June 13, 2001

7:17 AM

Unisys Confesses UNIVAC Sins- The company that invented the first commercial computer apologized on the eve of its 50th anniversary for any "unintended consequences" of its use. - Among other things, they apologized for bad joke emails, the dot com bubble, and destroying the concept of normal working hours. It's a pretty funny article.
posted by chrisege (15 comments total)

Free hot and cold bukake style porn 24hrs a day and even on Christmas makes up for a lot.
God bless you, Univac!
posted by dong_resin at 8:07 AM on June 13, 2001

Its all fun and games until the machines silently take over and turn us all into tech support slaves.
posted by skallas at 8:14 AM on June 13, 2001

Is there a URL for the actual "apology" from the actual Unisys? I didn't see a hint of such a thing on Unisys.com, which is pretty much the non-humorous unrelentingly positive-spin corporate Website that you'd expect it to be.

This couldn't be a hoax or anything, eh?
posted by davidchess at 8:15 AM on June 13, 2001

cute.
posted by muppetboy at 8:24 AM on June 13, 2001

reminds me of the mythical DEC bug report about some time field that would wrap around in the year 9999. the comment on the bug was "Will fix on or before 9999".
posted by muppetboy at 8:25 AM on June 13, 2001

This couldn't be a hoax or anything, eh?

And where would be the value in that, pray tell?

"UNISYS firmly denies being sorry for anything and also disclaims any knowledge of issuing humor press releases"

sure.
posted by briank at 8:39 AM on June 13, 2001

"Its all fun and games until the machines silently take over and turn us all into tech support slaves"

Uh, this isn't already happening?
posted by mecran01 at 9:11 AM on June 13, 2001

Hoax? Well, Guy Esnouf, despite making the piece sound like Wired Onion News, seems to get around the corporate communications world a lot. Perhaps it was remarks at a conference, rather than a press release?

Oh: the "eve of the 50th anniversary" seems to have been back in March. Here's the interview with Unisys historian George Gray on "the eve", March 29th.
posted by dhartung at 9:14 AM on June 13, 2001

now if only they'd apologize for their enforcement of the lzw patent and all the strangeness that has caused around the gif format.
posted by jimw at 9:26 AM on June 13, 2001

The company that invented the first commercial computer apologized on the eve of its 50th anniversary for any "unintended consequences" of its use.

Did they mention what the intended consequences for computers were?
posted by rschram at 9:33 AM on June 13, 2001

"Every cycle on that machine takes about .6 nanoseconds -- about the time it takes light to travel seven seconds."

ummm, seven seconds?
posted by donkeysuck at 10:33 AM on June 13, 2001

Did they mention what the intended consequences for computers were?

Flying cars for everyone, domed cities, robot maids, meals in a pill. You know. The Future.
posted by kindall at 11:14 AM on June 13, 2001

Did they mention what the intended consequences for computers were?

Flying cars for everyone, domed cities, robot maids, meals in a pill. You know. The Future.

Whoa, then they have a LOT to apologize for. They were way off.
posted by rschram at 12:25 PM on June 13, 2001

jimw, you hit the nail on the head...
posted by mutagen at 1:30 PM on June 13, 2001

Reminds me of Bruce McCulloch, who said, "I'm sorry for causing all that cancer."
posted by Mo Nickels at 2:44 PM on June 13, 2001