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June 21, 2009 10:08 AM Subscribe
That is a fucked-up little story right there.
posted by echo target at 10:15 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by echo target at 10:15 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
... "And then i decided to do heroin!"
This whole story is just a little too... pat.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:16 AM on June 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
This whole story is just a little too... pat.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:16 AM on June 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
I assume the author means something like "if I hadn't walked in on him, he wouldn't have had the heart attack". No?
posted by King Bee at 10:22 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by King Bee at 10:22 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think it's that he'd assumed his dad was faking until it was "too late."
posted by roll truck roll at 10:25 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by roll truck roll at 10:25 AM on June 21, 2009
Moral of the story: take a CPR class.
posted by aquafortis at 10:26 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by aquafortis at 10:26 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
So the moral of the story is to respect the Do Not Disturb Sign?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:26 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by Foci for Analysis at 10:26 AM on June 21, 2009
Did his father's heart break into a million little pieces?
posted by availablelight at 10:29 AM on June 21, 2009 [24 favorites]
posted by availablelight at 10:29 AM on June 21, 2009 [24 favorites]
When the dad is rockin', don't come knockin'.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Well, that sucked.
posted by doctor_negative at 10:34 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by doctor_negative at 10:34 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
Was that a parody of something?
posted by brain_drain at 10:37 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by brain_drain at 10:37 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Was anyone else reminded of the dad on Arrested Development, and his "lessons," when he got to the bit with the duct tape and the electric knife?
Strange story. Feels like big chunks of it are missing. Or like a tawdry shill for an upcoming memoir.
posted by jbickers at 10:38 AM on June 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
Strange story. Feels like big chunks of it are missing. Or like a tawdry shill for an upcoming memoir.
posted by jbickers at 10:38 AM on June 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
Wow, fuck.
posted by Nelson at 10:39 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Nelson at 10:39 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I would say something disparaging about LA right here, but I don't think it's the reason.
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:42 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:42 AM on June 21, 2009
Ugh. What was that?
posted by Kikkoman at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Kikkoman at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow holy shit. The part about him just beating the crap out of him was... weird? You can parent how you want, I won't judge... just don't go putting shock collars around their necks at least.
Happy... Father's Day? I guess? <_<
posted by Askiba at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2009
Happy... Father's Day? I guess? <_<
posted by Askiba at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2009
Strange story. Feels like big chunks of it are missing. Or like a tawdry shill for an upcoming memoir.
It's seeming to me that using the HI EVERYBODY GUESS WHAT I USED TO DO DRUGS theme for a book is starting to wear just a little bit thin.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:50 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
It's seeming to me that using the HI EVERYBODY GUESS WHAT I USED TO DO DRUGS theme for a book is starting to wear just a little bit thin.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:50 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'll be honest, I don't know what to feel after reading that.
posted by tommasz at 10:52 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by tommasz at 10:52 AM on June 21, 2009
I would say something disparaging about LA right here, but I don't think it's the reason.
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:42 AM on June 21
Unless I missed something, I think the bulk of the story (up to the father's death) took place in Boston.
posted by SAC at 10:56 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:42 AM on June 21
Unless I missed something, I think the bulk of the story (up to the father's death) took place in Boston.
posted by SAC at 10:56 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
That was FUCKING HILARIOUS. You can't make this shit up- oh, wait, I guess he just did.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:58 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:58 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
The story seemed to suffer from a low word count and maybe a deadline.
posted by Toekneesan at 10:59 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Toekneesan at 10:59 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Only in America...thank fuck.
(In England it'd be gaffer tape, hedge trimmers and junior cricket, and possibly a tea interval)
posted by Abiezer at 11:00 AM on June 21, 2009 [5 favorites]
(In England it'd be gaffer tape, hedge trimmers and junior cricket, and possibly a tea interval)
posted by Abiezer at 11:00 AM on June 21, 2009 [5 favorites]
I bet that woman on the kitchen floor could write a better story.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:00 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:00 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
"...but then he came back from the dead, and I started shooting whale tranquilizers just so I could get up in the morning to drive another stake through his broken heart..."
posted by clockzero at 11:03 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by clockzero at 11:03 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
posted by dunkadunc at 11:06 AM on June 21, 2009 [15 favorites]
posted by dunkadunc at 11:06 AM on June 21, 2009 [15 favorites]
why pay for counseling when you can just put it out on the internet?
posted by pyramid termite at 11:09 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by pyramid termite at 11:09 AM on June 21, 2009
Was anyone else reminded of the dad on Arrested Development, and his "lessons," when he got to the bit with the duct tape and the electric knife?
What a coincidence! We're watching through AD for the first time, and that was our episode last night, and my first thought upon reading this. I expected a one-armed paramedic to turn to the author and sternly remind him, "And THAT'S why you don't interrupt your parents' extramarital coitus."
posted by jake at 11:10 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
What a coincidence! We're watching through AD for the first time, and that was our episode last night, and my first thought upon reading this. I expected a one-armed paramedic to turn to the author and sternly remind him, "And THAT'S why you don't interrupt your parents' extramarital coitus."
posted by jake at 11:10 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
I dunno, maybe she was traumatized. It's gotta be a bit weird when la petite mort becames more mort and less petite.
posted by Justinian at 11:10 AM on June 21, 2009
I dunno, maybe she was traumatized. It's gotta be a bit weird when la petite mort becames more mort and less petite.
posted by Justinian at 11:10 AM on June 21, 2009
Moral of the story: take a CPR class.
Or better yet, buy an AED!
posted by TedW at 11:11 AM on June 21, 2009
Or better yet, buy an AED!
posted by TedW at 11:11 AM on June 21, 2009
(Calling my blessedly heart-healthy Dad now, Happy Father's Day!)
posted by jake at 11:12 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by jake at 11:12 AM on June 21, 2009
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
Being fictional.
posted by The Bellman at 11:17 AM on June 21, 2009 [23 favorites]
Being fictional.
posted by The Bellman at 11:17 AM on June 21, 2009 [23 favorites]
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
Acetylating some morphine.
posted by TedW at 11:21 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Acetylating some morphine.
posted by TedW at 11:21 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
"But you try and tell the young people of today that... and they won't believe you"
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 11:24 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 11:24 AM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Yeah, the question of what the woman was doing was a major gap that upended the story. I'm amazed the editor didn't catch that and make him say something about it.
The father probably did ensure that a child who otherwise would not have walked did so, however-- without stimulation, those areas of the brain and the muscles would have continued to atrophy. Of course, the cruelty was completely unnecessary.
I doubt that it's fictional, however.
posted by Maias at 11:24 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
The father probably did ensure that a child who otherwise would not have walked did so, however-- without stimulation, those areas of the brain and the muscles would have continued to atrophy. Of course, the cruelty was completely unnecessary.
I doubt that it's fictional, however.
posted by Maias at 11:24 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It was then that the woman carried him.
posted by swift at 11:29 AM on June 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by swift at 11:29 AM on June 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
Weird! I just read the same story in the Boston Phoenix, except it was a totally different story:
The constant undercurrent of the father-son dynamic was the elder man's abiding disgust at the failure of his son, who was palsied as a child, to build himself into a Notre Dame football star. And so, that night as his father gasped for air, Farrell looked into his bloodshot eyes and let him fade away; it was something he's never publicly admitted until the publication of this book.
posted by moxiedoll at 11:30 AM on June 21, 2009
The constant undercurrent of the father-son dynamic was the elder man's abiding disgust at the failure of his son, who was palsied as a child, to build himself into a Notre Dame football star. And so, that night as his father gasped for air, Farrell looked into his bloodshot eyes and let him fade away; it was something he's never publicly admitted until the publication of this book.
posted by moxiedoll at 11:30 AM on June 21, 2009
I wonder if this is the same Richard Farrell.
I think so..
And, he DOES have a book out.
I would guess this is his work as well
posted by HuronBob at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I think so..
And, he DOES have a book out.
I would guess this is his work as well
posted by HuronBob at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
He forgot to mention one of the most brutal things his father did to make him a man . . . he named him "Sue."
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [7 favorites]
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009 [7 favorites]
Oh god. Nothing says Father's Day like vindictive torture porn.
posted by oinopaponton at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by oinopaponton at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009
And that man's name – is Bill Clinton.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:31 AM on June 21, 2009
Will drug memoir writers please, please watch the Ray Charles movie? Because that's how people try drugs. It is not this giant Simba like howl of the excruciating pain and turning to make a Faustian deal with heroin. It is a bunch of bored guys on tour getting off. "Hey mind if I try?" "Yeah if you have money."
When reading this I imagined the author late at night, in complete anguish, then running to his bathroom, looking at how disheveled he is, rummaging through the drawers and hastily shooting up, tears streaming down his face. Like he's just got bitten by an exotic snake and heroin is the only antidote. Sorry drugs don't work that way, and when they do (Valium) we make them available via prescription. William S. Burroughs where are you when we need you most!
posted by geoff. at 11:38 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
When reading this I imagined the author late at night, in complete anguish, then running to his bathroom, looking at how disheveled he is, rummaging through the drawers and hastily shooting up, tears streaming down his face. Like he's just got bitten by an exotic snake and heroin is the only antidote. Sorry drugs don't work that way, and when they do (Valium) we make them available via prescription. William S. Burroughs where are you when we need you most!
posted by geoff. at 11:38 AM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
It just goes to show you can't be too careful!
posted by tzikeh at 11:40 AM on June 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
posted by tzikeh at 11:40 AM on June 21, 2009 [13 favorites]
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
See, that's where the story gets REALLY fucked up. See, the kid had a split personality, and it was his alter-ego, a woman named Sue, who was having sex with his father. And later that afternoon, Sue shot JFK.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:42 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
See, that's where the story gets REALLY fucked up. See, the kid had a split personality, and it was his alter-ego, a woman named Sue, who was having sex with his father. And later that afternoon, Sue shot JFK.
posted by Krrrlson at 11:42 AM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
The same exact thing happened to me, except it was my mom, not my dad.
posted by MegoSteve at 11:46 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by MegoSteve at 11:46 AM on June 21, 2009
I'm surprised to learn that you can reverse the effects of head-trauma-induced brain damage by stretching a baby's legs around in excruciating ways.
posted by palliser at 11:47 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by palliser at 11:47 AM on June 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
Weird. As I was reading this story, The Velvet Underground's "Heroin" came up on shuffle.
posted by limeonaire at 11:48 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by limeonaire at 11:48 AM on June 21, 2009
I watched 30 seconds of High on Crack Street on fathers day. Wow, that's enough. It seems weird that a non-using addict could calmly film his old buddies using immense amounts of drugs and not get high himself. In fact the guy in this picture looks alot like the junkie in the first minute of the movie/ What's up with that?
posted by Xurando at 11:50 AM on June 21, 2009
posted by Xurando at 11:50 AM on June 21, 2009
The same exact thing happened to me, except it was my mom, not my dad.
Seriously?
posted by limeonaire at 11:50 AM on June 21, 2009
Seriously?
posted by limeonaire at 11:50 AM on June 21, 2009
Doctors have been treating cerebral palsied children with "patterning" exercises since at least the 1940s - moving the arms and legs repeatedly in a prescribed pattern to not only stretch spastic muscles but also to train a different part of the brain to learn reciprocal motion. I find it hard to believe that in 1981 the only advice doctors gave to the father of a CP child was to put him in a "special school" and give him a cast to wear at night. And, yeah, what was the "other woman" doing during Dad's alleged heart attack?
posted by Oriole Adams at 12:07 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by Oriole Adams at 12:07 PM on June 21, 2009
You guys are just a bunch of grouches, trying to ruin a heartwarming story for the rest of us.
posted by echo target at 12:10 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by echo target at 12:10 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Well, he had me somewhat interested up till the point that he threw in the sentence "I became a journalist, covered the war in Bosnia, made an award-winning documentary." The sparkling combination of offhanded cynicism and blatant self-promotion is indeed very LA-ish.
posted by blucevalo at 12:12 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by blucevalo at 12:12 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
But my dad's exercise of passion didn't stop there. For my 13th birthday, he threw me a special party. First, we ate my favorite peanut butter cake. Then he allowed me to open every present but a large box neatly trimmed in colorful birthday-balloon wrapping paper. When everybody was gone, he marched me into the basement to open the box.
It was a set of boxing gloves. We put them on. My dad proceeded to beat me unmercifully. Each time I tried to get up, leather kissed my nose, eyes and jaw. Blood ran into my mouth from the spot where my front teeth punctured my bottom lip. I begged him to stop
HappyBar Beat Mitzvah!
posted by dr_dank at 12:13 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It was a set of boxing gloves. We put them on. My dad proceeded to beat me unmercifully. Each time I tried to get up, leather kissed my nose, eyes and jaw. Blood ran into my mouth from the spot where my front teeth punctured my bottom lip. I begged him to stop
Happy
posted by dr_dank at 12:13 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
And at that instant, we both experienced the pain and madness of love. Then he was gone.
That night, I rolled up my first prot-spec dwarven pally.
posted by The Bellman at 12:17 PM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
That night, I rolled up my first prot-spec dwarven pally.
posted by The Bellman at 12:17 PM on June 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
Here's a different Fathers' Day story (warning: maudlin).
posted by exogenous at 12:31 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by exogenous at 12:31 PM on June 21, 2009
Will drug memoir writers please, please watch the Ray Charles movie?
I think what was missing from this article was the part where he has a sentimental reunion with his dead little brother in his dreams and suddenly he can see again.
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:52 PM on June 21, 2009
I think what was missing from this article was the part where he has a sentimental reunion with his dead little brother in his dreams and suddenly he can see again.
posted by Saxon Kane at 12:52 PM on June 21, 2009
So for his 13th birthday he tried to give a concussion to the kid he "cured" of cerebral palsy?
Curious....
posted by litleozy at 12:54 PM on June 21, 2009
Curious....
posted by litleozy at 12:54 PM on June 21, 2009
Will drug memoir writers please, please watch the Ray Charles movie? Because that's how people try drugs. It is not this giant Simba like howl of the excruciating pain and turning to make a Faustian deal with heroin. It is a bunch of bored guys on tour getting off. "Hey mind if I try?" "Yeah if you have money."
Well, I agree in theory. But if we assume the author is telling the truth (and hell, why not?), then why should he change the chronology of his story to fit some idea of what is realistic? Stories where the events progress exact as they would in the average case tend to be pretty boring anyway.
posted by lunasol at 1:05 PM on June 21, 2009
Well, I agree in theory. But if we assume the author is telling the truth (and hell, why not?), then why should he change the chronology of his story to fit some idea of what is realistic? Stories where the events progress exact as they would in the average case tend to be pretty boring anyway.
posted by lunasol at 1:05 PM on June 21, 2009
I have CP, and I call bullshit on this obnoxious motherfucker and his absurd self loathing "crippity cripple crip crip". If he actually exists, he knows exactly what the totally ignorant expect to hear.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 1:07 PM on June 21, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by StrikeTheViol at 1:07 PM on June 21, 2009 [4 favorites]
"I would say something disparaging about LA right here, but I don't think it's the reason."
"Well, he had me somewhat interested up till the point that he threw in the sentence "I became a journalist, covered the war in Bosnia, made an award-winning documentary." The sparkling combination of offhanded cynicism and blatant self-promotion is indeed very LA-ish."
**********
Listen you... you fail to realize that YOU are the one coming across with off-handed cynicism and blatant self-promotion. See... the sheer ignorance of that whole "I try to openly bitch about Southern California whenever possible, especially when it has absolutely *nothing* to do with a topic, because it makes me feel superior and sound cool to the hip kids" shtick has already provided such annoyance that I slaved over my computer for the last month to create a local web site in response. And frankly, after all of that work I'm really friggin' tired.
So next time you choose to flaunt your assumed logistic superiority in a similarly inappropriate manner, I'm just gonna go the easy route and arrange a visit from my neighborhood Crips or get TMZ to dig through your trash. As I'm sure you know quite well, that's how we all roll here. Yeah, that's right. ALL of us. Don't fuck with us, man. We'll cut you like O.J.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:11 PM on June 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
"Well, he had me somewhat interested up till the point that he threw in the sentence "I became a journalist, covered the war in Bosnia, made an award-winning documentary." The sparkling combination of offhanded cynicism and blatant self-promotion is indeed very LA-ish."
**********
Listen you... you fail to realize that YOU are the one coming across with off-handed cynicism and blatant self-promotion. See... the sheer ignorance of that whole "I try to openly bitch about Southern California whenever possible, especially when it has absolutely *nothing* to do with a topic, because it makes me feel superior and sound cool to the hip kids" shtick has already provided such annoyance that I slaved over my computer for the last month to create a local web site in response. And frankly, after all of that work I'm really friggin' tired.
So next time you choose to flaunt your assumed logistic superiority in a similarly inappropriate manner, I'm just gonna go the easy route and arrange a visit from my neighborhood Crips or get TMZ to dig through your trash. As I'm sure you know quite well, that's how we all roll here. Yeah, that's right. ALL of us. Don't fuck with us, man. We'll cut you like O.J.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:11 PM on June 21, 2009 [9 favorites]
But it turns out my father was dead the entire time.
posted by shadytrees at 1:12 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by shadytrees at 1:12 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
I wonder if his dad said, "I'm comin' to join you, Elizabeth!"?
By all reports I have read, it takes hours and hours to have, and die of, a heart attack. But then I guess those are actual medical heart attacks, rather than the kind you learn about from TV and movies.
I wonder if he pulled up a chair? Read a book? Maybe he and the woman discussed current events in Bosnia over a piece of peanut butter cake?
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:18 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
By all reports I have read, it takes hours and hours to have, and die of, a heart attack. But then I guess those are actual medical heart attacks, rather than the kind you learn about from TV and movies.
I wonder if he pulled up a chair? Read a book? Maybe he and the woman discussed current events in Bosnia over a piece of peanut butter cake?
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:18 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Uh, why would frontal lobe damage give you locomotion issues? The bit that controls your legs is sort of top center of your head.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:19 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:19 PM on June 21, 2009
Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one finding shit like this funny for once. Every time I tell people I "ROFL"ed at "Requiem for a Dream" they look at me funny.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:20 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:20 PM on June 21, 2009
I think the bulk of the story (up to the father's death) took place in Boston.
Lowell. Shedd Park is in Lowell, MA.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:23 PM on June 21, 2009
Lowell. Shedd Park is in Lowell, MA.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:23 PM on June 21, 2009
Oh and btw... bummer of a story. I had mixed feelings. I don't think he killed his dad though... the guy's mother was in the hospital and he caught his dad having sex. Had he instantly thought clearly, it would've been surprising.
Also... he clearly had a mixed bag relationship with his dad. The dad kinda lost me a bit with the "tying him to a chair for his own good" part. But then again, dads thought differently back then. My dad decided the best way to teach a child how to swim was to throw me in the deep end of a pool and not offer any help. Didn't work... instead of bubbling to the surface I sunk down in shock as my mom dove in fully clothed. I had a fear of water and didn't feel safe enough to try swimming for another 7 years. Men used to believe good fatherhood had a core that was more hardcore and macho back then, I think. But still.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:24 PM on June 21, 2009
Also... he clearly had a mixed bag relationship with his dad. The dad kinda lost me a bit with the "tying him to a chair for his own good" part. But then again, dads thought differently back then. My dad decided the best way to teach a child how to swim was to throw me in the deep end of a pool and not offer any help. Didn't work... instead of bubbling to the surface I sunk down in shock as my mom dove in fully clothed. I had a fear of water and didn't feel safe enough to try swimming for another 7 years. Men used to believe good fatherhood had a core that was more hardcore and macho back then, I think. But still.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:24 PM on June 21, 2009
I'm here to tell you that people sometimes *do* take heroin for the first time in dramatic moments. I'm guessing he was already using coke so he knew where to get heroin and had resisted trying it until this happened and it gave him the excuse. So, while I typically call bullshit on drug stories, that didn't seem off to me.
posted by Maias at 1:26 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by Maias at 1:26 PM on June 21, 2009
"And then i decided to do heroin!"
So... did he already have the bag of heroin, untouched but just waiting around for a special occasion? Did he interrupt his unprecedented climax of pain and grief to go figure out how to score a dose before bedtime? There may be a true story hiding in here somewhere, but if so then it's been well hidden.
posted by roystgnr at 1:32 PM on June 21, 2009
So... did he already have the bag of heroin, untouched but just waiting around for a special occasion? Did he interrupt his unprecedented climax of pain and grief to go figure out how to score a dose before bedtime? There may be a true story hiding in here somewhere, but if so then it's been well hidden.
posted by roystgnr at 1:32 PM on June 21, 2009
By all reports I have read, it takes hours and hours to have, and die of, a heart attack. But then I guess those are actual medical heart attacks, rather than the kind you learn about from TV and movies.
Strictly anecdotal, but when my Dad had his heart attack, we weren't sure he was having one. He'd felt ill for several hours that afternoon (pain in his forearms, sort of an indigestion type of feeling) and when he started having more severe chest pains we called 911. Even when the paramedics arrived, Dad was upright in a chair and chatting with them. They put the EKG thingies on his chest and announced "Sir, you're having a heart attack." They loaded him into their truck and rushed him to the hospital, and Dad is still here with us 17 years later. By the way, if you ever want to meet neighbors who've lived nearby for many years but never took the time to introduce themselves, have a firetruck and EMT vehicle pull up on your lawn with lights flashing and sirens wailing.
posted by Oriole Adams at 1:38 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Strictly anecdotal, but when my Dad had his heart attack, we weren't sure he was having one. He'd felt ill for several hours that afternoon (pain in his forearms, sort of an indigestion type of feeling) and when he started having more severe chest pains we called 911. Even when the paramedics arrived, Dad was upright in a chair and chatting with them. They put the EKG thingies on his chest and announced "Sir, you're having a heart attack." They loaded him into their truck and rushed him to the hospital, and Dad is still here with us 17 years later. By the way, if you ever want to meet neighbors who've lived nearby for many years but never took the time to introduce themselves, have a firetruck and EMT vehicle pull up on your lawn with lights flashing and sirens wailing.
posted by Oriole Adams at 1:38 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
There are several scientific review articles on the incidence of death during coitus ..."death in the saddle" follows a pattern in which "the deceased is usually married; he is with a nonspouse in nonfamiliar surroundings after a big meal with alcohol" (A.W. Green 1975). Garner and Allen (1989), who refer to the phenomenon as "la mort d'amour", cite one study in which 14 of 20 cases of coital death occurred during extramarital intercourse...The Science of Orgasm, page 51.
I'd say his pa pulled a Rockefeller, if golf hadn't already co-opted the term.
posted by dgaicun at 1:38 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
That seemed really unreal to me. Partly because, despite it being written for father's day, about the author's dad and their relationship, the dad wasn't really described in any substantial way. We only get a handful of descriptions of things Farrell's dad did to him or for him, which are strange and inconsistent and often pretty brutal. I'm left wandering, who was this guy? What was his deal? Tell us what he looked like, sounded like, where he came from, his outlook on life, his passions, something. Surely you remember his turns of phrase, his gestures, his favorite music...
When most people write about lost loved ones, you get the sense of that person as a visceral presence in their lives, and, in turn, the shape of the absence left behind. Here all I see are a set of childhood traumas that form the backdrop to and explanation for the author's later drug addiction.
posted by bookish at 2:02 PM on June 21, 2009
When most people write about lost loved ones, you get the sense of that person as a visceral presence in their lives, and, in turn, the shape of the absence left behind. Here all I see are a set of childhood traumas that form the backdrop to and explanation for the author's later drug addiction.
posted by bookish at 2:02 PM on June 21, 2009
Self-link, but the FAQ suggests it's okay in this case: I'm uncomfortable reading maudlin / depressing Father's Day articles, because they evoke a strong feeling of fleeting luck at having both my parents alive and well, and sympathy for those who don't.
I got through it today by writing my own Father's Day blog post in which I told my Dad about a major goal I achieved through passion he instilled in me. May give you a smile if this thread has got you feeling down. Writing it was cathartic, but I still want to fly home right now.
posted by jake at 2:08 PM on June 21, 2009
I got through it today by writing my own Father's Day blog post in which I told my Dad about a major goal I achieved through passion he instilled in me. May give you a smile if this thread has got you feeling down. Writing it was cathartic, but I still want to fly home right now.
posted by jake at 2:08 PM on June 21, 2009
....The Aristocrats!
posted by kosem at 2:26 PM on June 21, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by kosem at 2:26 PM on June 21, 2009 [8 favorites]
Uh, why would frontal lobe damage give you locomotion issues? The bit that controls your legs is sort of top center of your head.
Yeah, that whole aspect of this piece seemed (a) hard to believe yet (b) easy to fact-check.
posted by palliser at 2:29 PM on June 21, 2009
Yeah, that whole aspect of this piece seemed (a) hard to believe yet (b) easy to fact-check.
posted by palliser at 2:29 PM on June 21, 2009
Hey, at least he had a father. Fuckin' ingrate.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:34 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:34 PM on June 21, 2009
And so, that night as his father gasped for air, Farrell looked into his bloodshot eyes and let him fade away; it was something he's never publicly admitted until the publication of this book.
I'm constantly amazed by the transformative power of art - how it can take dreadful things like suffering, injustice and hatred, and turn them into money and attention. I feel the same as previous posters - unless he's just a victim of incompetent copyeditors butchering a more nuanced, plausible account, this is hella suss.
posted by RokkitNite at 2:38 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'm constantly amazed by the transformative power of art - how it can take dreadful things like suffering, injustice and hatred, and turn them into money and attention. I feel the same as previous posters - unless he's just a victim of incompetent copyeditors butchering a more nuanced, plausible account, this is hella suss.
posted by RokkitNite at 2:38 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
And then I had my first threesome.
posted by digsrus at 2:43 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by digsrus at 2:43 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Curse my absent father. Where were you when I needed you to mutilate my leg muscles and repeatedly punch me in the face?
posted by fearthehat at 2:51 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by fearthehat at 2:51 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
....The Aristocrats!
I hate myself for favoriting that.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:04 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I hate myself for favoriting that.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:04 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Do you want to hear the story about how I became a millionaire?
--------
I WAS VERY POOR, BUT NOW I'M A MILLIONAIRE
I'm a millionaire. I grew up in the slums, you see. Very, very poor. I always used to scour the pay phones for change. Everyone would tell me I was born poor and I would die poor, but I persevered.
Once I went to the circus, and the guy with the seals seemed a little drunk. My uncle always used to say how hard work is its own reward. Later that week I fell asleep on the train and woke up two stops past mine.
Then I had a job at the lost and found department. There was a bag there that nobody picked up for a very long time. After five months or so I decided to look inside, and there was a thousand dollars.
And that's how I became a millionaire.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:06 PM on June 21, 2009 [15 favorites]
--------
I WAS VERY POOR, BUT NOW I'M A MILLIONAIRE
I'm a millionaire. I grew up in the slums, you see. Very, very poor. I always used to scour the pay phones for change. Everyone would tell me I was born poor and I would die poor, but I persevered.
Once I went to the circus, and the guy with the seals seemed a little drunk. My uncle always used to say how hard work is its own reward. Later that week I fell asleep on the train and woke up two stops past mine.
Then I had a job at the lost and found department. There was a bag there that nobody picked up for a very long time. After five months or so I decided to look inside, and there was a thousand dollars.
And that's how I became a millionaire.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 3:06 PM on June 21, 2009 [15 favorites]
So next time you choose to flaunt your assumed logistic superiority in a similarly inappropriate manner, I'm just gonna go the easy route and arrange a visit from my neighborhood Crips or get TMZ to dig through your trash. As I'm sure you know quite well, that's how we all roll here. Yeah, that's right. ALL of us. Don't fuck with us, man. We'll cut you like O.J.
I respectfully request you to catch my back during the next LOLTEXAS HURF DURF thread. Also, I'll not say mean things about LA for so long as you shall live there, ML.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to beat some sense into my pathetic excuses for children, until they can grow the fuck up, get a drug addiction, overcome it, write a treacly memoir & sell a million copies in order to pay for my retirement. That, & it's Father's day, and I want them to remember it right. Families are supposed to turn to one another for pain, guilt & recrimination at special times like these.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:11 PM on June 21, 2009
I respectfully request you to catch my back during the next LOLTEXAS HURF DURF thread. Also, I'll not say mean things about LA for so long as you shall live there, ML.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to beat some sense into my pathetic excuses for children, until they can grow the fuck up, get a drug addiction, overcome it, write a treacly memoir & sell a million copies in order to pay for my retirement. That, & it's Father's day, and I want them to remember it right. Families are supposed to turn to one another for pain, guilt & recrimination at special times like these.
posted by Devils Rancher at 3:11 PM on June 21, 2009
Any time you need, just call my people, DR. We've got your back, baby. And by the way, you look marvelous! Let's do lunch sometime.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:29 PM on June 21, 2009
posted by miss lynnster at 4:29 PM on June 21, 2009
P.S. -- Watch out that they don't kill you before gaining the drug addiction and writing the memoir. Because apparently that's the order it goes sometimes.
posted by miss lynnster at 4:31 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by miss lynnster at 4:31 PM on June 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
At the five-yard line, I looked around to see if anybody was close enough to catch me. Nobody was chasing me, except Dad running full speed along the sidelines.
Maybe he had a fucked-up way of showing it, but the guy loved his son.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:36 PM on June 21, 2009
I would say something disparaging about LA right here, but I don't think it's the reason.
Unless I missed something, I think the bulk of the story (up to the father's death) took place in Boston.
The option he's angling for comes directly from LA.
posted by aladfar at 6:46 PM on June 21, 2009
Unless I missed something, I think the bulk of the story (up to the father's death) took place in Boston.
The option he's angling for comes directly from LA.
posted by aladfar at 6:46 PM on June 21, 2009
ALL newspapers feature articles about non-local subjects. I think we all can agree that's incredibly normal, yes? And we all seem to agree that this story happened in Massachusetts, is that correct? Okay, so this article was featured in the Los Angeles Times. All right. If instead of being bought by the Times, this same article was bought by the NY Times... would there have been comments about the jerkiness of New Yorkers? Or let's say it was in some Missouri paper... would this man's attitude be a reflection of the lesser intelligence of people from Appalachia? The "I Like To Talk About Hating LA Because I'm Cool If I Talk About Hating LA" thing says FAR more about you than about Los Angeles.
Filtering unnecessary hatred towards large groups of people who have done absolutely nothing to you just doesn't make you look as cool as you think. Sorry. Anyone who thinks they can stereotype nine million people as one type of inferior personality has delusions of grandeur and very little true awareness.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:07 PM on June 21, 2009
Filtering unnecessary hatred towards large groups of people who have done absolutely nothing to you just doesn't make you look as cool as you think. Sorry. Anyone who thinks they can stereotype nine million people as one type of inferior personality has delusions of grandeur and very little true awareness.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:07 PM on June 21, 2009
LA snark aside, it did sound an awful lot like a deleted chapter from Less Than Zero. Maybe I'm not the only one who picked up that vibe (I didn't notice it was from the LA Times until after the fact).
I hated it, but that had nothing to do with geography.
posted by padraigin at 8:37 PM on June 21, 2009
I hated it, but that had nothing to do with geography.
posted by padraigin at 8:37 PM on June 21, 2009
If instead of being bought by the Times, this same article was bought by the NY Times... would there have been comments about the jerkiness of New Yorkers?
Probably.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:49 PM on June 21, 2009
Probably.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:49 PM on June 21, 2009
What the hell was the woman doing while the kid was sitting there and the dad was dying on the floor?
Apparently the dad.
posted by mazola at 8:52 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Apparently the dad.
posted by mazola at 8:52 PM on June 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Probably.
Well, that would be ignorant too, then.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:44 PM on June 21, 2009
Well, that would be ignorant too, then.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:44 PM on June 21, 2009
I hated it, but that had nothing to do with geography.
I agree 100% with you there.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:46 PM on June 21, 2009
I agree 100% with you there.
posted by miss lynnster at 9:46 PM on June 21, 2009
This really has nothing whatsoever to do with LA, except that the newspaper that printed it is there.
The story appears to be excerpted from Farrell's recent book.
The story appears to be excerpted from Farrell's recent book.
The evening in question took place in Lowell in 1984, in his family's home. While his mother was recovering in the hospital from a hysterectomy, Farrell walked into his parents' kitchen and found his father, in flagrante delicto, with a neighbor. The shock of discovery sent the old man into cardiac arrest. He writhed on the floor, his face turning hellish hues of purple and black, begging his son for nitroglycerin. But Farrell simply stood there and watched him die.posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:26 AM on June 22, 2009
I wonder if he pulled up a chair?
First line of the linked article:
First line of the linked article:
I pulled a kitchen chair up next to him and watched him struggle to breathe on the floor.posted by designbot at 12:22 PM on June 22, 2009
MetaFilter: crippity cripple crip crip
posted by Scoo at 12:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Scoo at 12:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
"That night, I shot my first bag of heroin. "
Wow. So traumatised by grief that, rather than head off to the nearest booze store to get blitzed out of his skull on the good - and completely legal - stuff, he immediately went in search of a purveyor of the finest illegal drugs known to man. I wonder how long that took? Do you just wander the streets, tears pouring down your face, until some sympathetic drug dealer approaches you and offers you grief counseling of the pharmaceutical variety? Or did this guy happen to know the address of a reputable drug dealer already?
posted by kaemaril at 5:37 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
Wow. So traumatised by grief that, rather than head off to the nearest booze store to get blitzed out of his skull on the good - and completely legal - stuff, he immediately went in search of a purveyor of the finest illegal drugs known to man. I wonder how long that took? Do you just wander the streets, tears pouring down your face, until some sympathetic drug dealer approaches you and offers you grief counseling of the pharmaceutical variety? Or did this guy happen to know the address of a reputable drug dealer already?
posted by kaemaril at 5:37 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
I pulled a kitchen chair up next to him and watched him struggle to breathe on the floor.
Okay, the guy's just a jerk, period. None of it has anything to do with where he's from, he's just fucked up. With the added descriptions of the scene, I don't buy that he didn't know his dad was in cardiac arrest until "it was too late." Sounds to me like he knew full well.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:54 AM on June 23, 2009
Okay, the guy's just a jerk, period. None of it has anything to do with where he's from, he's just fucked up. With the added descriptions of the scene, I don't buy that he didn't know his dad was in cardiac arrest until "it was too late." Sounds to me like he knew full well.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:54 AM on June 23, 2009
Sounds like an Anderson Cooper bio.
posted by dasheekeejones at 7:14 AM on June 23, 2009
posted by dasheekeejones at 7:14 AM on June 23, 2009
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posted by sexyrobot at 10:14 AM on June 21, 2009 [24 favorites]