Short Versions

August 18, 2009 8:09 PM

Dissertation Haiku
posted by Miko (34 comments total)

You linked to a blog.
It's not a very good blog.
Post will soon be gone?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:14 PM on August 18

The only hope here
is to turn the thread into
a string of haiku.
posted by The World Famous at 8:17 PM on August 18

Two hundred pages
That no one will likely read
At least I got work.
posted by BlooPen at 8:18 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

Not that great but why
not wait for blog to mature
u r l for ward
posted by Mngo at 8:26 PM on August 18

Too terse; didn't read
Snark protects blog from clickthrough
The server is safe
posted by lumensimus at 8:27 PM on August 18

I'm afraid the blog
won't be quite op'rational
when our friends arrive.
posted by The World Famous at 8:30 PM on August 18

I thought these were pretty good.



Marine microbes eat
polysaccharides, except
that sometimes they don’t.

Andrew D. Steen

University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

I measured the rates at which dissolved polysaccharides are degraded by microbes in seawater. Differences in those rates among locations suggest that the reactivity of dissolved organic matter in seawater is determined by the nature of the microbial community as well as the chemical characteristics of organic matter. If seawater microbial communities in the Arctic Ocean begin to access a wider range of dissolved organic molecules as temperatures warm in the future, more organic matter may be converted to carbon dioxide in the Arctic Ocean.
posted by lazaruslong at 8:32 PM on August 18

Chocolate Pickle
Poised always at keyboard, leaps
To say: I don't care
posted by neroli at 8:42 PM on August 18 [5 favorites]

I dunno about you, but for me "chocolate" is two syllables.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:44 PM on August 18

my dissertation
is more important than your
indifference, meh!
posted by geos at 8:49 PM on August 18

HaikuFilter is
So much more relaxing than
PoliticsFilter.
posted by haltingproblemsolved at 9:05 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

snark waters flowing
Metafilter front page post
glow screensaver moon
posted by gudrun at 9:08 PM on August 18

My dissertation
can be cut to no less than
twenty syllables.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:13 PM on August 18

chokie pickle picked
fresh usernames every
season because: meh
posted by Burhanistan at 9:19 PM on August 18

Christing fuck not another thread of seventeen-syllable comments.
posted by dersins at 9:22 PM on August 18 [4 favorites]

a prig, vexed, wants
others to not enjoy verse.
so sorry, ninny.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:25 PM on August 18

An old pond
snark jumps in
Splash!
posted by serazin at 9:25 PM on August 18 [5 favorites]

And then there are the halfwits who can't manage to count without line breaks.
posted by dersins at 9:31 PM on August 18

And then there are the halfwits who can't manage to count without line breaks.

Are there? Are there, sir? Because I think you are just trying to be cute.
posted by The World Famous at 9:35 PM on August 18

Hee - my dissertation is up there!
posted by redbeard at 9:45 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

I thought these were pretty good.
posted by lazaruslong at 11:32 PM on August 18 [+] [!]

Dear Lazaruslong,
You are doing it all wrong.
Haiku is a song.
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 10:01 PM on August 18

Writing haiku instead of your thesis? Perhaps you should rethink that.
posted by rtha at 10:05 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

Dear abc1
23xyzinfin
ity I'm sorry
posted by lazaruslong at 10:07 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

Almost done, I swear--
Another semester, tops.
You want fries with that?
posted by DaDaDaDave at 11:03 PM on August 18 [1 favorite]

Early threadshitting
Delusions of Mod Power
Signal versus Noise?
posted by lazaruslong at 11:10 PM on August 18

Scientists' haiku
are hard to make, with packed
polysyllables:

"Polyglycerides,"
"computability," those
complicated words.

Humanists' haiku,
though, involve cutting them – those
fake complications.
posted by RogerB at 12:51 AM on August 19 [1 favorite]

abominations
without a hint of season
stick hut lost its roof
posted by Twang at 2:58 AM on August 19

'phylogenetics'
that's one line already used.
I will not take part.
posted by primer_dimer at 4:11 AM on August 19

Writing a book seems
Pointless when no one will read
More than the abstract

Yet I have gone blind
Peering at marginalia
By authors few know

Due diligence
Rewarding yet unnoticed
You poop? It's like that.
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:28 AM on August 19 [3 favorites]

Verbs in present tense
didn't have the zero grade
in old PIE.

At last, I can present the basic finding of my never-completed dissertation to the world! Are you happy now, advisor? Are you happy?
posted by languagehat at 5:42 AM on August 19 [2 favorites]

These are excellent
And I promise to add one
Sometime this decade.
posted by jb at 6:01 AM on August 19 [1 favorite]

No thesis for me.
I produced a play instead,
and forwent grad school.
posted by ocherdraco at 6:12 AM on August 19 [1 favorite]

Writing haiku can,
often, help me concentrate.
My own research? Here:

Do the cows' salads
match the recipe, farmer?
We can't really know.
posted by zennie at 8:31 AM on August 19

Some folks with too little to do
Made a website of thesis haiku.
Just for a lark,
Metafilter made snark -
Irresistable beans they can chew.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:38 AM on August 19 [1 favorite]