Automatic Pancakes

August 6, 2009 11:22 PM

Good Morning, New pancakes.And that should about do it. $3500 will get you your very own pancake machine. 200 pancakes/hour in fact.
posted by rschroed (59 comments total)

What a great idea for a breakfast meetup.
posted by Cranberry at 11:26 PM on August 6

For $3500, you could pay someone $9.50/hr to come to your house and make pancakes every day for an entire year.
posted by delmoi at 11:28 PM on August 6 [2 favorites]

This is almost PepsiBlue, but oh wow, I would love to see one of these things malfunction, flinging pancakes in all directions.
posted by embrangled at 11:31 PM on August 6 [4 favorites]

Is it just me? I'm thinking hoax -- albeit the pick-up from the (mostly tech) press?
posted by ericb at 11:35 PM on August 6

200 pancakes/hour 24,000 calories per hour
posted by crapmatic at 11:41 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

Pancake machines have been selling like hotcakes.
posted by twoleftfeet at 11:42 PM on August 6 [7 favorites]

But where is the machine that makes pancake machines?
posted by blenderfish at 11:45 PM on August 6 [3 favorites]

Only 165 Calories Per Two Pancake Serving

Hahahaha, two pancake serving, that's a good one.
posted by Nomiconic at 11:46 PM on August 6 [6 favorites]

press release fail:

Pancakes, a timeless comfort food popular among all ages, is now fast and far more convenient as a result of the ChefStack automatic pancake machine.

pitchengine, indeed
posted by ofthestrait at 11:46 PM on August 6

Upcoming Events -- National Association of Convenience Store Retailers -- October 20-23, 2009.

Um, yeah?

Wikipedia (June 16, 2009): National Association of Convenience Stores -- "NACS is an international trade association representing the convenience and petroleum retailing industry."
posted by ericb at 11:51 PM on August 6

Oh, so FAKE!
posted by ericb at 11:54 PM on August 6

Not bad. However, I am already a PANCAKE MACHINE. And your machine has no pancake disposal setting.
posted by smoke at 11:59 PM on August 6 [1 favorite]

The footer (as if to indicate the web developer): © 2009 Blue Ridge, LLC. All rights reserved.

To where does such resolve upon "clicking?" ChefStack, of course.

Oh, so FAKE!
posted by ericb at 12:01 AM on August 7

called the number and the phone message seemed legit.
posted by ofthestrait at 12:03 AM on August 7

I need to see a video of it. Preferably with a clear or removed exterior. In fact, without a window to show the action happening, it loses that "breakfast Rube Goldberg machine" magic that every human feels innately drawn to. Without it, it's (probably) just another crummy corporate pancake, and you may as well just go to McDonald's.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:04 AM on August 7

i'm gonna vote 'REAL' on this one...if it was just a photoshop job, the pancakes would look 100% normal...these a little weird around the edges and have a higher thickness to diameter ratio than most pancakes i've seen.

also...back it up to my pie-hole. syrup drip, stat!
posted by sexyrobot at 12:12 AM on August 7

that "breakfast Rube Goldberg machine" magic that every human feels innately drawn to

That's heavy.
posted by roystgnr at 12:16 AM on August 7

called the number and the phone message seemed legit.

Yes ... I concur that it might be legit. I'd welcome more verification.
posted by ericb at 12:17 AM on August 7

"Not doing that again, that burned"
posted by bottlebrushtree at 12:32 AM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Leggo My Eggo.
posted by wendell at 12:33 AM on August 7

After you die you make crumpets with a machine 01;55
posted by hortense at 12:37 AM on August 7

Yes ... I concur that it might be legit. I'd welcome more verification.

From press/web coverage I guess it's REAL.
posted by ericb at 12:42 AM on August 7

infinite possibilities
posted by johnny novak at 12:43 AM on August 7

"How've sales been?"

"Flat"
posted by 7segment at 12:46 AM on August 7 [5 favorites]

I enjoy imagining this in zero gravity, propelling itself across the room, with the power of pancakes.
posted by aubilenon at 12:56 AM on August 7 [9 favorites]

...but a testimonial from 'John Doe', owner of Corner Coffee Company? Hmm.
posted by popsciolist at 1:28 AM on August 7

I like 'em with my taters.
posted by bardic at 1:50 AM on August 7 [1 favorite]

The new PancakeMax 4000™ brings high rates of fire, rapid reloading and high reliability to the table for all your close-quarter snack-customer suppression needs. Combined with fire support from the new BranHammer™ GX-370 to provide long-distance heavy artillery coverage with a selection of High-Density BranMuffin, High Explosive BerryMuffin, Incendiary CheeseMufin, Anti-Personnel NutMuffin and Armor-Piercing BananaMuffin rounds, you can lay the smack down on the most unsatisfiable of patrons.

(now I just need a plausible name for a baked-goods based arms manufacturer)
posted by nonspecialist at 1:51 AM on August 7 [4 favorites]

Okay, next time my boss asks me what I think my company can do for me, I'll know what to answer.

GIVE ME PANCAKES
posted by litleozy at 2:52 AM on August 7

Pancakes suck. Even the best pancakes in town are too doughy for first thing in the morning - it's like waking up & eating a plateful of Xanax covered in syrup.* That being said, lemon/lime pear pancakes are the best. Make your batter the way you normally would except use an extra egg & milk to make 'em nice and thin. The thinner, the less doughy your cakes are. Chop your pears (bosc!) nice and fine & add to the batter along with the zest and juice from one lemon and one lime. Use agave nectar instead of maple syrup. Cook. Enjoy. Thank me.

*While those were fun times, I'm happy they're in my past.
posted by Item at 3:30 AM on August 7 [4 favorites]

When I'm in the mood for international cuisine I go to the International House of Pancakes (IHOP, to me and my friends.) All manner of international delights can be found there, including maple, butter pecan, blueberry, and strawberry. It's like circumnavigating the globe with a pancake in your mouth!
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:42 AM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Yes ... I concur that it might be legit. I'd welcome more verification.

I love Metafilter's default level of cynicism as much as the next MeFite, but I'm afraid these things are real. Here's one in operation.

So, how long do you think it'll take before someone weaponises them?
posted by embrangled at 4:05 AM on August 7

200 pancakes an hour? How will the bunnies ever keep up?
posted by maudlin at 4:43 AM on August 7 [3 favorites]

I can't help but take the phrase "200 pancakes an hour" as a personal challenge.
posted by Shohn at 4:47 AM on August 7 [4 favorites]

How does it hold up in benchmark tests against the Belshaw Donut Robot Model 42?
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:57 AM on August 7

"You can't have cake for breakfast -- unless it's a pancake. How'd that slide through? "Young man, you're not having cake for breakfast, you're having fried cake, with syrup for breakfast!" Load up on that and try not to nap.."

Jim Gaffigan on cake.
posted by Comrade_robot at 5:20 AM on August 7

John Henry, when he was a baby
Sittin' on his mamma's knee.
Picked up a spat'la in his little right hand
Said, "Skillet be the death of me, me,me.
Skillet gonna be the death of me."

Some say, he was born in Texas.
Some say he's born up in Maine.
I just say he was a Louisiana man
and leader of a pancake-flippin' gang, gang, gang.
Leader of a pancake-flippin' gang.

Well the boss-man, he said to John Henry
"Gonna bring my pancake ma-chine round.
Bring my pancake 'chine out next to the stove.
It's gonna spit those pancakes by the pound, pound, pound.
Spit out those pancakes by the pound."

And John Henry, he said to the boss-man
"You can bring your cake machine around.
You can set it next to me.
And I'll beat your machine by ten pounds, ten pounds.
I'll beat your machine by ten pounds."

Then John Henry, he said to the people
"A man ain't nothin' but a man.
Before I let that pancake machine beat me down.
I'd die with a spatch'la in my hand, hand, hand.
And I'll die with a spatch'la in my hand.

John Henry, he had himself a woman.
Her name was Polly Anne.
When John Henry took sick; laid up in bed
She can flip those hotcakes, yes she can, can, can.
She'll still flip those pancakes cuz' she can.

Well they took him, down to the graveyard.
Where they laid him down in the sand
And when every drunk diner goes a-walkin' by
They hollar there lies the pancake-flippin' man, man, man.
There lies the pancake-flippin' man.
posted by Pants! at 6:31 AM on August 7 [7 favorites]

>There's one button, labeled OK. When you press it, two hot fluffy pancakes come out.

It's like some kind of beautiful dream. I love that the button reads "OK" instead of "go" or "pancake".

It's as if the machine has asked you "would you like some pancakes" and you only have to respond "OK"
posted by device55 at 6:35 AM on August 7 [9 favorites]

I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the Batter Blaster. Probably worse. Pancakes are one of the foods that, if you're not going to do it right, you should just eat something else.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:15 AM on August 7

Pancake machine....feh...I want a Panache machine...
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:54 AM on August 7

Pfft, man beats machine by a long shot. "60 minutes later, there we were... 956 pancakes served and flipped." Of course, he was going for sheer numbers, but 200's a piece of ... pancake? Sorry.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:09 AM on August 7

I will just say that the buttermilk pancakes from the Joy of Cooking are... well.... they should have sent a poet.
posted by jon_kill at 8:10 AM on August 7 [3 favorites]

I would gladly provide personal pancakes for a low wage, as long as I was paid in pancakes with real maple syrup, and apple sauce. Butter is right out. Fresh orange juice would be a nice bonus.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:14 AM on August 7

Nate the Great is gonna love this.
posted by turducken at 8:23 AM on August 7

I'm not all that impressed- in fact, I'd be surprised if McDonalds doesn't allready use something like this to extrude their pancakes. Basic pancakes are pretty simple to make after all. Mix the batter, plop it onto a heating surface, flip, toss onto plate. Its something perfectly suited to be done by a machine or high-school dropout.

Now, if there was a WAFFLE maker...one that makes proper fluffy waffles, the ones that involve separating the eggs and beating the egg whites into peaks before they are gently folded into the batter...now THAT would be impressive enough to shell thousands of dollars out for.
posted by happyroach at 8:24 AM on August 7

Waffle secret: these are the best waffles on the planet, unless you've got a real sourdough starter. The overnight-soured yeast batter gives them amazing flavor.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:30 AM on August 7 [2 favorites]

I can't help but take the phrase "200 pancakes an hour" as a personal challenge.

Me too. A griddle on each of my stove's 4 burners, 5 cakes a griddle (these machine-made cakes look small), whip up a batch of batter on the ready ... that's a batch of 20 every 6 minutes. Tough.

I'm not sure if this is better or worse than the Batter Blaster.

One of my friends is involved. They set the Guinness world record earlier this year. I'm still not sure I trust it, but it's a great idea.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:45 AM on August 7

I can't help but think of the Homer Price story about the automatic donut maker that wouldn't stop.
posted by nomisxid at 8:54 AM on August 7

bardic: I like 'em with my taters.

What's taters, eh?
posted by jock@law at 10:36 AM on August 7

nomisxid, that's the first thing I thought of. These fools are doomed to repeat history. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:40 AM on August 7

device55: It's as if the machine has asked you "would you like some pancakes" and you only have to respond "OK"

It's very comforting. One of my favorite things about Wisconsin is that non-exclusive left turn lanes say "OK" instead of "ONLY"
posted by jock@law at 10:41 AM on August 7 [1 favorite]

I believe the Foot Clan had an early version of this on tank treads and used it to (unsuccessfully) assault New York City, back in the late eighties.
posted by ignignokt at 10:49 AM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Yeah, we had a competitor's product, the Popcake in our cafeteria for a while. It disappeared before I could try it, much to my dismay.
posted by curse at 1:03 PM on August 7

I am superior to the pancake machine.

I am a meat machine.
posted by sonic meat machine at 3:44 PM on August 7 [1 favorite]

Negative, I am a meat popsicle
posted by jkaczor at 7:51 PM on August 7

TUBBY TOAST
posted by AaronRaphael at 9:22 PM on August 7

It's no Funcooker.
posted by trondant at 12:06 PM on August 8

AaronRaphael, Tubby Toast is exactly what I thought of, too.
posted by not that girl at 10:09 PM on August 8 [1 favorite]

Even the best pancakes in town are too doughy for first thing in the morning - it's like waking up & eating a plateful of Xanax covered in syrup.

You say that like it's a bad thing.
posted by deborah at 11:09 AM on August 13