Pooh pooh

July 6, 2009 3:20 PM

Bicycle Snobbery- whether "mustache handlebars", silly tattoos, "mankinis" or other male cycling fashion statements, brass knuckle bicycle grips or celebrity brokeback pie-plates, NYC's Bike Snob casts judgment on all he surveys from one high gear
posted by Blazecock Pileon (43 comments total)

"crabon fibré" --the man is remorseless. I love him.
posted by everichon at 3:30 PM on July 6

To complete the handlebar clutter, he should install this on-board speaker system, forwarded by yet another reader..

Heh. There's a fine line between snobbery and SkyMall material, I think.
posted by jordanlewis at 3:35 PM on July 6

"Bicycle snobbery" is an oxymoron.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 3:43 PM on July 6

Missing an 'ALLYOUHATERSSUCKMYBALLS' tag.
posted by suckerpunch at 3:45 PM on July 6 [1 favorite has favorites]

I only do it for the hipster pussy.
posted by box at 3:48 PM on July 6

I one day hope to introduce BikerFox to Bike Snob. The resulting matter/anti-matter conflagration will shatter the Earth as if it was a carbon-fiber spoke.
posted by suckerpunch at 4:03 PM on July 6

The sooner bicycles move either back into the relatively obscure purview of shaven-legged jocks or fully into the mainstream such that discussions of attendant fashion or credibility become moot, the better. (I'm pulling for the latter, but either way is fine with me.)

This blog frustrates me and I don't even know why.
posted by pts at 4:07 PM on July 6 [3 favorites has favorites]

Hey, if walking around on a sidewalk is fair game for fashion tips, why not riding a bike.

jordonlewis: I think you missed his snobby sarcasm on that one.

Crabby Appleton: there are a large number of places here in Portland where people will look at you askance for showing up with a car rather than a bicycle.
posted by idiopath at 4:11 PM on July 6

fully into the mainstream such that discussions of attendant fashion or credibility become moot

Right, because there are no discussions around fashion and credibility with cars.
posted by rodgerd at 4:15 PM on July 6

I was disappointed that Biker Fox got off his bike when doing the front flip. I wanted to see an on-bike front flip.
posted by GuyZero at 4:17 PM on July 6

rodgerd: Good point.

All is lost.
posted by pts at 4:40 PM on July 6

It's hard to really take this guy that seriously, but it is called bicycle snobbery. I don't know. People who take what a person wears on his bike or what bike he/she rides are just annoying. Mostly in any form of life really. Just be I guess.

However, some people do have the right idea in recycled bikes. Cheap and get a good-ish bike that way. :D
posted by lizarrd at 4:43 PM on July 6

I've been reading this for a while now - he's really a pretty deft comedic writer. I'm more than a little curious to find out who he is, if it's ever revealed. I've heard murmurings lately that it's only a matter of time before the secret is out - of course, it will be a little sad, too.
posted by chinston at 4:47 PM on July 6

LOLFIXIES AMIRITE?

No, really. Am I right?
posted by jquinby at 4:47 PM on July 6

No, really. Am I right?

I think he rides a fixie, so unless he really does hate himself, I think it's more about poking gentle and not-so-gentle fun at the more stereotypical and quirky aspects of the fixie community.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:49 PM on July 6

lizzard: this is a humor column, like most other gossip / fashion columns are. People who take what you wear ANYWHERE are really annoying, but I bet I own certain clothes that would make you look at me funny if you saw me in them. Regarding recycled bikes, that is the biggest leading trend in bike fashion where I am at. Just because it makes economic and environmental sense does not mean that people are not snooty fashion snobs about it too.
posted by idiopath at 4:53 PM on July 6

* people who take what you wear SERIOUSLY anywhere *
posted by idiopath at 4:55 PM on July 6

FUCK HIPSTERS AND THEIR FIXIES SHIMANO NEXUS 4 LYFE MOTHERFUCKERS
posted by Scoo at 5:01 PM on July 6 [2 favorites has favorites]

He likes poking fun at ALL bicycle culture in NYC. I've yet to read a BSNYC post that isn't making fun of some subset of cycling culture.



That being said. I enjoy every minute of kidding myself by thinking "haha! He's not talking bout MEEE!!! hahahahahah! zalgo"
posted by Severian at 5:05 PM on July 6 [1 favorite has favorites]

Pikers.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:08 PM on July 6

I can't believe snobby has never been featured here on the blue. He teases the Williamsburg hipsters better than any other blogger I've read. Even Lance is a fan.
posted by photoslob at 5:18 PM on July 6

OK, the trek y-foil with plastic pedals and upside-down moustache bars was fucking hilarious. You pay a bunch of extra money for all the aerodynamic sleekness of a y-foil frame, and then you ride it with moustache bars, which when used upside down are little more than a pretentious overpriced riser bars? Therefore giving you a riding position guaranteeing substantially more air drag than a frame 1/4 the price? WOW. It is like seeing somebody put big balloon tires and a rollbar on a vintage mercedes in order to use it as a dune buggy. It may be kinda cool, but it is a HUGE waste of money.
posted by idiopath at 5:31 PM on July 6

In theory, he makes fun of all cycling subcultures, but he seems to have quite a bit of respect for, of all things, flatland freestyle riders. Maybe that's only in contrast to the fixed-gear freestyle folks. And, probably partially because he's in NYC, he doesn't talk much about mountain bikes and off-road riding at all. There's been the occasional mountain-bikers-are-stoners thing, but that's about the extent of it.
posted by box at 5:57 PM on July 6

Twenty-three comments in and no helmet flame war? People.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:12 PM on July 6

Will m'sieu be requiring m'sieu's cycling spats this morning? Very good, sir.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:20 PM on July 6

Spats, just like Pixie-Dixie-diddly-dum sometimes enjoy.
posted by box at 6:34 PM on July 6

men in cycling shorts DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!
posted by Afroblanco at 6:44 PM on July 6

You've probably heard it before, but, like most specialized equipment, cycling clothes work; they work really, really well. As tools or athletic equipment, I mean--I'm not talking about fashion. People have been improving and refining and perfecting cycling clothes for many years, after all--a lot of the designs, I think, are close to optimized. Although I do all my riding these days in my regular clothes, I always dig seeing somebody committed enough to rock the full gear--especially when they're fat or old or whatever.
posted by box at 7:06 PM on July 6 [3 favorites has favorites]

Whenever a new 'Snob posting shows up on my RSS feed I smile, at least a little, because he's just so damn perfect in character. (And all you haters know what you can do, right?) Anyway, my fear is that some goober is going to uncover his identity, like with FakeSteveJobs, and ruin the magic. You wouldn't unmask El Santo, so don't unmask BikeSnobNYC.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 7:22 PM on July 6

Aaaargh this is totally addictive. Dang you to heck, Blazecock!
posted by Mister_A at 7:41 PM on July 6

NYC Bike Snob hates your bike. He's there to deflate people who take their bikes and cycling too seriously, and as a retrogrouch, I'm all for it. Time for the trendoids to take it in the teeth for a change... he hates retrogrouches, too, but we're used to general abuse.

It's also well written, very funny, and he's even managed to raise the ire of Dennis Hopper. Snide and vicious bastards can be grand entertainment. Bikes are fun, but the people who wind up involved in bicycles as a lifestyle are even more fun... they're all insane. It's good to remind ourselves of this from time to time.

(Shimano? That rattletrap contraption? Suntour, with friction shifters! Indexed shifting is for people who smelled too many magic-markers as kids. My GT Touring derailleur can swallow a 32t cog without a hiccup, and I can use it to hammer my frame back into shape if I need to. Weight Weenies not running a Sachs Huret with downtube shifters are no longer are allowed to brag about how light their carbon-fiber derailleur is... it's still second place, at best, to a 30-year old piece of kit that could handle bigger cogs than your brand new "Groupo" can even be specc'd with. Furthermore, any frame not made of lugged, brazed steel is a tool of the anti-christ sent to earth to suck your soul out through your crotch with a dinky plastic saddle, and randonneurs who rely on "drop bags" need to be pummeled by angry chimps until they admit it's cheating. So, there.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:24 PM on July 6 [3 favorites has favorites]

Spats, just like Pixie-Dixie-diddly-dum sometimes enjoy.

oh for the loving of the fucking
posted by fleetmouse at 8:44 PM on July 6

Yeah, I can't tell if he really dislikes Rivendell or not, and I thought they were just about as harmlessly quirky as they get. Added to my RSS feeds, thanks!
posted by Kyol at 9:15 PM on July 6

(Shimano? That rattletrap contraption? Suntour, with friction shifters! Indexed shifting is for people who smelled too many magic-markers as kids. My GT Touring derailleur can swallow a 32t cog without a hiccup, and I can use it to hammer my frame back into shape if I need to. Weight Weenies not running a Sachs Huret with downtube shifters are no longer are allowed to brag about how light their carbon-fiber derailleur is... it's still second place, at best, to a 30-year old piece of kit that could handle bigger cogs than your brand new "Groupo" can even be specc'd with. Furthermore, any frame not made of lugged, brazed steel is a tool of the anti-christ sent to earth to suck your soul out through your crotch with a dinky plastic saddle, and randonneurs who rely on "drop bags" need to be pummeled by angry chimps until they admit it's cheating. So, there.)

I didn't understand a single word of this, but I agree.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:48 AM on July 7

My favorite bit of bikesnobbery from way back in Sept. 7, 2007.

Williamsburg, Brooklyn*. Bikes are important here. If you live in a large city chances are you have a neighborhood like it in your town. It is a place where young men and women dressed in the height of fashion walk their bicycles (also dressed in the height of fashion) up and down the sidewalks like Afghan hounds.
posted by clockwork at 4:08 AM on July 7

there are a large number of places here in Portland where people will look at you askance for showing up with a car rather than a bicycle.

&

He likes poking fun at ALL bicycle culture in NYC. I've yet to read a BSNYC post that isn't making fun of some subset of cycling culture.


"Cycling culture" ? Oh man, if you want to imagine how this stuff reads to a Dutchman, imagine reading the May 1904 newsletter of the Boston Horseless Carriage Enthusiasts Club. Fascinating stuff.
posted by atrazine at 4:09 AM on July 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

atrazine: yeah, go ahead and rub it in. You don't know how blissful my dreams are of riding on streets where car drivers thought I had a full right to be there, and my preferred method of transportation wouldn't get me stereotyped as someone convicted of drunk driving.

Don't you have more important things to do than to rub my nose in the ignorance of my backward country, like maybe smoking a bunch of decriminalized mary-jane and fooling around with a legally sanctioned lady of the night, followed by a state funded routine medical checkup?
posted by idiopath at 4:52 AM on July 7 [1 favorite has favorites]

idiopath: Sadly I'm actually in sunny Riyadh right now where my folding bicycle is a source of very great mirth for the local population.
posted by atrazine at 5:44 AM on July 7

He has referenced the band Nitro on more than one occasion. HWDWS!
posted by look busy at 7:22 AM on July 7

I thank you for this. My boss, probably, does not. (Bye, productivity!)

For example, there's an unwritten rule among New York City bike commuters, and it applies to all riders, regardless of age, fitness, or style of bicycle. This rule is as follows:

If you stop at a red light and there is already another cyclist waiting at it, you must stop your bicycle in front of the rider who is already there.

As far as I know, I am the only cyclist in New York who does not observe this rule, because while I'm quite happy to queue up behind somebody at an intersection, I have never, ever had somebody stop behind me. If you're waiting, someone will pull up ahead of you. If a third person comes, they'll roll ahead and stop in front of the second person. On a busy day, this accumulation results in sort of a shoal of cyclists which juts out into the middle of the street like a sandbar of idiocy.

I would like to point out the Chicago Corollary to this rule, which includes at least one person on a cheap mountain bike carrying a plastic shopping bag off the handlebars that just rides straight out into traffic and crosses the intersection with nary a slow down.
posted by misskaz at 8:01 AM on July 7

This totally makes me feel better about my old, sticker-covered mountain bike. Sure, I get blown past by anyone on a street bike, but at least it's ugly and unfashionable.
posted by klangklangston at 10:36 AM on July 7

Be proud, klang--you're part of the Slow Bicycle Movement.
posted by box at 10:42 AM on July 7

This book review is priceless if you are in the habit of reading bicycle magazines.
posted by idiopath at 5:37 AM on July 8 [1 favorite has favorites]