Comments on: Comments on 8366

Post number 8366

ry — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 10:39:45 -0800

Japan corners the market on square fruit. I suppose this is the ultimate example of form over function. Finally a solution for the widespread refrigerator overcrowding problems.

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 10:52:51 -0800

Yeah, but can they do that with a banana? Or make fry-shaped potatoes? THEN we'd be talking 'bout progress.

By: barkingmoose

barkingmoose — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 10:55:26 -0800

Eighty bucks for a watermelon seems a bit steep, but I guess if you've got serious space concerns, frugality takes a back seat. I wonder what might be next — square housepets? Imagine the space you could save if you could grow, say, a kitten in a tempered glass case. I wonder if anyone's ever thought of that.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:03:18 -0800

Whoa, and here I thought it was a made up joke in a Simpsons episode.

By: dong_resin

dong_resin — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:04:22 -0800

Shit like this is why Japan still invokes all my mid-80's, early 90's, William Gibson-Mondo 2000-Neal Stephenson-pre-Negroponte-departure-from-the-back-page-of-Wired-esqe futurism fantasies. Remember when only a small handful of people knew who Paul Van Dyk was? Japan and it's weird square fruit does. Viva la Japan! I just ate two dozen sugar cookies.

By: aaron

aaron — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:24:56 -0800

What's amusing is that everyone is looking upon this as some kind of technological breakthough. This is an ancient technique. It's just that nobody's bothered before, though I'm sure they would have bothered earlier if they'd known they could fool people into paying $80 a pop for it.

By: pnevares

pnevares — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:26:12 -0800

I suppose this is the ultimate example of form over function. Quite the opposite, actually.

By: Kino

Kino — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:30:47 -0800

Actually Davidmsc, the first time i saw anything related to this phenomena was to do with straight bananas. The right-wing conservative tabloids here in England tried to put a spin on some EU trade authority attempt to regulate banana shape as a reason why we should all be anti-Europe. Unfortunately, it was rather effective. Not half as effective as the 'The Great British banger (sausage) is under threat from those barmy Europeans' campaign though.

By: Steven Den Beste

Steven Den Beste — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:33:13 -0800

I wonder what Iron Chef Sakai could do with these.

By: skyline

skyline — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:36:37 -0800

This is an ancient technique. Somewhere in my house we've got a clear mold of Lincoln, intended for growing squash in. It's also great for jello.

By: NortonDC

NortonDC — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:38:58 -0800

Is anyone else having a Bonsai Kitten flashback?

By: barkingmoose

barkingmoose — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 11:50:04 -0800

Is anyone else having a Bonsai Kitten flashback? I'm experiencing déjà vu, that's for sure.

By: darukaru

darukaru — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 13:15:56 -0800

Yeah, but how do they taste? (the watermelons, not the kittens)

By: Max's Daddy

Max's Daddy — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 13:25:39 -0800

Now, I would be the extra price is they would make.... Square Eggs! Does Farm John, have some ancient technique for making the Square Egg, that you can only get if you drive out to his farm?

By: Hackworth

Hackworth — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 13:32:29 -0800

Skyline, you just blew my mind.

By: jjg

jjg — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 14:36:41 -0800

All fruits am square in Bizarro World.

By: john

john — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 14:47:40 -0800

First his brother and now this. Will Gallagher ever maintain a solid grip on all the funny things to do with a watermelon?

By: skallas

skallas — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 16:07:19 -0800

Japan and it's weird square fruit does. Viva la Japan! Now if they can get a feminist movement going, they'd really be in the umm, past.

By: fooljay

fooljay — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 18:30:38 -0800

Square eggs would be an unmitigated failure. The shell needs to be thin in order for little birdies (or turtles or whatever) to break they're way out (or to allow us to make an omeletter without breaking the yolk). The shape of an egg enables the this shell to retain a great deal of it's structural strength to withstand outside pressures. Square eggs would just be a mess...

By: crunchland

crunchland — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:48:45 -0800

Not to mention the fact that it'd piss the hell out of the hens.

By: fooljay

fooljay — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:53:29 -0800

heh. Yeah, never thought about the "hen-user experience" Okay, now I feel dirty...

By: darukaru

darukaru — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:53:43 -0800

Not if they were square hens.

By: holgate

holgate — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:56:58 -0800

And as Kepler pointed out a long time ago, there's actually a certain efficiency in the shape most fruit take. Cubic melons may fit into Japanese fridges, but they won't stack securely on a market stall. (Jamie Oliver keeps his watermelons out of the fridge, but also saturates them with vodka. Now that's a preserving solution that I can go with.)

By: aflakete

aflakete — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 20:18:39 -0800

Instead of another thread, I figured I'd just plant this here, as the official weird fruit story page.
That's right, carbonated fruit. I can say no more.

By: kindall

kindall — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 21:58:12 -0800

Back in the '70s one of the kids at my elementary school had a little plastic gadget for making square eggs. They had to be hardboiled first and shelled, but put 'em in this gadget overnight and you could stack 'em like ice cubes. Remember when only a small handful of people knew who Paul Van Dyk was? Yeah, it was just this morning.

By: dong_resin

dong_resin — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 22:14:10 -0800

Part with a buck, kindall. You'll thank yourself.

By: LeLiLo

LeLiLo — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 22:55:14 -0800

Thanks for the link, aflakete. I love the end of that story, which talks about "baked bean-flavoured peas and Brussels sprouts tasting of bubble gum." O Brave New World, that has such pea pods in it!

By: kindall

kindall — Sat, 16 Jun 2001 23:10:06 -0800

Oh, I've heard of Paul Van Dyk. But 99% of people in this country still don't know who he is.

By: dagnyscott

dagnyscott — Sun, 17 Jun 2001 11:09:45 -0800

Hey, we had a story about square pigs in my German book. This guy had this little piglets and he put them in boxes and fed them lots of food and they got fat and filled up the boxes and there he had these square pigs and he brought them into town and sold them to this circus guy but in a day or so they became round pigs again, or something. I think Crean's decision that the editors of that book were on mescaline was pretty accurate, come to think of it.

By: john

john — Sun, 17 Jun 2001 11:13:05 -0800

Square pigs...where have I seen those before? Oh yeah, Space Truckers.

By: MonkeyMeat

MonkeyMeat — Sun, 17 Jun 2001 12:34:06 -0800

Actually, really expensive melons are nothing new in Japan. Their watermelons happen to be really tasty. They're spherical, and they come in red and yellow, with pretty much the same taste. They also sell gift melons, which might not be limited to just watermelons, but might also be muscats (I can't remember). I don't remember quite how much those cost, but they're at least $40, maybe even $100, depending on the melon.

By: rodii

rodii — Sun, 17 Jun 2001 13:09:59 -0800

I hope no one tried to put the square pigs in round holes.

By: rodii

rodii — Sun, 17 Jun 2001 13:12:20 -0800

By the way, anyone notice that we live in a 3-D world? Those melons are CUBES, not squares.