The Poisoned Distraction of Music

September 26, 2009 9:44 AM

Women of the world! Russ Lindquist, also known as russfloyd (Multi-Link Youtubery ahead), wants you to 'Know your Enemy'.

And that enemy is - yourself! That might seem harsh, but be honest - isn't it possible you're a sexual retard who's addicted to robo-orgasms? You could be charging a man-tax without even knowing it! You could be social veal, or even a military remora.

You might think Russ is pretty brutal, but that's just because you're trapped within the system of vulva-centric chauvinism. Besides, Russ isn't only speaking truth to girlpower - he also has tough things to say about Jon Stewart and his coward-catalyzing cronies. In fact, Russ thinks we're all shiny, spineless pawns, totally unworthy of his handsome, hung and humble attentions. And he sure knows how to shake his booty-meat. Ah, Russ, how have we lived without your wisdom?

posted by eatyourcellphone (19 comments total)

Color me amazed that someone was willing to reproduce with this guy. I feel for his kid.
posted by Monsters at 9:52 AM on September 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

"music is the new opiate of the masses" - russfloyd

Singing with no shirt on while plunking on a guitar is the new posting a comment on reddit.
posted by idiopath at 9:58 AM on September 26, 2009

At first glance I wasn't sure what to think about this (serious? ironic?) and I was going to wait for all of you to tell me what to think. But, after watching a few more videos, I think this guy's pretty much an asshat and his videos suck.

I'm not saying the post sucks.
posted by marxchivist at 10:09 AM on September 26, 2009

My enemy is Russ Linqsuist. Thanks for the warning.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 11:04 AM on September 26, 2009

The lyrics "look what music has become" pretty much tells me that this guy is an ignorant wanker. The guy obviously has no idea of the history of music.

So, yet another no-talent singer railing against the music industry. Well, maybe the next FPP will be interesting.
posted by happyroach at 11:07 AM on September 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hmm. Umm, why isn't he wearing a shirt? Does he want women to have robo-orgasms while watching his videos?
posted by brina at 11:19 AM on September 26, 2009

Are robo-orgasms what you get when technology grips the genitalia of society?
posted by yeloson at 11:40 AM on September 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

I love the scene in Robo-orgasm 2 where Robo-orgasm and Robo-orgasm 2, high on "Nuke," tear up the streets of Delta City in the most over-the-top violent sex scene ever filmed while the striking police force, caught in the blast zone of Robo-orgasm 2's powerful new lust grenades, are overwhelmed by passion and form a thin blue line of orgy madness. The ten-year-old drug dealer kind of creeped me out, though.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:42 AM on September 26, 2009 [4 favorites]

yet another no-talent singer railing against the music industry

If you'd like an extremely talented singer railing against the music industry, try on The Shaming of the True.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:51 AM on September 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Russ needs to watch more Alexyss Tyler [nsfw].
posted by benzenedream at 12:42 PM on September 26, 2009

Wow! He's just like Frank Zappa if Frank Zappa had been a musically-inept fuckface who never in his life managed to satisfy a woman either sexually or emotionally or probably intellectually too and so spent every ounce of his energy rationalizing why all women everywhere are at fault for it oh and for the miserable plight of our over-worked military men and for everything else too except things like Parliamentarianism wtf that the liberal comedians no wait catalysts are at fault for!

RESPECT THE COCK!!!

uh sorry
posted by nosila at 1:42 PM on September 26, 2009 [5 favorites]

This guy reminds me in some strange way of DateJesus dude (only much stupider. But just as soporifically in love with his own sense of superiority.
posted by nanojath at 2:27 PM on September 26, 2009

He's just like Frank Zappa

More like Wild Man Fischer, imo.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:40 PM on September 26, 2009

More like Wild Man Fischer , imo.

That guy is totally the Mad Hatter.
posted by nosila at 3:39 PM on September 26, 2009

Wow. This guy reminds me of Dimitri the Lover or Arthur Kade, in the sense of being a preening dong completely unaware of the hideousness of his own ego. He gels up the slick McConaughey 'do, assumes these distant gazes, and pops his shirt off (so as to better show off the chest piece on his waxed torso) so that he can serenade the ladies of the Internet by boasting about how much better of a lover he would be than the guys they prefer with one song, only to switch it up and castigate them for turning to mechanical stimulation because he is unable to physically satisfy them, which is somehow a sign that THEY are sexual retards. And then he stands up from his piano and you notice that, hey!, he has been doing this in front of his two small children all along.

Seriously, watch the video where he sings about Jon Stewart. There are edits about every two lines. Think of how long this guy spent recording and re-recording that song. Hamhanding that tender guitar line and eyebrowing his way through that awkward prose. Sweating over those tough calls in the editing suite -- The lyrics to his part cover up my face, but if I lower the font size, will my YouTube subscribers be able to follow as I sing "A fickle façade of democracy / in a hegemonic oligarchy"?

I guess it's like they always say: Even a stopped clock realizes that Dane Cook is a bad comedian
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 7:58 PM on September 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

Isn't "anti-religious zealot" a tad oxymoronic? Venal whore, indeed.
posted by dgbellak at 4:03 AM on September 27, 2009

the repetition is interesting, like he's praying or trying to subdue his own emotional problems through chanting.

the social veal songs would actually be interesting done in a wide sweeping droney way. If that was the first song I heard by this guy, I would assume it's an angry little screed against the vapidness and self-contentedness (regardless of gender) pervasive in pop culture and the way it affects young folks. I know a few knew teachers who might share some of that sentiment. Mefimusic challenge ? (i kid, i kid)

The amount of creepy coming off this man is incredible. The shirtlessness, the son taught to sing along. The fact that he seems to be working very hard to put his simplistic misogyny into song format, despite an obvious lack of talent or even comfort with performing. From a home recording guy: that's a lot of edits on the songs and videos, trying to scrape a semi-consistent song. Wouldn't it be easier to just talk at the camera like most youtubers? But music is the language of the sacred, so he HAS to work through his limitations and sanctify his truth. He has to teach his son to sing against the enemy at an early age, or the world will sweep in and fill him with its lies.

I have to admit that I find the guy kind of fascinating. And horrifying. I worry about that kid. I worry about that kid's mother.
posted by es_de_bah at 8:46 AM on September 27, 2009

course, there's a good chance those are his younger siblings and he lives at home with his folks, possibly with a mother or stepmother he doesn't quite get along with?
posted by es_de_bah at 9:02 AM on September 27, 2009

I worry about that kid. I worry about that kid's mother.

I worry about a headline like "3 women shot at local aerobics club."
posted by Countess Elena at 12:00 PM on September 27, 2009 [1 favorite]