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August 22, 2009 9:50 PM   Subscribe

Amazon: wtf
posted by madamjujujive (121 comments total) 70 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank"

Yep. And I do need one!
posted by jessamyn at 9:51 PM on August 22, 2009


"Deer Rear" is my new favorite Amazon item.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:53 PM on August 22, 2009


There's a surprising amount of overlap with the "fap fap fap" tag.
posted by Nattie at 9:55 PM on August 22, 2009


Knitting With Dog Hair?! I...what?
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:02 PM on August 22, 2009


Quite.
posted by kenko at 10:04 PM on August 22, 2009


Showing products tagged
wtf and also
• fap fap fap
• toilet monster
• cheerleading


...hey! a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank!

I'm thinking... jessamyn's birthday is coming up....
posted by not_on_display at 10:05 PM on August 22, 2009


I had a penpal back in middle school from Florida named Amos, and he had the dirtiest mind. He taught me everything I know about dead baby jokes.

He mocked me for being so formal in my letters, always addressing them with the header, "Dear Amos." Kind of became a running gag.

I really wish one of those listed items was available so I could send it to him with a note simply saying, "Deer Anus."
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 10:06 PM on August 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


"Help others find the most relevant wtf products"

Uh, yeah, Amazon. Sure thing.
posted by fearthehat at 10:08 PM on August 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Consumerism is awesome. Or was that awful? I keep mixing them up.

(Really, though, I'm thrilled to have been reminded about Tuscan Whole Milk - the reviews continue to be top-notch after all this time. The Raven parody? Seriously? Fuck yeah!)
posted by Tomorrowful at 10:10 PM on August 22, 2009


**The birth control :> > time cube??
posted by sloe at 10:10 PM on August 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


This may be the perfect MetaFilter post.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:10 PM on August 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


"Are these related to fap fap fap? Vote here."
posted by Flunkie at 10:11 PM on August 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is supposed to be a clean site? Then why the reference to profanity?
posted by vvurdsmyth at 10:11 PM on August 22, 2009


Here's the product description for the Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank:
The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.
Here are other equally WTF products from NAO Design including such stunners as Weener Kleener Soap, Wedding Chapel and Roswell Soil Sample.
posted by Kattullus at 10:11 PM on August 22, 2009


Does God Love Michael's Two Daddies?

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought:
"I Can Has Cheezburger? : A LOLcat Colleckshun"

...wtf, indeed.
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 10:13 PM on August 22, 2009


"Marilyn Manson _____s: Confession______"

Exhibit A; Exhibit B
posted by Sys Rq at 10:14 PM on August 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


pfffft the Badonkadonk has been known of for years.

Inflatable toast, however, is a new pleasure.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 10:24 PM on August 22, 2009


This review of "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz" (3rd on the WTF list for me) is pretty good.
posted by milquetoast at 10:25 PM on August 22, 2009 [19 favorites]


Thank you for this. That self-published all-caps illiterate birth control rant is a treat, the table of contents alone is mind-boggling and I love that it costs $135.00. The mock book reviews are hilarious:

"WHENEVER I ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE CAPS LOCK KEY IN THE PAST, A LITTLE LIGHT WOULD COME ON. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT LIGHT WAS JESUS TRYING TO GET AT MY BRAIN."

The reviews of the gallon of milk are also inspired.
posted by longsleeves at 10:29 PM on August 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


I've had the Badonkadonk on my wishlist for years, but no one has ever bought it for me. I finally moved it to a separate wishlist of things I don't expect.
posted by crataegus at 10:32 PM on August 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sys Rq: apparently those are the second and third installments of a trilogy.
posted by kenko at 10:32 PM on August 22, 2009


I'm unconvinced that this item will not have a negative effect on underwear everywhere.
posted by stagewhisper at 10:34 PM on August 22, 2009


Oh my god there are 1,103 reviews of Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gallon.
posted by ORthey at 10:37 PM on August 22, 2009


Metafilter: wtf
posted by geekyguy at 10:45 PM on August 22, 2009


Much cheaper than an Aeron
posted by madamjujujive at 10:46 PM on August 22, 2009


Don't miss the customer image gallery for Tuscan Milk
posted by madamjujujive at 10:51 PM on August 22, 2009 [8 favorites]


Why yes, I am in the market for some Uranium Ore AND a Wedding Chapel With Wooden Roof.

Check and check.

Christmas shopping done early!
posted by P.o.B. at 10:54 PM on August 22, 2009


'How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children'. Heh, well that's dinner planned for tonight. Thanks MJJ, you are a truly gifted magnet for the weird.
posted by peacay at 11:01 PM on August 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is supposed to be a clean site? Then why the reference to profanity?

Kinda new here, vvurdsmyth? I suspect Metafilter is not the kind of place you think it is.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:06 PM on August 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


2006 called

It wants it's memes back
posted by delmoi at 11:08 PM on August 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank

I swear I saw one of these on the Playa last year.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:11 PM on August 22, 2009


Metafilter: Not the kind of place you think it is.
posted by Diagonalize at 11:15 PM on August 22, 2009


I like the title of the top review for Uranium Ore :

So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore
posted by Afroblanco at 11:15 PM on August 22, 2009 [9 favorites]


Oh jeez. This is too much.

A Million Random Digits is a dull and dry read, but strangely, not repetitive at all.

Some day, I'm going to have kids and buy them the Playmobil Safe Crackers, so they learn how to do it right, dammit.

But not the Inflatable Party Sheep. That's for mommy and daddy to enjoy.
posted by Afroblanco at 11:25 PM on August 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Zubaz.

Fuck yeah.

Thank you.
posted by dersins at 11:37 PM on August 22, 2009


A Million Random Digits is a dull and dry read, but strangely, not repetitive at all.

Really? You should return it as defective.
posted by prak at 11:48 PM on August 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


PeterMcDermott, there are plenty of raunchy sites. Would you think it cool if MetaFilter becomes another cesspool of profanity?
posted by vvurdsmyth at 11:50 PM on August 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


The zipper on the bag was broken.. I did not complain because POOP FREEZE is really in a very large text. I needed something to take to the park with me. I have 4 dogs and one of them eats a lot of grass. She often leaves something to soft to pick up. They don't explain you not only have to take the can out but then find and put the straw on..not easy with 1,2,3 or 4 dogs on leashes. Then the item does freeze the mess but also the grass. Also you need to turn the item over and freeze the back "according to the instructions".. I have been unable to do this. I guess its an art... like... flipping pancakes. The freeze spray does help but don't expect it to be anything like the commercial.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:51 PM on August 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Would you think it cool if MetaFilter becomes another cesspool of profanity?

*thumbs up*

Well, thumbs up somewhere, I guess.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:54 PM on August 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's like some strange and wonderful Roald Dahl bizarro yard sale. Tanks, Uranium Ore, Balls of Fury DVD starring Christopher Walken and Wolf Urine...
posted by Skygazer at 11:58 PM on August 22, 2009


Not for the faint of heart... check out the Sweet Sue Whole (gasp) Chicken in a Can user photo gallery. Oh man.

Also, it's nice to see the free market working so well. The Tuscan Whole Milk used to cost as much as $2500/gal. Thanks to the Internet's ability to eliminate information disparities, the price has shrunk to just $69.99.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 12:04 AM on August 23, 2009


Woah woah woah, who got the cesspool in my profanity? This is the good shit, not that sheezy you dunk into just any standing water, jeez! Where's my fucking Britta?
posted by carsonb at 12:05 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Forbidden LEGO: Build the Models Your Parents Warned You Against! (Paperback)

posted by KokuRyu at 12:15 AM on August 23, 2009


Cess? Yess!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:16 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Recess.
posted by longsleeves at 12:20 AM on August 23, 2009


Gawbless this mess.
posted by carsonb at 12:23 AM on August 23, 2009


Metafilter: another cesspool of profanity
posted by prak at 12:46 AM on August 23, 2009


Would you think it cool if MetaFilter becomes another cesspool of profanity?

I understand that not everyone likes profanity, and I don't think anyone should have to see it if they don't want to. Mefites do, however, on occasion, use profanity. If you don't want to see it, avoid threads containing the following tags:

1. politics
2. christianity
3. healthcare
4. dawkins
5. film
6. steampunk
7. vaccinations
8. climatechange
9. secondammendment
10. art
11. technology
12. physics
13. iraq
14. afghanistan
15. israel
16. palestine
17. alaska
18. sci-fi
19. arcwelding
20. abortion
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:46 AM on August 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


It's really more of a cess Slip 'n Slide.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:53 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


or a cess and desist slippery slope...
posted by Skygazer at 12:58 AM on August 23, 2009


Oh man, reviewing this post totally jacked up the personal recommendations Amazon provides for me.
posted by jabberjaw at 12:58 AM on August 23, 2009


The way my dad does it, arc welding involves profanity at a much higher level than 19.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:59 AM on August 23, 2009 [6 favorites]


arcwelding? WTF?? Please don't feed the arcwelding trolls. thank you.
posted by Skygazer at 12:59 AM on August 23, 2009 [5 favorites]


I never said they were the Top 20 Profanity Inducing-Tags; they're just in random order. I'd sort them but I think arc welding ties with vaccinations.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:02 AM on August 23, 2009


I think you should include the tag for "Chicken-in-a-Can" in that list.
posted by Skygazer at 1:05 AM on August 23, 2009


The badonkadonk is still just a golf-cart with some sheetmetal and fake rust. Get a proper tank instead.
posted by Authorized User at 1:07 AM on August 23, 2009


METAFILTER HAS 4 CORNER
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
PROFANITY CUBE
Mefites are DUMB stupid HEATHENS that say FUCK SHIT and MOTHERFUCKER. Jesus will come and strike them for joining the CESSPOOL COMPLEX with FOUR SIDED PROFANITY CUBE.

To return SPACE and TIME to the CUBED ANTI-PROFANITY messiah universe please contact:

cocsucker@earthlink.net
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 1:09 AM on August 23, 2009 [12 favorites]


Meet The Feebles. If any movie deserved the wtf tag, this is it.
posted by benzenedream at 1:12 AM on August 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


This review of "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz" (3rd on the WTF list for me) is pretty good.
posted by milquetoast at 10:25 PM on August 22 [5 favorites -] Favorite added! [!]


I wish I could favorite this comment twice.
posted by mosk at 1:17 AM on August 23, 2009


What do customers buy after ultimately viewing this item?

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!
posted by benzo8 at 1:26 AM on August 23, 2009


Zubaz.

Oh, early 1990s how I miss you so.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:15 AM on August 23, 2009


Oh dear God: "Big Daddy's Girl Hooker Prostitute Sexy Luxurious Crushed Velvet with Leopard Trim Costume Adult Teen Fits Size 2-8."

Speechless.

Also, that tank that Jess wants is only $20K. Between 95000 or so of us, that's easily affordable. And it's customisable! She could get one with a big MeFi logo on one side. That would be awesome. Put a donk on it, MeFites.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:34 AM on August 23, 2009


Would you think it cool if MetaFilter becomes another cesspool of profanity?

As I said before, vvurdsmith -- Metafilter is not the kind of place that you think it is.

See above for more details.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:49 AM on August 23, 2009


If you don't want to see it, avoid threads containing the following tags...

Marisa, how did 'batshitinsane' not make it onto this list of tags??
posted by Avelwood at 3:21 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


vvurdsmyth: "This is supposed to be a clean site? Then why the reference to profanity?"

I'm interested in where MetaFilter was supposed to be a clean site... Who actually told you that, or where did you read it?

Or, by "supposed", do you mean "I want! I want! I want!"?

And what the fuck is a "clean site", any way? And who'd want to visit it?
posted by benzo8 at 3:34 AM on August 23, 2009


"And what the fuck is a "clean site", any way? And who'd want to visit it?"

Presumably, a site without profanity, sexual discussion, etc. And that doesn't mean it's necessarily bad. Same with music, art, film, etc. "Clean" doesn't necessarily mean "bad" or "boring", unless you're a twelve-year old with a burning desire to watch only R rated movies. But, on the other hand, "un-clean" doesn't necessarily mean "bad" or "boring" either, unless you're in the PMRC. There is a place for clean, there is a place for un-clean, and there is a place for a mix of clean and un-clean. MeFi is, and as long as I can remember, always has been, a mix of clean and un-clean. No reason to change now.
posted by Bugbread at 3:44 AM on August 23, 2009


A site that proscribes "clean" though, does (to me) mean "bad" and "boring". MeFi, as you say, has a good, natural balance, but we have the freedom to express ourselves as and how we choose when the need (or mood) dictates. It's worked well for the last 10 years, and long may it remain so.
posted by benzo8 at 3:51 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have had it with these motherfucking derails on this motherfucking thread!
posted by dirty lies at 3:55 AM on August 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


Wow, I've actually bought something off this list! I purchased A Million Random Digits as a gift for a friend.

I can't believe they're charging $81 for a paperback reprint. As I recall, I was able to find an original 1955 hardcover for about $100. It was in great condition, having been checked out of the Stanford Medical Library only once in fifty years.
posted by ryanrs at 4:17 AM on August 23, 2009


I have had it with these motherfucking derails on this motherfucking thread!

Hey, hey, settle. Relax. Do some sudoku.
posted by billysumday at 4:56 AM on August 23, 2009


I bought A Million Random Digits for myself a few years ago. I got a new paperback fairly cheap and can't fathom why it's now so expensive. Heck, you can download it free from the Rand Corp.

Also, I just added the inflatable toast to my wishlist.
posted by cropshy at 5:08 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I can't be the only MeFite who immediately ordered the Bacon Flavored Lip Balm, can I?
posted by trip and a half at 5:20 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Who knew?
posted by caddis at 5:29 AM on August 23, 2009


Sadly, the Inflatable Bondage Chair is no longer available used, so you'll have to pony up for a new one.
posted by dellsolace at 6:00 AM on August 23, 2009


People who bought that Bondage Chair also bought copies of The Last Colony by MeFi's own jscalzi.

People who bought the Badonkadonk Land Cruiser also bought a 6 pack of Renova Black Toilet Paper.

I'm sensing something meaningful in these relationships, but I haven't quite figured out what it is yet.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:09 AM on August 23, 2009


4 of 6 people found the following review helpful
posted by Captain Cardanthian! at 6:26 AM on August 23, 2009


Would you think it cool if MetaFilter becomes another cesspool of profanity?

No, no. I prefer it to remain a hive of scum and villainy.
posted by The Bellman at 6:26 AM on August 23, 2009 [10 favorites]


carsonb: "Where's my fucking Britta?"

Right here.
posted by subbes at 6:27 AM on August 23, 2009


Sadly, the Inflatable Bondage Chair is no longer available used, so you'll have to pony up for a new one.

Maybe it's just as well:
Inflatable party sheep available from these sellers.
1 new from $16.99
1 used from $999.00


Amazon lists this in the department 'Everything Else.' Indeed.
posted by Killick at 6:31 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have no idea whether vvurdsmyth is serious or (as our U.K. members say) taking the piss, but his contribution has ramped this thread up from classic to SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS.

Personal to vvurdsmyth: you should read my book!
posted by languagehat at 6:38 AM on August 23, 2009


People who bought that Bondage Chair also bought copies of The Last Colony by MeFi's own jscalzi.

People who bought the Uranium Ore also bought The Last Colony. I burn to see this person's Saturday night goodtimes checklist.
posted by elizardbits at 6:38 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is supposed to be a clean site? Then why the reference to profanity?

This is not, in any way, supposed to be a clean site.
posted by jessamyn at 6:41 AM on August 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


You'd have to be an idiot to buy a tank that didn't have horizontal slots that you can stick a chainsaw out of.
posted by digsrus at 6:46 AM on August 23, 2009 [7 favorites]


jessamyn, I think you may want to talk to Billy Bob before purchasing a Badonkadonk. He has some interesting things to say:

I bought one of these Donks 'cause I thought the cops wouldn't hastle me in it. Since it aint road legal I figured it wouldn't matter that I don't got a driver's license anymore (It's that kinda "outa the box" thinkin that's got me where I am in life). I figured when the cops said "Billy, you know you aint supposed to be drivin a car anymore" I could say "I aint drivin a car, I'm drivin a Donk" and then crank up "Freebird" on my 400 Watt stereo as I lay down a thick patch of rubber with the 6hp fire-breathin power plant and maybe let out a rebel yell as I go up on 2 wheels and squeeze between the 2 squad cars they had set up as a road block. Then when they pulled out their guns and tried to stop me the bullets would just rikoshay off my trusty Donk as I glance matter-of-factly into the rear view mirror and flick the ash off my Marlboro in symbolic contempt of the agressors what I had just thwarted.
posted by P.o.B. at 7:03 AM on August 23, 2009 [9 favorites]


This is supposed to be a clean site? Then why the reference to profanity?

This is not, in any way, supposed to be a clean site.


For that matter, where's the profanity? The link in the OP goes to that noted den of depravity, Amazon.com. The only conceivably rude words, prior to vvurdsmyth's post, are 'deer anus' and 'fuck yeah'. Seems fairly mild to me.
posted by Infinite Jest at 7:05 AM on August 23, 2009


For that matter, where's the profanity?

Yeah, wtf?
posted by carsonb at 7:08 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have had it with these motherfuckingmonkey-fighting derails on this motherfuckingMonday-to-Friday thread!
posted by stopgap at 7:11 AM on August 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


I should have bought A Million Random Digits when I first noticed it, back when it was more like $20. Oh well. Downloading it just doesn't seem the same.
posted by Casuistry at 7:33 AM on August 23, 2009


not_on_display said: I'm thinking... jessamyn's birthday is coming up....

While I agree that a fully armored recreational vehicle would be nice for Vermont and periodic forays into our Neighbor to the North, I think it's important to remember that UPS won't deliver it to your door, and as one reviewer has mentioned, "This item will not fit in the trunk of a Corvette." Ergo, the only logical thing would be for us to chip in to buy it, but then also show up to help unpack and deliver it.

Mefi roadrip!
posted by dejah420 at 7:42 AM on August 23, 2009


The Bonkadonk and knitting with dog hair is yesterday's news lining the canary cage but the Chicken Poop Lip Balm...Whoa daddy-o. One review states:
It has a great name and really is a great product, I would and have recommended Chicken Poop to anyone...and there is a story behind the name.
Sadly, the product description provokes rather than enlightens:
Put it on your lips, put it on your finger tips, put it just about anywhere your skin organ is needing a bit of TLC. Chicken Poop is made of th (sic)
"Made of th" ? Don't leave me hanging, Simone Chickenbone!

Moreover, the people who purchase chicken poop lip balm also have an incredible fondness for Sudoku. A mystery inside of a riddle wrapped up in an enigma
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:55 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz
3 used & new available from $69.99


So long, suckers! I'm saving big money by buying used. Let someone else take the first depreciation hit for me.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:08 AM on August 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Chicken Poop lip balm is actually amazing - I happened across it in a Walgreens in southwest Missouri and bought it just because I thought the name was funny, but it turns out to be one of the best lip balms ever. And it tastes like citrus, not like chicken poop. Yummy.

The Chicken Poop backstory, which I didn't see on the Amazon page anywhere, is that one of the creators of the product would get chapped lips and lick them in that absentminded way one does when one doesn't have a good lip balm handy, and her grandfather would say, "If you don't stop licking your lips, I'm going to put chicken poop on them!" There is not chicken poop in the product.
posted by naoko at 8:09 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


That BIRTH CONTROL book made my brain hurt until I saw it was on sale for only $135, a savings of 15 US dollars. Now you can afford to buy one for your spouse, even though he or she is lacking in the HOLYSPIRIT LIFE.
posted by tommasz at 8:21 AM on August 23, 2009


I would think that just owning the BIRTH CONTROL BOOK would be a form of birth control.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:25 AM on August 23, 2009


Trombone slide lubricant. That's just crying out to be put in someone's Christmas stocking.
posted by ninazer0 at 8:48 AM on August 23, 2009


Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Seven Words You Can't Can Say On Television Metafilter.

Among many, many others.

(nb: this is the original routine, audio only, not his repeated, expanded ones)
posted by tzikeh at 8:50 AM on August 23, 2009


Part of my job involves telling ad agencies not to swear on television. I have to come here to remind myself of the dirty words. Please don't make it a clean site - think of the children!
posted by mippy at 9:01 AM on August 23, 2009


Some forum posters cuss at home /
but are scared to used profanity when up on the microphone

posted by porn in the woods at 9:18 AM on August 23, 2009


A HOLYSPIRIT DIRECTED BOOK FROM GOD; & *CHRIST JESUS.

No wonder it's all screwed up, she doesn't know how to handle pointers. This askme might clear it all up.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 9:38 AM on August 23, 2009


raynrs: Wow, I've actually bought something off this list! I purchased A Million Random Digits as a gift for a friend.

I'm wondering on the actual quality of that "randomness." For one thing there no such thing as randomness in infinity, and for another thing the only true generator of randomness is derived from chaos and creation, in other words: imagination, in other words life...and if you'd want to extend those conditions to their logical end, I guess you could also call it "God," which makes the book one of a theological or ontological nature. The machine languae of God or something. Also once a million random digits becomes "A Million Random Digits" within structure and framework such as that inherent in a book otr any unrandom document (artifact?), doesn't it pretty much shoot itself in the foot and instantly undo its own randomness becoming in fact unrandom and a closed mechanized totalitarian system, and the root of suffering and death, a tyranny of sorts??

Hmmmm.

*Strokes chin. Goes back to dreaming of owning a Badonkbadonk tank, because it looks like something out of Logan's Run TV series.*
posted by Skygazer at 9:51 AM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


There's nothing an Englishman likes better than a mouthful of Spotted Dick
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:23 AM on August 23, 2009


Trombone slide lubricant.

Presumably essential for a Rusty Trombone?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:25 AM on August 23, 2009


Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool!
posted by box at 12:09 PM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


I really love this review.
posted by orme at 12:42 PM on August 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sorry, that sounded way to clean. I meant...

I really want to fuck this review, hard.
posted by orme at 12:44 PM on August 23, 2009


Marisa, how did 'batshitinsane' not make it onto this list of tags??

I'm just one person!

On review, it looks like the "broccoli" tag needs to be added to the list as well. Hm. Maybe a shorter list would be Tags of Threads Absent of Profanity.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:00 PM on August 23, 2009


Bugs Bunny is comin' over for supper tonight. Fuck yeah.
posted by Skygazer at 1:27 PM on August 23, 2009


You know, when I opened the link for the Forbidden LEGO models, I was insanely disappointed...
posted by sara is disenchanted at 1:42 PM on August 23, 2009


Those of you thinking of buying A Million Random Digits should know that its author was exposed as a fake by Oprah.
posted by CCBC at 1:55 PM on August 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


Those of you thinking of buying A Million Random Digits should know that its author was exposed as a fake by Oprah.

That's right -- they weren't random at all. He chose them .... ON PURPOSE!
posted by Afroblanco at 2:10 PM on August 23, 2009


The reviews on this $500 cable are priceless.
posted by mr. strange at 3:29 PM on August 23, 2009 [8 favorites]


tags i found via the wtf tag:
•keeping america stupid
•breathtaking inanity.

my world has become so much brighter.
posted by aliceinreality at 3:32 PM on August 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm wondering on the actual quality of that "randomness."

The book contains a pretty thorough discussion of how the numbers were generated.
posted by ryanrs at 4:03 PM on August 23, 2009


"While I'm sure the rabbit tastes fine, I have to wonder... why does the part where Amazon shows what people who bought this item also bought display four enema devices and one teeny tiny thong?

I'm kind of horrified."

posted by jason's_planet at 7:56 PM on August 23, 2009 [2 favorites]


There's also Amazon Oddities.
posted by nbergus at 8:55 PM on August 23, 2009


The reviews on this $500 cable are priceless.

The "Customers who purchased related items also bought..." list is filled with replica skulls...
posted by Avelwood at 12:02 AM on August 24, 2009


Amazon's a ripoff. The InvisibleHand Firefox extension tells me you can get that BIRTH CONTROL book for a penny cheaper at Buy.com.

Although, I don't think you can click from BIRTH CONTROL IS ROBING GODS TEMPLE PREIST'S to this on Buy.com.
posted by anthom at 7:42 AM on August 24, 2009


Knitting With Dog Hair?! I...what?

Not as crazy as you'd think -- dog hair is like any other kind of fiber (wool = sheep hair, cashmere = yak hair, angora = rabbit hair, etc.), and so some hobbyists have tried spinning it into yarn out of curiosity. They've had some success -- usually you have to add another kind of fiber to it to get it to work, and hair from longer-breed dogs works better, but people have been able to spin yarn out of doghair.

I mean, granted, it's still pretty crazy, but at least it's not a concept beamed in from Jupiter on someone's tooth fillings or anything like that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:10 AM on August 24, 2009


i note that the uranium ore has also been tagged by 11 people as a "poor catnip substitute"
posted by fay at 3:59 PM on August 24, 2009 [2 favorites]


I love that the user supplied pictures for the $500 cable include a pic of some lollipops.
posted by clerestory at 6:52 PM on August 24, 2009


The reviews on this $500 cable are priceless.

As are the tags.
posted by Skygazer at 9:34 PM on August 24, 2009


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