Metafilter Mascot in the news again

July 12, 2009 6:39 PM

"Lilly, what did you see on the beach?" John Feher asked his little daughter. “Squid, squid, squid, squid, squid.” she replied.“Why are they here? Why are the squid here? I can’t honestly tell you,” Sgt. Rains said. “I don’t [know] if it’s tied or not to the earthquake.” Giant squid wash ashore in La Jolla.
posted by jokeefe (47 comments total)

Warning: sad video of squid flapping helplessly on the beach.
posted by jokeefe at 6:39 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

The beaching of squid, including Humboldt squid, is a fairly common occurance on Southern California's beaches. It's happens every few years and may be related to off shore El Niño conditions. It's an unusual sight, but not really rare, to see hundreds of dead and dying squid on the beach on certain occasions.
posted by X4ster at 6:50 PM on July 12

Aw, poor squid!
posted by limeonaire at 7:06 PM on July 12

Mascot? Where's the bunny?
posted by Pronoiac at 7:09 PM on July 12

You guys, the comment thread on this is gold. E.g.:

JESUS IS LIFE Today at 10:32
Well YOU DEMONcRATS are to BLAME for this HELL that has been UNLEASE BY ALMIGHTY JESUS CHRIST GOD IN THE HIGHEST SAVIOR OF ALL THAT IS MIGHTY JESUS. you ELECTed a MUSLIN to lead the FREE WORLD! and now yoU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!! A PLAGUE OF SEE MONSTERS on the BEACHES and the eath SHAKING behind your FEAT. IS there ANY question that bECAUSE of the election of OBAMA (he is a MULSLIN I ASSURE YOU MY PASTOR TOLD ME THIS HE IS NOT A LIAR BECAUSE BE BELEIVES IN JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY IN THE HIGHEST JESUS SAVIOR OF ALL THAT HIS HOLY( and becaus eof the ABORTIONS that the DEMONcRATS are forcing down the THROATS OF INNOCENT CHILDREN that there is this HELL IN CALIFORNIA THE MOST LIBRAL STATE EVER? REPENT NOW AND ELECT A TRUE CHRISTIAN NEXT TIME OR FACE THE RATH OF JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY SAVIOR OF ALL THAT IS GOOD

posted by signalnine at 7:16 PM on July 12 [21 favorites]

Metafilter: Face the rath
posted by dhruva at 7:23 PM on July 12 [4 favorites]

Oh no, not THE RATH!
posted by metagnathous at 7:24 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Even though large squid are freaky as hell, I can't help but feel sorry for the things flopping around so ineffectually on shore. Good on the beachgoers who tried to get them back out to sea.

Also, lolxtians.
posted by StrangeTikiGod at 7:40 PM on July 12

I had a really bad rath once, it started on my hands and spread all the way up to my elbows. It cleared up with some hydrocortisone and speech therapy though.

but about the squid... have there been any kraken sightings yet? Maybe the Humbolts were fleeing some serious deep sea rath.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:44 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Humboldt are giant squid, but they are not giant squid. Giant squid are colossal, but they are not colossal squid. Colossal squid are friggin' ginormous.
posted by steef at 8:01 PM on July 12 [10 favorites]

Metafilter: squid, squid, squid, squid, squid.
posted by scalefree at 8:01 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Aw, they're not giant squid, just squid that are giant. I was hoping for some good old fashioned krackens. What do I need to do to invoke the kind of rath that can summon a truly giant squid?

/already voted for DEMOcRATIC politicians last election, and I'm not comfortable forcing abortions down the throats of innocent schoolchildren.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:06 PM on July 12

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.

"And the squid are there for when you elected the black guy president."
posted by tastydonuts at 8:12 PM on July 12 [36 favorites]

you ELECTed a MUSLIN

Fake.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:12 PM on July 12 [5 favorites]

The rath of see creatures has come to roost in San Diego County.
posted by blucevalo at 8:15 PM on July 12

It never ceases to amaze me just how swarmed these random news posts become with wingnuts.

Fuckin' librul squids!
posted by billypilgrim at 8:17 PM on July 12

Poor squid - the squid vs seagull fight is more depressing than epic. Getting eaten alive is no fun even when you lack a complex centralized nerve structure.
posted by GuyZero at 8:22 PM on July 12

So what is the DEMONcRAT position on tartar sauce?
posted by briank at 8:27 PM on July 12

Oh no, not THE RATH!

JUST YOU WATE SINNER THE RATH IS JUST THE BIGINNING THERE WILL BE FOURTY DAYS OF RATH AND THEN YOU WILL SEE

THE MOME
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:29 PM on July 12 [6 favorites]

“Squid, squid, squid, squid, squid.”

Sea sponge sea sponge!
posted by dirigibleman at 8:30 PM on July 12 [3 favorites]

DEAR SIR, I REgRET TO INFORM YOU THAT I eLECTED NO MUSLIN, AS I WORsHIP SATIN INSTEAD.

YOUrS, LIZ.
posted by elizardbits at 8:32 PM on July 12 [17 favorites]

Humbolt squid? You mean the agressive ones that have been known to attack divers off of California? On the beach? Christ, you know what this is? It's the first attack! Sure, it was horribly ineffective, but back at the squid headquarters, you know there's a conversation much like this happening:

Johnson: Sir, it would seem that our troops are unable to survive outside of the water.

Commander: Well, then, what can we do about this? Genetics, get working on those modifications! I want results! Weapons and equipment, how soon will we have those suits? Intelligence, make sure they believe it's just some kind of fluke, keep them from realizing our plans for invasion!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:36 PM on July 12 [3 favorites]

ROU_Xenophobe, shouldn't you be outgrabing at this point? Since you're a Mome-rathing, at all, I just thought it logical.

Also, yes, Humboldt squid = v. big but != giant. Giant would be Architeuthis dux. Trust me, I did a report on them in biology class my freshman year. Of high school. Shortly after Peter Benchley wrote "Beast"...

Don't judge me!
posted by StrangeTikiGod at 8:36 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

...for the last six years, California has had a squid problem. “Invasions have been documented throughout the past century,” John Field, a researcher for the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, wrote in a recent paper, but “the spatial and temporal extent of the ongoing [squid] invasions appear to be unprecedented in the historical record.”
posted by salvia at 8:47 PM on July 12

you ELECTed a MUSLIN

That's some nice trollin there.
If I was on that beach it would be calamari time.
posted by Iron Rat at 8:49 PM on July 12

Giant would be Architeuthis dux. Trust me, I did a report on them in biology class my freshman year. Of high school. Shortly after Peter Benchley wrote "Beast"

I ain't judging. I think that book did a lot for high school giant squid obsessions. I was seriously pissed off by the godawful TV movie adaptation. "We can't afford the Bahamas. Let's shoot it in New England instead."
posted by brundlefly at 8:53 PM on July 12

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
posted by EarBucket at 9:21 PM on July 12

If only they were giant octopuses, we could get some megasharks to fight them.
posted by qvantamon at 9:30 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]

Just gimme a big knife, lemon, flour, and a pot of hot fat and leave me til I blow up.
posted by crataegus at 10:00 PM on July 12

We need sharks with laser beams attached to their heads to combat this squid menace.
posted by Blue387 at 10:22 PM on July 12

shouldn't you be outgrabing at this point?

I usually outgrabe in the morning after a nice hot coffee.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:37 PM on July 12 [2 favorites]

What do I need to do to invoke the kind of rath that can summon a truly giant squid?

One of these.
posted by DLWM at 12:00 AM on July 13

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.
We missed it. And I've always wanted to see this.
*sigh*
Maybe next time.
There needs to be some kind of Squid Alert site that I can join up with to have email me when this sort of thing happens.
posted by batgrlHG at 2:59 AM on July 13

I usually outgrabe in the morning after a nice hot coffee.

While watching the mome raths presumably.
posted by litleozy at 4:39 AM on July 13

Ever think Jesus gets annoyed by these wingnuts using his good name and dragging it through the dirt? Also:

Just gimme a big knife, lemon, flour, and a pot of hot fat and leave me til I blow up.
posted by crataegus at 10:00 PM on July 12 [+] [!]

I'll bring the cocktail sauce!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:49 AM on July 13

A PLAGUE OF SEE MONSTERS on the BEACHES and the eath SHAKING behind your FEAT.

WhySquidMatter
posted by ActingTheGoat at 6:12 AM on July 13

*grabs box of tempura batter mix*
posted by Ron Thanagar at 6:25 AM on July 13

Dios mio, guys, get your bean plates on. That comment is boxxxy level trollin'. Either some teenager with a script or just a copy paste thing.

Also, +calamari plz.
posted by cavalier at 6:29 AM on July 13

"Hideous Man-Beast Washes Up On Shore of Municipal Pool".
posted by steef at 7:22 AM on July 13

A few years ago there was a mass beaching of by-the-wind sailors, small jellyfish with a blue "sail", on Ocean Beach here in San Francisco. That was pretty freaky, especially as they started drying out and turning into mysterious blobs of goo that looked like, well, nothing identifiable. I feel a bit sorry for the squid, but at least they're edible. Even the seagulls wouldn't touch the jellyfish. I ate jellyfish once, in a Thai restaurant. It was nasty. I don't blame the seagulls. Go for the calamari, is my advice.
posted by Quietgal at 7:25 AM on July 13

The caption attached to the video:

"First residents were jolted out of bed by an earthquake, which is not uncommon in San Diego, but what happened just minutes later was a little fishy"

I THINK YOU MEAN "A LITTLE CEPHALOPODY" ALSO, PLEASE DIE IN A FIRE.
posted by quin at 8:48 AM on July 13

Man! Them is some slithy toves!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:48 AM on July 13

Jolted out of bed by a 4.0 quake? Uh, no. I live in La Jolla, and I was awake and eating breakfast at the time of the quake, and I barely noticed it. I'm sure most Californians would sleep right through such a tiny quake. These squid must be tourists.

“I have never seen squid in the 42 years that I’ve lived here on the shores in La Jolla,” she said.

Anyone who scuba dives down here sees squid every year. Night diving after the squid lay their eggs is especially awesome. It's almost like being in the movie Alien when they're exploring the crashed alien vessel (but better, since you don't have to worry about your chest bursting open the next day).
posted by Thoughtcrime at 11:17 AM on July 13 [1 favorite]

you don't have to worry about your chest bursting open the next day

heheheh how quickly they forgets
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:05 PM on July 13

(but better, since you don't have to worry about your chest bursting open the next day).

Of coooooouuuuurrse you don't.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:25 PM on July 13

Damn that non-euclidean preview button.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:26 PM on July 13

“Squid, squid, squid, squid, squid.”

Sea sponge sea sponge!

SEA SNAAAAAKE! SEA SNAAAAAAKE! OOooooooOOOOOH A SEA SNAKE!
posted by katillathehun at 4:43 PM on July 13 [2 favorites]