Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator
August 5, 2009 2:14 PM Subscribe
Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator (Birther approved!)
TODAY WE ARE ALL KENYAN.
posted by jquinby at 2:23 PM on August 5, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 2:23 PM on August 5, 2009 [8 favorites]
At long last, the evidence mathowie wanted to hide from the world.
posted by cortex at 2:24 PM on August 5, 2009 [15 favorites]
posted by cortex at 2:24 PM on August 5, 2009 [15 favorites]
Somehow I knew this would turn up within a few days. What is really needed is a "fake" criminal record from Ms Orly
posted by edgeways at 2:32 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by edgeways at 2:32 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
I think this establishes my Metafilter citizenship rather well, no?
posted by Avenger at 2:35 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by Avenger at 2:35 PM on August 5, 2009
Also, there seems to be no sign that birthers are treating the current "certificate" as being fake. If anything, they seem to have latched onto it as the smoking gun in their campaign.
posted by Avenger at 2:40 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by Avenger at 2:40 PM on August 5, 2009
So, a Birther is a type of sexual deviant that coat themselves in some sort of clear goo and fake blood, right?
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 2:52 PM on August 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 2:52 PM on August 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
Also, there seems to be no sign that birthers are treating the current "certificate" as being fake.
The 'leadership' of the 'Birther' movement knows it's a Big Lie. They're the same people who have, to various degrees of success, sold other Big Lies to the American People for many years. Doing in politics what Bernie Madoff did in finance. Not crazy, not stupid (although their followers are), just bad people.
posted by wendell at 2:53 PM on August 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
The 'leadership' of the 'Birther' movement knows it's a Big Lie. They're the same people who have, to various degrees of success, sold other Big Lies to the American People for many years. Doing in politics what Bernie Madoff did in finance. Not crazy, not stupid (although their followers are), just bad people.
posted by wendell at 2:53 PM on August 5, 2009 [6 favorites]
Also, there seems to be no sign that birthers are treating the current "certificate" as being fake. If anything, they seem to have latched onto it as the smoking gun in their campaign.
From what I can tell there's a schism in the birfer movement because of this document. On one side you have the acolytes of O'rly? Taitz that believe the document is genuine and the "so-called Australian" chap that posted his document to a website years ago is actually in on the conspiracy. On the other side are the birfers who think the document is fake (quelle surprise!) and that their movement is harmed by people holding up such an obvious forgery.
I'm hoping to see a 95 Theses moment where O'rly? Tatiz nails her masterwork to the doors of her home, declares victory, and demands Obama resign in the face of such irrefutable evidence. Then we can watch the Reformist Birfers, Southern Birfers, Taitzans, and Opus Birf all duke it out on who has the One True Story behind the birth of Barry Soetoro.
Maybe I should do a Venn diagram of birfers and PUMAs...
posted by ryoshu at 2:54 PM on August 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
From what I can tell there's a schism in the birfer movement because of this document. On one side you have the acolytes of O'rly? Taitz that believe the document is genuine and the "so-called Australian" chap that posted his document to a website years ago is actually in on the conspiracy. On the other side are the birfers who think the document is fake (quelle surprise!) and that their movement is harmed by people holding up such an obvious forgery.
I'm hoping to see a 95 Theses moment where O'rly? Tatiz nails her masterwork to the doors of her home, declares victory, and demands Obama resign in the face of such irrefutable evidence. Then we can watch the Reformist Birfers, Southern Birfers, Taitzans, and Opus Birf all duke it out on who has the One True Story behind the birth of Barry Soetoro.
Maybe I should do a Venn diagram of birfers and PUMAs...
posted by ryoshu at 2:54 PM on August 5, 2009 [11 favorites]
What is really needed is a "fake" criminal record from Ms Orly.
Who needs a "fake"? If anyone in the "Liberal Media" wanted to go to the trouble, they'll find plenty of criminality in her background, just like has been found in Sarah Palin's, but like Sarah, denials and claims of victimhood will make them go away.
posted by wendell at 2:57 PM on August 5, 2009
Who needs a "fake"? If anyone in the "Liberal Media" wanted to go to the trouble, they'll find plenty of criminality in her background, just like has been found in Sarah Palin's, but like Sarah, denials and claims of victimhood will make them go away.
posted by wendell at 2:57 PM on August 5, 2009
The 'leadership' of the 'Birther' movement knows it's a Big Lie.
It's not just the leadership. I'd venture to guess that most people willing to openly claim that Obama wasn't born in the USA are lying. They just think that lying about it makes them part of the "game" by imitating the behavior of the "leadership."
posted by deanc at 3:06 PM on August 5, 2009
It's not just the leadership. I'd venture to guess that most people willing to openly claim that Obama wasn't born in the USA are lying. They just think that lying about it makes them part of the "game" by imitating the behavior of the "leadership."
posted by deanc at 3:06 PM on August 5, 2009
I will use this to convince my little sister, once and for all, that she was adopted. And Kenyan.
posted by fontophilic at 3:14 PM on August 5, 2009 [17 favorites]
posted by fontophilic at 3:14 PM on August 5, 2009 [17 favorites]
Um, I just "generated" one of these for my husband, who then questioned whether there is any possibility that his mom's real maiden name (which I typed in) could be captured as security data linked with his name. Is this something I should be concerned about?
posted by memewit at 3:22 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by memewit at 3:22 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
hi memewit,
as the person who built the site, i can assure you that none of the data is saved. the rendered image, however, is cached on the server. the only way anyone can see it is if they know the 32 character md5 hash in the url. the odds of someone stumbling upon that without you giving it to them are essentially nil, but if you are worried about it send me a message on here and i can delete the image from the server for you!
posted by subclub at 3:35 PM on August 5, 2009 [18 favorites]
as the person who built the site, i can assure you that none of the data is saved. the rendered image, however, is cached on the server. the only way anyone can see it is if they know the 32 character md5 hash in the url. the odds of someone stumbling upon that without you giving it to them are essentially nil, but if you are worried about it send me a message on here and i can delete the image from the server for you!
posted by subclub at 3:35 PM on August 5, 2009 [18 favorites]
ColdChef: "Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator"
Don't you mean Kenyan Birth Certification Generator???
Also, worth a repost: B-ROCK "THE ISLAMIC SHOCK" HUSSEIN SUPERALLAH OBAMA
posted by Rhaomi at 3:37 PM on August 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
Don't you mean Kenyan Birth Certification Generator???
Also, worth a repost: B-ROCK "THE ISLAMIC SHOCK" HUSSEIN SUPERALLAH OBAMA
posted by Rhaomi at 3:37 PM on August 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
memewit, would it be possible to have some of the field autofilled?
posted by bigmusic at 3:50 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by bigmusic at 3:50 PM on August 5, 2009
>ಠ_ಠ
I keep seeing this, and the funny thing is that the letters are from my native tongue, Kannada, and I keep reading it as Ta. Ta.
posted by dhruva at 3:51 PM on August 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
I keep seeing this, and the funny thing is that the letters are from my native tongue, Kannada, and I keep reading it as Ta. Ta.
posted by dhruva at 3:51 PM on August 5, 2009 [5 favorites]
er subclub, would it be possible to have some of the field autofilled?
posted by bigmusic at 4:01 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by bigmusic at 4:01 PM on August 5, 2009
Also, there seems to be no sign that birthers are treating the current "certificate" as being fake. If anything, they seem to have latched onto it as the smoking gun in their campaign.
The right wing ideology is a collection of views and values which do not stand on their own merits nor do they resist reflective reasoning. Thus, right-wingers require a constant influx of self-affirming information, regardless of its accuracy. (Recall that their medium of choice, talk radio, is nothing but a one-way, authoritarian conduit for Right wing propaganda.) In other words, completely fabricated information is just as useful to them as the truth, so long as it conforms to their preconceived notions about the way the world works.
Fake birth certificates, even once they are proven as fake, are acceptable to the Right because they help reinforce what they already "know" - that somewhere out there there is a paper trail that shows that Obama is an illegitimate president who is actively trying to deceive the world.
I just hope this thing fizzles out before one of these crazies tries to assassinate our popularly elected president.
posted by wfrgms at 4:06 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]
The right wing ideology is a collection of views and values which do not stand on their own merits nor do they resist reflective reasoning. Thus, right-wingers require a constant influx of self-affirming information, regardless of its accuracy. (Recall that their medium of choice, talk radio, is nothing but a one-way, authoritarian conduit for Right wing propaganda.) In other words, completely fabricated information is just as useful to them as the truth, so long as it conforms to their preconceived notions about the way the world works.
Fake birth certificates, even once they are proven as fake, are acceptable to the Right because they help reinforce what they already "know" - that somewhere out there there is a paper trail that shows that Obama is an illegitimate president who is actively trying to deceive the world.
I just hope this thing fizzles out before one of these crazies tries to assassinate our popularly elected president.
posted by wfrgms at 4:06 PM on August 5, 2009 [4 favorites]
Meh.
The last guy was not legit due to voter fraud.
Same with the guy before.
And odds are, so would be claims of some going back to John Hanson.
And many of the guys before them did signing statements/executive orders - thus making them not legit per various people.
Frankly - just following the law/Constitution would be a welcome change I could find refreshing.
posted by rough ashlar at 4:09 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
The last guy was not legit due to voter fraud.
Same with the guy before.
And odds are, so would be claims of some going back to John Hanson.
And many of the guys before them did signing statements/executive orders - thus making them not legit per various people.
Frankly - just following the law/Constitution would be a welcome change I could find refreshing.
posted by rough ashlar at 4:09 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
FIRST OF ALL LET ME ANSWER THE QUESTION IT DOESN'T SHOW THE NAME OF THE DOCTOR OR THE NAME OF THE HOSPITAL ANYBODY COULD JUST CALL THE NEWSPAPERS IN HONOLULU AND SAY THAT THEY HAD A KID BORN THAT DAY A RELATIVE A GRANDMOTHER A COUSIN ANYBODY AND THE NEWSPAPER WOULD JUST PRINT THAT WHY ARE YOU ONLY RELEASING THIS CERTIFICATION OF LIFE BIRTH AND NOT THE ACTUAL -- LET ME TALK HERE-- LIVE BIRTH CERTIFICATE YOU KNOW -- I AM ANSWERING THE QUESTION-- THE TWO ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT THNGS ANYONE CAN JUST CALL THE HAWAII HEALTH DEPARTMENT AND SAY MY COUSIN HAD A BABY IN HER THACH ROOF HUT AN THEY WOULD ISSUE THIS FORM IN THE MAIL AND THE NEWSPAPERS WOULD AUTOMATICALLY PRINT THIS ANYONE WHO WANTED TO SURREPTICIOUSLY INSTALL A KENYAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THE PURPOSE OF TAKING OVER AMERICA WITH THE COMMUNISM KNOWS -- LET ME TALK HERE NOT LIKE CNN -- ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST HAVE A BABY IN KENYA THEN FOLLOW THESE SIMPLE STEPS TO FORGE THAT BABYS AMARICAN CITIZENSHIP THEN WHEN HES 35 HE RUNS FOR PRESIDENT THEN BLAMMO YOUVE GOT CONTROL OF THE WHATE HOUSE JUST LIKE THAT AND THE SOCIALIST AGENDA IS LAUNHING THE MISSLES FROM THE BLACK HELICOPTERS THAT WILL NUTRALIZE ALL YOURE GUNS YOU FOOLS CANT YOU PEOPLE SEE WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE AAUUGGHH!!
*POP*
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:24 PM on August 5, 2009 [17 favorites]
*POP*
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:24 PM on August 5, 2009 [17 favorites]
as the person who built the site,
Is that true? Because I think some sort of gratuity is in order. I'm just sayin'.
posted by ColdChef at 4:52 PM on August 5, 2009
Is that true? Because I think some sort of gratuity is in order. I'm just sayin'.
posted by ColdChef at 4:52 PM on August 5, 2009
It shouldn't be too hard to get to the truth of the matter here. Let's see ... the fellow with the real birth certificate came from Australia, and as everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, so we can clearly not believe the birth certificate front of him. But in order know enough to post a fake birth certificate on the web two years prior to any possibility of needing it, he must have studied, and in studying he must have learned that man is mortal, so he would have put the fake birth certificate as far from himself as possible, so we can clearly not choose the birth certificate in front of us ...
posted by kyrademon at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2009 [24 favorites]
posted by kyrademon at 4:56 PM on August 5, 2009 [24 favorites]
O'rly? Tatiz nails her masterwork to the doors of her home
Surely she nails her theses to the front of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, no?
I laughed out loud (fo' reals!) at "Opus Birf."
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 5:02 PM on August 5, 2009
Surely she nails her theses to the front of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, no?
I laughed out loud (fo' reals!) at "Opus Birf."
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 5:02 PM on August 5, 2009
bigmusic: i thought about it but i figured most people are just putting in bogus info, and anyone who has strong privacy concerns would skip that field anyway. it would be weird if you filled out all the fields but the maiden name was something we randomly stuck in.
ColdChef: it's true but i'm not the brains of the operation, just the tech side of the team. your post is gratuity enough!
this project was thrown together in a matter of hours, i'm glad people are enjoying it. more than anything i'm glad the site is still alive considering the traffic!
posted by subclub at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2009
ColdChef: it's true but i'm not the brains of the operation, just the tech side of the team. your post is gratuity enough!
this project was thrown together in a matter of hours, i'm glad people are enjoying it. more than anything i'm glad the site is still alive considering the traffic!
posted by subclub at 5:12 PM on August 5, 2009
"Fake birth certificates, even once they are proven as fake, are acceptable to the Right because they help reinforce what they already "know" - that somewhere out there there is a paper trail that shows that Obama is an illegitimate president who is actively trying to deceive the world."
But there really are legitimate questions about Bush's service record.
posted by klangklangston at 5:14 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
But there really are legitimate questions about Bush's service record.
posted by klangklangston at 5:14 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
I was going to suggest adding Pentecostalism to the pantheon of Birther schisms, but they are known for speaking in tongues, and frankly that is not much different than Orthodox Birthism. In 40 years will Tatiz end up wearing funny hats and be referred to the Matriarch? Or, is that reserved for Eastern Birthism?
posted by edgeways at 5:30 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by edgeways at 5:30 PM on August 5, 2009
My theory: Obama is not actually Kenyan, his parents just drank powerthirst.
posted by madmethods at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by madmethods at 6:04 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
What do the birthers want? If they impeach Obama, Biden is president. I didn't think they liked Joe that much. Did they just not think it out? It seriously mystifies me.
1. Find birth certificate.
2. Impeach president.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!
had to go to ED to remember how to do this right...
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:38 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
1. Find birth certificate.
2. Impeach president.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!
had to go to ED to remember how to do this right...
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:38 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
At long last, the evidence mathowie wanted to hide from the world. (cortex)
The informant was G.F. Levender? THIS IS A FAKE. Everyone knows it was G.J. Charlet (and not just any ol' G.J. Charlet, neither: it was G.J. Charlet the third.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:44 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
The informant was G.F. Levender? THIS IS A FAKE. Everyone knows it was G.J. Charlet (and not just any ol' G.J. Charlet, neither: it was G.J. Charlet the third.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:44 PM on August 5, 2009 [1 favorite]
It shouldn't be too hard to get to the truth of the matter here. Let's see ... the fellow with the real birth certificate came from Australia, and as everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, so we can clearly not believe the birth certificate front of him. But in order know enough to post a fake birth certificate on the web two years prior to any possibility of needing it, he must have studied, and in studying he must have learned that man is mortal, so he would have put the fake birth certificate as far from himself as possible, so we can clearly not choose the birth certificate in front of us ...
Never get into a land war in Asia.
posted by rhythim at 7:49 PM on August 5, 2009
Never get into a land war in Asia.
posted by rhythim at 7:49 PM on August 5, 2009
Screw the Kenyan angle--this proves that B. Hussein Obama is the anti-christ, which is really, really bad no matter where he claims that he was born!
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:03 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:03 PM on August 5, 2009
I'm glad that the birthers are spewing their shit all over the place and that most elected Republicans are humoring them. It discredits the GOP in the eyes of the moderates, independents and minorities that make up the swing vote.
posted by stavrogin at 8:33 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by stavrogin at 8:33 PM on August 5, 2009 [2 favorites]
Stumbled on this on Youtube - the real origin of Obama and Michelle and their children...and...I would say what it is but it's got to be possibly the oddest thing I've seen on YT and I can't quite bear to type it, anyhew, skip ahead to the 2-minute mark for the weirdness: Obama's Space War from the Freeman Perspective - Pt. 7/7
posted by jettloe at 8:39 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by jettloe at 8:39 PM on August 5, 2009
Hey dhurva, if you really speak Kannadian as you say you do, please be prove it and type in the 3 main ingredients of poutine in your (our) native writing. If you fail to do this, you can never be prime minister.
posted by sleslie at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by sleslie at 9:24 PM on August 5, 2009
Subclub - thanks for the assurances (regarding cached data), and your offer to expunge. I'm sure it's not neccessary. Love your site's concept!
posted by memewit at 9:37 PM on August 5, 2009
posted by memewit at 9:37 PM on August 5, 2009
Could we also have an auto-generated press release from the Clerk's office there saying that 'they had reviewed the original document on file and that it is in fact genuine'?
posted by spacely_sprocket at 1:58 AM on August 6, 2009
posted by spacely_sprocket at 1:58 AM on August 6, 2009
What do the birthers want? If they impeach Obama, Biden is president. I didn't think they liked Joe that much. Did they just not think it out? It seriously mystifies me.
Ummm. Let me seee. Oh. I've got it. Think skin color.
posted by notreally at 4:42 AM on August 6, 2009
Ummm. Let me seee. Oh. I've got it. Think skin color.
posted by notreally at 4:42 AM on August 6, 2009
What do the birthers want? If they impeach Obama, Biden is president. I didn't think they liked Joe that much.
He's not black, though. Also, birthers are useful to the rest of the conservatives because it shifts the Overton Window. "You on the left think gays are people too, but there are some on the right who believe Obama is an alien mind control master hellbent on Islamification. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle."
posted by DU at 4:43 AM on August 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
He's not black, though. Also, birthers are useful to the rest of the conservatives because it shifts the Overton Window. "You on the left think gays are people too, but there are some on the right who believe Obama is an alien mind control master hellbent on Islamification. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle."
posted by DU at 4:43 AM on August 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
Shock! Horror! Mark Sanford was born in Mombasa!
posted by octobersurprise at 6:14 AM on August 6, 2009
posted by octobersurprise at 6:14 AM on August 6, 2009
*hugs the internet*
I love you so much!
(and thanks, subclub. This really is why I love the internet. This, and Time Cube guy.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 AM on August 6, 2009
I love you so much!
(and thanks, subclub. This really is why I love the internet. This, and Time Cube guy.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 AM on August 6, 2009
I don't need a fake Kenyan birth certificate to prove I'm not American. According to Lou Dobbs, the Certificate of Live Birth I got from the State of Michigan is enough.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 7:35 AM on August 6, 2009
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 7:35 AM on August 6, 2009
> Oh, John...
There's a serious legal debate about whether John McCain was eligible to be president.
posted by miyabo at 7:38 AM on August 6, 2009
There's a serious legal debate about whether John McCain was eligible to be president.
posted by miyabo at 7:38 AM on August 6, 2009
But who among us would have made a big deal out of McCain's ineligibility had he actually won the election? With the threat of Sarah Palin taking office, I don't care if it came out that McCain was born in Afghanistan--we'd be stapling his wrinkly old ass to a chair in the Oval Office to make sure he didn't leave the White House.
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:29 AM on August 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:29 AM on August 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
jettloe, thank you for pointing me at that Obama origin theory. I needed a laugh this morning, and that was it.
posted by immlass at 8:55 AM on August 6, 2009
posted by immlass at 8:55 AM on August 6, 2009
Re: Obama being a clone of a space Egyptian: If he was cloned in 1985, that means he is under 35. That means he's not even a grown-up, according to the constitution!
Also, if his wife was cloned from the same bloodline, I think their marriage is illegitimate under several Illinois laws...
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:27 AM on August 6, 2009
Also, if his wife was cloned from the same bloodline, I think their marriage is illegitimate under several Illinois laws...
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:27 AM on August 6, 2009
I suspect the endgame for Birthers is that this would be a scandal that would, eventually, result in a change of government. The Veep would be a sitting duck, or implicated as an accomplice. Political opinion would force a shift in the House and Senate similar to the June 8 Coup in the New York Senate. Of course, these are also members of a fringe who believe they are a few steps away from changing the politics of government by starting a second civil war.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:32 AM on August 6, 2009
posted by KirkJobSluder at 10:32 AM on August 6, 2009
Yes, the Birthers don't want Joe Biden to be president. They want a full "do over" -- a new election (which some of them seem to think the Supreme Court can order, but it can't), a popular uprising, or a military coup (because soldiers only have to obey real presidents).
These all seem like good ideas to them because they are, after all, insane.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 11:18 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
These all seem like good ideas to them because they are, after all, insane.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 11:18 AM on August 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
jettloe: Obama's Space War from the Freeman Perspective
I'm frankly astonished at how disappointed I am that this had nothing to do with Half-Life.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:05 PM on August 6, 2009
I'm frankly astonished at how disappointed I am that this had nothing to do with Half-Life.
posted by Pronoiac at 3:05 PM on August 6, 2009
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posted by ryoshu at 2:21 PM on August 5, 2009 [3 favorites]