It's all an affair of my life with the heroes and villains
July 10, 2009 4:42 AM   Subscribe

When comic book heroes and villains grow old.
posted by jbickers (29 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Here's all of them without annoying scrolling: http://wiresmash.com/funny/old-super-heroes/

Also check out L'Hospice by Gilles Barbier. Which is probably where the idea came from. Maybe.
http://www.documentsdartistes.org/artistes/barbier/repro3det2.html
posted by sam and rufus at 4:50 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here's all of them without annoying cutting & pasting:
http://wiresmash.com/funny/old-super-heroes/
http://www.documentsdartistes.org/artistes/barbier/repro3det2.html

;-)
posted by i_cola at 5:03 AM on July 10, 2009


Sorry, I forgot about ye olde web linking function.
Whoops.
posted by sam and rufus at 5:07 AM on July 10, 2009


Rocket from the Sockets!

The Tick did an awesome take on this in Grandpa Wore Tights.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:12 AM on July 10, 2009


I especially like the Invisible Woman's visible "parts".

And for some reason The Vulture looks like something Gahan Wilson would do.
posted by JaredSeth at 5:17 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Vulture looked pretty much exactly like he always does.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:35 AM on July 10, 2009


Crap. I'm going to be old someday.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:37 AM on July 10, 2009


Also: Old Batman needs an army of Mutants. And to be kicking the shit out of Superman under a streetlamp.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:39 AM on July 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Clever stuff. And the post title makes it that much more awesome!
posted by Dr-Baa at 5:44 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Batman with the Mickey balloon made me laugh out loud. I can just hear him wheezing, "Go! Go!" in a Grandpa Simpson sort of way.
posted by Kimothy at 5:48 AM on July 10, 2009


I'm with JaredSeth; that Invisible Woman one is perfect.

Uh, that WireSmash page not only doesn't mention the name of the artist (I love the "an artist decided to draw them just like that!!!" bullshit) but also asks for a PayPal donation just below the bottom one. It's a tough choice, but I think I'll say no to asshole image scraping and take the stupid extra clicks from the MSM on this one, thanks.
posted by mediareport at 6:15 AM on July 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


The artist is Italian and to me these cartoons look like typical "Italian cartoons." What is it that Italian illustrators do in common?
posted by shothotbot at 6:45 AM on July 10, 2009


The too-small shorts on the Incredible Hulk cracked me up.
posted by Dragonness at 7:00 AM on July 10, 2009


Not bad. I especially enjoyed the not aged but barnacled Namor and Elektra knitting Daredevil a scarf. Gave me a chuckle, if not a full LOL. (What would you call that? a CHOL?)

When you're done with the funny version of superheroes reaching an advanced age, might I suggest checking out a whip-ass version? Robert Kirkman's Destroyer miniseries for Marvel MAX is completely rad, right down to the title character's jowls. Issue 5, the last one, is due out next month, and the inevitable TPB is sure to follow!
posted by EatTheWeak at 7:13 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Donald Soffritti imagines the later years of superheroes, with hilarious results

Um, yeah. Unless you're actually a comic book fan and have seen this sort of thing done like a zillion times already...

> WUINS
> (for Warren Elllis)

> My name is Elmer Fudd. I'm a wepowter and a photogwapher. I know too much
> in a wowld that has somehow gone wong. This is my stowy.

> I knew all awong that something was scwewy about this pwanet. It began with
> an intewview I did with a so-called Witch named Hazel. Aboawd a jet
> aiwiner, I compwimented her on her beauty. She looked wike a miwwion bucks.

> She shweiked when she saw her wefwection in the window. Then her face
> melted befowe my eyes and she became hideouswy ugwy. And she was HAPPY
> about it!

> THIS was an age of MAWVELS?

> Maybe it all went wong in the 1950s, when war hewo Bosco was executed for
> tweason and wacial discwimination. Or when, in the months that fowwowed,
> Daffy Duck tuwned state's evidence and testified against Porky and Petunia
> Pig for spying for the Wussians. An expwoding cigar bwew his head cwean off
> on his way back fwom the twial.

> The awmy successfuwwy fought off an invasion from Mars. When I visited the
> Martian Concentwation Camp, it was a sickening sight. All that was weft of
> a stwike fowce to devestate pwanets was a small, pathetic cweature. His
> swowwen wittle bwack head would no wonger fit in his battered hewmut.

> "I claim this planet in the name of Mars!" he bewwowed then, planting an
> awuminum fwag on US gwound. Instead the govewnment hit them with a hundwed
> pwutonium bombs, blowing theiw awmadda to smitheweens. "Goodness gracious,"
> wheezed the Mawtian, his wungs woaded down with cancer. "I only wanted a
> clear view of Venus!"

> Evewy day, the news was full of twagedy: a gwanny was awwested for animal
> cwuelty after she bashed her cat's skull in when she found out he'd
> swawwowed her pwize Tweety Bird. Earth's fastest living mouse, Juan
> "Speedy" Gonzalez, was awwested for dwug twafficking and executed in San
> Diego. A mad genius coyote in New Mexico who spent miwwions on exotic
> weaponwy to kill a wival woad-wunner, pewished in an explosion that took
> out an entiwe mountain wange.

> In the deep south, a tall, boistwous wooster was indicted for child
> mowestation for his rewationship with a young boy -- a "chicken hawk". He
> pwotested in vain at his twial: "I, I, I do declare, I say, it was the DAWG
> that put me up to it, the DAWG!"

> He got twenty yeaws.

> He was wucky, though, compared to Bugs.

> That weasel Bugs... poor Bugs Bunny.

> He was a hotshot, a woudmouth, a showoff. The govewnment dwafted him to be
> the guinea pig fow a tewwible expewiment: he was to ingest a wadioactive
> cawwot. It was supposed to make him super-powewful.

> I was thewe... it was a howwible sight.

> Fiwst his skin tuwned bwight wed. Then bwue. Then yewwow. Then pwaid. Then
> one of the scientists hewd up a petwie dish with Bugs' bwood samples: "Hey!
> If he dies, we can always CLONE him!" Another of the scientists hit him
> ower the head with a baseball hat eweven times. "Look, Amercrombe, we may
> be evil scientists without morals but we're not THAT low!"

> Bugs never finished his last words: "With great power" (cough) with great
> power, Doc, must also come great... " It wouldn't have mattewed. No one
> wistened to that kind of talk any more.

> No one was supposed to see it. But I did. I've seen it all... I've seen
> what should have been a wong wife full of wonder tuwned into... WUINS. Even
> now, I feew as though a bwack cwoud is hovewing over me.

> Wait a minute.

> That's not a cwoud, it's an ANVIL --

> Ah, FUDD!
posted by straight at 7:28 AM on July 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


Anybody else think of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?
posted by DaddyNewt at 7:30 AM on July 10, 2009


Are all the elderly senile, fat, and/or morons? Not nice.

I do like the one of Iron Man out golfing, however.
posted by ericbop at 7:37 AM on July 10, 2009


the ideas were cute (my fav being the invisible woman), though i'm generally not a fan of that drawing style.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 7:47 AM on July 10, 2009


Yeah, I was a little uncomfortable with the, "LOL let's laugh at the elderly!" elements of this, plus a lot of them didn't seem to have much of anything to do with the characters or their abilities. Wonder Woman + chihuahua = ???? Batman/Robin, Daredevil, and Mr. Fantastic were some of the ones I liked, though, and Namor having grown barnacles is clever.

I think Vulture should have been drawn rampaging through the city, as usual.
posted by bettafish at 8:10 AM on July 10, 2009


I think the Wonder Woman "joke" is that she's using her lasso for a dog leash. HAHAHAHA!
posted by straight at 8:15 AM on July 10, 2009


I appreciate the fact that he altered some pretty B-List (and C-List) superheroes and villains.

Also, this reminded me why I miss Mad Magazine. And why I don't.
posted by jabberjaw at 8:18 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that the artist seems to think that women, upon aging, either get fat or get plastic surgery. Hrm.
posted by FritoKAL at 8:34 AM on July 10, 2009


French artist Gilles Barbier created L'Hospice, a life-size tableau of aging comic book heroes.
(Detailed views)
posted by Kabanos at 8:36 AM on July 10, 2009


This was pretty generic and skipable.

AutoPager saved the day, preventing me from having to do more than scroll. That is the real hero here.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:23 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


The drawingS weren't bad, per se, but hilarious? What would have been funnier would have been a little knowledge of the character and history, rather than juSt jokes about costumes and LOLFATELDARLY. Why would aged Wonder Woman be smoking?
posted by mikoroshi at 9:28 AM on July 10, 2009


Um, yeah. Unless you're actually a comic book fan and have seen this sort of thing done like a zillion times already...

Ah, come on, it's nicely done and pretty funny. Not as funny as Wuins though maybe...

Sue Storm needs to get herself some hip joints made out of unstable molecules there.
posted by Artw at 9:29 AM on July 10, 2009


o dear -
is Hulk a never nude?
posted by sloe at 11:07 AM on July 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm going to second EatTheWeak's recommendation: buy Robert Kirkman's series "The Destroyer". Kirkland (The Irredeemable Ant-Man, Marvel Zombies, Walking Dead, etc) is one of the best comic book writers out there at the moment. And his latest work is moving and fantastic.
posted by Auden at 8:33 PM on July 10, 2009


Hey, Wolverine is in good shape.
posted by Ingenting at 1:01 AM on July 11, 2009


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