Congratulations on your recent death
July 24, 2009 11:08 AM   Subscribe

Video footage of death for your amusement.

Space Quest Deaths.

Quest for Glory Deaths.

King's Quest Deaths.

Laura Bow 2 Deaths.

Conquests of Camelot deaths.


Conquests of the Longbow Deaths.


Police Quest Deaths.
posted by dortmunder (42 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
The original Prince Of Persia game had some pretty great ways to die, too.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:14 AM on July 24, 2009


Yaaaaaay King's Quest IV! I play this game through with a bottle of wine about once every two or three years and am basically a living walk-through.

God damn those fucking spiral staircases to hell, though, that shit is NOT COOL.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:22 AM on July 24, 2009 [4 favorites]


P.S. This post is way less offensive than I thought it would be
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:22 AM on July 24, 2009 [3 favorites]


I like all of the deaths in Dragon's Lair.
posted by zsazsa at 11:23 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm usually not that sympathetic to the "must have a lot of time on their hands" putdown, but man.
posted by DU at 11:28 AM on July 24, 2009


You zap the wand of death. The dwarf king is killed! --more---
The death ray bounces! You are hit by a death ray! --more--
You die... --more--
posted by aheckler at 11:32 AM on July 24, 2009 [5 favorites]


Don't forget Ben Jordan.

Time is of the essence,
Its test you did not pass,
You should be more proactive
When breathing toxic gas.

That's some funny stuff there. Thanks dortmunder.
posted by tellurian at 11:32 AM on July 24, 2009


Also great are the deaths in Gold Rush!. A game where you can be run over by a horse drawn wagon on a city street, get eaten by a crocodile, or get scurvy. I mean come on, what's cooler than scurvy?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:38 AM on July 24, 2009


King's Quest!!!!!!!!!!!

Still sounds ridiculous, but very, very often when I drink water (which is often) the phrase "ahh, water, nectar of the gods, Graham can feel strength and renewal flowing through him" runs through my head.
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:40 AM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


King's Quest V was the best, and the narrator was the best, and Cedric was the best, and the death screams were the best. But I forgot about the abominable snowman! What an asshole.
posted by iconomy at 11:41 AM on July 24, 2009


OMG and the icy ledge! And the eagle! I just remembered how much I hated King's Quest V.
posted by iconomy at 11:43 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


You have died of dysentery.
posted by cog_nate at 11:50 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I suppose congratulations are in order, dortmunder. You've succeeded in making me all misty-eyed for Roberta Williams and Sierra of old. I think I'll come right over and give you a good thrumping.

First, I have to get down this unnecessarily...treacherous.......twisty....mountainsi-
posted by schleppo at 11:51 AM on July 24, 2009


Police Quest taught me many important lessons in life:

1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.

2. Never walk in between a dartboard and a dart thrower.

3. You're not gonna score with that high-res lady, not even if you tear up her speeding ticket.

The last one isn't technically a random insta-death, but Sierra did love to pack 'em in, didn't they?
posted by Spatch at 11:52 AM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


I seem to remember the space quest games (coming out soon on steam, btw) having some really amusing deaths.

*checks link.*

yup.
posted by shmegegge at 12:04 PM on July 24, 2009


I love Quest for Glory so much. Every now and then I'll go back to playing it and it's always such a good time
posted by scrutiny at 12:06 PM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


You have been eaten by a grue.
posted by loquacious at 12:07 PM on July 24, 2009


1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.

That one always pissed me off.
posted by mrnutty at 12:09 PM on July 24, 2009


I was seriously afraid this was going to link to the Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs video, but I was happy to find video game deaths instead. That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?
posted by Avelwood at 12:09 PM on July 24, 2009


I remember when my friend got VGA and all I had was CGA. He had an account on a warez BBS and would get all the latest cracked games. I was so jealous.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:10 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?

You're joking, right? Or... did Telltale Games add deaths to the new Monkey Island game? That would be some sort of crime against geekdom.
posted by Maxson at 12:14 PM on July 24, 2009


That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?

There is only one Monkey Island death.
posted by dortmunder at 12:15 PM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Well, it depends on whether or not you need to hold your breath for more than ten minutes.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 12:15 PM on July 24, 2009


Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs

I just googled this. That's certainly a bringdown. I'm going back to watching adventure game footage and reveling in nostalgia now. It's Friday, after all.
posted by dortmunder at 12:19 PM on July 24, 2009




That being said, where are the Monkey Island deaths?

You're joking, right? Or... did Telltale Games add deaths to the new Monkey Island game? That would be some sort of crime against geekdom.


No.

There were a few ways to die in the games. For instance in the first game, Guybrush is tied to the idol and tossed off the pier. If you let the game run for about 30 minutes, leaving him under water, he will eventually turn green and die. Your regular options such as: open, use, pick up, etc. will be replaced with: bob, float, decay, etc.

Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them.
posted by Avelwood at 12:19 PM on July 24, 2009


Monkey Island deaths? Only one is missing from the videos listed!
posted by synthetik at 12:23 PM on July 24, 2009


1. Always inspect your car by walking around it before driving off, or else it will crash. Inevitably.

I still have to think about not doing this in real life to avoid doing this in real life. Like, every morning.
posted by davejay at 12:26 PM on July 24, 2009


Just in case you hadn't heard The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition on the iPhone.
posted by tellurian at 12:34 PM on July 24, 2009


Car racing game + ragdoll physics engine + crashes = Flatout [warning; musical montage]

I have to love any game where one of the contests involves you getting points for distance with regard to your body going out the windshield after a head on crash.
posted by quin at 12:48 PM on July 24, 2009


Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them.

Next you'll tell me the extra disks actually exist.

(Seriously, though, I didn't know that- good to know! Guess I should pick up the Special Edition after all.)
posted by Maxson at 12:51 PM on July 24, 2009


Ah yes, the games that hate you for playing them.

Playing through the Space Quest collection recently, I was struck by just how mean-spirited those deaths became. The two guys from Andromeda had an interesting perspective on the designer-player relationship that was pretty much abusive. Combining this with the often deliberately nonsensical puzzle solutions were the reason I ended up going over to Lucasarts adventure games. At least failing to understand their nonsensical puzzle solutions didn't usually get you killed.
posted by Durhey at 12:54 PM on July 24, 2009


Cute little twists throughout the games allow him to die. I've always wanted to find all of them.

Next you'll tell me the extra disks actually exist.


Wait, your Secret of Monkey Island game didn't come with disks 32456-32477??
posted by Avelwood at 1:19 PM on July 24, 2009


Space Quest collection on Steam.
King's Quest collection on Steam.

Rockin!
posted by m0nm0n at 1:55 PM on July 24, 2009 [1 favorite]


My absolute favorite way to die in the early Sierra games is to have sex with a whore without a condom, which causes your horrible death within seconds.

Obviously this is easiest to accomplish in Leisure Suit Larry I, but if you spend long enough trying you can manage it in Space Quest III, King's Quest IV, and Keeping Up with Jones.
posted by gurple at 2:11 PM on July 24, 2009


ha glad to see i'm not the only into video game deaths... very entertaining
posted by jcruelty at 2:30 PM on July 24, 2009


Here's my YouTube playlist of video game deaths, assembled over the years (months)? If you enjoy this kind of thing, er... enjoy

Best of videogame death montages
posted by jcruelty at 5:05 PM on July 24, 2009


A few highlights:

Indigo Prophecy death scenes

Clock Tower deaths

Another World deaths

What not to do in Blue Force

Shadowgate All Deaths (pt 1)
posted by jcruelty at 5:08 PM on July 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


Do not shoot the other players - yet.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:22 PM on July 24, 2009


I love Quest for Glory so much. Every now and then I'll go back to playing it and it's always such a good time

Quest for Glory 2 got the AGD treatment.
posted by kid ichorous at 1:40 AM on July 25, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thanks for playing Space Quest 4. As usual, you've been a real pantload.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 7:24 AM on July 25, 2009


QG2 in VGA! I'm so excited!
posted by scrutiny at 7:36 AM on July 25, 2009


all I had was CGA
I had a frickin' Hercules so I had to load a CGA emulator every time...
posted by yoHighness at 5:04 PM on July 25, 2009


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