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Anthropomorphism can be fun!
August 17, 2009 8:11 AM   Subscribe

Slow Loris looking sad. Slow loris looking happy.

(DLYTOTPBC)

Dual Link YouTube of Toxic Primate Being Cute)
posted by quin (71 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite

 
Oh yuck weird. It looks like something you'd find scurrying through your trash in the dark of the night. Disgusting.
posted by xmutex at 8:15 AM on August 17, 2009


The whole time I was watching the second video I imagined the loris just going "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Oh yeaaaaaaaaah."
posted by Askiba at 8:16 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Do not want.
posted by iconomy at 8:17 AM on August 17, 2009


Awwww!

Elvie likes nothing better than to tear the head off of a still moving gecko, happily chew that and then start on the rest of the body. The twitching tail is saved for last and is a special piece of fascination for her.

*backs slowly away*
posted by brain_drain at 8:19 AM on August 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


It's like a Keane painting, in that it has huge, eater eyes and secretly there is madness behind it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:20 AM on August 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


Eater eyes? I meant watery eyes.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:21 AM on August 17, 2009


Yeh, watch that second video again. About 0:35, the loris looks down towards its genitals, the woman points and laughs, and the loris looks somewhat sheepish. Gold.
posted by Sova at 8:21 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh my god how can something look that full of glee
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 8:22 AM on August 17, 2009


Can't access YT at work, but did you also include the slow loris being tickled?
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 8:34 AM on August 17, 2009


So many antiprosimiansts on this site, I'm flagging all of you.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:35 AM on August 17, 2009 [9 favorites]


Awesome. Awesome to the max.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:35 AM on August 17, 2009


It will be mine. Oh, yes. It will be mine.
posted by nosila at 8:37 AM on August 17, 2009


Totally adorable, right up until it very slowly drives the icepick into your eye as you sleep.
posted by fatbird at 8:38 AM on August 17, 2009


Oh wait. Scratch that. No it won't.
posted by nosila at 8:39 AM on August 17, 2009 [21 favorites]


Seriously, read the article I just linked. Youtube is bad for Loris. Make Loris saaad. Loris want a bellyrub to makes Loris feel bedder.

God, it's so hard not to succumb to the cuteness!!!
posted by nosila at 8:42 AM on August 17, 2009


We'd have a real menace on our hands if someone speeds them up.
posted by DU at 8:42 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


nosila: "Oh wait. Scratch that. No it won't."

oh shit. I was JUST thinking "I want one as a pet." thanks for the link. jesus.
posted by shmegegge at 8:49 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Eater eyes? I meant watery eyes.

I think "eater eyes" is the perfect descriptor for those Keane fiends. THEY WILL EAT YOUR SOUL
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:56 AM on August 17, 2009


shmegegge, I was thinking the same thing.
posted by msali at 8:56 AM on August 17, 2009


The loris' overwhelming cuteness and the horror of nosila's link are battling it out in my head now.

It hurts.
posted by orme at 8:57 AM on August 17, 2009


love the second video!

more strange cuteness I can't get enough of: owl getting a head rub
posted by wundermint at 9:05 AM on August 17, 2009


Aww... wild animals are such adorable pets.
posted by zennie at 9:10 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Ugh:

Usually, poachers remove the slow loris’ teeth to make the loris a more pleasant “pet.” The teeth are taken out using pliers and without any anesthetic. The practice, which Navarro-Montes calls “evil,” can lead to infection and even death. In addition, losing its teeth makes it difficult for the loris to eat a healthy diet. Slow lorises “are very susceptible to stress when being moved to a new environment or when put in an inappropriate display,” Nekaris says. Due to this sensitivity to stress, it is estimated 30-90 percent of captured slow lorises don’t survive being transported by poachers and made “people-friendly” before being sold as pets...

In addition, pet slow lorises are often undernourished. “We are only beginning to learn about their diet in the wild,” Nekaris says, “and most captive lorises are fed an inappropriate diet which leads to tooth decay, diabetes, obesity, kidney failure, and death. “

posted by mediareport at 9:12 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yes, my google search for "slow loris pet" did not get me what I had hoped. That is almost always the case when I search for "[cute exotic animal] pet." I'm loathe to admit how often that is.
posted by nosila at 9:12 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm glad that nosila found that link; I found the same stuff when the tickled loris video made the rounds. Cute overload indeed.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:14 AM on August 17, 2009


As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "Don't anthropomorphize the animals. They hate when you do that."
posted by hippybear at 9:17 AM on August 17, 2009 [9 favorites]


Slow Loris looking sad.

Gary Louris looking sad.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:32 AM on August 17, 2009 [7 favorites]


It's so cute when humans capture and make pets out of wild animals, ain't it? It's like an animal's cuteness has become it's liability. "Hey, let's stick you in my HOUSE where I can coo all over you, until I realize you and the said-house are incompatible, and I eventually grow SICK of you." What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute? Double Ugh.
posted by thisperon at 9:53 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Nekaris also says that people are drawn to them because “they are docile to hold.” However, she adds that the loris willingness to be held is not because they are comfortable but rather “it is part of their defense mechanism—to be still and silent” when they feel threatened.

So they're only cute and still because you're scaring them half to death. That sucks.
posted by scrutiny at 9:56 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


The amount of "I WANT ONE" comments under that youtube video is making me ill. The world is not your personal Sanrio store, you nimrods.

*also, thank you for that youtube comment, media report
posted by thisperon at 9:58 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


For whatever reasons of his own, my father acquired a slow loris as our family pet. Morris the loris. The first thing I noticed about those videos is that he is sitting on a surface. They hate that, they want to be in trees and freak out if they find themselves on a flat plane resembling the ground, and will move pretty damn quick to climb something, anything.

They are resolutely nocturnal, which was a plus for a high school kid trying to convince girls to come over to our basement at night.

He was easy to anthropomorphize, leaning back on a branch, oh so comfy, with his fingers intertwined behind his head.

We'd been told to feed him basically rabbit food. My brother used simple logic -- what food is found in trees -- and gave him an egg. He carefully bit a round opening in the top, held it with two hands, and sipped from it like a pint of beer. Then he relaxed, very satisfied, in the position described above.

When giant locusts were in season, we put one of those in there. Turns out the slow loris has a seldom seen lightning fast grab. He munched that thing with the calm and satisfied manner of someone enjoying their favorite sandwich.

He lived a long time. RIP, Morris.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:59 AM on August 17, 2009 [23 favorites]


the loris willingness to be held is not because they are comfortable but rather “it is part of their defense mechanism—to be still and silent” when they feel threatened.

Eh. It got me through childhood.
posted by PlusDistance at 10:02 AM on August 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


thisperon: "What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute? Double Ugh."

yes, those humans and they're "feelings."
posted by shmegegge at 10:24 AM on August 17, 2009


THEIR. their. fuck.
posted by shmegegge at 10:26 AM on August 17, 2009


Somewhat coincidentally, a most hilarious book about a Slow Loris. My kids love it.
posted by dancinglamb at 10:27 AM on August 17, 2009


From Dmitry's YouTube page:

P.S. I must answer several questions was asked...

3. Our Sonya was born in a slow loris nursery and we have bought her in a local pet-shop. She never was in the wild. Thats why she is so tame and friendly!


From the article nosila posted:

“Even the best breeding facilities have great difficulty breeding lorises, and those that do often have difficulty keeping them alive,” she says. “It is so easy to get access to wild-caught lorises, it is highly doubtful that a seller who claims to have captive-bred ones is telling the truth.” Nekaris adds, “A seller [between poacher and buyer] may be led to believe that lorises come from a captive breeding facility in Malaysia, but it has been shown time and time again with many species coming from Southeast Asia that captive-bred is put on the export label as a bribe, and that these animals come from the wild.”

Let's see, you can just walk in the forest and pick up 7 or 8 baby lorises in a few hours, or you can raise generations in a "slow loris nursery" that is difficult and expensive to keep and maintain. I dunno, Dmitry.
posted by mediareport at 10:36 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]



thisperon: "What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute? Double Ugh."


Not to mention the disturbing trend among animals to self domesticate. Stupid animals using their stupid evolution to act juvenile and exploit our feelings. Honestly, grow up animals and act like adults.
posted by malp at 10:48 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Stupid animals using their stupid evolution to act juvenile and exploit our feelings.

I think, once the perception of imminent threat is gone, most mammals just like to be playful and scratched/rubbed/wrestled with just like humans. It's probably an extension of the same mammalian brain in any case. Humans just can add an additional layer of fetishizing and weirdness with their forebrains.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:53 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Malp, I don't quite see the relating of one to the other.
posted by thisperon at 10:56 AM on August 17, 2009


If you kids don't domesticate yourselves, I'm going to come over there and do some domesticating for you.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:57 AM on August 17, 2009



shmegegge: yes, those humans and they're "feelings."

Feelings which have spawned an industry of trapping and maiming animals for personal amusement...yep, pesky humans strike again!
posted by thisperon at 11:02 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute?

It's the only thing that keeps us from eating our young. And if you consider how powerful our "cute" programming is, we must have REALLY wanted to eat our young. Or at the very least use them as bait to catch a bigger meal.

Think about how even today we have "dont leave your baby in a dumpster" programs. Imagine how it was way back before we figured this shit out. I mean, babies are really, really obnoxious, smelly, and bad at hunting/gathering. Probably a landscape littered with discarded young'uns.

Something had to inspire us to come out on the right side of the "clean up it's poo/toss it in a bush" decision tree.
posted by billyfleetwood at 11:08 AM on August 17, 2009 [12 favorites]


billyfleetwood: Thanks for answering my question. I guess I am particularly disturbed by this ingrained tendency because of how easily people justify it. (Oh, but look how cute it is! *then proceeds to ignore and rationalize any kind of suffering the animal might experience, as well as the general effects of the pet trade as a whole* )

But I suppose, like you said, its strength is a central feature of this tendency.
posted by thisperon at 11:18 AM on August 17, 2009


Many animals are cute.

Few make good pets.

Humans don't eat human babies.

I'm learning a lot in this thread!

*scrolls back up to watch the OMG IT IS SO CUTE videos again*
posted by hippybear at 11:20 AM on August 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


right up until it very slowly drives the icepick into your eye as you sleep

Not quite so... from the article:

"the slow loris is an ambusher, creeping up on prey with incredible steadiness--hence its name--and then grasping it with lightning speed to catch its dinner."

These videos are all propogated by the creatures themselves. Their very name is proof the scheme has worked.

We will eventually rename them Lightning Poison Death Rodents, assuming we are still sufficiently populous as a species to gather in groups and converse.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:21 AM on August 17, 2009 [8 favorites]


Metafilter: a landscape littered with discarded young'uns.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:22 AM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


". . . when Lorises feel that battle stations is necessary, they fold their arms into a diamond around their head. While this looks incredible cute and useless as a defence mechanism, it allows for them to quickly take the toxin from their fore arms into their mouth in preparation for biting. This is reminiscent of karate moves at the last draw corral. Ah, I see you know the grasshopper, but do you know the Slow Loris?!"
posted by [insert clever name here] at 11:30 AM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Feelings which have spawned an industry of trapping and maiming animals for personal amusement

They took away Hello Kitty's MOUTH, for god's sakes.
posted by benzenedream at 11:38 AM on August 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


Loris have nothing on momongas. Aaaand I don't know that because I would never visit Cute Overload.
Errr, I meant to say: of course I visit CO, but only to build up a manly immunity to cuteness!

So far it isn't working.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 11:39 AM on August 17, 2009


Lightning Poison Death Rodents is the name of my new band. Thank you, CynicalKnight.
posted by yiftach at 11:43 AM on August 17, 2009


No more wild animals as pets, please. There's a tamandua who lives at our zoo (and she's the cutest, coolest creature ever) who was someone's pet. They fed her raw chicken; now her guts don't work properly and she can't eat like a normal tamandua. It's really sad. Her own mother had been kept by the same awesome human beings and died because they didn't know how to take care of her. But, you know: CUUUTE! You can put little OUTFITS on them and it's SO CUTE. LOL!

And some days I get to answer the zoo's main phone and I can't tell you how many "can I give you guys my suddenly inconvenient exotic pet?" calls we get. It's ridiculous. (And they always say "donate." Like they'd be doing us a tremendous favor by dropping off their red-eared sliders/owls/monkeys/whatever. Are you making a donation to the Humane Society when you drop off your dog?) Sometimes people show up at the zoo with alligators, owls, goats, whatever. And we have to tell them we don't take outside animals. And we give them phone numbers for local exotic animal rescues and hope for the best but wonder what's really going to happen to them, and then you get really depressed for the rest of the day.

One docent was talking to a kid who really liked our clouded leopard. So much that he said he wanted one as a pet. The big, pointy teeth? He'd just have those pulled out so Kitty wouldn't be as dangerous. The docent asked, "What would you do if you got bored with him?" Kid shrugged, said: "Give him back to the zoo?"

Poor animals. I wish that kinkaju had eaten Paris Hilton.

Sorry. This sort of thing gets me all incoherent and ragey.
posted by Neofelis at 11:44 AM on August 17, 2009 [15 favorites]


What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute? Double Ugh.
posted by thisperon at 12:53 PM on August 17



Aaaaaaaaaaw, wook at the oojie-boojie thisperson. Who's a fluffy? Are you a fluffy? Yes, you are! Oh, yes, you are! You just a teeny-weeny fluffy-puffy thisperson. With the bitey toofs and the fuzzy face!
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:04 PM on August 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


FelliniBlank: I shall, with heavy heart, assume the cuteness crown if it could save one more animal. Do you not see my huge, oversized eyes sparkle with sadness? *sparkle* *sparkle*
posted by thisperon at 12:14 PM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's the spirit, and they're much sparklier with your name spelled correctly as well.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:42 PM on August 17, 2009


MAKE IT STOP LOOKING AT ME OH GOD NO!
posted by The Whelk at 1:54 PM on August 17, 2009


What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans to infantilize anything that's cute?

It's not quite that.

Evolution surely favors people who automatically feel affection and protectiveness for the young of their species. But the triggering characteristics -- small general size, big eyes, soft skin, soft hair, little hands, etc. -- seem not to be exclusive enough, so pretty much anything that fits that baby template is clutched to the bosom. A furry little primate with giant eyes and little baby-sized hands on outstretched arms is doomed to be squealed at.

So it is more that people have a tendency to see as "cute" (a word I'll never like) any animal (real or cartoon) that has characteristics that also happen to distinguish human babies from human adults, even when the characteristics on the animal have nothing to do with infancy. An adult loris, after all, has large eyes so that it can find and kill its prey in the dark.
posted by pracowity at 2:06 PM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I seriously thought this was going to be a post about DDOS attacks. Once I saw that laptop in the background in the tickling link, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Very cute, though.
posted by Avelwood at 2:16 PM on August 17, 2009


> Malp, I don't quite see the relating of one to the other.

From Wikipedia:

Research done beginning in 1959 by the Soviet geneticist Dmitri Belyaev on silver foxes bred only for tameness revealed that a whole range of other physical and behaviourial features, such as neoteny, also appeared along with the tameness, characteristics that were not specifically the result of selective breeding by humans. White spots on their fur, floppy ears, rolled tails and smaller skulls were seen in the tame foxes, and the foxes were also described as "incredibly endearing."[4] Belyaev and his successors also bred rats for tameness, with similar results.

Smaller skulls on tame animals have been noticed in other species. Noticing that a dog's skull looks like that of a juvenile wolf, Richard Wrangham goes on to say that "this leads to the thought that species can self-domesticate."[1] Other characteristics that are associated with juvenility -- barking and meowing (sounds used by wolf cubs and kittens of large felines, respectively, to communicate with their parents) more playful and less aggressive, more sexual and more eager to learn -- are seen in tame animals.


Now you can look at this as some weird facts about the world. But they are not really. Instead of asking why is this so, we can ask, why do we see this? Why are these the details we pick out?
posted by fcummins at 2:22 PM on August 17, 2009


The pet angle never even occurred to me when I posted this; between the fact that the the third link points out that they stink, their bites are so painful and the fact that, you know, they're freakin' toxic, that they would be sufficiently safe from people wanting to share a home with them.

The thought that people would pull their teeth out? Ick. Every day I discover new ways in which people suck.

Loris are still cute though.
posted by quin at 2:28 PM on August 17, 2009


Slow loris obliterating your mind.
posted by Rhaomi at 2:39 PM on August 17, 2009 [21 favorites]


The thought that people would pull their teeth out? Ick. Every day I discover new ways in which people suck.

In fairness, the sucking is much better without the teeth.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:51 PM on August 17, 2009


Rhaomi, that is awesome.
posted by small_ruminant at 3:08 PM on August 17, 2009


Rhaomi: the perfect melding of two FPPs! I congratulate you!

(or I will, once I stop laughing in delight and dry the tears from my face)
posted by hippybear at 3:30 PM on August 17, 2009


Oh, gods, Rhaomi ... I just lost half my coffee. What a find!
posted by nonspecialist at 3:50 PM on August 17, 2009


(I should've mentioned, I found the video through here.)
posted by Rhaomi at 4:04 PM on August 17, 2009


What is it with this disturbing tendency among humans infantilize themselves in the presence of cute?

And, this is probably not the time to say that I totally want a pet owl now.
posted by kanewai at 4:17 PM on August 17, 2009


Awwww!

Elvie likes nothing better than to tear the head off of a still moving gecko, happily chew that and then start on the rest of the body. The twitching tail is saved for last and is a special piece of fascination for her.

*backs slowly away*

...

It's like a Keane painting, in that it has huge, watery eyes and secretly there is madness behind it.


Yet you two probably think cats make fine pets, too.
posted by Evilspork at 4:59 PM on August 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I didn't mean to be all crankypants toward quin; Loriseses are cute (and deadly!) and I'm fully in favor of cooing over cute things. Just not, you know. Bullying wild animals into living in my apartment.

That's what Italian Greyhounds are for!
posted by Neofelis at 5:01 PM on August 17, 2009


Yes, because they aren't plotting to destroy us all. No way. (hint, the one on the left is distracting you so the one on the right can take out your Achilles tendon.)

I almost linked to THX Tarsier as a "previously on", but I figured I was already pushing the definition of dual link by using three. Four would have been madness.
posted by quin at 5:31 PM on August 17, 2009


YouTube videos may be imperiling cuddly primate


Despite the fact that owning a slow loris as a pet or trading it is illegal in all range countries and “all countries where primates as pets are illegal,” the species is still heavily trafficked . . .

If hunters find a slow loris parent with a baby, they often kill the parent. According to ProFauna Indonesia, a wildlife conservation group, poachers have been recorded catching six or seven slow lorises in a single day. Infants are transported in sacks, sometimes several in one sack with their arms tied, or in wire cages, which, due to the primates’ unique network of blood vessels, cut their skin.

Usually, poachers remove the slow loris’ teeth to make the loris a more pleasant “pet.” The teeth are taken out using pliers and without any anesthetic. The practice, which Navarro-Montes calls “evil,” can lead to infection and even death. In addition, losing its teeth makes it difficult for the loris to eat a healthy diet. Slow lorises “are very susceptible to stress when being moved to a new environment or when put in an inappropriate display,” Nekaris says. Due to this sensitivity to stress, it is estimated 30-90 percent of captured slow lorises don’t survive being transported by poachers and made “people-friendly” before being sold as pets.

Even if the slow loris survives long enough to be sold as a pet, it remains a wild animal, not adapted for living with humans. . . Orphaned infant slow lorises also are unable to clean themselves of feces and urine, because their parents would have cleaned them with their tongues and claws.

In addition, pet slow lorises are often undernourished. . . most captive lorises are fed an inappropriate diet which leads to tooth decay, diabetes, obesity, kidney failure, and death.

ProFauna Indonesia has estimated that 6,000 to 7,000 slow lorises are poached every year in Indonesia. This number would be unsustainable even without habitat loss, but the country has one of the world’s highest levels of deforestation—between 1990 and 2005 Indonesia lost 24 percent of its forest, largely to oil-palm plantations and logging. While Indonesia is just one nation that harbors the slow loris, it faces similar threats in all of its native countries. No species can survive such an onslaught for long.


see also...
posted by markkraft at 2:08 AM on August 18, 2009


In case anyone is interested where our pet slow loris came from, my father supplied materials for a construction project at the Pittsburgh Zoo. He added the loris as part of the price negotiations. It had clearly been captured in the wild, it took a few years for it to get comfortable with being out of its cage. It never liked being held, but it would climb up on us, the higher the better, and liked sitting on our heads.

It came to like being scratched, or introduced to new climbing places. It lived for decades. Towards the end of its life my brother gave it lots of veterinary care for age related decline. In the wild it probably would have died much sooner.
posted by StickyCarpet at 2:15 PM on August 18, 2009


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