Runaway Gov
June 22, 2009 5:32 PM   Subscribe

First lady Jenny Sanford told The Associated Press Monday that her husband [South Carolina governor and presidential hopeful Mark Sanford] has been gone for several days and she did not know where. She said she was not concerned.

The office of Lt. Governor Andre Bauer, who serves in the governor's absence, says they have contacted him and "he's fine." But the governor's staff won't confirm that report.
posted by msalt (1050 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
My money is on an out-of-state lover.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:33 PM on June 22, 2009 [18 favorites]


Language Log on the phrase "Out of Pocket".
posted by null terminated at 5:34 PM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


Cocaine.
posted by The Straightener at 5:34 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Yeah, this is all kinds of crazy. He's either with a mistress or seeking medical attention for substance abuse or psychiatric reasons. I'd probably go with the latter as there are far better ways to hook up with your side dish.
posted by Justinian at 5:34 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Sanford left the governor's mansion in a black SUV last Thursday. His last known location was somewhere near Atlanta, where a cell phone signal was traced. He then turned off his phone and didn't respond to various calls and emails until today. Neither his office nor the State Law Enforcement Division (which provides his security) knew of his whereabouts.
posted by msalt at 5:38 PM on June 22, 2009


ya know, this might well be a non-event.... there really doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is anything going on here beyond "hey, I need a break!"
posted by HuronBob at 5:39 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


twitter.com/MarkSanford
posted by R. Mutt at 5:39 PM on June 22, 2009


His real name is Dick Whitman.
posted by mattdidthat at 5:40 PM on June 22, 2009 [29 favorites]


The shadow government needs to replace his nuclear battery core.
posted by GuyZero at 5:40 PM on June 22, 2009


He was last heard clutching his chest and shouting, "I'm coming to join you, Elizabeth!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:43 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


ya know, this might well be a non-event.... there really doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is anything going on here beyond "hey, I need a break!"

The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to Vegas in a Chevy Impala with a trunk full of booze and LSD whenever you feel like it, without telling your security detail, family (on father's day), lieutenant governor, or basically anyone in state government where the fuck you are going.
posted by Justinian at 5:44 PM on June 22, 2009 [42 favorites]


"The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to Vegas in a Chevy Impala with a trunk full of booze and LSD whenever you feel like it, without telling your security detail, family (on father's day), lieutenant governor, or basically anyone in state government where the fuck you are going."

well, damn, I guess you're right... but, that's not what happened....
posted by HuronBob at 5:46 PM on June 22, 2009


What is the world coming to when a man can't spend time in the wilderness, praying?
posted by R. Mutt at 5:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


It sounds like someone was planning on blackmailing him and he's going to beat them to the press. He's either gay, cheating on his wife, has a drug and alcohol problem or all of the above.
posted by stavrogin at 5:48 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe he's just lost and refuses to ask for directions.
posted by brundlefly at 5:50 PM on June 22, 2009 [14 favorites]


Of course he doesn't want anyone to know where he is! He's clearly trying to return the One Ring of Power to the fiery lake in Mount Doom whence...

Oh wait, that was another fictional character.
posted by darkstar at 5:50 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I mean, he is Republican after all. Ignorance is a virtue.
posted by brundlefly at 5:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


"It sounds like someone was planning on blackmailing him and he's going to beat them to the press. He's either gay, cheating on his wife, has a drug and alcohol problem or all of the above."

Along with the $5 fee, was there some sort of overactive imagination test that had to be passed to join the meta...'cuz I missed that part...
posted by HuronBob at 5:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


I moved to SC a couple of months ago and the politics are entertaining! What kind of dad of four -sons, no less- hides out on daddy day. These peeps are weird!
posted by mareli at 5:51 PM on June 22, 2009


He's Republican. What LGBT events are going on in Atlanta?
posted by Flunkie at 5:53 PM on June 22, 2009 [14 favorites]


He did have an essay published in the Post and Courier newspaper yesterday.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:54 PM on June 22, 2009


Guys, guys, he's right, there's no reason for this reckless speculation. Governor Sanford clearly just went for a long ride atop his trusty steed, Snuffleupagus.
posted by The Straightener at 5:55 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's the fact that he is still tweeting that makes this truly bizarre.
posted by mek at 6:00 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


ya know, this might well be a non-event.... there really doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is anything going on here beyond "hey, I need a break!"

Agreed. Unless we have audio from the press conference, we don't even really know that he's missing!
posted by DU at 6:02 PM on June 22, 2009


I'm all for public figures keeping stuff private, but Sanford has been actively positioning himself to run for the Republican nomination as a far right candidate in 2012 -- rejecting stimulus money, for examples -- and it just feels odd.

For one thing, if this is standard behavior, why was his cellphone signal traced? And why not tell your wife, 'Honey, I need a couple days to clear my head, I'll call you Monday?"
posted by msalt at 6:03 PM on June 22, 2009


I'd wager those tweets are coming from a staffer.
posted by brain_drain at 6:04 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'd wager those tweets are coming from a staffer.

Or Eliza. How hard can it be to post a Hannity name-check or vague anti-economics statement every 4 hours? Better yet, just cat gop_tpm.doc | head -1 | twitter
posted by DU at 6:06 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


What he doesn't realize is that if he just clicks his heels together three times then poof! he'll materialize on the State House steps. He's had the power to go home all along.

(Or, yeah, maybe it's the other kind of poof.)
posted by XMLicious at 6:10 PM on June 22, 2009


Or the tweets could have been set up to tweet at an interval. One of my accounts will tweet for months after I go into hiding.

I am so hoping it's another Joseph Force Crater.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:10 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Blackmail.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:13 PM on June 22, 2009


Governor Sanford clearly just went for a long ride atop his trusty steed, Snuffleupagus.

So is it safe to presume I'm the only one who immediately thought of The Neverending Story upon reading this, despite the explicit muppet reference? Yes? Well then, carry on.
posted by joe lisboa at 6:14 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Maybe he's tweeting ... from beyond the grave!

Or his mobile phone/pda of choice, on his way to Mexico.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:17 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


This guy is the Lt. Governor?
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:19 PM on June 22, 2009


As a South Carolinian who has gotten to see this guy up close for years, I can vouch for the fact that you should all pray he gets the 2012 Republican nomination. He has the intellectual firepower of Sarah Palin, the even-keeled realism of Ron Paul and the charisma of Bobby Jindal.
posted by ND¢ at 6:19 PM on June 22, 2009 [33 favorites]


The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to [etc.] whenever you feel like it, without telling your security detail, family (on father's day), lieutenant governor, or basically anyone in state government where the fuck you are going.

I dunno. I think this would have been perfectly normal as recently as a generation ago. I certainly found it odd or at least unusual that New Jersey found it necessary to formally install its Senate President as Acting Governor for very short absences of the real Guv (on several occasions recently). But then that may underscore your point, as it's my impression this is to some extent a post-9/11 "homeland security duties" thing.
posted by dhartung at 6:21 PM on June 22, 2009


Now that you mention it, joe, there is a certain resemblance.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:25 PM on June 22, 2009


Gov. Stanford's been awfully vocal about not taking stimulus money. If he's off on an expensive vacation, it wouldn't look too good.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:26 PM on June 22, 2009


I heard he is off to have his illegitimate child at a private facility. He's been hiding his pregnancy pretty well.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:26 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's worth mentioning also this isn't wholly unusual elsewhere...
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:27 PM on June 22, 2009


BE THE FIRST TO KNOW
posted by shoesfullofdust at 6:29 PM on June 22, 2009


It may be a whole lotta nothing, but I sure hope not. We're overdue by a week or so for yet another potential 2012 Republican presidential frontrunner fall from grace.
posted by blucevalo at 6:31 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Deeply weird. I'm just wondering what his exit strategy is.
posted by EarBucket at 6:35 PM on June 22, 2009


Now that you mention it, joe, there is a certain resemblance.

Sanford = Atreyu?
Snuffleupagus = Falkor?

I managed to confuse myself (again), but I appreciate the second.
posted by joe lisboa at 6:35 PM on June 22, 2009


If his wife is so blase (no know how to make accent, dammit), she knew what was up or she didn't give a damn. Because if my spouse was gone for 12 hours, I'd be frantic if I couldn't reach him. Or even 8. I'd be calling friends and the cops and hospitals, because it would be so fucking weird for him to just disappear. Who does that?
posted by emjaybee at 6:35 PM on June 22, 2009 [10 favorites]


For a politician to be "out of pocket" would imply that he was previously IN a pocket. Given the party, the state and current events, I'm guessing either Big Tobacco or Big Insurance.
posted by DU at 6:36 PM on June 22, 2009


posted by emjaybee Who does that?

Mark Sanford.
posted by mattdidthat at 6:37 PM on June 22, 2009


Ever notice how the SC flag has an ISLAMIC crescent? He's obviously an Iranian sleeper agent and has been called back help smash the uprising.
posted by delmoi at 6:37 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


You gotta be a spirit, you can't be no ghost.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:39 PM on June 22, 2009


Because if my spouse was gone for 12 hours, I'd be frantic if I couldn't reach him.

A couple weeks ago, I'd have agreed. Luckily, now I have multiple spouses, so I might not even notice that quickly if one of them disappeared.
posted by inigo2 at 6:39 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


She didn't say "she wasn't worried". What she said was "I couldn't care less where that lying, posturing sack is."*



*Note: wife's answer dramatized for effect.
posted by darkstar at 6:40 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's not that odd that he kinda, sorta disappeared.

What's odd is that he has to know by know that he absence is being missed, yet hasn't said anything. That's the weird shit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:41 PM on June 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


First Ensign, now this -- who will be the next 2012 GOP hopeful to shoot himself (or herself) in the foot?
posted by aaronetc at 6:44 PM on June 22, 2009


Aw, look at South Carolina making a play for "Most Embarrassing State Government." sorry, kids, but you're still well behind New York, New Jersey, California, and Illinois at least.
posted by Epenthesis at 6:45 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


What's odd is that he has to know by know that he absence is being missed, yet hasn't said anything. That's the weird shit.

He's dead. He's in a hotel room, hanging upside down from the ceiling in a wetsuit and handcuffs with a dildo stuffed down his throat. There's no way he's still alive and hasn't surfaced by now.
posted by EarBucket at 6:46 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


He's dead. He's in a hotel room, hanging upside down from the ceiling in a wetsuit and handcuffs with a dildo stuffed down his throat. There's no way he's still alive and hasn't surfaced by now.

RIP, Governor Carradine.
posted by joe lisboa at 6:47 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to Vegas in a Chevy Impala with a trunk full of booze and LSD whenever you feel like it, without telling your security detail, family (on father's day), lieutenant governor, or basically anyone in state government where the fuck you are going.

But you'd have my vote.
posted by mattholomew at 6:47 PM on June 22, 2009 [10 favorites]


He's a Manchurian Candidate, and he has to disappear once a year for several days of reconditioning and reinforcement from his North Korean masters. Nothing to worry about, happens every year. Sanford 2012!
posted by jamstigator at 6:50 PM on June 22, 2009


ummm, I just read the story and I think it's been updated...

But Sanford's office told the lieutenant governor's office Monday afternoon that Sanford has been reached and he is fine, said Frank Adams, head of Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer’s office on aging.

Neither the governor’s office nor the State Law Enforcement Division, which provides security for governors, had been able to reach Sanford after he left the mansion Thursday in a black SLED Suburban SUV, said Sen. Jake Knotts and three others familiar with the situation but declined to be identified.

Sanford’s last known whereabouts had been near Atlanta because a mobile telephone tower picked up a signal from his phone, authorities said. His office now knows where he is, Adams said.

posted by drjimmy11 at 6:50 PM on June 22, 2009


The article says he's taken time away from his family to "write something." Maybe the great American novel?
posted by jdfan at 6:52 PM on June 22, 2009


For a politician to be "out of pocket" would imply that he was previously IN a pocket. Given the party, the state and current events, I'm guessing either Big Tobacco or Big Insurance.

You may be right about both of those, but Sanford is first and foremost bought and paid for by Howard Rich. Why would a New York Libertarian donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to South Carolina politicians? South Carolina politicians are cheaper.
posted by ND¢ at 6:56 PM on June 22, 2009


But Sanford's office told the lieutenant governor's office Monday afternoon that Sanford has been reached and he is fine, said Frank Adams, head of Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer’s office on aging.

But interestingly, the governor's office is refusing to confirm that report. And State Senator Jake Knotts, a Republican, says: "I was recently made aware that Governor Sanford has frequently been eluding SLED agents and disappearing at odd times." Sounds very fishy.
posted by EarBucket at 6:58 PM on June 22, 2009


He was found trapped nude with a dryer on his head.
posted by soft and hardcore taters at 6:58 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


http://www.bloggernews.net/121339
posted by spock at 7:02 PM on June 22, 2009


Jakes Knotts hates Sanford's guts. He contemplated a primary challenge recently and has called him out for being a Libertarian rather than a Republican. Howard Rich paid for a candidate to challenge Knotts in his primary instead.
posted by ND¢ at 7:05 PM on June 22, 2009


Jenny Sanford said the governor said he needed time away from their children to write something.

"'So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.' Great line, great line! Nice writin', Tex! Question is, do I put it at the beginning... or the end?"

*pauses*

*rips the piece of paper out of the old Underwood, crumples it and drops it to the floor, where it joins a veritable blizzard of others*


"Let's try this one on for size... 'We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..."'"
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:06 PM on June 22, 2009


Just read the blog post at spock's link; quite a para here:
Those who are questioning the Governors absence loudest, seem to ignore the fact in the age of Internet and blackberry, Public servants can address the people’s business from just about anywhere you can boot a laptop. If the Governor were truly “missing” in the sense implied by some in the media, his security detail would have already alerted the appropriate federal and State agencies.
It's like an ignorance-and-naivete burrito, wrapped up so tightly together.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:14 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Go back to sleep, Citizen. Nothing to see here.
posted by DU at 7:16 PM on June 22, 2009


Oh and I forgot to mention that Mark Sanford once carried two live pigs into the South Carolina Statehouse as a publicity stunt.
posted by ND¢ at 7:16 PM on June 22, 2009


He's laying low while the Emperor's Sardaukar scour the state for him. He will reappear in Arizona with an army of Fremen, and will bring to culmination the dream of a thousand generations, a united GOP... It is said.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:17 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Despite the delicious schadenfreude that I would feel if the governor were found, say, hog-tied in a leather gimp suit with a dildo hanging out of his ass, the most mediocre explanation is probably the correct one: He wanted some time away from everything so he packed up and left for a few days.

I guess the real outrage for me is that most of us normal human beings really can't do that on a whim. If I decided that I was super stressed and needed a few days to myself, I could just turn off my cellphone, pack up and drive to Atlanta, but I probably would not have a job when I got back. It kinda makes me mad that someone who is supposedly a public "servant" can take random vacations whenever they want while the vast majority of his constituents slave from paycheck to paycheck and are usually forced to merge their vacation days with their sick days.
posted by Avenger at 7:21 PM on June 22, 2009 [8 favorites]


According to Jake Tapper, Sanford's spokesman says the governor is hiking the Appalachian Trail. Seems like a strange thing to do over Father's Day weekend without letting your wife and kids know, but politicians have done weirder things.
posted by EarBucket at 7:28 PM on June 22, 2009


He probably just disappeared into the past in a UFO, which is really . . . yeah, you got it . . . a time machine.
posted by stargell at 7:32 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


On the other hand, I have a hard time imagining any sane person setting out along the Appalachian Trail by himself without letting anyone know where he was going. Even if he weren't the governor of a state, there are a hundred things that could happen to him out there. He could get mugged, he could break his ankle, he could get mauled by a bear, he could get lost, he could get sick. . .it's insanely irresponsible of him, even ignoring the fact that he's the chief executive of the state government. It's almost Blagojevichian in its hubris.
posted by EarBucket at 7:38 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Hiking the Appalachian trail, and didn't tell anyone?

Not only is he a suck ass governor. He doesn't know thing one about hiking.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:47 PM on June 22, 2009 [7 favorites]


"Because if my spouse was gone for 12 hours, I'd be frantic if I couldn't reach him. Or even 8. I'd be calling friends and the cops and hospitals, because it would be so fucking weird for him to just disappear. Who does that?"

Well if I decided to take a break for a weekend I wouldn't feel compelled to update my whereabouts to my wife three times a day. I'd let her know where I was going but she might not hear from me a gain until I got back. However I also don't have a cell phone so YMMV.
posted by Mitheral at 7:52 PM on June 22, 2009


You're all going to feel really embarrassed when it turns out that he's the only person who's been raptured. Right around when the moon turns to blood but before Obama calls upon the zombie fly horde he's been amassing for years.
posted by shadytrees at 7:54 PM on June 22, 2009 [12 favorites]


He has to keep moving from town to town so Jack McGee doesn't uncover the secret of the raging spirit that dwells within him.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:55 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Aw, look at South Carolina making a play for "Most Embarrassing State Government." sorry, kids, but you're still well behind New York, New Jersey, California, and Illinois at least. Hey! Don't forget us down here in Louisiana, what with Kenneth the Page as Guv and my former Congressman on trial.
posted by govtdrone at 7:56 PM on June 22, 2009


Cognitive dissonance. The man was simply too intelligent to reconcile reality with the GOP party line, and just ...snapped! He's hunched over a never-empty coffee pot in an IHOP somewhere, rocking gently back and forth while muttering under his breath.
posted by drinkyclown at 8:00 PM on June 22, 2009


posted by Epenthesis Aw, look at South Carolina making a play for "Most Embarrassing State Government." sorry, kids, but you're still well behind New York, New Jersey, California, and Illinois at least.

You forgot Alaska.
posted by mattdidthat at 8:02 PM on June 22, 2009


Avenger -

No insult tended to you or your job, but how many people stand to be negatively impacted if you go a little pearshaped at work? A whole state? Although I do find some governmental behaviors frustrating, a sense of scale helps also.
posted by Samizdata at 8:06 PM on June 22, 2009


Oh and I forgot to mention that Mark Sanford once carried two live pigs into the South Carolina Statehouse as a publicity stunt.

I heard about that. Didn't one of the pigs crap all over him when he did that? Ah yes, all over his coat and shoes. Nice metaphor there, Sanford!
posted by darkstar at 8:07 PM on June 22, 2009


MetaFilter: It's like an ignorance-and-naivete burrito, wrapped up so tightly together.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:07 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to Vegas in a Chevy Impala with a trunk full of booze and LSD whenever you feel like it, without telling your security detail, family (on father's day), lieutenant governor, or basically anyone in state government where the fuck you are going.

Tuesday to do list:

1. Fire exploratory committee.
2.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:42 PM on June 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Everyone's overlooking the obvious: UFO abduction!
posted by SPrintF at 8:42 PM on June 22, 2009


GOVERNOR MARK SANFORD! You've been selling out your constituents in order to jockey for national public office! You have one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation, and your fighting against federal funds to create jobs and help people feed their families! What are you gonna do NOW?

"I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND!"*

* yeah, I know, it'd be Disney World
posted by swell at 8:42 PM on June 22, 2009


appalachian trail indeed. if this doesn't end up involving charlie crist and a lovers' pact gone terribly awry, i'm going to be terribly disappointed.
posted by wreckingball at 8:42 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


So if he wanted a vacay, why didn't he just announce it? Even the POTUS takes those (our last one almost every weekend, if memory serves).
posted by bardic at 8:45 PM on June 22, 2009


So anyways, he's probably just blowing Lindsay Graham.
posted by bardic at 8:46 PM on June 22, 2009


Ensign and now this. Man, there's been some good weird politics lately.
posted by cortex at 8:51 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


According to this news report the twittererer who claims that Sanford is hiking the Appalachian trail is indeed correct. Quote follows;

S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford’s staff said late Monday that the governor is hiking on the Appalachian Trail, ending four days during which staff and state officials said they had not heard from him.
Neither Sanford’s office nor the State Law Enforcement Division, which provides security for governors, had been able to reach Sanford since he left the mansion Thursday in a black Suburban SUV assigned to his security detail, said state Sen. Jake Knotts , R-Lexington, and three others familiar with the situation, but who declined to be identified.
Joel Sawyer, the governor’s spokesman would not disclose where on the trail the governor was hiking, nor would he reveal whether Sanford was hiking alone.


I gotta say that this up-and-run without notification is probably ok for a barrista, or a programmer, but not an elected official or a CEO. I say fie on him.
posted by Severian at 8:55 PM on June 22, 2009


I should also note that there is a column ad for a life-insurance company next to the article that I linked which features a coffin. This set a bit of strange brain direction going for me as I read the article.
posted by Severian at 8:56 PM on June 22, 2009


He goes hiking, either alone or in a small group. He says he'll be away and perhaps not in regular contact. But reading between the lines it seems his people did not expect he'd be totally out of contact for several days. There's some evidence suggesting some efforts may already have been made to track him down. Now it's the beginning of the next week. And there's still no word from him.

Aren't there, like, serial killers on the Appalachian Trail?
posted by dirigibleman at 9:09 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't see anything wrong with taking a vacation for a little while. He's probably getting ready to gear up to fight Obama on health care or something. Regardless of politics, there's it's commendable to take some time off with nature. But Josh Marshall thinks it's possible that the conservative governor may be genuinely missing.
posted by Pants! at 9:10 PM on June 22, 2009


Speaking of strange brain directions, I read this:

"...said state Sen. Jake Knotts , R-Lexington, and three others familiar..."

as "and other familiars"

For a moment, I had the image of Sanford the Sorcerer hieing off into the wilderness to conduct some infernal, arcane ritual, only accompanied by his various minions, henchmen, familiars, automata and the reanimated golem resulting from his most recent dark experiment.
posted by darkstar at 9:13 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Avenger -

No insult tended to you or your job, but how many people stand to be negatively impacted if you go a little pearshaped at work?


Well, I provide life support in a hospital setting so.............

A whole state? Although I do find some governmental behaviors frustrating, a sense of scale helps also.

You're right. The job I do probably is more important to everyday folks than the Governor of South Carolina's job. And I still get paid less than the junior night manager at Arby's.
posted by Avenger at 9:14 PM on June 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


It kinda makes me mad that someone who is supposedly a public "servant" can take random vacations whenever they want while the vast majority of his constituents slave from paycheck to paycheck and are usually forced to merge their vacation days with their sick days.

Yeah, I didn't like Bush, either.
posted by Evilspork at 9:22 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


the coverage on both cnn and huffpo, whose headline implies this to be a solved issue but whose article does not, is definitely weird here. if i may engage in unfounded speculation, it almost reads like some sort of ransom situation they are trying to keep under control. but then again, i read way too many police procedurals and spy novels.
posted by feloniousmonk at 9:35 PM on June 22, 2009


.
posted by esome at 9:45 PM on June 22, 2009


I don't buy the "hiking the Appalachain Trail" bit for one second. Fine for you or I, but he is the chief executive of a US state. This smells all kinda bad. Either its a publicity stunt and he comes back with some sort of "change" or there's a lover or some other problem he's debating with himself about. This is definitely not normal in this day and age.
posted by Ironmouth at 10:10 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wife: I have no idea where my husband is at. He said he was going to do some writing away from the kids. I haven't seen him since thursday.

Staff: He's working on some projects.

Source: His cellphone was used in Atlanta.

Staff [later]: He's really stressed and he just needed some time to decompress.

Source: He's never been gone this long.

Staff [even later]: Oh btw he's hiking the Appalachian trail. We totally knew that all along. We're just telling you now.

====

The more I think about it, the more I think the Gov. is going to have some 'splanin to do when he gets back.
posted by Avenger at 10:15 PM on June 22, 2009 [9 favorites]


That's the only thing I don't get: Why had they already tracked his cell phone when the story broke if they knew all along he was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail?
posted by Justinian at 10:20 PM on June 22, 2009


I'd also like to know what kind of portable desk he brought with him so he could write and work on projects while he hikes the Appalachian trail in an unmarked SUV. In Atlanta.
posted by Avenger at 10:24 PM on June 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


see, that's where a "gone fishin'" sign would have been handy
posted by pyramid termite at 10:25 PM on June 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


To be fair, Atlanta isn't too far off a straight line between Columbia and the southern end of the Appalachian Trail. It's counter-intuitive but Atlanta, the capital of Georgia, is almost directly west of Columbia, the capital of South Carolina.
posted by Justinian at 10:27 PM on June 22, 2009


Oh. Hey, everybody, he's here with me. He's just asleep in the next room. Sorry for the confusion. I'll have him ring you all when he wakes up.
posted by humannaire at 10:30 PM on June 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


He is getting a few nips and tucks in order to look better in his campaign photos. OTOH, maybe he is pregnant and has sold his story...
posted by Cranberry at 11:35 PM on June 22, 2009


Halloween Jack mentioned spock's Blogger News post as a reassuring dismissal of this story as concern trolling by an old enemy of the governor's.

What I find more interesting is that post's headline: Missing Governor Mark Sanford Receiving Treatment. The story implies that Sanford has some psychological or addiction problem well-known among SC insiders, and goes on to say:

Speculation in the halls of the South Carolina capitol, suggest Governor Sanford is receiving some much needed treatment at a clinic. A rumor that would seem to carry weight, In view of the unified show of bi-partisan moral support the States democratic leadership offered, extending heartfelt prayers of encouragement and hope for Governor Sanford and his family.
posted by msalt at 12:03 AM on June 23, 2009


I have a hard time imagining any sane person setting out along the Appalachian Trail by himself without letting anyone know where he was going. Even if he weren't the governor of a state, there are a hundred things that could happen to him out there. He could get mugged, he could break his ankle, he could get mauled by a bear, he could get lost, he could get sick. . .it's insanely irresponsible of him

It's June, there are more people on the AT than in Manhattan right now. Although if he's recognized by a troupe of thru hikers just off a tree-sit out west he might be in trouble.

Personally I think more politicians should take backpacking breaks.
posted by fshgrl at 12:35 AM on June 23, 2009


Oh and I forgot to mention that Mark Sanford once carried two live pigs into the South Carolina Statehouse as a publicity stunt.

And named them "Pork" and "Barrel". Get it? Because he's a Republican and he's against spending. Unless it's on the military, or corporate welfare; the good kind. Or on a plastic surgeon in Georgia, a one-way economy class ticket to Mexico, and a crumbling villa in the Yucatan.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:54 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


FWIW, all he needs to do some writing in the woods is a notebook and a pen.

Or, heck a pocket knife and some trees.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:08 AM on June 23, 2009


I guess maybe it shows I shouldn't be on MeFi at 5 a.m. but I actually paged through this to see if there was a good Sanford & Son joke. Crap, I guess we'll just have to keep this on topic.
posted by crapmatic at 3:23 AM on June 23, 2009


Anyone else see Keyboard Cat, paws hovering over the keyboard, waiting patiently for Sanford to make his next move?
posted by Patapsco Mike at 4:21 AM on June 23, 2009 [15 favorites]


And named them "Pork" and "Barrel". Get it? Because he's a Republican and he's against spending.

He's the governor of South Carolina. He was accusing a majority Republican legislature of spending too much money. He voted against every single spending bill that came before him when he was in Congress. He is beyond just a "fiscal responsibility"* Republican. He is for the abolition of public education and social security and medicare, etc. The guy is a freaking nut that just happens to have gotten far more power and responsibility than a crazy person would normally be allowed to have because he comes from a backwater state where people just don't know no better. The fact that this psycho is being seriously discussed as the possible GOP presidential nominee shows just how far off the rails that party has gotten.

* Offer not valid when party is in power.
posted by ND¢ at 4:28 AM on June 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Sweet! I hope he does run. Then maybe even Mondale would have a shot at the White House.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:33 AM on June 23, 2009


I work for the state of SC and I want a vacation! Our benefits suck, but hey, I'm lucky to have a job.

So is he hiking the Appalachian Trail and writing at the same time? Can repug govs really do two things at once? No, three, he's breathing. Damn, what talent, and you gotta love those family values.
posted by mareli at 4:52 AM on June 23, 2009


I love stories like this. It's like every once in a while reality decides it's too boring and throws us something unexpected.
posted by graventy at 5:26 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


South Carolina: Where it's not the heat, it's the stupidity that makes it miserable.

I'm shocked to see this getting national news. My mother even called me to ask about it. She asked, "What kind of fool did you elect down there?" This from a woman who lived in New Mexico.

That said, I've been to Atlanta recently. I'm pretty sure I-20 (the main road between Columbia and Atlanta) doesn't cross the AT, nor is there an nature preserve of the size required to get lost in for several days in Atlanta.

Maybe I'll try and get him to come to Columbia's next meetup to explain his side of all this mess. That's gotta be quality entertainment.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 6:39 AM on June 23, 2009


The red flag is definitely the report that someone early on tracked his cell signal. He's been out of touch Friday, Saturday, Sunday (Father's Day), and Monday, and here it is Tuesday and he still hasn't called in? If nothing else, did he expect no one would notice?
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:44 AM on June 23, 2009


Serious question: at what point to they launch a search party? Day 5? Day 10?
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:46 AM on June 23, 2009


Anyone else see Keyboard Cat, paws hovering over the keyboard, waiting patiently for Sanford to make his next move?

Nope!

*adjusts meds*

Oh yeah, I see it now.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:53 AM on June 23, 2009


Normally when I go missing for several days; booze, strippers, dead strippers, a comical 'What are we going to do?!?" look on my face, and an empty wallet are involved. Never thought about saying " I went for a hike"..... very creative GOP. Very creative.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:59 AM on June 23, 2009


My favorite comment so far:

HOPE HE’S ENJOYING THE FEDERALLY FUNDED PARK.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:00 AM on June 23, 2009 [18 favorites]


Tapper reports that Sanford's office says he's called in.
posted by EarBucket at 7:01 AM on June 23, 2009


Tapper reports that Sanford's office says he's called in:

Gov Sanford called office + was "taken aback" when learning of interest his trip has garnered, his spox sez. Will return to office tomorrow.

You know, if SC has been doing ok in his absentee, maybe the state doesn't need Sanford.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:11 AM on June 23, 2009


Are you suggesting they shouldn't take 'im a-back?
posted by cortex at 7:12 AM on June 23, 2009


Andre Bauer looks remarkably like this guy who hawks furniture warehouse deals on TV commercials here in Nashville. In other words, smooth, slick, and slightly shady + seedy.
posted by blucevalo at 7:13 AM on June 23, 2009


The state police security team tracked his phone because they didn't know where he was and hadn't known for a few days. The staff wasn't telling them anything, and ultimately, it was the security team's job to know. The staff may/may not have known where he was (I'm betting they didn't because they were too general and vague to nip this in the bud early on) , but they weren't sharing the information with the people who were going to get blamed if the Gov went missing. If I was the security team, I'd have done the same thing.

This sounds unbelievably flaky. I can understand taking a long weekend/week off to refresh and to destress, but even if you strongly value your own privacy, you don't do it like this. At a minimum, you tell folks closest to you when you will be back or will check in, particularly if you are in a position of responsibility/want to be in positions of bigger responsibility, so they know what to do if questioned or a hurricane hits. It looks like he created a situation almost guarantee to backfire (speculation on his safety, conduct; lots of jokes at his expense, wife and staff having different stories, and his security team isn't going to be happy or quite as easy to get rid of in the future) on him, and he created new headaches he's going to have to deal with when he gets back. And that's assuming that all this is true, that he's not covering up other activity.
posted by julen at 7:27 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Every few years he just gets the compulsion to kill. He's digging a shallow grave for a hooker in a tube top as we speak.
posted by klangklangston at 7:54 AM on June 23, 2009


This is very Presidential of him.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:54 AM on June 23, 2009


I believe it's far more Vice Presidential of him, actually....
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:19 AM on June 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Speaking of Joe, God Bless America!
posted by ND¢ at 8:27 AM on June 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Maybe when he's running in 2012 he can explain where he's thinking of running off to when the first geopolitical crisis hits.
posted by blucevalo at 8:30 AM on June 23, 2009


The thing about being governor of one of the united states is you don't just get to haul ass to Vegas in a Chevy Impala with a trunk full of booze and LSD whenever you feel like it

Sanford was somewhere around Batesburg when the drugs began to take hold ...

Andre Bauer looks ... smooth, slick, and slightly shady + seedy.

Bauer is even more ridiculous than Sanford, a middle-aged frat boy who likes to crash planes, drive fast, and party with his bros.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:46 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Forget about Mark Sanford, he's gone.

However, Martha Sanford will be back on the job in a few days.
posted by Aquaman at 9:38 AM on June 23, 2009


Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer (R), in a statement last night, said that his staff had been misled into believing that Sanford's staff had spoken to him and knew of his whereabouts. "I cannot take lightly that his staff has not had communication with [Sanford] for more than four days," said Bauer.

Now Sanford's staff is saying that E.T. phoned home this morning.
posted by msalt at 9:41 AM on June 23, 2009


Someone who may or may not be an attorney who may or may not have been one of the attorneys that just took Sanford behind the woodshed in regards to the stimulus funds may or may not have just posted the following as his status on a social networking site of some kind:

"I'll just be up here in this here tent if y'all wanna order me to sign something else."
posted by ND¢ at 10:36 AM on June 23, 2009


What's a social networking site?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:40 AM on June 23, 2009


So, just to be clear, besides someone from his office telling us that they spoke to the man and that he's "on his way home" there's been no independent verification to confirm any of this, right? Nor any specific details of where he is/was?

He has four kids, it was Father's Day weekend, but according to his wife "he needed time away from their children to write something." Write something? Who even says that? Usually you'd be more specific, like, a book? A novel? A manuscript? A poem? A letter? Fill out a bill? Just something? In Georgia...? This does not add up.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:46 AM on June 23, 2009


That's true. Anyone seen writing in Georgia runs the risk of being burned as a witch.
posted by ND¢ at 10:48 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Even if you're going to hook up with the mistress, surely you make up some believable story as to where you're going to tell the wife?
posted by PenDevil at 10:54 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sunday was Naked Hiking Day. This hiking excuse is starting to sound more believable.
posted by stavrogin at 10:55 AM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hmmm...this week is Atlanta's LGBT Stonewall Week. Just sayin'.
posted by ericb at 10:59 AM on June 23, 2009


Write something? Who even says that? Usually you'd be more specific, like, a book? A novel? A manuscript? A poem? A letter? Fill out a bill? Just something?
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES MARK CARRY TWO PIGS INTO THE STATE LEGISLATURE AND GET PIG CRAP ALL OVER HIS COAT AND SHOES
posted by Flunkie at 11:01 AM on June 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


A wag on TPM says that this is the new euphemism of the day, say when you return from a three hour lunch with a torn blouse and missing earring: "Just took a quick hike on the Appalachian Trail."
posted by msalt at 12:11 PM on June 23, 2009


I think it's a not-too-subtle euphemism for gay sex, personally.
posted by naju at 12:46 PM on June 23, 2009


Seems like you could find a smaller park in which to cruise.
posted by GuyZero at 12:57 PM on June 23, 2009


posted by stavrogin Sunday was Naked Hiking Day. This hiking excuse is starting to sound more believable.

And the Twitter updates are starting to sound vaguely erotic.
posted by mattdidthat at 12:57 PM on June 23, 2009


CNN just quoted his wife saying she still hasn't heard from him.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:01 PM on June 23, 2009


Former aide says this is totally normal.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:02 PM on June 23, 2009


He's invisible.
posted by swift at 1:06 PM on June 23, 2009


Eight year olds dude.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:15 PM on June 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Something tells me the wife is trying to embarass him into admitting an affair after he ignored a previous ultimatum to stop seeing his piece on the side.

Usually if a politician is caught with his pants down there is a quickly assembled solemn press conference with the wife standing by the side of her philandering hubby in supportive silence. I stress the word silence because in these types of situation the role of the wife is keep her mouth shut until a weepy interview with Barbra Walters can be arranged for her to express how 'hurt she is but she has forgiven him they're working through it together'.

Here the governor's wife is going round with her hands up next to her shoulders and a mock incredulous look on her face going, "Where is my husband? What could he possibly be doing in secret away from his family? I have no idea what he would be doing sneaking off by himself? What could he be doing?"
posted by PenDevil at 1:23 PM on June 23, 2009 [13 favorites]


The inability for his staffers and/or family to be on message about any of this is really weird. Even if they had no clue where he was, you'd think they'd have a scenario planned, plausible deniability, possibly? Because really, if they do have no clue where he is, the Lt. Gov should be stepping in. And if they DO have a clue where he is but can't get ahold of him, then the Lt. Gov should be stepping in. He's not Dave Chapelle, there's a chain of command.
posted by jessamyn at 1:38 PM on June 23, 2009


It'll be pretty awesome when it turns out that he's actually Dave Chappelle, though.
posted by cortex at 1:43 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Something tells me the wife is trying to embarass him into admitting an affair after he ignored a previous ultimatum to stop seeing his piece on the side.

That's what I'm thinking, too. "I haven't heard from THE SON OF A BITCH but gosh am I worried!"
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:44 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Mrs. Sanford: "I am being a mom today. I have not heard from my husband. I am taking care of my children."

This is really weird. Why would he call his office and not his wife, especially once he'd (supposedly) been told that everyone was freaking out about him being missing?
posted by EarBucket at 1:49 PM on June 23, 2009


Josh Marshall is making book on whether he'll show up tomorrow.


Also, politicos in SC are openly questioning his story.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:51 PM on June 23, 2009


I thought Charlie Murphy was Chapelle's #2.
posted by vibrotronica at 2:00 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am being a mom today. I have not heard from my husband. I am taking care of my children.

As a divorced man, I know that tone of voice all too well. And he's dead meat.
posted by msalt at 2:01 PM on June 23, 2009 [16 favorites]


Yeah. Either the whole Appalachian Trail thing is a terrible cover story, or this guy is an idiot. Either way that's it for his Presidential ambitions.
posted by Justinian at 2:04 PM on June 23, 2009


Unless he has a really great quip when he shows up tomorrow.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:05 PM on June 23, 2009


I hope the media is keeping a 24 hour vigil on his aides and staffers because I suspect there might be (or have been) a hurried visit to the local outdoor store.
posted by PenDevil at 2:09 PM on June 23, 2009


So, if you divorce your husband while he's still in office, do you get to keep the title "First Lady?"
posted by dirigibleman at 2:31 PM on June 23, 2009


This is really weird. Why would he call his office and not his wife, especially once he'd (supposedly) been told that everyone was freaking out about him being missing?
Further* evidence that he's a closeted gay man. His self-loathing has spread from beyond just himself; he now detests his wife, and internally blames her for his sexuality.

*: Original evidence: He's a Republican.
posted by Flunkie at 2:51 PM on June 23, 2009


According to TPM his car has been tracked to an airport in Atlanta.
posted by PenDevil at 2:53 PM on June 23, 2009


Either the whole Appalachian Trail thing is a terrible cover story, or this guy is an idiot. Either way that's it for his Presidential ambitions.
I don't think it's quite that simple. The Republican Party doesn't really seem to mind nominating philanderers, e.g. McCain, or blatant idiots, e.g. Palin.
posted by Flunkie at 2:53 PM on June 23, 2009 [2 favorites]



"On Tuesday, sources told News 4's Nigel Robertson that a state vehicle is missing and was tracked down, not to the Appalachian Trail, but to the Hartsfield-Jackson Airport in Atlanta.

"Sources told Robertson that a federal agent spotted Sanford in the airport boarding a plane."


So he drives off in a state car and goes to the airport? I can't tell from this story when Sanford was supposed to be boarding this plane.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:55 PM on June 23, 2009


You know who else left their car at an airport?

Adriana La Cerva that's who.
posted by PenDevil at 2:57 PM on June 23, 2009


This is really weird. Why would he call his office and not his wife, especially once he'd (supposedly) been told that everyone was freaking out about him being missing?

He's a politician. Why didn't he call his chief of staff, get the scoop on what's going on and then call his favorite reporter to give an exclusive interview?

The political ads are just going to write themselves:

"BEEEEEEP. Hi, this is Mark Sanford, President of the United States. I'm sorry I missed your call, but if you leave your name and number I'll get back to you at some point. Thanks for calling!"

Time of call: 3am.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:00 PM on June 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


Sources told Robertson that a federal agent spotted Sanford in the airport boarding a plane.

So he took a plane to the Appalachian Trail? Really? It's sounding like his spokesman may very well have lied to the press--did he tell the same story to state law enforcement officials?
posted by EarBucket at 3:56 PM on June 23, 2009


So he took a plane to the Appalachian Trail?
Maybe he's doing the north-to-south hike.
posted by Flunkie at 4:03 PM on June 23, 2009


So he took a plane to the Appalachian Trail?

And, if they do end up claiming that Sanford did fly elsewhere to start his hike at another portion of the Appalachian Trial, why did he drive the 216 miles to Atlanta? Why not board a plane at the local Columbia Metro Airport?
posted by ericb at 4:06 PM on June 23, 2009


When he returns he should be able to provide verifiable information as to what flights (if, any) he took? He should also be able to verify what portion of the Appalachian Trail he hiked, etc.
posted by ericb at 4:08 PM on June 23, 2009


Waldogate!
posted by ericb at 4:14 PM on June 23, 2009 [3 favorites]


Hardcore north-to-south hikers always start at an unreasonably inconvenient airport.
posted by Flunkie at 4:17 PM on June 23, 2009


If he's not shacked up he could be on the lam or (I hope not) suicidal. It's getting to be so his best-case scenario is that people think he went nude hiking.

So he drives off in a state car and goes to the airport?

I know! Why didn't he drive his pickup?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:20 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


One word: Rapture.
posted by vibrotronica at 4:44 PM on June 23, 2009


Doubtful. Fab Five Freddy is still tweeting.
posted by Flunkie at 4:49 PM on June 23, 2009


Hardcore north-to-south hikers always start at an unreasonably inconvenient airport.

Every airport north of Logan is unreasonably inconvenient.
posted by jessamyn at 4:59 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Everyone calm down. He's coming back tomorrow. SC Sen. Jake Knotts issued a statement in response, which says in part:
While I believe every person deserves a vacation, our constitution gives only one man authority to act in case of an emergency - the governor of South Carolina. Should the governor decide to vacation away from South Carolina again, it is my sincere hope that he will take his security detail and keep his cell phone on so that he can be reached in case of a large-scale emergency.
I love the way he phrased that; so courteous, so gentle, but at the same time, that "I do hope the Governor keeps his cell phone on next time he bugs off somewhere without warning" is just priceless. I love the South for this.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:40 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


The state Dems had the best response:

"We've been concerned by the Governor's erratic behavior for some time. We're praying for him and his family. I hope he is safe and that he contacts the First Lady and his family soon."

Meeeeow.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:49 PM on June 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


jessamyn: "He's not Dave Chapelle, there's a chain of command."

A lot of outlets have been reporting today on the fierce rivalry between the lieutenant gov and the gov. The LG was all over the news today doing some pretty negative interviews. One suspects that the gov has staffed up with close friends / future aides for his presidential run and the governor's staff doesn't like the LG's staff much.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:20 PM on June 23, 2009


Sex or drugs, or as Ms Mutt suggests, both.
posted by R. Mutt at 6:27 PM on June 23, 2009


What if he's a werewolf, and was driven by the call of the wild? Has anybody seen John Landis? I smell a sequel: An American Werewolf in Apalachia. I want this guy as president some day. We haven't had a werewolf president yet.
posted by VikingSword at 7:37 PM on June 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


Actually, I'm pretty sure Grant was one.
posted by brundlefly at 7:46 PM on June 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Pic of the car parked at the Atlanta airport.

"Inside the vehicle: A baseball cap, running shoes, sunscreen, a pair of shorts, a canvas bag and a sleeping bag.
A parking permit for the school attended by Sanford’s children is visible on the windshield."
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:57 PM on June 23, 2009


I'm sorry - it was the Columbia SC airport. Oh this is getting good.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:16 PM on June 23, 2009


Well, that is interesting. Columbia Metropolitan Airport does have service to Atlanta, so it's possible he hopped a plane there and was spotted getting onto a connecting flight at Hartsfield-Jackson. Curiouser and curiouser.
posted by EarBucket at 8:20 PM on June 23, 2009


(But then, surely if he was going hiking for a week, he'd have taken his sleeping bag and sunscreen, right?)
posted by EarBucket at 8:20 PM on June 23, 2009


If you were going to hike the AT starting from Columbia, where would you most likely go to start off from?
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:25 PM on June 23, 2009


Well, Atlanta's probably as reasonable a point as any. It's about an hour's flight, then a two-hour drive north from Atlanta to the southern end of the trail. Really, though, he could have driven west from Columbia to pick up the trail around Asheville, NC in about the same amount of time, without having to buy a plane ticket and rent a car in Atlanta. I dunno.
posted by EarBucket at 8:48 PM on June 23, 2009


You know who else liked to go to the airport and not tell the wife and kids what he was doing?

Larry Craig, that's who!
posted by swell at 9:02 PM on June 23, 2009


Nate Silver makes an interesting catch.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:20 PM on June 23, 2009


Why not board a plane at the local Columbia Metro Airport?

So, it appears he did.

With the cellphone call originally being traced to Atlanta it appears that was his (primary) destination. Whether he made a connection there (i.e. boarded another plane) or terminated his travel there is yet to be known.

All-in-all: very interesting.
posted by ericb at 9:30 PM on June 23, 2009


Nate Silver makes an interesting catch.

I think it's more likely that the reference to Minneapolis is a Larry Craig joke rather than an actual clue to Sanford's whereabouts.
posted by EarBucket at 9:32 PM on June 23, 2009


Oh duh, of course. Forgot that was the one.

EarBucket makes nice catch.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:36 PM on June 23, 2009


Every airport north of Logan is unreasonably inconvenient.

Not for 9/11 operatives.
posted by ericb at 9:37 PM on June 23, 2009


Wow. Now it seems he was in Argentina.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:10 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Whoa.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Sanford said he had considered hiking on the Appalachian Trail, an activity he said he has enjoyed since he was a high school student. "But I said 'no' I wanted to do something exotic," ...
posted by R. Mutt at 5:24 AM on June 24, 2009


Maybe he is having an affair with Carmen Sandiego.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:27 AM on June 24, 2009 [13 favorites]


Stuff like this is going to start coming down fast. Watch the fun!
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:28 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Who the hell wanders off to Argentina on a whim? This is really odd.
posted by octothorpe at 5:44 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh, Jesus Christ. Come on. This is just getting ridiculous.
posted by EarBucket at 5:46 AM on June 24, 2009


Sanford, in a brief interview in the nation's busiest airport, said he has been to the city[Buenos Aires] twice before, most recently about a year and half ago during a Commerce Department trip.

Someone's been doing the horizontal tango, wink wink nudge nudge say no more.
posted by PenDevil at 5:53 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also why go to Argentina? America not good enough for you huh?
posted by PenDevil at 5:54 AM on June 24, 2009


He went in search of stimulus, clearly.
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:59 AM on June 24, 2009


In Argentina, Paco, a smokable cocaine paste used to go for about 30 cents (USD) a dose, enough for a powerful two-minute high.
posted by The Straightener at 6:04 AM on June 24, 2009


To sum this all up:

Governor takes off, doesn't tell anyone where he's going.

People ask "Where is the Governor?" Staff says "We don't know, but it's no big deal, he's just unwinding"

Officials ask "No, really, where is the $#% Governor?!" Staff says "We haven't talked to him, but it's no big deal, relax"

Reporters ask his wife, "WTF?" She says "Eh, who knows, he said he was going off to write something. Anyway, I'm busy taking care of the kids" Staff says "Look, we won't know, he said he was flying solo for a while, was turning his phone off, no worries"

Later his staff says "Oh, he's hiking the Appalachian Trail. He'll be back to work tomorrow"

Governor, arriving at Atlanta airport, not Columbia's, in order to avoid the press, says he was in Buenos Aires. When asked if he was alone, he says "Yes." When asked where he stayed, he declines to answer.

So, either he's lying his ass off or he's shockingly stupid. Either way, I'm all for Sanford 2012.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:05 AM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


I desperately want a reporter to ask "Governor, are you fucking serious?"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:08 AM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


"Anyway, I'm busy taking care of the kids"


I hate it when people do that FTFY thing, so I won't, (also I don't know how), but what she actually said, and it struck some people as weird, was "I'm busy taking care of MY kids." All may not be well in Sanfordland.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:10 AM on June 24, 2009


I was prepared to believe that he and his wife were having problems and he decided to go hiking for a few days to clear his head. It would have been stupid and irresponsible of him to go without telling anyone, but I could buy that. But Argentina? Really? There just isn't an innocent explanation for a week-long spontaneous trip to South America that you don't tell anyone about, particularly when you're in a position like Sanford's.

He got busted, and he has a choice now. He can either watch the story drip-drip-drip into the news over the next few weeks, or he can call a press conference and just come clean. Either way, there's no way he's running for president now.
posted by EarBucket at 6:17 AM on June 24, 2009


Josh Marshall makes a good point:

Just so we're clear, Gov. Sanford and his staff didn't announce that he had been in Argentina for the week. A reporter from The State newspaper got a tip that Sanford would be arriving on a flight into Atlanta this morning from Argentina and basically caught him. Once the reporter saw him coming off a plane from the antipodes he really didn't have much choice but to admit where he'd been.
posted by EarBucket at 6:29 AM on June 24, 2009


But he was hustled away by an aide before the reporter could ask him too many questions, which means that his office knew he was coming back from Argentina, which means they lied about him hiking the Appalachian Trail. What a mess. I wouldn't be surprised if Knotts starts pushing for impeachment proceedings.
posted by EarBucket at 6:32 AM on June 24, 2009


There just isn't an innocent explanation for a week-long spontaneous trip to South America that you don't tell anyone about

Actually there is, the story could be true and innocent, but it would involved Sanford being honest and providing documentation. His dumb ass should have flown into Columbia's airport, to a pre-arranged press conference and spent time getting the mocking he deserved and answering questions. He could have played it off, joking "Damn Democrats, they can drive you so crazy, you just up and leave the country, you know? Yeah, I let'em get under my skin and should have handled the vacation better, but I was so pissed over being forced to spend money from South Carolina's future generations. What about wife? Hell, the way I snore and steal the covers, she probably was happy I was gone for a few days. Oh you want to know where I was, here's the receipts, check it out. That one hotel was really quite nice, really relaxing."

Instead, he's thrashing around, people (and reporters) smell blood, so everyone is going to gnaw on this tasty little story. Don't forget, this is a guy who is supposed to be part of the GOP's comeback, he was mover and shaker, an up and coming leader in the Republican party. Now all he's got is future as a consultant to FOX news.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:35 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I desperately want a reporter to ask "Governor, are you fucking serious?"

It's likely that he was fucking, serious.
posted by Skeptic at 6:35 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


This is great. Argentina? No one saw that coming.
posted by graventy at 6:49 AM on June 24, 2009


Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired

They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me

Don't cry for me Argentina

posted by Skeptic at 7:03 AM on June 24, 2009


As his first act as Governor of South Carolina, Stephen Colbert calls off the search for Sanford.
posted by EarBucket at 7:06 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


And TPM flags a line from Sanford's second inaugural address in 2007:

Think for one second about the rate of change in the world around us.

The Pan Am Clipper Class used to be the envy of airline travel. One of their planes would fly 32 passengers at 150 miles per hour from point A to point B. The Miami to Buenos Aires flight took 6 days with numerous crew stops along the way.

The new Boeing 787, being in large part produced here in South Carolina, will soon take 300 passengers at 560 miles an hour on a 9 hour trip straight from Miami to Buenos Aires.

posted by EarBucket at 7:08 AM on June 24, 2009


And the AP makes a fun catch:

Sanford told The State he was alone on the trip to Argentina. He declined to give any additional details about what he did other than to say he drove along the coastline.

Trying to make such a drive could frustrate a weekend visitor to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, the Avenida Costanera is the only coastal road, and it's less than two miles long. Reaching coastal resorts to the south requires a drive of nearly four hours on an inland highway with views of endless cattle ranches. To the north is a river delta of islands reached only by boat.


It'll be interesting to see if he was lying about that, too.
posted by EarBucket at 7:10 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


graventy: "This is great. Argentina? No one saw that coming."

This story just keeps getting better and better, I can't wait for the next episode. The Republican party really should just get a reality show on VH1 or TLC, they're much better at entertainment than they are at boring stuff like running government.
posted by octothorpe at 7:13 AM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


It must be awful stressful for these guys to lead such secret lives. I would hope a generation hence would allow people to be more open about their sexual desires. It's especially hard for these closeted types. Ensign didn't really get caught until he wanted to break it off with his girlfriend and her husband demanded some kind of payoff in jobs and/or cash. John Edward's staff covered for him to the point of offering themselves as potential baby daddies. People are usually willing to offer a nod and a wink to hetero hanky panky.

Sanford's staff is willing to make excuses with nothing to go on. They pulled that Appalachian Trail stuff 'cause it is such an all-american way to rid yourself of pesky democratic induced stress. Work out stress in a manly way, getting in touch with our great land at the same time. Really, I think he was getting in touch with another dude's penis.

And why the hell not. Why should he need to leave the continent just to act as god made him? If there is a god. I guess next will be some kind of confession/purge where his normal human desires can be ascribed to temptation by the devil.

Good-bye 2012 presidential bid. It would be a shame if he wasn't such a right wing dolt that just by being bisexual, all chances at holding nationwide office are impossible.
posted by readery at 7:16 AM on June 24, 2009


Well, I don't know where bisexuality came into it, but this guy, who used to be Sanford's spokesman, says there are - shocker - marital problems.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:25 AM on June 24, 2009


"But I said 'no' I wanted to do something exotic," ...

So far, every explanation the Governor and his office have offered sounds more dubious and more absurd than the last. That's kind of adorable.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:33 AM on June 24, 2009


"Trying to make such a drive could frustrate a weekend visitor to Argentina. In Buenos Aires, the Avenida Costanera is the only coastal road, and it's less than two miles long. Reaching coastal resorts to the south requires a drive of nearly four hours on an inland highway with views of endless cattle ranches."

For what it's worth, using Google maps, it appears as though highway 11 does follow the coastline, on and off for about 60 miles south of Buenos Aires.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:36 AM on June 24, 2009


Knotts: "Cover-up, cover-up. Lies, lies, lies. His staff lied -- they didn't know where he was. I don't believe a word that comes out of that office."

Peter Hamby says Sanford's doing a press conference at 2 EST.
posted by EarBucket at 7:37 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


He could have played it off, joking "Damn Democrats, they can drive you so crazy, you just up and leave the country, you know?

They pulled that Appalachian Trail stuff 'cause it is such an all-american way to rid yourself of pesky democratic induced stress.


I know y'all aren't from South Kakalaka and you're just talking and all and that's fine, but please bear in mind that Sanford's primary source of headaches are not Democrats, mostly because there aren't enough of them here to cause him any concern. His major enemies (including Knotts and Bauer who drove this story) are Republicans. Sanford is so out there that Republicans IN SOUTH CAROLINA think he is a whack job. Republicans override 90% of his near constant vetoes, are preventing him from achieving his goal of abolishing public education and made him take the stimulus money. Sanford isn't pestered by Democrats, he is constantly being thwarted by far-right, corrupt, pro-business, praise-Jesus, ignorant country fucktards who couldn't get elected dogcatcher in a normal state, but who just happen to also have a modicum of common sense.
posted by ND¢ at 7:37 AM on June 24, 2009 [9 favorites]


So, either he's lying his ass off or he's shockingly stupid.

I'll go with both!
posted by ericb at 7:38 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


2 pm presser. Get popping.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:38 AM on June 24, 2009


Forgive me for quoting a twitterer, but in these dire days of dying newspapers, I can't resist: "Let's hear it for The State, with its lone reporter waiting for Sanford's return. Not a blogger in sight."
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:42 AM on June 24, 2009


but please bear in mind that Sanford's primary source of headaches are not Democrats

Yeah, but you don't want advertise that fact if you're him. Spin baby, SPIN.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:43 AM on June 24, 2009


While June is summer for the Northern Hemisphere, isn't it winter in Argentina?

If you wanted to go hiking on a coastline, would you really pick Argentina in winter?
posted by marsha56 at 8:08 AM on June 24, 2009


They're talking about impeachment.
posted by EarBucket at 8:16 AM on June 24, 2009


Give the guy credit, Argentina's a great choice. Totally happening right now. I don't know if he's gay but the guy is definitely a metrosexual.
posted by msalt at 8:21 AM on June 24, 2009


I love this story! I really hope he doesn't come clean at the 2:00 presser. I hope he kicks it up a notch and claims amnesia or alien abduction.
posted by diogenes at 8:37 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Still no mention on drudge at all, even though weird usually trumps politics for him.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:42 AM on June 24, 2009


New theory:

1. He was in Argentina, where
2. He was not alone, and
3. He was, in fact writing something,
4. Which was a pitch for a reality show,
5. In the company of his new writing partner,
6. Rod Blagojevich.
posted by cortex at 8:53 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Cortex, you'll have to incorporate the Appalachian Trail and the solitude of the Argentinan coast if you want this fly.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:57 AM on June 24, 2009


I think Argentina is a red herring. Maybe he traveled to Argentina and then traveled somewhere else.
posted by graventy at 9:00 AM on June 24, 2009


Still no mention on drudge at all, even though weird usually trumps politics for him.

Closeted conservatives look after each other.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:02 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


* SPOILER *

He just won Season 16 of 'The Amazing Race'.

* SPOILER *
posted by mazola at 9:02 AM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


Sanford is right wing, but secret trips to Argentina? That's really right wing.
posted by bendybendy at 9:13 AM on June 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


Here's the photo an Argentinian newspaper ran to illustrate a story about the weather there this week.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:16 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Man, this is fun.
posted by rtha at 9:18 AM on June 24, 2009


In the "everyone is piling on this" category, Haggard's gay prostitute is claiming that Sanford was in Colorado Springs with him and that he has an airline ticket stub to prove it. You couldn't write fiction more complicated than this.
posted by jeanmari at 9:20 AM on June 24, 2009


With all these shell games, Sanford is doing the human equivalent of money laundering. What do you call that? Meat laundering? Travel anonymizing?
posted by msalt at 9:22 AM on June 24, 2009


Chief Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
Max: Argentina?

2 pm presser. Get popping.

First Bobby Jindal flopped in his national debut, now Sanford "hikes the Appalachian Trail." Is every Republican 2012 hopeful going to be derailed by nutty performances or behavior? We're gonna need more popcorn.

If you wanted to go hiking on a coastline, would you really pick Argentina in winter?

Good point about the weather, but I believe he supposedly drove along the coast in Argentina when we were told he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. (Although a Washington Post reporter said Sanford was on a cruise ship in this online chat.)

Haggard's gay prostitute is claiming that Sanford was in Colorado Springs with him
"Governor Sanford would never engage in the incredibly immoral acts Mr. Jacobs has alleged took place," the spokeswoman said. "Governor Sanford believes homosexual acts are a sin and violate the Bible and the sacred institution of traditional marriage, which is why he fully supports South Carolina's Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as being between only a man and a woman."
I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
posted by kirkaracha at 9:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Haggard's gay prostitute is claiming that Sanford was in Colorado Springs with him and that he has an airline ticket stub to prove it.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL
posted by EarBucket at 9:24 AM on June 24, 2009


Ah, hell, the prostitute story is satire. I feel silly.
posted by EarBucket at 9:29 AM on June 24, 2009


Christ, what the hell kind of world are we living in when a guy can't get away from his family and responsibilities for a week to do a little cavorting on the sly without the entire country knowing about it?

If jetting to South America to drop some cash on drugs and tranny hookers is wrong, I don't want to be right.
posted by lord_wolf at 9:34 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know who else he visited and had sex with in Argentina.

That's right.
posted by LordSludge at 9:39 AM on June 24, 2009


To quote a Wonkette commenter:
"I guess this dickhole thinks he’s too good to fuck strange dudes in truck stops along I-26 like the rest of the closeted republicans, Oh no- he has to fly to South America to hit that anonymous manass.

Damned elitist."
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 9:47 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


You couldn't write fiction more complicated than this

Yeah, that was fiction though. You had me going for a second when I saw the AP bug.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:49 AM on June 24, 2009


Ruh-roh.

"There is some evidence he was not alone," a source in South Carolina politics told TPMmuckraker. "The other shoe's gonna drop. I believe there's a reason he wanted to drop his SLED detail."

According to the source, a second car was identified at the Columbia airport, next to the SUV Sanford is believed to have used. Two additional sources in South Carolina politics said the same thing.

posted by EarBucket at 9:51 AM on June 24, 2009


Great comment from EarBucket's link: "This guy's like the McGuyver of adultery!"
posted by msalt at 10:04 AM on June 24, 2009


First Jindal, now Sanford. It's only a matter of time before Eric Cantor is found buck naked in a meth lab and the 'Rising Star Republicans Who Fucked Up' trifecta will be complete.
posted by PenDevil at 10:05 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


According to the source, a second car was identified at the Columbia airport, next to the SUV Sanford is believed to have used.

BREAKING NEWS: A source says it is possible a third car was parked next to the second car. Another source claims that the airport parking lot may have been full of cars, and possibly even trucks.
posted by brain_drain at 10:11 AM on June 24, 2009 [9 favorites]


Sorry about that. The Daily Kos link seemed too good to be true and, of course, it was.

Therefore, I'll advance my hypothesis that we will all be apologizing profusely to Sanford when it is eventually revealed that the US Government sent him on a top secret spy mission to Argentina AS WELL AS BACK IN TIME to attempt the seduction of Eva Perón in order to convince her to push her husband to back away from communism and..and....there were car chases and protected war criminals and lots of heterosexually-charged heroism.

Yep, we're all gonna be sorry that we ever doubted Mark Sanford.
posted by jeanmari at 10:12 AM on June 24, 2009


ya know, this might well be a non-event.... there really doesn't seem to be any evidence that there is anything going on here beyond "hey, I need a break!"

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, HURONBOB?
posted by Justinian at 10:19 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


The Missing Governor: A Timeline.
posted by ericb at 10:23 AM on June 24, 2009


According to the source, a second car was identified at the Columbia airport, next to the SUV Sanford is believed to have used.
BREAKING NEWS: A source says it is possible a third car was parked next to the second car. Another source claims that the airport parking lot may have been full of cars, and possibly even trucks.
Yes, but "car was identified" strikes me less as "That's a car!" and more as "That's the car of Sanford's nineteen year old poolboy!"
posted by Flunkie at 10:27 AM on June 24, 2009


Haggard's gay prostitute is claiming that Sanford was in Colorado Springs with him.

This can't be true. Can it? If so, this bizzaro incident gets evermore fascinating by the hour.
posted by ericb at 10:30 AM on June 24, 2009


No, not true. It's a satirical piece. Funny, but made-up.
posted by EarBucket at 10:32 AM on June 24, 2009


Sorry about that. The Daily Kos link seemed too good to be true and, of course, it was.

Yeah ... a Google search on "Mark Sanford" + "Mike Jones" brings up only one hit -- the DailyKos diary entry. The Associated Press attribution is obviously fake.
posted by ericb at 10:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Flunkie: I agree, I just thought the copy was written in a funny way (they probably mean the owner of the adjacent car has been identified).
posted by brain_drain at 10:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Palin, Jindal, Ensign and Sanford.

Ahhh, the new era of Republicanism. Smells like teen spirit!
posted by darkstar at 10:42 AM on June 24, 2009


Ambien.
posted by Sailormom at 10:44 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


This Sanford guy is a strange politician indeed.

Going Walkabout -- "Gov. Sanford's unusual relationship to politics."
posted by ericb at 10:47 AM on June 24, 2009


TPM lists this as a live feed for the 2PM press conference, for anybody who wants to watch it live and possibly make snarky/obnoxious/entertaining comments about it in real time.

Right now it's just rolling a tone and a placeholder image, but I figure that's a good sign that the feed is functional.
posted by cortex at 10:48 AM on June 24, 2009


Washington Post: One By One, Republicans Say Good-Bye to the Presidency.
posted by ericb at 10:49 AM on June 24, 2009


Things to Do in Buenos Aires Without Your Wife.
posted by ericb at 10:51 AM on June 24, 2009


Possible explanations for his absence that Sanford may reveal at 2 pm EST.
posted by jeanmari at 10:51 AM on June 24, 2009


Via ABC News (see update at bottom of article), the embassy in Buenos Aires has no knowledge of Sanford being there.
posted by darkstar at 10:52 AM on June 24, 2009


Cheap Cocaine Makes South America The Ultimate Tourist Destination.
posted by ericb at 10:52 AM on June 24, 2009


Palin, Jindal, Ensign and Sanford.

Ahhh, the new era of Republicanism.



The best part about Palin is that her biggest fans are completely unaware that she's a laughingstock. I was listening to On Point on NPR the other day, and they were talking to McCain's economic advisor about the future of the Republican party. Somebody called in and said "I've got two words for you. Sarah Palin! She's a superstar!" Tom Ashbrook asked the strategist what he thought about that, and after a long silence he very carefully dodged the question.
posted by diogenes at 10:53 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Let it be all about male hookers and blow. Please, oh, please!
posted by ericb at 10:53 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks for the link to the live feed. I'm unreasonably excited about this. Now I know how my parents felt waiting for the moon landing!
posted by diogenes at 10:55 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was taking tango lessons so I could take my wife dancing for her birthday. It was going to be a surprise, so thanks for screwing THAT up.

Heh.
posted by cortex at 10:55 AM on June 24, 2009


You know, if he is having an affair and hooked up with his honey while on this Argentina jaunt, someone might want to hit him with a clue-by-four and let him know that disappearing for days and being unreachable are not good ways to keep the affair under wraps.
posted by rtha at 10:56 AM on June 24, 2009


I'm more interested in this than I should be. I'm probably going through exposure-to-hubris withdrawal now that Blago is no longer in office....
posted by jeanmari at 10:58 AM on June 24, 2009


stupid but accurate comment/I have a plane to catch & I've actually interrupted my packing!/end of stupid comment!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 11:00 AM on June 24, 2009


Tone is gone from the live feed but nothing else happening. Still the placeholder. I wish I could trust internet streaming more than I do, because I'm twitching here.
posted by cortex at 11:02 AM on June 24, 2009


FOX news says the presser has been moved back to 2:30pm today.

Dude's done some really bad shit.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:04 AM on June 24, 2009


Is he missing again?
posted by mazola at 11:04 AM on June 24, 2009


Damn! Now I'll probably miss it.
posted by peep at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2009


Thanks for the update, BB. Saves me 26 minutes of staring at that blue placeholder, twitching like cortex. And by "blue placeholder" I mean MeFi, of course. Off to pop corn.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2009


Motherfucker. I need to watch my stories, dammit.
posted by cortex at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


It's likely that he was fucking, serious.

But Yahoo lives in Australia, not Argentina.
posted by nomisxid at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


New rumor is that he's had a little plastic surgery done there. Makeup crew is still working on covering up the stitches for the press conference?
posted by jeanmari at 11:06 AM on June 24, 2009


My preferred scenario:

In one of his earlier trips to Buenos Aires, he hooked up with Christiano, a rather plain-looking Portuguese accountant. They fell in love and Sanford's been carrying on a double life, sneaking off to be with him whenever possible. The strain of this double life has led to a deterioration in Sanford's marriage. He wishes it hadn't all come to light this way, but part of him wanted to be caught and he's finally relieved he can stop living a lie. He and Christiano plan to get married and adopt kids in the near future.


Yeah, it's hackneyed and boring. Most of my fantasies are.
posted by darkstar at 11:07 AM on June 24, 2009


The delay may be related to this:

... allegedly having an extramarital-affair, evidence of which may have been obtained prior to his mysterious trip to Argentina by at least one South Carolina news outlet...
posted by diogenes at 11:07 AM on June 24, 2009


You know, if living in a state that borders Russia counts as foreign policy experience, think what spending a week driving around a city on a whole different continent would do for your presidential resume. Just sayin'.
posted by EarBucket at 11:07 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Governor fields questions in front of South Carolina State House.
posted by mazola at 11:08 AM on June 24, 2009


ITS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The live feed that is.
posted by ND¢ at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2009


Ooh, the feed is live. I don't know if this means we get to see 21 minutes of random pre-press feed (yay!) or if the schedule is changing or what.
posted by cortex at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2009


We have a live feed at the video link, but no Sanford yet. Plus, diogenes' link to the extramarital affair bit goes nowhere, now.
posted by jeanmari at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2009


Ugh, botched the link.
posted by diogenes at 11:10 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh, geez. Ron Christie thinks he's "toast." That guy is a total party hack; if he won't defend him, nobody will.
posted by EarBucket at 11:10 AM on June 24, 2009


I don't even want to know the truth, just gimmee a tall tale to make this ending perfect.

Was it touch ups that sexual reassignment surgery?

He's actually Brad Sanford, twin brother of Mark, who died 4 years ago in a freakish Low Country Boil accident?

Diversionary tactic while attempts a military take over of South Carolina?

Goddamnit, this better be good.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:10 AM on June 24, 2009


He was in Argentina with a zebra from Afghanistan, what?
posted by jeanmari at 11:11 AM on June 24, 2009


"Afghanistan, Argentina, Zebra, test test test."

Oh, this is gonna be a good press conference.
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:11 AM on June 24, 2009


So here's a question--the SUV parked at the airport had shorts, sunscreen, and a sleeping bag, among other things. Was Sanford planning on pretending that he'd been hiking the whole time when he got back?
posted by EarBucket at 11:12 AM on June 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


*vibrates with anticipation*

*twitches*
posted by rtha at 11:12 AM on June 24, 2009


Man, now the feed is a video template, but the audio is still there. CAM 4 is mocking me.

But a dude did say they were probably fifteen minutes out, so it sounds like 2:30 is still the plan.
posted by cortex at 11:12 AM on June 24, 2009


Nooooooo....not the CAM 4 screen....
posted by jeanmari at 11:13 AM on June 24, 2009


... allegedly having an extramarital-affair

Screw you Sanford. This better be wild sex orgies with trannies that have fetishes for BDSM and redheaded midgets. A simple affair don't cut it anymore scandal wise.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:13 AM on June 24, 2009


"Houston, we have a visual."
posted by jeanmari at 11:13 AM on June 24, 2009


Popcorn, get yer popocorn here ...
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:13 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh and I might shouldn't say this, but I know someone who works at The State Newspaper, and someone from the newsroom just came to him or her and said "We need two extra pages. The girlfriends are coming out of the woodwork."
posted by ND¢ at 11:14 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Golly, I want the waiting press corps to start gossiping on tape here. THAT would be exciting.
posted by jeanmari at 11:14 AM on June 24, 2009


Video again! Yay! Dude with a nice main standing with his back taking up half the screen, though.

Yeah, dude. Run your fingers through that think brown hair. Ooh yeah.

"That sounds like a personal problem."

I am enjoying random feed too much.
posted by cortex at 11:14 AM on June 24, 2009


It's a new reality show: Inside the Lives of AV Guys.
posted by diogenes at 11:15 AM on June 24, 2009


FoxNews and MSNBC will be airing it live on the tube. Last time I checked, CNN was focusing on insurance and Iran. I'm suffering through talking heads right now. Seriously, I wish my mute button would send feedback to the networks, like the flagging system.
posted by julen at 11:15 AM on June 24, 2009


Mane, even.
posted by cortex at 11:15 AM on June 24, 2009


Aw, bye Mic Guy. I'll miss you.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:15 AM on June 24, 2009


Tv says delayed til 2:30. Room so crowded they are switching to a pool camera
posted by R. Mutt at 11:16 AM on June 24, 2009


Keep the snarky yet descriptive commentary coming for us poor souls in bandwidth deprived lands...
posted by PenDevil at 11:16 AM on June 24, 2009


Gray haired guy just took a handful of aspirin. Or uppers.
posted by jeanmari at 11:16 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


That two-toned olive and beige shirt is not doing that guy any favors.
posted by ND¢ at 11:16 AM on June 24, 2009


Girlfriends? GIRLfriends?

All this for some stupid boring hetero sex?
Sheesh.
posted by Floydd at 11:17 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Also, where is this taking place? I like those Corinthian columns.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:17 AM on June 24, 2009


This is the story of a young couple in Columbia, South Carolina.

While waiting for his wife Jenny to return home from work, he reaches for a can of anchovies. As he spreads the tiny fish across a piece of lettuce, he notices a small note at the bottom of the can. Written on it is a telephone number. Curious, he dials, and is told, "Don't move, mister, we'll be right over." Placing the phone back on the hook, he turns to see three smartly dressed men standing in his kitchen doorway. Before he realizes what is happening to him, he is rolled tightly in long sheets of cellophane, transported to an international airport, and placed on a waiting jet-liner. All this being too much for him to comprehend, he passes out.

Upon awakening, he finds herself in a strange, foreign-speaking nation ("¿Es usted un amigo de Dorothy?"). Alone, fearing her escape impossible, he seeks comfort in the arms of a confidential agent. With the trace of his kiss still warm upon her lips, she betrays him to the hands of three scientists who are engaged in diabolical, avant-garde experiments previously performed only on insects and other small, meaningless creatures. Using him as their subject, they are delighted with the results. For the first time, a human being is transformed into a-- ("shhh... it's secret").

Meanwhile, back in Columbia, South Carolina...

His wife Jenny, now chain-smoking 40 packs of cigarettes a day, sits at a local bar and has a few beers with the regulars. Bored, everyone's attention turns to the television set that just hangs from the wall. ("Welcome to Bowling for Dollars"). Suddenly, crazy Al says, "S-say, Jenny, there sure is something familiar about that bowling ball." To which a terrified Jenny replies, "Oh my God! That bowling ball! It's my husband!"

And the lesson we learn from this story is, next time you place your order, don't forget to say, "No anchovies please."
posted by kirkaracha at 11:18 AM on June 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


Yo, Marisa, can I get some popcorn over here?
posted by rtha at 11:18 AM on June 24, 2009


This would be the Montelban Estate, MStPT. The columns match the fine leather.
posted by cortex at 11:18 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hurry up! I'm starting to wanna run my hands through his hair.
posted by diogenes at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2009


There's a guy taking pictures of the camera recording the AV guys waiting.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think it was uppers. Gray haired dude looks hella tired. Was probably tracking Sanford down into the wee hours. Two-toned beige shirt guy keeps flipping his bangs like a high school cheerleader. Everyone else seems excited and poised. Even though they've been told that this isn't going down for 15 minutes or so, they can't seem to turn their bodies away from the podium. Lots of background laughing in the crowd.
posted by jeanmari at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2009


This is like Christmas morning on Metafilter!

I'M SO EXCITED!!!
posted by LordSludge at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


What are the odds for who gets the blame:
2-1 Alcohol
4-1 SC Legislature
5-1 Obama
10-1 Satan
posted by PenDevil at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2009


Ooh, white balance! Hurry up!
posted by cortex at 11:20 AM on June 24, 2009


*tosses bag of popcorn to rtha*

This would be the Montelban Estate, MStPT. The columns match the fine leather.

Not even Khan can save him now!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:20 AM on June 24, 2009


Man! I have to pee! I guess I should run for it now.
posted by peep at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009


The white balance unbalanced the white. It's murky now.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009


I hate to say it but with this and Limbaugh's frequent vacations to (where again? Costa Rica?) it kind of makes me want to fly to Argentina and start up a "GOP Hookers 'n Blow Travel Agency".

Come To Latin America: Where the Moral Majority Lets It All Hang Out
posted by Avenger at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Can't the reporters at least make audible inappropriate jokes while they wait?
posted by lullaby at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know those cheap mysteries that just get more and more random and senseless as they go along, until at the end the master detective just stands there in front of everybody and explains everything, and so you're all, "Oh! Now I get it! Damn, that's convoluted, though."

I feel like we're about to get that scene in real life.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


Rehab, but in Argentina?
posted by R. Mutt at 11:21 AM on June 24, 2009


I'm just glad the Olive Danzig took a seat.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


They're shooting for TV, not internet, longtime_lurker.
posted by cortex at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


CNN has cut to a story about sexting. Someone in the control room is having too much fun.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


Aww, I just remembered that the last time I live blogged something on Mefi was the night Obama won the election and the adorable CNBC news guy was flipping out about "these kids and their texting"
posted by jeanmari at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


And...action!
posted by R. Mutt at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


AND THE CROWD GOES WILD ATTENTIVE
posted by cortex at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think that's the Statehouse. Also, no making fun of South Carolina or our columns.

AHHH THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ND¢ at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


Argentinian rehab= sex change operation, R Mutt.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh God he's drunk.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


no wife at side
posted by R. Mutt at 11:22 AM on June 24, 2009


This is not a great start.
posted by cortex at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


sanford: How are we going to do this? Someone going to help me here? Okay...
posted by jeanmari at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Um we're ready yeah. Quit stalling.
posted by rtha at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Fifty bucks on the SC legislature getting the blame for this train wreck.
posted by darkstar at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Gina Smith, you're taking the fall...
posted by jeanmari at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Is he really reminiscing about hiking the AT? Jesus.
posted by rtha at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Quaint story time. YAWN.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh, geez, don't talk about the Trail, dude. No, no, no.
posted by EarBucket at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


Man he loves the Appalachian trail. Enough to start there. After being gone for a week, in Argentina, apparently.
posted by cortex at 11:23 AM on June 24, 2009


This guy rambles on like my grandpa...what on earth?
posted by jeanmari at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2009


"adventure trips"?
posted by ND¢ at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2009


Break from the bubble. Are you fucking kidding me.
posted by rtha at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2009


He's reminiscing about his love the the Appalaichan Trail?
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2009


This is not how you do it! You have to come to the podium confidently and take control of the situation, not ramble about how much you love the trail your office lied about you hiking while you were in South America.
posted by EarBucket at 11:24 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


My bullshit-ometer is going wild.
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


You know what, stop telling us what you told the reporter because SHE ALREADY TOLD US.
posted by rtha at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


WHERE WERE YOU GOV???????
posted by jessamyn at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


And he's going to admit nothing. He's stonewalling. This is amazing.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


NOT THE WHOLE STORY!
posted by jeanmari at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


He found it "exhausting" dealing with state legislature and had to leave the country, and has his eye on the White House?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


This is like watching Michael Scott do a press conference.
posted by EarBucket at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


Not the whole story!
posted by ND¢ at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


He said something about laying bottoms!
posted by mazola at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


"It's gonna hurt."
posted by cortex at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Here it comes. I'm all tingly!
posted by Justinian at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


It's gonna hurt!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


"I'm a bottom-line kinda guy ... it's gonna hurt."
posted by joe lisboa at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Apologizing to wife and kids for letting them down. Bam, roll credits.
posted by cortex at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Here it comes.....
posted by R. Mutt at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Get to the bottom line already you bottom line


Oh oh he's apologizing to the family. We know what's coming.
posted by rtha at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Apology to the wife: check.
posted by ND¢ at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Apologize to my wife Jenny and my four boys...it was an affair.
posted by jeanmari at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2009


Yup, kids are mentioned, it's an affair.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009


I'm a bottom line kinda guy. I'm gonna lay it all out. It's gonna hurt, and I'll let the chips fall where they may."

I'm on the edge of my seat.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009


He's gonna cry.
posted by jeanmari at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009


For a "bottom line" kind of guy, he sure knows how to stall.
posted by lullaby at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


He says "Jinny" like Forrest Gump.
posted by peep at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh for god's sake, spill it already!
posted by darkstar at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009


He sounds like he might start crying. Looks really shaken.
posted by EarBucket at 11:26 AM on June 24, 2009


I. Love. You. Jen Nay.
posted by ND¢ at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hem. Haw.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


Also, apologizing to staff and admitted to creating a fiction to where he was going.
posted by jeanmari at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


resigning at 3, 2, 1...
posted by R. Mutt at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


He just apologized to me!
posted by ND¢ at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


JESUS WITH THE APOLOGIZIN' ALREADY
posted by cortex at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


Here come the tears!
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


For gods sake, just get it out there. Was it a girl or a dude?!?
posted by Justinian at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2009


Stop apologizing, for crissakes. You're only sorry because you got caught. You're not actually sorry.
posted by rtha at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


What's the point of apologizing en masse without acknowledging "up front" what you're apologizing for? He KNOWS he's toast.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


An affair still doesn't jibe the batshit behaviour.
posted by PenDevil at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Aw, man, he's choking up now talking about the "Tom Davises of the world".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


Geez, the lady behind him is grinning like it's her birthday.
posted by EarBucket at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


STOP APOLOGIZING AND TELL US IF SHE'S A TRANNY.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Jurassic Park, Tom Davis, in-laws, and so on and so on...
posted by jeanmari at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


Jurassic Park. Dinosaur sheets. He lost me.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


You're letting ME down now, gov.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


He's let everyone down. But he hasn't apologized to me by name yet. I feel so left out.
posted by rtha at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


And by "toast" I mean he's thinking "this is the last time I'll be allowed anyway NEAR a microphone by the GOP."
posted by joe lisboa at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


"I had the most surreal of conversations" prior, at least, to this one...
posted by cortex at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


Stop apologizing, for crissakes. You're only sorry because you got caught. You're not actually sorry.

This.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2009


Yikes. He's going to resign, isn't he?
posted by EarBucket at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


GOD'S LAWS
posted by cortex at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


God's Laws!
posted by rtha at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


"God's laws" -- kill me now.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


God's laws reference!
posted by R. Mutt at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


jinx
posted by rtha at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


THE BIGGEST SELF OF SELF IS INDEED SELF
posted by cortex at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


The biggest self of self is indeed self...what?
posted by jeanmari at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


Wait for it....
posted by darkstar at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


OH MY GOD he's never going to reveal anything.
posted by peep at 11:29 AM on June 24, 2009


Did he just say "The biggest self of self is indeed self?"

On preview - yep, apparently he did.
posted by bibliowench at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


SPIT IT OUT ALREADY.
posted by lullaby at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


"God's law"? Man, shut up already. Talking about "faith". Like rtha - being sorry for being caught is not being sorry.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


Now, apologize to non-believers and EVERYONE is covered.
posted by jeanmari at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


THE BIGGEST SELF OF SELF IS INDEED SELF
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


I would like to apologize to the turtle, his family, the Kahala Hilton Hotel, and the hundred or so diners at the Hilton's outdoor cafe.
posted by diogenes at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


See, and I was all set to believe that he got to Buenos Aires and said "Dang, I should have gone hiking!" And then drunk himself into a stupor and slept in a gutter for six days for sorrow of missed opportunities, waking only for the occasional weeping fit and screaming out what locals describe as a strange aversion to pork. That was more interesting.

Dangit, MSNBC lost the video on TV and you could hear the entire news room yelping and screaming "no!" as he was talking about disappointing his parents-in-law.
posted by julen at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh god, don't lecture us on religion and morality. This is not the time for that.
posted by EarBucket at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


There will be a not insignificant chunk of his base that will eat this shit up. It turns my stomach. You are a bad man, stop hiding behind Jesus, punk.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


AND WE HAVE AN AFFAIR!
posted by jeanmari at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


Almost there...
posted by darkstar at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


The smirks in the background are my favorite part.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


BEGAN AS CYBER
posted by cortex at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


"God's law is there to protect you from yourself."
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


PRONOUNS, Sanford. He? She?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:30 AM on June 24, 2009


Annnnnd there it was. I feel bad for enjoying this so much. And yet I really, really am.

I'm clearly a terrible person.
posted by Justinian at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


It began innocently, as so many of these things do.
posted by rtha at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Dear America, I'm a failure as a Christian. I've broken God's laws. But let's not let my personal failing detract from the mission of Christ: oppressing homos and women. Thank you."
posted by Avenger at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


NEED A PRONOUN
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2009


A dear friend from Argentina. All I can say is I apologize...

...AND you can say that you resign?
posted by jeanmari at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2009


If the wife is not by his side, that means the divorce train is barrelling full throttle through Sanford town.
posted by PenDevil at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


OK, it was a girl. BO-RING.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


I'm clearly a terrible person.

Can you move over a little? It's getting crowded in the terrible-person-for-enjoying-this room.
posted by rtha at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


I hate what this means for his family. I hope his wife and kids make it through this okay.

Sanford, you are a lying shit.
posted by darkstar at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


"a zone of privacy" -- from the guy who wants to tell me what I should do in my bedroom or what my girlfriend should do with her uterus. Fuck that noise. And fuck this guy.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009 [11 favorites]


Holy smokes, those women over his right shoulder look thrilled and excited. Their smiles are a mile wide!
posted by jeanmari at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


That's what he wants you to believe.
posted by mazola at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


Did he really think that the best way to keep an affair under wraps was to disappear for SIX DAYS without letting anybody know that he'd be gone or where he'd be going? Seriously? What the fuck, Sanford?
posted by EarBucket at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh my god, he's already asking for forgiveness? Fuck you.
posted by rtha at 11:32 AM on June 24, 2009


YOSH! Resignation!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


I hope the reporters still have the balls to ask if it was a homosexual affair.
posted by PenDevil at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


not resigning as gov???
posted by R. Mutt at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


Resigning as chair of RGA. Not as Gov?
posted by cortex at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


Resigning as chairman of RGA (Republican Governors Assoc) -- but not governor of SC? Did I miss that?
posted by joe lisboa at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


May I sit down here on the terrible-person-bench, next to "y'all"?
posted by jeanmari at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009


Dear Jenny Sanford,

DTMFA!!!!

Love,

MeFi's DTMFA brigade
posted by rtha at 11:33 AM on June 24, 2009 [16 favorites]


Well, resigning from the RGA, anyway.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Wait, he's resigning governor or as chairman of the RGA?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Resigning as chairman of RGA (Republican Governors Assoc) -- but not governor of SC? Did I miss that?

That's what it sounded like.
posted by rtha at 11:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Family knew, and he went anyway? Really? WTF, dude.
posted by cortex at 11:34 AM on June 24, 2009


Hell no, he won't be resigning as Governor. Just because he's a lying sack doesn't mean he's willing to give up power!
posted by darkstar at 11:34 AM on June 24, 2009


believe or not!
posted by peep at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


He is somehow connecting this to a Bible Study group in Washington? Huh?
posted by jeanmari at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


tears.
posted by R. Mutt at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


Believe it or not a group for Christian bible study
Not.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


Let's see...who's next in the Republican Cavalcade of 2012 Hopefuls?
posted by darkstar at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


To play Devil's advocate Clinton didn't resign either after getting some extra intern lovin'...
posted by PenDevil at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


Did you break off the relationship?

"Uh, no, it's, it's interesting how this has gone down..."
posted by cortex at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


"This person" Hm ...
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:35 AM on June 24, 2009


"It's interesting how this thing has gone down." Ha-ha! [/nelson]
posted by joe lisboa at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009


"More details than you'll ever want"? Not possible, dude.
posted by lullaby at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009


It was interesting in how this thing has gone down, John. To give you way more detail than you'll ever want...

Places hands under chin, "Go on..."
posted by jeanmari at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ooh, there's a certain irony! I like certain ironies.
posted by cortex at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh don't worry folks, the Christian/Evangelical wing GOP is going to fall over itself to forgive this guy. Because he feels really bad about what he did, you see. It's okay. God's grace covers a multitude of sins. Unless you enjoy them.

Avenger likes to get his dick sucked: Horrible, terrible person.

Mark Sanford likes to get his dick sucked: He's not perfect, just forgiven.
posted by Avenger at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


...to give you more detail than you'll ever want
Not possible right now. FEED US!
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


... aaaaand it's a lady.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:36 AM on June 24, 2009


Um, didn't he release a statement of surprise that people were surprised?

And in this economy it would suck to be working in his office right now.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:37 AM on June 24, 2009


Can I collect on my bet now?
posted by Ironmouth at 11:37 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


"let me tell you about the deep conversations I had with my lover!"
posted by peep at 11:37 AM on June 24, 2009


How long is he going to let himself be up on the cross he built?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:37 AM on June 24, 2009


"That whole sparking thing." Hello new G-rated euphemism.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:37 AM on June 24, 2009


"that whole sparking thing" -- this is priceless. "serious overdrive!"
posted by joe lisboa at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009


Hey, awesome, he met the woman through email. It would be even more awesome if he met her while playing WoW.
posted by Justinian at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


It makes me happy for some reason that his wife is not next to him with a valium induced grin. Hopefully she is in the governor's mansion packing her bags, or better yet putting his shit in trash bags and leaving it on the porch.
posted by marxchivist at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


So, this really is the GOP Cumback?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009


"The Cubby Culbertsons and the others of the world" is one of the greatest phrases I will hear all week, all else aside.
posted by cortex at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009


I want to have a sparking thing with my lady friend tonight.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009


(For those without bandwidth, made friends with this woman 8 years ago who had separated from husband and the irony was that he tried to talk her into getting back with her husband. Then, they had deep conversations. Then they had sex. Now, he is here.)
posted by jeanmari at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


...spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina.

Oh my god.
posted by rtha at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2009


I predict reconciliation is going to go REALLY well what with the fact they were already in couples therapy over this relationship and he still went off for a weeklong nookiefest.
posted by julen at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2009


YO.
posted by peep at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2009


"Yo, I'm completely right ..."
posted by joe lisboa at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2009


The Tom Davises of the world, too.
posted by cortex at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2009


"I wouldn't have done it to the Tom Davises of the world ..." -- so it IS a lady.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2009


I can't watch this and be on meta at the same time. Damn you bad iPhone reception!
posted by cjorgensen at 11:40 AM on June 24, 2009


EvasionFest 2009
posted by joe lisboa at 11:40 AM on June 24, 2009


A staff member just came up and tapped him, and he just called for last question.
posted by jeanmari at 11:40 AM on June 24, 2009


He's trying to deny that he misled his staff about hiking on the AT. It isn't going well.
posted by jeanmari at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


I'm pleased that he's not very good at sticking by his "last question" threat.
posted by cortex at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


Wow, that went terribly. He's sunk. Last question x3?
posted by joe lisboa at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


...spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina.
posted by rtha at 2:38 PM


Did he actually say that? In North Carolina, Argentina cries for you.
posted by marxchivist at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


His voice got quieter and quieter there at the end. And now? He turned around and is gone.
posted by jeanmari at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


Well that went well.
posted by mazola at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


What a gutless hypocrite.
posted by joe lisboa at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


Walks out as a reporter shouts "Will you resign as governor?"
posted by rtha at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


Oh, so someone gets the stones to ask if he's resigning as Governor after he's already left? WTF?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


That was a weird ending.
posted by lullaby at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009


Damn!

The walkoff to "are you going to resign as Governor" just, ouch. Mumbled "what's the woman's name" from the core a few seconds later.

Well, that was a hell of a show.
posted by cortex at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009


And one last shot of our Mane Man, just for symmetry.
posted by longtime_lurker at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009


He actually said that, marxchivist. That was not a pullquote from the satirical article posted way up.
posted by rtha at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009


Well, that happened.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone know when this will be on the iTunes Store for download? I hate having to wait a week for all the good stuff.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


So wait? He flew down to Argentina in order to break up with his transsexual girlfriend? I am confused.
posted by milarepa at 11:43 AM on June 24, 2009


That last shot of him walking away as he's being asked if he's going resign is the repeating clip for the next 2 days.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:44 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Bets for time of formal resignation as Gov. are now welcome.
posted by cortex at 11:44 AM on June 24, 2009


So, if he DID intentionally mislead his staff about his whereabouts and didn't transfer power while he was unreachable, are there ANY consequences for him (other than politically?)
posted by jeanmari at 11:44 AM on June 24, 2009


Bets for time of formal resignation as Gov. are now welcome.

Tomorrow, at noon.

Oh, what's the prize if we win?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:45 AM on June 24, 2009


Remember kids, the biggest self of self is indeed self! And that's one to grow on.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:45 AM on June 24, 2009


More popcorn, Marisa. What other prize would we need?
posted by rtha at 11:46 AM on June 24, 2009


So wait? He flew down to Argentina in order to break up with his transsexual girlfriend? I am confused.

You've got it all wrong. He flew to Argentina with Cubby Culbertson as part of his bible study group. While there, he met a girl named Gina (via email) and stole her away from her magnificently coiffed boyfriend.
posted by diogenes at 11:46 AM on June 24, 2009


I can't wait to hear from the Republicans so we can learn how this is all Barack Obama's fault.
posted by MegoSteve at 11:46 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


More popcorn, Marisa. What other prize would we need?

I was hoping for popcorn. Either regular or caramel. Not that crazy gross pink and green circus popcorn.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:47 AM on June 24, 2009


Bets for time of formal resignation as Gov. are now welcome.

I pick Friday at 3:00 PM.
posted by MegoSteve at 11:48 AM on June 24, 2009


cortex, "Bets for time of formal resignation as Gov. are now welcome."

Other than the laws of God and decency has he violated any real statutes? This is really effed up, but don't know why he wouldn't fight resignation.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:48 AM on June 24, 2009


A note to the ghost of James Lewis Petigru, wherever you may wander: If we admit you were right about our poor little state, will you have pity and allow your curse to leave us?
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:49 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


So, who paid for his trip(s?) to Argentina?
posted by lullaby at 11:49 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Friday at 4:45 PM?
posted by joe lisboa at 11:50 AM on June 24, 2009


Unintentional irony from the Freep post CunningLinguist linked above:

"It is refreshing that Mark Sanford is secure enough in himself and the people of South Carolina that he does not view himself as an indispensable man."
posted by darkstar at 11:50 AM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm still not convinced. You go out of city for an affair. You go out state for a homosexual affair. You go out the country for donkeys.

Because the divorce proceedings are going to be really, really ugly when you consider that his wife broke the story in the first place.
posted by PenDevil at 11:50 AM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Other than the laws of God and decency has he violated any real statutes?

Well Republicans kinda make a big deal about how "laws of God and decency" should be real statutes, so it would be a little silly for him to be a Family Values governor while banging his hot South American mistress.

Then again, he's forgiven, so who cares?
posted by Avenger at 11:51 AM on June 24, 2009


You have to give him credit for finding such an exotic locale to have an affair. Now, things are going to get really pretty if it comes to light that he used government money to fund his trip. I really think that SC is starting to give some of you bigger states a run for your money for the title for craziest governor.
posted by msali at 11:51 AM on June 24, 2009


Argh I merged my two comments. The second part is in response to cjorgensen.
posted by PenDevil at 11:52 AM on June 24, 2009


cortex, "Bets for time of formal resignation as Gov. are now welcome."

Tomorrow, 5pm.

Caramel popcorn, kthx.
posted by toastedbeagle at 11:52 AM on June 24, 2009


Everyone who said 'affair' gets a cookie.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 11:52 AM on June 24, 2009


Remember kids, the biggest self of self is indeed self!

When you're in Jurassic Park.
posted by dirigibleman at 11:53 AM on June 24, 2009


oh btw its the gays who are destroying marriages.

the GAYS.
posted by Avenger at 11:53 AM on June 24, 2009 [19 favorites]


I like how "the Tom Davises of the world" got like 20 apologies, and his wife got maybe two.
posted by ND¢ at 11:54 AM on June 24, 2009


Friday, 7pm, by press release.

Bacon salt on my kettle corn, please.
posted by rtha at 11:54 AM on June 24, 2009


"This person" Hm ...

Gender neutral. I think the story of a friendship with a lady for 8 years is suspect. He's boning another guy. Err ... wait ... at the start he said he is a bottom-line guy. I think he means "a bottom."
posted by ericb at 11:55 AM on June 24, 2009


oh btw its the gays who are destroying marriages.

*Dances triumphantly*
posted by rtha at 11:56 AM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I like how "the Tom Davises of the world" got like 20 apologies, and his wife got maybe two.

That's also when he started crying. Mentions his wife, his kids, his constituents - that he can handle. BUT HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO TOM DAVIS?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:57 AM on June 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


So was the mistress actually in Argentina? Because that's a pretty big deterrent to starting an affair. It's one thing to start a fling with the flirty workmate you see everyday, it's quite another to board a plane and go bone some chick you only talked with via phone/email. I mean that takes concious effort and willpower.
posted by PenDevil at 11:57 AM on June 24, 2009


I don't think he's going to resign this easily. It's going to take a second (and third) girlfriend or some additional malfeasance (odd money financing his trip, if he flew the girlfriend in on the state's dime for one of their four romantic meetings) to move him.

He's going to alternate between filibustering his way through every future journalist meeting and making no comment and hope it dies down.
posted by julen at 11:57 AM on June 24, 2009


Aw, man, he's choking up now talking about the "Tom Davises of the world".

Notice how he cried over Tom (who lived in his basement for a while). No tears for his wife and sons. The waterworks for his Jurassic Park boytoy.
posted by ericb at 11:58 AM on June 24, 2009


I like how "the Tom Davises of the world" got like 20 apologies, and his wife got maybe two.

To be fair, there's like 30 times as many google hits for the "Tom Davis" as for "Jenny Sanford". Dude's just being equitable.
posted by cortex at 11:58 AM on June 24, 2009


You know that the Christian Right is going to spin this around because he is an EPISCOPALIAN. And that is practically Catholic but with priests who are allowed to marry. Or something.

Okay, according to this list of the rising stars of the R-Party, here is our tally so far in '09:

Jindahl - check
Palin - check
Sanford - check

(She doesn't mention Ensign, but let's put him in there anyway.)

The ones to watch now are:

Cantor in VA
Ryan in WI
Diaz-Balart in FLA

Anyone want to predict where these next three will turn up and in what order?
posted by jeanmari at 11:59 AM on June 24, 2009


Praise Jesus!
posted by ericb at 12:00 PM on June 24, 2009


Well...that was a moderately entertaining episode.

Next up on "Real Life: GOP"...
posted by darkstar at 12:00 PM on June 24, 2009


Sorry, THIS list.
posted by jeanmari at 12:01 PM on June 24, 2009


I already got dibs on Cantor.
posted by PenDevil at 12:01 PM on June 24, 2009


oh btw its the gays who are destroying marriages.

the GAYS.


The gays got him to fly down to Argentina for a career-destroying nookie run? Damn, those gays are good.
posted by bibliowench at 12:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Cantor and Ryan are totally licking their chops (their own, not each other's), over the self-winnowing candidate field...
posted by darkstar at 12:02 PM on June 24, 2009


So was the mistress actually in Argentina? Because that's a pretty big deterrent to starting an affair.

He claims he knew her for 8 years, they were "dear, dear friend"s, he even urged he to get back together with her husband, and then sometime in the "past year" when they were exchanging friendly emails, the evil internet struck and an affair magically started! He went to Argentiuna on a economic development trip 1 year ago, and I guess that's when the true "sparking" happened, and I don't mean in the 1930s innocent hand-holding and frantic kissing kind of way.
posted by julen at 12:02 PM on June 24, 2009


Damn, those gays are good.

Yes, yes we are. We have THE POWER.
posted by rtha at 12:03 PM on June 24, 2009


Yes, yes we are. We have THE POWER.

Can you get me a HomoAir flight to Argentina for under $899? I don't have the luxury of a taxpayer-funded salary or expenses or SUV(s) or airfare or staff or ...
posted by joe lisboa at 12:05 PM on June 24, 2009


"adventure trips"?

That's what we gays call meth-fueled romps in the bathhouse.
posted by ericb at 12:10 PM on June 24, 2009


You know what would've been great? If he simply hadn't come back. I'm not saying abdication of duties is honorable or anything, but how great would the story be if he'd just waited until he got a massive Sanford'12 contribution from Howard Rich, absconded to Buenos Aires, and a week later we only find out about it through a phone call to his broker moving some cash around. No press conference, no crying, no explanation, just a letter of resignation with Argentinian postage and dirty-martini-stains.

I'm not saying it would've made him a better person, but it would've made him a legend.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:11 PM on June 24, 2009 [11 favorites]


I'm gonna see if Nate Silver can chart "propensity to lecture on the evils of libruls" against "esteem they hold in the neocon world" to see if he can predict the "probability they are fucking someone other than than their spouse".

These guys are as morally bankrupt as their political worldview.

(And, yes, I know Dems do it, too. They generally don't act so Christ-like beforehand, though.)
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:12 PM on June 24, 2009


huuuge surprise: On Fox, Mark Sanford "(D)" holds press conference
posted by lullaby at 12:15 PM on June 24, 2009 [10 favorites]


I'm not saying it would've made him a better person, but it would've made him a legend.

"I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore."
...
"So you're gonna quit?"

"Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going. "
posted by Justinian at 12:15 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Oh Fox News, you mischievous rascals.
posted by PenDevil at 12:17 PM on June 24, 2009


Oooh, MSNBC ticker says the mistress is married with kids. Harder to argue the good man swayed by an evil temptress line when she has a family to be damaged, too.
posted by julen at 12:17 PM on June 24, 2009


huuuge surprise: On Fox, Mark Sanford "(D)" holds press conference

You've got to be shitting me. They're not even trying anymore.
posted by joe lisboa at 12:18 PM on June 24, 2009


Or rather: they are.
posted by joe lisboa at 12:19 PM on June 24, 2009


julen: he's good because he talked her into staying with her husband, remember? And she's evil because he was the governor. Or something.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:19 PM on June 24, 2009


Holy shit Fox. They do that over and over and over. They're Orwellian - except that Orwellian doesn't work so well without also controlling the Ministry of History guys. Because then it's just lying.

Anyway, what a rube.
posted by GuyZero at 12:20 PM on June 24, 2009


Thanks for that lullaby- I jokingly remarked to a co-worker earlier that Fox News might pull that again. I can't believe that I turned out to be right.
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:20 PM on June 24, 2009


So much for the sanctity of heterosexual marriage! Fuck you, Sanford and your hypocritical GOP cohorts.
posted by ericb at 12:20 PM on June 24, 2009


By the way everybody, this was hilarious to read after the fact. I love Metafilter.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 12:21 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


FOX did correct their error later, apparently. But that does seem to be a quasi-official policy of theirs - give the fornicator a (D), then quickly apologize later. I think they also use a flames background for Democrat politicians, and redden Obama's eyes.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:22 PM on June 24, 2009


huuuge surprise: On Fox, Mark Sanford "(D)" holds press conference

Same M.O. with Mark Foley back in 2006.

Mark Foley (D).
posted by ericb at 12:22 PM on June 24, 2009


Can you get me a HomoAir flight to Argentina for under $899?

Ass, gas, or grass. You know the rules.
posted by rtha at 12:26 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I missed the press conference, but reading the comments was awesome. Even better than being there, I dare say!
posted by ahdeeda at 12:26 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


If the Repubs think he will get away with an apology and the idea that "God and his wife have forgiven him", he still has to explain to the heartland how he chose to be away from his kids over Father's Day to explore his cognitive dissonance issues.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:27 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


So, snark aside (mostly), what did he think he was doing?

If he didn't want the affair to come to light, how did he think fucking off to Argentina for a week wouldn't be noticed?

If he did know that he was going to come clean about the affair, then what the hell was the trip to Argentina about? Was it just a last hurrah?
posted by rtha at 12:27 PM on June 24, 2009


On Fox, Mark Sanford "(D)" holds press conference

I have to wonder if that's some sort of tort, especially in the context of repeated offenses. Not that it would make strategic sense for the party to actually file suit, but still.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:29 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


So what happens to his staffer that lied not only to the media but to the Lt Governor that Sanford was on the AT?
posted by PenDevil at 12:30 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I only wish I had the time to make a keyboard cat video out of this.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 12:30 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ass, gas, or grass. You know the rules.

My ladyfriend vetoes the first and there's no way I can afford that much jet fuel, so ... what's the protocol for passing a "cigarette" in a cockpit?

Ha ha, "cockpit."
posted by joe lisboa at 12:31 PM on June 24, 2009


The problem with the D/R thing on Fox is that they can always use the fact that the keys are next to each other as an excuse. Just got caught up in the moment and made a typo, they'd say.
posted by jedicus at 12:32 PM on June 24, 2009


So what happens to his staffer that lied not only to the media but to the Lt Governor that Sanford was on the AT?

On of the comments on HuffPo says what he SAID was he was going to " spike some Argentinian tail" and what they HEARD was he was going to "hike the Appalachian Trail".
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:35 PM on June 24, 2009 [11 favorites]


Benny FTW.
posted by joe lisboa at 12:36 PM on June 24, 2009


Have we found the woman yet? Because I'm not entirely convinced it wasn't really a dude.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:36 PM on June 24, 2009


If he didn't want the affair to come to light, how did he think fucking off to Argentina for a week wouldn't be noticed?

He implied that he went to end it, without actually saying he went there to do it. I guess he expected to spend the first six days having his cake, and the last day, eating it. Instead he only had one day of cake, and then five days of "oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit"
posted by julen at 12:37 PM on June 24, 2009


oh man, thanks everyone for live blogging that for me! i can't watch the streaming/live internets here at work and i was wondering how the press conf would go.

this play by play was prolly better than watching it live!

i can't believe he thought he would get away with this.
posted by sio42 at 12:37 PM on June 24, 2009


MSNBC Poll: Should S.C. Gov. Sanford resign in light of his infidelity and his secretive trip?
posted by ericb at 12:39 PM on June 24, 2009


huuuge surprise: On Fox, Mark Sanford "(D)" holds press conference

They probably got confused since this one (allegedly) committed adultery with a grown-up lady.
posted by availablelight at 12:39 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


Just before I hit refresh, I want to go on record as saying that reading this thread AFTER the press conference has been nothing but the purest of awesome.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:40 PM on June 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


joe - just let the flight attendant know you've got a pack of the captain's favorite smokes. It'll get to me.

I'm still chuckling over his "I've spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina." I can't wait to see what Stewart, Colbert, and Maddow do with this.

Crying. Argentina. Heh.
posted by rtha at 12:43 PM on June 24, 2009


Mark Sanford's hope for a Presidential run, or that matter any other future elective office, has likely just been nixed.

His dalliance has expanded the scope of Edwin Edwards' famous phrase: "The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."
posted by ericb at 12:44 PM on June 24, 2009


"For those without bandwidth, made friends with this woman 8 years ago who had separated from husband and the irony was that he tried to talk her into getting back with her husband. Then, they had deep conversations. Then they had sex. Now, he is here."

Well, if talking to her didn't convince her to go back to her husband, maybe lackluster sex—her hands coated afterward with his fake tan—could.
posted by klangklangston at 12:46 PM on June 24, 2009


Let's see...who's next in the Republican Cavalcade of 2012 Hopefuls?

Mike Huckabee was on fox (by phone) just before Sanford came out to speak. Old Huck didn't seem to bothered by Sanford's troubles...
posted by R. Mutt at 12:48 PM on June 24, 2009


I can't believe he thought he wouldn't get caught. HOW WOULD YOU THINK YOU WOULDN'T GET CAUGHT YOU ARE THE GOVERNOR PEOPLE NOTICE WHEN YOU ARE GONE
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:55 PM on June 24, 2009 [9 favorites]


Is Pawlenty still in the field? I can barely keep track anymore.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:55 PM on June 24, 2009


Another question: Why did he have to break up the affair in person? Is he so old fashioned he can't do it via email?
posted by PenDevil at 12:56 PM on June 24, 2009


South Carolina DNC chair: "When it comes to the real needs and concerns of South Carolinians, Mark Sanford has been pretty much missing in action for the last six-and-a-half years. But it is not acceptable for him to be actually missing."

Did he really think that the best way to keep an affair under wraps was to disappear for SIX DAYS without letting anybody know that he'd be gone or where he'd be going?

Over Father's Day weekend, no less.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:56 PM on June 24, 2009


Sanford's picture has been removed from the Values Voters Summit website.
posted by ericb at 12:59 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Has Fox ever made the mistake in the opposite direction, marking a D as an R? I'd be a lot less skeptical of the "oops mistake" claim if that had happened.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 1:01 PM on June 24, 2009


A commenter said this on Daily Kos:

This is his soulmate. You don't fly to Argentina for puntang. This man is torn.

You can see it in his eyes, he wants to go back there. If it weren't for Tom Davis, he'd be back there.


I'm inclined to agree. I doubt he went for that long to break it off.
posted by Locative at 1:02 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


...spent the last five days of my life crying in Argentina.

Don't Cry for Me Argentina. Cry for Tom Davis!
posted by ericb at 1:04 PM on June 24, 2009


Heh, Neal Cuevto on Fox said the Grand Ole Party is currently a Grand Ole Mess. Ok, FOX News, I'll like you for the next few minutes, but I'm not hiking the Appalachian Trail.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:04 PM on June 24, 2009


More like the Gland Olé Party.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:08 PM on June 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


I don't think the Sanford defense would work for me:

Yeah, about missing work last week, boss, there was just so much pressure that I had to get away and go hike the Appalachian Trail. And by "hike," I mean "fuck," and by "Appalachian Trail," I mean "Argentine Lover." Now that you've caught me, I realize that I was wrong. Jurassic Park. Bible Study. I'm really sorry, so I'll stop chairing one of my committees, and I'll just get back to work, ok? Oh, and sorry. No more questions.

Seriously, doesn't he have people to make up plausible excuses for him? My students who lose three grandmothers a semester are better liars.
posted by bibliowench at 1:08 PM on June 24, 2009 [9 favorites]


Yes, yes, thanks for the thread! I missed the presser but now it feels like I was there!
posted by cavalier at 1:09 PM on June 24, 2009


Well this has been fun.
posted by octothorpe at 1:11 PM on June 24, 2009


My students who lose three grandmothers a semester are better liars.

Hey...it's highly plausible that Sanford's four sons will be able to spin such an excuse. Three or four grandmothers are likely in their future.
posted by ericb at 1:11 PM on June 24, 2009


File under: Offshore Drilling.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:13 PM on June 24, 2009 [28 favorites]


Who paid for his flight to Argentina? (Sorry if this has already been asked).
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:13 PM on June 24, 2009


My students who lose three grandmothers a semester are better liars.

Amen. The semi-annual grammacide that occurs just prior to exams is something I almost look forward to. The brazen, it hurts.
posted by joe lisboa at 1:14 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Washington bilbe study group maybe-sort-of links fellow republican hypocrite/adulterers Ensign and Stanford.
posted by shothotbot at 1:14 PM on June 24, 2009


Mark Sanford: Stimulus money bad, just stimulus good.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:15 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


All the big SC political blogs are down, hah.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:20 PM on June 24, 2009


Amen. The semi-annual grammacide that occurs just prior to exams is something I almost look forward to. The brazen, it hurts.

My grandmother actually DID die while I was in college, and none of my professors believed me!
posted by brundlefly at 1:23 PM on June 24, 2009


An Argentinian mistress? Whatever happened to Buy American?
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 1:23 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was going to post this in the new thread that just got deleted:

---

I wonder how this ties in to Argentina's history with righting craziness. There are some ties to Latin American rightists and Republicans, a bond strengthened by lots of U.S. support for people like Pinoche and other fascists during the cold war. There are still a lot of ties. one (former) republican congressman actually married the daughter a Guatemalan dictator.
posted by delmoi at 1:23 PM on June 24, 2009


If the Repubs think he will get away with an apology and the idea that "God and his wife have forgiven him", he still has to explain to the heartland how he chose to be away from his kids over Father's Day to explore his cognitive dissonance issues.

If you think the outrage from the right will be over the cheating issues, you're a tad naive. This makes how many sitting members of the party of morals who have been caught abandoning their families and refusing to resign? I've got this guy, Ensign, and Vitter off the top of my head.

That said, ignoring the adultery (as if that was actually even remotely possible), the actual "why hasn't this fucker resigned yet" issue lies in the deliberate lying from his staff and the possible act of abandoning his role as the head of the state for a few days. Yeah, not like I really worried a Soviet nuke was gonna be heading for South Carolina any time soon but he shirked his duties here. The only reason the entire RNC hasn't called for his ass is because the Lt. Governor is a Democrat.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:23 PM on June 24, 2009


Who paid for his flight to Argentina? (Sorry if this has already been asked).

There's no hard documentation on that front (or of, really, any of the details as far as I know), but during the Q&A after his rambling statement, I'm pretty sure he dismissed the suggestion that the tickets were bought with public money.

Just a quick exchange amidst the hubbub, though, a reporter asking if it was government money and Sanford shaking his head quickly and saying like "no, of course not".
posted by cortex at 1:24 PM on June 24, 2009


http://www.scgovernor.com/

Server is too busy

More like gettin' busy, am I right? This guy over here knows what I'm talking about.
posted by ALongDecember at 1:26 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


The GOP are living a version of the movie Final Destination. Their impossible avoidance of consequences catches up to them sooner or later.

Their candidate in 2012 will be felled by careless piano movers.
posted by unsupervised at 1:29 PM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


The efforts of partisan operatives and the mainstream press to turn this into some sort of morality play about the virtues of "honesty" and "coming clean" should not go unremarked: first, because the man was caught at the airport after changing his flight to try and avoid the press; and second, because the governor of a state lied to his staff to ditch his official obligations. That he was cheating on his wife is salacious but irrelevant; the focus of discussion should be the abrogation of the job he was elected to do. And naturally he should resign.
posted by gerryblog at 1:32 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


First John Ensign's marriage, now Mark Sanford's. I don't know how all you married gay people can live with yourselves.
posted by EarBucket at 1:35 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Can we get a compendium of all the classic MeFi Republican sex scandals of the last few years on the sidebar?

I mean, at some point this starts to look like a pattern. Some point about five years ago. By now it's moved into the category of a rule.
posted by fourcheesemac at 1:35 PM on June 24, 2009


he still has to explain to the heartland how he chose to be away from his kids over Father's Day to explore his cognitive dissonance issues.

Hey, it's called Father's Day, not Be-With-Your-Kids-Day. If you hate your kids for binding you to a loveless hetero marriage, the greatest gift they can give you is some space.
posted by nomisxid at 1:36 PM on June 24, 2009


Let's assume there was no affair at all. Let's just say that he freaked out over the SC Legislature overturning all his vetoes and ran off to Argentina. That actually kinda makes things worse in terms of professional conduct.
posted by PenDevil at 1:37 PM on June 24, 2009


In a stunning twist, gerryblog posts comment linking to gerry's blog.
posted by milarepa at 1:39 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


The only reason the entire RNC hasn't called for his ass is because the Lt. Governor is a Democrat.

Um, no.

S.C. Lieutenant Governor André Bauer is a Republican.
posted by ericb at 1:41 PM on June 24, 2009


Cubby, back before Sanford hijacked the speedboat of his heart and piloted it into the twin rotting piers of disappointment and downlettedness.
posted by cortex at 1:43 PM on June 24, 2009


milarepa, yeah, sorry, but that's where I put my list of grievances about the press on this.
posted by gerryblog at 1:43 PM on June 24, 2009


Can we get a compendium of all the classic MeFi Republican sex scandals of the last few years on the sidebar?

Until then -- Republican Sex Scandals.
posted by ericb at 1:44 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


My grandmother actually DID die while I was in college, and none of my professors believed me!

You know, the second after I posted I felt a twinge of conscience that someone would make this exact point. I'm sorry, brundlefly: and for the record, all of my students get a free pass on family business, it's the ones who abuse it that complicate it for the genuinely bereaved.
posted by joe lisboa at 1:45 PM on June 24, 2009


S.C. Lieutenant Governor André Bauer is a Republican.

The second item under "Issues" on his website is the all-important matter of "I Believe" license plates. He's a model Republican circa 2009.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 1:49 PM on June 24, 2009


The second item under "Issues" on his website is the all-important matter of "I Believe" license plates.

I believe / when I fall in love / this time it will be forever

(apologies to Stevie)
posted by joe lisboa at 1:57 PM on June 24, 2009


as sung by Sanford, of course
posted by joe lisboa at 1:58 PM on June 24, 2009


I can't believe I've never thought to ask this before, but is there a sort of "Best Of Metafilter," maintained either on-site or off? If not, can there be one? If so (to either previous questions) can this thread be on it?
posted by Navelgazer at 1:58 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Weird, my mistake. Could have sworn S.C. had a Democratic Lt. Gov.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:02 PM on June 24, 2009


Fine. I resign as governor. Someone has to.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:02 PM on June 24, 2009


Press conference video.
posted by Combustible Edison Lighthouse at 2:10 PM on June 24, 2009


Didn't get to see it live, but watched it here at HuffPo. They have the entire 18:23 video.

Kind of weird the way his staff hustles him away from the podium at the end.
posted by marsha56 at 2:11 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


My grandmother actually DID die while I was in college, and none of my professors believed me!

Early in my teaching career I quickly became cynical about "death in the family" excuses. Then one day an especially wonderful student in one of my classes missed a week of lectures, and when she came back she swung by my office to explain. She told me she had to attend a funeral for a family member. Fine by me, I figured it was the usual exaggerated excuse, because she seemed so flat and calm. But something about her demeanor -- just a look in her eyes or something -- gave me pause, and I asked he who had died.

Her sister had been raped and murdered the week before. And here she was asking me how she could make up the work she had missed. Her apparent calm was a symptom of shock, not deception.

Needless to say, I walked her down to student counseling services and cut her some slack for the rest of the quarter (she actually did make up the missed work and did fine in the class).

Ever since then, I suspend my cynicism whenever I hear death-in-the-family excuses.

/derail
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:11 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Can we get a compendium of all the classic MeFi Republican sex scandals of the last few years on the sidebar?

Notable ones from the past five years:

Larry Craig
Mark Foley
Ted Haggard
Jim Gibbons
Jeff Gannon
Jack Ryan
posted by EarBucket at 2:12 PM on June 24, 2009 [12 favorites]


Well. Adultery is illegal in South Carolina.
posted by rtha at 2:12 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


But not in Argentina baby!
posted by PenDevil at 2:16 PM on June 24, 2009


Lucky he wasn't committing the crime in South Carolina, then.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:18 PM on June 24, 2009


Yeah, but that's one of those laws that are only on the books because no one's bothered to repeal them, like laws banning horses from wearing top hats on Main Street on Sunday. If sodomy laws are unconstitutional, there's no way you could enforce a law against sleeping around on the missus.
posted by EarBucket at 2:18 PM on June 24, 2009


Mrs. Sanford just released a pretty classy statement.
posted by EarBucket at 2:23 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


As Chrisissippi on DailyKos has pointed out, adultery is a *crime* in South Carolina.

6 months to a year's worth of crime, in fact. (I'd guess some of the specific sex acts enjoyed by our friend the Governor while on his Argentine excursions are illegal in SC too.)

But it's the queers who are destroying the sacred institution of marriage, right guv'nor? Well, a belated happy father's day to you!
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:25 PM on June 24, 2009


Philosoraptor weighs in on the issue.
posted by Dr-Baa at 2:25 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ah, on preview, what rtha said.
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:26 PM on June 24, 2009


Hey, check out the definition in rtha's link:

'Adultery' is the living together and carnal intercourse with each other or habitual carnal intercourse with each other without living together of a man and woman when either is lawfully married to some other person.

If you're not living together and you only have sex once (i.e. it's not habitual) then it's not adultery!

And if he'd only had a liason with another man that wouldn't have been adultery since adultery is only between one man and one woman, like God intended.
posted by XMLicious at 2:27 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks EarBucket! Loads of nostalgic fun in those threads.

By the way, the "crime" issue isn't so much that Gov. Sanford should or could be prosecuted, but that it's OK for him to do it offshore even though he presumably supports the laws against it in his own state.

As ever, the story here is the hypocrisy, not the sex.
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:28 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


If sodomy laws are unconstitutional, there's no way you could enforce a law against sleeping around on the missus.

Well, the unconstitutionality of sodomy laws is based on the privacy of two consenting adults. In the case of adultery, however, there is presumably at least one directly aggrieved party and one indirectly aggrieved party (i.e., the state that sanctioned the marital contract). Especially in states where gay marriage has successfully been banned in order to 'protect marriage' (such as SC), I would expect that criminalizing adultery can be supported on the same basis.

I'm not saying such laws ought to be constitutional, just that it's not actually clear to me that Lawrence impliedly invalidates anti-adultery laws or that they are so easily disposed of.

But I do agree that the real issues here are the hypocrisy and the coverup, not the underlying affair.
posted by jedicus at 2:30 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Lucky he wasn't committing the crime in South Carolina, then.
don't we have some federal law that says "if what you're doing over there would be illegal back in the US, we can prosecute you for it", that we use to nab sex-tourists coming back from Thailand?
posted by nomisxid at 2:30 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Are we actually sure the gov's Argentinian squeeze is a she?
posted by fourcheesemac at 2:33 PM on June 24, 2009


We've only got his word on it at the moment.
posted by PenDevil at 2:38 PM on June 24, 2009


No evidence for it yet, fcm, but I don't see any reason to assume he's lying at this point. He seemed to me like someone resigned to his fate by the end of the press conference, and I think he genuinely wanted to lay the whole story out there. (Which is smart, by the way, although doing that before the press got a hold of it would have been a hell of a lot smarter.) I'll be a little surprised if there are still shoes remaining to drop. You wouldn't knock me over with a feather or anything, but I suspect we got all the important details today.
posted by EarBucket at 2:38 PM on June 24, 2009


Both MSNBC and The State newspaper seem to know who she is, but they aren't printing names.

MSNBC said she was maried with 2 kids and the State published pictures of her apatment building and an interview with the doorman (did not recognize the Gov).

I went to get a link .... and The State's got emails:

http://www.thestate.com/sanford/story/839350.html
posted by julen at 2:49 PM on June 24, 2009


I invite all of my fellow South Carolinians to join me in demanding that this hypocrite resign. Send him back to his plantation! I just moved here and I can't believe they really still use that word.
posted by mareli at 2:49 PM on June 24, 2009


Shoot, meant to make that a hyperlink.

I meant to add that if it was a guy, MSNBC and the State would have been all over that fact.
posted by julen at 2:51 PM on June 24, 2009


I went to get a link .... and The State's got emails: http://www.thestate.com/sanford/story/839350.html

And the newspaper has had them since December 2008.
"Below are excerpts of e-mails, obtained by The State newspaper in December, between Gov. Mark Sanford and Maria, a woman in Buenos Aires, Argentina."
posted by ericb at 2:53 PM on June 24, 2009


I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ...

All else aside, he's a dirty paraleptic!
posted by cortex at 2:54 PM on June 24, 2009


The issue is that he abandoned his job for a week for an intercontinental booty call. His mistress is more important to him than the state which elected him governor. That's why he should lose his job.
posted by vibrotronica at 2:56 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


"You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light - but hey, that would be going into sexual details ..."
I'm waiting for the loofah line !
posted by ericb at 2:57 PM on June 24, 2009


"taking the family to China, Tibet, Nepal, India, Thailand and then back through Hong Kong on world wind tour" [sic]

A world wind tour? Jesus fucking Christ, South Carolinians.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:58 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well if he resigns as governor he's definitely got a job at Mills & Boon.
posted by PenDevil at 2:59 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


At this point Sanford is basically tostada.
posted by ericb at 2:59 PM on June 24, 2009


i mean seriously guys "world wind tour" is some family circus shit how did you elect this guy twice

even fuckin' bush wouldn't have said "world wind tour"
posted by Optimus Chyme at 3:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I will admit to a certain romantic sympathy for the guy reading those emails. Even douchebags can be in love.
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:08 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Printing the emails feels a little tacky. I'm not sure if that really serves the public interest in any way.
posted by EarBucket at 3:11 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'd like to take the opportunity to thank The State for sitting on those e-mails for SIX MONTHS. What journalism!

Seriously though, without their non-reporting we wouldn't have had MISSING GOVERNOR WEEKEND. '09.
posted by graventy at 3:16 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


What I'm not clear on is this. It sure sounds like, from his wife's statement, that he told her he went down there to break it off with this woman. Well and good, except:

1) Why in the world would he hem and haw during the press conference when asked if he'd done just that? That's the one question he should have been able to give a firm yes or no answer too.

2) It took six days? I can understand not wanting to do it over the phone (though that probably would have been the smart thing to do under the circumstances) but how can it possibly take six days to break off even the most torrid love affair?
posted by EarBucket at 3:16 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I will admit to a certain romantic sympathy for the guy reading those emails. Even douchebags can be in love.

No doubt. I've written -- and had stuff written to me -- that would look just as bad to anyone aside from myself and the other person if it ever saw the light of day.

He certainly deserves to lose his job as governor, but I hope he and everyone else affected by this find some measure of peace when the "world wind" dies down.
posted by lord_wolf at 3:17 PM on June 24, 2009


I can understand not wanting to do it over the phone (though that probably would have been the smart thing to do under the circumstances) but how can it possibly take six days to break off even the most torrid love affair?

It's Argentina! You gotta visit a steakhouse, drive down to Patagonia and check out those giant hamsters, stuff like that. Make a vacation out of the break-up.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:18 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thank you, Republicans, for once again providing an endlessly amusing, sad story of stupidity.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:20 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


"It took six days? I can understand not wanting to do it over the phone (though that probably would have been the smart thing to do under the circumstances) but how can it possibly take six days to break off even the most torrid love affair?"

He had to break it off in the bedroom, then break it off in the kitchen, then break it off in the dining room, then break it off in the shower, then break it off on the patio…
posted by klangklangston at 3:20 PM on June 24, 2009 [16 favorites]


It sure sounds like, from his wife's statement, that he told her he went down there to break it off with this woman.
And of course the fact that his wife broke the story that he was missing in the first place.
posted by PenDevil at 3:21 PM on June 24, 2009


In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.

Ouch. To have that all over the internets is terrible. He's going to have to resign.

I'm going to guess that he resigns Friday at 6:30 PM.
posted by Ironmouth at 3:34 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Must watch TV! New sitcom coming this Fall: Sanford & Sin.
posted by ericb at 3:39 PM on June 24, 2009 [11 favorites]


Our Governors in North Carolina keep their pants on. Instead they accept free airplane flights from people they later grant favors to, a sweetheart lease of a state-owned marina to his supporters, and getting a cushy job for his wife. No need to worry about embarrassing emails either.

Body count so far: 1 State University Chancellor, 1 University Provost, 1 University Chairman of the Board of Trustees.

South Carolina is much more entertaining.
posted by marxchivist at 3:45 PM on June 24, 2009


Seen recently on Twitter:

"The Appalachian Trail...according to the Sanford Map, goes from Maine to Tierra del Fuego now..."
posted by darkstar at 3:46 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Reading the excerpts from these e-mails in this thread, I begin to feel bad for him. There's a lot of sincerity in his words, and it's clear that there's a certain depth of emotion to them.

But then I remember he's married, and chose to drag his family into what he must have known was going to be their public humiliation once this inevitably, unavoidably came to light. He spent seven years heading towards this affair, could have held back but crossed the line anyway, then spent another year not breaking it off.

Kind of sleazy of the media to publish the e-mails, kind of sleazy of me to read them. Worse still is the very public suffering he's now putting his family through, that he had at least the past year to avoid. Yeah, nice of him to beseech reporters to leave his family alone. Too bad he's the asshole who made them the subject of national attention. Even if every news outlet in America takes the high road and avoids any contact with his family, his wife and kids still have to leave the house sometime, and face the pitying looks of their friends and neighbors. That's the public shame they'll have to live with, thanks to him and him alone.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:48 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Exactly. It's Argentina. Who's got time for messy breakups when you have two steaks to eat every day.
posted by emelenjr at 3:50 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


How do you solve a problem like Maria? Maybe not this way.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:51 PM on June 24, 2009


Before I knew what was going on, I really wanted to believe that he went down to Argentina thinking of all the hot, torrid beach sex he could get up to in the middle of June, not realizing it's getting freaking cold in the other hemisphere right about now. I keep picturing the hangdog look he'd have upon hearing the on-ground weather report during the approach to Buenos Aires; how he'd rue the a suitcase full of Be-dazzled man-kinis and Coppertone and wasted opportunity. His one carefully planned, financed, and secret fling from the hypocrisy of being a hard-line Christian fundamentalist Republican and he'd spend it scurrying from hotel to much-too-hip-for-his-age night club wearing overpriced airport shop clothes and coat. Some kind of hoodie with the slogan "No Problems in Argentina!" in neon appliqué and trackie bottoms á la the Argentina national football team. He'd watch all that youthful beauty and vigor having the time of its just-beginning life while downing enough cheap whiskey to give him the courage to ask the one lone girl at the end of the bar for a dance. How she'd cut him down with three words. How she positively rollled that Spanish 'r' when doing it. Then it turns out she was a he.

From there it's a short walk to the freezing surf. His body is never found.

But he was meeting a native, so that pretty much shoots my story out of the water.
posted by Fezboy! at 4:13 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe I missed it, but were these emails sent from his work account?
posted by rtha at 4:19 PM on June 24, 2009


They were billboards constructed at taxpayer expense.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:21 PM on June 24, 2009


...I wish.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:21 PM on June 24, 2009


Maybe I missed it, but were these emails sent from his work account?

elsanfordomuysexy@yahoo.com
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:27 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Can't read the emails, they mess everything up by reminding even jackasses can be human.

DAMN YOU EMAIL.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:28 PM on June 24, 2009


fourcheesemac: As ever, the story here is the hypocrisy, not the sex.

I would like this to replace "Fair and Balanced" for the Fox News Network. Thanks fourcheesemac!
posted by jeanmari at 4:30 PM on June 24, 2009


Fox News didn't exactly get this one right either. FYI the guy was from Iowa, not Ohio. But you know, real news doesn't happen here.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:31 PM on June 24, 2009


Below are excerpts of e-mails, obtained by The State newspaper in December, between Gov. Mark Sanford's personal e-mail account and Maria, a woman in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Personal e-email account? How did the State get their hands on them?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:31 PM on June 24, 2009


I would have guessed the staffers he hung out to dry, but they had those since December, they say.
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:33 PM on June 24, 2009


As someone who was reveling in schadenfreude earlier, a newspaper making those emails public is bullshit. Now I just feel sorry for the guy.

Not cool.
posted by Justinian at 4:40 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Totally agree. The guy's a hypocrite and a liar and deserves to be called out and held accountable. But there's no way that a newspaper should be publishing these private emails. That's not right.
posted by darkstar at 4:46 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am glad to see metafilter being consistent on personal/private email. You decide if I am being ironic or not.
posted by cjorgensen at 4:54 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ah. So there were some taxpayer funded trips to Argentina. Don't cry for him, Carolina.
posted by jeanmari at 5:01 PM on June 24, 2009


It took six days? I can understand not wanting to do it over the phone (though that probably would have been the smart thing to do under the circumstances) but how can it possibly take six days to break off even the most torrid love affair?

Day 1. Sex.
Day 2. Sex.
Day 3. Sex.
Day 4. Sex.
Day 5. Surprise anal sex.
Day 6. Break off affair, work on apology speech to wife and constituents.
posted by nicwolff at 5:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I am glad to see metafilter being consistent on personal/private email.

Ironic I would guess, though inaccurate is a better choice. Metafilter isn't a single person with a single, consistent viewpoint on the subject.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:03 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Metafilter isn't a single person with a single, consistent viewpoint on the subject.

I am too!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:04 PM on June 24, 2009


YOU AM NOT.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:08 PM on June 24, 2009


One of me. One of me. One of me.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:18 PM on June 24, 2009


I think he thought he was going to get away with it until the reporter from the State met him at the debarkation of his flight. Although she said it was a "hunch," I highly doubt it. Without doubt the paper called his office and told them they were going to run the E-mail story and that prompted that terrible presser this afternoon.
posted by Ironmouth at 5:23 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


No need to feel sorry for him because the emails are now public. Feel sorry for his wife and kids.
posted by Sailormom at 5:42 PM on June 24, 2009


Well, the two aren't mutually exclusive. The wife and kids are the real victims, of course. But twisting the knife by publishing the guy's love notes isn't cool, either.
posted by darkstar at 5:44 PM on June 24, 2009


The biggest It's Raining Florence Henderson of It's Raining Florence Henderson is indeed It's Raining Florence Henderson.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:46 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


But there's no way that a newspaper should be publishing these private emails. That's not right.

Fuck it. It's right in my book.

Expose the lying, hypocritical, "FAMILY VALUES," homophobe, right-wing conservative for what he is!

Expose him to the light of truth. Fuck him!
posted by ericb at 5:46 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I hope someone files a FOIA request for his e-mail correspondance conducted on S.C. state computers, networks, e-mail. No privacy for this lying hypocrite!
posted by ericb at 5:48 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here's the thing. For one thing, as much as I'd like to know more, I'm not going to read the emails. It's simply not cool to publish someone's private communicae. Even if it's news, even if it's juicy, even if it's revealing. Though it's nice to be able to connect the dots now and understand why The State was the only publication that had anyone waiting for him to get off of the plane in Atlanta.

For another thing, the guy definitely deserves to get shit thrown at him. He lied to his staff, had his staff repeat those lies to the press, and was derelict in his duties while remaining off the grid. There's no reason, really, that he couldn't have simply told his staff the same sort of thing many people were ready to believe when this broke - that he simply wanted to head down to Argentina and get some time to himself for a week. Nobody would have made a story, nobody would've cared. The Lt. Gov. might have tried to make hay out of it, but it wouldn't have worked, because the angle that got everyone interested was that he was missing. Instead, he did this incredibly weirdly and it got picked up. Huh.

But what's going to kill him politically isn't that he lied, or that he was missing, but that he had the affair. If he had showed up at the press conference and stuck to his story that he just wanted to "do something more exotic," (which I suppose was true, in a way) the story would have died within a news cycle or two. Or maybe not. The State had the emails, after all, and a few people would've kept sniffing around. Rather, I should say, if his original (as of this morning) story were actually true, the story would've died, and he might've even been able to use it as a springboard to national recognition.

But no, it's the sex. I feel required to link to the recent xkcd strip before I continue, but here I go. I am not polyamorous, and I never cheat - one of the few things in my life I can be ethically proud of. And the reason I don't cheat is because I don't want to hurt anyone I'm in a relationship with, because the grand, grand majority of people believe in monogamy, or at least that their partners should be monogamous (I've also been lucky to have never, as far as I know, be cheated on. I wonder if that sort of respect just naturally gets reciprocated.)

But in reality, safe-sex issues aside, in a better world we could have meaningful relationships with as many people as we could handle having meaningful relationships with, and sometimes those would be sexual, and that would simply be understood. And if people remained responsible to their families instead of jetting every time another affection took their fancy, there would be no betrayal, just an understanding that to be together emotionally and sexually with one person doesn't mean that you can't have a different but equally deep connection with someone else.

This is all probably moot, not only because very few people will get on board with what I'm saying, but also because Sanford himself, of course, either didn't believe that or couldn't admit to himself or his family that he did. Still, from the excerpts of the emails that've been reproduced here, it appears that he was truly in love with Maria, and was unable to reconcile that with the fact that he loved, and loves, Jenny as well. While I was watching the press conference earlier, and he seemed to be ready to cry the whole time (and admitted to having spent five nights crying in Argentina) it struck me that the tears might not have been about his political career, but rather about the fact that he loved two women, and that's not allowed.

He's not a good man. He believes that gays should have fewer rights than straights. He believes that women shouldn't be allowed to exercise control over their own bodies. I'm sure he believes a whole host of other horrible things which, by virtue of his position, become the policy for all of South Carolina. But that's not what he's getting grilled for. This is America, and so instead, he will be destroyed, politically, not for his evil stances, but for making a connection with another human being, halfway around the world, and being too weak to not want to continue that connection.

In other words, his career is dead because of one of the most human things he has done.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:50 PM on June 24, 2009 [9 favorites]


(and yes, I understand the hideousness of the deception towards Jenny and everything else that goes on in an affair. That is ugly and disrespectful to one's partner. It's just outside of my point, a little bit.)
posted by Navelgazer at 5:51 PM on June 24, 2009


*correspondence*
posted by ericb at 5:51 PM on June 24, 2009


But no, it's the sex.

I disagree. It's the lying, the obfuscation and the "cover-up" that'll do him in.
posted by ericb at 5:53 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's the misuse of public funds that will do him in. Everything else is forgiveable with a tear and a prayer.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:56 PM on June 24, 2009


Baby Jesus weeps for Mark Sanford and forgives him for his sins.
posted by ericb at 5:57 PM on June 24, 2009


That's funny; when I spoke to Baby Jesus about this, Baby Jesus told me, and I quote, "Fuck that guy."
posted by Flunkie at 5:59 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


All very amusing, but when is the country going to grow up? Perhaps if we as a culture didn't feel the need to endlessly judge and interfere and freak out about sexuality, gay, straight, whatever - human - there'd be fewer lies, fewer affairs, and fewer scandals. Of course, that would also mean that we couldn't build whole careers on fighting culture wars against "teh gay", or for "family values", "marriage" and "what about the kids". Grow up already, America.

Fun as it's been to watch the hunter fall into his own trap, I must say, at the end of the day, reading excerpts from the emails posted here, the laughter died in my throat. It seems merely depressing in the big picture - the whole culture. We can natter on about personal responsibility, but the whole setup stinks, and I don't feel like laughing - even if the victim here is actually one of the supporters and architects of this setup.
posted by VikingSword at 6:00 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's the misuse of public funds that will do him in.

If only such were to apply to Sarah ("I can see Argentina from my porch") Palin.
posted by ericb at 6:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


The wife's statement was pure class. She and her children have my sympathy, and I hope the press leave them alone.

The Governor really seems to be in love with Maria. I could even understand a decision to leave everything behind to go and spend his life with her, but this whole Jurassic Park Jesus Apology parade is annoying. Actions like this are why people roll their eyes at "true believers", because true belief has become nothing more than a banner to unfurl at the first sign that you've gotten caught doing something immoral.
posted by dejah420 at 6:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


but when is the country going to grow up?

When the very last one of these conservative panderers has fallen on his sword. AKA Probably never.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:03 PM on June 24, 2009


Until it came out that there were actual e-mails, I still figured "Maria" was a code-word for "methamphetamine and anonymous sex with men."
posted by subbes at 6:04 PM on June 24, 2009


Totally agree. The guy's a hypocrite and a liar and deserves to be called out and held accountable. But there's no way that a newspaper should be publishing these private emails. That's not right.

Yeah, really. We should be staying out of his private business, especially in the bedroom, in exactly the same way he has stayed out of everyone else's.
posted by DU at 6:06 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


DU: you're right, but I'd prefer the moral high ground on this one to fighting in the gutter.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:09 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Jesus wept. The guy is a governor of a state who left the country for six days without telling anyone where he was going. The sex is ancillary.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:11 PM on June 24, 2009


The sex is ancillary.

I think they have a pill for that, now.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:13 PM on June 24, 2009


Since I didn't cheat on my wife and let my employees lie on my behalf, I think I already have the moral high ground. Also, I think we have plenty of high moral ground and dry powder, it's time to start asking for wedding bells.
posted by DU at 6:23 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


The State reporter on MSNBC says the emails came from an anonymous tipster. My new suspect is Mrs. Sanford.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:28 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


You know what would be awesome? If Ms. Sanford is intentionally destroying her husband to make way for her own gubernatorial bid. That would be some straight-up Machiavelli shit right there, yo.
posted by Avenger at 6:32 PM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


Ok first I'm kicking myself for not subscribing to the comments to this thread in the first place when I could have been following this in real time earlier today.

Second - someone help me here, since I've not caught up on all the links - where in the hooha did they get a hold of those emails?????? From a Post article I've got this quote "This evening, The State newspaper in Columbia released some of the e-mails between Sanford and the woman that it said it had been holding since December." But I'm interested in how the paper got them in the first place. I have zero sympathy for this guy, but I'm always suspicious when I hear the "oh look, we just happen to have been hanging onto this correspondence, don't ask how we got it, just read it!"

Also - sooo who called it as an affair way way up in the thread ages ago? Jokingly perhaps, but it was the right call.
posted by batgrlHG at 6:33 PM on June 24, 2009


Oops! Missing CunningLinguist's comment at 6:28! Let me know if anyone finds an "I leaked it" confession anywhere.
posted by batgrlHG at 6:34 PM on June 24, 2009


Ironmouth called it right from comment #1. I guess sometimes the first impression really IS the right one.
posted by darkstar at 6:37 PM on June 24, 2009


I've been battling the flu all day.

I really should take some Nyquil and tuck in.

But.

If I can wait just. one. more. hour. Daily Show.
posted by jeanmari at 6:44 PM on June 24, 2009


Thanks for the awesome play-by-play...I love you Metafilter!
posted by schyler523 at 6:46 PM on June 24, 2009


Since I didn't cheat on my wife and let my employees lie on my behalf, I think I already have the moral high ground. Also, I think we have plenty of high moral ground and dry powder, it's time to start asking for wedding bells.

I'm not saying you don't. What I'm saying is that (1) you won't be getting your wedding bells from this guy, even if he somehow retains his post, (2) crying that private lives should be private while denying that to people who fight against a right to privacy may be deliciously ironic, and even close to just, but it is still hypocrisy, even if well intentioned, and (3) that hypocrisy won't win anybody over to the good fight, and is likely to just divide things even further.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:47 PM on June 24, 2009


CunningLinguist said: The State reporter on MSNBC says the emails came from an anonymous tipster. My new suspect is Mrs. Sanford.

I'd bet money on the oldest son before I'd think that Mrs. Sanford was that stupid. The kid isn't old enough to understand what the repercussions would be, whereas she is a smart woman with political chops...and if there is one thing I know, it's what Southern women will do when they've been wronged in affaires du coeur. Sending letters like those to the press...letters that prove your husband *loves* someone else...no. No. Wouldn't happen.

Out him for sticking his dick somewhere? Sure. Make him a sympathetic character while doing it? Oh...but, no.

I think it's probably a staffer or something. But I'd be willing to bet my debutante gloves that Mrs. The Gov didn't do it.
posted by dejah420 at 6:47 PM on June 24, 2009


If I read those emails from my husband I would be so blinded by rage and pain I would want to destroy him and I wouldn't think anything through.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:50 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


More on the shadowy bible study / cheater support group which may be known as The Family.
posted by shothotbot at 6:56 PM on June 24, 2009


And he goes out driving his heavy machinery in the middle of the night to assuage his lovesickness. Sick mofo!
posted by mareli at 7:02 PM on June 24, 2009


For one thing, as much as I'd like to know more, I'm not going to read the emails. It's simply not cool to publish someone's private communicae. Even if it's news, even if it's juicy, even if it's revealing.

Even if it's Dick Cheney personally authorizing the rape of children?
posted by five fresh fish at 7:08 PM on June 24, 2009


Even if it's Dick Cheney personally authorizing the rape of children?

There's a big difference, to me, between someone's communications being revealed because they indicate illegal transgressions and the same thing happening because people think someone deserves to be humiliated for being a bad person. I'm pretty much with Navelgazer on the unseemliness, to me, of these emails being circulated.
posted by jessamyn at 7:13 PM on June 24, 2009 [6 favorites]


More on the shadowy bible study / cheater support group which may be known as The Family.

Previous MeFi thread (April 2008) on "The Family" (aka "The Fellowship"): Political Ties To a Secretive Religious Group.

Jeff Sharlet's book: The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power
“They are ‘the Family’—fundamentalism’s avant-garde, waging spiritual war in the halls of American power and around the globe. They consider themselves the ‘new chosen,’ congressmen, generals, and foreign dictators who meet in confidential ‘cells,’ to pray and plan for a ‘leadership led by God,’ to be won not by force but through ‘quiet diplomacy.’ Their base is a leafy estate overlooking the Potomac in Arlington, Virginia, and Jeff Sharlet is the only journalist to have written from inside its walls.

The Family is about the other half of American fundamentalist power—not its angry masses, but its sophisticated elites. Sharlet follows the story back to Abraham Vereide, an immigrant preacher who in 1935 organized a small group of businessmen sympathetic to European fascism, fusing the Far Right with his own polite but authoritarian faith. From that core, Vereide built an international network of fundamentalists who spoke the language of establishment power, a ‘family’ that thrives to this day. In public, they host prayer breakfasts; in private they preach a gospel of ‘biblical capitalism,’ military might, and American empire. Citing Hitler, Lenin, and Mao, Doug Coe, the Family’s current leader, declares, ‘We work with power where we can, build new power where we can’t.’

Sharlet’s discoveries dramatically challenge conventional wisdom about American fundamentalism, revealing its crucial role in the unraveling of the New Deal, the waging of the Cold War, and the no-holds-barred economics of globalization. The question Sharlet believes we must ask is not ‘What do fundamentalists want?’ but ‘What have they already done?’”
posted by ericb at 7:13 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Once we start allowing people to marry Argentinians, because you know, the poly-amorphous marriage, whatever they call it, you can marry 18 people, you can marry a duck, I mean… Well, why, you know, if you're in love with the duck, who is the society to tell you you can't do that?

Vote No on Proposition 69: The Argentinian Marriage Rights Bill.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:17 PM on June 24, 2009


From links on that Famlies page:
Meet ‘The Family’

GNN: What are some this group’s core ideas and what level of secrecy is involved here?

SHARLET: The goal is an “invisible” world organization led by Christ — that’s what they aspire to. They are very explicit about this if you look in their documents, and I spent a lot of time researching in their archives. Their goal is a worldwide invisible organization. That’s their word, and that’s important because it sounds so crazy.

What they mean when they say “a world organization led by Christ” is that literally you just sit there and let Christ tell you what to do. More often than not that leads them to a sort of paternalistic benign fascism. There are a lot of places that they’ve done good things, and that’s important to acknowledge. But that also means they might be involved with General Suharto in Indonesia and if that means that God leads him to kill half a million of his own citizens then, well, it would prideful to question God leading them…
God, I hate religious idiocy.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:26 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


It could have also come from the girlfriend's end - Sr. Maria or one of her kids.

As the person who posted the link to the email (as an add-on to my attempt to show it probably was an affair with a woman), I admit I did have a qualm after I pressed submit. Reading those emails does make him more real and less of a caricature, but reading someone else's emails - like some memoirs - can make you feel like a voyeur or that you are treading on private land. Plus it maims my shaudenfreude.

I guess I'm hoping he wrote them from his .gov/.sc.us account, whose content would/could eventually become public.
posted by julen at 7:27 PM on June 24, 2009


Too bad this doesn't focus on more serious issues. I was so, so, hoping a journalist would stand up and ask him: "Governor, I just spoke to two women, who have been in love for 50 years, and now close to death, still cannot get married. Is it still your position, that you deserve all the benefits of marriage, and they do not? Could you please explain, how did those two women destroy your marriage?". Of course, the journalist would probably be fired shortly thereafter, but it would've been worth it, just to get that out there, for all of America to see and ponder.
posted by VikingSword at 7:28 PM on June 24, 2009 [13 favorites]


Here's a message to everyone from RedState.com:
To majority media and other Democrats : we police our own, and you don’t get to judge.
By all means report the facts. I’m sure you’ll be happy to cover every salacious detail. Have at it. Be sure to cover the pain and suffering of Governor Sanford’s family. While you are at it, cover the depth to which all South Carolina and nation-wide Republicans and conservatives rightly feel betrayed.

Beyond that, just shut up. Shut your lying, hypocritical, power-above-patriotism, hyper-partisan, two-faced, shamelessly double-standard bearing pie hole.
You don’t get to judge.
The right-wing seems just a little bit defensive today, huh?
posted by octothorpe at 7:32 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's simply not cool to publish someone's private communicae.

Were these emails sent from his personal email account or from his gubernatorial account? For me, that's the difference.

While it might not be "cool," if he sent them from his office email, then they are, in some sense, fair game for the public.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:33 PM on June 24, 2009


To majority media and other Democrats : we police our own, and you don’t get to judge.

I remember when the Republicans held themselves to that same standard over Clinton and Monicagate.

Although, pointing out political hypocrisy is a bit like counting grains of sand on the beach.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:34 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Beyond that, just shut up. Shut your lying, hypocritical, power-above-patriotism, hyper-partisan, two-faced, shamelessly double-standard bearing pie hole.
You don’t get to judge.


AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!


Sorry - that's just too rich. Who says conservatives don't know how to do political humor?
posted by darkstar at 7:38 PM on June 24, 2009


I agree it was tacky and invasive to publish the email. But on the other hand, one of the best ways to clean up our political systems is to completely open them to public scrutiny. I am not sure where the line should be drawn: the intersection of legal and illegal is clearly a good place to start, but what of the intersection of moral and immoral, and who is to judge that? In the eyes of his constituents, it seems likely that what he has done would be considered very immoral, and perhaps even illegal.

Nonetheless, in this case it seems he has more than enough rope to hang himself: publication of the email is mere titillation beyond need, IMO.

From what people have been saying about the emails, it sounds like a really sad situation all around. If he found true love, he will not be able to have a quality relationship with his current wife. Wat a thoroughly shitty thing for everyone involved. :-(
posted by five fresh fish at 7:39 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oh my god. Octothorpe, you should have kept quoting:

"You show no honor, no equity, no fairness, and no scruples yourselves. You, to put it mildly, do not police your own.
We do. We’ll deal with Sanford. We have standards (you don’t), and we have a long history of punishing and purging our leaders who prove unworthy of trust. For your part, serial adulterer Bill Clinton remains a rock star as far as you are concerned, and that about sums up the standards to which Democrats hold themselves..
So, spare us your mock outrage, your tut-tutting, your finger-wagging, your eyebrows furrowed in anger. If you are well and truly outraged by Mark Sanford’s adultery, but could not trouble yourself to muster even a little mild disapproval against the cretin who wiped his feet with the honor of the office of President of the United States, then you are a hypocrite yourself of the lowest stripe. You are unworthy to judge."

Awesome. Let's not bring up Giuliani or Gingrich or hell, even Ensign and Vitter are still in office.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:40 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I laugh and I laugh and I laugh.

Fuck you, RedState.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:45 PM on June 24, 2009


Lest we forget: Sanford called on Clinton to resign.
“The standard Sanford has set for other politicians over the years has been fairly high. A member of the House of Representatives during the heyday of the Clinton-Lewinsky affair, he was often a harsh critic of the president for his marital misconduct.

This is ‘very damaging stuff,’ Sanford declared at one point, when details of Clinton's conduct became known. ‘I think it would be much better for the country and for him personally (to resign)... I come from the business side,’ he said. ‘If you had a chairman or president in the business world facing these allegations, he'd be gone.’

Explaining his decision to back impeachment articles against Clinton, he added, ‘I think what he did in this matter was reprehensible... I feel very comfortable with my vote.’”
posted by ericb at 7:46 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Politico.com: Some Mark Sanford trips to Argentina were taxpayer-paid.
posted by ericb at 7:47 PM on June 24, 2009


I want to know which homosexual destroyed Sanford's sacred marriage vow, you know, that thing between ONE man and ONE woman.

WHERE'S YOUR GODDAMN GOD NOW MOTHERFUCKER?!

Oh right, he's judging your hypocritical, lying ass.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:54 PM on June 24, 2009


Mark Sanford:
"The bottom line in politics is, I think, at the end of the day to be effective in standing for both the convictions that drove you into office and the principles that you outlined in running. And that is not restrained to simply the world of Caesar, it applies to what you think is right and wrong and everything in between."
posted by ericb at 7:55 PM on June 24, 2009


God, I really, really wish they hadn't printed these e-mails.

Unfortunately, I think they make him seem more sympathetic.

Crap!!
posted by marsha56 at 7:58 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


where in the hooha did they get a hold of those emails??????

Thank God for the Patriot Act.
posted by mazola at 8:00 PM on June 24, 2009


We Buy and Sell Junk!
posted by ericb at 8:01 PM on June 24, 2009


You know ... this is starting to just seem sad to me.

I don't like his politics. I disagree with his beliefs. It even seems reasonable to me if he is forced to resign over this -- not because of the affair, but because he vanished from his job for six days. How many of us would get to keep our jobs after that?

But ... a guy has an affair, his wife finds out, she eventually asks for a separation, and he cracks up and goes to see his lover without thinking about consequences, maybe without caring at that moment. When he comes back, of course, everything goes to hell.

I'm not feeling schadenfreude. I'm not reveling in the salacious details. I'm just thinking, jeez. How human, and sad.
posted by kyrademon at 8:01 PM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


(I also think he's a hypocrite, and based on his positions, probably an asshole; and if he used public money for this, most likely a criminal as well. I'm not really trying to defend him. I'm trying to say ... maybe he deserves both our hatred and our sympathy. Is that possible?)
posted by kyrademon at 8:03 PM on June 24, 2009 [8 favorites]


I'm just thinking, jeez. How human, and sad.

See: Greek Tragedy.

Also, see: hubris and nemesis.
posted by ericb at 8:06 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Pipped at the post by ericb!

Spot on, bro.
posted by darkstar at 8:10 PM on June 24, 2009


if he used public money for this, most likely a criminal as well
As rtha pointed out, he's definitely a criminal, regardless of whether he used public money for this or not.

Of course, I don't think that that law should be a law, but I wouldn't be surprised if a reporter asked Sanford about it last week, he would have given it full-throated Jesus-approved approval.
posted by Flunkie at 8:11 PM on June 24, 2009


How human, and sad.

Empathy...
posted by R. Mutt at 8:12 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


All very amusing, but when is the country going to grow up? Perhaps if we as a culture didn't feel the need to endlessly judge and interfere and freak out about sexuality, gay, straight, whatever - human - there'd be fewer lies, fewer affairs, and fewer scandals.

We can what-if this all night, but I have a feeling that even if everyone in America was totally a-ok with all kinds of sexuality, people would still be upset that the governor of a state a) disappeared for several days to be with his mistress and b) conducted this affair on their dime.

I'm just thinking, jeez. How human, and sad.

Lots of things are human. And I agree with marsha56 that the publication of the e-mails was such a crap move that it inspires sympathy for the man. But then I remember he had a whole year to realize, "Hey, I'm an elected official holding a pretty important office, and if this affairs gets out - which it certainly will if I don't stop it - it's not just my ass on the line, but will always mean my wife and kids get to be nationally shamed by my transgession" and kept chugging along anyway until he got busted. And then summoned tears of remorse for his good friend Tom Davis.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:13 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm trying to say ... maybe he deserves both our hatred and our sympathy. Is that possible?

Sure.

He's has my sympathies for being all too human and buckling under and acting like the typical self-centered jackass hypocrite cheater instead of being an adult and thinking of others.

Time to put up or shut up Sanford. Resign or continue being Governor and admit that the world is more complex than black and white.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:14 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Clip and save time!

Here's a handy dandy list of political sex scandals from the last 10 years.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:18 PM on June 24, 2009


We can what-if this all night, but I have a feeling that even if everyone in America was totally a-ok with all kinds of sexuality, people would still be upset that the governor of a state a) disappeared for several days to be with his mistress and b) conducted this affair on their dime.

Thanks, that's exactly my point. If we were adults about sex, we'd be able to focus on the real issues. The real issues in this escapade are exactly what you outlined, but to a large part of America, these get second billing, if not complete obliteration under the titillation and/or outrage (some faux) of the sex part - the RedState type voters are a particularly glaring example. So again, America, grow up - so we can talk about issues like grown-ups, instead of beavis and butthead "heh, heh, he said "sex"".
posted by VikingSword at 8:26 PM on June 24, 2009


I'm not feeling schadenfreude. I'm not reveling in the salacious details. I'm just thinking, jeez. How human, and sad.

The thing is (and this is where the schadenfreude comes in for me) ... is that Republicans don't really allow themselves to have "human" sexualities.

You and I understand that people (lots of people, actually) have affairs and fall in love with others after they've been married for along time. All judgments aside, we realize that it happens -- and I would go so far to say that it's probably unavoidable in many cases. Sad, bittersweet, unjust, human.

But the conservative/Christian mindset condemns human nature and demands that it's adherents follow a god-like code of behavior where men (let alone married men!) aren't even supposed to masturbate or even think about nekkid ladies. So, to us his emails show a tragic, human side to his personality -- but to his followers they reveal a horrible, sinful black spot on his soul.

To me, that's the main difference between conservative/Christian vs. liberal/secular attitudes towards non-standard sexuality: one is accepting of human nature, the other seeks to annihilate human nature and replace it with a new supernatural in-human nature.
posted by Avenger at 8:33 PM on June 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


You know, I hope it was one of his (or her, the whore) kids that spilled the beans. Have you ever been the kid of a parent who is cheating on another parent? Fuck. That.

May you never. He's getting off easy.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:38 PM on June 24, 2009


The "whore"? Really?
posted by Avenger at 8:40 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


The thing is (and this is where the schadenfreude comes in for me) ... is that Republicans don't really allow themselves to have "human" sexualities.
Yes they do. They don't allow others to do so.
posted by Flunkie at 8:42 PM on June 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm with Brandon Blatcher and MSTPT. It's the hypocrisy. It's the lack of regard for the feelings of his own family. It's the double standard of "J'ACCUSE, [INSERT DEMOCRAT NAME HERE]!"
and at the same time, *sob*, "I'm so SORRY...I'm human...I didn't MEAN IT....I was weak...It's not my fauuuuuult."

I'm tired of important issues like education and human rights and homelessness and hunger getting pushed aside by these jerks in glass houses hurling stones who are seeking to distract the rest of us from real issues with their moralizing and manufactured outrage.

Sorry, I can't find anything funny to say about that. RedState is frothing at the mouth about Kennedy and Clinton? Oh, please. Give me a break. As fourcheesemac said above, it's about the rampant hypocrisy and the witch hunts by people who have skeletons in their own closets. If you cloak yourself in righteousness and try to use that as justification for the power you grab and the decisions you defend, you better damn well believe that when your cloak falls off to expose your sorry, lying, cheating ass, that someone will be more than happy to dismantle the temple that you built to your own virtue and morality.
posted by jeanmari at 8:42 PM on June 24, 2009 [17 favorites]


(To clarify, fourcheesemac referenced the hypocrisy versus the sex. The rest of the rant was mine. Sorry for any confusion.)
posted by jeanmari at 8:45 PM on June 24, 2009


RedState is frothing at the mouth about Kennedy and Clinton? Oh, please. Give me a break. ...it's about the rampant hypocrisy and the witch hunts by people who have skeletons in their own closets. If you cloak yourself in righteousness and try to use that as justification for the power you grab and the decisions you defend, you better damn well believe that when your cloak falls off to expose your sorry, lying, cheating ass, that someone will be more than happy to dismantle the temple that you built to your own virtue and morality.

I need a pony that will let me favorite this many, many times over.
posted by marsha56 at 8:50 PM on June 24, 2009


I should also point out that I'm more than a little pissed off lately, because, yeah. I'll out myself. I'm a Christian of the Sojourner, Christian Left variety who takes a lot of crap from non-Christians for the antics of the Christian Right (takes a lot of crap from the Christian Right about not being a conservative lemming). I'm getting pretty tired of the whole lot of them and their twisted, self-serving agenda. /end rant
posted by jeanmari at 8:56 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'll out myself. I'm a Christian of the Sojourner, Christian Left variety

Thanks, jeanmari. When I hear someone is a Christian, I (shamefully) have an involuntary retching response. I know that is wrong, and immediately chastise myself. And I keep reminding myself of all the awesome Christian folks out there, and it really helps. So thanks again - we all have our prejudices, and it's good to be confronted by real people, instead of responding to stereotypes.
posted by VikingSword at 9:08 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone notice how this has knocked the Iran protests out of the top news spot? I think it was all arranged by Khamenei and Ahmadinejad.
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:13 PM on June 24, 2009


(I've also been lucky to have never, as far as I know, be cheated on. I wonder if that sort of respect just naturally gets reciprocated.)

Trust me, it does not.

You know, I hope it was one of his (or her, the whore) kids that spilled the beans.

Beg your bloody pardon, but Wacky Tangerine Fanta?

Also, I think the wife did it. The few Southern Ladies I have known always played the long game--and always stacked the deck.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:18 PM on June 24, 2009


That's okay, VikingSword. That retching response is the same one I get when I see Falwell or Buchanan. I deal with it by closing my eyes and whispering, "Social justice, social justice" until the nausea passes. I've always been pretty reserved and private about my beliefs and was happy to stay that way until the GWB's administration forced me out into the fray so that the Christian Right wouldn't hijack a whole religion. I almost didn't post that bit above there, outing myself yet again (especially on Mefi) but I'll be damned if I'm going to let these extremists define me or others like me. Obviously, a hippy-dippy, big tent, justice seeker like me wouldn't exactly be welcomed with open arms at your local fundamentalist prayer meeting :)
posted by jeanmari at 9:26 PM on June 24, 2009 [8 favorites]


You know, I hope it was one of his (or her, the whore) kids that spilled the beans.

I'm assuming that refers to the "Maria" in question, since she was cheating on her spouse, too. Takes two to tango (or, in this case, do the horizontal mambo).

Of course, one assumes that Maria isn't a right-wing politician who built her career on moralizing to others about "family values"...
posted by darkstar at 9:30 PM on June 24, 2009


(or her, the whore)

Stay classy.
posted by rtha at 9:44 PM on June 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: Just like a Tom Davis to me...
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:54 PM on June 24, 2009


What I realize watching the presser again is how Sanford lays it out. By spending 7+ minutes on moral absolutes and God's law and apologies, he lays the groundwork for why he descended to talk to us about going missing for six days to have a hypocritical affair. He's not answering for what happened to South Carolina, he's doing it because God demands it.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:58 PM on June 24, 2009


(or her, the whore)

Yeah, less of that, please.
posted by cortex at 10:11 PM on June 24, 2009 [7 favorites]


FWIW, an article in the Washington Post points out, that: "But he actually had left the governor's mansion in a state-issued SUV and jetted to Buenos Aires, where he spent five days with the woman."

So, he was using a tax-payer funded vehicle for his private pursuits. That cannot be a positive. I wonder what the laws and regulations are in NC regarding usage of state-issued vehicles. Is there clear-cut illegality involved? Regardless of legality - what is certainly involved is hypocrisy - this from a guy who screamed about how sacred tax-payer money is, and who cut every program he could, calling them "wasteful". So wasteful is bad, except when he does the wasting. Never mind the sex. What about his blatant hypocrisy on the issues he chose to wrap himself around?
posted by VikingSword at 10:51 PM on June 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone notice how this has knocked the Iran protests out of the top news spot? I think it was all arranged by Khamenei and Ahmadinejad.

Seriously. TPM's crowing about how the NYT isn't giving Sanford enough attention, but Iran is totally off its own front page. For all the old media/new media debate, it would be nice to have some form of media without ADD.
posted by egg drop at 10:52 PM on June 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


"Well, the two aren't mutually exclusive. The wife and kids are the real victims, of course. But twisting the knife by publishing the guy's love notes isn't cool, either."

Regardless, that's How We Do Things here in the political US. Public humiliation is part of the deal if you're a politician who gets caught. It's pretty salacious, and I don't much like that the media circus is like this, but Sanford surely knew as much when he got mixed up in it. The emails make it pretty difficult for him to continue in his position.
posted by krinklyfig at 11:08 PM on June 24, 2009


The State's emails are apparently the only reason he admitted anything. He was still yammering about wanting an exotic solo trek when he arrived back. He didn't call the press conference until after he was told the newspaper had evidence of what he'd really been doing.
If they had not run the excerpts, I imagine people would have accused the paper of protecting him.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:14 AM on June 25, 2009 [3 favorites]


"So, he was using a tax-payer funded vehicle for his private pursuits. That cannot be a positive. I wonder what the laws and regulations are in NC SC regarding usage of state-issued vehicles."

Please, this is happening in South Carolina, not North Carolina. As I noted above, we have our own embarrassments. In the state I work for, people at my level can get in a lot of trouble for using state vehicles for non-state business.
posted by marxchivist at 4:32 AM on June 25, 2009


...people think someone deserves to be humiliated for being a bad person.

Whoa whoa whoa. I don't think his privacy should be violated because he's a bad person. I think his privacy should be violated because HE thinks his privacy should be violated. (A simple corollary of his position that the privacy of gays should be violated.)
posted by DU at 6:01 AM on June 25, 2009


I've been trying, really trying to get my head wrapped around this. When are these guys going to get it? While I am sure that there are women do this as well, I say guys because majority of the news stories about this sort of thing are generally about the men. Unfair, yes.

Maybe I'm just naive, but this shit upsets me.

*sigh*
posted by mnb64 at 6:28 AM on June 25, 2009


Re Southern Ladies - according to Wikipedia (and to the cached scgovernor.com page) Jenny Sanford was born and raised in Winnetka, Illinois. She has only been in SC since the 1990s.
posted by yarrow at 6:32 AM on June 25, 2009


For all the old media/new media debate, it would be nice to have some form of media without ADD.

I turned on my local NPR station on my drive home last night. Obama's chief science advisor was discussing the latest global warming report. Not a word on Sanford. This further reinforced my belief that my regular contributions to the station are worthwhile.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:44 AM on June 25, 2009 [4 favorites]


I'm not feeling schadenfreude. I'm not reveling in the salacious details. I'm just thinking, jeez. How human, and sad.

This guy doesn't give a shit about you or his wife or his kids or even his mistress or anyone but himself. A lot of gross, stupid things are human - but why do so many of you insist on immediate and total forgiveness, no strings attached, no questions asked, no remorse needed? He's only crying because he got caught.

oh genocide is human we could all be evil hannah arendt merf a moomp-boo

He fucking abandoned his job for a week to get his bone on. During a trial separation so he and his wife could work out their issues. On Father's Day. You don't think that should have consequences? I don't normally give a shit about anyone's sex life, but this guy made a career out of demonizing homosexuals and he voted to impeach Clinton for a far lesser offense - Clinton didn't disappear for a week, recall. So save your fake-ass look-at-me tears for someone who deserves it.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 6:55 AM on June 25, 2009 [6 favorites]


He's a big fucking baby with so little moral gravity he has to use a bible to find his way through a life of utter privilege. He's not worth an ounce of snot.
posted by docpops at 7:28 AM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


"I better stop now least this really sound like the Thornbirds"

The full text of the emails is now up.

Honestly, this sounds to me like a middle aged man deluding himself into thinking his midlife crisis is a grand tragic love affair. He is so much more passionate and articulate than she is; what he gets from her besides hot sex isn't clear. It's both poignant and infuriating.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:40 AM on June 25, 2009


This guy doesn't give a shit about you or his wife or his kids or even his mistress or anyone but himself.
Optimus Chyme


This.
posted by toastedbeagle at 7:48 AM on June 25, 2009


...how can it possibly take six days to break off even the most torrid love affair?

I'll bet it involves ordering room service. A lot.
posted by malocchio at 7:50 AM on June 25, 2009


at long last, I realize why South Carolina wanted to shut down Craigslist's "Casual Encounters" section.
posted by soda pop at 8:19 AM on June 25, 2009


New York Times:
"About six months ago, an anonymous tipster sent The State newspaper in Columbia, S.C., copies of e-mail messages supposedly exchanged between Gov. Mark Sanford and a woman named Maria in Argentina.

Reporters sent e-mail back to the originating e-mail address and to the woman, whose e-mail address was included, in an effort to verify that the messages were genuine. They never heard back, and so the paper did not publish them until Wednesday, after Mr. Sanford admitted having an affair.

'We had not determined they were authentic,' Leroy Chapman, the political editor at The State, said of the e-mail. 'What it was, was a puzzle piece that was hardly discernible.'

It took a second tip — this time that the governor was on an airplane from Argentina — for the paper to put together the story.

....On Tuesday, The State received its second tip, this time from an airline passenger who said, according to Mr. Chapman: “We’ve seen your governor on an airplane. He’s not on the Appalachian Trail.” This tipster suggested that the governor would be returning from Argentina.

Mr. Chapman dispatched Gina Smith, a political reporter, to the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport on Wednesday morning to meet a flight from Buenos Aires. 'He definitely was surprised to see me, and I was equally surprised to see him,' said Ms. Smith, in an interview on MSNBC. 'It was just sort of a hunch that he would show up at the airport in Atlanta.'

Late Wednesday, The State posted several of the e-mail messages it received in December on its Web site and was to print more in Thursday’s paper. But with one mystery solved, another endures: Mr. Chapman said he still did not know who sent the e-mail to the paper in the first place. 'It’s kind of a moot point,' he said, 'but I’m still curious.'"
posted by ericb at 8:33 AM on June 25, 2009


Analysis of Sanford's press conference. Transcript

He begins by asking if Gina Smith, the reporter who confronted him when he returned, is present. She wasn't. He then goes on to give a 1650 word soliloquy. It's hard to describe it as a statement.

He begins by spending 69 words talking about his love for the Applachian Trail. Since none of this had anything to do with the Appalachian Trail, beyond cover story, lie and euphemism, it is a bit bizarre starting point.

He follows this up with 135 words about the importance of adventure trips and getting away, even if it is a trip to the farm. Okay, this is a little creepy. His adventure trip and getting away were not something to brag about. Another 100 words regarding the recent difficult legislative session and his fight regarding the stimulus package. One fifth of the way through and we are nowhere.

He segues by saying this is "not the whole story. And that's obviously why everybody's gathered here right now." Actually it is none of the story and he spends another 100 words explaining how he is going to lay it all out.

Then he begins his apologies before explaining to the world why he is apologizing. Wife and kids get 164 words. His staff gets 100 words and a few are thrown in for "anybody who lives in South Carolina."

One hundred words go to his friend Tom Davis who helped with his campaign. Another 17 go out to "the Tom Davises of the world."

His in-laws get 100 words. "A lot of people" is thrown in to help cover with the rest.

Then he soliloquizes for 40 words about forgiveness. Asking for it and how it takes time. The magic thing about forgiveness is that it comes from others (with time), it doesn't involve him. It's up to us now.

One hundred more words about God's law and sin (after all, who should we better trust to explain God's law right now?) As he put it, "And the biggest self of self is, indeed, self." (except for selfishness then the -ishness is bigger).

Another 100 words for another apology. To the people of faith of South Carolina and people across the nation for letting them down (after all the biggest ego of ego is, indeed, ego). We've passed the 1000 word mark.

Forty words on the perils of breaching God's law. "This press conference is a consequence."

At last time for the nougat. What he is talking about. Seventy words about the affair. It started innocently, he said then "it developed into something much more than that." (If innocence is good, then much more than innocence must be better, right?)

Then he lists who he has hurt beginning with his mistress, followed by "you all," then his wife, his kids, Tom Davis and "a lot of different folks."

He apologizes again and asks for privacy for his wife.

He wraps it up explaining that he will be going through a process of working through this - with his wife, his children, the Tom Davises of the world and the people of South Carolina. He says he will resign as the head of the Republican Governors Association so that he can have time for the process of asking each and every South Carolinian, or at least the ones who are his friends, for forgiveness. "And so that means me going one by one and town by town to talk to a lot of old friends across this state in -- in what I've done and -- and me asking for their forgiveness."

I didn't expect lurid details - but the self of his self was full of his self.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:34 AM on June 25, 2009 [8 favorites]


Jon Stewart On Sanford: Just Another Politician With A Conservative Mind And A Liberal Penis [video | 02:36].
posted by ericb at 8:45 AM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've seen a lot of commentary calling the presser a train wreck, but honestly, I can see myself in his spot being equally rambly and unfocused and freaked out, so that makes me tend to be more sympathetic, not scornful. And I sort of appreciate hearing actual details and getting a sense of what happened.
By contrast, Vitter and Ensign - who were much bigger moralizers than Sanford, by the way - kept their jobs and even got applause from their colleagues by tersely admitting a mistake and then refusing to answer any questions whatsoever. I think far less of them than Sanford. (Not that, of course, they give a shit what I think.)

The self of the self is self thing - I thought he meant to say something about the sin of the self but can't find any bible-talk that sounds similar. What was he trying to say?
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:51 AM on June 25, 2009


More from the NY Times article on whether he'll be pressured to resign:
Scott H. Huffmon, a political science professor at Winthrop University in Rock Hill, S.C., said it was unclear whether there would be pressure on the governor to resign. “His opponents,” Dr. Huffmon said, “are sitting back trying to figure out if they’d be better off with a completely emasculated governor to deal with or if they’d be better off with André Bauer,” the lieutenant governor, who would take office if Mr. Sanford resigned.


...But [State Senator John] Land said that he doubted there would be pressure for Mr. Sanford to go because a resignation would mean that State Senator Glenn McConnell, the powerful president pro tem, would have to become the lieutenant governor, a relatively powerless position.
posted by yarrow at 8:52 AM on June 25, 2009


I haven't been able to bring myself to read more than the first few lines of the first email that was posted yesterday on The State's site.

I've written letters like this - full of desperate longing and desire and awkward poetic language. I'd terribly, terribly embarrassed if those ever came to light, and on that level I feel a painful sort of empathy for the man. I feel awful for his wife and kids.

But I wasn't an elected official, and I wasn't breaking vows to anyone. I hadn't built political capitol by railing against homos or single mothers or people who don't believe in God. Sanford made his bed, and the fact that he isn't finding it very comfortable right now is nobody's fault but his.
posted by rtha at 8:59 AM on June 25, 2009 [3 favorites]


I've seen a lot of commentary calling the presser a train wreck, but honestly, I can see myself in his spot being equally rambly and unfocused and freaked out

Well, if I had planned to tell a detailed cover-up story on my return about hiking on the Appalachian trail, but was caught red-handed returning from Argentina and had only a few hours to figure out how to spin that as best as possible (maybe even less; he told the reporter at the airport he had been alone, and apparently decided to reveal the affair only after learning The State was going to publish the emails, and who knows how short a time in advance of the press conference that was), I'd probably be rambly and unfocused and freaked out, too.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:00 AM on June 25, 2009


Come to think of it, I probably made a few rambly, unfocused, freaked-out statements to my parents in my teenage years after being confronted with "we know you weren't were you said you were, where were you really?" Yet somehow I remain unsympathetic. Apparently I expect more out of a 49-year old US governor than I do out of an average teenager.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:06 AM on June 25, 2009


Video: Sanford Whacked Pol For Violating "Oath To His Wife".
posted by ericb at 9:07 AM on June 25, 2009


Interesting post about the emails, ericb, thank you. The fact that the reporters at The State alerted Maria (and therefore, Sanford) that the emails were in circulation SIX months ago and he confessed his indiscretion to his wife right after that (FIVE months ago) leads me to suspect that he was not motivated by remorse to reveal everything to his wife. He was afraid she'd find out from someone else first. That's just speculation, but the timing seems very neat and tidy.
posted by jeanmari at 9:10 AM on June 25, 2009


I've seen a lot of commentary calling the presser a train wreck, but honestly, I can see myself in his spot being equally rambly and unfocused and freaked out, so that makes me tend to be more sympathetic, not scornful.

It's not that weird to me that Sanford, in the time and place he found himself, gave that particular press conference—I agree that there's nothing deeply surprising about a performance like that happening under those conditions.

What's surprising and trainwrecky about it is that given the ability to see that it was just about the worst possible setup for such a press conference, they went ahead and did it that way anyway. How much of "they" is Sanford's staff vs. just plain Sanford is probably part of the question, and the way he got shuttled off by his staff at the end suggests that they were seeing this going not precisely the way they would have imagined either.

It's, basically, surprising that they didn't contain it with a shorter, more concise statement followed by minimal questions and a confident evacuation. As it is, it was distracted, wandering, defensive pile of jabber, which is weird to behold in politics where attention to framing and presentation seems to be so deeply ingrained in the process and the players.

Which I guess jibes well with some of the existing press on Sanford from the last couple years and the recaps of that lately—that here's a guy who maybe just isn't made of grade-A politico stock, who may not be all that happy with the career path that he's nonetheless stuck to. There's bits of that in the emails, too. To what extent this is the romantic pining of a human who is noticing the greenness of the grass on the other side or something legitimately true about his fundamental character and wants, I don't know. I joked on twitter about a contented parallel universe Diggy Sanford, but I do kind of wonder about that.

Anyway, this is all to say that I don't think he should be scorned for having given that press conference the way he did. I gather he stood up and winged it and what came out came out, and while I have plenty of criticism on the details I will say that it was nice to see less dissembling than I had expected.

But I also think it's totally fair to describe it, for all that, as a trainwreck. It was a terribly weird and unconventional pit of PR work by a guy I wouldn't have guessed, from the performance, was the chief exec of a US state. But I could say the same thing about Palin, and probably if they were put in the spotlight about a number of other govs if put to the test.

There's something in that sense of reveal: oh, oh, he's not all that good at this, is he? This is the moment that you look at in contrast to the vague notion of the guy as a Presidential candidate, and you sort of glance back and forth between the two and wonder What If, and think about how much different (and worse?) this sort of thing would have been on a more legitimately national stage. Look at John Edwards, and the What If of him as Democratic pick in mid-2008 and then the affair comes out, same kind of stomach-twisting dynamic to a degree.
posted by cortex at 9:16 AM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


In her own words, Gina Smith: Hunch leads to airport and tired, troubled Sanford.
posted by ericb at 9:29 AM on June 25, 2009


"'I don’t hate my job,' he said near the end of our interview. But, he said, he was close to hating it."
posted by ericb at 9:32 AM on June 25, 2009


The only conclusion I can come to is that Sanford is a stunningly selfish, awesomely stupid man who holds himself to one set of low standards, and all others to an impossibly high set of standards.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:35 AM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm kind of amused at the difference between this story and the recent documentary ("Outrage!") which outs gay politicians who vote in an anti-gay way. Here, the story is pretty solidly, "You're a fucking hypocrite and you deserve to be outed as such." In that discussion there is a lot more protection of the person's skeleton. Just a curiosity. I can see where it comes from. Protecting someone's right to come out on their own terms is something that we gays are mostly pretty much in agreement on, even if we do encourage those living in the closet to come on out. And it is vastly different from protecting someone's right to bang a South American on the side. But the policy issues are still the same: lying sack of shit supports policies that he doesn't have to live by. Hmm.
posted by greekphilosophy at 9:37 AM on June 25, 2009


I would like to see a more nuisanced look at marriage and political life to come from all of this and by this I mean the recent spate of infidelities from elected officials on both sides of aisle.

So often there's this black and white world pushed out from both sides, of moral absolutes and rigid storylines that play out drastically different in real life, time and time again. Why do people keep pushing those absolutes if they've been shown to fail?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:37 AM on June 25, 2009


From ericb's link: "It was about 6:15 a.m. Wednesday as I stood in the waiting area at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, squinting my eyes to see whether Gov. Mark Sanford was part of a crowd exiting the plane from Buenos Aires, Argentina."

Side question: how did Smith get into the gate area, since usually only ticketed passengers are allowed past the security checkpoint these days? Do airports make an exception for the press?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:37 AM on June 25, 2009


That Gina Smith story sheds a lot of light on the weird, rambling opening of his press conference; it makes a lot more sense in the context of sitting down one-on-one with someone and trying to explain why you'd want to just get away from it all. He was trying to recap the conversation he'd had with her. Of course, as often happens when people speak extemporaneously, it was unfocused and hard to follow.
posted by EarBucket at 9:39 AM on June 25, 2009


I'm curious who leaked the emails now. Ruling out third-party spies the only people who have access to the communication are the people with access to the mailserver, PCs or Blackberries that contained the messages:

Sanford? Hah, guess again.
Sanford's staffer? Like any other court intrigue, it can't be ruled out, but it also means the staffer is determined enough to grind this axe that they'd risk their own job. Although it's possible that somebody in the Governor's IT department may have helped his wife.
Sanford's paramour in Argentina? She doesn't have much to gain by doing that; if she wanted to break off the relationship there are other ways to do it.
Paramour's husband? Again, mmmmaybe. But, like everybody else in Argentina, he gains nothing by doing this that he couldn't do in some healthier way. Especially since he's unlikely to want to be outed as the cuckold.
Sanford's wife? Mmmmmaybe. It'd sure help gain leverage in a possible divorce settlement. And, if nothing else, it's an interesting ploy to forward a few leads to the newspaper anonymously and follow up on her own schedule. Sending hard-to-trace mail is not difficult but does require some understanding of how mail works to know why she's got to set up a disposable Gmail address first, so if she did this, she had help, such as from household or office staff -- or through family connections.
posted by ardgedee at 9:40 AM on June 25, 2009


One of Paramour's sons? -- "...the woman has two sons, one a teenager of driving age and the other younger."
posted by ericb at 9:43 AM on June 25, 2009


Side question: how did Smith get into the gate area, since usually only ticketed passengers are allowed past the security checkpoint these days? Do airports make an exception for the press?

Well, you can buy a ticket. You don't have to use it.
posted by peep at 9:51 AM on June 25, 2009


Sanford's staffer? Like any other court intrigue, it can't be ruled out, but it also means the staffer is determined enough to grind this axe that they'd risk their own job. Although it's possible that somebody in the Governor's IT department may have helped his wife.

Or maybe the staffer wasn't risking a job. Maybe the staffer was *applying for* one. Sanford was apparently already weak, maybe some staffer could see he wasn't going to last and offered to drop the hammer in exchange for a position with a new Big Dog. Keep an eye on where the Sanford staffers end up (Palin?).
posted by DU at 9:57 AM on June 25, 2009


Do airports make an exception for the press?

No. She said "waiting area" - I assume the place where people gather to greet arrivals. The picture she shot also looks like the general arrivals area.

(I know reporters who have bought random (refundable) tickets in order to get into a departure gate to talk to a passenger, though.)
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:59 AM on June 25, 2009


I'm impressed, and proud, of the people here struggling with this because of feelings of empathy and privacy concerns. That's a good thing; people should start from that position. By and large, I think that that is the most significant difference between liberals and conservatives - liberals are willing to, and attuned to, seeing the grey in an issue. Black and white are excellent parameters, but real life generally falls somewhere in between.

The problem is this, though: What do you do if your more compassionate mindset leads you to give someone who is obviously (and actively) antithetical to your worldview a "get out of jail free" card? At what point do you realize and resign yourself to the fact that, were the tables reversed, you wouldn't be treated as kindly?

If things are to change, the attitude across the board has to be " You live in a glass house. You chose to throw stones. You're house is broken. Tough shit. (If you hadn't been such a dick maybe we'd be more understanding.)".
posted by Benny Andajetz at 10:00 AM on June 25, 2009


BB: there's this black and white world pushed out from both sides, of moral absolutes and rigid storylines that play out drastically different in real life, time and time again. Why do people keep pushing those absolutes if they've been shown to fail?

I think it's a general problem of democracy, and goes beyond infidelity or even morality. Because we get to choose our leaders, we want them to be extraordinary -- straight shooters, honest,, brave, smart, iconoclastic, natural leaders. And since we only need one governor per state of 3 million or 10 million or 30 million people, it doesn't seem like that unreasonable of a request.

But it gets out of hand -- we want them to not read polls, yet do exactly what we want. Cut taxes and provide services, etc.

It's similar to the problem of romantic marriage -- when spouses were arranged by parents, people arguably had more realistic expectations, but since we choose now, we want the best. And if our choice turns out badly, we tend to judge our spouse or politician harshly, rather than judging ourselves for the choosing.
posted by msalt at 10:10 AM on June 25, 2009


To me the really challenging part of that whole empathy thing is figuring out the difference between what's personal and what's political and of course the line is blurry.

So, the SC gov has made bad statements and policies about gay folks and their right to privacy. That sucks and I think makes him a jerk even before all of this. It sucks because (I think) we feel a few things, one of which is that consenting adults get to do whatever they want without people scrutinizing it and legislating against it. I'd prefer they didn't care at all, but I'd settle for not legislating against it. It's not just that people should get to be gay, which I take as a given, but that they should get to be more or less whatever they want personally and sexually [poly, celibate, kinky, marrying your refrigerator] without people getting all up in their business.

So, as someone who generally speaking feels this way, I feel weird getting all up in the gov's business -- as far as reading private emails, not as far as "where the hell were you and why do you think this sort of shit is okay?" -- because my values are to stay the hell out of people's business. If I want the opposition to allow this for me and my people, it feels weird for me to say "but it's okay if we get in your business because you are a really bad person" or "hey you did this to us HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW, HUH?" There is a certain sense of fairness to egtting your comeuppance this way in a "you denied us our privacy now we are denying you your privacy" sort of way, but I still feel icky about it. In my just and fair world no one would have their private emails splashed all over everyplace for people to read and ridicule.

And just to be clear, I think the gov is a bad man, encouraged bad policies and ways of thinking, is cloaking himself in churchy rhetoric while avoiding the parts that directly implicate him, should resign, and seems to be an appalling husband and father. Still, even so, I can't bring myself to read those emails.
posted by jessamyn at 10:11 AM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've seen a lot of commentary calling the presser a train wreck, but honestly, I can see myself in his spot being equally rambly and unfocused and freaked out, so that makes me tend to be more sympathetic, not scornful.
He should have resigned. And had he resigned, if he were so freaked out an unfocused and blah blah blah, there's no need for a press conference.

The man was utterly irresponsible with the governance of his state. That he rambled and was unfocused while holding a press conference to publicly apologize not for that, but for something that he should have privately apologized to his wife for, garners little sympathy from me.
posted by Flunkie at 10:24 AM on June 25, 2009


it feels weird for me to say "but it's okay if we get in your business because you are a really bad person" or "hey you did this to us HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW, HUH?" There is a certain sense of fairness to egtting your comeuppance this way in a "you denied us our privacy now we are denying you your privacy" sort of way, but I still feel icky about it. In my just and fair world no one would have their private emails splashed all over everyplace for people to read and ridicule.

I agree with the weirdness, and I wish that the emails weren't public. I also think, however, that there is another position than the ones you've elaborated which basically has to do with this being a moment that shows precisely why adults should be left alone. In other words, if it's difficult for some people to understand why consenting adults should be accorded privacy, perhaps this will show them one of the reasons. If, on the other hand, we offer to Sanford the benefits he seeks to deny others, we risk treating the world as we wish it to be rather than as it is. I suppose it's possible that hatemonger will be converted to decency by seeing others behave decently, but it seems more likely to me that they will change when they see the adverse consequences (and collateral costs) of their positions.
posted by OmieWise at 10:36 AM on June 25, 2009


Still, even so, I can't bring myself to read those emails.
posted by jessamyn at 10:11 AM on June 25


They're pretty much like this.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:49 AM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


He should have resigned based on his previous denouncements of others' infidelities (and cited those denouncements in his resignation), and on his abuse and abandonment of his office. His exotic excursions were probably funded by South Carolina taxpayers, and suddenly disappearing without notifying his family or staff is unacceptably irresponsible for someone in his position.

I'm much more understanding of his personal failings. Many adults in relationships find themselves attracted to other people outside the relationship from time to time, and many don't resist the temptation to act on those attractions. People have always slept with people they're not supposed to and they always will. In this specific case it seems that he may actually love the other person. I can even understand--not condone--his not telling his wife until it looked like he was going to get caught, because it's possible he was in denial about the likelihood of her finding out. I haven't read the emails and I won't because I don't think they're anyone's business. (Unless they were done on the taxpayers' dime.)

That said, by his previous statements on infidelity he himself has defined his conduct as unacceptable, and he should say so and step down. (Much like Rush Limbaugh should have demanded to be incarcerated for his illegal drugs. This my-rules-don't-apply-to-me bullshit pisses me off.)
posted by kirkaracha at 10:54 AM on June 25, 2009


Still, even so, I can't bring myself to read those emails.

Yeah, but the weird part is how often snippets of them appear general stories about this. You'll be reading and suddenly, boom, bits of the love letters. I think he should resign and be seriously mocked for how badly he handled this, but the letters should be kept private.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:07 AM on June 25, 2009 [3 favorites]


This is a case where I don't see anything constructive coming from reading his emails. His sins are laid bare to the world and now he has to deal with it. I also don't like twisting the knife or kicking a man when he's down or whatever metaphor you want to use. It just violates my own personal sense of decency.

And just because Sanford might not permit me the same kind of courtesy doesn't mean I'm going to engage in "an eye for an eye" behavior. Basically because I think it's wrong - as wrong as what he's done and I refuse to be like him if I can help it.

I don't see this approach, or anyone in this thread, as arguing for "immediate and total forgiveness, no strings attached, no questions asked, no remorse needed" as was suggested above. Sanford's a lying sack of shit and a hypocrite. The whole world knows it. He deserves to be held accountable for it.

But my desire for justice does not completely eliminate my capacity to show mercy to a condemned man, nor does it completely eliminate my sense of empathy for anyone who is in his situation, even if they have brought themselves to it by their own hand, as he has.
posted by darkstar at 11:21 AM on June 25, 2009 [3 favorites]


Do airports make an exception for the press?

No. She said "waiting area" - I assume the place where people gather to greet arrivals. The picture she shot also looks like the general arrivals area.


Exactly. As his flight was an international arrival, the waiting area would be outside of the secured customs/immigration area (in which only arriving passengers area permitted).
posted by ericb at 11:38 AM on June 25, 2009


I'm inclined to agree the emails shouldn't have been published, but for a different, more cynical reason.

I firmly believe that if The State had not published the emails, Sanford would still be claiming he had been alone for his six days in Argentina, and would not have revealed the affair.

And I think this would be a good thing, as it would allow more people to be focused on the real issue, Sanford's real public offense, which was going completely AWOL for six days. This guest column at The State has it exactly right, particularly the second half:
Then in one of the most brazen gubernatorial decisions ever made, he decided to stop being governor for a few days....

The problem: The constitution does not allow him to do that. It is generally assumed that when a governor becomes governor, he is governor all the time, because, well, it’s kind of important.

That reckless and dangerous decision could have been disastrous had something happened that required emergency decisions that only the governor is empowered to make.

From last Thursday until he got back in town Wednesday, no one knew who had the authority to make those decisions because no one could reach the governor and he had not transferred decision-making power to the lieutenant governor as described in the constitution.

It was all so unnecessary. Governors throughout state history have found ways to relax without creating a constitutional crisis.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:41 AM on June 25, 2009


Just announced: Sanford will hold a press conference tomorrow (Friday) at 10:00 a.m.
posted by ericb at 11:47 AM on June 25, 2009


So he's resigning, then.
posted by EarBucket at 11:48 AM on June 25, 2009


Governors throughout state history have found ways to relax without creating a constitutional crisis.

In fairness, no one has yet proposed how to have a discreet affair with a woman in Argentina without creating a Constitutional crisis. I doubt his trip was relaxing overall.
posted by GuyZero at 11:58 AM on June 25, 2009


La Nación has identified his mistress: Maria Belen Chapur, 43-years-old, who works as a commodity broker for the international agricultural firm, Bunge y Born.*
posted by ericb at 12:00 PM on June 25, 2009


If I want the opposition to allow this for me and my people, it feels weird for me to say "but it's okay if we get in your business because you are a really bad person" or "hey you did this to us HOW DOES IT FEEL NOW, HUH?"

Thing is, the opposition already allows this for them and their people, in a quiet under-the-table sort of way. That is, the status quo isn't "Republicans froth and whaargarbl about morality and family values and marriage vows and homosexuals, and then nobody gets to have any sex fun at all." It's "Republicans froth etc, but they still get to do whatever they want and nobody says boo, so it's only little people that end up hurt by their whaargarbling."

Which is unsurprising because adultery is actually very common and a very human failing to fall prey to, and homosexuality is something that people live with one way or another without any choice in the matter, and urges and needs about sex and love are about as strong as they come.

So, fuck 'em. Out them every time there's enough information to, vilify them as hard as they vilify others when they're caught in their adultery, let them be torn apart by the voters they whipped into a frenzy, force them to live in the same rotten world as the little people. Keep doing it until even the policy makers themselves are forced to recognize that they would rather live in a world of dull, uninterested equality where this stuff just isn't anyone's business than in this world, by showing them again and again that trying to have their cake and eat it too won't work very well any more.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:04 PM on June 25, 2009


After watching this video of Sanford (start around the 51 minute mark) where he explains that the victims of Hurricane Katrina had it coming, I'm feeling rather less sympathetic. Fuck him.
posted by EarBucket at 12:06 PM on June 25, 2009


Oh, and Rush Limbaugh has a reasonable explanation, as always: It's Obama's fault Sanford flew to Argentina to cheat on his wife.
posted by EarBucket at 12:11 PM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just announced: Sanford will hold a press conference tomorrow (Friday) at 10:00 a.m.

Moments ago in an interview with MSNBC-TV, The State reporter, Gina Smith said that there is some confusion as to whether or not he'll hold a press conference tomorrow.
posted by ericb at 12:14 PM on June 25, 2009


I love the information age.

Any hypocrisy is quickly revealed in old online videos or articles. Seriously, how many politicians condemned Clinton now only to cheat on their own spouses?
posted by graventy at 12:17 PM on June 25, 2009


Politico.com: "South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has taken at least three taxpayer-paid trips to Argentina, however, it’s unclear whether he met his girlfriend during any of them."
posted by ericb at 12:17 PM on June 25, 2009


It's Obama's fault Sanford flew to Argentina to cheat on his wife.

Dammit, I thought it was married gay peoples' fault! I had the power but it trickled through my fingers!

*cries*
posted by rtha at 12:22 PM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


"This is almost like, 'I don't give a damn, the country's going to Hell in a handbasket, I just want out of here,'" said Limbaugh. "He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn't want any part of it. He lost the battle. He said, 'What the Hell. I mean, I'm -- the federal government's taking over -- what the Hell, I want to enjoy life.'"

"The point is," he added, "there are a lot of people whose spirit is just -- they're fed up, saying to Hell with it, I don't even want to fight this anymore, I just want to get away from it."


Why does Rush Limbaugh hate America so much?
posted by vibrotronica at 12:57 PM on June 25, 2009


Because he's SUCH A PATRIOT!!!
posted by LordSludge at 1:02 PM on June 25, 2009


He said, 'What the Hell. I mean, I'm -- the federal government's taking over -- what the Hell, I want to enjoy life.'"

Rush Limbaugh: Adultery Only Way to "Enjoy Life"
posted by Optimus Chyme at 1:08 PM on June 25, 2009 [7 favorites]


"What the Hell. I mean, I'm -- the federal government's taking over -- what the Hell, I want to enjoy life."

Considering that Sanford started the affair before Obama got to power, is Limpy referring to GWB? Or is this the magic of Obama in the same way Limpy claimed it was the Obama Recession already back in 2008?
posted by VikingSword at 1:17 PM on June 25, 2009


Rush Limbaugh has come unstuck in time.
posted by vibrotronica at 1:22 PM on June 25, 2009 [4 favorites]


"The point is," he added, "there are a lot of people whose spirit is just -- they're fed up, saying to Hell with it, I don't even want to fight this anymore, I just want to get away from it."

Is it wrong to wish more of them would?
posted by MegoSteve at 1:23 PM on June 25, 2009


"Sanford says he will reimburse the state nearly $9,000 for a business trip to Argentina in which he also met with his mistress."



This is the real hypocrisy: he refuses federal stimulus money for SC because it's wasteful but he doesn't mind billing his constituents, some of whom are hurting, for his nookie jaunts.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:24 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Stop trying to put facts in Rush's mouth.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 1:25 PM on June 25, 2009


Yeah the contract of marriage has always been declared null and void during a recession.
posted by PenDevil at 1:29 PM on June 25, 2009


Rush Limbaugh has come unstuck in time.

The Megaditto is a Harsh Mistress
posted by cortex at 1:30 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


love it or leave it, pinko
posted by Flunkie at 1:32 PM on June 25, 2009


Interesting tidbit:
"The tip was so sketchy that the paper had decided not to send a photographer with [Gina] Smith. Acting reflexively, she snapped a quick photo with her digital camera, then called out to Sanford."
posted by ericb at 1:36 PM on June 25, 2009


Sanford: Met with mistress on taxpayer funded trip.
posted by ericb at 1:38 PM on June 25, 2009


Sanford booked 10-day getaway
"On or around the day his wife asked him to move out, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford booked a ten-day trip to Buenos Aires, a person familiar with the governor's travel plans told POLITICO.

Sanford booked the trip on Delta Air Lines on June 10, using the company's SkyMiles program, the source said. He bought a ticket for June 18, returning June 28.

Jenny Sanford said yesterday, June 24, that she'd 'asked my husband to leave two weeks ago.'

Sanford's trip was cut short after the local press raised questions about his absence, but the dates offer a glimpse into both his decision to depart as his marriage frayed, and after months of counseling.

The bookings also cast light on the governor's recklessness, and his belief, or hope, that he could vanish from the state for well over a week without raising questions about his absence.

He spent his time in Buenos Aires in Palermo, a fashionable residential neighborhood, and was not, reportedly, a recluse: He was seen in the local bar, Guido's, with Maria Belen Chapur last week."
posted by ericb at 1:40 PM on June 25, 2009


I'm really hoping, for his family's sake, that we don't find out he didn't actually break up with this woman while he was down there. It's starting to sound like that may be the case, though.
posted by EarBucket at 1:45 PM on June 25, 2009


Sanford Learned Of Emails Hours Before Confession.
posted by ericb at 1:46 PM on June 25, 2009


...we don't find out he didn't actually break up with this woman while he was down there. It's starting to sound like that may be the case, though.

He planned a 10-day vacation/visit with Maria. He was arrogant enough to think no one would notice.

There are more "drips" to this story.
posted by ericb at 1:48 PM on June 25, 2009


That's what I'm thinking too, Earbucket. This sure doesn't sound like a couple breaking up.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:48 PM on June 25, 2009


"The Associated Press has obtained surveillance video of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford passing through Columbia Metropolitan Airport in South Carolina last week (June 25)."
posted by ericb at 1:50 PM on June 25, 2009


*June 25 refers to when the AP acquired and posted the video online*
posted by ericb at 1:52 PM on June 25, 2009


This guy is the gift that keeps on giving. A 10 day vacation? Break up my ass.
posted by PenDevil at 1:54 PM on June 25, 2009


Sanford’s/Chapur's Buenos Aires neighborhood described in the New Yorker:
"Guido’s bar and restaurant at 2843 is probably the street’s most iconic feature, a quirky Italian place with no actual menu, where you are at the mercy of your waiter."
posted by ericb at 1:55 PM on June 25, 2009


That is some riveting crappy low-FPS airport footage of a man with rolling luggage, AP.
posted by cortex at 2:01 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


These photos are showing up everywhere. Unclear if they are really her.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:06 PM on June 25, 2009


Either that's not her, the "Soto also said Maria has green eyes and dirty blonde hair." bit from your tmz link is off the mark, or Maria's been changing her color.

Without some sort of substantiation, I'm not much inclined to trust the photos going around—there's just too much incentive (either prankish or monetary) to run with a fake at the moment when everybody is scrabbling for a photo.
posted by cortex at 2:12 PM on June 25, 2009


Not that any of that really has anything to do with anything, but as long as I'm indulging my (questionable) news junkie instincts...
posted by cortex at 2:13 PM on June 25, 2009


So (hopefully soon to be ex) Governor Sanford and I share a first name, and we were both born in Fort Lauderdale.

More evidence for my theory that no one named Mark from Florida has ever amounted to a damn thing.

Wait, what?
posted by lord_wolf at 2:30 PM on June 25, 2009


I'm a little confused as to how my statement which said, essentially, "I think he's an awful person and should lose his job, but I still feel bad for the guy" got interpreted by some to mean "I think he deserves total unquestioning forgiveness with no consequences for his actions whatsoever."

Oh, well.
posted by kyrademon at 2:31 PM on June 25, 2009


These photos are showing up everywhere. Unclear if they are really her.

Do we really have to do that? Do we really want to?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:32 PM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


Those photos are from a Facebook page for a Maria Chapur, who appears to be an artist. There is another photo of a different woman doing a TV tryout that some say is her. No one knows yet.
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:33 PM on June 25, 2009


Ah ... and then there's also Mark Foley!
posted by ericb at 2:34 PM on June 25, 2009


Do we really have to do that? Do we really want to?



'Maria Belen Shapur Photo' is the Most Searched Internet Trend

posted by CunningLinguist at 2:35 PM on June 25, 2009


The Associated Press has obtained surveillance video of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford passing ...

Oh my god, that lying no good two timer had the nerve to WALK through the airport?! The fucking nerve of some people.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:40 PM on June 25, 2009


'Maria Belen Shapur Photo' is the Most Searched Internet Trend

Oh, well since the internet is doing it...
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:42 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Do we really have to do that? Do we really want to?

For me it's more that this (like the emails) is this extremely visible artifact of the ongoing reaction to the story. I don't really want, in the grander sense, for people to be freaking out over the manufactured necessity of tracking this woman down, but phenomenologically speaking it's (a) a moot point, since people are, and (b) sort of darkly fascinating to me in the detached sense of watching these things unfold.

To put it another way, I don't want to do it, but I'm inclined to look with interest at how the other people who apparently do want to do it are going about doing it.
posted by cortex at 2:43 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


Michael Jackson reportedly just croaked. Sanford dodges bullet!
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:56 PM on June 25, 2009 [1 favorite]


To put it another way, I don't want to do it, but I'm inclined to look with interest at how the other people who apparently do want to do it are going about doing it.

That's fine and understandable, but the lurid "OMG he's walking through the airport, it's him" and "OMG, this may be a picture of her" is weak sauce.

Michael Jackson reportedly just croaked

Was he...alone?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:00 PM on June 25, 2009


That's fine and understandable, but the lurid "OMG he's walking through the airport, it's him" and "OMG, this may be a picture of her" is weak sauce.

I whole-heartedly agree, but I'm pinning that on the AP and the frenzied googlers and paparazzi, respectively. I reserve the right to link and go "hrm" about it with only a minimum of self-loathing and excuse-making, basically.
posted by cortex at 3:11 PM on June 25, 2009


I'm going to openly admit to not being as good a person as Brandon and being curious to see a photo.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:15 PM on June 25, 2009


Pray with me CL and ye shall be forgiven.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:18 PM on June 25, 2009


Dammit, I thought it was married gay peoples' fault! I had the power but it trickled through my fingers!

Isn't that just like America? Gay folk can't get the least little break. No equality rights, and now you don't even get to wreak people's marriages like you'd been promised you'd do.

I doubt very much he was breaking up with Maria. I think he is probably pitching that line now, at the last minute. You don't spend ten freakin' days with the person you've just broken up with; and you don't spend nine freakin' days fuck-buddying her and breaking up with her on the last day.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:36 PM on June 25, 2009


Mrs. Sanford shows these other political wives how it's done.
posted by jeanmari at 5:55 PM on June 25, 2009


Well, reading that convinces me that Mark was not breaking up with his lover in the least, and that Mrs. Sanford might very well have been the one to release the emails.

Mark Sanford is a very, very unhappy man these days. And rightly so. Let him be an example to all men: think with your brain, not your dick.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:14 PM on June 25, 2009


Sanford's trade mission to Argentina contradicted U.S. policy

I might have to take back my alternating filibuster and silence strategy (instead of resignation) prediction. Even with Sanford's announcement he was going to pay back the state for the Argentina arm of the trip, this looks like he found an excuse to visit his girlfriend on the state's dime. Added to the other side-effects of his affair (leaving the state, incommunicado, for 10 days while misleading the folks around him; his hypocrisy; the use of his allegedly moral high-ground as a cudgel; the damage it does to the party he represents; and so on), and the first calls from his own state party that he resign... the pressure is going to be tremendous on someone who is already sorely unhappy with his lot.
posted by julen at 7:00 PM on June 25, 2009


"'Sanford says he will reimburse the state nearly $9,000 for a business trip to Argentina in which he also met with his mistress.'"

Are these guys not getting arrested for this kind of of stuff because it's just a policy/ethics violation? I mean if I "borrow" $9K from my employer for a Argentina vacation I'd be met at the airport by cops not reporters.
posted by Mitheral at 7:28 PM on June 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


A very long list of Family Values folk who turned out to be scum.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:38 PM on June 25, 2009


Or hypocrites, or creeps, or etcetera. They're not all necessarily scum, per se.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:39 PM on June 25, 2009


I'm liking this Jenny Sanford:


"His career is not a concern of mine."
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:04 PM on June 25, 2009


Gov. Sanford's Wife Not Standing by Her Man.
posted by ericb at 10:08 PM on June 25, 2009


I'm a little confused as to how my statement which said, essentially, "I think he's an awful person and should lose his job, but I still feel bad for the guy" got interpreted by some to mean "I think he deserves total unquestioning forgiveness with no consequences for his actions whatsoever."

You new around here?

Mrs. Sanford shows these other political wives how it's done.

Boy howdy, did she ever. "Wish there was room on the boat for y'all, but there's not..."

I would be willing to bet cash money* now that the emails came from her; she now has the ability to get out of a very public and (apparently) very sad marriage with the moral high ground. Oh sure, the rightwingers will try and paint her poorly; stand by your man and all that shit. All she has to say is that she's thinking of the children** and she needs to make sure they are raised in a fine upstanding moral household (cue her and the kids, eating ice cream on the beach or something), far away from the indulgences of her ex husband (cue CCTV image of the Guv coming through the airport, caption "Former Governor Sanford returning from Argentinian love nest", cut to image of him with the pigs), and she wishes him all the best (footage of him leaving the state capitol post-resignation) in his future life (closing shot: her and the kids going to Disneyland).

If she is as smart as she is suddenly turning out to be, she'll be able to spin this fantastically well. And, should she be interested, she has a built-in platform to run for office herself: the woman wronged (yay! family values!), single mother (awww, sympathy!), with a great job (no welfare queen she!), and let's be frank here, a masterful grasp of the soundbite.

*Not valid for residents of Planet Earth
**Finally, someone is.

posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:06 PM on June 25, 2009


They're not all necessarily scum, per se.

Indeed; scum is an essential part of many ecosystems. These people are more like pollution.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:22 PM on June 25, 2009


If Sanford is not going to resign as Governor he better work things out with his wife, as I'm not sure a politician in such a high office has ever gone through a divorce before while serving.

Either that or he cuts a deal with her where she agrees to stay married till his term is over and have a quiet divorce once he is out of office, and then he can quickly remarry someone more 'pliable' (in terms of politicians wives) and restart his political life ala Guiliani.
posted by PenDevil at 3:36 AM on June 26, 2009


as I'm not sure a politician in such a high office has ever gone through a divorce before while serving.

Currently, Jim Gibbons, Gov of Nevada (R).
posted by jeanmari at 4:18 AM on June 26, 2009


jeanmari: Ah thanks, although in that case Gibbons still denies there was an affair.
posted by PenDevil at 4:41 AM on June 26, 2009


I genuinely like Mrs. Sanford. I think her willingness to work on the marriage if he will while at the same time absolutely refusing to play Stand By Your Man is incredibly admirable, and I wish we'd see more of that from politicians' wives.
posted by EarBucket at 6:46 AM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


Jenny Sanford is ten times the man that Mark Sanford is. She is doing what all those other cheated-on political wives should have done: standing up for herself and her children, and letting the chips fall where they may. If Mark wants to pull his head out of his ass, where he has so firmly lodged it, she's willing to work with him, but she's not going to namby=pampy pretend that tere aren't problems.

I hope she runs for office to replace him. I suspect she's ten times as smart and competent than him, too.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:05 AM on June 26, 2009


AlAnon should use her as a spokesperson. She is the embodiment of a non-co-dependent spouse.
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:04 AM on June 26, 2009


Just so you know (I didn't until yesterday) she's used to be a VP of mergers and acquisitions at Lazard Freres, has her own millions as heir to a hardware fortune and launched his political career, serving as his campaign manager. Also, after four sons, she's still quite the babe. Go Jenny!
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:43 AM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


I hope she runs for office to replace him. I suspect she's ten times as smart and competent than him, too.

Yes. As a Democrat! That would be sweet.
posted by peep at 9:31 AM on June 26, 2009


Or as a Republican. I wholly disagree with much of the apparent Republican platform, but one thing is for sure: the USA would be one helluva lot better off if Republican candidates were as quality as Jen.

In fact, the public is probably better off with her as a Republican than as a Democrat. I don't think the Dems have too terribly difficult a time finding good people. Far better that SC be able to choose between two solid candidates, than to choose between a Dem and another head-up-the-ass Mark-style Republican.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:05 AM on June 26, 2009


Sanford today: King David didn't resign after his affair with Bathsheba, so why should I?

(Of course, God did kill one of David's children as punishment for what he did.)
posted by EarBucket at 10:55 AM on June 26, 2009


Jesus. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SEX YOU MORON YOU DISAPPEARED FOR A WEEK
posted by graventy at 11:06 AM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's neat how he compares himself by analogy to God's anointed King of Israel and then makes a handwaving argument that it's all about, like, you know, humility and stuff.

Bang up job, dude.
posted by cortex at 11:09 AM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


PALIN/SANFORD '12
I CAN HIKE BATHSHEBA'S APPALACHIAN TRAIL FROM MY HOUSE

posted by Flunkie at 11:21 AM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


It does make for a weird coda to all the Hallelujah covers we've been posting over on Music, I'll tell you that. Saw her bathing on the roof indeed.

Tempted to do a whole specious analysis of Cohen-as-prophet, here. "All I've ever learned of love / is how to shoot somebody who outdrew you" has at least two or three distinct thematic hooks to work with, for example.
posted by cortex at 11:51 AM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sanford's wife discovers affair in a letter
"South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford tells the Associated Press that she discovered her husband’s affair in January when she found a letter to the governor from his mistress.

She also says she had told Gov. Mark Sanford at the time to end the affair and was shocked to learn that he had gone to Argentina last week to meet his paramour when he mysteriously dropped out of sight for five days. She says she had believed that he had gone somewhere to work on writing a book."
So, it was a secret 10-day rendevous with his mistress. He didn't go down there to break-up with Maria.
posted by ericb at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2009


Hey, guess what, Gov? King David was able to perform his duties as king of Isreal and bang super-hot rooftop bathers at the same time! You were not able to do this. Also, David was an unelected king who claimed to be appointed by god. You serve at the pleasure of the voters of South Carolina.
posted by vibrotronica at 12:02 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


Interesting, ericb. There goes the Jenny-as-email-vector theory for good, then.
posted by cortex at 12:10 PM on June 26, 2009


I like how the only criteria for being a Christian for these people is:

1) being anti-choice
2) being anti-gay
3) talking about Jesus a lot

Doesn't matter what you do. Get knocked up out of wedlock, cheat on your wife, have gay sex on a pile of meth; it's cool. Do you hate gays and abortion? Will you say you feel really bad about what you did while saying "Jesus" 10 times fast? Okay we're cool. You're forgiven.

*rapes a koala bear*
"Oh I'm so sorry! I done wrong. JesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesusJesus"
*is still a good Christian*
posted by ND¢ at 12:14 PM on June 26, 2009 [5 favorites]


Or as a Republican. I wholly disagree with much of the apparent Republican platform, but one thing is for sure: the USA would be one helluva lot better off if Republican candidates were as quality as Jen.

I've read in a few places now that she helped run his campaigns and was a close advisor in addition to being his wife. What makes you think that South Carolina would be any better off under her than her "I'm refusing to take stimulus money" husband, since they undoubtedly share a political philosophy in common?

I'm as impressed as anyone with her strength, but as an elected official she'd be just as much of a regressive disaster as her husband.
posted by the_bone at 12:46 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


So basically his whole press conference was a complete lie:
  1. He thought he could sneak back into the country but Gina Smith caught him in Atlanta Airport.
  2. Then he thought that he could pretend he was going on an 'adventure trip' till The State newspaper told him they had emails between him and the mistress.
  3. Then he claimed he went to break it off and spent '5 days crying in Argentina' when in fact it seemed he booked a 10 day bonkathon.

posted by PenDevil at 3:21 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]


What a shining example of moral character.
posted by Tenuki at 3:57 PM on June 26, 2009


Then he claimed he went to break it off and spent '5 days crying in Argentina' when in fact it seemed he booked a 10 day bonkathon.

He could do both!

Day 1. Get some.
Day 2. Get some.
Day 3. Get some.
Day 4. Get some.
Day 5. Get some.
Day 6. Get some.
Day 7. Get some.
Day 8. Get some.
Day 9. Get some.
Day 10. Get some, break up on the way to the airport.
Updating nicwolff.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:41 PM on June 26, 2009


She also says she had told Gov. Mark Sanford at the time to end the affair and was shocked to learn that he had gone to Argentina last week to meet his paramour when he mysteriously dropped out of sight for five days.

I call bullshit, she had to have figured where he was at some point before it hit the media. She knew about the affair and where Maria was. She's not stupid, she knew.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:26 PM on June 26, 2009


Word here is that there may be another girlfriend in Texas. They are working on verification now.
posted by ND¢ at 7:57 PM on June 26, 2009


The NYT tells him to go, pretty much guaranteeing he won't.


Also SC blogs are actually naming - then getting denials - from various alleged lovers.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:58 PM on June 26, 2009


"He was told in no uncertain terms not to see her....I was hoping he was on the Appalachian Trail.... I was hoping he was doing some real soul searching somewhere and devastated to find out it was Argentina."
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:24 PM on June 26, 2009


CL, that link doesn't work for me, here's another link. I think this is the same interview (but with different headline).
posted by marsha56 at 10:15 PM on June 26, 2009


NYT — The mystery of who revealed Gov. Mark Sanford’s e-mail messages may finally be solved. A business associate of Mr. Sanford’s Argentine mistress said Friday that private messages between the two lovers had been sent anonymously to a South Carolina newspaper last December by an Argentine man the mistress had briefly dated.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:15 PM on June 26, 2009


The guy is a closet swinger.
South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford said Friday her husband repeatedly asked permission to visit his lover in the months after she discovered his affair.
The woman was swinging, too, having a lover contemporaneously with his affair with her, and also married.

I have nothing against people who choose to swing. But you sure as fuck don't do it without your partner being a fully informed consenting other. I hope he roasts on the spit.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:20 PM on June 26, 2009


Man, I hope she takes him for everything he's got. Especially his political and social life. What a fucking scumbag. People make mistakes. He made deliberate choices.

There can not be any real love left in that relationship. Maybe they want to remain in the same household for the benefit of the kids. Personally, I think Jenny would be well off to look for a new spouse. There are plenty of people who are not deliberate creeps.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:27 PM on June 26, 2009


Word here is that there may be another girlfriend in Texas. They are working on verification now.
posted by ND¢ at 9:57 PM on June 26


ND¢ : Who is 'they'? Can you post a link?


Also SC blogs are actually naming - then getting denials - from various alleged lovers.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:58 PM on June 26


CL: Which blogs? Can you provide some links?
posted by marsha56 at 11:03 PM on June 26, 2009


Others deny affairs.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:21 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]


Thanks BB!
posted by marsha56 at 3:42 AM on June 27, 2009


Play him off...
posted by ericb at 12:06 PM on June 27, 2009


Maria speaks!
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:51 PM on June 28, 2009


I have a strong suspicion of who is responsible for this evil act that was directed at me but also destroyed the lives of so many others.
Sorry, what? The guy that released the emails isn't the one who was cheating on his wife and skipping out on Father's Day to fuck you, Maria. The only people responsible for "evil acts" are you and Mark.

Personal accountability is apparently completely out of fashion these days.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:20 PM on June 28, 2009


Video: Jenny Sanford Fights for Her Family and Doesn't Stand By Her Man.
posted by ericb at 3:08 PM on June 29, 2009


Spiritual adviser: 'Darkness' gripped Sanford -- "Says ‘vow to God’ only thing holding S.C. governor's marriage together."

Are these people for real? Right up there with "the devil made me do it!" Fuck you, you public moralizers.
posted by ericb at 7:14 PM on June 29, 2009


"For most Christians, at some point in your marriage, if you're married long enough, you do it because that's what we're called to do — out of obedience instead of out of passion. And I think that's where Mark and Jenny are right now."
Thank God, he says without irony, that I'm not a Christian, then. Twenty-odd years of passion and love for my wife and not the least temptation to seek sex elsewhere.

Fuck you, public moralizers.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:26 PM on June 29, 2009


Fuck you, public moralizers.

. . . said someone who spent the last week raging online about a man's adultery.
posted by brain_drain at 8:02 PM on June 29, 2009


"Spiritual adviser: 'Darkness' gripped Sanford."

"Says ‘vow to God’ only thing holding S.C. governor's marriage together."


Yeah, I read this type of thing and just cringe. The devil made him do it? Come. On. The inability to accept personal responsibility, the complete lack of humility, the immaturity is all completely mind boggling. The whole "if it's good, that's me! And if it's bad, that's the Devil" thing? Gross, gross, gross. And stupid. Jesus wept, bro'. As someone who has already flown her Jesus freak flag on the Blue, I have to say that the attitude of these guys is pretty twisted. Have I seen that attitude from Xtians before? Yeah, but not in the circles I run in, thank God.
posted by jeanmari at 8:11 PM on June 29, 2009


Thank God, he says without irony, that I'm not a Christian, then.

Eh, I really wouldn't take Sanford's explanation as a Christian one so much as a "I, an elected official who bellowed about the sanctity of marriage, got busted on national television using tax money to have trans-national booty calls and now I need to shift the guilt from myself to ... SATAN" one.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:16 PM on June 29, 2009


. . . said someone who spent the last week raging online about a man's adultery.

Maybe you are slow or have a learning disability, but it has been noted maybe one or two dozen times in this thread that we would not give a shit about Mr. Sanford's sex life if he had not made a career out of demonizing the sex lives of others. Do you understand this? If not, why not?
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:59 PM on June 29, 2009


Yeah, so when I said he was smart enough to tell the whole truth at his press conference last week? Turns out I was wrong.
posted by EarBucket at 9:36 AM on June 30, 2009


Drip, drip, drip.

Sanford, give it up. Resign already.
posted by ericb at 9:39 AM on June 30, 2009


Hey, let's be fair here.

David probably slept with Bathsheba several times.
posted by cortex at 9:40 AM on June 30, 2009


You know, when Ironmouth busted out his original comment in this thread, I thought "No fucking way. Not even a Republican could be that stupid." But here we are. That comment deserves like a million favorites.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:42 AM on June 30, 2009


I think the icing on the cake is that he repeatedly asked his wife if he could visit his mistress. And when she said "No!" he went and did it anyway. What a colossal, monumental asshole.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:44 AM on June 30, 2009


Well, you can't just hike one leg of the Appalachian Trail.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:49 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


repeatedly asked his wife if he could visit his mistress

To be fair, the implication in the article is that Sanford wanted to end the affair in person.

To be sane, that's a completely stupid reason.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:00 AM on June 30, 2009


Turns out he lied when he said he only saw her three times. And he STILL hasn't apologized for going AWOL.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:14 AM on June 30, 2009


link
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:15 AM on June 30, 2009


Brandon, I'm not sure how you get that interpretation out of "In early 2009, after Jenny Sanford discovered the affair, the couple went into counseling. She has told The Associated Press that he asked her several times to visit the mistress and she refused."

Especially when you consider that he then went and visited Maria several times, boffing her each time. That really does not sound like the behaviour of a man who wanted to end the affair in person. To my ear, that sounds very much like the behaviour of a man who wanted to have the consent of his wife to have a mistress. And who, when told in no uncertain terms that he was not allowed to have a mistress, went ahead with his desires anyway.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:32 AM on June 30, 2009


Whoops, ixnay that. The several visits to his lover were pre-discovery. Then he had two visits post-discovery: one with his religibuddy to "break it off" and another to Argentina to "get it back on."
posted by five fresh fish at 10:35 AM on June 30, 2009


Jon Stewart takes umbrage at the fact that a conservative Christian looks to the Old Testament for reasons why he shouldn't resign. Usually they just look there for reasons to discriminate against gays.
posted by leftcoastbob at 10:35 AM on June 30, 2009


Oh, Jesus Christ.

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress — but never had sex with them.

The governor says he "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur, the Argentine at the center of a scandal that has derailed Sanford's once-promising political career.

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

He says that during the other encounters he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." He wouldn't go into detail.

Sanford said the casual encounters happened outside the U.S. while he was married but before he met Chapur.

posted by EarBucket at 11:38 AM on June 30, 2009


Protip: If you're going to have a tearful, remorse-filled press conference where you confess your sins and plead for forgiveness, CONFESS ALL OF THEM AT ONCE.
posted by EarBucket at 11:39 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


A Thin Latex Line: The Mark Sanford Story
posted by cortex at 11:41 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


And, to be fair, David probably totally let his guard down around but did not cross the ultimate line with several women other than Bathsheba.
posted by cortex at 11:42 AM on June 30, 2009


Also, WTF:

During an interview Monday, Bauer, who is a bachelor, voluntarily brought up the subject of his sexual orientation, which he said has been the subject of rumors.

Asked, then, if he’s homosexual, Bauer said: “One word, two letters. ‘No.’ Let’s go ahead and dispel that now.

“Is Andre Bauer gay? That is now the story,” he said. “We’re a long way from where we were a week ago.

“We have diverted what the real topic should be here: Is the governor capable for carrying on the duties for which he was elected?”

posted by EarBucket at 11:48 AM on June 30, 2009


You mean, killing their husbands?
posted by klangklangston at 11:49 AM on June 30, 2009


During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

Okay, now this is getting all sorts of sad. If Ms. Chapur is his soulmate, why doesn't he divorce his wife and spend the rest of his life with Ms. Chapur? I sure as hell wouldn't want to stay married to someone who said "some other dude is my soulmate but I'm trying to fall back in love with you." No one would be happy with that.

Governor Sanford, if you're reading this (luh-mao), please listen: you have piles of money. You already showed the world that you are a liar and a scumbag. For once, be true to yourself, your loved ones, and the public you were supposed to serve. Don't try to make your wife continue this sham of a marriage. Get reamed in the divorce proceedings and retire to Argentina with your sweetheart. Be good to your kids and try not to embarass them anymore. Go sailing or make driftwood sculptures or some shit during your remaining years. South Carolina doesn't need you, your soon to be ex-wife doesn't need you, and your children don't need you. Sanford in exile: everyone wins.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:56 AM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


"During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife."

Jenny, time to kick him to the curb, girlfriend.


A friend suggests - quite cannily I think - that Sanford is dribbling out details about the affair to mask the real issue: THAT HELLO HE WENT AWOL

Befuddled by sex, reporters keep failing to ask him about that little detail.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:57 AM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


So what, can't a guy like hiking?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:01 PM on June 30, 2009


Dude is panic-babbling. He really need a nice hot cup of STFU. You can't dig yourself out of a hole.
posted by GuyZero at 12:03 PM on June 30, 2009


A friend suggests - quite cannily I think - that Sanford is dribbling out details about the affair to mask the real issue: THAT HELLO HE WENT AWOL

He's not that smart, though maybe Tom Davis is.

This sounds like Sanford is just a wreck emotionally and spewing all over the place.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:27 PM on June 30, 2009


A friend suggests - quite cannily I think - that Sanford is dribbling out details about the affair to mask the real issue: THAT HELLO HE WENT AWOL

Bingo.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:29 PM on June 30, 2009


Sanford needs to admit his true nature, give up on the long-term relationships, and just become a swinger. He'll hurt way less people that way.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:56 PM on June 30, 2009


So he nearly crossed some not-sex-line with multiple foreign women (Five will get you ten that in his next press conference, he'll have a Clintonian parsing of what sex is. Can a state impeachment be far behind?), before he finally slept with his soul mate, crossing that sex line, seven years ago and then kept intermittently sleeping with her.

This is clearly a border control issue. The question is: Do you add a Pants-related section ("Are you going to keep it in your pants?") to the exit/entry form, or do you just luminol the heck out of politicians as they enter and exit the country? Or should the state just take away Sanford's passport due to stupidity/susceptibility to foreign femme fatales to protect him from the darkness within him. The Bush administration missed its opportunity to help preserve what was then a rising star in their own administration.
posted by julen at 2:36 PM on June 30, 2009


I am certain he must be parsing things a la Clinton. The "ultimate line" might be penetrative sex, I suppose, but I'm pretty sure when he says he's had "some physical contact" with other women, surely he means he's gone a helluva lot further than a friendly hug: he means he's been getting hot and heavy on the couch, lots of groping and fingering and foreplay. In short, he has betrayed his wife time and again.

I hope Jenny has learned a lot from this, and finds it within herself to understand why homosexual couples should have the right to a marriage that is full and equal to her own. Perhaps she could become a New Republican, helping lead that party out of the wilderness and back to political relevancy.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:37 PM on June 30, 2009


"Aside from the legal nuts and bolts of the implosion, the galling inadvisability of the governor’s comments has Palmetto political observers - and national observers - wondering if the governor has the mental fitness to remain in office."
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:44 PM on June 30, 2009


I bet he resigns today. Any takers?
posted by CunningLinguist at 5:28 AM on July 1, 2009


Word on the street is that he is going to resign today, but I don't know. Until I heard it from people who appear to know something, I didn't think it would happen. I personally would prefer he remain in office, because the words "Governor Andre Bauer" are downright terrifying.
posted by ND¢ at 6:39 AM on July 1, 2009


I'm betting he won't resign 'till someone is pointing a figurative (or literal!) gun at his head. At this point losing his power would be the final, humiliating blow to who he is. Being Governor is the one place he has a bit of control and respect, at least in his eyes. If he resigns, he's just that guy who fucked around on his wife and had to resign. If he stays, he's that guy who made some mistakes, but at least finished out his work/job/responsibility.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:49 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've seen these things play out and I really think yesterday's Danielle Steele novel/AP sitdown was a tipping point. I don't see how he survives the week.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:08 AM on July 1, 2009


FITSNEWS.COM: S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford is reportedly being called or visited by some of his closest advisors this morning, all of whom are privately urging him to step down in the wake of the disastrous fallout from yesterday’s revelations of additional liaisons with his Argentine lover, Maria Belen Chapur, and admissions of inappropriate physical relations with other women.
posted by marsha56 at 9:05 AM on July 1, 2009


"For most Christians, at some point in your marriage, if you're married long enough, you do it because that's what we're called to do — out of obedience instead of out of passion. And I think that's where Mark and Jenny are right now."
What does it mean that God wants Mark and Jenny to suffer through a long, loveless marriage? Why would God torment Mark by allowing him to discover his unobtainable Argentinian soulmate? Why would God deny Mark love and passion?

Perhaps God is punishing Mark, like he has so many Republicans, for his stance on gay rights and abortion.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:31 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


The State newspaper out of Columbia SC is the place to keep up with this. Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC) seems to be the latest calling for Sanford to step down.
posted by marxchivist at 10:35 AM on July 1, 2009


If Tom Davis, whom he mentioned more than his wife and kids, tells him to quit I think he's gone. And Davis is reportedly meeting with him right now.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:02 AM on July 1, 2009


And Davis is reportedly meeting with crossing the ultimate line with him right now.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:10 AM on July 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


And Davis is reportedly crossing the ultimate line with him right now.

They're making a snuff film?
posted by Pollomacho at 11:16 AM on July 1, 2009


And Davis is reportedly crossing the ultimate line with him right now.

No, someone hucked it deep and Stanford grabbed some sky before he made a gnarly landing in the end zone and scoring a point.
posted by GuyZero at 11:19 AM on July 1, 2009


What if the Tom Davises of the world tell him to quit and the Cubby Culbertsons of the world tell him not to? Broadswords in pit?
posted by cortex at 11:20 AM on July 1, 2009


He'll probably leave town for a few days to figure things out.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:39 AM on July 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I am beginning to doubt the reliability of my source, but I heard about an hour ago that Tom Davis (who is quoted in the previously linked story as saying he shouldn't resign) called Sanford up and told him that he had to resign and Sanford told Davis (who is one of the Tom Davises of the world!) that he was no longer welcome to call him! How could things have gone so bad so fast?
posted by ND¢ at 11:52 AM on July 1, 2009


Call your source back for more details! I'm bored at work and glued to this!


Meanwhile:

“He’s dug in,” said a source familiar with the governor’s position. “He’s not resigning under any circumstances.”
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:57 AM on July 1, 2009


I'm telling ya, he feels like this is all he's got left and by god, he. will. not. resign.

Until protestors show up at his office for a week or two.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:00 PM on July 1, 2009


Man. I am plugged in. If you guys knew who my source was, you would be all like "Daaaammmnn! THAT is your source?! Snapalupagos!"
posted by ND¢ at 12:05 PM on July 1, 2009


Sanford backs out of promise to release travel records
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:41 PM on July 1, 2009


ND¢ is so plugged in that The Matrix was actually a biopic about him.
posted by cortex at 12:41 PM on July 1, 2009


There is no spoon Gov.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:44 PM on July 1, 2009


Sanford should move to Argentina to be with his WoW girlfriend only to discover she's actually totally crazy after she goes all BPD on him. That would make this saga complete.
posted by Justinian at 12:46 PM on July 1, 2009


Sanford: the telenovela
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:49 PM on July 1, 2009


You know it baby. I'm in the pod, swimming in goo, hole in my neck, emaciated from never having moved my muscles, producing energy for robots. The whole thing.

Also $50 says a relationship between him and his "soul mate" wouldn't last six months. A spark at an outdoor dance and overwrought e-mails is one thing. Watching her clip her toenails on the toilet is another.
posted by ND¢ at 1:09 PM on July 1, 2009


It would have lasted but after seeing his performance over the past few days, I'd be surprised if Sanford ever got laid again.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:18 PM on July 1, 2009


Just to complete the picture, she is on the toilet because she has the Argentinian taco shits. It is not a pleasant picture. But it is what love really is. Love is toenails and toilets and taco shits and if you ain't down for that and all you want is the outdoor dance and the cyber then you don't really know what love is and you will never have it because it will be in your house stinking up the joint something awful and you'll be on the computer bothering some probably perfectly nice Argentinian lady and then you will lose that love because you never even knew it was there. And then what will you have? You won't have anything. Cause while the starlight and the music and the magic all seem oh so special in the movies and in your memories of high school, those are just moments and they are nice and you should remember them fondly, but what matters is everyday. It's the toenails. It's the toilet. It's the taco shits. It's morning breath and shaving legs and hocking lougies and getting pissed about nothing and blood and sweat and tears and laughter and bills and kids and cars and fun and sadness and everything. It is life. And its the only game in town. And if you want to trade that -trade away life- for something that isn't real, then you are making a very poor bargain. Cause you're giving away everything and getting nothing. And that buyer's remorse is going to be a bitch.
posted by ND¢ at 1:25 PM on July 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


MetaFillter: It's the toenails. It's the toilet. It's the taco shits.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:54 PM on July 1, 2009


I cannot believe I beat you all to that
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:54 PM on July 1, 2009


We were all out hiking the Appalachian Trail.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:59 PM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sanford: "I will be able to die knowing that I had met my soul mate."

This is just getting painful to watch. I said it upthread, but he's reminding me more and more of Michael Scott.
posted by EarBucket at 2:35 PM on July 1, 2009


If Maria is Sanford's soul mate, what's going to happen after they're dead and gone to their heaven? Will his marriage to Jenny be dissolved, so that he might spend his eternity with his soul mate? Or is his heaven some sort of hell where he remains spiritually attached to Jenny, and can only continue to yearn to be with his soulmate?

I suspect he really hasn't thought through the consequences of his faith.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:04 PM on July 1, 2009


I bet he resigns today. Any takers?

My bet is that he resigns at 5:00 p.m. this Friday. Since it's a holiday weekend and a Friday, it's an opportune time to shamefully resign.
posted by ericb at 3:26 PM on July 1, 2009


Well, Jesus said there's no married and unmarried in heaven. So I guess he'll get to spark with Maria as much as he wants, then.
posted by darkstar at 3:28 PM on July 1, 2009


Jesus was just making sure he'd get to party after that whole ritual-sacrifice bummer. Also:
posted by cortex at 3:40 PM on July 1, 2009


1000
posted by cortex at 3:40 PM on July 1, 2009


Cripes cortex, do you have nothing better than to reload the site all day?

I do but I do it anyway
posted by GuyZero at 3:45 PM on July 1, 2009


A good article in the Washington Post, and a surprisingly good discussion thread within.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:50 PM on July 1, 2009


You might be surprised at how much RE5 I've managed to play in the mean time.
posted by cortex at 4:27 PM on July 1, 2009


You might be surprised at how much RE5 I've managed to play in the mean time.

Good thing Matt doesn't actually read this site anymore, huh?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:29 PM on July 1, 2009


Good thing I have no idea what RE5 is.
posted by jessamyn at 4:33 PM on July 1, 2009


Man, playing RE5 co-op with either Matt or Jess would be awesome. Like, epic podcast, that.
posted by cortex at 4:41 PM on July 1, 2009


Cripes cortex, do you have nothing better than to reload the site all day?

He gets paid to do it. I mean really, as in that is what his boss wants him to do. A lot of us get paid to reload this site all day, but cortex actually has it in his job description.
posted by marxchivist at 5:29 PM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


He reloads the site all day when he's not washing his house.
posted by rtha at 5:41 PM on July 1, 2009


It's basically, F5, RE5, and "I deserve a paint-it-myself high-five", all day long.
posted by cortex at 5:57 PM on July 1, 2009


With a Jackson 5 soundtrack in the background? Or are you more of a Grandmaster Flash and the Furious 5 kind of mod?
posted by GuyZero at 6:01 PM on July 1, 2009


Sanford's revelations befuddle many.
posted by ericb at 8:59 PM on July 1, 2009


The state constitution allows the state's top elected officials to elevate the lieutenant governor if the governor is "unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office," but no law defines what that means. "This section deals more with actual inability, on a respirator in a hospital because he's had a stroke or heart attack, not because he's nutty"…
LOL. The comedy shows are going to have a hay-day. (hey-day?)
posted by five fresh fish at 9:12 PM on July 1, 2009


This is no longer amusing. He needs to resign, file for divorce, get his butt on an airplane, and go beg his girlfriend not to dump his ass.
posted by Justinian at 12:00 AM on July 2, 2009


This is no longer amusing. He needs to resign, file for divorce, get his butt on an airplane, and go beg his girlfriend not to dump his ass.

For some reason this brought to mind Wayne Gail from Natural Born Killers, when he's assisting in the prison break.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:52 AM on July 2, 2009


Because love means never having to say you're resigning. (more YouTube parody)
posted by CunningLinguist at 4:40 AM on July 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


The State: When your support is evaporating but your resolve to stay in office is increasing, that’s a bad combination.

FITSNEWS.COM: Sanford is exploring the idea of taking a 60-day leave of absence.

Geez, just rip off the band-aid and resign already!
posted by marsha56 at 6:23 AM on July 2, 2009


Jenny reportedly went to Florida to stay with her parents.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:29 AM on July 2, 2009


Wolfe Reports: There is also the allegation that Jenny has retained the services of Charleston’s Rosen Law Firm.
posted by marsha56 at 6:56 AM on July 2, 2009


Derail: why do all the SC political blogs have the same format? Is that some sort of program you can buy?
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:11 AM on July 2, 2009


Secretary of State Mark Hammond exploring whether an obscure section of the state constitution could be used to force Sanford out.
posted by marsha56 at 7:14 AM on July 2, 2009


why do all the SC political blogs have the same format?

What are you talking about?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:22 AM on July 2, 2009


Sanford's mental state questioned
"Gov. Mark Sanford is acting like a love-struck teenager.

Or, maybe he has a deeper personality disorder, some experts speculate.

As the saga of Sanford and his Argentine lover continues, the public, the governor’s political rivals and some allies are speculating about the governor’s mental stability and whether he’s able to lead the state.

While mental health experts are reluctant to pin a diagnosis on the governor, their observations of his behavior suggest a chemical imbalance, narcissism and impulsive behavior.

Sanford has not sought professional mental health treatment, said Joel Sawyer, the governor’s spokesman.

But some fellow politicians are saying the governor needs help."
posted by ericb at 9:04 AM on July 2, 2009


39 trips for Sanford with no security in '09 -- "Governor's secret trip prompts scrutiny."
posted by ericb at 9:05 AM on July 2, 2009


why do all the SC political blogs have the same format?

What are you talking about?



This, pretty much.
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:55 AM on July 2, 2009


2 p.m. SLED news conference on Sanford's travel upcoming.


Also, I always thought Michael Wolff was a creep. Now I know for sure: Jenny Sanford Is a Bummer
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:43 AM on July 2, 2009


Jenny Sanford Is a Bummer

The article is more than a bit misogynistic but to be fair to the writer, she doesn't sound like she'd be all that much fun at a party. She seems like she should have had more sense than to marry a nut like Stanford tough - I never get these marriages for professional reasons. They don't seem very enjoyable.
posted by GuyZero at 10:57 AM on July 2, 2009


WSJ's Washington Wire blog: Sanford loses book deal
posted by marsha56 at 11:00 AM on July 2, 2009


I never get these marriages for professional reasons. They don't seem very enjoyable.

Who says it was one of those? Except, of course, the media critic who just left his wife for an intern.
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:27 AM on July 2, 2009


Given that Stanford is empirically not that devoted to his wife, his affair and the multiple almost-affairs he's been going on about, it seems like a reasonable speculation. Additionally, given that she managed his campaign it seems like at least as much of a professional relationship as one built solely on romance or love or childrearing or whatever keeps married couples who have no professional ties together. She's professionally successful on her own and certainly doesn't need to be married. His sexual proclivities are incompatible with marriage.

Certainly it's just speculation on my part.
posted by GuyZero at 11:41 AM on July 2, 2009


So wait, you think this also about all those millions of guys who have midlife crises and go off with younger women after their wives helped get them established professionally and had their children?


Meanwhile, Jenny Sanford has a new statement.
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:42 PM on July 2, 2009


No, I don't mean that. But whatever I think about the guy is purely speculative so I'll cease speculating out loud and simply say that it seems like he's gotten a lot more out of the marriage than he's put into it.
posted by GuyZero at 12:51 PM on July 2, 2009


From Jenny Stanford's statement: Mark showed a lack of judgment in his recent actions as governor. However, his far more egregious offenses were committed against God, the institutions of marriage and family, our boys and me. Mark has stated that his intent and determination is to save our marriage, and to make amends to the people of South Carolina.

The betrayed spouse poo-poos that AWOL as Governor thing and is willing to forgive him about the affairs. Basically, she's signed off in him remaining the Governor.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:56 PM on July 2, 2009


The sound you hear is a half dozen Jenny Sanford Facebook fan clubs fizzling.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:18 PM on July 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


I would point out that - according to interviews - Jenny Sanford didn't know he wanted to run for office until she was in the hospital after the birth of her second son, and her husband told her he was running for office. I would imagine that if she was really a cold-hearted woman who married him for professional/positioning reasons, she might not have had FOUR kids with the man, giving up her high-powered career in the process.

I read that statement, Brandon, as her positioning herself as lightly supportive but betrayed. She's not saying that his crimes against the state don't matter to her, but they pale next to the personal betrayal for her. And she states as a fact that HE says he intends to save the marriage and "make amends to South Carolina" (which is nice and vague), not that SHE is sure he will. It's a beautifully worded statement that will give him no purchase or counterclaim in future divorce proceedings that she kicked him when he was down. She's not not supporting him, but she's not really helping him either.

In fact she ends with:

In that spirit of forgiveness, it is up to the people and elected officials of South Carolina to decide whether they will give Mark another chance as well.. She could have added "I hope they will." or "I think he's been a jim-dandy governor" - but she didn't.
posted by julen at 1:22 PM on July 2, 2009


I would add that the stream of frequent statements and 2 minute meet-the-press-at-the-mailbox/gates sessions is not only ensuring a certain amount of privacy for the family at other times, but it is hurting him in that it sparks a new round of He-did-her-wrong-and-isn't-she-great! press coverage. Even though it distracts from discussion of his civic crimes and bad deeds, in today's political world, it's as bad and sometimes worse for a high-moral-ground politician to be shown to have hips of clay.

It makes it harder harder for his fellow high-moral-ground politicians to justify letting him work through his penance and keep the disliked Lt. Governor in his isolated and largely powerless annex, particularly since the Governor's diarrhea of the mouth leads him to looking less like a vaguely romantic doomed figure who found himself caught between duty/faith and true love than a dude with a roaming eye and an ego as big as the state itself.
posted by julen at 1:45 PM on July 2, 2009


"However, to achieve true reconciliation will take time, involve repentance, and will not be easy."

This would strike fear into the heart of even the dimmest of husbands. Argentina must be looking better all the time.
posted by leftcoastbob at 4:39 PM on July 2, 2009


It reminds me of what the church said about Ted Haggard as he was circling the media drain. I don't recall ever hearing whether he ever achieved that "true reconciliation" or just bailed on the whole thing.
posted by darkstar at 11:58 PM on July 2, 2009


Michael Jackson died to save your ass!
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:24 AM on July 3, 2009


First Michael Jackson, now Sarah Palin quits. I think Mark Sanford just got handed another get out of jail free card. All he has to do is keep his mouth shut this time, and not talk to the press again.
posted by marsha56 at 2:12 PM on July 3, 2009


I guess Sarah really did kill this thread.
posted by jepler at 1:33 PM on July 6, 2009


It just (literally) headed downstream like a dead fish.
posted by leftcoastbob at 2:21 PM on July 6, 2009


Also.
posted by darkstar at 8:16 PM on July 6, 2009


I would imagine that if she was really a cold-hearted woman who married him for professional/positioning reasons, she might not have had FOUR kids with the man, giving up her high-powered career in the process.

Yeah, cold-hearted women who get married for professional reasons have one kid early on and then run as carpetbaggers to become the Senator from New York.
posted by XMLicious at 8:15 AM on July 7, 2009


Well, the state government has censured him, but not kicked his ass out of power.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:19 AM on July 7, 2009


She's a good hearted woman in love with a good timin' man.

And man does her man have good timin'.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:34 PM on July 7, 2009


Chip Pickering is the third Republican with ties to the building at 133 C Street SE to find his personal life making headlines in recent weeks, after Nevada U.S. Sen. John Ensign and South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford.

It's getting to the point where this is becoming kind of old hat on Fridays...
posted by jeanmari at 6:39 PM on July 17, 2009


Remember that Freeper screed about how "libruls" should just shut up about Sanford because the conservatives would take care of the Sanford mess, themselves?

Yeah, how did that work out?
posted by darkstar at 11:12 PM on July 17, 2009


Not so good, there's been a Palin interlude.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:35 AM on July 19, 2009


Sanford: An apology, and a pledge

Dude is holding onto that Governor job hard. Is he scared that if he resigns no one will ever employ or rehire him?
posted by PenDevil at 11:58 AM on July 19, 2009


NBC's Gregory to Sanford's Office: "Meet The Press Allows You To Frame The Conversation As You Really Want"
posted by homunculus at 4:14 PM on July 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


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