Mustache Love
August 21, 2009 12:20 PM Subscribe
What, I ask, are we men left with now?
posted by adamms222 at 12:23 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by adamms222 at 12:23 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't make passes at girls with mustaches.
posted by GavinR at 12:25 PM on August 21, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by GavinR at 12:25 PM on August 21, 2009 [4 favorites]
You can pry my mustache from my cold dead upper lip.
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:25 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:25 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
This seemed to be a trend around Hoxton/Shoreditch a few years ago; groups of girls wearing stick-on novelty mustaches.
posted by acb at 12:29 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by acb at 12:29 PM on August 21, 2009
Blow up the internet right now. It had a good run, but now let's just nuke this thing, with big nukes, from space.
posted by jefbla at 12:30 PM on August 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by jefbla at 12:30 PM on August 21, 2009 [10 favorites]
Wow, that's...remarkable. "Make sure your upper lip has absolutely no hair on it, otherwise you'll be EW GROSS and no man will ever find you attractive. Then, put fake hair on your upper lip, and you'll be ADORABLE."
Society is just one great big Harry Harlow experiment, isn't it?
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:31 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Society is just one great big Harry Harlow experiment, isn't it?
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:31 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
This doesn't make much sense to me.
posted by kylej at 12:32 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by kylej at 12:32 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
And here I was, thinking this would be a tribute to me and my hirsute sisters. Everyone knows the best female mustache is the kind you can grow yourself!
posted by holyrood at 12:33 PM on August 21, 2009 [17 favorites]
posted by holyrood at 12:33 PM on August 21, 2009 [17 favorites]
I'm pretty sure these are fake.
posted by Floydd at 12:35 PM on August 21, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by Floydd at 12:35 PM on August 21, 2009 [11 favorites]
Is this anything like hot gay men with beards?
posted by Pollomacho at 12:35 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Pollomacho at 12:35 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
This subculture which begins with the letter "h", which I am beginning to think is too protean to actually exist except notionally, is nevertheless beginning to weary me. Winsomely.
posted by everichon at 12:36 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by everichon at 12:36 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Well this certainly gives new meaning to Boris and Natasha.
posted by willmize at 12:37 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by willmize at 12:37 PM on August 21, 2009
Mustaches are nice and all, but beards are really where it's at.
(I might change my mind if I saw one of these falsely mustachioed hipster chicks eating a light bulb.)
posted by Xalf at 12:37 PM on August 21, 2009
(I might change my mind if I saw one of these falsely mustachioed hipster chicks eating a light bulb.)
posted by Xalf at 12:37 PM on August 21, 2009
I thought this was going to be about drag kings who cultivate their upper-lip hair.
Ah well.
posted by lekvar at 12:38 PM on August 21, 2009
Ah well.
posted by lekvar at 12:38 PM on August 21, 2009
Cute Girls...
Alright, let's party! Woohoo!
...With Mustaches
WHAT!?
posted by anazgnos at 12:44 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Alright, let's party! Woohoo!
...With Mustaches
WHAT!?
posted by anazgnos at 12:44 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
This doesn't make much sense to me.
It's not about the mustache. The mustache is a McGuffin. Its only significance is that it's obscure and unlikely enough to occur randomly so that those girls who sport them before anyone else does can prove themselves to be ahead of the trend curve.
Of course, eventually it may catch on, and we may see manufactured pop groups and footballers' girlfriends sporting mustaches, and H&M and Urban Outfitters selling them alongside hair pins, in which case the hipster girls will have moved out of the way and onto the next thing.
posted by acb at 12:46 PM on August 21, 2009
It's not about the mustache. The mustache is a McGuffin. Its only significance is that it's obscure and unlikely enough to occur randomly so that those girls who sport them before anyone else does can prove themselves to be ahead of the trend curve.
Of course, eventually it may catch on, and we may see manufactured pop groups and footballers' girlfriends sporting mustaches, and H&M and Urban Outfitters selling them alongside hair pins, in which case the hipster girls will have moved out of the way and onto the next thing.
posted by acb at 12:46 PM on August 21, 2009
GRAR offensive to women GRAR
That's right. There's absolutely nothing fraught around the issues of facial hair for women in our society. We should just lighten up, because it's all fun! Never mention any issues, because that would be a giant buzzkill! If you don't talk about it, it's not happening!
Sorry, I'm recovering from a decades-long case of Stockholm Syndrome, and my doctor recommends less knee-jerk anti-feminism douchewaddery, so get bent.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:47 PM on August 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
That's right. There's absolutely nothing fraught around the issues of facial hair for women in our society. We should just lighten up, because it's all fun! Never mention any issues, because that would be a giant buzzkill! If you don't talk about it, it's not happening!
Sorry, I'm recovering from a decades-long case of Stockholm Syndrome, and my doctor recommends less knee-jerk anti-feminism douchewaddery, so get bent.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:47 PM on August 21, 2009 [3 favorites]
I was hoping for cute girls with real mustaches.
They exist, dammit
posted by lunit at 12:51 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
They exist, dammit
posted by lunit at 12:51 PM on August 21, 2009 [2 favorites]
Ahem.
Congratulations, fixedgear. You've found the single most meanspirited page on the entire internets!
posted by dersins at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Congratulations, fixedgear. You've found the single most meanspirited page on the entire internets!
posted by dersins at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
What is the sound of a cyber shark jumping?
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 12:53 PM on August 21, 2009
Wait, did hipsters just ruin our "Shave the Date" cards? Fuck.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:54 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by uncleozzy at 12:54 PM on August 21, 2009
less knee-jerk anti-feminism douchewaddery
Sorry if I upset you, I thought this was something that clearly wasn't offensive to women.
Hence the joke...
posted by scrutiny at 12:55 PM on August 21, 2009
Sorry if I upset you, I thought this was something that clearly wasn't offensive to women.
Hence the joke...
posted by scrutiny at 12:55 PM on August 21, 2009
You just watch now. Next week the New York Times Style section will feature a story on "Girls With Mustaches."
posted by ericb at 1:01 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by ericb at 1:01 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Oh my.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:09 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by JohnnyGunn at 1:09 PM on August 21, 2009
You just watch now. Next week the New York Times Style section will feature a story on "Girls With Mustaches."
Next year, more likely.
posted by Evangeline at 1:11 PM on August 21, 2009
Next year, more likely.
posted by Evangeline at 1:11 PM on August 21, 2009
lunit: "I was hoping for cute girls with real mustaches.
They exist, dammit"
Here ya go.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:11 PM on August 21, 2009
They exist, dammit"
Here ya go.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:11 PM on August 21, 2009
Evangeline: "You just watch now. Next week the New York Times Style section will feature a story on "Girls With Mustaches."
Next year, more likely."
Try 2005.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:12 PM on August 21, 2009
Next year, more likely."
Try 2005.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:12 PM on August 21, 2009
Well whaddya know.
posted by Evangeline at 1:14 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by Evangeline at 1:14 PM on August 21, 2009
I had a dream, not like Martin Luther King, but like a sleeping dream where I came up with the next big thing. It was fake mustaches on hipster girls. This happened two years ago. You might think because of this premonition that I'm excited for this 'trend'. I am NOT.
posted by I Foody at 1:18 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by I Foody at 1:18 PM on August 21, 2009
hey can we start calling people hipsters again? that's always good times.
posted by ninjew at 1:24 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by ninjew at 1:24 PM on August 21, 2009
You know you're looking at the wrong website when you have no idea what the banner ads are selling.
Although, if 80's Purple is some kind of soda, I want some.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 1:26 PM on August 21, 2009
Although, if 80's Purple is some kind of soda, I want some.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 1:26 PM on August 21, 2009
So this is what it's like to be too old to relate to the kids these days.
posted by usonian at 1:37 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by usonian at 1:37 PM on August 21, 2009
Ah, damn, The corpse in the library beat me to JD Samson, who really owns her moustache in every sense of the word.
When I first saw this video ages ago, I remember thinking, "Wow. I didn't know Le Tigre had a guy in their band. How cool." It takes me a while to catch on sometimes.
posted by maudlin at 1:43 PM on August 21, 2009
When I first saw this video ages ago, I remember thinking, "Wow. I didn't know Le Tigre had a guy in their band. How cool." It takes me a while to catch on sometimes.
posted by maudlin at 1:43 PM on August 21, 2009
I blame Peaches.
posted by fleetmouse at 1:53 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by fleetmouse at 1:53 PM on August 21, 2009
Mustache Sally uh-huh
Guess you better mow your mustache down
Uh, what I said now...
posted by pracowity at 1:54 PM on August 21, 2009
Guess you better mow your mustache down
Uh, what I said now...
posted by pracowity at 1:54 PM on August 21, 2009
Mustache susie, mustache sam
Do the jitterbug out in mustache land
And they shimmy,
And sammys so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like mustache love
posted by vronsky at 2:00 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Do the jitterbug out in mustache land
And they shimmy,
And sammys so skinny
And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin and jingin the jango
Floatin like the heavens above
It looks like mustache love
posted by vronsky at 2:00 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's so innocuous...and yet, I am so annoyed.
posted by whimsicalnymph at 2:13 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by whimsicalnymph at 2:13 PM on August 21, 2009
I, too, was hoping this would be a post about drag kings (how can you have a post on girls with mustaches and not have at least one shot of J.D. Samson? Where's Jennifer Miller?) but instead its just the latest pseudotrend. The only thing striking or interesting about this is that these girls exemplify hipsterism in the classic sense, the Mailer "White Negro" sense: they play with the affectations of masculinity, thinking their posturing is somehow subversive, when it actually serves to accentuate their own femininity and gender privilege. They don't really want to fuck with gender; they want men to think they're cute.
Sorry if I'm underwhelmed.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 2:34 PM on August 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
Sorry if I'm underwhelmed.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 2:34 PM on August 21, 2009 [6 favorites]
I think it's just that since it became trendy to shave all pubic hair, they had to find a new way to talk about the carpet matching the drapes....
posted by qvantamon at 2:43 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by qvantamon at 2:43 PM on August 21, 2009
For once, I'm way ahead of the curve here...
Three years ago my friend's wedding was handing out mustaches so everyone had them for the photos. This wedding also had a banana costume and some other vegetable costume. This was preceded by a lot of mustache growing for big annual get togethers. The icing on the cake was when several people got their drivers licences renewed sporting huge handlebar and other bushy mustaches.
Me, I get a bit of peach fuzz if I'm really patient.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 2:57 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Three years ago my friend's wedding was handing out mustaches so everyone had them for the photos. This wedding also had a banana costume and some other vegetable costume. This was preceded by a lot of mustache growing for big annual get togethers. The icing on the cake was when several people got their drivers licences renewed sporting huge handlebar and other bushy mustaches.
Me, I get a bit of peach fuzz if I'm really patient.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 2:57 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Cute girls with unshaven legs would be an awful lot easier as a trend.
posted by lioness at 3:27 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by lioness at 3:27 PM on August 21, 2009
Welly welly well! Please say hello to: my real stache; my fake stache; useyourmachinegunarm's stache. And she plays a mean uke, too!
posted by ludwig_van at 4:04 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by ludwig_van at 4:04 PM on August 21, 2009
I just uploaded a picture of my kid as my profile picture. I dare you to find a cuter girl with a moustache.
posted by Sublimity at 5:16 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Sublimity at 5:16 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Frida Kahlo had a unibrow, a moustache, and, apparently, pubic hair, and was beautiful and brilliant - one of my favorite cute girls with (real) moustaches ever. There are tons of current actresses, models and sundry female sex symbols who would have similar characteristics if they weren't constantly plucked and waxed. Cute girls with mustaches is not really that surprising... It's only amusing that it may be a mini-fad to sport the fake thing while obliterating any sign of the real thing. Methinks their upper lips doth protest too much!
posted by taz at 5:22 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by taz at 5:22 PM on August 21, 2009
I have a rocking invisible Fu Manchu, and I'm okay with it. I wouldn't want to parody it in marker, makeup or plastic. Respect the invisible moustache.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:24 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:24 PM on August 21, 2009
Not to derail the thread or anything, but I may be reaching a point where the mere mention of the word 'hipster' is going to drive me over the edge. There are a few words left that grate on my nerves more than that one, but they're dropping like flies.
posted by Brak at 5:32 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by Brak at 5:32 PM on August 21, 2009
uke/moustache it's been done or, there is this.
posted by HuronBob at 6:16 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 6:16 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
This doesn't make much sense to me.
Hipsterism never does.
posted by MikeMc at 6:31 PM on August 21, 2009
Hipsterism never does.
posted by MikeMc at 6:31 PM on August 21, 2009
So, are these mustaches being worn ironically (in the free of actual irony hipster sense of the word)?
posted by MikeMc at 6:32 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by MikeMc at 6:32 PM on August 21, 2009
I'm going for the hipster trifecta in an attempt to drive Brak over the edge. And I'm doing it ironically.
posted by MikeMc at 6:34 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by MikeMc at 6:34 PM on August 21, 2009
I think it's just that since it became trendy to shave all pubic hair, they had to find a new way to talk about the carpet matching the drapes....
So...what exactly do you think that faux facial hair is made of? Perhaps the two trends are inextricably linked.
posted by MikeMc at 6:36 PM on August 21, 2009
So...what exactly do you think that faux facial hair is made of? Perhaps the two trends are inextricably linked.
posted by MikeMc at 6:36 PM on August 21, 2009
Ahem.
Congratulations, fixedgear. You've found the single most meanspirited page on the entire internets!
Somebody's never been to 4chan...
posted by MikeMc at 6:42 PM on August 21, 2009
For once, I'm way ahead of the curve here...
On a roadtrip back in 1992 Some friends and I once bought fake moustaches at a truckstop that inexplicably had a fully stocked novelty rack. Whoopee cushions, googly eye glasses,the whole nine. We spent the whole next day wearing fake 'staches and cracking each other up. The fake mousstaches were cheap and fell apart after a day or two, so we thought up the "finger stache" One finger over the lip = John Waters. 3 fingers over the lip= Tom Selleck. Two index fingers touching tip-to-tip andcurled downwards= the elusive handlebar. Of course, over the next year, moustaches became our stupid inside joke. Fake ones, growing out real ones. moustache on a stick... One friend even lost a bet and had to wear a hitler stache for a whole day. I think he lasted about 20 minutes.
The following year, the Beastie Boys Sabotage video came out, and suddenly our inside joke seemed kind of played out and mainstream.
But I guess that was long enough ago that this is the revival?
posted by billyfleetwood at 7:00 PM on August 21, 2009
On a roadtrip back in 1992 Some friends and I once bought fake moustaches at a truckstop that inexplicably had a fully stocked novelty rack. Whoopee cushions, googly eye glasses,the whole nine. We spent the whole next day wearing fake 'staches and cracking each other up. The fake mousstaches were cheap and fell apart after a day or two, so we thought up the "finger stache" One finger over the lip = John Waters. 3 fingers over the lip= Tom Selleck. Two index fingers touching tip-to-tip andcurled downwards= the elusive handlebar. Of course, over the next year, moustaches became our stupid inside joke. Fake ones, growing out real ones. moustache on a stick... One friend even lost a bet and had to wear a hitler stache for a whole day. I think he lasted about 20 minutes.
The following year, the Beastie Boys Sabotage video came out, and suddenly our inside joke seemed kind of played out and mainstream.
But I guess that was long enough ago that this is the revival?
posted by billyfleetwood at 7:00 PM on August 21, 2009
Good call on the Frida 'stache Taz. Her work was more of a teenage crush type thing for me, but her self portraits, those will live on.
Here are a couple of girls who don't have mustaches, but they are super cute, and one is wearing furry ears, so... close enough.
posted by vronsky at 7:32 PM on August 21, 2009
Here are a couple of girls who don't have mustaches, but they are super cute, and one is wearing furry ears, so... close enough.
posted by vronsky at 7:32 PM on August 21, 2009
Sorry if I'm underwhelmed.
Do not google Buck Angel.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 7:35 PM on August 21, 2009
Do not google Buck Angel.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 7:35 PM on August 21, 2009
Can somebody please link me to where I can buy a girl beard that some earnest craftswoman (or man) knitted out of small-farm raised lamb wool before I absolutely die of being uncool?
posted by shownomercy at 7:49 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by shownomercy at 7:49 PM on August 21, 2009
So, are these mustaches being worn ironically
I believe they are being worn philtrustically.
Pardon my declension.
posted by pengale at 8:16 PM on August 21, 2009
I believe they are being worn philtrustically.
Pardon my declension.
posted by pengale at 8:16 PM on August 21, 2009
GRAB YOUR MUSTACHE AND YOUR POORLY-LIT WHITE-IMBALANCED GIRLFRI—oh, are we not doing that anymore
posted by shadytrees at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2009
posted by shadytrees at 9:20 PM on August 21, 2009
Do not google Buck Angel.
You give great advice I should have taken.
posted by dabcad at 9:45 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
You give great advice I should have taken.
posted by dabcad at 9:45 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]
Friendly muttonchops.
posted by DeltaForce at 12:10 PM on August 22, 2009
posted by DeltaForce at 12:10 PM on August 22, 2009
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posted by vronsky at 12:21 PM on August 21, 2009 [1 favorite]