Sucky craigslist posts.
July 28, 2009 6:22 AM   Subscribe

You Suck at Craigslist

Highlights:

Not sure what these are

i rilly nead a jeoarb

FROGS FROGS FROGS!!!!
posted by splatta (52 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
I was about to ask this question over on askmefi but thought that it fits here better. What medical condition does a cardboard cut out of Bea Arthur treat? My head hurts now and I'm sure I need more coffee.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:29 AM on July 28, 2009


MettoFItfteeer: i rilly neeeed a jorb, any kind of jeaeb.
posted by Plutor at 6:29 AM on July 28, 2009


warning: if you read this at work, you will snort and people will look.
posted by litleozy at 6:34 AM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


What medical condition does a cardboard cut out of Bea Arthur treat?

Priapism?
posted by permafrost at 6:35 AM on July 28, 2009 [21 favorites]


I love this blog. I wanted to start one for the UK equivalent, Gumtree, until I realised that looking through those awful Casual Encounters ads would cause loss of partner and loss of interest in being touched by another human being ever again.
posted by mippy at 6:40 AM on July 28, 2009


warning: if you read this at work, you will snort and people will look.

Holy God! I fucking love the internet!

People at my joraeb are looking at me funny because I've got tears running down my face and horrible hiccups.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:42 AM on July 28, 2009


Jeorb
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


n e thing

Maybe I don't have a jorab because I meticulouly spell-check and proofread my resumes.

I kanet doo n e thing rte.
posted by scratch at 6:51 AM on July 28, 2009


*meticulously*

I don't rpoofread my MeFi posts tho
(dammit)
posted by scratch at 6:53 AM on July 28, 2009


The guy in the dating video is cute. Can I buy him off Craigslist?
posted by Solomon at 6:53 AM on July 28, 2009


Oh FFS, the link links to Strongbad. Pffff.
posted by DU at 6:55 AM on July 28, 2009


Also, the Frogs Frogs Frogs one reminds me of that whole Hopkin Green Frog business a while back. Coincidence? You tell me.
posted by scratch at 6:57 AM on July 28, 2009


These people are actually awesome at Craigslist.
posted by gman at 6:59 AM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


Ugh. Another damn blog of people snarking at things.
posted by jbickers at 7:03 AM on July 28, 2009 [12 favorites]


At first permafrost I thought you had found something serious and I was curious as to what the medical condition was and now I can't stop laughing. The snark is strong with you.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 7:06 AM on July 28, 2009


oh my. I ended up here: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-Chan and it's actually really rather sad.
posted by handee at 7:08 AM on July 28, 2009


oh my. I ended up here: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-Chan and it's actually really rather sad.

how?
posted by litleozy at 7:15 AM on July 28, 2009


I'm a very snarky kind of guy, but the "i rilly nead a jeoarb" post made me very sad. The person who wrote it could very well be a very hard worker who is willing to do anything necessary to scrape together a few bucks each week, but because he lacks written language skills (and possibly speaks English as a second language, which is double the number of languages I, in my cushy ergonomic office chair, reading his plea for employment for fun, possess), he probably has no shot at getting any response from what sounds like a really desperate plea for help.
posted by xingcat at 7:23 AM on July 28, 2009 [7 favorites]


how?

I ended up there too. A couple of posts back is a singles ad from some dude named CWC. It's a rabbit-hole of sadness and dysfunction. I want my half-hour back. You've been warned.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 7:24 AM on July 28, 2009


Metafilter: Ugh. Another damn blog of people snarking at things.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:27 AM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


Ugh. Another damn blog of people snarking at things.

Not even really good at it, either.
posted by contessa at 7:57 AM on July 28, 2009


Jeorb
posted by DU


Well, I just choked on yogurt for the first time in my life, so this is turning out to be an experience-filled day.... here at my... jeoarb.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:58 AM on July 28, 2009


I don't know if the rest of the blog is like the highlights here, but of these three: the first is disingenuous and reminds me very much of the sorts of jokes that people like to retell and pretend was their own (Lost dog, missing one eye, two legs, tail, responds to "Lucky"). The second is someone extremely desperate (or also disingenuous), and the third is a kid.

Way to stick it to the man, bloggers.
posted by The Loch Ness Monster at 8:03 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


The lovely abstract motifs for commenters who don't have avatar pics are really out of place there.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:04 AM on July 28, 2009


Brand new Tamporeen for sale! – $5

Because you want everyone to hear when Aunt Flo has arrived.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:13 AM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Meh... I sent them a bizarre and funny CL posting last month, but they never posted it and just continued with the misspellings and "French Prudential" examples, which are all getting to be old. I prefer Don't Even Reply (like Letters From A Nut for Craigslist) but it hasn't been updated since last week.
posted by crapmatic at 8:22 AM on July 28, 2009


What medical condition does a cardboard cut out of Bea Arthur treat?

Lack of hilarity in one's life.
posted by blucevalo at 8:23 AM on July 28, 2009


test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you TOO MANY BEES!!!
posted by kaspen at 8:23 AM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


They may suck at CraigsList but the author sucks at humor.

Did he/she not really get that the ironing boards as surf boards was a put-on?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:25 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did he/she not really get that the ironing boards as surf boards was a put-on?

Yeah, I think a lot of the "sucking" (like the truck with bees) is people making jokes.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:44 AM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


This just in: More first year creative writing drop-outs are writing blogs that while being snarky, are indicative of their lack of writing skills and imagination.
posted by subaruwrx at 8:49 AM on July 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


Look at this fucking craigslist.
posted by orme at 8:57 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


FROGS:

What are the chances, if you use one of the three different spellings randomly each time, that you will get the proper word in the proper place completely by accident at least once? (The answer is, of course, 1 out of 3 — each time you choose a word at random, there’s a 33.33% chance that it was the right one.)

No. No no no. We must destroy this completely before the ignorance spreads to others.

(the answer is, of course, 1 - (1 - p)^k, where p is the probability of a correct guess and k is the number of attempts to spell the word correctly)
posted by gurple at 9:19 AM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


test drives at ur own risk i cant go with you TOO MANY BEES!!!

Oh, bees. You're always hilarious.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:28 AM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's blocked at my work, but the best of craigslist is maintained by craigslist: Best of Craigslist.
posted by joecacti at 9:32 AM on July 28, 2009


This kind of stuff usually just makes me sad.
posted by kathrineg at 9:53 AM on July 28, 2009


This just in: More first year creative writing drop-outs are writing blogs that while being snarky, are indicative of their lack of writing skills and imagination.

$5 says they've already hired a book agent
posted by xthlc at 9:56 AM on July 28, 2009


For those yet clueless about "jeorb", it was explained by DU here, but if you're unwilling or unable to click through, to spell it out plainly, it's almost certainly a reference to an old Homestar Runner joke.
posted by Diagonalize at 10:13 AM on July 28, 2009


For those yet clueless about "jeorb", it was explained by DU here, but if you're unwilling or unable to click through, to spell it out plainly, it's almost certainly a reference to an old Homestar Runner joke.

Oh, don't mess with my sadness.
posted by xingcat at 10:37 AM on July 28, 2009


Is cortex doing markovcraiglistposting now?

Hasings a Wanting: Varg Doll

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is foodpeeple
Has wants of these here mans:
A ONE Varg doll from the Burzum. BUT and here and exclusive to here is CATCH: must have approvings for the from Varg himselfed.Tragedy happen: last Varg doll purchse?//? MOUNTAIN DUDE BOTTLE EXTRAED WITH DOGHAIRED STAPLED ONAND ALSO THIS VARGHEAD TAPE ON IT!11!!

Serioused reply to thanks

thanksed to you mans
- foodpeeple

posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:10 AM on July 28, 2009


Ah: Varg. Burzum. The rest? I dunno man, that's not even English.
posted by dejah420 at 11:28 AM on July 28, 2009


I'm not looking through all that weird stuff -- I'm too busy trying to talk a guy into selling me Michael Jackson's prosthetic nose.
posted by jamstigator at 11:31 AM on July 28, 2009


I'm too busy crying over our school system now to read any more of these.
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:36 AM on July 28, 2009


Foodpeeple are awsome. Empty Cans Hasing You Down?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:36 AM on July 28, 2009


I used to think craigslist was for posting ads and the like, but it's really a viewport into the decline of civilization. So now instead of feeling sad, I'm getting a voyeuristic thrill watching it all slowly fall to pieces.
posted by tommasz at 12:03 PM on July 28, 2009


Hasings a Wanting: Varg Doll

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is foodpeeple
Has wants of these here mans:
A ONE Varg doll from the Burzum. BUT and here and exclusive to here is CATCH: must have approvings for the from Varg himselfed.Tragedy happen: last Varg doll purchse?//? MOUNTAIN DUDE BOTTLE EXTRAED WITH DOGHAIRED STAPLED ONAND ALSO THIS VARGHEAD TAPE ON IT!11!!

Serioused reply to thanks

thanksed to you mans
- foodpeeple


-----------------------------------

I am looking for a Varg doll

Hi,

My name is Feedpeeple and I am looking for the following:

One Varg Vikernes doll, from the one-man-band band "Burzum". However, there is the catch; The doll must be officically approved by Varg Vikernes himself.

Last time i tried to buy one of these dolls, what i actually got was a cheap likeness of Varg Vikernes' head taped onto a Mountain Dew bottle with dog hair stapled onto said bottle -and as you can imagine, i was very unhappy with my purchase.

Serious replies only.

Thanks,

Foodpeeple
posted by ill13 at 2:39 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


meh...

"A Varg Vikernes doll" and "However, there is a catch"

...still, I'm sure y'all get the point.
posted by ill13 at 2:41 PM on July 28, 2009


This blog may be mediocre but foodpeeple and i are now facebook friends.

FOODPEEPLE #! GOOglZE RESLUT
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:52 PM on July 28, 2009


Obviously he meant job, morans.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:56 PM on July 28, 2009


oh my. I ended up here: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris-Chan and it's actually really rather sad.

CWC! God love him, is he on Craigslist too? I've been following up on this guy every few months for a while now. He may be mentally and developmentally disabled but he has one self-promoting web presence. I thought of doing an FPP on him but decided not to, for obvious reasons. Still, I can't look away. He is going to hurt someone. Don't know where, don't know who, but . . . Ah, Chris-chan! Ah, humanity!
posted by Countess Elena at 5:16 PM on July 28, 2009


One thing I love about Craigslist is how every single person looking for a place to rent decribes him/herself as "laid back."
posted by banishedimmortal at 12:26 AM on July 29, 2009


Just saw this, looking through the computer listings:

"I have a mac osx. the model that looks like the upsidedown bowl : ) it is in perfect condition just needs power supply. it also has a large selection of hip hop/rap/r and b music on file which we can leave if you desire. please call xxxxxxx for more information if you are interested. thanks for looking!!!"

I always wanted one of those osxs.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:59 PM on August 3, 2009


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