I'm usually not that sympathetic to the "must have a lot of time on their hands" putdown, but man. posted by DU at 11:28 AM on July 24
You zap the wand of death. The dwarf king is killed! --more---
The death ray bounces! You are hit by a death ray! --more--
You die... --more-- posted by aheckler at 11:32 AM on July 24 [5 favorites]
Time is of the essence,
Its test you did not pass,
You should be more proactive
When breathing toxic gas.
That's some funny stuff there. Thanks dortmunder. posted by tellurian at 11:32 AM on July 24
Also great are the deaths in Gold Rush!. A game where you can be run over by a horse drawn wagon on a city street, get eaten by a crocodile, or get scurvy. I mean come on, what's cooler than scurvy? posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:38 AM on July 24
King's Quest!!!!!!!!!!!
Still sounds ridiculous, but very, very often when I drink water (which is often) the phrase "ahh, water, nectar of the gods, Graham can feel strength and renewal flowing through him" runs through my head. posted by Lutoslawski at 11:40 AM on July 24 [2 favorites]
King's Quest V was the best, and the narrator was the best, and Cedric was the best, and the death screams were the best. But I forgot about the abominable snowman! What an asshole. posted by iconomy at 11:41 AM on July 24
OMG and the icy ledge! And the eagle! I just remembered how much I hated King's Quest V. posted by iconomy at 11:43 AM on July 24 [1 favorite]
I suppose congratulations are in order, dortmunder. You've succeeded in making me all misty-eyed for Roberta Williams and Sierra of old. I think I'll come right over and give you a good thrumping.
First, I have to get down this unnecessarily...treacherous.......twisty....mountainsi- posted by schleppo at 11:51 AM on July 24
Police Quest taught me many important lessons in life:
1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.
2. Never walk in between a dartboard and a dart thrower.
3. You're not gonna score with that high-res lady, not even if you tear up her speeding ticket.
The last one isn't technically a random insta-death, but Sierra did love to pack 'em in, didn't they? posted by Spatch at 11:52 AM on July 24 [1 favorite]
I seem to remember the space quest games (coming out soon on steam, btw) having some really amusing deaths.
I love Quest for Glory so much. Every now and then I'll go back to playing it and it's always such a good time posted by scrutiny at 12:06 PM on July 24 [2 favorites]
You have been eaten by a grue. posted by loquacious at 12:07 PM on July 24
1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.
That one always pissed me off. posted by mrnutty at 12:09 PM on July 24
I was seriously afraid this was going to link to the Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs video, but I was happy to find video game deaths instead. That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths? posted by Avelwood at 12:09 PM on July 24
I remember when my friend got VGA and all I had was CGA. He had an account on a warez BBS and would get all the latest cracked games. I was so jealous. posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:10 PM on July 24
That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?
You're joking, right? Or... did Telltale Games add deaths to the new Monkey Island game? That would be some sort of crime against geekdom. posted by Maxson at 12:14 PM on July 24
That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?
Well, it depends on whether or not you need to hold your breath for more than ten minutes. posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:15 PM on July 24
Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs
I just googled this. That's certainly a bringdown. I'm going back to watching adventure game footage and reveling in nostalgia now. It's Friday, after all. posted by dortmunder at 12:19 PM on July 24
That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?
You're joking, right? Or... did Telltale Games add deaths to the new Monkey Island game? That would be some sort of crime against geekdom.
No.
There were a few ways to die in the games. For instance in the first game, Guybrush is tied to the idol and tossed off the pier. If you let the game run for about 30 minutes, leaving him under water, he will eventually turn green and die. Your regular options such as: open, use, pick up, etc. will be replaced with: bob, float, decay, etc.
Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them. posted by Avelwood at 12:19 PM on July 24
Monkey Island deaths? Only one is missing from the videos listed! posted by synthetik at 12:23 PM on July 24
1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.
I still have to think about not doing this in real life to avoid doing this in real life. Like, every morning. posted by davejay at 12:26 PM on July 24
Car racing game + ragdoll physics engine + crashes = Flatout [warning; musical montage]
I have to love any game where one of the contests involves you getting points for distance with regard to your body going out the windshield after a head on crash. posted by quin at 12:48 PM on July 24
Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them.
Next you'll tell me the extra disks actually exist.
(Seriously, though, I didn't know that- good to know! Guess I should pick up the Special Edition after all.) posted by Maxson at 12:51 PM on July 24
Ah yes, the games that hate you for playing them.
Playing through the Space Quest collection recently, I was struck by just how mean-spirited those deaths became. The two guys from Andromeda had an interesting perspective on the designer-player relationship that was pretty much abusive. Combining this with the often deliberately nonsensical puzzle solutions were the reason I ended up going over to Lucasarts adventure games. At least failing to understand their nonsensical puzzle solutions didn't usually get you killed. posted by Durhey at 12:54 PM on July 24
Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them.
Next you'll tell me the extra disks actually exist.
Wait, your Secret of Monkey Island game didn't come with disks 32456-32477?? posted by Avelwood at 1:19 PM on July 24
My absolute favorite way to die in the early Sierra games is to have sex with a whore without a condom, which causes your horrible death within seconds.
Obviously this is easiest to accomplish in Leisure Suit Larry I, but if you spend long enough trying you can manage it in Space Quest III, King's Quest IV, and Keeping Up with Jones. posted by gurple at 2:11 PM on July 24
ha glad to see i'm not the only into video game deaths... very entertaining posted by jcruelty at 2:30 PM on July 24
Here's my YouTube playlist of video game deaths, assembled over the years (months)? If you enjoy this kind of thing, er... enjoy
Subscribe
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:14 AM on July 24