Comments on: Captains Courageous

Captains Courageous

doctoryes — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:19:13 -0800

Have you ever wondered what you would look like dressed as a captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II? This guy did and then recreated it.

Buried in the pages of what appears to have started as a resource on Diggers (previously) is this amazing collection. The "Captain" has taken a portrait of himself and photoshopped on uniforms, medals, ribbons, and in some cases facial hair and facepaint. Most entries also include a little personal history of the virtual captain explaining why he's wearing certain things.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:22:58 -0800

Nope, never wondered that. I have, however, wondered what I'd look like if I got to model for Canadian Tire money. OK, yeah, he's not actually wearing a tam o'shanter but it's pretty close.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:24:56 -0800

Poor Gurkhas, forgotten again.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:29:40 -0800

Man, does he ever like to play "dress-up!"

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:30:51 -0800

Yes, I have wondered this.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:31:06 -0800

(nitpicking here, because he himself doesn't seem to claim to cover *every* nation, but I can't see any of the Eastern European nations who fought under, or alongside the Germans - the Latvian Volunteer SS Division, for example)

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:42:20 -0800

Charles Upham takes some beating in the courageous captains stakes.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:43:26 -0800

(saving this for the next flameout thread)

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:45:06 -0800

This is some serious fucking nerdery right here. If nerd was a controlled substance, this would get you locked up for years. This is the kind of shit you carry around in your back pocket just in case you run into like some goddam mallrats who've ironically "re-discovered" pogs or whatever the fuck and make the mistake of congratulating themselves by claiming the "nerd" title, so you can grab 'em by the ears and stick this under their noses and say, NO, LOOK, THIS. THIS IS HOW NERDS ROLL. YOU ARE WEARING FAUX-DISTRESSED JEANS AND LISTENING TO BRITNEY SPEARS AND YOU SUCK AT MATH. YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR DEPTH. SHUT UP.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:51:47 -0800

NO, LOOK, THIS. THIS IS HOW NERDS ROLL. YOU ARE WEARING FAUX-DISTRESSED JEANS AND LISTENING TO BRITNEY SPEARS AND YOU SUCK AT MATH. YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR DEPTH. SHUT UP. You down with OCD? Yeah, you know me. disclaimer that I realize that actual clinical DSM-grade OCD isn't funny and that people with odd fixations actually don't have OCD but are merely really into their shit but that comparing behaviours which resemble actual mental illness on a smaller scale can be somewhat funny the same way we compare various people who annoy us to HITLER et cetera also when I do this I feel like Roast Beef in Achewood

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 15:55:21 -0800

I'm gonna go with this one for the sartorial win.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:02:47 -0800

The back stories (yes, I actually read some of this) really elevate this one to true 42nd-level master nerdery. This is all kinds of awesome.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:13:08 -0800

You guys are so easily fooled. Those aren't all pictures of him, he just looks like every captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:17:45 -0800

He appears to be in a wheelchair in every one of these photos, which I will assume is some sort of subtle antitwar statement.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:18:08 -0800

At the risk of stereotyping, he looks more British Empire than German or Polish though he does have a certain Prince Philip vibe that works either way.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:21:06 -0800

I would die before I would make a composite of my head and a Nazi uniform. This is gross. To each his own, and I see where he's coming from. However, I don't want to know how I'd look as a member of the Waffen SS. Yuck.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:23:20 -0800

Yeah, I'm with TwelveTwo. But I don't think it's possible he looked like every captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation that fought in World War II. Surely some of them had mustaches. Although it's entirely possible he has 80 twin brothers who look just like every captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation that fought in World War II. Perhaps some sisters if they were mannish. I suppose you could glue a mustache on. But do you notice how none of them have mustaches? That's the big tip off right there.

By: pots

pots — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:23:36 -0800

Ashamed of your uniform Commandant Lassard?

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:28:41 -0800

This guy did and then ~~recreated it.~~ lost his fucking mind.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:31:05 -0800

I'm really disappointed that these are mockups. The power of obsession is almost totally washed away by the photoshop.

By: gurple

gurple — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:33:19 -0800

Have you ever wondered what you would look like dressed as a captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II? All at once? Way too warm, for one thing.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:37:48 -0800

Nazis: Yuck

By: Sova

Sova — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:48:00 -0800

He's missed out the WAAF, I'm going to reserve judgement til he puts that one up.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:49:30 -0800

I've benefited from this man's single-minded obsession. In the spring of 2006, our theatre company did an outdoor production of Much Ado About Nothing. As remains our trademark, we set the comedy in the latter days of WWII. Swing music. Young men in uniform. It was a concept that really worked. (I.1, II.1, III.2, V.4) But finding the right look for our officers was a bit of a challenge. While there are so many photos of several courageous fighting men, rarely do you find a portrait that gives a comprehensive look of what insignia goes where. Lucky for us, I stumbled upon this very website. And so, I tip a costumed hat to this incredibly single-minded individual.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:50:32 -0800

Nazis: Yuck Maybe, but it's hard to dispute that they had the best uniforms.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 16:54:38 -0800

... they had the best uniforms. Hugo Boss. Really.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:03:26 -0800

Drab green. Drab brown. Drab grey. Drab blue. Drab brown. Drab grey. Drab green. Drab green. Drab grey. Drab green. Drab blue. Drab brown. Drab blue. Drab grey. Drab blue. Drab grey. Drab brown. O CANADA!!! Drab green. Drab grey. Drab brown. Drab blue. Drab brown. Drab grey. Drab green. Drab brown. Drab brown. Drab blue. Drab grey.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:05:36 -0800

Hugo Boss, huh? Makes me wonder what cologne* they used - Calvin Klein sounds suitably Germanic. * Köln

By: jedicus

jedicus — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:21:47 -0800

Calvin Klein sounds suitably Germanic. Yeah, Calvin Klein is Jewish. Also, he was born in late 1942.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:32:27 -0800

Scrub him out, then.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:34:18 -0800

* Kölnisch Wasser

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:53:07 -0800

Wow, I always thought WW2 officers pants were crotchless vinyl. Things you learn.

By: Kronos_to_Earth

Kronos_to_Earth — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:02:16 -0800

I wonder if it would work with Captain Beyond. I'll be back in a bit.

By: not that girl

not that girl — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:12:35 -0800

I'm really disappointed that these are mockups. The power of obsession is almost totally washed away by the photoshop. I really wanted them to be portraits of him actually wearing all the uniforms, too.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:14:03 -0800

Actually, I would love to see a single portrait of him wearing all the uniforms at once.

By: standbythree

standbythree — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:20:26 -0800

Distressingly fascinating.

By: emjaybee

emjaybee — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:23:29 -0800

I can never let my husband find this web site. I have to be thankful as it is that he and his buddies no longer play three-day Risk games in my living room. But who's more the fool, the nerd or she who marries the nerd? Don't answer.

By: OverlappingElvis

OverlappingElvis — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:36:29 -0800

disclaimer that I realize that actual clinical DSM-grade OCD isn't funny and that people with odd fixations actually don't have OCD but are merely really into their shit but that comparing behaviours which resemble actual mental illness on a smaller scale can be somewhat funny the same way we compare various people who annoy us to HITLER et cetera Aww, thanks!

By: porpoise

porpoise — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:05:19 -0800

When I read nerdery I immediately thought of it as some place to raise nerds. "... now continuing on our tour, that is the computer lab to the right and the robotics lab next to it. Conveniently placed is the mechanics shop opposite to robotics. At the end of the hall is our very special place where we gestate historical re-enactment nerds. Shhh. Please keep your voices down, they can be quite excitable..."

By: naoko

naoko — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:18:53 -0800

I was totally about to say something SMRT about how US Navy Captains are not the same as Captains in the other branches...but of course this guy preempted that concern. Anyway...it's interesting how little the uniforms have changed in the last 60 years, at least for the US - is that true for other countries as well? I also would like to observe that I love me some USMC dress blues.

By: fermezporte

fermezporte — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:29:35 -0800

Is it weird that I found this kind of adorable, like he's somebody's dotty grandfather? Then I got to Nazi ones which are weird and made me wonder if he just made the others as justificationf or having the Nazi ones on his hard drive.

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:59:28 -0800

Then I got to Nazi ones which are weird and made me wonder if he just made the others as justification for having the Nazi ones on his hard drive. Surely not. This website is huge. It would be like Michaelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel as an excuse to draw boobies.

By: parmanparman

parmanparman — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:34:01 -0800

You all missed the Ode!(wav!)

By: dead cousin ted

dead cousin ted — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:36:10 -0800

He appears to be in a wheelchair in every one of these photos, which I will assume is some sort of subtle antitwar statement. I thought those were just regular chairs, actually. Either that or the wheelchairs back in the day sucked ass.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:59:50 -0800

Well, it's a good start. Now he needs to add himself in the garb of a: *Draconian soldier *Colonial warrior (old style) *Colonial warrior (new style) *Hawk-man *Imperial Naval officer *Imperial Army officer *US Colonial Marines officer *Tech-com *Soldier *FORCE: space officer *Redshirt *Alpha Moonbase officer and so on.

By: jacquilynne

jacquilynne — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:34:19 -0800

Shit like this here is why the internet exists.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:04:19 -0800

I like how the photos look like colorized black and white photos. Dressing as a captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II--except Germany, 'cause Nazis!--would be lame(r).

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:13:47 -0800

It would be like Michaelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel as an excuse to draw boobies. That actually happens to be my working theory for explaining the vast majority of that old-time art.

By: Graygorey

Graygorey — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:51:09 -0800

'S wild that every single uniform has the exact same sleeve shape and cuff length. I almost wonder if they all go to the same tailor or somethin'. It's uncanny, y'know? You'd think "hey, poofy sleeves in the north Atlantic may not have the same advantages as poofy sleeves in the desert, or vicey-versey, y'know, but then here's this guy to try an' prove you wrong. Go figure. (doing my best "Bugs Bunny as Hairdresser" voice...)

By: Authorized User

Authorized User — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:04:40 -0800

Have you ever wondered what you would look like dressed as a captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II? This guy did and then recreated it. No he didn't. It's a great website but he is missing a lot of countries, most notably Finland and the minor axis countries Hungary and Romania of the axis and India and Greece of the allies. Also Chinese forces of both sides. In addtion, it includes only a few token Naval uniforms from any side. Indeed he does not even make this claim himself. Also assuming this person is a weird person because he does not expunge the nazis from his military history website is pretty stupid.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:29:17 -0800

By: Serial Killer Slumber Party

Serial Killer Slumber Party — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 00:44:46 -0800

What an impressive amount of research and work this took to make. Great site. Although, this level of nerdery makes me feel normal. Also, I would like to add that there is no way he's going to ever pass as...Japanese That is true, however he has got that covered. Read the description next to the portrait. Nerdery of this level covers all bases!

By: rmd1023

rmd1023 — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 03:58:55 -0800

that is some industrial grade nerdery right there. and i mean this in the best way possible. this is the kind of thing that makes me so very fond of the internet. it used to be that this kind of weird obsession tended to be restricted to the crafts/hobby building at the big fair, where you could see someone's 300' chewing-gum-wrapper chain, or someone's collection of $OddThing. but now, this level of obsessive hobbying can be shared with the world.

By: marmaduke_yaverland

marmaduke_yaverland — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 05:00:27 -0800

Yeah my boss walked in just while I was bringing up the picture of the smiling guy in the SS uniform.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 05:42:45 -0800

On the bright side, at least the SS guy in the picture wasn't in the process of, er, sheathing his bayonet.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:22:15 -0800

This is some serious fucking nerdery right here. If nerd was a controlled substance, this would get you locked up for years. In the back of my mind I sususpect this project is like 60% nerdery and 30% weird sex thing.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:34:24 -0800

In the back of my mind I sususpect this project is like 60% nerdery and 30% weird sex thing. Well, duh....doesn't take a genius to realize that the world be a much sexier place if we all dressed up as WW II Captains.

By: Jon_Evil

Jon_Evil — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:52:05 -0800

I seriously doubt it was a weird sex thing, because of photoshop. If it were a sex thing, he'd actually have gone out and gotten the uniforms so he could wear them. (unless there's an established fetish I'm unaware of that involves photoshopping your own face into porn, etc.)

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:53:25 -0800

(unless there's an established fetish I'm unaware of that involves photoshopping your own face into porn, etc.) They're called "shoppers" or "stickers" and it's really best to avoid their websites.

By: painquale

painquale — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 07:59:07 -0800

I'm loving this thread. The very best Mefi threads are the ones full of superb jokes, nerd sympathizing, and interesting information about Nazi Youth couture. Good job, guys.

By: doctoryes

doctoryes — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 09:17:51 -0800

I'm glad you all love the Captain as much as I do. And although I may have exaggerated a bit with the every branch, every nation bit, I have this little spark of hope that this is still a work in progress and that somewhere in an Australian basement our brave Captain is fretting over the back story of the lone caucasian fighting alongside Nepalese soldiers...

By: Megami

Megami — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:37:56 -0800

Okay, I am obviously not meant to be on the blue, as I find this more on the side of wankery than celebration-worthy nerdiness. Then again, I spent time working in the Australian Defence Organisation and was working on a degree in military history, so perhaps that has skewed my point of view. Or perhaps I am just a misanthrope.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:41:13 -0800

Okay, I am obviously not meant to be on the blue Don't worry, we have room for you guys, too.

By: Gnatcho

Gnatcho — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:09:30 -0800

Have you ever wondered what you would look like dressed as a captain in every branch of armed forces of every nation who fought in World War II? Hey, I just realized that if I get the my face photographed at the right angle and crop it, I can see what I'd look like, too! It's not a final product, it's a template. Me vested as every priest of the Churches of East and West, anyone?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 01:05:41 -0800

Nah, you'd never be able to pull off a Buddhist priest like Tripitaka.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 01:06:55 -0800

although i'm sure many people would like to pull off a Buddhist priest like Tripitaka, if only the actor wasn't a woman....

By: rmd1023

rmd1023 — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 09:38:05 -0800

skygazer -- doesn't take a genius to realize that the world be a much sexier place if we all dressed up as WW II Captains. it worked for captain jack harkness!