We are all sinners.
July 17, 2009 4:49 PM Subscribe
That dog with the stuffed animal - that's more like a dog-plushie, right? So, it's more like fetishes in the animal kingdom.
posted by jabberjaw at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by jabberjaw at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2009
How catholic of you "We are all sinners." I think we are all winners, btw.
posted by tiaka at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by tiaka at 4:58 PM on July 17, 2009
Oh, Slate.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 4:59 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by The Devil Tesla at 4:59 PM on July 17, 2009
A cat rubbing its pussy, eh... wait, what?
posted by Askiba at 5:02 PM on July 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by Askiba at 5:02 PM on July 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
Props to Slate for using the Photoshop pixellation filter, btw.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:09 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:09 PM on July 17, 2009
The cockatiel doesn't exactly give new meaning to "ring my bell," but it's the first thing that popped to mind. My cat used to hump a stuffed animal. It became *his* after that. Seriously, if we think we're the only animals to masturbate, we're getting arrogant again.
posted by neewom at 5:13 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by neewom at 5:13 PM on July 17, 2009
I saw a monkey/ape (I don't remember exactly what) masturbate at the zoo once. I was there with my husband, and this was before we had a child. So it was funny. He came right up to the bars and faced the viewing area, as if to demonstrate for us how it was done. He really cleared out the area.
posted by jeoc at 5:14 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by jeoc at 5:14 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
Hold me Jesus.
posted by futureisunwritten at 5:14 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by futureisunwritten at 5:14 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
I never, ever, in my life thought I would be able to have a good enough reason to post a link to this video on Metfilter.
posted by Xoebe at 5:15 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by Xoebe at 5:15 PM on July 17, 2009
Alright. I am extremely envious of the auto-fellating walrus.
posted by gman at 5:16 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by gman at 5:16 PM on July 17, 2009
Seriously, if we think we're the only animals to masturbate, we're getting arrogant humped by the family puggle again.
posted by katillathehun at 5:21 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by katillathehun at 5:21 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Fap-fap-fap.
posted by Balisong at 5:23 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Balisong at 5:23 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
this was before we had a child. So it was funny.
If you can't laugh at a masturbating primate at the zoo once you have kids, then I'm glad Mrs Agogo and I decided not to have children. That's pretty much the main draw of Baboon Island at Brookfield Zoo. That, and of course the occasional throwing of dung.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 5:24 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
If you can't laugh at a masturbating primate at the zoo once you have kids, then I'm glad Mrs Agogo and I decided not to have children. That's pretty much the main draw of Baboon Island at Brookfield Zoo. That, and of course the occasional throwing of dung.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 5:24 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Since ROU_Xenophobe hasn't caught this one yet, way to represent UB! Too bad our marketing types won't see this as front page opportunity.
posted by jdfan at 5:29 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by jdfan at 5:29 PM on July 17, 2009
Does everyone else have a beautiful Meg Ryan photo/ad in the middle of the Slate article? Because, well .... um .... I'll be right back.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:35 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by R. Mutt at 5:35 PM on July 17, 2009
This is nothing. The only way I can get turned on is to choke an actual chicken.
posted by hifiparasol at 5:37 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by hifiparasol at 5:37 PM on July 17, 2009 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: it distracts me from the more important work of finding food and evading predators, let alone mating.
posted by Dumsnill at 5:39 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by Dumsnill at 5:39 PM on July 17, 2009
...and that's the way it is.
posted by hifiparasol at 5:41 PM on July 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by hifiparasol at 5:41 PM on July 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
Oh, shit, of all the goddamn tabs to mix up...
posted by hifiparasol at 5:41 PM on July 17, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by hifiparasol at 5:41 PM on July 17, 2009 [11 favorites]
According to the literature on horses, a masturbating stallion sometimes takes on "a trance-like, glazed-eye appearance." What could be more inviting to a hungry bear?
what alternate universe is this in which bears hunt horses?
posted by pyramid termite at 5:46 PM on July 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
what alternate universe is this in which bears hunt horses?
posted by pyramid termite at 5:46 PM on July 17, 2009 [6 favorites]
Oh, shit, of all the goddamn tabs to mix up...
At least you didn't post your chicken comment in the Cronkite thread.
posted by gman at 5:48 PM on July 17, 2009
At least you didn't post your chicken comment in the Cronkite thread.
posted by gman at 5:48 PM on July 17, 2009
At least you didn't post your chicken comment in the Cronkite thread.
Another great euphemism for masturbation.
posted by hifiparasol at 5:50 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Another great euphemism for masturbation.
posted by hifiparasol at 5:50 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
...and that's the way it is.
well, at least you didn't do a dan rather and say "and that's a piece of our world tonight"
posted by pyramid termite at 5:53 PM on July 17, 2009
well, at least you didn't do a dan rather and say "and that's a piece of our world tonight"
posted by pyramid termite at 5:53 PM on July 17, 2009
oh, holy crap, walter cronkite's gone? - now i'm spooked
posted by pyramid termite at 5:56 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by pyramid termite at 5:56 PM on July 17, 2009
He's shamelessly masturbating on the moon. I wouldn't worry too much.
posted by Dumsnill at 6:06 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by Dumsnill at 6:06 PM on July 17, 2009
@Xoebe
pre-intarweb - my spayed female Boston loved a plush Chapel Hill basketball for a few years - and old ladies legs (Q:"Oh my! What is she doing?!?!?" A: "You know - getting sexy with your leg." [grounded])
posted by hooptycritter at 6:11 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
pre-intarweb - my spayed female Boston loved a plush Chapel Hill basketball for a few years - and old ladies legs (Q:"Oh my! What is she doing?!?!?" A: "You know - getting sexy with your leg." [grounded])
posted by hooptycritter at 6:11 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
I am afraid to click some of the links in this article.
posted by cmgonzalez at 6:14 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by cmgonzalez at 6:14 PM on July 17, 2009
Alright. I am extremely envious of the auto-fellating walrus.
That's not very nice. Sure some of the 70s stuff was a bit iffy but "Let it be" is a great song.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:31 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
That's not very nice. Sure some of the 70s stuff was a bit iffy but "Let it be" is a great song.
posted by drjimmy11 at 6:31 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
My cat masturbates, but instead of using his paw, he just licks...his red rocket...ugh.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:54 PM on July 17, 2009
posted by MaryDellamorte at 6:54 PM on July 17, 2009
Ceiling cat is masturbating to you masturbating.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:12 PM on July 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:12 PM on July 17, 2009 [3 favorites]
My sister-in-law had a dog, a rather small one, that masturbated about 4 or 5 times a day. He had a special pillow that he'd mount. The funniest part of it was that if you stood there and watched, he'd get all pissed off and start growling at you. When you turned around he'd start again. He lived to the ripe old age of 19.
posted by e40 at 8:45 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by e40 at 8:45 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Mrs. Slocum asks, "Have you seen my pussy's pussy?"
posted by jonp72 at 9:00 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by jonp72 at 9:00 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
He lived to the ripe old age of 19.
So does that translate into humans? I say yes. Finally, an excuse to masturbate every day (with pillows, apparently, and growling)
posted by neewom at 9:04 PM on July 17, 2009
So does that translate into humans? I say yes. Finally, an excuse to masturbate every day (with pillows, apparently, and growling)
posted by neewom at 9:04 PM on July 17, 2009
Sure some of the 70s stuff was a bit iffy but "Let it be" is a great song.
Goo goo (ga choo).
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:10 PM on July 17, 2009
Goo goo (ga choo).
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:10 PM on July 17, 2009
My wife's brother came out from Taiwan and stayed with us for while- part of the study was a requirement that he maintain a dairy.
One evening we were sitting in the TV room enjoying the evening when our (then puppy) golden retriever "Potato" started mating with my brother-in-law's leg. We all had were chuckling away when the dog came, and issued all over my brother in law.
A few days later I was reading his diary, and the entry for that day was....
"I was watching TV with my sister and her husband when potato had sex with my knee, and came all over my pants"
posted by mattoxic at 9:37 PM on July 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
One evening we were sitting in the TV room enjoying the evening when our (then puppy) golden retriever "Potato" started mating with my brother-in-law's leg. We all had were chuckling away when the dog came, and issued all over my brother in law.
A few days later I was reading his diary, and the entry for that day was....
"I was watching TV with my sister and her husband when potato had sex with my knee, and came all over my pants"
posted by mattoxic at 9:37 PM on July 17, 2009 [4 favorites]
I was embarrassed that I was watching these videos, so I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure no one would sneak up behind me. Then I realized that I was all alone. And since the lights were dim anyways...
SO! How's everyone's Friday night going?
posted by sambosambo at 10:01 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
SO! How's everyone's Friday night going?
posted by sambosambo at 10:01 PM on July 17, 2009 [1 favorite]
Then I realized that I was all alone.
My roommate walked in in the middle of the turtle one, and walked back outside without a word. Paranoia can save you this embarrassment.
posted by neewom at 10:37 PM on July 17, 2009
My roommate walked in in the middle of the turtle one, and walked back outside without a word. Paranoia can save you this embarrassment.
posted by neewom at 10:37 PM on July 17, 2009
According to the literature on horses, a masturbating stallion sometimes takes on "a trance-like, glazed-eye appearance."
Holy shit -- so does my dog! No kidding around. You can call his name and he'll sort of look in your general direction, but can't seem to make sense of a damn thing till he (awkwardly) walks the stupor off.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:51 PM on July 17, 2009
Holy shit -- so does my dog! No kidding around. You can call his name and he'll sort of look in your general direction, but can't seem to make sense of a damn thing till he (awkwardly) walks the stupor off.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:51 PM on July 17, 2009
My wife's brother came out from Taiwan and stayed with us for while- part of the study was a requirement that he maintain a dairy.
So, I guess he, uh, really had to "milk" it, eh?
posted by sharpener at 12:24 AM on July 18, 2009
So, I guess he, uh, really had to "milk" it, eh?
posted by sharpener at 12:24 AM on July 18, 2009
So the cats killed themselves?
posted by Michael Leung at 5:20 AM on July 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Michael Leung at 5:20 AM on July 18, 2009 [1 favorite]
Just remember this the next time you kiss your pet on the mouth.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 7:38 AM on July 18, 2009
posted by Ron Thanagar at 7:38 AM on July 18, 2009
For a moment I was worried that this post was going to be about my recent arrest at the zoo.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:27 AM on July 18, 2009
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:27 AM on July 18, 2009
If only I'd seen this post before going to last night's meetup .... we would have had something to talk about.
posted by lukemeister at 8:45 AM on July 18, 2009
posted by lukemeister at 8:45 AM on July 18, 2009
http://www.yankodesign.com/2007/04/19/hotdoll-love-doll-for-dogs-by-clement-eloy/
posted by lemuel at 11:05 AM on July 18, 2009
posted by lemuel at 11:05 AM on July 18, 2009
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posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:54 PM on July 17, 2009 [4 favorites]