twitter defines our world, in poetry

August 19, 2009 7:36 PM

the worlds longest poem... I have a twitter account, I hate twitter... but this, somehow, this might define.... well...something..
posted by HuronBob (45 comments total)

No sir, I don't like it.
posted by GavinR at 7:44 PM on August 19, 2009

That is a phenomenally creative and interesting idea. Completely lacking in "utility" but what a brilliant thing to have thought of! What a simple little organizational framework for something so organic. Totally rad. Thanks.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:54 PM on August 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Utility is the least of the things it lacks.
Now I will go outside, my car to wax.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:01 PM on August 19, 2009 [4 favorites]

"I ruptured a blood vessel and have a cut in my eye. Ow.
Fun night, now back home to sleep. Thinking of you and your dad Joe!"

It's not poetry if it doesn't rhyme damnit!

Kinda neat though.
I remember way back in my internet youth, finding a site (or newsgroup?!? it was 1994) of exquisite corpse poetry -
(the previous line supplied, do your own, then see the whole thing etc.)

Even though the result was terrible,
I thought it was amazing to have this real-time, globally distributed contribution system.
Now, the process has been automated by a rhyme-seeking bot
monitoring mundane cries for attention

How far we've come?
posted by sloe at 8:11 PM on August 19, 2009

"Don't turn around, I'm sick and I am tired of your face.
my head and my heart are in the same place"

Gotta give this my hastily-carved, poorly-proportioned stamp of approval based on that couplet alone.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 8:11 PM on August 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

rhyme ≠ poem
posted by unSane at 8:17 PM on August 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Wow. I really like this, and I have no love for twitter. It's eerie how well the couplets work together, and sometimes the stanzas nearly scan.

(If you haven't figured it out yet, click the dots at the bottom for a refresh.)
posted by hippybear at 8:21 PM on August 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

What I do is make a very cheesy slow hip hop beat in my head (unf, tish) and then imagine the Beastie Boys of the early 1990s delivering these lines.

Ate some home made tacos and rice my mom made!
is in regional theater AND getting paid!!!

It's uncanny. I'm off to get the brass monkey.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:22 PM on August 19, 2009 [9 favorites]

so now our verse is compiled from twitter
from this i conclude poetry's in the shitter
things could be worse - i'd curse the rube
who would aggregate poetry from youtube
posted by pyramid termite at 8:31 PM on August 19, 2009 [3 favorites]

Word, I'm thinking 808 and Beastie Boys. ;)

One step closer to the singularity!
posted by CoinOp at 8:32 PM on August 19, 2009

Please come out of the woodwork to post your hatred for twitter. Because if there's one thing any twitter post _must_ have is more people posting to say how much they hate twitter.
posted by schwa at 8:38 PM on August 19, 2009 [4 favorites]

*emerges from woodwork with script in hand, looks around, blinking in the bright light of day*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:46 PM on August 19, 2009

To my surprise, I like this.
posted by brain_drain at 8:57 PM on August 19, 2009

Please come out of the woodwork to post your hatred for twitter. Because if there's one thing any twitter post _must_ have is more people posting to say how much they hate twitter.

Graham Linehan likes Twitter almost as much as I enjoy rapping these poems in my head-cold muffled and snot-muddied voice. Which is to say, muchly. Thanks!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:10 PM on August 19, 2009

Please come out of the woodwork to post your hatred for twitter.

You know who else hates short to the point electronic messages?
Al Swearengen.
posted by at the crossroads at 9:34 PM on August 19, 2009

Come and get it. New items arriving daily! Get them while they last!
Feels like everyone and everything is changing so fast

Haha - like a few others, I enjoy this more than I thought I would.
posted by Zephyrial at 9:39 PM on August 19, 2009

My heart need you as a beat and i need you as my last
couple strokes and my erection is a thing of the past.

hm.
posted by flamk at 9:50 PM on August 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Black thunder gives life and takes it away.
I GOT MY ASS OUT AND BOUGHT LUNCH. YAY!!!!!

I feel like this couplet might be the definition of the Twitter spectrum.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 10:37 PM on August 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

Also:

I'm finding myself and exploring my true desires!
why the hell do i have so many damn cords and wires

-the sexually confused robot.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 10:40 PM on August 19, 2009 [2 favorites]

It's still not longer than the Faerie Queene.
posted by caddis at 10:50 PM on August 19, 2009

It's no Epic of Manas.
posted by tellurian at 11:16 PM on August 19, 2009

Step Two: Speech Synthesis and Drum Machine Backing.
posted by phrontist at 11:28 PM on August 19, 2009

i'm so tired! - couldn't sleep and won't sleep any more! -.-
FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR

I am utterly indifferent to Twitter but I love this to death.
posted by Nomiconic at 11:46 PM on August 19, 2009

This is great.

Love the light because you light the way darkness and you can see the stars.
driving home sweet home. yay random wednesday nights! and yay for gay bars!

Bookmarked, favorited, enjoying immensely.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:07 AM on August 20, 2009

Found poetry is where you find it, and for each refresh, of course there were bits that don't scan, don't connect, but for each page, I found nearly five or six couplets that I loved. To me, at least, something useful has come from twitter. Damn fine stuff.
posted by Ghidorah at 12:18 AM on August 20, 2009

now we just have to wait for the greasemonkey script that will do this for mefites, and sentences they've posted. Who would have the best poetry? What rhymes with Wendell?
posted by Ghidorah at 12:19 AM on August 20, 2009

No sir, I don't like it.
posted by hypersloth at 1:14 AM on August 20, 2009

twatter is coming
posted by henners at 1:22 AM on August 20, 2009

There is a very real, very profound beauty in the high-art/low-art/loldongs-iness of this. I am smitten.
posted by Jofus at 2:30 AM on August 20, 2009

Oh my giddy aunt, this deserves to be reprinted in full:

A sunny day at last and i have to leave
Its birthday eve, eve! And ultra eve, eve!
went to church and now chatting
toss won... and we're batting!
He is my savor and my saving grace...
hollow and empty just like your embrace
i'm so tired! - couldn't sleep and won't sleep any more! -.-
And it only doesn't fit through the front door....!?
feels exhausted and wants to each chocolate cake.
went to bed too early and now am wide awake!
Contemplating new interests in life and love
Whats Tofu made from? And what does it taste of?
trying to open and IRA...
Misses Will and Lyra.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Go all out for GOD, and GOD will go all out for you
Stormy weather coming today, winds up, still warm and dark skies . . .
Time to get out of the bed and time to get ready *sighs*
does that mean pink and butch are doing ANOTHER song? :)
working working and painting all day long
posted by Jofus at 2:41 AM on August 20, 2009

Oh shit, I didn't know the DOOM/Ghostface collab was out already.
posted by palidor at 4:12 AM on August 20, 2009

I tried that exact thing for a month or so before it's mind-numbing stupidity crushed my soul forever.
posted by sciurus at 4:31 AM on August 20, 2009

oh freddled gruntbuggly ...
posted by jbickers at 4:37 AM on August 20, 2009

This brings a new meaning to "I was a poet and didn't know it."
posted by bigmusic at 4:57 AM on August 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

Brilliant. Now someone do one for sonnets!
posted by TheophileEscargot at 5:17 AM on August 20, 2009

And you think I am?
tired and handsome.. Damn!!!
Looking forward to going home and getting into bed
We need to stop beiNg pretty good and be great instead.
posted by Rumpled at 5:30 AM on August 20, 2009

Oh man, I love the couplets that undercut themselves!

yay for smooth jazz and a nap :)
yep... and its crap!

couch is amazing. comfortable and its also a bed.
i woke up an hour and a half ago and i still feel dead

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
riding my bicycle to work and back - you should too!

Even better are those whose second line casts the first in a wholly new, unforeseen light --

I make horrible life choices and regret them the next day
I have chemistry and physics textbooks to give away

Trying to decide between Live and O.A.R. for my listening pleasure...
Have property envy and despair in equal measure

I had a weird and awkward day..
up Up UP and away!!

... I'm enjoying this a whole lot, is what I'm trying to say.
posted by Rumpled at 5:51 AM on August 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

I like twitter. I don't expect anyone to agree, as I'm sure none of the other 6 million accounts are held by anyone here at Metafilter.
posted by iconomy at 6:42 AM on August 20, 2009

Some of these have me almost convinced that someone must be screening the couplets:

Enjoying some red wine and the breeze
got results an A and two B's


Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.
Come on COWARD come out and say it to my face

listening to the smiths and writing letters.
Accounting, creditors and debtors

Got my shower got my clothes on and ready for some pre club hanging
Sitting in a lecture and all I can hear are beats banging


And this one just made me chuckle

@ Electrical and Electronics Institute
You're the cat's pajamas and the dog's swimsuit.
posted by primer_dimer at 6:44 AM on August 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

Oh no! I miscalculated and overspent my last week's pay!
Just bought and confirmed ticket going back to Indonesia. Yay!!

Heh.
posted by sabira at 8:21 AM on August 20, 2009

Genius.
posted by Not Supplied at 8:36 AM on August 20, 2009

Tea and Life After People. Win it.
FUCK YOU INTERNET, BROADBAND AND SHIT. :D
There are this jerk and this bitch which I should kill this night.
Karaoke and trivia combo @ the Sunset tonight,

Pretty, in a FTW! 2.0! kind of way.
posted by Glee at 9:20 AM on August 20, 2009

curse you rhyme for smuggling tweets into my media diet
posted by doobiedoo at 9:32 AM on August 20, 2009

Not being a Twitter person in the least, I still found a few gems in here, despite its being 97% crap and 2% WTF?. But whoever wrote -- and I'm paraphrasing -- "Being in love is like the longest, greatest dream ever, and marriage is the alarm clock" just made my day.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 10:16 AM on August 20, 2009

Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.
I'm not angry with you. I'm just pissed off by your tone and attitude.

Just done cleaning face and using night cream
just lock the door and find some time to scream.

About to take a shower. Talking to mom and dad always fun!
i'm tied together with smile and i'm coming undone...

I love this. (And I like Twitter, too.)
posted by joannemerriam at 8:31 PM on August 20, 2009