 -0800

That's the same fly that put Cheney in a wheelchair, Mr Potter style. Obama's obviously a Vulcan, and he's the best Vulcan for the job.

By: batgrlHG

batgrlHG — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 15:41:29 -0800

I was sure yesterday that this was either 1) someone trolling the AP by making this up and no one had thought to fact check before posting or 2) PETA just trying to get itself in the news again in order to drum up new members. Guess it's 2. Someone already mentioned mosquitoes, and boy, I just have to think that all the PETA folks kvetching about this must not live in the deep south. Or anywhere with a large number of insects. In particular Louisiana. Granted when I lived there I had several holes in the wooden floor of the house that I lived in so I shared the place with more bugs than I can ever give the correct names to. Many of which wanted to sting, bite and/or drink my blood. And as they outnumbered me I wouldn't call mine the winning side of the battle. I won't even go into the swarm of bees that tried to move in there, or the scorpions that tried to move in with me in Alabama. So yes, let's invite those PETA folk down to Louisiana, dress them in black, and slather them with BBQ sauce. Then we can all go on a lovely swamp tour at dusk. I'll bring my camera. By the way, people who consider themselves PETA supporters but who own pets? They don't think you should do that either. (I once worked for the corporate offices of a pet chain who had to negotiate with PETA, and read up on them back then. I'm pretty sure it hasn't changed - I'll let someone else find the links since reading their websites usually annoys me.)

By: batgrlHG

batgrlHG — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 15:46:33 -0800

While I know that mosquitoes are attracted to the color black I have no idea about the BBQ sauce. I'm pretty sure it'd attract flies though. And so possibly make the person a more appetizing meal for our insect friends.

By: yiftach

yiftach — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:10:57 -0800

phliar: The whole point of ~~a principled~~ an extremist stand is that there can be no exceptions Fixed. That's the problem with extremists and fundamentalists, right there, isn't it?

By: batgrlHG

batgrlHG — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:16:58 -0800

Also the average housefly only lives from 15 to 25 days. So no one has any clue whether this was a youngish or oldish fly - just that either way it's not going to be around for much longer. Which makes it seem even sillier for PETA to get jazz'd up about. Note that from the ABC link: "Friedrich admits that despite his fly-swatting ways, the President has been a champion for animal rights in the past. PETA claims to be pleased by Obama’s denouncement of factory farming, Canadian seal hunting and Michelle Obama’s stance against wearing fur." So....PETA admits that this president has already addressed some of the larger issues they wanted him to speak against - but they want insect compassion too. And then they wonder why people don't take them seriously.

By: hurdy gurdy girl

hurdy gurdy girl — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:52:54 -0800

Oh man, Barack Obama is just so cool. I could watch that video over and over, and I am not kidding. jabberjaw: Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. Cyborgs, at least. Unfortunately, I think my prime minister has already won the Most Lifelike Robot In Charge of a Country contest. /is jealous of Americans with their smart, handsome leader

By: hattifattener

hattifattener — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 21:55:04 -0800

Surely this… wait, am I in the right thread?

By: jabberjaw

jabberjaw — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:25:29 -0800

"Can't do it. System overload. Circuits breaking down," Obama said, ~~mimicking a robot~~. From a fundraiser speech yesterday.

By: WCityMike

WCityMike — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 09:59:48 -0800

Iosephus: "Ok, that read like a freaky cross of Clive Barker ghostwriting for Dan Brown, with some blushingly implied homoeroticism and presidential slash, and enough insanity to make even Grant Morrison seem pedestrian. carsonb just broke my brain." Okay, I have to go see what you guys are talking ab– oh sweet Jesus what the hell?!