What, a raw frog?

July 31, 2009 12:37 PM

Friday Frivolity. We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose. A recipe for the infamous Crunchy Frog. No frogs were killed in the making of this recipe. (via Neatorama)
posted by caddis (35 comments total)

Fantastic! I've always thought that dry chow mein noodles would good as bones, but I like the Pop Rocks idea.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:41 PM on July 31, 2009

Yeah, the pop rocks thing is a stroke of genius!
posted by the dief at 12:43 PM on July 31, 2009

I was ready to hate this post and flag it to death. Instead, I laughed. You win... this time.
posted by ardgedee at 12:45 PM on July 31, 2009

How does something get lightly killed? This is second time in as many days that I have heard that phrase used.

Is it just Monty Python?
posted by 517 at 12:46 PM on July 31, 2009

When Hasbro released Chocolate Frog candy as part of their Harry Potter licensing line, I couldn't help but notice that they contained crisped rice as an ingredient. I suspect that someone somewhere in the design process likes their Monty Python.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:47 PM on July 31, 2009

lightly killed

Lightly killed? How can something be lightly killed? I mean, either you're killed or you're not. Kinda like being 'sorta pregnant.'
posted by Afroblanco at 12:50 PM on July 31, 2009

Let me impregnate you softly with my song.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:51 PM on July 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

please sing my life with your words
posted by scrutiny at 12:56 PM on July 31, 2009

Give me a frog and a hammer, and I shall demonstrate "heavily killed." Just be sure to wear a raincoat.

The problem with a heavily killed frog is that it doesn't retain much recognizable frog from, thus making it difficult to coat with chocolate. It'd be more like "vaguely amphibian shape with all of the crunch smashed out of it with a blunt object" chocolate-covered outline. That you pull up with a spatula.

Enjoy!
posted by adipocere at 1:02 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

Waaaat about a waaaafer sin crunchy frog miiisseuuyr? Its only waaaaafer sin!
posted by lalochezia at 1:04 PM on July 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

Boy, you guys sure know how to ruin a joke.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:10 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

You know, the more I watch that YouTube clip, the more I think those two British men aren't even real cops.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:12 PM on July 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

We don't just ruin a joke, we dissect any humor.

Like a frog on a tablet of black dark wax chocolate.
posted by adipocere at 1:12 PM on July 31, 2009

plate of beans frogs
posted by buriednexttoyou at 1:16 PM on July 31, 2009

The joke was only lightly ruined.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:20 PM on July 31, 2009 [4 favorites]

No spring surprise?
posted by Smedleyman at 1:28 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

My hovercraft is full of eels!
posted by pyrex at 1:33 PM on July 31, 2009

OK, I tried to resist commenting in this thread, but I can't. Apologies, then, for an incoming self-link.

Tip: use science kits. They contain plastic frog skeletons. Yes, the plastic is inedible, but who cares? The raw hilarity you can extract from that split-second of discovery will power you for years to come. Maybe decades.

Plus, with science kits, you get organs.

If you're really dedicated, you can sometimes find a kit that includes an intact rubber frog along with the appropriately-sized skeleton -- this means you can build a cast, and can then cast the skeleton inside an anatomically-correct chocolate shell. This is best, because then your recipient thinks they've already discovered the joke ("ha, ha! a chocolate frog!") which disarms them.

Then they find the bones, and the humor goes nova.
posted by aramaic at 1:40 PM on July 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

[grabbing constable's helmet] BRAAArarrraffffaraffggglaaaagh

Actually, it looks ok, despite my aversion to gummi candy.
posted by not_on_display at 1:41 PM on July 31, 2009

I'm tempted to make these and plant them in a box of Turtles.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:04 PM on July 31, 2009

"Analyzing a joke is like dissecting a frog, no one is very interested and the frog dies of it is lightly killed."
posted by anazgnos at 2:34 PM on July 31, 2009

adipocere: heavily killed

EEEWWWW! Not the picture I wanted in my mind this afternoon.
posted by garnetgirl at 2:53 PM on July 31, 2009

Waaaat about a waaaafer sin crunchy frog miiisseuuyr? Its only waaaaafer sin!

"Garçon, a bucket for monsieur."
posted by ericb at 3:00 PM on July 31, 2009

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore: The Frog and Peach
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:26 PM on July 31, 2009

Hm. I'd like to try that. And I still have some Ghirardelli chocolate left from making that ginormous meetup cake (only used 36 of the 48 ounces!).

If only I could ever find pop rocks.
I think my recipe would involve hypodermic needles. Mm.
posted by zennie at 4:03 PM on July 31, 2009

ALBATROSS!
posted by banshee at 4:07 PM on July 31, 2009

Boy, you guys sure know how to ruin a joke.

Ya! Beigerhund das oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
posted by DU at 4:45 PM on July 31, 2009

Lightly killed? How can something be lightly killed? I mean, either you're killed or you're not. Kinda like being 'sorta pregnant.'

There was this one time.... It turned out it was just gas.
posted by Dark Messiah at 4:46 PM on July 31, 2009

When Hasbro released Chocolate Frog candy as part of their Harry Potter licensing line, I couldn't help but notice that they contained crisped rice as an ingredient. I suspect that someone somewhere in the design process likes their Monty Python.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:47 PM on July 31

I think it's Rowling herself who's the Python fan, seeing as cockroach clusters, mentioned in the same sketch, are also brought up in the books a few times.

(And apparently Hasbro also made and sold an edible version of them as well. Yay?)

Can't wait to try this recipe.
posted by kosher_jenny at 5:37 PM on July 31, 2009

It's all fun and games until you realize that chocolate crickets are pretty easy to find.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 6:20 PM on July 31, 2009

I have had those, but they lack that really hard crunch provided by a true crunchy frog. Good fresh ones still have a pretty nice crunch though.
posted by caddis at 6:46 PM on July 31, 2009

GAAH NOBODY EXPECTS THE EX-PARROT MINISTRY OF SILLY HOW NOT TO BE SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
posted by JHarris at 7:45 PM on July 31, 2009

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.
posted by rhythim at 5:54 PM on August 1, 2009

Complete Monty Python episode scripts here.
posted by Chrysostom at 5:59 PM on August 5, 2009

got that covered..... :)

but that is one of those really cool sites on the internets that just keeps giving.
posted by caddis at 12:08 AM on August 6, 2009