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June 22, 2009 1:05 PM   Subscribe

If you thought The Beatles' incredible success had something to do with talent, hard work, good luck or a combination of the three, you'd be wrong. It was all Satan's work.
posted by aldurtregi (127 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Here's an example of the excellent reasoning to be found in the article:

"Even though I have no specific study on the topic to object to this
date, I believe it more likely that the pact was made some days before that date. This would give the Devil time to prepare the fans for that
exaggerated reaction on December 27."

It's nice to know the Devil is bound by earthly logistics.
posted by aldurtregi at 1:06 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now it makes even more sense why horror novelist Stephen King murdered him.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:07 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Well.......they were pretty unbelievably good.....
posted by Senor Cardgage at 1:07 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


well this is just great.
posted by shmegegge at 1:09 PM on June 22, 2009


Now it makes even more sense why horror novelist Stephen King murdered him.

Even if you don't appreciate his homicide, you can't deny his contribution to popular culture. Truly an American icon.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:11 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wikipedia has a pretty good history of the "butcher cover" and resulting controversy.
posted by brain_drain at 1:12 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I knew it!
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:14 PM on June 22, 2009


So Yoko was the part where the deal the devil offered turned out to have some horrifying loophole that wasn't expected?
posted by Joe Beese at 1:15 PM on June 22, 2009 [15 favorites]


Fair enough.
posted by ob at 1:18 PM on June 22, 2009


Note: the best way to hide your pact with Satan is to paste clues and references to it all over the place.
posted by daniel_charms at 1:21 PM on June 22, 2009 [11 favorites]


Twenty years later on December 9, 1980, Mark David Chapman fired five shots from a revolver at Lennon in front of the Dakota building in New York, where Yoko and John had an apartment – on the same floor, by the way, where Rosemary’s Baby was filmed.

Tinfoil makes a hat out of this and wears it.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:21 PM on June 22, 2009 [26 favorites]


Your favorite ruler of the fiery pits of hell sucks.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:22 PM on June 22, 2009


<announcer voice>

It's the all-new game show: Deal..... with the Devil!

In which ordinary people, like you and me, attempt to bargain away their immortal souls to the Prince of Darkness for great prizes and cash!

</announcer voice>

(stolen from a Mooney's Module cartoon in the 1980s sometime.)
posted by Malor at 1:24 PM on June 22, 2009


You know who else made a pact with Satan?

A: lnɐd pǝıɹnq ı
posted by not_on_display at 1:25 PM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


in front of the Dakota building in New York

This is also the city where the events of The Catcher In The Rye took place (which, as everyone knows, is the book Chapman was found reading). Scary, I know.
posted by daniel_charms at 1:25 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


In my opinion, you have to stretch a bit some of these clues to arrive at his thesis. But putting them all together, one finds the evidence compelling and even a bit frightening.

So... you find you have to work to make the evidence fit the crime, but then you get scared at the presupposed conclusions? Talk about circular non-logic.
posted by hippybear at 1:26 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


So let me introduce to you the act you've known for all these years SATAN
posted by shakespeherian at 1:26 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Forget about the Beatles people, throw away your Liszt collection and your Berlioz before you burn in hell for an eternity!
posted by ob at 1:27 PM on June 22, 2009


No, no... it was Paul who made the pact with the devil. Proof: he fondles rams and he looks far younger than he should.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:28 PM on June 22, 2009


Sad news today: Ringo Starr has died after his submarine collided with a derailed talking locomotive.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:29 PM on June 22, 2009


You know what would be awesome?
To be the last living Beatle and to write a book telling how yes, it's true, all four of them made a Satanic pact for success.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:31 PM on June 22, 2009 [11 favorites]


Wikipedia has a pretty good history of the "butcher cover" and resulting controversy.

One of my cow-orkers has that on his wall as I type this. The demon is calling from INSIDE the building!
posted by nomisxid at 1:33 PM on June 22, 2009


I sold my soul to Satan on e-Bay, but I only shipped him a rock wrapped in bubble wrap.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:34 PM on June 22, 2009 [15 favorites]


Yes. And?
posted by The Deej at 1:36 PM on June 22, 2009


In their defense, it has at least as much logic behind it as creationism.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 1:37 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


I do find it interesting how Christians of this sort have such a non-corporeal view of these things, while at the same time denying the existence of "other powers". Obviously YHWH is the only deity that exists, while at the same time, they live in mortal fear of spell casting, believe that if you worship one of the false (non-existent) gods that you are transgressing, think that if you make the wrong hand gesture or wear the wrong pendent that you are somehow affecting your mortal soul.

Or maybe I'm interpreting all this incorrectly. Maybe they believe that ALL of these gods who have been worshiped throughout history really do exist. Perhaps their true worldview is that there is an eternal war being waged between Zeus, YHWH, Ishtar, Cthulhu, and all those other non-corporeal beings, and that you really CAN somehow accidentally hold your fingers in position X and cause some part of your unseen self to be linked to the wrong Astral thread. In which case, they need to man up and admit that YHWH isn't really all that powerful, because he is incapable of protecting anyone from inadvertent corruption, and must be begged for protection nearly constantly.

I think I fear the second mental construct more than the first. Belief in a holy war, even one not being waged upon this plane of existence, is much more dangerous than disbelief in any belief but your own.
posted by hippybear at 1:38 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow, strict constructionist Catholics who denounce ecumenicism and pour scorn upon Vatican II think the Beatles were satanic. Color me shocked!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:38 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ram-fondler!
posted by everichon at 1:41 PM on June 22, 2009


twoleftfeet: I refuse to believe anything said by Ed Melons.
posted by pinky at 1:41 PM on June 22, 2009


Its interesting, because I've done a whole lot of research on The Beatles and I've come to the frightening and eerie conclusion that they were actually agents of Pope John XXIII who commanded them to spread the world of "Love" (meaning, of course, 'Christ's Love') to a society increasingly removed from that concept.

Also, Mark David Chapman's initials are MDC, which is the Roman numeral for 1600. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the street address of The White House. Reagan had just been elected presence, signaling the true end of the "Love" era and the future president had to have Lennon, the strongest symbol of love, eliminated. He picked somebody with the initials MDC so that other hippie leaders would know who had offed Lennon and would shut the hell up lest they be killed next.

ITS ALL TRUE!
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [7 favorites]


I am Catholic and do not approve of dumping on the Beatles.
posted by jquinby at 1:49 PM on June 22, 2009


Perhaps their manager before Brian Epstein was that famous rock 'n' roll manager Mr. Lew Siffer.
posted by ignignokt at 1:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Joey Michaels: Also, Mark David Chapman's initials are MDC, which is the Roman numeral for 1600. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is the street address of The White House.

I think I love you.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]




I knew that there had to be some consequence to my repetitive listening to the entire Beatles canon, which was played ad infinitum on KRLA-AM in Los Angeles for the entire year following Lennon's murder. That still doesn't explain the effects of listening to the entire Elvis canon (also played on KRLA for a year straight following his death).
posted by blucevalo at 1:57 PM on June 22, 2009


I should also add that Satan could not possibly be responsible for a band as awesome as the Beatles. Satan did, however, make Neil Diamond a star, and is channeling messages to the Jonas Brothers' manager.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:59 PM on June 22, 2009


boo. whatever
posted by longsleeves at 2:01 PM on June 22, 2009


Everyone knows all the best rock bands are aligned with Satan.
posted by spilon at 2:01 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Mariisa with the obscure song reference or whatever.
posted by longsleeves at 2:02 PM on June 22, 2009


Especially Metallica.
posted by longsleeves at 2:04 PM on June 22, 2009


Since I threw out my Beatles albums along with the rest of my rock music many years ago, I’ve been gathering facts about the clues and signs of a Satanic link, evidence of camaraderie with occultists and their dabbling with the occult.

Wouldn't it be hard to do research on items you no longer possessed?

The "ok" sign is actually three 6's, each of the three vertical fingers forming an individual 6. 666!

Thanks twoleftfeet, I will now cross myself whenever faced with that hippie/satan sign.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:05 PM on June 22, 2009


It's all good guys, one of the guys from the Stone Roses is the Second Coming of Christ. He'll keep us safe.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:06 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is all my fault. I was on an international flight in the 1970s when I told the religious leader sitting next to me on the plane that I was Mick Jagger and that all of my music was created with the intent to persuade young people to follow Satan. It has sort of blown out of proportion. My bad.
posted by The World Famous at 2:08 PM on June 22, 2009


No wonder Ram is so awesome.
posted by basicchannel at 2:09 PM on June 22, 2009


Metafilter: Desperate enough to sell its soul to the Devil.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 2:09 PM on June 22, 2009


longsleeves: "boo. whatever"

oh, no. leave me out of this.
posted by boo_radley at 2:16 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Reagan had just been elected presence

I love it when typos make way more (internal) sense than the intended verbiage. Also: Dr. Robert was a late-term abortionist. That is all.
posted by joe lisboa at 2:19 PM on June 22, 2009


Maybe they believe that ALL of these gods who have been worshiped throughout history really do exist.

It would be foolish to try to say what "Christians of this sort" believe, since there is a bewildering variety of them. But I think a big chunk of them believe that all the other religions and alleged gods outside of Christianity are deceits worked by Satan and his demons.

Rock Music and all the various other related cultural artifacts these people fear are thought to be tools the demons use in whatever spiritual tug-of-war they imagine that causes some people to be Christians (or "Real Christians") and others not.
posted by straight at 2:20 PM on June 22, 2009


Click around on their other pages; they hate pretty much everything.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:23 PM on June 22, 2009


For example, the album cover of The Beatles Yesterday and Today, released in 1966, may say nothing about Lennon’s death, but it literally shouts that the so-called Fab Four were involved in Satanism.

That could only be the work of Satan. Please alert me if the album also begins to twist.
What is wrong with people?
posted by heyho at 2:23 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


What is wrong with people?

I literally - literally! - blame Vice President Biden.
posted by joe lisboa at 2:26 PM on June 22, 2009


Rock, rock, rock, rock with the rock.

Also: haw haw.
posted by MrMoonPie at 2:28 PM on June 22, 2009


I went to a Christian high school. For an essay in my 11th grade English class, we got an extra 10% in bonus points if we wrote about a topic "from a Christian perspective." I chose rock music. I did a great deal of research, reading numerous lunatic books which claimed, variously, that rock music was Satanic, worldly, and openly harmful to one's health. (I.E. that syncopation in the beats of the song would cause your heart to skip.)

I basically wrote ten pages of laughing hysterically at the sheer nonsense, then wrapped it up with a point that while many songs did indeed glorify extramarital sex and drug use and violence, there was nothing in the music itself that had anything to do with that. My conclusion was a recommendation that Christian music try to stop sucking and then someone who was shaky enough in their faith that hearing a song about drugs would upset them could listen to actual decent music instead.

I got an A+.
posted by Scattercat at 2:33 PM on June 22, 2009 [9 favorites]


Would I suggest reading the book?

No, for Catholics who already realize rock music is bad. It isn’t worth the time.


Well, that covers pretty much everyone on this site. Now here's a stupid crash.
posted by philip-random at 2:35 PM on June 22, 2009


Why don't we [worship Satan] in the road?

Hey Jud[as]

Here Comes The [Beast]

I Want to Tell You [That I Sold My Soul to the Devil]
posted by kosem at 2:38 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


'Are you a mod or a rocker?'

'No, I'm a Satanist.'
posted by shakespeherian at 2:40 PM on June 22, 2009


Not even the best conspiracy theory about the Beatles (Paul is dead!)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:41 PM on June 22, 2009


Satan came in through the bathroom window.
posted by blucevalo at 2:41 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


All You Need Is Love (For Your Supreme Lord and Master, Satan)
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:41 PM on June 22, 2009


I get by with a little help from Satan.
posted by blucevalo at 2:44 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I Wanna Hold You Hand, Satan.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:46 PM on June 22, 2009


You see? Satan's influence is screwing up my possessive pronouns.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:46 PM on June 22, 2009


Satan singing in the dead of night.
posted by blucevalo at 2:48 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


"but if you go carrying pictures of High Lord Satan, ain't nobody going to resist your evil music anyhow"
posted by hippybear at 2:48 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Lucy in Satan with Demons
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:50 PM on June 22, 2009


You had a chance to say Lucifer in the Sky with Diamonds. Satan has many fortunately comical names.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Lucifer's Silver Hammer
posted by box at 2:52 PM on June 22, 2009


Why don't we do it in Satan?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:54 PM on June 22, 2009


Twist and Shout ("Satan Is Awesome!")
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:55 PM on June 22, 2009


Mean Mr. Mephistopheles
posted by box at 2:55 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Revolution #666
posted by box at 2:55 PM on June 22, 2009


Hey, Lucifer Bill, what did you kill, Lucifer Bill?
posted by blucevalo at 2:56 PM on June 22, 2009


Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey






Satan!
posted by mazola at 2:57 PM on June 22, 2009


Really? Still with this? Did you try adjusting your medication?
posted by gallois at 3:00 PM on June 22, 2009


I Want You (She's So Evil)
posted by box at 3:01 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who sold his soul
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to chant
Cuz he could not reca-ant

He prayed to Satan in his car
He didn't notice that his life had changed
A crowd of demons heard his prayers
Nobody could really say if he was just Anton LeVay
posted by shakespeherian at 3:01 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Sexy Satan
posted by box at 3:02 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


His Supreme Dark Majesty's a pretty hot guy,
but he doesn't have a lot to say.
His Supreme Dark Majesty's a pretty hot guy
but he changes from day to day.
I want to tell him that I grovel at his hooves
But I gotta snort a little PCP and jump out a window and freak out until Keyboard Cat plays me off to Hall & Oats, (well, well, well...)
His Supreme Dark Majesty's a pretty hot guy
Someday I'm going to go to Hell ,oh yeah,
someday I'm going to go to Hell.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:03 PM on June 22, 2009 [13 favorites]


"Even though I have no specific study on the topic to object to this
date, I believe it more likely that the pact was made some days before that date. This would give the Devil time to prepare the fans for that
exaggerated reaction on December 27."


That was what i was going to refrence too.

The local cable access channel would show this series of christian videos from the 1980's hosted by a guy with a brown white go fro and silly moustache talking about how backwords tracking or whatever was the artist real soul coming through and there was also one about yoga and how doing yoga for any reason was actually praying to a different, and therefore evil, god.

It was great, just like this. I would read the book, if it didn't mean giving a crackpot money.

probably just waste it on crack anyway.
posted by djduckie at 3:06 PM on June 22, 2009


What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?

Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.

Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?

Well, I wasn't usin' it.
posted by brevator at 3:12 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Hey, Lucifer Bill, what did you kill, Lucifer Bill?

It's Lucifer Sam, not Lucifer Bill. Sheesh.
posted by The World Famous at 3:16 PM on June 22, 2009


Here Comes The Satan

...hopefully he'll lend me a dollar
posted by waraw at 3:17 PM on June 22, 2009


A well-meaning but far to Jebus-ified co-worker actually snuck a VHS copy of Hell's Bells into my car one day. I know who did it, but never bothered to confront him about it. I really need to hook up all the electronics so I can pull audio clips to turn into dance-hall anthems. It's a goldmine, believe me.

(And please, don't get that confused with Hell's Belles, which is something else entirely.)
posted by hippybear at 3:19 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Happiness is a warm, yes it is... Sataaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:19 PM on June 22, 2009


I tried to sell my soul to Satan one time. He said, and I quote:

Meh.

Fecking jackass.
posted by nosila at 3:19 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


The soul market busted back in 2008.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:21 PM on June 22, 2009


While Your So-Called "God" Gently Weeps

Let it Be(elzebub)
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Dr. Robert was a late-term abortionist.

While this might be disturbing enough on it's own, consider that "Dr. Robert" is also nearly identical to another song on the album, "Taxman." The implications of the tax-man character can be staggering enough, but with what we know of Lennon's hellish pact, it becomes clear that the song is a long reference to Satan returning one day to "take it all" (Lennon's soul.) This is all interesting enough even before the Taxman=Dr. Robert revelation, which cements the truth that Satan is, in fact, a late-term abortionist, a fact Lennon clearly had special knowledge of.
posted by Navelgazer at 3:26 PM on June 22, 2009


Also: Being for the Benefit of Our Dark Lord Satan
posted by Navelgazer at 3:28 PM on June 22, 2009


Let it Beelzebub?
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:28 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


But Lyndon LaRouche says that the Beatles were a British psychological warfare operation.
posted by champthom at 3:28 PM on June 22, 2009


I liked checking out their other reviews like Marisa suggested.

Here's an excerpt from their review of the movie Chocolat, entitled "A Chocolat Laced with Poison":

"... it promotes everything we’re fighting: feminism, new age magic, uncontrolled spontaneity, limitless freedom, diversity, tolerance, inclusiveness, you name it."

Ugh, these are the same types of people who like going to Latin Mass "because it's more traditional." Nothing like the days when common people weren't allowed to understand what they worshiped.
posted by JauntyFedora at 3:30 PM on June 22, 2009


The soul market busted in 2008.

That was only because their value had been artificially inflated. It could have sustained itself with tighter regulations and oversight. But no, Satan had to dig in his hooves and insist the market could sort itself. And now we'll be covering his losses because he's "too big to let fail." What a jackass.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:35 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Satan is, in fact, a late-term abortionist, a fact Lennon clearly had special knowledge of.

Limbaugh and O'Reilly seem to have the same arcane knowledge.
posted by hippybear at 3:37 PM on June 22, 2009


That was only because their value had been artificially inflated. It could have sustained itself with tighter regulations and oversight. But no, Satan had to dig in his hooves and insist the market could sort itself. And now we'll be covering his losses because he's "too big to let fail." What a jackass.

TARP* will fix it.

*Terrible Angel Recovery Program
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:43 PM on June 22, 2009


It was all Satan's work.

Except "Don't Pass Me By". Ringo really did write that.
posted by mazola at 3:44 PM on June 22, 2009


Same difference.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


it promotes everything we’re fighting: ... uncontrolled spontaneity

Dear God no! Anything but uncontrolled spontaneity!

I blame Satan's shock troops, the Manic Pixie Dream Girls.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 3:47 PM on June 22, 2009


Seems to me that Satans been kicking out some pretty sweet jams over the years.
posted by Sargas at 4:05 PM on June 22, 2009


I love this thread.
posted by nosila at 4:06 PM on June 22, 2009


The devil went down to Mersey, he was lookin' for a soul to steal.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:16 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


a VHS copy of Hell's Bells into my car one day

I saw this as a teenager on a church trip. The big controversy in my youth group at the time was Amy Grant's crossover album (oh noes! she doesn't mention Christ!).

So the youth group leaders pull out Hell's Bells to show us the dangers of rock music. I don't think I had heard of any of the bands, and most were Ozzy-wannabes, if I remember correctly. Bands with a Satanist shtick. After we watched it, I was like, "can I still listen to U2?"

Hey! There's a Hell's Bells II!
posted by jeoc at 4:20 PM on June 22, 2009


jeoc: he actually dropped the VHS in my car as a response to his and my discussion about him LOVING the Beach Boys and not being able to stand the Beatles. Which made no sense to me whatsoever. I think he buys into the entire Lennon/Satan connection to, but doesn't think that the Beach Boys are at all inspired by the Dark Arts. The Beatles are certainly mentioned in that film, and the Beach Boys aren't...
posted by hippybear at 4:30 PM on June 22, 2009


If you thought The Beatles' incredible success had something to do with talent, hard work, good luck or a combination of the three, you'd be wrong.

Definitely.

It had everything to do with George Martin.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:35 PM on June 22, 2009


You align yourself with Satan and you end up sounding like The Beatles? Man, all those metal bands are going to be pissed.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 4:38 PM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


It was forty years ago today,
That Satan taught the band to play.
Now they're opening his elevator
But they're guaranteed to tweak the haterz.
So may I introduce to you
Those geriatric innovators:
Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old Farts Club Band.

We're Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old Farts Club Band,
We hope you will enjoy the song.
We're Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old Farts Club Band,
We hope the drugs will last that long.
Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old, Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old,
Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old Farts Club Band.
It's wonderful to be here,
Or anywhere at all.
We don't remember how to get there, but,
We'd like to take you to the home with us,
We'd love to take you to the home.

I don't really want to stop the show,
But Ringo really has to go.
Then the singer's going to sing a song,
And he wants you all to sing along.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only B.L. Z. Bub
And Satan's Pop Rock Zone Old Farts Club Band.

B.L. Z. Bub
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:40 PM on June 22, 2009


Malcolm Gladwell says that the Beatles were a success because they peformed 1200 times in the strip clubs of Hamburg.

But as everyone on Metafilter knows, Malcolm Gladwell is himself the devil, so he would say that.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:42 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


The big controversy in my youth group at the time was Amy Grant's crossover album (oh noes! she doesn't mention Christ!).

Satan, Satan
No muscle man could sever
My love for you is true and it will never
Stop for a minute
Satan, I'm so glad you're mine
posted by blucevalo at 4:44 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


They way things are goin'
They're going to crucify me upside-down
posted by shakespeherian at 4:47 PM on June 22, 2009


Well I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or I won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl

Well you know that I'm a wicked guy
And I was born with a jealous mind
And I can't spend my whole life
Trying just to make you toe the line

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl

Let this be a sermon
I mean everything I've said
Baby, I'm determined
And I'd rather see you dead

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl

I'd rather see you dead, little girl
Than to be with another man
You better keep your head, little girl
Or you won't know where I am

You better run for your life if you can, little girl
Hide your head in the sand little girl
Catch you with another man
That's the end'a little girl
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na
Na, na, na

Hail Satan!
posted by box at 4:52 PM on June 22, 2009


Why do I sense the next MeFi Music challenge is forming right here, before our eyes?
posted by hippybear at 4:56 PM on June 22, 2009


Actually, hippybear, the next one will be a massive covering of the entire album The Velvet Underground & Nico.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:04 PM on June 22, 2009


Wasn't "Yesterday" an elegy for Aleister Crowley or something like that?
posted by acb at 5:25 PM on June 22, 2009


Abaddon,
All my troubles seemed to be long gone,
Now every misery drags on and on,
Oh, I believe in Abaddon.

Blasphemy!
Now I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's my entrails hanging out of me,
Oh, Abaddon deconstructed me.

Why I
Had to fry I don't know, it was just a song.
I signed,
Something wrong, now I cry for Abaddon.

Abaddon,
All the kids I chased are all long gone,
Now I don't even have a lawn,
Oh, I believe in Abaddon.

Why I
Had to fry I don't know, it was just a song.
I signed,
Something wrong, now I cry for Abaddon.

Abaddon,
All the kids I chased are all long gone,
Now I don't even have a lawn,
Oh, I believe in Abaddon.

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:27 PM on June 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


Don't play cards with Satan / He'll deal you an awful hand
posted by joe lisboa at 5:44 PM on June 22, 2009


As a recovering metal kid (and lapsed Catholic), is there any way I can petition the mods to permit multiple favoriting of Uther Bentrazor's comment? Also:

Lovely Shiva, heathen-bait: nothing can conquer Jesus. When it gets dark I gnaw your heart away.
posted by joe lisboa at 5:56 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


oh for christ's sake.
posted by msconduct at 6:22 PM on June 22, 2009


I encourage everyone to explore this linked website further. There are gems such as Don't sit on stair steps, as in "We should avoid taking such indignified stances and ludicrous positions, since we are Catholics, not Indians, Muslims or Buddhists.Find a chair or a bench and sit properly. Do not sit on steps.." And then there is This picture of bride and groom hats.

Also, the background to the site is awesome somehow.
posted by fuq at 6:44 PM on June 22, 2009


Here Comes Cthulu?
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:18 PM on June 22, 2009


Maxwell's Silver Hammerpants

hammerpants are satanic, right?
posted by waraw at 7:25 PM on June 22, 2009


Is Satan bigger than Jesus?
posted by HylandErickson at 8:53 PM on June 22, 2009


Well, I guess they really knew what they were talking about, then, when they sang "she's got the devil in her heart".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:57 PM on June 22, 2009


The Southern Poverty Law Center adds some interesting context.

Marian Horvat.
posted by speedo at 10:10 PM on June 22, 2009


Everybody knows the devil has the market on all the good music.
posted by dasheekeejones at 7:08 AM on June 23, 2009


As much as I believe in my faith and the fact that Satan and hell exist um WHAT? Seriously? The beetles? Yeah that's what I think about when I think Satanism. I think the beetles are an excellent rock band with great music. They started playing at a time when songs like "How much is that doggy in the window" were top sellers. Of course something that is a little edgy and new for its time is going to be a big deal. People get tired of the same old shit on a different day you know. Also mix in a good dose of drugs and BAM! You have people seeing things and hearing voices.

Ok fine.... Me/ puts on tin foil hat:

It does fit Satan's M.O. to slide under the radar with something that feels non-threatening. You listen to the Beetles and there is nothing clearing evil about it. It's just a good beat and good lyrics. It is still very secular and has nothing to do with religion. It's target is not people who do not go to church regularly but those that do every Sunday. See Satan figures that he already has the non-church going souls and needs to branch out to others sort of like his Jaguar/BMW/Cadillac line. But this thinking goes along the line that Santa and Puff the Magic Dragon are works of Satan as well. Then again I am not putting anything past the most evil force that existence has ever known.

Me/. takes off tin foil hat.

Anyways I have a hard day and night ahead of me. I'm sure I'll be working like a dog. I hope when I get home, I will feel alright.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:59 AM on June 23, 2009


Oh this brings back memories of being 14 in a fundie Christian school and some guy was brought in to do a rock music seminar, with the usual blather and even Journey was held up as something deeply and inherently evil.

But I personally prefer this somewhat different perspective.

The Beatles were just front men and the music was made by their Communist masters, in white lab coats, as a glorious psyops plan to destroy the West. Not sure if George Martin ever wore a white lab coat, but somehow it all makes sense.
posted by pandaharma at 10:53 AM on June 23, 2009


pandaharma: Journey was held up as something deeply and inherently evil.

Now this I agree with.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:56 AM on June 23, 2009


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