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July 20, 2009 4:57 PM   Subscribe

The research, literary, and copy editors of Vanity Fair go to town on Sarah Palin's resignation speech.
seeing as nearly everyone I talked to at the 10th meetup was an editor of some kind, you'll all get a kick out of this
posted by Jon_Evil (79 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
They marked the phrase "look north to the future" as an error, when it is clearly a legitimate quotation of Alaska's state motto.

Overall, it was kind of embarrassing to look at that big a mess of corrections, even if some were a bit overzealous and overselling the point.
posted by idiopath at 5:04 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Do editors really still work in pen and paper?
posted by smackfu at 5:08 PM on July 20, 2009


And I thank you all for coming here today on the shores of Lake Lucille.

If she added one of her winks after this statement, well, I'd say leave it as-is.
posted by Brak at 5:08 PM on July 20, 2009 [9 favorites]


Let me be the first to note that to the Palinistas, factual accuracy, literacy and general sanity are Un-American. BTW, I did wonder when the Freeper dude advocated overthrowing everything last weekend, whether that was related to Sarah's REAL reason for quitting her government job...
posted by wendell at 5:09 PM on July 20, 2009


BTW, I did wonder when the Freeper dude advocated overthrowing everything last weekend, whether that was related to Sarah's REAL reason for quitting her government job...

Hmmm. An armed revolution to install Santa Sarah as Queen for Life?

Well, its possible. The Freepers are, after all, much better armed than the average socialist.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:11 PM on July 20, 2009


They marked the phrase "look north to the future" as an error

They didn't mark it as an error. They edited it to be more eloquent. And she didn't use it as a quote, even though those words are the same as what could have been used as a quote.
posted by The World Famous at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2009


My god, she doesn't even know the history of the Alaska Purchase? Jebus, what a dolt.
posted by mattoxic at 5:15 PM on July 20, 2009


Do editors really still work in pen and paper?

Generally: No, when you are correcting grammar and punctuation and the like. Yes, when multiple people are editing. Yes, when you just want to make comments. And oh hell yes, when the writing deserves a gory red bloodbath.
posted by zennie at 5:17 PM on July 20, 2009 [14 favorites]


Not to defend Palin or anything, but editing a transcript of some spoken remarks as if it were written prose is a pretty odd thing to do.
posted by matthewr at 5:17 PM on July 20, 2009


I was reading that as "the research, literary, and copy editors of Vanity Fair go to down on Sarah Palin's"
...she didn't know Seward was Johnson's Secretary of State when he bought Alaska? You can, like, goodle that, can't you? On the internets?
posted by Smedleyman at 5:19 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Not to defend Palin or anything, but editing a transcript of some spoken remarks as if it were written prose is a pretty odd thing to do.

Are they working from the transcript of the prepared speech? I remember after her speech that someone released her actual pre-written copy and it turned out to be just as garbled as her on-camera statements.
posted by yoink at 5:22 PM on July 20, 2009


Fav. quote so far that they fixed:

"Thank you all for coming here today on the shores of Lake Lucille."

Didn't realize that Ms. Palin was that spicy!
posted by TrishaLynn at 5:23 PM on July 20, 2009 [3 favorites]


"Seward however, secured Alaska realizing that Alaska could help secure the United States."
Clumsy.
posted by tellurian at 5:23 PM on July 20, 2009


If you were curious, here is the real released version.
posted by smackfu at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2009


Not to defend Palin or anything, but editing a transcript of some spoken remarks as if it were written prose is a pretty odd thing to do.

I don't see why she couldn't have written it out exactly that way. She doesn't strike me as someone who could string together a coherent sentence no matter how much time she had.
posted by empath at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


What good would a Palin resignation speech be if it wasn't written in Palinese?
posted by grounded at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2009


They should now edit the entire September Issue so that every word of it is in Palinese, including the ads.
posted by The World Famous at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


You know, years ago, there was a user here wno had a catch phrase, which I think is appropriate to this post:

shutup shutup shutup.

Oh, and Palin is the new Coulter.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2009


Do editors really still work in pen and paper?

I often (though not always) do a first pass at editing on paper, and I proofread all galleys on paper.
posted by scody at 5:31 PM on July 20, 2009


Right now, as we speak, is Palin tweeting a sort of help-wanted ad for a veteran to file an anti-ethics complaint lawsuit for her? Weirdness.

http://twitter.com/akgovsarahpalin
posted by digaman at 5:32 PM on July 20, 2009


Do editors really still work in pen and paper?

I do, mostly. I read differently when the copy is printed out than when it's on a screen. But it's how I learned, and when I learned, so it feels most natural to me. It depends a lot on who's going to be reading and entering the changes (or accepting the changes, if that is the case).
posted by rtha at 5:35 PM on July 20, 2009


I'd like to see what the final copy would like after the edits (i.e. I'd like to read the new version they're suggesting, without having to look at the editing marks). Does it explain why she quit?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:35 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


The obvious benefit of Palin's resignation speech being written by her, in her own (*cough*) inimitable style, is that we, the listener, knew for sure it was a decision she was taking on her own. A decision, crazy as it may be, because who the hell quits being governor because a few people who don't even reside in her state dislike her?, but, nonetheless, a decision undertaken completely independently from party pressures and overt scandals (that is, scandals overt enough to unseat a Republican, which admittedly have to be pretty fucking big)?

If her speech was written in clear, parse-able modern American English, with whole sentences and a paucity of "that"'s and "there"'s and nouns turned into verbs that may in one context be acceptable as a verb form, but not the way Sarah Palin uses them, we would immediately known she was being shown her destiny by Republican party powers-that-be, the invisible hands behind the thrones.

And you really have to wonder which is scarier: Sarah Palin acting on her own, or Sarah Palin - as - puppet.
posted by contessa at 5:36 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]




My wife often does. She, and other editors she's worked with, generally want to see how things look on papre, and reckon it's too easy to miss things on screen.

posted by rodgerd at 5:38 PM on July 20, 2009


Palin is the new Coulter.

Slaying the Coulter dragon is something we can all thank Palin for.
posted by saturnine at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had a Palinese once. Sad little wrinkled old thing. We had to put it down for its own comfort.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


This made me realize something about her speech that I was subconsciously noticing, but couldn't quite articulate (har). I don't know if she does this more than others, or more than the norm, or even more or less in her own, other, speech performances, but its interesting nonetheless. Many of these edits involve changing an indefinite, inanimate or metonymic referent to a definite, human or specific referent. In the several opening paragraphs we see the following (random sampling of) changes and insertions*:

This is => You are
centuries => 233 years
ø => brave men and women
besides faith => except for God
Abraham Lincoln's => Andrew Johnson's
Remember the => His
this => his great dream
ø and early visionaries => Seward and other

*Yes, there is confirmation bias on my part here...I obviously didn't include examples of edits where specific => general or other features. This isn't a scientific study, just passing observation.
posted by iamkimiam at 5:44 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


Comedy fucking gold.

Not to defend Palin or anything, but editing a transcript of some spoken remarks as if it were written prose is a pretty odd thing to do.

It's common for staff to release a text version of a person's spoken remarks. That text version is usually spit-shined to a high gloss.

The fact that the text release wasn't cleaned up speaks volumes. It still had the weird punctuation and the *((Gotta put First Things First))* in the official release.

DUDE.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2009 [3 favorites]


Many of these edits involve changing an indefinite, inanimate or metonymic referent to a definite, human or specific referent.

True, I see it now, too. It's unnecessarily wordy. She's just not that comfortable in her writing or her speaking, as if she knows she can't do it well, but can't fix it.

You'd think a journalism major could understand that.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:48 PM on July 20, 2009 [4 favorites]


I do some editing onscreen but mostly copy-edit my stuff (or other people's) in bright ink on paper -- so much less exhausting for the eyes, and you can wander about as you mark and mumble and read aloud.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2009


"Thank you all for coming here today on the shores of Lake Lucille."

God how I wish she had experienced microphone problems:

"Thank you all for coming [static] on [static] Lucille!"
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:54 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Right now, as we speak, is Palin tweeting a sort of help-wanted ad for a veteran to file an anti-ethics complaint lawsuit for her? Weirdness.

Sarah Palin is taking a bold and principled stand against government accountability.
posted by mr_roboto at 5:59 PM on July 20, 2009 [4 favorites]


I would have had to take a Xanax to edit that speech. Cheers to the editors at Vanity Fair!

And yes, editors do use pen and paper sometimes. The words stay put that way.
posted by brina at 6:01 PM on July 20, 2009


I like the part where they cross out the several rambling sentences in the paragraph after "our achievements speak for themselves."
posted by blenderfish at 6:05 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


All that anger and sexual frustration released in a cascade of red scribbling.
posted by fire&wings at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Seward however, secured Alaska realizing that Alaska could help secure the United States."
Clumsy.


Hmm. They added commas, too.

"Seward, however, secured Alaska, realizing that Alaska could help secure the United States."

But they missed the point of the sentence. She was drawing an allegory between herself and Seward, so the words deleted for the sake of efficiency make the sentence rather pointless outside of a high school history paper. Better would have been:

"He looked boldly North to the future, but endured ridicule for his vision. His adversaries would call his audacious dream, "Seward's folly." Seward, however, proceeded to secure Alaska for the security of our country. His way forward was politically unconventional and personally uncomfortable, but he knew that it was the right way forward."

But then, I suppose the goal of the VF editing wasn't really to make it better.
posted by zennie at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2009


Aaaaand, we've hit the "jump the shark" point for poking Sarah Palin with a stick.
posted by blucevalo at 6:26 PM on July 20, 2009 [5 favorites]


And I thought that grading freshmen was hard...
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:27 PM on July 20, 2009


I used to be a twitterhater, but that real-time schadenfreude is excellent. Combined with the Hoekstra thing, I now think that twitter is a continuous intelligence test for our pols. Every few minutes it given them the opportunity to say the dumb thing that just popped into their mind.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2009


When I was in high school one of my best friends would do something similar with erotic anime fan fiction, complete with different colored markings for cliches, grammatical errors, and things that sounded like they hurt. I think I still have one stashed away in the attic; it was always good for a laugh on a bad day.

She is now a damn fine English professor.
posted by Alison at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2009 [3 favorites]


Do editors really still work in pen and paper?

I used to. Now I use a pencil.
posted by booth at 7:04 PM on July 20, 2009


I lol'd <--chuckled
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:14 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


I prefer to do edits on paper for a couple of reasons. One, it gives me a hard copy of the original, and there have been times when I've decided the edits didn't work as I thought they would. Two, if I'm looking at something I've written, and I'm seeing a sea of red; then I realize I'm not communicating well at all, and I should go rethink my message before I try to commit it to formal language.

All that said, I would still want a real editor to look at anything I wrote before I submitted it to a publisher...or ya know, tried to give a speech in front of the free world.
posted by dejah420 at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2009


Enjoyed that.
posted by nickyskye at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2009


It's kinda like how sometimes when you're driving cross-country, out of fucking nowhere you see this dead horse by the side of the road.

"Who's horse was it?"
"Why is it dead?"
"Who drives out to the desert and leaves a dead horse there anyway?"

These are all questions you might ask yourself upon seeing a dead horse by the side of the road.

You park the car on the shoulder, get out, hold your nose so as not to breathe in any of its awful stank, open up the trunk and pull out a jack handle. You then walk over to the dead horse, raise the jack handle above your head, and "thwack!" "thwack!" "thwack!" again, beating that dead horse as if it were .... some kind of dead horse or something.

You then wipe off the jack handle, get back into your car, and drive off, feeling just that much better than you did before.

Until you notice that you smell like dead horse guts.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:33 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


"Who's Whose horse was it?"
posted by elsietheeel at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2009 [7 favorites]


I, as a book editor, still work on paper, both for my own comments before an author revises and on the copyedited manuscript that is eventually typeset.

When I asked the managing editor at my company why we don't edit digitally, he told me a story. Apparently, several years ago now at a large publisher here in New York (HarperCollins, maybe?) they spent a very large chunk of money to set up a digital editing system. Once the author turned in the manuscript, everything would be done on computers. They switched over to the new system, and a funny thing happened: errors. So many errors that a few years into the program, the one they'd spent thousands and thousands of dollars on, they scrapped the whole thing and went back to paper.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Anger and sexual frustration released in a cascade of scribbling.
posted by Decimask at 8:13 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Compliments on the title of your post.
posted by Houyhnhnm at 8:57 PM on July 20, 2009


holy...

...

o_O

they elected that to office? I know I've been a little out of touch ignoring the news of late but wait, SERIOUSLY?
posted by lonefrontranger at 9:18 PM on July 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow, that twitter stream of hers someone linked to is a disaster. I especially like the implication that people who criticize her in the press ought to be ashamed of themselves since...er....people died to give them the right to criticize her in the press. Right? Also, vets.
posted by frobozz at 10:15 PM on July 20, 2009


We know Sarah Palin is an idiot, and that, accordingly, each page will drip red ink. But what's more damning are the green marks from the research crew. They pick apart all of her factual inconsistencies and misdirections with the driest wit I've seen this side of the Atlantic. It's too bad that the MSM did not bother to go over this aspect of her speech, because, more than anything else, it highlights how dishonest she is as a human being — never mind her politics.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:25 PM on July 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


They should have diagrammed all the sentences instead.
posted by brundlefly at 10:57 PM on July 20, 2009


brundlefly: "They should have diagrammed all the sentences instead."

Dude, diagramming sentences can't even account for certain types of anaphoric reference in grammatical speech...hers would be an exercise in futility the equivalent of Chomsky pushing the moon up the Tower of Babel.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:14 PM on July 20, 2009


I'd like to see what the final copy would like after the edits (i.e. I'd like to read the new version they're suggesting, without having to look at the editing marks).

I'm typing it up right now.
posted by clorox at 11:37 PM on July 20, 2009




Check out the first and last notes in green ink on page 5. I'll eat my hat if they're not identical.
posted by clorox at 12:16 AM on July 21, 2009


Transcript Courtesy of Federal News Service

Edited by editor (Wayne Lawson, executive literary editor, Vanity Fair magazine); and res and copy (representatives from the research and copy departments, respectively, of Vanity Fair magazine).

Parsed and annotated by clorox (MetaFilter).

REMARKS BY ALASKA GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN (R) AT THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF HER RESIGNATION OF THE GOVERNORSHIP LATER THIS MONTH

WASILLA, ALASKA

FRIDAY, JULY 3, 2009

Thank you all for coming here today to Lake Lucille. You are a source of inspiration for my family and me. And I'm thankful that Todd flew in last night from commercial fishing grounds in Bristol Bay to stand by my side, as always.

It's the eve of our celebration of independence as a nation, a time to remember those souls who sacrificed selflessly so that we might live in freedom. From the shores of Maine to Texas and California, to the tip of Barrow, we live in peace because 233 years ago so many brave men and women fought for something far greater than themselves, and so many continue to fight today. Therefore, I say God bless our military on this eve of Independence day.

People who know me know that, except for God and family, nothing is more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I can imagine. I want Alaskans to grasp what could be in store for our state. We were purchased as a territory because a member of President Andrew Johnson's cabinet, William H. Seward, heard of this great land's vast riches and beauty and recognized its placement on the globe. He boldly looked to the future but later endured [p. 2] ridicule and mockery for his vision. His adversaries would call his great dream "Seward's folly." Seward, however, secured Alaska realizing that Alaska could help secure the United States.

Alaska is strategic as a crossroads of the world and a gatekeeper of the continent. Seward and other early visionaries saw that Alaska could play a key part in America's destiny. That destiny [1] includes developing the natural resources of this land, its wildlife and minerals, its oil and gas.

Serving this important state is a humbling responsibility, and I trust you know me by now. [2] I promised four years ago that I would show my independence and put an end to politics as usual. My administration's accomplishments speak for themselves.

We created a Petroleum Systems Integrity Office to oversee safe development. We held the line [p. 3] on Point Thomson. And now, with our cooperation you're seeing drilling up there for oil and gas.

A.G.I.A., [3] the gas-line project, was a massive bipartisan victory. The vote was 58 to 1. Unlike many other projects of its kind, this one is very competitive, perhaps the largest private sector energy project ever achieved in this state.

A.C.E.S., [4] another bipartisan effort, is working as it was intended to work, and industry is publicly acknowledging its success. Alaskans will no longer be taken advantage of. A.C.E.S. provides incentives for new exploration and development. It also provides for new jobs, unlike the previous system under a monopolized North Slope Oil Basin.

We ushered in bipartisan ethics reform and slowed the rate of government growth. We worked with the legislature to save billions of dollars for our future, and I made no new [5] lobbyist friends with my hundreds of millions of dollars in budget vetoes. Living beyond our means today spells chaos for tomorrow.

We took the dairy business away from the government and put it back into the hands of the private sector, where it belongs. [6]

We provided support for education. We filled long-vacant public-safety positions. [7] We built a sub-cabinet to deal with climate change, and we took heat from [p. 4] special interests for what I believe are our biologically sound practices to deal with wildlife management and practice predator control.

We broke ground on the state's new prison.

We eliminated [8] luxuries for government employees, such as [9] jets, chefs, junkets, and personal entourages. The lieutenant governor and I said no to pay raises.

For our successes in this first term, I am proud to take credit for hiring the right people. Our goal was to achieve a gas-line project, fair oil and gas valuation, and ethics reform in four years. Thanks to our group's astounding work ethic, we're well on our way in just two years.

I wish you would hear more from the media about your state's progress---how we tackle the special-interest bodies that would stymie our state and force the heavy hand of federal government into our communities. I've taken criticism for exercising my veto when I knew it was the right thing to do, but I'm convinced that being right is better than being popular. I felt that some of those special-interest dollars would harm not only Alaska, but also America. I turned down those dollars because they would add to the obscene national debt we're forcing in our children because of today's big government spending. It's not just immoral. It doesn't even make economic sense.
[p. 5]
Our Department of Law protected state's rights. In just the last two weeks, two U.S. Supreme Court reversals came down against the liberal Ninth Circuit, deciding in our state's favor. You don't hear much about the good stuff in the press, though, do you?

Some say things changed for me on August 29 last year, the day John McCain tapped me to be his running mate. It was an honor to stand beside a true American here. But I say others changed, and let me elaborate on that for a minute.

Political operatives descended on Alaska, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice. [10] Over the past nine months I've been accused of all forts of frivolous ethics violations, from holding a fish in a photograph for an Alaska Seafood Marketing Institute ad that ran during the presidential campaign to wearing a jacket with the logo of my husband's snow-machine sponsor [11] while answering reporter's questions. [12] Most of these ethics complaints have been dismissed. We won for the most part, but it cost us. The state has wasted thousands of hours of your time and shelled out nearly 200,000 of your dollars to respond to these attacks. That's money that won't be going to fund teachers or troopers or safer roads. [13]

Because of this politics of personal destruction, Todd and I are looking at more than half a million dollars in legal bills [14] to set the record straight. And what about the people who brought these silly accusations? It doesn't cost them a dime, so they're not going to stop spending the public's money in this game. It's [15][p. 6] insane. My staff and I spent most of our day dealing with this stuff instead of working for our state.

If I've learned one thing, it's that life is about choices. You can choose to engage in things that tear people down or that build people up. And I choose to work very hard to build up this state and our great country.

Life is too short to waste time and resources. Though it may be tempting to listen to those who tell you to stay in line and shut up, that's the quitter's way out. I think one big problem in our country today is apathy, and I refuse to just hunker down and go with the flow. We're fishermen, so we know that only dead fish go with the flow.

Productive people know where to put their effort and how to utilize precious time. There is a great need now to build up our state and fight for our country. I'll work hard for those who believe in free enterprise, smaller government, and strong national security, who want to support our troops and protect our freedom.
[p. 7]
I will support those willing to serve in or out of office, inside or outside Alaska. I don't care what party they belong to. But I won't do it from the governor's desk. For the sake of my state and my family, I have chosen not to see re-election as governor.

As I thought about this announcement, I also thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks. Many politicians travel around their state and other states, maybe even go overseas on international trade missions. But then I thought, That's wrong, just to hit the road and draw a paycheck. I'm not going to put Alaskans through that. I'm not wired to operate under the same old politics as usual. I promised you that four years ago, and I meant it. It is not what is best for Alaska at this time.

Therefore, I've decided it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell so that this administration, with its positive agenda and its [16] accomplishments, can continue without interruption to achieve administrative and legislative success.
[p. 8]
We know we can effect positive change outside government at this moment in time and actually make a difference. So we will, for Alaskans and for Americans.

Let me apply an analogy that seems comfortable for me, and that's basketball. You'd be naïve if you didn't see a full-court press picking away right now. A good point guard drives through that full-court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket. She knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can win. That is what I'm doing [17] -- keeping an eye on the ball that represents sound priorities. Those include energy independence, smaller government, and national security. And I know that it's time to pass the ball for victory.

I've given you my reasons candidly. My last day won't be for another few weeks, so the transition will be very smooth. In fact, we [18] look forward to swearing in Sean Parnell in Fairbanks at the conclusion of our governor's picnic at the end of the month.

I really don't want to disappoint anyone with my decision, [19] so all I can do is ask you to trust me. Maybe some Alaskans don't mind wasting public dollars and state time, [20] but I do. I cannot allow all that time and money to go to waste just so that I can hold the [p. 9] title of governor. Some people are going to question my timing. Let me just say that this decision has been in the works for a while, [21] and it comes only after much prayer and consideration.

I polled the most important people in my life---my kids---and they were unanimous. I asked them, "Do you want me to make a positive difference and fight for all our children's future from outside the governor's office?" It was four yeses and one "Hell, yeah!" That "Hell, yeah!" sealed it.

For the kids, their approval had to do with recently seeing their baby brother, Trig, mocked and ridiculed by mean-spirited adults. I only wish folks could understand how much we can learn from someone like Trig. I know he needs me, but I need him even more. The world needs more Trigs.

My decision was fortified by my trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl to visit our wounded soldiers overseas. We can all learn from our selfless troops. They're bold, and they don't give up, and they know that life is short, so they choose not to waste time. They choose to serve something greater than self and to build up our great country. These troops are where the worthy causes in this world can be found today. And that's where our public resources [p. 10] should be spent, instead of on wasteful political blood sport.

We've got to put first things first, for me that means Alaska. It hurts me to make this choice, but I'm doing what's best for Alaska. My parents have a little magnet on their refrigerator that says, "Don't explain. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you anyway." But I've chosen to give you my reasons. I've had my fill of politics as usual. [22]

I'm taking my fight for what's right for Alaska in a new direction. However, I sure don't want to dissuade any Alaskan from entering politics after seeing the climate change that began last August. We need hard-working, average Americans fighting for what's right. And I will support you, because you can effect change, just as I can, too, o̲u̲t̲s̲i̲d̲e̲ the political arena.

We need more people who will respect our Constitution, resist big-government takeover, and protect individual rights, who will also have the good sense to know when conditions drastically change and who will pass the ball when it's time so that the right team can win. That's what I'm doing here today.

Remember, Alaska, America is more than ever looking north to the future. God bless you. You have my heart. We're all going to be in [p. 11] the capable hands of our lieutenant governor, Sean Parnell, and Lieutenant General Craig Campbell will assume the role of lieutenant governor. And I promise you that I will be standing by, ready to assist. We have a strong, positive agenda for Alaska.

Take the words often attributed to General MacArthur: "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

Again I say, thank you, and God bless you, Alaska.

[1] Ambiguous marking by editor, comma removed
[2] Ambiguous marking by editor, no change
[3] Alaska Gasline Inducement Act. The intended style here is unclear.
[4] Alaska's Clear and Equitable Share. See note 3.
[5] The word "new" here, added by res, very subtly changes the meaning of the sentence.
[6] Note by res: "Assume we're referring to Matansuka Maid. If so, oversimplified & misleading."
[7] Note by res: "Please specify"
[8] The word "such" is written in at this point in editor's hand. It is fainter than most marks by editor, leading me to believe it was either poorly erased or an attempt at manipulation. There are several of these "ghost edits" throughout the document. Examinations were inconclusive. Since I can verify neither the legitimacy nor the intention of this mark, I have omitted it.
[9] Another faint mark in editor's hand, the letter "a," making the line read "...such aas..." See note 8.
[10] Note by res: "Misleading. Ethics complaints were all filed by Alaska residents & agencies"
[11] A faint full stop inserted here by editor, omitted. See note 8.
[12] "answering reporter's questions" has a faint red line through it, in the style of editor. No change. See note 8.
[13] Note by res: "Was this money actually diverted from school/police/highway funds?"
[14] Note by res: "On author"
[15] There is a note in res's hand at the end of page 5 that is identical to note 10. Photomanipulation of the document is strongly suspected.
[16] editor had inserted "long list of" at this point, res deleted the insertion.
[17] Ghost comma insertion in the style of editor. See note 8.
[18] Ambiguous marking by editor, no change.
[19] The words "with" and "decision" have traces of a red line through them. See note 8.
[20] Traces of red line through "and state time". See note 8.
[21] Note by res: Please specify"
[22] Traces of red line through "politics as usual". See note 8.
posted by clorox at 1:18 AM on July 21, 2009 [7 favorites]


Thanks, clorox.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:43 AM on July 21, 2009


You can't even fit the fish into that barrel.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:56 AM on July 21, 2009


Next up: a Facebook app like the English/Pirate one that turns all your entries into Palinese.
posted by nax at 3:29 AM on July 21, 2009


You'd think a journalism major could understand that.

It's like the old joke:
Q- What do you call a doctor who graduates at the bottom of her class?
A- "Doctor"
posted by nax at 3:34 AM on July 21, 2009


Anti-intellectualism is quintessentially Republican, and this sort of idiocy seems to be par for the course.

Sadly, it probably won't hurt her chances if she runs for public office again. George W. Bush regularly went on elocution safari and American voters put him in the Oval Office *twice*.
posted by zarq at 5:36 AM on July 21, 2009


She spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water.
posted by hangashore at 6:02 AM on July 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


George W. Bush regularly went on elocution safari and American voters put him in the Oval Office *twice*.

His neologisms were the best thing about him.
posted by kathrineg at 7:18 AM on July 21, 2009


When I listened to her speech the use of the word "centuries" hit me right between the eyes and I was so dazed I didn't hear what she said for the next 45 seconds or so. I've never heard the word centuries used to describe the 233 years since our War of Independence and I kept repeating to myself, "Centuries? Centuries?!" Perhaps that explains her own inimitable style-- use jarring and/or unconventional and/or confusing phrases and words to keep the intellectuals* dazed and off-kilter while the Palinistas get charged up.

As a matter of fact, I did google Seward right after she resigned because I didn't think Lincoln was President at the time of Alaska's purchase. Seward was originally picked by Lincoln to be Secretary of State even though the purchase did not go through until 2 years after the assassination. Therefore, she could technically call Seward "a member of Lincoln's cabinet." I think she (like so many politicians previously) just wanted to associate Lincoln with herself.

*Not that I am calling myself an Intellectual, more like "well-read.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:47 AM on July 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


(Applause.)
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:24 AM on July 21, 2009


John Jon Stewart probably won't use it, though.
posted by ericb at 8:59 AM on July 21, 2009


It's like the old joke:
Q- What do you call a doctor someone who graduates at the bottom of her class medical school?
A- "Doctor"

You're giving away the punchline in the setup.
posted by Bonzai at 10:03 AM on July 21, 2009


lats oll carekt eetch uthurs gramr :p

You're giving away the punchline in the setup.

ur maiken it les phunee
posted by zennie at 11:03 AM on July 21, 2009


George W. Bush regularly went on elocution safari and American voters put him in the Oval Office *twice*.

George W. Bush regularly went on elocution safari and American voters history's most elaborate election-rigging schemes put him in the Oval Office *twice*.
posted by Jon_Evil at 11:35 AM on July 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


His neologisms were the best thing about him.

I suppose we all misunderestimated the man to some extent.
posted by zarq at 11:40 AM on July 21, 2009


Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, the English language, and neither do we."
posted by kathrineg at 11:46 AM on July 21, 2009


Let me be the first to note that to the Palinistas, factual accuracy, literacy and general sanity are Un-American.

When she does it. Yet when Joe "Gaffe-a-matic" Biden said FDR went on TV when the stock market crashed, some of the same people were all over Biden because FDR wasn't president in 1929 and TV wasn't widely used.
Apparently it was theoretically possible for FDR to have been on TV, and he may have addressed the stock market crash in some way--not necessarily on TV--since he was governor of New York at the time.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:47 AM on July 21, 2009




That Shatner video is too damn funny. Was just about to post it here.
posted by chunking express at 8:15 AM on July 28, 2009


I love William Shatner so much.
posted by The World Famous at 2:21 PM on July 28, 2009


You're giving away the punchline in the setup.

No, actually, I'm not.

You must be a blast at parties, correcting everyone's jokes. I'm going to have to make sure you're on all my invitation lists so people don't screw up jokes. What a handy person you must be to have around.
posted by nax at 3:35 AM on July 29, 2009


It was a thread about editing mistakes and it was 8 days ago.
posted by Bonzai at 8:19 AM on July 29, 2009


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