The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan is guarded by gross perverts.
September 1, 2009 4:00 PM Subscribe
The contractor was the subject of a congressional probe earlier this summer that found serious lapses in the company's handling of the embassy security contract, which internal State Department documents said left the embassy compound "in jeopardy." Nevertheless, the government opted to extend the company's 5-year, $189 million contract for another year.
Really. The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan is known to be poorly guarded by a bunch of fools and their contract is extended? That's just not right.
posted by scrutiny at 4:08 PM on September 1, 2009
Really. The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan is known to be poorly guarded by a bunch of fools and their contract is extended? That's just not right.
posted by scrutiny at 4:08 PM on September 1, 2009
I saw this earlier, but having grown up in a town that contained a military base, it was less than shocking.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
This makes me think that heterosexuals have no right serving in the military.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [60 favorites]
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [60 favorites]
How can anyone work for a company named "Wackenhut" in good conscience?
"Wackenhut"?
Come on. Really. What 12 year-old marketing consultant thought that up?
posted by GuyZero at 4:10 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
"Wackenhut"?
Come on. Really. What 12 year-old marketing consultant thought that up?
posted by GuyZero at 4:10 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
Looks like my university's rugby team's socials.
posted by knapah at 4:12 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by knapah at 4:12 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Color me confused. Isn't the military supposed to be guarding things like US Embassies? Is it really cheaper to pay some company to guard diplomats than to have US Marines do it? Especially considering the miserable record of private firms doing the military's job?
Meh...militarism isn't what it used to be.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 4:13 PM on September 1, 2009
Meh...militarism isn't what it used to be.
posted by Salvor Hardin at 4:13 PM on September 1, 2009
Another good reason we should be sending old men to fight their own wars. They are (usually) experienced enough not to take pictures of themselves sniffing each other's butts.
posted by DU at 4:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by DU at 4:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
eating potato chips out of [buttock] cracks
This is an example of editing "naughty" words gone wrong. I'm sure the original content was "ass" or "butt" crack, but it's my understanding that while a person has one butt or ass, there are 2 buttocks. The sentence would be better served as "...chips [from between buttocks]," but sometimes I wonder why mature, adult journalism seems to flinch when vulgar language is involved. Is there something wrong with just reporting it as it was said, so long as the article's writing itself is refined?
Metafilter: Overthinking a [buttock] of potato chips.
posted by explosion at 4:17 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
This is an example of editing "naughty" words gone wrong. I'm sure the original content was "ass" or "butt" crack, but it's my understanding that while a person has one butt or ass, there are 2 buttocks. The sentence would be better served as "...chips [from between buttocks]," but sometimes I wonder why mature, adult journalism seems to flinch when vulgar language is involved. Is there something wrong with just reporting it as it was said, so long as the article's writing itself is refined?
Metafilter: Overthinking a [buttock] of potato chips.
posted by explosion at 4:17 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
LOLUSA!!!
posted by stinkycheese at 4:17 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by stinkycheese at 4:17 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Every so often I reconsider my opinion of soldiers and mercenaries, and never does the available evidence improve it.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:19 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:19 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I believe the original was just "cracks."
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:20 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 4:20 PM on September 1, 2009
Color me confused. Isn't the military supposed to be guarding things like US Embassies? Is it really cheaper to pay some company to guard diplomats than to have US Marines do it? Especially considering the miserable record of private firms doing the military's job?
There are not enough troops in Afghanistan to 'waste' them on guarding embassies, hence they employ morons like this who are politically less problematic if they die.
They've bid on the contract, offered a low price, provide shitty service, and allow infantile idiots with military fetishes to have a holiday in the sun. They may occasionally also get to kill some brown people.
The increasingly cosy relationship between the US government and private military contractors has been a worrying trend for quite some time.
posted by knapah at 4:20 PM on September 1, 2009 [14 favorites]
There are not enough troops in Afghanistan to 'waste' them on guarding embassies, hence they employ morons like this who are politically less problematic if they die.
They've bid on the contract, offered a low price, provide shitty service, and allow infantile idiots with military fetishes to have a holiday in the sun. They may occasionally also get to kill some brown people.
The increasingly cosy relationship between the US government and private military contractors has been a worrying trend for quite some time.
posted by knapah at 4:20 PM on September 1, 2009 [14 favorites]
Also, what the hell is up with military outsourcing of jobs to begin with? I would figure there'd be some sort of pride thing that would keep them from doing that:
"General, we need 10 men to guard the embassy. I'm going to call up Blackwater..."
"Hell no you don't! An Army soldier can outclass some civilian mercenary-wannabe any day of the week."
posted by explosion at 4:21 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
"General, we need 10 men to guard the embassy. I'm going to call up Blackwater..."
"Hell no you don't! An Army soldier can outclass some civilian mercenary-wannabe any day of the week."
posted by explosion at 4:21 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
Based on looking at the pictures, I am guessing the issue is that it is insensitive to the conservative mores of that area for these mercenaries to be engaging in drunken gay orgies?
posted by idiopath at 4:28 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by idiopath at 4:28 PM on September 1, 2009
If only there was some kind of highly trained, disciplined fighting force we could use to guard our embassies in hostile territory. Maybe they could even swear an oath and have their own system of courts so they would not be totally unaccountable and rampantly detrimental to our core mission of gaining hearts and minds.
Oh well, better try another private contractor... let's see... Jizzwater Deathpocalips GmbH seems trustworthy
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:29 PM on September 1, 2009 [35 favorites]
Oh well, better try another private contractor... let's see... Jizzwater Deathpocalips GmbH seems trustworthy
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:29 PM on September 1, 2009 [35 favorites]
I'm pretty sure that the outsourcing of military jobs has less to do with being cheaper than having the Marines do it than with the Federal government's primary function; to wit, shovelling tax money to private corporations. It's not cheaper to outsource this stuff, but it must be in some way beneficial to those making the decisions for it to be done this way.
posted by nowonmai at 4:33 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by nowonmai at 4:33 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
Oh, mercenary military homoeroticism, what won't you make hilarious?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
Color me confused. Isn't the military supposed to be guarding things like US Embassies? Is it really cheaper to pay some company to guard diplomats than to have US Marines do it?
No, this is all part of the Republican effort to downsize government by privatizing it as much as possible and funneling bloated contracts to their friends. Thanks to the efficiency of the free market, taxpayers get to pay double and triple what they would have paid if they used our own soldiers.
posted by MegoSteve at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
No, this is all part of the Republican effort to downsize government by privatizing it as much as possible and funneling bloated contracts to their friends. Thanks to the efficiency of the free market, taxpayers get to pay double and triple what they would have paid if they used our own soldiers.
posted by MegoSteve at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [7 favorites]
Jizzwater are totally corrupt. I always use Penisrubbing for my mercenary needs. Or Fappingplace.
posted by GuyZero at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by GuyZero at 4:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
It's not up to the military whether these jobs get outsourced. Also, I love "public-private partnerships" - all the cost of the private sector with twice the incompetence and waste of the public sector. Go USA!
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 4:35 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by R_Nebblesworth at 4:35 PM on September 1, 2009
Chalk one up for private industry...
Also: Is it just the links I'm drawn to, or has it been a little MotherJonesFilter in here as of late?
posted by Avelwood at 4:37 PM on September 1, 2009
Also: Is it just the links I'm drawn to, or has it been a little MotherJonesFilter in here as of late?
posted by Avelwood at 4:37 PM on September 1, 2009
I think these guys have had a few public private-partnerships iykwim
I'm talking about cock-docking
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:40 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm talking about cock-docking
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:40 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
You go to war with the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors you have -- not the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors you might want or wish to have at a later time.
posted by benzenedream at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [25 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 4:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [25 favorites]
Wackenhut has got to get into the health insurance business. They look about as efficient at providing value for money and just imagine how much better the parties would be.
posted by HyperBlue at 4:48 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by HyperBlue at 4:48 PM on September 1, 2009
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By half-wit contractors
posted by GeckoDundee at 4:59 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By half-wit contractors
posted by GeckoDundee at 4:59 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
You go to war with the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors you have -- not the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors you might want or wish to have at a later time.
Patience.
That sexually frustrated half-wit military you have will eventually become the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors of the future.
posted by pompomtom at 5:01 PM on September 1, 2009
Patience.
That sexually frustrated half-wit military you have will eventually become the sexually frustrated half-wit contractors of the future.
posted by pompomtom at 5:01 PM on September 1, 2009
The contractor was the subject of a congressional probe earlier this summer that found serious lapses in the company's handling of the embassy security contract
In response, the contractor's legal counsel said: "Hehhehheh. Probe."
posted by rokusan at 5:01 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
In response, the contractor's legal counsel said: "Hehhehheh. Probe."
posted by rokusan at 5:01 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
You guys are acting like a bunch of bro-dudes blowing off steam by getting drunk and sucking their bro's cock is gay or something.
posted by The Straightener at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
posted by The Straightener at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
I'm looking at these pictures and it seems like, "Hey, we want to have hot gay sex with each other, but we're NOT GAY, so we'll get naked and sort of pee on each other and smell each others butts instead. That'll work."
Is there a word for funny/sad/obvious truths in the English language?
posted by Avenger at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Is there a word for funny/sad/obvious truths in the English language?
posted by Avenger at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
I've been there before. Even the regular soldiers of America are bloody cowboys. The default response is just to blow shit up, what the hell, they're all potential terrorists... It's that bloody attitude that works against us, gets people killed.
posted by Biru at 5:03 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Biru at 5:03 PM on September 1, 2009
so much depends
upon
a red wacken
hut
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
upon
a red wacken
hut
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
posted by jimmythefish at 5:09 PM on September 1, 2009 [8 favorites]
I'm glad this post avoided the obvious editorializing and as a result has managed to spark a diverse nuanced discussion.
posted by tkchrist at 5:10 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by tkchrist at 5:10 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
"Wackenhut"?
Come on. Really. What 12 year-old marketing consultant thought that up?
Weirder yet, who would hire a company with a name like that? (It's almost as bad as Blackwater!)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:11 PM on September 1, 2009
Come on. Really. What 12 year-old marketing consultant thought that up?
Weirder yet, who would hire a company with a name like that? (It's almost as bad as Blackwater!)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:11 PM on September 1, 2009
The contractor was the subject of a congressional probe earlier this summer that found serious lapses in the company's handling of the embassy security contract
It's OK. Delta House is on Double Secret Probation.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
It's OK. Delta House is on Double Secret Probation.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 5:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [3 favorites]
I don't really see what the big deal is. How can you be for gays in the military, but then get upset about contractors gayin' it up with each other while off duty? They're not off raping afghan women, or running a sex slave ring like DynCorp did in Bosnia.
My guess as to why we don't have the 'real' military doing this is that it's not really all that difficult. 90% of the time you'd be sitting around waiting for something to happen, while the government would want to use real marines to fight insurgents all the time.
Plus, with the military stretched thin, it makes sense to use contractors for some easier tasks. In a way, it's more fair, since contractors can quit whenever they want, and need to be paid 'market' rates.
On the other hand, clearly there is a massive amount of corruption in these contracting companies, so it might be better to expand the military and create a group in the military to perform these kinds of tasks.
posted by delmoi at 5:15 PM on September 1, 2009
My guess as to why we don't have the 'real' military doing this is that it's not really all that difficult. 90% of the time you'd be sitting around waiting for something to happen, while the government would want to use real marines to fight insurgents all the time.
Plus, with the military stretched thin, it makes sense to use contractors for some easier tasks. In a way, it's more fair, since contractors can quit whenever they want, and need to be paid 'market' rates.
On the other hand, clearly there is a massive amount of corruption in these contracting companies, so it might be better to expand the military and create a group in the military to perform these kinds of tasks.
posted by delmoi at 5:15 PM on September 1, 2009
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to guard an embassy, son.
posted by stinkycheese at 5:19 PM on September 1, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by stinkycheese at 5:19 PM on September 1, 2009 [10 favorites]
sometimes I wonder why mature, adult journalism seems to flinch when vulgar language is involved. Is there something wrong with just reporting it as it was said, so long as the article's writing itself is refined?
Won't someone think of the assless children reading Mother Jones ? Clearly, an article delving with graphic detail into the depraved exploits of blueballed private security contractors in Afghanistan is just too classy to contain the sort of vulgarity uttered in an eight-o'clock family sitcom!
*goes through Bible, replaces every "ass" with "buttocks"*
posted by Sys Rq at 5:27 PM on September 1, 2009
Won't someone think of the assless children reading Mother Jones ? Clearly, an article delving with graphic detail into the depraved exploits of blueballed private security contractors in Afghanistan is just too classy to contain the sort of vulgarity uttered in an eight-o'clock family sitcom!
*goes through Bible, replaces every "ass" with "buttocks"*
posted by Sys Rq at 5:27 PM on September 1, 2009
F’ing Wackenhut. Go figure. *slams head*
Google it. Seriously. They’re bastards going way back. Not to mention the recent Peach Bottom thing.
Also:
Louie Louie, oh me
Mi báayad preezzdem
waay waay waay, Wáayem
Louie Louie, oh péeghla
Mi báayad preezzdem
Meherbaan ndzhelkei intizaar raabólem
Raabáasem ússa tag baalaa Baluchistan
Gerdzem, tanhaa
Hítskela péezhenemI khoshqhaaléezzem korgay
وړمه شپه او زه بادباني په سمندر کې
د نجلۍ،
چې په پرله پسی توګه د هغې د خوب مې د موضوع ده. زه
د بوي و. د هغې په ويښته
Ya ya ya ya (etc.)
posted by Smedleyman at 5:27 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
Google it. Seriously. They’re bastards going way back. Not to mention the recent Peach Bottom thing.
Also:
Louie Louie, oh me
Mi báayad preezzdem
waay waay waay, Wáayem
Louie Louie, oh péeghla
Mi báayad preezzdem
Meherbaan ndzhelkei intizaar raabólem
Raabáasem ússa tag baalaa Baluchistan
Gerdzem, tanhaa
Hítskela péezhenemI khoshqhaaléezzem korgay
وړمه شپه او زه بادباني په سمندر کې
د نجلۍ،
چې په پرله پسی توګه د هغې د خوب مې د موضوع ده. زه
د بوي و. د هغې په ويښته
Ya ya ya ya (etc.)
posted by Smedleyman at 5:27 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the chips
that were in
your [buttock] crack
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.
Forgive me
they were delicious
so salty
and so warm.
posted by interrobang at 5:29 PM on September 1, 2009 [30 favorites]
I have eaten
the chips
that were in
your [buttock] crack
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.
Forgive me
they were delicious
so salty
and so warm.
posted by interrobang at 5:29 PM on September 1, 2009 [30 favorites]
Blackwater aren't called Blackwater anymore, they're now called Xe. Wouldn't want to have a damaged brand eh?
posted by knapah at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by knapah at 5:31 PM on September 1, 2009
And the buttocks said unto Balaam, Am not I thine buttocks, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
posted by Flunkie at 5:32 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Flunkie at 5:32 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
"You guys are acting like a bunch of bro-dudes blowing off steam by getting drunk and sucking their bro's cock is gay or something."
Hey, I saw that Wicked Scepter video, those guys are totally not gay.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Hey, I saw that Wicked Scepter video, those guys are totally not gay.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:34 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
The local's reaction to the homoerotic nature of these boy's games is probably not as extreme as you might think. They are probably going to be more offended by the drinking.
In a society where all brides must be virgins and prostitution is a capital offense, sex between men is often looked on as a necessary release-valve for all those unmarried randy young men.
I am of course taking this from part of a documentary I saw recently called 'The Miscreants' about 'Taliwood' - the burgeoning north Pakistan film industry - and I'm at work at the moment so don't really want to have the necessary search phrases to back this up in my http-logs. YMMV
posted by JustAsItSounds at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2009
In a society where all brides must be virgins and prostitution is a capital offense, sex between men is often looked on as a necessary release-valve for all those unmarried randy young men.
I am of course taking this from part of a documentary I saw recently called 'The Miscreants' about 'Taliwood' - the burgeoning north Pakistan film industry - and I'm at work at the moment so don't really want to have the necessary search phrases to back this up in my http-logs. YMMV
posted by JustAsItSounds at 5:38 PM on September 1, 2009
I'd like to remind you all of a cardinal rule that seems troublingly little-acknowledged here. To wit: it's not gay if the balls don't touch. So let's bear that in mind when we start flinging around the assessments of these gentlemen's sexual orientation.
posted by rusty at 5:42 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by rusty at 5:42 PM on September 1, 2009
Soldier #1: "Anybody got a Penthouse?"
Solider #2: "Sorry, buddy, but you can try the Wackenhut over there. Don't touch the walls though -- they're sticky."
Speaking of masturbation (which apparently I am, so let me inject some humor here), one of THE funniest things to ever happen to me in the Army involved masturbation.
It was the night of my 18th birthday, on a field exercise in the deserts of New Mexico. My platoon-mates bought me four cases of beer, and we were all chugging away. With lots of chugging came the inevitable trip to take a leak, so I went to the latrine, kinda woozy and drunk. In the stall next to me, I heard breathless panting and the rhythmic sounds of someone stroking one off.
"HEY!" I yelled loudly, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
The panting stopped immediately and so did the rhythmic stroking sounds. From that stall I heard a voice say, "Soldier! Do you know who you're speaking to?!" Suddenly I was alarmed. Was I hassling a colonel or something, someone with authority who could make my life miserable?
I replied, "Ummm...noooo..."
The voice came back: "Good!" Then I heard the adjacent stall door open and footsteps run off into the night. I couldn't look because I was still taking a leak, so I never did find out who it was. (Not that I really cared.) I got back to my platoon and told them the story and we all laughed our asses off at the Mystery Masturbator and his snappy comeback.
Alright, back to your regularly scheduled conversation. Sorry for the masturbatory interlude, but 'Wackenhut' -- you gotta forgive me, couldn't help myself!
posted by jamstigator at 5:42 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
Solider #2: "Sorry, buddy, but you can try the Wackenhut over there. Don't touch the walls though -- they're sticky."
Speaking of masturbation (which apparently I am, so let me inject some humor here), one of THE funniest things to ever happen to me in the Army involved masturbation.
It was the night of my 18th birthday, on a field exercise in the deserts of New Mexico. My platoon-mates bought me four cases of beer, and we were all chugging away. With lots of chugging came the inevitable trip to take a leak, so I went to the latrine, kinda woozy and drunk. In the stall next to me, I heard breathless panting and the rhythmic sounds of someone stroking one off.
"HEY!" I yelled loudly, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
The panting stopped immediately and so did the rhythmic stroking sounds. From that stall I heard a voice say, "Soldier! Do you know who you're speaking to?!" Suddenly I was alarmed. Was I hassling a colonel or something, someone with authority who could make my life miserable?
I replied, "Ummm...noooo..."
The voice came back: "Good!" Then I heard the adjacent stall door open and footsteps run off into the night. I couldn't look because I was still taking a leak, so I never did find out who it was. (Not that I really cared.) I got back to my platoon and told them the story and we all laughed our asses off at the Mystery Masturbator and his snappy comeback.
Alright, back to your regularly scheduled conversation. Sorry for the masturbatory interlude, but 'Wackenhut' -- you gotta forgive me, couldn't help myself!
posted by jamstigator at 5:42 PM on September 1, 2009 [11 favorites]
I don't really see what the big deal is.
Multiple guards say this deviant hazing has created a climate of fear and coercion, with those who declined to participate often ridiculed, humiliated, demoted, or even fired.posted by dirigibleman at 5:51 PM on September 1, 2009
How can anyone work for a company named "Wackenhut" in good conscience?
"Wackenhut"?
Seriously. What's worse is that Wackenhut is the company that Portland Metro contracts to do all of the MAX Line security....
And now everything makes so, so much more sense.
Thanks Chyme.
posted by Lutoslawski at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2009
"Wackenhut"?
Seriously. What's worse is that Wackenhut is the company that Portland Metro contracts to do all of the MAX Line security....
And now everything makes so, so much more sense.
Thanks Chyme.
posted by Lutoslawski at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2009
For me, I think the most troubling part of all this is the fact that none of these naked military men are Alexander Skarsgård.
posted by elizardbits at 6:00 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:00 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
Overthinking a [buttock] of potato chips.
Maybe we're finally going to solve the mystery of the hardcore taters.
posted by amyms at 6:01 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
Maybe we're finally going to solve the mystery of the hardcore taters.
posted by amyms at 6:01 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
The response sickens me! Some day you may want to be a pervert and how would you like people saying things like this about you?
posted by Postroad at 6:05 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Postroad at 6:05 PM on September 1, 2009
Every day except Friday.
Why not Friday?
That's your day in the Wackenhut.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
Why not Friday?
That's your day in the Wackenhut.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 6:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
Seriously, when did we all get to be such prudes? It's not my thing, but if a bunch of guys doing a stressful job want to blow off a little steam by having drunken same sex orgies, I say good on them. Whatever floats your boat.
Plus, isn't that what the war in Afghanistan is about, making the world safe for the full range of human sexuality? You know the Taliban wouldn't tolerate this.
posted by Keith Talent at 6:18 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Plus, isn't that what the war in Afghanistan is about, making the world safe for the full range of human sexuality? You know the Taliban wouldn't tolerate this.
posted by Keith Talent at 6:18 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
knapah: "There are not enough troops in Afghanistan to 'waste' them on guarding embassies..."
Michael Yon has already been FPP-ed. But I just found his stuff today and holy shit, does he give you a sense of why it's called the Grave of Empires:
Using one platoon to cover this area is like trying to water a football pitch with a drop of water. The enemy fights just outside the base, even planting IEDs in view of the guard towers. On my first morning at Inkerman, one of the platoons was outside the wire in the corn. They came across tripwires and other booby traps. The enemy was so close that soldiers could hear the enemies’ own radios crackling nearby in the corn.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:21 PM on September 1, 2009
Michael Yon has already been FPP-ed. But I just found his stuff today and holy shit, does he give you a sense of why it's called the Grave of Empires:
Using one platoon to cover this area is like trying to water a football pitch with a drop of water. The enemy fights just outside the base, even planting IEDs in view of the guard towers. On my first morning at Inkerman, one of the platoons was outside the wire in the corn. They came across tripwires and other booby traps. The enemy was so close that soldiers could hear the enemies’ own radios crackling nearby in the corn.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:21 PM on September 1, 2009
If anyone's interested, here's a paper on the privatisation trend that I found in an old reading list of mine:
B. Møller on 'Privatisation of Conflict: Security and War' [pdf]
posted by knapah at 6:22 PM on September 1, 2009
B. Møller on 'Privatisation of Conflict: Security and War' [pdf]
posted by knapah at 6:22 PM on September 1, 2009
It's true, there is no greater act of sexual rebellion than to set up camp in a country that has toiled under a repressive regime and show them that Americans eat exactly as much man ass as we damn well fucking please.
posted by The Straightener at 6:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by The Straightener at 6:45 PM on September 1, 2009 [4 favorites]
I believe these photos were part of the Wackenhut "Ask? Tell? Who cares, let's party" promotional campaign.
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:48 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:48 PM on September 1, 2009
....and after a week of free love and much partying in the desert they erected a large wooden effigy that was crudely crafted in the shape of a disposable plastic bottle. It was set on fire in amidst a veritable orgy of chanting and ritualistic dancing.
And thus it was created: Burning Douche.
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:50 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
And thus it was created: Burning Douche.
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:50 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
So. I was out for a few hours this evening. How are we Wendelling?
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:53 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:53 PM on September 1, 2009
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale
And we're headin' on down to the Wackenhut
I got me a Hummvee, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
The Wackenhut is a little old place
Where we can get together
Wackenhut, baby
(A Wackenhut, baby)
Wacken-hut, baby, Wacken-hut
Wacken-hut, baby, Wacken-hut
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:10 PM on September 1, 2009
And we're headin' on down to the Wackenhut
I got me a Hummvee, it seats about 20
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money
The Wackenhut is a little old place
Where we can get together
Wackenhut, baby
(A Wackenhut, baby)
Wacken-hut, baby, Wacken-hut
Wacken-hut, baby, Wacken-hut
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:10 PM on September 1, 2009
I am disappointed. I clicked on that link expected a gross of perverts, and there were really only six or seven!
posted by nonspecialist at 7:16 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by nonspecialist at 7:16 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Blackwater aren't called Blackwater anymore, they're now called Xe.
Well, I'll be! That's much more noble. Asphyxiant, yes, but noble.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:24 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
Well, I'll be! That's much more noble. Asphyxiant, yes, but noble.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:24 PM on September 1, 2009 [2 favorites]
Well, I'll be! That's much more noble. Asphyxiant, yes, but noble.
Hehe. Better than a disease I guess.
Xe Services LLC: Where excellence is the standard.
posted by knapah at 7:41 PM on September 1, 2009
Hehe. Better than a disease I guess.
Xe Services LLC: Where excellence is the standard.
posted by knapah at 7:41 PM on September 1, 2009
It's true, there is no greater act of sexual rebellion than to set up camp in a country that has toiled under a repressive regime and show them that Americans eat exactly as much man ass as we damn well fucking please.
Come on now y'all, that's all she wrote. I laughed, I cried; the only thing more preposterous than 2009 was 2008. Shit is way past bonkers, luckily I did a Wackenhut Buttload of acid and shrooms back in the 90's when we only imagined that we'd hit peak nonsense, thus I've kept my mind limber for the true bullshit of the 21st century. I pity our children, it's scopolamine patches on the perinium and ether lattes to even crack open USA Today in 10 years.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:54 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
Come on now y'all, that's all she wrote. I laughed, I cried; the only thing more preposterous than 2009 was 2008. Shit is way past bonkers, luckily I did a Wackenhut Buttload of acid and shrooms back in the 90's when we only imagined that we'd hit peak nonsense, thus I've kept my mind limber for the true bullshit of the 21st century. I pity our children, it's scopolamine patches on the perinium and ether lattes to even crack open USA Today in 10 years.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:54 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
George Will is right. Get out of Afghanistan.
posted by Postroad at 8:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Postroad at 8:02 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
So we're having a textual circle jerk to mock an actual circle jerk?
posted by Cyrano at 8:25 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Cyrano at 8:25 PM on September 1, 2009
Isn't Wackenhut what Billy Maddison had? That port-a-john that moaned when he opened the door?
Christ, what a bunch of [buttocks].
posted by paisley henosis at 8:30 PM on September 1, 2009
Christ, what a bunch of [buttocks].
posted by paisley henosis at 8:30 PM on September 1, 2009
Can we PLEASE put the Marines back in charge of guarding the embassies now? THEY can't be bought, THEY have pride and THEY want to protect their country!
posted by Jinx of the 2nd Law at 8:36 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by Jinx of the 2nd Law at 8:36 PM on September 1, 2009
So we're having a textual circle jerk to mock an actual circle jerk?
A tribute, if you will.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:36 PM on September 1, 2009
A tribute, if you will.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:36 PM on September 1, 2009
This is not the greatest circle jerk in the world. This is a tribute.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:08 PM on September 1, 2009 [5 favorites]
George Will is right. Get out of Afghanistan. but leaves your jeans there!
posted by delmoi at 9:24 PM on September 1, 2009
posted by delmoi at 9:24 PM on September 1, 2009
somebody send these guys to the "it's not gay, if..." compendium, just so they can plausibly deny their actual feelings with a list of canned excuses.
in funnier news, the set of photos reminded me of this one-off comic (from this LJ post, by the guy who does Pictures for Sad Children)
posted by heeeraldo at 9:34 PM on September 1, 2009
in funnier news, the set of photos reminded me of this one-off comic (from this LJ post, by the guy who does Pictures for Sad Children)
posted by heeeraldo at 9:34 PM on September 1, 2009
Let ye who has not eaten buttcrack chips cast the first stone.
posted by nestor_makhno at 10:03 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by nestor_makhno at 10:03 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Headline: "Mercenaries are vulgar and obscene"
me: Yeah, and one-legged ducks swim in a circle
posted by hellslinger at 10:59 PM on September 1, 2009
me: Yeah, and one-legged ducks swim in a circle
posted by hellslinger at 10:59 PM on September 1, 2009
At least they were getting each other naked and pissing on each other, and not doing it to prisoners in some dungeon someplace.
Although I know people who pay to have that done in dungeons all over the US.
posted by hippybear at 11:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
Although I know people who pay to have that done in dungeons all over the US.
posted by hippybear at 11:14 PM on September 1, 2009 [1 favorite]
The army base where I work is guarded by Wackenhut employees. I'm sad to say I find them nicer, politer, and more sane than the army guys.
posted by acrasis at 4:00 AM on September 2, 2009
posted by acrasis at 4:00 AM on September 2, 2009
The army base where I work is guarded by Wackenhut employees. I'm sad to say I find them nicer, politer, and more sane than the army guys.
Selection bias: you only deal with the ones who are awake.
posted by GeckoDundee at 5:27 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
Selection bias: you only deal with the ones who are awake.
posted by GeckoDundee at 5:27 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
Great thread, guys, great thread.
posted by The Straightener at 6:43 AM on September 2, 2009
posted by The Straightener at 6:43 AM on September 2, 2009
Can we PLEASE put the Marines back in charge of guarding the embassies now? THEY can't be bought, THEY have pride and THEY want to protect their country!
You haven't met many Marines if you think they don't do stuff like this, too. There's only so much to do when you're stuck in the desert.
posted by Evilspork at 7:35 AM on September 2, 2009
You haven't met many Marines if you think they don't do stuff like this, too. There's only so much to do when you're stuck in the desert.
posted by Evilspork at 7:35 AM on September 2, 2009
Are you really that surprised. The doofuses who work for outfits like Wackenhut are likely people who couldn't make it into the military. So when Joe Bob and Joe Don from Arkansas go to a place where they're being paid a lot of money, but don't have a lot of expenses, they're bound to get in trouble.
Like Jeff Foxworthy said, "This is why you can't give rednecks money."
posted by reenum at 7:45 AM on September 2, 2009
Like Jeff Foxworthy said, "This is why you can't give rednecks money."
posted by reenum at 7:45 AM on September 2, 2009
Homoerotic conduct makes you a gross pervert. Got it.
posted by electroboy at 7:50 AM on September 2, 2009
posted by electroboy at 7:50 AM on September 2, 2009
You guys clearly don't know soldiers if you think this is just something contractors get up to. I would suggest reviewing the ARRSEpedia with the searches "bollocky buff", "naked bar" and "naked rollmat fighting".
Homoerotic horsing around when pissed is part and parcel of military service.
posted by longbaugh at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2009
Homoerotic horsing around when pissed is part and parcel of military service.
posted by longbaugh at 8:38 AM on September 2, 2009
Homoerotic conduct makes you a gross pervert. Got it.
I would say it's more the eating potato chips out of [buttock] cracks than the man-on-man action that's being labeled gross here. (I suppose YMMV.) But I think the real problem is that whole "deviant hazing [that] has created a climate of fear and coercion, with those who declined to participate often ridiculed, humiliated, demoted, or even fired" thing.
Also:
And sometimes the behavior extended to the locals:
"An Afghan national employed as a food service worker at the guard corps' base at Camp Sullivan submitted a signed statement dated August 16, 2009, attesting that a guard force supervisor and four others entered a dining facility on August 1, 2009, wearing only short underwear and brandishing bottles of alcohol. Upon leaving the facility, the guard force supervisor allegedly grabbed the Afghan national by the face and began abusing him with foul language, saying, "You are very good for fXXXing." The Afghan national reported that he "was too afraid of them I could not tell them any thing."
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:05 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
I would say it's more the eating potato chips out of [buttock] cracks than the man-on-man action that's being labeled gross here. (I suppose YMMV.) But I think the real problem is that whole "deviant hazing [that] has created a climate of fear and coercion, with those who declined to participate often ridiculed, humiliated, demoted, or even fired" thing.
Also:
And sometimes the behavior extended to the locals:
"An Afghan national employed as a food service worker at the guard corps' base at Camp Sullivan submitted a signed statement dated August 16, 2009, attesting that a guard force supervisor and four others entered a dining facility on August 1, 2009, wearing only short underwear and brandishing bottles of alcohol. Upon leaving the facility, the guard force supervisor allegedly grabbed the Afghan national by the face and began abusing him with foul language, saying, "You are very good for fXXXing." The Afghan national reported that he "was too afraid of them I could not tell them any thing."
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:05 AM on September 2, 2009 [1 favorite]
Blackwater aren't called Blackwater anymore, they're now called Xe.
I'm trying to keep alive the idea that they will always be Blackwater, no matter how many different brands they try. Because no one should be able to run, hide, or deflect the kind of legacy they have made for themselves.
And with any kind of luck, in a generation, "Blackwater" will be a dirty word.
posted by quin at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2009 [2 favorites]
I'm trying to keep alive the idea that they will always be Blackwater, no matter how many different brands they try. Because no one should be able to run, hide, or deflect the kind of legacy they have made for themselves.
And with any kind of luck, in a generation, "Blackwater" will be a dirty word.
posted by quin at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2009 [2 favorites]
"Homoerotic conduct makes you a gross pervert."
No. Peeing on coworkers, drinking vodka filtered through someone's ass crack, eating food from a coworker's butt. That's gross. Seriously, tell me you don't think that's gross.
Try this - Look around your workplace for someone you don't think is attractive in any way. Now imagine your boss telling you you must get naked with them and eat food from that person's ass. You don't find that gross?
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:43 AM on September 2, 2009
No. Peeing on coworkers, drinking vodka filtered through someone's ass crack, eating food from a coworker's butt. That's gross. Seriously, tell me you don't think that's gross.
Try this - Look around your workplace for someone you don't think is attractive in any way. Now imagine your boss telling you you must get naked with them and eat food from that person's ass. You don't find that gross?
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:43 AM on September 2, 2009
I'm trying to keep alive the idea that they will always be Blackwater, no matter how many different brands they try. Because no one should be able to run, hide, or deflect the kind of legacy they have made for themselves.
And with any kind of luck, in a generation, "Blackwater" will be a dirty word.
I agree completely.
posted by knapah at 9:48 AM on September 2, 2009
And with any kind of luck, in a generation, "Blackwater" will be a dirty word.
I agree completely.
posted by knapah at 9:48 AM on September 2, 2009
Blackwater aren't called Blackwater anymore, they're now called Xe.
Which Rachel Maddow likes to pronounce as "she".
posted by hippybear at 9:57 AM on September 2, 2009
Which Rachel Maddow likes to pronounce as "she".
posted by hippybear at 9:57 AM on September 2, 2009
Peeing on coworkers, drinking vodka filtered through someone's ass crack, eating food from a coworker's butt. That's gross. Seriously, tell me you don't think that's gross.
I've played rugby for 15 years and build sewers for a living. There's not much that grosses me out.
Try this - Look around your workplace for someone you don't think is attractive in any way. Now imagine your boss telling you you must get naked with them and eat food from that person's ass.
You (and most everyone else) are conflating two issues here. One is your personal distaste for what the people in the photos are doing. If you have different preferences w/r/t whose buttcrack you eat potato chips out of, that's your prerogative. That makes neither them, nor you "gross perverts". I'll also note that the people in the photos appear to be enjoying themselves. They're drinking, smiling and appear to be having a good time.
The more serious issue is poor management leading to lapses in security, which was mostly ignored here.
posted by electroboy at 10:41 AM on September 2, 2009
I've played rugby for 15 years and build sewers for a living. There's not much that grosses me out.
Try this - Look around your workplace for someone you don't think is attractive in any way. Now imagine your boss telling you you must get naked with them and eat food from that person's ass.
You (and most everyone else) are conflating two issues here. One is your personal distaste for what the people in the photos are doing. If you have different preferences w/r/t whose buttcrack you eat potato chips out of, that's your prerogative. That makes neither them, nor you "gross perverts". I'll also note that the people in the photos appear to be enjoying themselves. They're drinking, smiling and appear to be having a good time.
The more serious issue is poor management leading to lapses in security, which was mostly ignored here.
posted by electroboy at 10:41 AM on September 2, 2009
Contractors Outnumber U.S. Troops in Afghanistan
"Civilian contractors working for the Pentagon in Afghanistan not only outnumber the uniformed troops, according to a report [PDF] by a Congressional research group, but also form the highest ratio of contractors to military personnel recorded in any war in the history of the United States.posted by ericb at 1:31 PM on September 2, 2009
On a superficial level, the shift means that most of those representing the United States in the war will be wearing the scruffy cargo pants, polo shirts, baseball caps and other casual accouterments favored by overseas contractors rather than the fatigues and flight suits of the military.
More fundamentally, the contractors who are a majority of the force in what has become the most important American enterprise abroad are subject to lines of authority that are less clear-cut than they are for their military colleagues.
What is clear, the report says, is that when contractors for the Pentagon or other agencies are not properly managed — as when civilian interrogators committed abuses at Abu Ghraib in Iraq or members of the security firm Blackwater shot and killed 17 Iraqi citizens in Baghdad — the American effort can be severely undermined."
isnt peeing on each other and smelling buttcracks completely normal behavior....FOR DOGS??????????????????????????
posted by supermedusa at 1:32 PM on September 2, 2009
posted by supermedusa at 1:32 PM on September 2, 2009
supermedusa: Ixnay on the dog-brained-disposable-fratboy-clone-program-ay. That's our secret weapon and we can't let the enemy know about it.
posted by idiopath at 2:19 PM on September 2, 2009
posted by idiopath at 2:19 PM on September 2, 2009
George Will is right. Get out of Afghanistan.
Never should have gone in in the first place. Oh well.
These pictures are not shocking nor disturbing. They are par for the course.
Now Abu Ghraib, those were some pictures ...
posted by mrgrimm at 2:56 PM on September 2, 2009
Never should have gone in in the first place. Oh well.
These pictures are not shocking nor disturbing. They are par for the course.
Now Abu Ghraib, those were some pictures ...
posted by mrgrimm at 2:56 PM on September 2, 2009
The doofuses who work for outfits like Wackenhut are likely people who couldn't make it into the military.
Actually, I'm curious as to exactly who these doofuses are. According to the WaPo article, the report also "outlined communications problems among the guards, many of whom don't speak English and have trouble understanding orders from their U.S. supervisors." So not only are we hiring mercenaries; we're apparently hiring foreign mercenaries.
What countries are these contractors coming from?
posted by mr_roboto at 4:21 PM on September 2, 2009
Actually, I'm curious as to exactly who these doofuses are. According to the WaPo article, the report also "outlined communications problems among the guards, many of whom don't speak English and have trouble understanding orders from their U.S. supervisors." So not only are we hiring mercenaries; we're apparently hiring foreign mercenaries.
What countries are these contractors coming from?
posted by mr_roboto at 4:21 PM on September 2, 2009
If I recall, the people who performed vehicle inspection at the gates of part of the compound were Nepalis (Nepalese?).
Also, I would estimate that 80% of the Americans in the photos are prior service so the idea that they are doing this job because they couldn't serve in the US military is most likely incorrect.
posted by Dagobert at 10:26 PM on September 2, 2009
Also, I would estimate that 80% of the Americans in the photos are prior service so the idea that they are doing this job because they couldn't serve in the US military is most likely incorrect.
posted by Dagobert at 10:26 PM on September 2, 2009
A lot of mercenaries working for the 2nd tier PMC companies are South American fellows - Nicaraguans, Columbians etc.
posted by longbaugh at 4:03 AM on September 3, 2009
posted by longbaugh at 4:03 AM on September 3, 2009
Yah, initial embassy guards at Baghdad were Peruvians.
posted by Dagobert at 10:43 AM on September 3, 2009
posted by Dagobert at 10:43 AM on September 3, 2009
Update: US axes Kabul guards for lewdness
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:29 PM on September 4, 2009
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 2:29 PM on September 4, 2009
More troops die in Afghanistan, major highway in shambles and voter fraud charges continue...
posted by homunculus at 9:12 AM on September 9, 2009
posted by homunculus at 9:12 AM on September 9, 2009
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posted by mudpuppie at 4:06 PM on September 1, 2009