More Michele Bachmann shenanigans

June 26, 2009 2:34 PM

Michele Bachman waxes fuzzy on the census with Glenn Beck. Michele Bachmann is continuing her anti-Census campaign and getting brighter by the minute - like that last intense glow before the bulb burns completely out.
posted by PuppyCat (89 comments total)

What an odd woman.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:43 PM on June 26, 2009

These people can't be real. They can't be.

Is this really how the half of the country that votes Republican thinks? I read fanciful stories about how Republicans of yore were at least rational, thinking human beings. You might disagree with them, sure, but they weren't insane. What happened? Who can I grab and shake?
posted by Garak at 2:44 PM on June 26, 2009 [12 favorites]

Less constituents will be counted in Minnesota, and then the state will have to give up a congressional seat. I see no problem here.
posted by Weebot at 2:46 PM on June 26, 2009 [18 favorites]

Is there really a Republican case to be made against the Census or is this just Michele "Thar be traitors in Congress!" Bachmann being a little nutty?
posted by Avenger at 2:58 PM on June 26, 2009

I know Twitter is massively unpopular here, but I've been contributing to a #NotAskedOnCensus meme there that seemed to have been started by MeFi's Own Astro Zombie.

My most popular question appears to be: "If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea ... does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?"
posted by wendell at 2:59 PM on June 26, 2009 [6 favorites]

I, also, encourage all Republicans to refrain from turning in their census forms.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:01 PM on June 26, 2009 [21 favorites]

Less constituents will be counted in Minnesota, and then the state will have to give up a congressional seat. I see no problem here.

That state has also willingly given up one Senate seat, or is the One Senator Short intended to make up for Bachmann's multiple personalities?
posted by wendell at 3:01 PM on June 26, 2009

You know, once upon a time I was going to make an FPP of Tracie's Comic Confrontations from Jezebel, but this one is really the funniest and I am so terribly lazy that I'm never going to make that post.

Comic Confrontations: Judge Judy vs. Michelle Bachmann.
posted by peep at 3:02 PM on June 26, 2009 [10 favorites]

Can Norm Coleman file a suit about this too?
posted by grounded at 3:03 PM on June 26, 2009

Is there some background on this thing for us who haven't heard about Michele Bachman and her anti-census campaign before?

Anyway, I can see why you would like to not fill out whether or not you are suffering from any mental illnessess, given the stigma such information carries. I understand that census information is anonymised (to a certain extent), but that doesn't mean that you can't deanonymise things. Bruce Schneier has written about this here and here.
posted by bjrn at 3:04 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

I tell people here in Sweden that I follow US politics more closely than our own because of a number of reasons, but always come back to my opinion that it's simply more entertaining. If following Swedish politics is like watching a long marathon, US politics and the surrounding media circus is like watching pro wrestling. Neuron-meltingly ridiculous yet hilarious. And not a good hilarious, more of a I-can't-believe-these-people-exist-and-laughing-is-my-only-way-of-dealing-with-it.. hilarious.

"You're either for freedom or you're not! And this Sunday in Madison Square Garden, you'd best refuse that census or yer a traitor to yer country, brrrotherrr!"
posted by pyrex at 3:08 PM on June 26, 2009 [17 favorites]

Michele Bachmann has been boasting for some time about boycotting the census this year - here and here, claiming that ACORN is somehow involved in some nefarious way. She's got to be an alien.
posted by PuppyCat at 3:09 PM on June 26, 2009

Sorry about that- got excited.
posted by PuppyCat at 3:09 PM on June 26, 2009

And that second link, again . It's 105 outside. I'm forgiven.
posted by PuppyCat at 3:11 PM on June 26, 2009

Meanwhile, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/25/limbaugh-blames-sanfords_n_220993.html.

LIMBAUGH: This is almost like: I don't give a damn! Country's going to hell in a handbasket. I just want out of here! He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn't want any part of it. He lost the battle and said "What the hell? The Federal government is taking over! I want to enjoy life!"

If this does become a trend (Influential Conservatives 'Giving Up' and Destroying Their Reputations), it could mean the Death of Conservatism, aka The Greatest Thing Ever to Happen to America.

I was considering front-page posting about this but decided better against it (aren't you glad?)

But seriously, what's the difference between Bachmann's bat-shit craziness and Limbaugh's? (Correct answer: Limbaugh found a way to monetize his!)
posted by wendell at 3:11 PM on June 26, 2009

Oops, munged link: Lash Rambo blamed Sanford's affair on Obama
posted by wendell at 3:13 PM on June 26, 2009

ACORN also put microchips in her fillings and took a dump in her herb garden.
posted by ...possums at 3:18 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

Oh, wow. I thought she might have some... not-crazy reasons.
posted by bjrn at 3:19 PM on June 26, 2009

Crazy Eyes and Beck are fuckin' nuts.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 3:24 PM on June 26, 2009

Oh that Limbaugh! Obviously he doesn't realize Sanford began his Argentinian Hottie affair before the stimulus money thing or Obama. I'm sure he forgot about the fact Sanford may have used all that nasty tax payer money to partially fund his booty calls. Merely an accidental omission I'm sure.
posted by tkchrist at 3:27 PM on June 26, 2009

PALIN/BACHMAN 2012!
posted by eyeballkid at 3:35 PM on June 26, 2009 [10 favorites]

As I understand it, the census is a constitutional requirement to apportion representation and taxes. In Bachmann's defense, it is buried way in the back.

No wait, I am wrong. Here it is in Article 1, section 2. Literally the only thing that precedes it is :

Article I

Section 1. All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

... or the part that gives Bachmann a job. Or is she concerned that the framers may have anti-American views?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:39 PM on June 26, 2009 [5 favorites]

I see crazy people.
posted by localroger at 3:44 PM on June 26, 2009

For a long time, Republicans have opposed statistical sampling in the census, insisting on an actual headcount (which undercounts the poor) and I've heard some of that controversy coming back up this time, but I've never heard of anything like this. In fact, in the discussions about sampling, it's usually mentioned that minorities are afraid of the government and don't want to send back the census forms.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 3:45 PM on June 26, 2009

PALIN/BACHMAN 2012!

Is that a campaign or a porn movie?
posted by dersins at 3:46 PM on June 26, 2009

Well, all the Constitution says is that you have to count the people. So it's perfectly fair to debate whether things like phone numbers and mental health should be included.

I mean, I think she's being paranoid, but this really seems low on the Right Wing Craziness Meter (way under the Obama wasn't born in America / Obama wants to take away all our guns / Obama is a Fascist Socialist dicatator stuff, for example).
posted by wildcrdj at 3:46 PM on June 26, 2009

You know what? If we (and by 'we' I mean liberals) didn't "give up" and go off to Argentina during eight years of George Bush, the idea that someone snapped after six months of Obama makes the right wing sound pretty pathetic and weak.
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:52 PM on June 26, 2009 [10 favorites]

I mean, I think she's being paranoid, but this really seems low on the Right Wing Craziness Meter (way under the Obama wasn't born in America / Obama wants to take away all our guns / Obama is a Fascist Socialist dicatator stuff, for example).

To be fair, wildcrdj, this is the same woman who said of the National Service Bill, "the real concern is that there are provisions for what I would call re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go and work in some of these politically correct forums."
posted by waitingtoderail at 3:53 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Since she thinks the Federal Government shouldn't have our phone numbers, I guess she was even more pissed off about warrant-less wiretapping, right?
posted by Saxon Kane at 3:55 PM on June 26, 2009 [8 favorites]

You should see the other guy: are you suggesting Glenn Beck himself is not crazy eyes?
posted by adamrice at 3:55 PM on June 26, 2009

TBH I think there is some legitimate argument against the government collecting information on ethnicity, national status etc. I personally think any information the government collects or new powers granted should always be viewed with an eye to what it could potentially be used for rather than what it is claimed it will be used for. I'm sure those crazy terrorist Icelanders would agree.

I don't think there's really any argument against the collection of a census in general. Nor is it really that acceptable to break a law just because you disagree with it. Especially given you are a U.S Congresswoman and it would be much more productive to campaign for change through legislature et al.

I think I've heard her name before. Is she renowned for crazy shenanigans? Actually since Glenn Beck seems to agree with her so much that must be true...


I tell people here in Sweden that I follow US politics more closely than our own because of a number of reasons, but always come back to my opinion that it's simply more entertaining.

You should watch prime ministers questions/debates in the commons. It's essentially a load of old etonians using their well honed banter skills to slyly insult each other.
posted by Erberus at 4:01 PM on June 26, 2009

I used to work for the Census (and may again, if I can). They take privacy seriously.

During the orientation, they talked about how in 1980, Census workers held off FBI agents by barricading their office until an injunction could be issued, preventing the disclosure of confidential information.

Likewise, we were repeatedly told that if we disclosed identifying information, we would be liable for up to $10,000 in fines and 10 years in prison. No matter how juicy my anecdotes, I can't tell you where or who was involved.

I administered the long form to plenty of folks, and routinely got questioned about why the Census had to know if they shit indoors. The answer is the same then as it is now—they don't care what the hell you do, but they do care about having accurate aggregate data. Regarding the indoor plumbing question, that impacts water budgets and infrastructure planning.

Finally, people used to ask me all the time how I'd know if they were lying—the answer was not only that I wouldn't know, but that I didn't particularly care. It's my job to report the data, not investigate it.

So, yeah, Bachmann's a goddamn loon and bad for America. I'm surprised that whoever runs against her can't just bury her with her own quotes, but then, there are a lot of idiots in America and it's only fair that they're represented by one of their own.
posted by klangklangston at 4:02 PM on June 26, 2009 [42 favorites]

Maybe a better question can be asked thus: "Why are we bringing in an organization that already has numerous charges pending against it, including voter registration fraud, which was also formerly headed by a guy who embezzled a shitload of money, when we already have a perfectly sizable enough organization already in place, whom we can trust, and who also needs the money?"

Personally, I agree somewhat, in that I don't want to tell some stranger from an organization that was at least partially founded by Saul Alinsky the time I leave my home in the morning for work, how long I am at work, and what my commute time is.
posted by CountSpatula at 4:03 PM on June 26, 2009

Republicans should also stop voting as a protest against ACORN.
posted by bhnyc at 4:06 PM on June 26, 2009 [6 favorites]

Paranoid? Let's not forget how the Census Bureau helped the federal government imprison Japanese-Americans during World War II.
posted by J-Train at 4:09 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

> They take privacy seriously.

But you can still deanonymise the data. I don't think it's the census takers you should be concerned about, it's the fact that using the aggregate data and some information on someone (location and date of birth or occupation) you can get a whole lot more information about that someone.
posted by bjrn at 4:09 PM on June 26, 2009

"Maybe a better question can be asked thus: "Why are we bringing in an organization that already has numerous charges pending against it, including voter registration fraud, which was also formerly headed by a guy who embezzled a shitload of money, when we already have a perfectly sizable enough organization already in place, whom we can trust, and who also needs the money?"

Personally, I agree somewhat, in that I don't want to tell some stranger from an organization that was at least partially founded by Saul Alinsky the time I leave my home in the morning for work, how long I am at work, and what my commute time is."

what
posted by klangklangston at 4:12 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

Michele Bachmann on Hardball in October 2008 calling Barack Obama and pretty much all liberals anti-American.

I love it when people complain about "the government" when they work for the government.

Maybe she's in The Roches.

We don't give out our ages
And we don't give out our phone numbers

Can Norm Coleman file a suit about this too?

Wasn't he already in trouble for too many suits before the election?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:14 PM on June 26, 2009

"Why are we bringing in an organization that already has numerous charges pending against it, including voter registration fraud, which was also formerly headed by a guy who embezzled a shitload of money, when we already have a perfectly sizable enough organization already in place, whom we can trust, and who also needs the money?"

I didn't know we were hiring Right-Wing Think Tanks to work on the Census. Or maybe SpatulaBoy mistook ACORN for something it isn't.
posted by wendell at 4:17 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

"But you can still deanonymise the data. I don't think it's the census takers you should be concerned about, it's the fact that using the aggregate data and some information on someone (location and date of birth or occupation) you can get a whole lot more information about that someone."

Kind of.

While I can understand Schneier's concerns, that's a partial deanonymizing which depends on small-population tracts, and doesn't actually tell you that much more about the person. You can find out what, what their income is? What ethnicity they identify as? By the time you have their location, date of birth and occupation, you already have the actionable information about that person. Finding out that they also have indoor plumbing isn't much of a concern.

And this is also mitigated by the fact that the American Community Survey is a smaller sample than the Census, and since those populations aren't connected, the ability to connect those more personal responses to an actual person is even more strained.
posted by klangklangston at 4:17 PM on June 26, 2009

WHY DON'T THEY JUST COUNT THE ACORNS BECAUSE THERE WERE NO ACORNS LAST FALL THIS IS ALL ACORN CONSPIRACY!
posted by dirigibleman at 4:20 PM on June 26, 2009

Maybe she's in The Roches.

We are Maggie and Terre and Suzzy and Crazy,
Maggie and Terre and Suzzy and Crazy Roche!

We don't give out our ages
And we don't give out our phone numbers
And Barack Obama is secretly a muslim terrorist who wants to go back in time and abort you and feed your abortremains to Satan like all muslins do and did you see how black he is?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:29 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

> And this is also mitigated by the fact that the American Community Survey is a smaller sample than the Census, and since those populations aren't connected, the ability to connect those more personal responses to an actual person is even more strained.

Ah, I had gotten the impression that it was all one big lump of questions. The disconnect clearly helps a lot.
posted by bjrn at 4:31 PM on June 26, 2009

Let's not forget how the Census Bureau helped the federal government imprison Japanese-Americans during World War II.

But I thought that right-wingers believe that internment was good?
posted by Saxon Kane at 4:34 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

Well, all the Constitution says is that you have to count the people. So it's perfectly fair to debate whether things like phone numbers and mental health should be included.

Perhaps, but kind of moot since they're not.
posted by HumuloneRanger at 4:35 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

What it all comes down to is that the current mainstream of the Republican Party is so goddamn deranged and froth-mouthed that ANYTHING that's controlled by the Democrats is the worst thing ever. They're not against the Census, they're against the Democrats doing the Census- against the Democrats even existing.

The psychotic froth going on about the Census right now is born of the same primordial ooze that Scott Roeder and his ilk have been stepping out of. While I applaud the GOP's dedication to self-destruction, I do fear that they plan on taking more people with them.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:42 PM on June 26, 2009 [8 favorites]

I didn't know we were hiring Right-Wing Think Tanks to work on the Census. Or maybe SpatulaBoy mistook ACORN for something it isn't.

Right-Wing Think Tank? I was referring to the USPS. You know, those people who deliver mail? You might have heard of them?
posted by CountSpatula at 4:43 PM on June 26, 2009

PolitiFact: Bachmann is wrong about the Constitution covering her census non-compliance... and wrong about ACORN being deeply involved with the census (which is her whole reason for not complying in the first place).
posted by Rhaomi at 4:47 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

it's not so crazy if you stop thinking of these people as conservatives and start thinking of them as radicals who would overthrow the government if they had the opportunity and have been working tirelessly to push a radical agenda through the government as it exists... in that context attempting to de-legitimize one of the basic institutions of government makes sense.

in 2012 when there is massive voting fraud due to illegal mexicans and the red umm... tea-colored revolution takes to the streets, you can bet they will all be armed with the knowledge that ACORN subverted the census to keep the real america down...
posted by geos at 4:47 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

They're not against the Census, they're against the Democrats doing the Census- against the Democrats even existing.

Actually, I'm pretty sure a lot of the people against the census this time around are kinda pissed that control of it has been taken from the Commerce department and put directly under White House control. The Constitutionality of this move aside, a big thing that has to be taken into consideration here is regarding the current administration during future censuses and how they will attempt to Gerrymander and manipulate the results in order for direct gain for their ideology.
posted by CountSpatula at 4:48 PM on June 26, 2009

After the past twenty years, it's adorable to see the Republicans think they have any sort of moral authority regarding redistricting.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:57 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

I got picked to do the the American Community Survey. It is freakily intrusive. When I didn't fill out the first form they sent they sent me another one with a vaguely threatening letter telling me that if I didn't fill it out a census taker would show up at my house.

It was so intrusive that I googled to make sure that the thing was a valid government document, and found this hilarious FAQ.

I am unable to respond because of my age and poor health.

We regret that you have been unwell. However, a response to the questionnaire is required by law. If it would be easier for you, you can call us toll-free on 1-800-354-7271 and complete the questionnaire over the phone. If you are not able to complete the questionnaire by yourself, you can ask a friend or relative to help you.

posted by winna at 5:01 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Maybe a better question can be asked thus: "Why are we bringing in an organization that already has numerous charges pending against it, including voter registration fraud, which was also formerly headed by a guy who embezzled a shitload of money, when we already have a perfectly sizable enough organization already in place, whom we can trust, and who also needs the money?"

Personally, I agree somewhat, in that I don't want to tell some stranger from an organization that was at least partially founded by Saul Alinsky the time I leave my home in the morning for work, how long I am at work, and what my commute time is.

Cryptic allusions do not clear communication make. Say what you mean.
posted by mr_roboto at 5:02 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Yes, she is nutty and distorts the facts in a typically reactionary way.
ThinkProgress lays out the facts.

-- [She is] shocked that the Census would ask for people’s telephone numbers. However, that information is not required by law, and is used only to contact recipients who have incomplete forms.

Bachmann is confusing the 2010 Census and the American Community Survey (ACS), a long-form survey sent out to one in 40 households (0.0028 percent of the American public) each year. The Census, sent out once every ten years, asks only about one’s age, race, and the type of home one lives in. The ACS, started in 1996, collects more detailed data used to distribute more than $300 billion in federal funds to local communities.

Most importantly, the questions that Bachmann is so concerned about — questions she suggests might somehow lead to internment — are not new questions (not to mention they frequently overlap with information given to the IRS every year). Census questions on race have been asked since 1790; home language since 1890; rent since 1880; and income since 1940. The Census has asked what kind of heating fuel heats Americans’ homes since 1940.

Finally, it’s a federal crime for any Census worker to violate the confidentiality of the Census form, punishable by a federal prison sentence of up to five years, a fine of up to $250,000, or both. --
posted by Rashomon at 5:13 PM on June 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I don't get it. According to the Census Bureau: The 2010 Census will be a short-form only census and will count all residents living in the United States as well as ask for name, sex, age, date of birth, race, ethnicity, relationship and housing tenure.

All of this information is public record anyway, so what's the big deal?
posted by lexicakes at 5:17 PM on June 26, 2009

The Community survey is intrusive because they are trying to learn important things about public health. They don't really give a damn about you personally, but they want to know how many people have arthritis, how many people have diabetes, yes, even how many people have mental illness, so that they can do something about it.

I know the people who analyse this stuff. They sign contracts up the wazoo to keep all the details private. And they don't care about your details. What they care about is stuff like how 1 in 10 people have arthritis, including large numbers of working age people, so they can talk about how doctors need more rheumatology training, and also how arthritis can contribute to disability so it's important to understand how it can be managed to reduce the number of people disabled by it. (Yeah, I worked at an arthritis-related epidemiology unit - how can you tell?)

I would volunteer to do the long survey, if I were allowed to, because it's as good - or maybe better - than giving $100 to any charity. It's a million times better than buying any ribbons. You are actively helping your fellow citizens - and maybe even yourself. You are giving social scientists and public health specialists solid data about health and livestyles so that they can better understand things like inequality, health problems, etc.
posted by jb at 5:54 PM on June 26, 2009 [10 favorites]

Michelle, ma belle
You sure sound mentally unwell
My Michelle

Michelle, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble

I loathe you, I loathe you, I loooooathe you
That's all I want to say
Until I find a way
I will say the only words I know that
You'll understand

Michele, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble

I need to, I need to, I need to
I need to make you see
How little you mean to me
Until I do I'm hoping you will
Know what I mean

I loathe you...

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you
I think you know by now
I'll get to you somehow
Until I do I'm telling you so
You'll understand

Michele, ma belle
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Tres bien ensemble

I will say the only words I know
That you'll understand, my Michele
posted by jamstigator at 5:54 PM on June 26, 2009 [5 favorites]

"Right-Wing Think Tank? I was referring to the USPS. You know, those people who deliver mail? You might have heard of them?"

LOL what

Are your meds kicking in or wearing off?
posted by klangklangston at 6:16 PM on June 26, 2009 [8 favorites]

"Finally, it’s a federal crime for any Census worker to violate the confidentiality of the Census form, punishable by a federal prison sentence of up to five years, a fine of up to $250,000, or both. --"

Huh. Either I remembered it wrong, or they've changed that.

Still, not worth it to tell you which of the folks I interviewed took personal pleasure in getting the Census guy fucked up (one in five, roughly).

I still have my badge somewhere around here. I used to joke about kicking down doors and then being like, One, Two, Three, Four, Five…
posted by klangklangston at 6:18 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

"One, Two, Three, Four, Five?" Article I, Section 2 clearly says, "The actual Enumeration shall be made as eenie, meenie, minie, moe."
posted by kirkaracha at 6:46 PM on June 26, 2009

I just wanted to jump in here to say that, yes, I started that Twitter meme, and am damn proud of the fact.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:24 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

I'm sorry, but shes basically full of shit. She assumed office in 1/07. If this was in fact a concern of hers, she could have written a bill for an amendment to abolish the Census.

Also I keep hearing about ACORN. I am going to need citations about voter fraud committed by *THE ORGANIZATION*.
posted by MrLint at 7:25 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Did she previously answer Census questions? And if so, why's she so worried now?
posted by etaoin at 8:02 PM on June 26, 2009

Right-Wing Think Tank? I was referring to the USPS. You know, those people who deliver mail? You might have heard of them?

Ohh... my...gawd.
They're in it too?
posted by Floydd at 8:04 PM on June 26, 2009

Does the federal government really need to know our phone numbers?

as if the NSA didn't exist - clearly, this woman has taken leave of her census
posted by pyramid termite at 8:28 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Also I keep hearing about ACORN. I am going to need citations about voter fraud committed by *THE ORGANIZATION*

I've decided that ACORN is basically the GOP's version of COBRA. From the sound of it, it's lead by terrorist masterminds from a secret undersea base where they plot different ways to elect negros to public office and screw with the weather. Or something.
posted by Avenger at 8:33 PM on June 26, 2009 [5 favorites]

LOL what

Are your meds kicking in or wearing off?

Note: Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the
issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site.

Good to see you're upholding the high level of conversation at this community weblog.
posted by CountSpatula at 9:31 PM on June 26, 2009

I think that there's some sort of Republican style guide that says that you have to mention ACORN, George Soros or Bill Ayers in every rant.
posted by octothorpe at 9:35 PM on June 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

"Good to see you're upholding the high level of conversation at this community weblog."

GIGO, man. Post a bunch of GOP Markov about the Census, Acorn and the Post Office, expect a o_O in return.
posted by klangklangston at 9:50 PM on June 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

I've decided that ACORN is basically the GOP's version of COBRA.

Except in this case it's not ACORN's leader who wears the hood.
posted by HumuloneRanger at 10:26 PM on June 26, 2009 [3 favorites]

Good to see you're upholding the high level of conversation at this community weblog.

And describing the USPS as some sinister political organ of the White House is upholding a high level of conversation in what way particularly?

Seriously, dude. Everyone knows the Greys did it.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:11 AM on June 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

According to this Bachmann comic, the Minnesota press spent a long time ignoring her craziness, which may explain in part why she's managed to stay in office.

But I have to say, my favorite Michele Bachmann crazycakes moment would have to be the time she literally crouched down and hid behind some bushes to spy on a gay-rights rally.
posted by kosher_jenny at 3:27 AM on June 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

US politics and the surrounding media circus is like watching pro wrestling.

Just add Yakkety Sax and it's Benny Hill.
posted by JaredSeth at 5:20 AM on June 27, 2009

I love how all of you intelligent people are trying to seriously debate a discussion brought up by a couple of Republican stooges. Here's the facts: The Republican's only hope for survival is to make Americans paranoid that their government is becoming too powerful so what better way than to make them think that the Census is going to somehow take away their freedom. This is just another way evil corporations are using fear to make stupid people vote against their interests to keep their disproportionate piece of the pie. Stop buying into the merit of the argument and start seeing through it.
posted by any major dude at 8:05 AM on June 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

But I have to say, my favorite Michele Bachmann crazycakes moment would have to be the time she literally crouched down and hid behind some bushes to spy on a gay-rights rally.

Oh, come on. You don't KNOW she was crouching to spy on the rally. Maybe she really had to go pee.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:19 AM on June 27, 2009

I've decided that ACORN is basically the GOP's version of COBRA. From the sound of it, it's lead by terrorist masterminds from a secret undersea base where they plot different ways to elect negros to public office and screw with the weather. Or something.
posted by Avenger

I'm very confused.
posted by COBRA! at 8:33 AM on June 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

As an employee of a local government planning department, I would like to personally thank any and all people who have received, correctly filled out, and returned the long forms. How else would we know when to tear up roads, and how to incorrectly time traffic lights? Otherwise, local agencies are forced to dig through your trash and tap your phone lines.

Of course I am joking. We use this information to better serve your communities, generate lists of unmet needs and figure out the best way to support those needs. Sure, we could eyeball the whole thing, guessing at the general population's needs, but that seems wasteful of your tax dollars. In a sad, geeky sort of way, city planners get excited to have a new set of data to work with, because their work is then more accurate. This isn't about you as a person, but you as part of the larger collective.

Again, I thank you for helping us improve your communities.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:15 AM on June 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

Beck, corporate shill proclaim climate bill a 'watermelon': Thin layer of green on the outside, 'Communist red' inside
posted by homunculus at 9:46 AM on June 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow - not only did he make the analogy, he had a real watermelon in studio! Wacky antics of TV faces never disappoints. "I'm not really listening to your words, I just want some watermelon. Yummy! Look, it's so good, I'll rub my tummy!" Also, Phil Kerpen is not who I'd want promoting anything. He looks fidgity and weasely like none other.

And is there some racial undertones there? Or are watermelons delicious for everyone again?
posted by filthy light thief at 10:27 AM on June 27, 2009

It is somewhat awe-inspiring that the pinnacle of mental health care in the USA is to give the damaged soul a television program. That's "awe-inspiring" in the WTFBBQ connotation, not the "wow, that's a great thing" connotation.

It's really not all that far off from Running Man, where the convicted battle to survive for the benefit of television ratings.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:34 AM on June 27, 2009

So I guess we don't have to wait until later to find out why there's a watermelon there.
posted by Pope Guilty at 10:51 AM on June 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Okay, I've finally figured out what's going on here. Michelle Bachmann was told by a crazy constituent that they are asking intrusive questions on the Census.
So she called the census bureau and accused them of preparing to round up Japanese. Then she asked them what other sorts of commie questions were on the census.
The census bureau employee said, "What date and time did you leave mental stability?" And hung up on her.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:52 PM on June 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

And is there some racial undertones there? Or are watermelons delicious for everyone again?

At least they didn't use a fried chicken prop. Maybe next time.

"See? Crunchy on the outside, but full of tender, juicy Socialist meat on the inside!"
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:02 PM on June 27, 2009

a big thing that has to be taken into consideration here is regarding the current administration during future censuses and how they will attempt to Gerrymander and manipulate the results in order for direct gain for their ideology.

Did you actually type that with a straight face? Inquiring minds want to know.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:54 AM on June 28, 2009

How else would we know when to tear up roads, and how to incorrectly time traffic lights?

20 sided dice?
posted by pyramid termite at 7:39 AM on June 28, 2009

No, tearing up roads is done by flipping a coin; one side says "Fuck 'em", the other says "Fuck 'em harder."
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:29 PM on June 28, 2009

Just reduce funding to 99% and watch your city's roads turn to rubble in a matter of weeks.

YOU WILL REGRET THIS!
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:26 PM on June 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

How else would we know when to tear up roads, and how to incorrectly time traffic lights?

If it's in my city, they decide that by what streets party committee people live on and who's donated more to the mayor's re-election campaign.
posted by octothorpe at 6:36 AM on June 29, 2009

More lulz: if Bachmann succeeds in scaremongering the public re: census-taking, she could be re-districted out of a job. And that would be a beautiful irony.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:42 PM on June 29, 2009