And I always thought the Drunken Master prestige class was kind of crap, but I guess if you're a 12th level Monk already it can allow you to get some decent rampaging in. posted by FatherDagon at 7:39 AM on October 3 [1 favorite]
I think biting is OK if you can do it with perfect compassion. posted by RussHy at 7:42 AM on October 3 [3 favorites]
Hey, It's still better than shagging alter boys like Catholic or Protestant Priests! posted by jeffburdges at 8:21 AM on October 3 [1 favorite]
He must have missed that bit of the Vinaya about not biting folks. posted by everichon at 8:31 AM on October 3
Hey, It's still better than shagging alter boys like Catholic or Protestant Priests!
One of Jodorowsky's memoirs has an account by a Japanese Buddhist monk talking about being raped by an older monk, and claiming it was quite common. I wouldn't be surprised if it happens in Cambodia too. Men, overweening authority, enforced celibacy and captive innocents: the results are probably the same the whole world over. I actually wouldn't be surprised if this guy has done a damn site more than try to bite his colleagues, but this is all they're comfortable bringing forward. posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:29 AM on October 3 [2 favorites]
Here they come,
walkin' down the street,
sinking their teeth in
everyone they meet.
Hey hey they're the Monkees ... posted by zippy at 10:02 AM on October 3
Isn't it comforting to know that the entire globe has the same problems with some segment of their out-of-control religious folk? It's getting hard to tell the difference between performance art and clergy with issues. Maybe he should make a big wooden tunnel, with a white light at the end, then just bite anyone who tries to come through. posted by adipocere at 10:05 AM on October 3
I don't even want to know if this dude starts streaming. posted by effluvia at 10:17 AM on October 3
Hence the famous koan:
Two rows of teeth clench and there is a harrowing scream; what is the sound of one row of teeth clenching? posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 10:20 AM on October 3 [1 favorite]
Biting Monk sounds like a mediocre indie rock band. The Department of Cults and Religious Affairs could be a band with some potential. But I would definitely catch a set by the monk management board. posted by Slack-a-gogo at 10:51 AM on October 3 [7 favorites]
"If monks are found to drink wine or bite people, they must be defrocked"
Schism and export is the answer. I'm sure there's a wealthy, seeking set who'd pay to get bit. posted by eegphalanges at 1:13 PM on October 3
I just came into this thread to say that defrock/defrocked/defrocking is one of the most inherently hilarious words in the English language. posted by orange swan at 5:23 PM on October 3
H: You can tell the quality of the monk by the quality of his frock.
C: Uh Huh ... You have to work this stuff a bit to get it soft.
H: Actually, I just like to say frock.
C: See, just knead it like so, and then it can be modeled.
H: Frock Frock Frock Frock Frock Frock!
C: What on Earth is wrong with you?! posted by sebastienbailard at 5:59 PM on October 3
MMBI: Hello, I'm the Monk Management Board Inspector. You called the office about your monk?
Housewife: Yes, it's horrible, he's been biting, and I think he's been drinking, and I just don't know what to do.
MMBI: Hmmm ... that can be tricky. Has he achieved enlightenment?
Housewife: I don't know, the rest of the time he just sits there and hums!
MMBI: I think I'll have to take a look at him. posted by sebastienbailard at 7:08 PM on October 3 [4 favorites]
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posted by phrontist at 7:21 AM on October 3