Advanced DOS Strategies

September 11, 2009 11:41 PM

Sit back, relax, and we will take you through a most interesting voyage through your computer and its Disk Operating System
posted by jpdoane (37 comments total)

Never format the C drive. Always format B.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:43 PM on September 11, 2009

I hate when a freak electrical storm makes Godzilla eat my disks.
posted by figment of my conation at 11:47 PM on September 11, 2009 [5 favorites]

I hate when a freak electrical storm makes Godzilla eat my disks.

I think that happened to me on SimCity once.
posted by signalnine at 11:51 PM on September 11, 2009 [4 favorites]

Sometimes I want to rename a file, because I named it inappropriately.
posted by turgid dahlia at 12:09 AM on September 12, 2009

your voyage has terminated in a kenandbarbiedoll fault

abort, retry, fail?
posted by pyramid termite at 12:11 AM on September 12, 2009

hahah. The oddest thing really is the painting in the background:

I think the mustache guy is a former South American dictator. It looks like they painted the portrait just after he was booted from power by the local military junta.

posted by delmoi at 12:34 AM on September 12, 2009

Never format the C drive. Always format B.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:43 PM on September 11 [+] [!]

Grandma believed that shit to her dyin' day!
posted by basicchannel at 12:39 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sometimes I want to rename a file, because I named it inappropriately.

I remember having no end of laughs over at a friend's house renaming the FDD on his dad's computer to "3½-inch Floppy Dick".
posted by dunkadunc at 12:40 AM on September 12, 2009 [5 favorites]

I skipped the psychedelic opening to this part:
"It's always more comforting to know that you can 'bail out' any time you want."
and assumed this was a voyage through the mind of Henry Paulson.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 1:10 AM on September 12, 2009

delmoi: That's obviously the late Leopoldo Hurtado Polo, to whom this video was dedicated in memoriam
posted by blasdelf at 1:43 AM on September 12, 2009

Dear Lord, that woman's cold, glassy stare... It's like someone combined the McDonald's training video with the Stepford Wives.
posted by Scattercat at 2:17 AM on September 12, 2009

Back in the 80s, the sequence of statements in this video actually made logical sense. That's why DOS was so completely appropriate to its time but is so hard for us to understand now.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:17 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

This post led me to a two hour exploration of Everything is Terrible, and now I can't stop laughing in a machine-like, empty way. Thanks, jpdoane.

(Dolphin wedding!)
posted by bwerdmuller at 4:16 AM on September 12, 2009

Title of painting: "Formatted C: Drive"
posted by digsrus at 5:02 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

My advanced DOS strategy: Macintosh.
posted by tommasz at 7:51 AM on September 12, 2009

I have the following drives on my computer: A:,C:,D:,E:,F:,G:,H:,I:,J:, and K:.

Where's the B: drive? Thats right. Formatted. Right back to hell.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 7:52 AM on September 12, 2009

I love how completely exasperated the guy is with all of these lazy whiners who are "just too hurried" to take a second to type the time and date in every time they boot up.
posted by jpdoane at 8:38 AM on September 12, 2009

just after he was booted from power

You sure you don't mean rebooted?
posted by Drasher at 8:40 AM on September 12, 2009

Haha the past *is* funny.
posted by stevil at 8:42 AM on September 12, 2009

MetaFilter: the only place to run your fingers down is the screen
posted by DU at 8:50 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

There have been a few Everything Is Terrible posts. I'd like it more if they didn't edit down the videos so much. This stuff doesn't need help being funny.
posted by roll truck roll at 9:31 AM on September 12, 2009

Its a funny-once, and the suit is indeed terrible. But the awkward cuts and disjointed comments ruin it as a classic of the 80's.
posted by SLC Mom at 9:35 AM on September 12, 2009

Everything is terrible sometimes mystifies me. They're all edited to some extent, but how much? Is the terribility native, or edited in? both? Sometimes it seems impossible.
posted by cmoj at 10:15 AM on September 12, 2009

Everything is Terrible is awesome. I got hooked by that butt-horn Gary Busey.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:32 AM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

I didn't mind the editing. I don't need to watch an entire 76 min DOS training VHS to understand it's terrible. Or funny.

Seriously, who's going to watch an entire training video on an outdated OS in the internet age?
posted by deliquescent at 12:03 PM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have to give credit to Everything Is Terrible: They're putting online a lot of 80s archival tape that's in amazing quality given how old it is. Really, a lot of 80s stuff (especially VHS!) is just falling apart now, you probably won't be able to find this stuff much longer.
posted by fungible at 12:08 PM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Vimeo videos always bring my computer to a screeching halt. Buh bye!
posted by intermod at 12:47 PM on September 12, 2009

What is Lt Saavik doing on this video?
posted by MrLint at 12:48 PM on September 12, 2009 [2 favorites]

Everything is Terrible: IT IS SO GREAT. Today's included.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 12:54 PM on September 12, 2009

Thanks, I love EIT. I like how DOS only has one flaw. Sometimes, I wonder if life would be better if we all gave up our fancy Vistas and bash in a multi-tab terminal and just went back to a single mediocre command line. Sure, it'd be harder to get stuff done, but it'd be all the more satisfying when something actually worked.
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:10 PM on September 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: It's only drawback is that it's cryptic.

Metafilter: It's always more comforting knowing you can "bail-out" any time you want.
posted by fuq at 1:13 PM on September 12, 2009

Sometimes I want to rename a file, because I named it inappropriately.

Sometimes I want to redate a file because I touched it inappropriately. I'm required by law to tell people this every time I move into a new neighbourhood.
posted by arto at 1:36 PM on September 12, 2009

Watching this video is like reading a book about ANSI.SYS.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:34 PM on September 12, 2009

Watching this video is like reading a book about ANSI.SYS

Hey man, don't knock ANSI.SYS. Without ANSI, how could those pirate BBSes make such fabulous artwork?
posted by Afroblanco at 8:10 AM on September 13, 2009

The graphics (opening titles, etc.) for that video were most-certainly done on an Amiga.
posted by D.C. at 9:25 PM on September 13, 2009

Ah yes, the book I was thinking of is Supercharging MS-DOS by Van Wolverton.
posted by infinitewindow at 4:50 PM on September 14, 2009

'Abort, Retry, Fail?' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we'd remind them: if you see this message, {always} choose 'Retry.'

Bad'l Ron, Wakener
Morgan Polysoft

I guess they still use it in the future... how bad can it be? (Are you down with the Alpha Centauri?)
posted by LD Feral at 10:27 AM on September 15, 2009