Comments on: THERES NO TIME

THERES NO TIME

Potomac Avenue — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:08:56 -0800

Flash Friday Funtime: Steamshovel Harry

Gives new meaning to the term "timesink." With music by MetaFilters own Brad Sucks. via

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:15:50 -0800

I played this a few days ago. It starts slow, but I was really impressed by the gameplay mechanic. Its unusual and, once you get used to it, a lot of fun.

By: JeffK

JeffK — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:18:14 -0800

Physics is gonna pull out a gun and shoot you right in the head... Brilliant.

By: DU

DU — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:19:59 -0800

I gave up after 150 pages of Wikipedia. Is there an actual game in there or is a concept thing?

By: memebake

memebake — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:20:43 -0800

Once I got the hang of the controls I found it easier, but I still couldn't get past level 4 (etc etc)

By: Lemurrhea

Lemurrhea — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:21:25 -0800

Oh god the autotune it's crushing my soul.

By: peeedro

peeedro — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:21:26 -0800

Is this a joke?

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:22:49 -0800

Forgot to link to the songs which Mr. Brad has for download from this game. I'd say they were the best parts of the game but the cut scene after clearing the Oort Cloud stage was so detailed i actually teared up a little. Harry becomes like a real character by the end, you know?

By: 256

256 — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:23:18 -0800

i'm still in the intro and i'm really in a sort of good money (er.. time) after bad situation here? I feel like I should stick it out because i've already sat through, seriously, two minutes of load screen with no progress bar followed by more than ten minutes of unskippable intro and I want to get something out of it. on the other hand, there is no indication of how much more intro i will have to sit through and I'm wondering if I should cut my losses now. on neither hand... the intro does have a pretty amusing autotune song in the background.

By: peeedro

peeedro — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:25:26 -0800

Oh, helper spider, why do you forsake me?

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:26:04 -0800

oh my god

By: six-or-six-thirty

six-or-six-thirty — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:26:19 -0800

Yeah, I'm some way through the ridiculously long 'national anthem' or whatever, and I suspect that I'm almost through the intro. But I'm not sure. And not really interested anymore. Sorry, Harry. I feel like this was a way for this guy to showcase his little songs more than anything else. But of course, I never got to the actual game.

By: 256

256 — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:26:27 -0800

oh... wait.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:27:03 -0800

Previously.

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:27:31 -0800

*applauds, breaks monitor*

By: JeffK

JeffK — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:28:12 -0800

Hmm. Intro songs were great, but I never did make to any actual gameplay.

By: six-or-six-thirty

six-or-six-thirty — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:28:15 -0800

I lied, I forgot to close the window. And then it was kind of funny.

By: malthas

malthas — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:30:24 -0800

The gameplay's great and all... but I wish the graphics were a little bit tighter, you know? It would have made the surprisingly long intro a little more tolerable. Which would have been good, because once you get past that it's really a lot of fun.

By: infinitewindow

infinitewindow — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:30:40 -0800

Don't forget the physics engine programming, courtesy of MeFi's own DigDugDag.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:40:56 -0800

This is even better than QWOP. I swear.

By: JauntyFedora

JauntyFedora — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:47:08 -0800

All I know is I got out of the intro, and the missile came down. Playtime: 5 sec, Intro: 10 min. I don't know if I can handle it again.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:53:14 -0800

You almost had it bro, it's all about hitting Ctrl. You'll get the hang of it. HINT: x₀ = ct where x1 = x and x2 = y and x3 = z as usual.

By: bjrn

bjrn — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:54:21 -0800

This made me lose lots of sanity points.

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:55:16 -0800

Physics 102? Lame. When do I get to shovel something? Ooooh asteroid hopping looks....fun. Do I get to shovel the asteroid after I hop it? "click to close browser window"

By: penduluum

penduluum — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:59:43 -0800

OH MY GOD START

By: penduluum

penduluum — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:00:53 -0800

(okay, actually that's pretty funny.)

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:05:17 -0800

THERES NO ~~TIME~~GAME

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:11:48 -0800

this right here is bullshit is what this is

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:11:50 -0800

bradsucks is the third Conchord.

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:12:57 -0800

Oh dammit I just spent fifteen minutes playing QWOP again. 5.6m!

By: schwa

schwa — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:18:10 -0800

Where's the game?

By: ubermuffin

ubermuffin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:18:16 -0800

I thought this was brilliant. Especially the giant spider king. Keep on trollin'.

By: danny the boy

danny the boy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:27:36 -0800

I only got a chance to play for 8 hours so I had to stop once I reached the Spider King's Bat Mitzvah. I really liked their unique take on relationship management (even though Bleeblegorp wouldn't stop calling my space-phone), but I wonder if there wouldn't be some better way to balance the amount of gold farming you have to do before you can start to affect the local-system markets on a macro-economic level.

By: infinitewindow

infinitewindow — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:39:27 -0800

Man, Madagascar always closes their port so quickly!

By: ubermuffin

ubermuffin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:40:01 -0800

danny the boy: Gold farming is just a red herring. The trick is to exploit the game's magnetic monopole arbitrage by buying from the spiders, then getting your shipment destroyed by space dragons, and then collecting on the insurance. You did buy space dragon insurance when it was offered to you by the shady robot dealer in level 3, right?

By: malevolent

malevolent — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:41:21 -0800

All hail the Spider King! It's been fascinating watching this game's rating gradually creep up from 0% as more and more people 'get it'. (Disclosure: I created two of the other E4 'Summer of Games' games, hence the obsessive stats-watching. I'm hoping my third will rival this for OMGWTF impact...)

By: Durhey

Durhey — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:10:16 -0800

Godammit it's ordnance not ordinance why can't game developers ever get this right you can't blow things up with rules i swear to god it was even in quake 4

By: yhbc

yhbc — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:28:11 -0800

No soap?

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:36:19 -0800

GRAVITY WAaAaAaATCH OoOoOOOOuUUuUT

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:37:53 -0800

(is there a game in here somewhere?)

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:38:45 -0800

Physics are not going to kill me. This game is going to kill me.

By: infinitewindow

infinitewindow — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:41:39 -0800

Radio.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:42:57 -0800

Is it wrong that the longer this goes and the more certain I am that this is going to end in fifteen minutes before I can start playing, the more I like it?

By: revgeorge

revgeorge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:45:23 -0800

I had trouble with the controls, they should have gone into more depth explaining them.

By: sloe

sloe — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:45:42 -0800

If there's one thing that the surprising re-emergence of the 2D jumper/platform (thanks to flash on the web) has taught us, it's that what makes a game great is not the graphics or realism, but the gameplay and story. Steamshovel Harry is a great example of this.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:46:16 -0800

This thread is like a pachinko where I always win.

By: Fleebnork

Fleebnork — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:02:36 -0800

I made it as far as Physics 103. Dear game designers: Put a SKIP button in your game tutorials.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:05:02 -0800

ha.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:12:25 -0800

Thank you, infinitewindow.

By: memebake

memebake — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:18:38 -0800

"I meant to say meteroids then, woaoaoaoah" lol

By: danny the boy

danny the boy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:22:53 -0800

I agree that some of the design decisions were a little mystifying. I mean WHY does my pet Denebolan poodle even WANT a space-latte, much less require a daily trip to Starbucks, just to perform his duties as purser? He's an arthropod! LOLS

By: DigDugDag

DigDugDag — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:25:01 -0800

Hello I am the game creator. In response to a common question, no it is not a glitch that it seems you cannot get past level 5. Open your space inventory if you don't have the right item equipped. Second common complaint addressed: Yes I know the tutorial should have been more thorough, but my belief is that players should not be hand-held through all aspects of the game. Learning to play is more fun than being taught how to play.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:27:55 -0800

oh hey, I'm glad you're here! I've been meaning to ask: was there a beta process involved for the production of this? I ask because I noticed a lot of other players wandering around with gear that doesn't seem to be available anymore, and I thought maybe they were holdovers from a private beta.

By: DigDugDag

DigDugDag — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:32:31 -0800

No. Simple answer: there are unlocks available if you beat Space Dragon final boss with only the Man Handy equipped. Yes, it is possible.

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:33:11 -0800

DigDugDag, I am a fan of your early work

By: Hactar

Hactar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:35:06 -0800

What no one here has mentioned, something that I really liked was the helper spider in the beginning. The tutorial with the spider in level one really helped me get the advanced techniques for rock throwing down.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:36:38 -0800

Can anyone help me? I'm stuck on the physics introduction and I don't feel confident enough to click next.

By: PontifexPrimus

PontifexPrimus — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:41:06 -0800

Skip. Skip. Skip. skipskipskipskipskip S K I P goddammit S K I P S K I P S K I P Nope, sorry. I can't in good conscience play this game. It might be interesting, and then I'd be forced to play it again, which in turn would mean suffering through half an eternity of non-skippable instructions. Which would lead to my brain dribbling out of my left ear.

By: a robot made out of meat

a robot made out of meat — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:45:55 -0800

Thanks for the props to giant cave spiders. Most games underpower them.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:48:44 -0800

Wow sweet, creator chat. I have several questions as you might imagine. But the primary one is which alignment do I choose once i hit second level??? I mean, it seems obvious that Harry himself is "good" in that he's trying to help his society, but it quickly becomes clear that the other side is more conventionally what we might call "moral" or "justice-oriented" or "not-parasitic-psychic-8tentacled-corporate-fungi". Given that NED is similar to Big Brother, and that XPs increase dramatically depending on your alignment to the Insidiousness VS Innocence matrix, shouldn't I pick "Lawful Swiss" at the very least, if not outright "Realist" despite the loss of Cleric Tech and E-meter Map reading abilities? Second question: I know the way to beat the Screaming Gnats is with the Doppler Effect, but I cant make the Rave Whistle hit hi-C and do em all at one go...bug or feature? I'll take my answer off the air, I think the mescaline just kicked in.

By: aheckler

aheckler — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:52:37 -0800

what

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:53:20 -0800

When do they get to the fireworks factory?! *sobs*

By: rlk

rlk — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:54:12 -0800

Most games can be enjoyed by N people, where N is everybody. This game can only be enjoyed by N-1 people. The Nth person to play it won't have an opportunity to enjoy it in the same way.

By: danny the boy

danny the boy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:59:15 -0800

S K I P goddammit S K I P S K I P S K I P Woah, slow down there little Billy. You're not going to have any hope of punching that missile square in the face IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW BASIC PHYSICS!

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:02:51 -0800

I can't in good conscience play this game. Well, to be fair, it wouldn't really matter if you chose a different alignment.

By: aheckler

aheckler — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:08:02 -0800

The key to Level 3, especially the Mines, is evading Golgamurth's laser eye without opening Mehrle's airlock. Use of your starting currency is essential, as killing enemies yourself will soon destabilize the asteroids, but not killing them will result in Mehrle obtaining the Jetpack's power supply. Standard guns are best for this task, as the healing station can be used to keep your guards alive while they do the fighting and meta-control readjustments. Two more advantages of the guns are the large amount of bullets they start with, and their starting armor that can increase their maximum health without levelling up. If you try this strat, let me know so I combine it with the now-famous "protection racket" attempts in Level 2. This might allow one to start fighting Zoltan with as much as 3476 extra HP.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:18:54 -0800

honestly, you min-maxers are what ruins this game for everybody else.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:25:43 -0800

I think there's a bug-- once I made it into the Antechamber I got stuck behind the 3rd wall from the left and then suddenly appeared way back in the Laser Dungeon (or whatever it was called). I couldn't move at all and finally one of the potatoes killed me.

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:43:34 -0800

all y'all think 5-card Mao is like the smartest thing ever too don'cha

By: danny the boy

danny the boy — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:59:20 -0800

Well for me I think it's more about the desire to put on a skullcap with a bundle of wires attaching it to a giant blinky-light computer in the wall and have it suck out of my brain THE MOST AWESOME GAME EVER. "And then! Your dude would be like escaping on a surfboard with all these guys chasing him in helicopters shooting laser beams and he'd have to PUNCH THE HELICOPTERS OUT OF THE SKY!!"

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:04:17 -0800

ah, so you're responsible for Prototype, then.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:05:55 -0800

Fuck, I just lost the game.

By: DigDugDag

DigDugDag — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:09:48 -0800

Hi Potomac Avenue, thanks for calling in. Let me just say that the Helm of Opposite Alignment can be very useful, but remember using it comes with certain dangers.

By: uni verse

uni verse — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:13:34 -0800

I made it as far as Physics 103. Dear game designers: Put a SKIP button in your game tutorials. Your doing it wrong.

By: Durn Bronzefist

Durn Bronzefist — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:13:39 -0800

Alternate ending! Sweet!

By: askdeszign

askdeszign — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:09:28 -0800

Tpain for president...auto tune rocks dude

By: Lukenlogs

Lukenlogs — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:01:28 -0800

Is this just a resume for a game music composer or is there a real game eventually? Someone give him a job so we can just play the damn game!

By: frenetic

frenetic — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:04:57 -0800

I agree, someone give me a job.

By: xorry

xorry — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:08:16 -0800

I cracked up when I realized that the intermission music between levels 9 and 10 were a homage to Bambi vs Godzilla.

By: xorry

xorry — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:09:09 -0800

Err.. `were` should have been `was`.

By: Reverend John

Reverend John — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:03:24 -0800

You know that joke about how do you keep a moron occupied? Yeah, put me in a round room and tell me there's a penny in the corner. You remember the 'three shells' in 'Demolition Man'? Yeah, I still want to know how they're supposed to work. I know, I know, I know. I know the shells are a joke. What I'm saying here is I hate you all, especially you, DigDugDag and BradSucks.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 23:08:59 -0800

"Hello I am the game creator. " Is it possible to mute the sound?

By: FfejL

FfejL — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 07:38:50 -0800

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. Anyone for a nice game of chess?

By: MythMaker

MythMaker — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 10:10:16 -0800

Who has an unskippable, unplayable intro that long? Boo. I refuse to play the game just on general principal. Let me figure it out and die a few times first. Ridiculous.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 11:14:47 -0800

i dunno man, i hear you, but...i have to say, if it wasn't for the intro being as long and in-depth and chock full of useful content as it was, i really wouldn't have enjoyed the rest of the game as much. and i enjoyed the rest of it. a lot. i finally just beat the last enemy, Sarcasmotron-- A+ ending sequence, well worth all the time i put into it. Thanks DDD and brad!

By: sebas

sebas — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 05:31:35 -0800

I'm at the national anthem now, probably should twitter my progress.

By: cj_

cj_ — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 09:34:19 -0800

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 21:11:23 -0800

Dear God how long does this game go on for. I clicked the link yesterday for fuck's sake.

By: nonspecialist

nonspecialist — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:20:32 -0800

I'm enjoying the bizarreness of reading the comments about the game while in complete ignorance of it. I have no idea if the game itself will match up to the weirdness that I have in my head right now.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:55:58 -0800

I gave up after the intro started delving into astronomy. No idea what the actual game is like, because after that mind-numbing intro/tutorial and godawful music, I just. don't. care.

By: Potomac Avenue

Potomac Avenue — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:50:27 -0800

Temporarily beat the high score. Screenshot.

By: team lowkey

team lowkey — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:14:16 -0800

Yeah, I couldn't get past Physics 103 either. I'm just not very good at this type of game.

By: garlic

garlic — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 20:08:45 -0800

my secondary weapon is an angry munchkin. And that's for rizzle.