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PepsiNude
June 30, 2009 6:29 PM   Subscribe

Nothing to Hide. Air New Zealand has introduced new ads and an in-flight safety video which uses body-painted uniforms to ... get your attention. SFW due to strategically placed drink carts, seatbelts and camera angles.
posted by l33tpolicywonk (54 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Your second and third links are the same ridiculous people in the same ridiculous ad.
posted by gman at 6:38 PM on June 30, 2009


I FEEL LIKE FLYING ON THAT AIRLINE RIGHT NOW11111
posted by billysumday at 6:39 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


i saw kiwi buttocks.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:45 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


MORE COKE MORE SNICKERS
posted by boo_radley at 6:47 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm a big fan of down under. But this left much to be desired.
posted by hal9k at 6:47 PM on June 30, 2009


I wonder if they used kiwi wax.
posted by furtive at 6:59 PM on June 30, 2009


Irony of the day: "Sex Sells" ads from an industry whose glass ceiling was one of the last to be shattered.
posted by zarq at 7:00 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


They should hide that captain. I think he's hopped up on goofballs.
posted by smackfu at 7:09 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


I predict a thousand fervid masturbaters will be replaying the blow into the mouthpiece bit inside their sweaty fantasies. I might be one of them.


As for the giggles they all seem to have, I suspect they are a little uncomfortable being naked in front of the camera.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:10 PM on June 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Cool. My first post was also about (nearly) painted on clothing worn by New Zealanders.
posted by clearly at 7:11 PM on June 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Damn you SFW-ness of this video. All we got was the nice kiwi rump at the end...
posted by azarbayejani at 7:13 PM on June 30, 2009


I actually smiled, whereas my normal response to airline safety videos is to experiment with how much undiluted rage can be packed into a simple eye-rolling.

Also, it's nice to know that flamingly gay mannerisms cross cultures. And also that New Zealand is fine with that.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:17 PM on June 30, 2009


"...So don't pull it until you leave the aircraft."

ummm, I already did?
posted by not_on_display at 7:18 PM on June 30, 2009 [11 favorites]


But how did they get the sheep to stand still long enough to have uniforms painted onto them?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:29 PM on June 30, 2009


So is it OK to RIDE in one of their planes dressed similarly? Because I'M IN!
posted by Ron Thanagar at 7:33 PM on June 30, 2009


Have you seen the sort of people who ride airplanes? KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON KTHX

Confidential to the gorgeous flight attendant on my last YVR-YYZ trip: this does not apply to you. And thanks for the free gin.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:49 PM on June 30, 2009


By Carmel McCormick (supreme winner 2007, 2008) NZ Bodyart.
posted by tellurian at 7:53 PM on June 30, 2009


Sometimes having nothing to hide while traveling can be actually funny [nsfw: monkeys have sex on moving car].
posted by nickyskye at 7:53 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


This is the cutest thing out of NZ since those movies with all the hobbits.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:01 PM on June 30, 2009


Moulin Rouge?
posted by smackfu at 8:02 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


yeah, this is good...
posted by HuronBob at 8:07 PM on June 30, 2009


Sorry about double link. This is the ad. Arguably funnier than the safety video.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 8:13 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


I love that granny at the end.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:27 PM on June 30, 2009


The solution for inflight security and to counter terrorist attacks on airplanes is actually there: everyone flies buck naked. Body paint optional.
If you're thinking "yes, but you could..." I don't want to be on a plane with you.
posted by _dario at 8:44 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


So they want me to sit on those seats?
posted by null terminated at 9:03 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


For additional painted bits, see the bloopers. Sorry, still SFW. But now I know they weren't speaking gibberish at that one point, but saying Kia ora, and welcome aboard.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:34 PM on June 30, 2009


_dario: "The solution for inflight security and to counter terrorist attacks on airplanes is actually there: everyone flies buck naked. Body paint optional.
If you're thinking "yes, but you could..." I don't want to be on a plane with you.
"

And if you could -- and you've got the body to pull off the body paint look -- I DO want to be on a plane with you.

(Mile high club...)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:45 PM on June 30, 2009


Air New Zealand Staff 'Have Nothing to Hide' - Behind the Scenes.
posted by ericb at 9:47 PM on June 30, 2009


See, I totally loved it - but I apparently have the maturity level of a 14 year old boy.

If you can watch that and pay any attention to the safety speech you're better than I am. I keep getting Austin Powers flashback giggles. /easily amused
posted by Space Kitty at 10:04 PM on June 30, 2009


You know, frankly the painted on clothes look real enough on video that you wouldn't even notice, really, if it wasn't pointed out. And having been pointed out, the videos are actually more frustrating then anything else.
posted by delmoi at 10:58 PM on June 30, 2009


The solution for inflight security and to counter terrorist attacks on airplanes is actually there: everyone flies buck naked.

Previously.
posted by dhartung at 11:15 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


WHY ARE THEY GRINNING SO MUCH? I can't be offended by their barely noticeable skin if everyone's grinning.
posted by the cydonian at 11:18 PM on June 30, 2009


They're grimacing, not grinning - they're still required to carry tasers somewhere on their bodies...
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:32 PM on June 30, 2009


But how did they get the sheep to stand still long enough to have uniforms painted onto them?

This actually explains a lot. You think that "sheep" is another word for sexy beautiful woman.

Suddenly the 'sheep shagger' jokes stop being racist and unnecessarily hateful and start being something like a compliment.

WHY ARE THEY GRINNING SO MUCH? I can't be offended by their barely noticeable skin if everyone's grinning.

Because they're from New Zealand.

Link related.

It's good here.
posted by The Monkey at 12:29 AM on July 1, 2009


Having actually seen this safety video on a flight to Auckland three days ago, it's a whole lot better than the craptacular safety video that Delta ran on my flight the next day. It took several moments to realize that almost the entire plane was, for once, paying attention to the video as everyone collectively realized something wasn't quite right (And no one seemed offended).

I think Delta's video reaches maximum creepiness as you're told smoking isn't allowed on flights. Something about the grin on the flight attendant's face...
posted by combinatorial explosion at 1:22 AM on July 1, 2009


Needs more Maoris.
posted by Poagao at 1:36 AM on July 1, 2009


On my last Air New Zealand flight, from LAX to London, the woman next to me had had a really rough goodbye/fight/breakup-type-thing with her partner at the airport and was quite visibly upset. The flight attendant offering pre-meal drinks after takeoff said she'd do everything she could to make her flight more comfortable, which she did with flying colors for the whole flight - lots of runs past us with water and snacks, always asking if she wanted a cup of tea or something. After breakfast and a few minutes before landing, she offered her an entire bottle of champagne to share with "anybody she thought could take the place of that sad loser." The woman stood up, gave the flight attendant a massive bear hug, and was pretty much beaming for the rest of the flight.
posted by mdonley at 2:01 AM on July 1, 2009 [15 favorites]


You think that "sheep" is another word for sexy beautiful woman.

It isn't?!? What on earth do people think I've been talking about all this time?

We use "sheep" in much the same way as others might say something like "Hey, that so-and-so really is a fox, wouldn't you say...?"
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:23 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Kiwis are so much fun.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:41 AM on July 1, 2009


On my last Air New Zealand flight, from LAX to London, the woman next to me had had a really rough goodbye/fight/breakup-type-thing with her partner at the airport and was quite visibly upset. The flight attendant offering pre-meal drinks after takeoff said she'd do everything she could to make her flight more comfortable, which she did with flying colors for the whole flight - lots of runs past us with water and snacks, always asking if she wanted a cup of tea or something. After breakfast and a few minutes before landing, she offered her an entire bottle of champagne to share with "anybody she thought could take the place of that sad loser." The woman stood up, gave the flight attendant a massive bear hug, and was pretty much beaming for the rest of the flight.

We spent a blissful month travelling around NZ a few years back, and constantly marvelled at how nice everyone was. So nice, in fact, that I'm convinced that Kiwi kids get niceness classes in school. And when they're 16 or whatever the school leaving age is, everyone has to attend a niceness exam, and the ones who don't pass, are quietly killed.
posted by daveje at 5:04 AM on July 1, 2009 [8 favorites]


I think Delta's video reaches maximum creepiness as you're told smoking isn't allowed on flights.

You're nuts. That's an attractive woman with red hair conveying correct information about the permissibility of smoking on the airplane. It wouldn't be creepy even if the background music was Radiohead's "Creep."

ytmnd, you can have that one for free
posted by sleevener at 6:21 AM on July 1, 2009


I have to say that I appreciated a rare demonstration of equal-opportunity bodypaint.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 6:32 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I saw this ad on the Times yesterday. At first I thought the body-paint business was gimmicky, but now I think the real genius of the ad is the staff. All of the suppressed giggling really translates into shots of staff who look like they're actually having fun and glad to be there. It's a relief considering how frighteningly artificial most flight crews look.
posted by thankyoujohnnyfever at 7:53 AM on July 1, 2009


If they have nothing to hide, why are they hiding all the bits and pieces that are supposedly shockingly exposed?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:21 AM on July 1, 2009


Don't know, but it kept me from blinking.
posted by de at 8:45 AM on July 1, 2009


If they have nothing to hide, why are they hiding all the bits and pieces that are supposedly shockingly exposed?

Hairy kiwis.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:03 AM on July 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


I laughed out loud! A funny spin on necessary but repetitive information.
posted by mdoar at 10:57 AM on July 1, 2009


I'd settle for the "we're not going to crash you into the pacific ocean" marketing campaign.

Kiwis are so nice because they live on the most beautiful piece of land in the entire world.
posted by thanatogenous at 11:16 AM on July 1, 2009


Kiwis are so nice because they live on the most beautiful piece of land in the entire world.

There are other beautiful places on earth filled to the brim with assholes (take California for instance - kidding). The Kiwis are nice because before jet aircraft it took days, weeks or even months to meet people who weren't the same people you lived next door to. If you were an asshole to someone there, it was going to be a looooooong time before you were going to be around any other people.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:30 AM on July 1, 2009


"The Air New Zealand staff members did not receive extra pay, just increased exposure."

I see what you did there.
posted by namewithoutwords at 2:36 PM on July 1, 2009


Air NZ's latest slogan ("Fares with nothing to hide") is due to the arrival to NZ of budget airline Jetstar, whose success has been slightly mixed.

Their teething problems have included cancelling a flight NZ's Prime Minister was on (he ended up catching an Air NZ plane from the same airport).
posted by John Shaft at 2:59 PM on July 1, 2009


Kiwis are so nice because...

Well, why wouldn't we be nice?
It's nice to be nice.

Who wants to come visit? - I have a nice fold-out couch in nice Wellington.

Although, I have heard visitors complain that every1 Kiwi they meet asks them: "How do you like NZ? Are you having a nice time?" and constantly apologising unnecessarily " I'm sorry about the weather". So it seems, too much niceness can be wearing.


1. Population: approx 4.3 million. Nice!
posted by Catch at 9:28 PM on July 1, 2009


So it seems, too much niceness can be wearing.

As long as this wearingness continues to sublimate itself into more of the likes of the Headless Chickens or Flight of the Conchords, just keep on doing what you do.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:06 AM on July 2, 2009


too much niceness can be wearing

Sorry about that.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:33 AM on July 2, 2009


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