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Shatner Interprets Palin
July 28, 2009 12:29 PM   Subscribe

Shatner Interprets Palin
posted by CunningLinguist (73 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Sadly, he didn't do the part about the dire 2nd amendment threat from "delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets," which was my favorite part of Sunday's farewell speech.
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:29 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Double?

Mind you, It is a freaky awesome video.
posted by chunking express at 12:31 PM on July 28, 2009


Shatner is a more nuanced and understated performer than Palin.
posted by acrasis at 12:32 PM on July 28, 2009 [13 favorites]


oh my god that woman is crazy
posted by boo_radley at 12:35 PM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wow. Shatner is short. Or Conan is tall.
posted by punkfloyd at 12:35 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Conan is gigantic. I think all those late night hosts are like 6 foot something.
posted by chunking express at 12:38 PM on July 28, 2009


The link in the old thread is dead (NBC censors strike again) so this post should stand, damnit. Don't make me put my beret on and come over there chunking.



(When I saw Shatner was the number one topic on twitter today, I thought for a terrible moment that he had died. Glad to find it was just this.)
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:39 PM on July 28, 2009


Conan is tall. Many celebrities are diminutive. I was once told by a movie producer this was so sets could be made smaller and thus save the studios money. Still don't know if he was joking or not.

The camera also does add at least 10 pounds. At least.
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:41 PM on July 28, 2009


> Wow. Shatner is short. Or Conan is tall.

Conan is a lanky mother fucker, and watching him dance is some sort of weird train wreck you can't turn away from.
posted by mrzarquon at 12:41 PM on July 28, 2009 [9 favorites]


enough Palin, please
posted by Postroad at 12:45 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


I was once told by a movie producer this was so sets could be made smaller and thus save the studios money. Still don't know if he was joking or not.


He was. Tiny people with large heads just look better on screen. This is why the vast majority of actors are tiny people with large heads. The remainder are mostly normal-sized people with enormous heads, although there is a small percentage of actors who are large people with truly shockingly gargantuan heads.
posted by dersins at 12:46 PM on July 28, 2009 [36 favorites]


I was once told by a movie producer this was so sets could be made smaller and thus save the studios money.

That's hilarious! I'm going to start telling people that, too. When I lived in DC I was constantly amazed at how teeny people I'd known only from TV were.
posted by CunningLinguist at 12:47 PM on July 28, 2009


I enabled scripts from the endless stream of sites it demanded. Now I feel dirty and the video still won't play.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:48 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Palin finally makes sense.
She has Mike Gravel beat for postmodern political candidate of the decade.
posted by Capt Jingo at 12:50 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


I wonder if we'll get to hear Palin do Rocketman.


Rocketman? Rock..it..man.
posted by electroboy at 12:50 PM on July 28, 2009


She's from Wasilla, doesn't truck with knowledge
She gave a speech at Patrick Henry College
That's where I
Caught her eye

She told me that her state was loaded
I said in that case, I'll have some crude and Coca-Cola
She said fine
And in thirty seconds time, said
I want to lead the common people,
I want to speak like common people do,
I want to stand for the common people,
I want the votes from common people like you.
Well, what else could I do?
I said I'll see what I could do...
posted by Spatch at 12:51 PM on July 28, 2009 [88 favorites]


I'm a more-or-less average-sized person with a big head. Is show-biz the right career for me?
posted by box at 12:53 PM on July 28, 2009


Y'all do realize that the more attention you give this person, the more likely it is she remains in politics, right?
posted by Maximian at 12:55 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


according to imdb shatner is 5'9.5" and conan is 6'4"

for some strange reason one of my favorite things about imdb (a great site in general) is that the actors bios always indicate their height, even if no other physical attributes are mentioned at all. I am now weirdly obsessed with knowing how tall (or short) various actors are.
posted by supermedusa at 12:56 PM on July 28, 2009


also, I think its more of a tendency for male actors to be short (big head optional) but it seems to me that many female actors tend to be surprisingly tall. not sure if there is any profound meaning can be squeezed from this...
posted by supermedusa at 12:57 PM on July 28, 2009





I kinda like it as a poem
posted by Shepherd at 12:59 PM on July 28, 2009 [7 favorites]


Y'all do realize that the more attention you give this person, the more likely it is she remains in politics, right?

How, exactly, is this a bad thing?
posted by explosion at 1:01 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


More Palin, please. She's a simulacrum, created by the media to be a nearly pure embodiment of The American Ideal.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:01 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


(if anyone else is experiencing breakage staring at a loading screen, selecting the video from the column on the right makes it go)
posted by a robot made out of meat at 1:02 PM on July 28, 2009


It frightens me to think that Palin has some legitimacy as a poet.
posted by jabberjaw at 1:04 PM on July 28, 2009


I kinda like it as a poem

Me too, although the delivery is missing a beret and an unattended cigarette left burning in an ashtray. Maybe some finger snapping as well.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:05 PM on July 28, 2009


Metafilter: Doesn't it Split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?
posted by sour cream at 1:05 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sorry, I've always wanted to do that once.

But seriously, what's a "Cheechako"?
And what does the whole phrase mean?

Or is it some sort of dog whistle that you have to belong to some fringe group to understand?
posted by sour cream at 1:07 PM on July 28, 2009


Another great Shatner/Conan collaboration: Da Shatner Funk
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:08 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


cheechako: A new-comer to Alaska, ignorant of the terrain, the weather, the animals, the culture, the necessary driving skills in the winter, etc. Opposite of a sourdough.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:08 PM on July 28, 2009


Or is it some sort of dog whistle that you have to belong to some fringe group to understand?

I think that describes about 75% of Palin's vocabulary. She's a master of right-wing steganography; her speeches may sound like incoherent rambling to us but to the "Our Sarah" crowd, they make perfect sense. I think that you're being tripped up by your belief that she's even trying to speak English.
posted by octothorpe at 1:14 PM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


according to imdb shatner is 5'9.5"

With 2" lift shoes, maybe.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:16 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I enabled scripts from the endless stream of sites it demanded. Now I feel dirty and the video still won't play.

Yeah, I'm going to have to wait until this hits YouTube or until NBC can embed a player that doesn't cause strange alarm bells to go of in my browser. Sorry NBC, if you want the advertising to be gleaned from putting clips online, you need to actually make them work for people.
posted by Avelwood at 1:16 PM on July 28, 2009


Well done, Spatch. I was trying to get something from the Shatner and Rollins duet rant (unofficial video, but I think it's over unedited audio), but I couldn't get behind it.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:16 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is what the internet is for. This was, without exaggeration, the finest work of art in the history of humankind. This was so good it makes me want to whizz on the Mona Lisa.
posted by Mister_A at 1:18 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Zina Saunder's interpretation of the same speech: Alaskan Roulette.

I really like Saunder's choice of facial expressions there, how it's the perfect mix of sheer lunacy and gonzo balls-out commitment. In a way, it makes the painting somewhat ambiguous: as much as I like the illustration, I could also see Palin supporters liking it as well, because they see reflected in it what they'd consider her "go-for-broke, take-no-prisoners" style.
posted by Ian A.T. at 1:19 PM on July 28, 2009


(Oh, I'm sorry...the Saunders illustration isn't about this speech, but rather the initial July 3 announcement.)
posted by Ian A.T. at 1:21 PM on July 28, 2009


Shatner has been wearing lifts (and a wig) for years. Check his shoes as he kicks Chris Lloyd in Star Trek III.
posted by A189Nut at 1:26 PM on July 28, 2009


Every time I hear about a new bit with Shatner, I think "this is the time they're going to that well one too many times." And every time, Shatner proves that his well will always be full.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:39 PM on July 28, 2009 [12 favorites]


Tiny people with large heads just look better on screen.

Hollywood, here I come!
posted by brundlefly at 1:42 PM on July 28, 2009


I just found the Shatner/Palin video on Hulu
posted by destinyland at 1:44 PM on July 28, 2009


I wonder how much Shatner would charge to read my Powerpoints at meetings.
posted by tommasz at 1:45 PM on July 28, 2009 [7 favorites]


Jon Stewart bids farewell to "The Quitter."

David Letterman et al on Palin.
posted by ericb at 1:51 PM on July 28, 2009


I think all those late night hosts are like 6 foot something.

Jon Stewart is tiny.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:01 PM on July 28, 2009 [3 favorites]


Awesome - I love it when MeFi collides with Bob Cesca's blog (both sites posted this).
posted by PuppyCat at 2:08 PM on July 28, 2009


I thought that she was talking about Couric at first, when I read the very bizarre tiny starlet quote.
posted by Mister_A at 2:09 PM on July 28, 2009


According to Jon Stewart last night, the reference to "delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets" was maybe a reference to Ashley Judd doing some sort of political ad back in February about Palin shooting wolves from a helicopter. As Jon Stewart said much better than I, Ashley Judd hardly qualifies as a "delicate, tiny starlet."
posted by blucevalo at 2:23 PM on July 28, 2009


In honor of the American troops, you quit making things up.

Just out of curiosity, can anybody cite an example of one soldier who has ever died to protect freedom of speech? It seems to be that lawyers for the ACLU and judges with a good understanding of the Constitution are the real advance troops in that war.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:35 PM on July 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


Even worse: Kristol's on the daily show.
posted by boo_radley at 2:47 PM on July 28, 2009


I wonder how much Shatner would charge to read my Powerpoints at meetings.

Probably a lot, but he would do it.
posted by brundlefly at 2:52 PM on July 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


Astro Zombie: "Just out of curiosity, can anybody cite an example of one soldier who has ever died to protect freedom of speech? It seems to be that lawyers for the ACLU and judges with a good understanding of the Constitution are the real advance troops in that war."

Well, the Bill of Rights was ratified well before 1812. I don't think soldiers get to fill out a form identifying a totem freedom, so I guess we can just divide the number of U.S. dead by the number of rights identified in the Constitution prior to the War of 1812 ending and get the number who died defending freedom of speech.

What would have happened if the U.S. had lost, anyhow? Maybe my point isn't so clever.
posted by mph at 3:00 PM on July 28, 2009


enough Palin, please

I've got a nifty idea: Don't participate in the threads you aren't interested in. I do it everyday.
posted by belvidere at 3:08 PM on July 28, 2009 [4 favorites]


What's great about this is that, at some point in a writers room, a bunch of people were kicking around concepts on a treatment for this and coming up with some really fucked up ideas:

"Maybe we could get Tina Fey to act like she was drunk and recite the speech..."

"Ooh, we could suggest that she had a head injury..."

"Or she is a Soviet spy speaking in code? That could be funny right? Because she could see Russia?"

"Hey, what if we show that her speech writer is just a manatee pulling word balls out of a hopper of some kind?"

"Shut up everyone, I'm having a thought. I'm hearing Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds..."

"You want us to try to try and sync it up with the Beatles?"

"No, I want it spoken word. By Shatner."

"Fuck!"

"That could be dangerous, the Shatner has... power. Given the right words, he could destroy the universe"

"Doesn't matter. We are going to do this, and it will be awesome."




And it was.
posted by quin at 3:28 PM on July 28, 2009 [6 favorites]


More Palin, please. She's a simulacrum, created by the media to be a nearly pure embodiment of The American Ideal.

Nicole Thibodeaux?
posted by rokusan at 3:38 PM on July 28, 2009


What would have happened if the U.S. had lost, anyhow? Maybe my point isn't so clever.

I guess we would have remained part of England, or a commonwealth like Canada or Australia, and would have had our freedom of speech as limited as it is in those countries.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:46 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Shatner could read a cereal box and I'd listen.
posted by bwg at 3:57 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


That was fabulous.

But what if Palin interpreted The Gettysburg Address?

(Full disclosure: shameless link to boyfriend's blog.)
posted by Space Kitty at 4:10 PM on July 28, 2009


Palin Song! (previously)

♫♪ job cre a tion ♫♪
posted by Rhaomi at 4:22 PM on July 28, 2009


So, when she complains about those people who are pessimistic about the future of America and talks about its greatest days being in the past, she means the Freepers, right?
posted by Saxon Kane at 5:31 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I can take even less Palin than I can Bush (which was about 0), so I never saw her speech. Was that actually her words? In all seriousness, W. T. F. is wrong with half of America?
posted by DU at 6:04 PM on July 28, 2009 [2 favorites]


Oh and: As lame as much of it is, I'm so glad YouTube exists. How can a major corporation dedicated to delivering video content be unable to make a flash player that works, especially when there are so many reference implementations?
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


I guess we would have remained part of England, or a commonwealth like Canada or Australia, and would have had our freedom of speech as limited as it is in those countries.

It's not limited, it's nuanced.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:25 PM on July 28, 2009


The link I followed to first see this video was entitled "Shatner Does Palin". I was disappointed.
posted by nowonmai at 7:44 PM on July 28, 2009 [1 favorite]


Every time i see the bongos and an upright bass used a prop to signify some sort of beatnik poetry vibe, I always wonder if that was ever a real thing. It always seems to me like something somebody did once, but the magazine photographer just happened to be there that day.
posted by billyfleetwood at 10:35 PM on July 28, 2009


"I guess we would have remained part of England, or a commonwealth like Canada or Australia, and would have had our freedom of speech as limited as it is in those countries."

I'm in Australia, and can openly suggest in public that our head of state could benefit from a high velocity projectile, without being imprisoned or fined. Maybe I'm just not suggesting it loudly enough?
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 11:16 PM on July 28, 2009


Man, those Priceline commercials keep getting better and better.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:23 AM on July 29, 2009


Listening to the original speech made me think of the gibberish that some schizophrenics will lapse into. I looked up word salad on wikipedia, because I dimly remembered that being the correct terminology for this phenomenon. It turns out schizophasia is the more accurate word, as 'word salad' is also used in the context of bayesian poisoning. So there you have it: Sarah Palin could be mentally ill, or she could be a spammer. I say we wait to see if she starts selling herbal viagra before we draw any conclusions
posted by Ritchie at 12:57 AM on July 29, 2009 [3 favorites]


I stumbled onto this piece of brilliance, yesterday: "Shatner on the Mount" (Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain...).
posted by steef at 5:40 AM on July 29, 2009 [1 favorite]


Damn it Shatner, you're making her sound sane!

Comedy GOLD that was. A veritable faretheewell speech on acid. WOW. Stunning in its ignorance.
I don't miss the shrill voice, the finger pointing or gnarled crooked bent finger point, also, too.

As for the "delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets," line, was she referring to Bristol Palin as the new Candie's Foundation for Abstinence ambassador?

incoherent — check
incoherent — check.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Keep your eye on that grifter, like a zombie she'll rise from the dead clamoring for BRAINS!!!
BRAINS!!!

Spatch, Well done. More Shatner, Common People, William Shatner.
posted by alicesshoe at 7:56 AM on July 29, 2009


If we do see President Palin in 2012 I can only hope The Shat becomes the White House Press Secretary.
posted by mazola at 9:28 AM on July 29, 2009


Shatner = Canada's greatest achievement
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:49 AM on July 29, 2009


So there you have it: Sarah Palin could be mentally ill, or she could be a spammer. I say we wait to see if she starts selling herbal viagra before we draw any conclusions

Flagged as fantastic.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:49 PM on July 29, 2009


William Shatner Reads Sarah Palin's Tweets.
posted by ericb at 9:19 AM on July 30, 2009


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