June 14, 2001

7:54 AM

Apple doesn't want you to think too differently.Steve Jobs and co. are desperately trying to dismiss the Church of Satan's right to parody or even using "Made on a Macintosh" on their webpages. Worth reading just for the awesome quotes from the Satanists.
posted by skallas (24 comments total)

"corporate" = "bland, MOR, don't get out of line". No matter what corporation you're talking about.
posted by jfuller at 8:13 AM on June 14, 2001

I found this quote both apt and insightful: Gilmore added spookily: "It is also amusing to us that this company uses as a corporate logo an apple with a bite taken from it, which certainly appears to be a reference to that other famous apple...."
posted by SilentSalamander at 8:21 AM on June 14, 2001

Wouldn't cozying up to Levay give Jobs the inside track on understanding the complicated mind of the real satan?
posted by machaus at 8:46 AM on June 14, 2001

Cozying up to Levay would be a pretty smelly proposition these days, considering his been dead for some time now.
posted by MrBaliHai at 8:49 AM on June 14, 2001

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

What a rule to live by. I just ask them to leave
posted by twistedonion at 8:53 AM on June 14, 2001

You have a lair?
posted by Doug at 9:10 AM on June 14, 2001

Oh yes,
it's dark, smelly, uninviting, and just reeks of evil :-)
posted by twistedonion at 9:16 AM on June 14, 2001

"Church of Satan" fears crack me up. Anton LaVey has about as much to do with Satan as Jack van Impe or Robert Tilton has to do with Jesus.
posted by jpoulos at 9:21 AM on June 14, 2001

the satanic rules beat the pants off the ten commandments. sign me up!
posted by ggggarret at 9:21 AM on June 14, 2001

No doubt. And why do they keep having to use the term "cult" to refer to the COS? I bet they don't refer to Presbyterianism as a cult.
posted by norm at 9:27 AM on June 14, 2001

Does anyone have a copy of the spoof "Think different" ad with Hitler? This search turns up a trace, but not the image itself. Apparently there was also a video (second link).
posted by andrew cooke at 9:50 AM on June 14, 2001

"Church of Satan" fears crack me up. Anton LaVey has about as much to do with Satan as Jack van Impe or Robert Tilton has to do with Jesus.

I don't think it has anything to do with xtianity either, they use Satan as a metaphor. From the CoSatan webpage:

we are the first above-ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature—that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos which is permeated and motivated by the Dark Force which we call Satan.

Also


1. When someone claims to have a direct line of communication with Satan, watch out. Selling that kind of mysticism is exactly how Christianity has kept people enslaved in ignorance for centuries. It’s one of the things we’re fighting against.

8. Beware of cults offering sex orgies and drugs, or killing animals in the name of Satan. As you well know, these are not part of Satanic practices. The leaders are copying the lame-brain spook stories from Geraldo or Oprah and obviously know less than you do. Use common sense. Don’t let someone take advantage of you for his or her own perversity; examine motives carefully.



No drugs OR orgies?! I'm suddenly less interested. They sound like any occult organization (mix hedonism with ancient mysteries) except they managed to grab a push-your-buttons name instead of something like, oh, Ordo Templi Orientis.
posted by skallas at 9:51 AM on June 14, 2001

Does Harry Potter have something to do with this?
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2001

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

What exactly would that signal be? I need to know... no really!
posted by willnot at 10:35 AM on June 14, 2001

"5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal."

So many avenues of levity, so little time.
posted by Pyth at 10:43 AM on June 14, 2001

Ack! Willnot apparently didn't get an important email in the middle of typing that post, giving him (her?) plenty of time to beat me to it.
posted by Pyth at 10:44 AM on June 14, 2001

Methinks they doth protest too much.
posted by dong_resin at 11:07 AM on June 14, 2001

I think willnot and Pyth just gave each other the mating signal.
posted by thirteen at 11:18 AM on June 14, 2001

I like this one, personally:

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.
posted by CrayDrygu at 12:24 PM on June 14, 2001

Hmmmm...why does LaVey resemble Ouchy the Clown?
posted by Sal Amander at 12:27 PM on June 14, 2001

On the dot-org side of things... "Lord Egan is pleased to announce the release of his new jazz CD entitled, Dark Passion."


And apparantly Satan has his own version of VeriSign....
posted by bison at 12:55 PM on June 14, 2001

Does Harry Potter have something to do with this?

Google says that he's the Spawn of Satan
posted by fooljay at 4:43 PM on June 14, 2001

This is all well and good, but Dogwelder has got dueling Antons. Now that's what I call fun.
posted by lizardboy at 4:57 PM on June 14, 2001

"It is also amusing to us that this company uses as a corporate logo an apple with a bite taken from it, which certainly appears to be a reference to that other famous apple...."

Yeah, the Beatle's record label, talk about flagrant trademark infringement.
posted by lagado at 5:11 PM on June 14, 2001