The Ballad of G.I. Joe

August 11, 2009 7:45 AM

If you loved the 80's cartoon and toys, you owe it to yourself to see a true rendering of the Joes as re remember them with an all-star cast: The Ballad of G.I. Joe (SLFunnyorDie). With Julianne Moore as Scarlett and Billy Crudup as Zartan.

Also Starring:
Laz Alonso as Doc
Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
Zach Galifiankais as Snow Job
Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
Vinnie Jones as Destro
Joey Kern as Tomax & Xamot
Chuck Liddell as Gung Ho
Henry Rollins as Duke
Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
Olivia Wilde as The Baroness
and Sgt. Slaughter as Himself

Previous G.I. Joe on the blue: "That Was Way Too Close!"; G.I. Joe Resolute; G.I. Joe PSAs.

posted by jabberjaw (29 comments total)

Knowing how much this sucks is half the battle.
posted by ColdChef at 8:02 AM on August 11

This is the FoD link you should have posted.
posted by The Whelk at 8:04 AM on August 11

(I posted my smart ass comment before I even watched it. Pretty funny.)
posted by ColdChef at 8:07 AM on August 11

It's sort of sad that a parody can get a dream cast while the blockbuster is a who's-who of who's-that?
posted by Bookhouse at 8:12 AM on August 11 [3 favorites has favorites]

Knowing how much this sucks is half the battle.

My favorite piece of fallout from the G.I. Joe movie was learning that people have been saying, "and knowing is half the battle!" to Larry Hama for two decades and he just last week figured out why.
posted by COBRA! at 8:13 AM on August 11 [2 favorites has favorites]

"... as we remember them ..."
posted by jabberjaw at 8:21 AM on August 11

Okay, I'm only halfway through this, and I love it. I also love that I recognized Alan Tudyk under that beard.
posted by cereselle at 8:39 AM on August 11

ENOUGH WITH THE BEARDS, ALREADY
posted by interrobang at 9:02 AM on August 11

I can't believe this cast. haven't watched the video yet, but how does funny or die manage to get all this big name talent involved in whatever they end up doing?
posted by shmegegge at 9:11 AM on August 11

I teared up a little at the ham radio scene. Gods, I've become such a sap in middle age.

I have a big box of old G.I. Joe toys in my basement. I think I'm going to go give it a hug.
posted by faster than a speeding bulette at 9:13 AM on August 11 [1 favorite has favorites]

I thought that site was run by a bunch of college kids like that College Humor site, but it turns out it's owned by Will Ferrell. No wonder the casting. Probably all his buds.
posted by cazoo at 9:19 AM on August 11 [1 favorite has favorites]

jesus, that video was amazing.
also the lex luthor bailout one.
but sgt slaughter with the triangle at the end... I squealed. I went "squee! sgt. slaughter!" there's something about having grown up with a toy that routinely got on your television as a real life person and talked tough and fought for america (except for that one dark period where he was aligned with the iron sheik) that just never leaves your mind. he will always be one of my all time favorite pop culture heroes.
posted by shmegegge at 9:23 AM on August 11

Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye

I'll be in my bunk.
posted by PenDevil at 9:31 AM on August 11

The best thing about this is all of the littler touches, like the fact they had the Dreadnoks as the band (one of my college bands had a cover of "Cold Slither" that we opened every show with).
posted by camcgee at 10:04 AM on August 11

How is it possible that this goody one-off video has a better cast and costumes than the film?
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:11 AM on August 11 [1 favorite has favorites]

I can imagine that many people were looking forward to seeing how The Baronness fit into the song, only to end up disappointed.
posted by deanc at 10:17 AM on August 11

Destro and the Baroness also play weddings and bar mitzvahs.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:50 AM on August 11

I swear to god I just watched the Destro and the Baronness (DESTRO AND THE BARONNESS! DESTRO AND THE BARONNESS ARE PRACTICING THEIR CLARINETS!) segment ten times in a row.
posted by bicyclefish at 11:02 AM on August 11

Hmm, now just the other day, I was thinking about a particular piece of 80's nostalgia that I really love and wanted to see make a comeback... if only I could remember - what was it?

Oh yeah, I know! It was

(We Don't Need This) FASCIST GROOVE THANG by Heaven 17
posted by koeselitz at 11:29 AM on August 11

Well that was more fun than previously indicated.
posted by cloax at 11:35 AM on August 11

...aaaaand that was my prepared comment which was just waiting for the first GI Joe post that hit MeFi.

This is actually hilarious. And I think Heaven 17 would love it.
posted by koeselitz at 11:37 AM on August 11

When I was a kid, my G.I. Joe toys didn't always fight. They often just hung out with each other, played pranks on each other, got drunk, watched TV, and engaged in sports. Members of COBRA were really just misunderstood, and they did a lot of drugs (thanks Nancy Reagan for helping color my childhood!). One time COBRA challenged the Joes to a battle of the bands. COBRA did a kick-ass Kiss cover, while the Joes got booed off the stage after covering YMCA, only to be redeemed when Scarlett and Cover Girl sang Barracuda.
posted by jabberjaw at 12:00 PM on August 11 [5 favorites has favorites]

the Joes got booed off the stage after covering YMCA

You're not the only one to pick up on the G.I. Joe/Village People overlap....
posted by COBRA! at 12:06 PM on August 11

Looks like the Cobra Commander costume was the same one used by this cosplayer.

And it also sucks that the best I'll get to that for Halloween without making one myself is this.
posted by daHIFI at 12:51 PM on August 11

koeselitz:

The stars are gonna spell out the answers to tomorrow's crosswords,
and the Phillips Corporation will admit that they've made an awful mistake
and Bill Gates will single-handedly spearhead the Heaven 17 revival

posted by Ian A.T. at 2:30 PM on August 11 [2 favorites has favorites]

I can imagine that many people were looking forward to seeing how The Baronness fit into the song, only to end up disappointed.

Disappointed? Nuh-uh!
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:05 PM on August 11

Chuck Lidell is getting fat.
posted by noahpoah at 7:10 PM on August 11

noahpoah - Yeah, wow. I'd never heard the name, but was positive that I was looking at Stone Cold Steve Austin in the video, and reckoned "Chuck Lidell" was his real name until I googled it.
posted by EatTheWeak at 7:16 PM on August 11

Yes, this was brilliantly cast. I mean, Vinnie Jones?

OK. Now I want a big fight scene with Vinnie Jones, Henry Rollins and Chuck Liddell, dressed up as my favorite childhood toys, and now I feel robbed that I'll never get to see it.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:57 PM on August 11