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Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
October 5, 2009 5:18 AM   Subscribe

"X or Y" Quizzes have been an Internet Mainstay since the first time a nerd noticed similarities between the names of sci-fi aliens and programming languages. While finding those earliest examples is beyond my Google-Fu skills (YOU try a search for 'x or y quiz'), here's a more recent example,"Web 2.0 or Star Wars?". MeFites who enjoyed the recent "Font or Cheese" quiz may have been unaware of the related "Band Name or Font" quiz. MentalFloss.com has frequently engaged in this kind of quizzery, either raising it to an art, or jumping it into the shark's mouth (Star Trek Character or Erectile Disfunction Pill, Harry Potter Character or Skin Disease, Moon-Landing Astronaut or Pro Golfer, Ben & Jerry's Flavor or Pottery Barn Paint Color) And just in case you thought this was a 'guy thing', try your luck at "New Perfume or Soap Opera Character?"

But the "x or y quiz to end all x or y quizzes" has just been put online by some terminally snarky t-shirt salesmen, with tongues in their cheeks and hands down their pants (obviously NSFW), it's "Pornstar Or Potato?"
posted by wendell (51 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Out of This World or My Secret Identity?
posted by Eideteker at 5:25 AM on October 5, 2009


Vinyl or acetate?
posted by Eideteker at 5:25 AM on October 5, 2009


Is there a b3ta.com/quizzes/ link in there somewhere?
posted by pracowity at 5:25 AM on October 5, 2009


Ghostbusters, or Ghostbusters 2?
posted by Eideteker at 5:29 AM on October 5, 2009


Hardcore taters.

What do I win?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:37 AM on October 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


I thought these quizzes were surely running out of steam years ago when I created Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer? (gratuitous self-link), but was clearly very, very wrong.
posted by malevolent at 5:38 AM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now THAT is how you do an FPP about some silly thing you found on the internet.
posted by rokusan at 5:45 AM on October 5, 2009


I really like Pornstar vs. Potato. Kind of weird that I scored well. Do you hear that, internets? Even your sarcastic fake quizzes cannot best me!
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:45 AM on October 5, 2009


But I'm grateful you did, mal, and let me simply add "or Both?"
posted by wendell at 5:46 AM on October 5, 2009


Man, those Mental Floss people don't understand what a radio button is for, do they?

(Some geniuses.)
posted by rokusan at 5:47 AM on October 5, 2009


Back when the internet was young, one of the most dependable places for web toys like this was The Brunching Shuttlecocks.

For me, I think the zenith (or nadir) of such quizzes was "My Little Pony, or Porn Star."

Surprisingly hard, unlike some of the more recent ones.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:54 AM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


The "X or Y" format probably predates these, but I first ran into this type of quiz on the Brunching Shuttlecocks, c. 1999:posted by Johnny Assay at 5:54 AM on October 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


Twelve Angry Men or My Cousin Vinny?
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:56 AM on October 5, 2009




malevolent, your quiz was great fun! I also love the Porn Star or My Little Pony. The Star Trek quiz was disappointing--not enough villains from the original series (too many TNG references).
posted by misha at 6:05 AM on October 5, 2009


I've always been fond of "Star Wars character name or NPR announcer/reporter name".
posted by orthogonality at 6:09 AM on October 5, 2009


Thanks. Now I'm going to go through this day with the phrase "pornstar or potato?" crushing any ability I have to be or look serious.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:17 AM on October 5, 2009


The economy was tough all over. Even porn stars were left to desperate measures. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette porn star went into a farm to steal some chickens. Unfortunately for them, the police were nearby and heard them and came in to the chicken coop. The girls quickly jumped into three sacks so they wouldn't be seen.

One policeman kicked the sack with the redhead, and she said "meow" pretending to be a cat.

He kicked the second one with the brunette, and she said "woof" pretending to be a dog.

When he kicked the third sack with the blonde, she said "potatoes."
posted by netbros at 6:21 AM on October 5, 2009 [3 favorites]


My new porn name: Yukon Goulde

My new potato variety: Violet Blue (just to further the confusion)
posted by Pollomacho at 6:23 AM on October 5, 2009


Can't forget a classic!: Lesbian or German Lady?
posted by applemeat at 6:36 AM on October 5, 2009


Test or Quiz?
posted by The Whelk at 6:58 AM on October 5, 2009


I thought these quizzes were surely running out of steam years ago when I created Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer? (gratuitous self-link), but was clearly very, very wrong.

Lolreiser
posted by atrazine at 7:08 AM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


McSweeney's has quite a few, e.g. Rapper or toiletry?.
posted by Horselover Fat at 7:09 AM on October 5, 2009


My friend recently made Steak House or Gay Bar, which I've found surprisingly difficult.
posted by scottreynen at 7:36 AM on October 5, 2009


Perfume or Marvel Supervillain ended up being kind of an allfuck, actually. There are just too many perfumes out there to make a definitive list (and when I wrote it, a definitive list of Marvel supervillains was also not available that I could find). I'm not sure that quiz was accurate ten years ago, much less now.
posted by lore at 7:36 AM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


The answer is Ron Jeremy.
posted by Kabanos at 7:47 AM on October 5, 2009


Steak House or Gay Bar

Well, at least I got 'House of Prime Rib' correct.
posted by scrutiny at 7:47 AM on October 5, 2009


Lesbian or German Lady? reminds me of a game my daughter and her friends would play when they saw a young well-dressed man in the US: "Gay or European?"
posted by MtDewd at 8:07 AM on October 5, 2009


The first one of these I can remember running into was Pornstar or My Little Pony. Mefi's own, etc.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:27 AM on October 5, 2009


I've never seen a potato, so I don't know what one looks like. So I just chose 'potato' each time the picture didn't look like a porn star.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:38 AM on October 5, 2009


I got 12 out of 12 in the "Harry Potter Character or Hideous Skin Disease?" test. I'm not sure if I should be ashamed or not.
posted by Memo at 8:39 AM on October 5, 2009


wow! steak house or gay bar is really hard. and i should know most of these.

(i really like steak)
posted by sexyrobot at 8:40 AM on October 5, 2009


Rascal Flatts always struck me as a great name for a gay bar.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:33 AM on October 5, 2009


Previously: Dog toy or marital aid? Now at this address.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:41 AM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ding! Ding! Ding!
seriously people add a mute button that works
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:49 AM on October 5, 2009


I'd gotten this far in life without seeing amputee porn. Can we get a new warning tag, like [NSFW], like [NSFWBIAP]?
posted by fatbird at 9:57 AM on October 5, 2009


I would probably like this is porn didn't completely squick me in a non-porn context
posted by kathrineg at 10:24 AM on October 5, 2009


Dude it was just someone with less than one leg in some undies. It's nothing to get worked up about. We all have different bodies.
posted by kathrineg at 10:25 AM on October 5, 2009


We all have different bodies.

I absolutely agree. I was squicked out less by the absence of part of her leg, and more by sampling a weirdly well-serviced subgenre of the porn industry.
posted by fatbird at 10:37 AM on October 5, 2009


Tuber? I hardly know her!
posted by Riki tiki at 10:57 AM on October 5, 2009 [2 favorites]


Pornstar Or Potato?

This is why I stay out of the kitchen.
posted by mazola at 12:07 PM on October 5, 2009


steak house or gay bar (i got the first 10 i saw correct) was a lot easier than serial killer or computer programmer. (proper names or abbreviations of such are generally steak houses)
posted by mrgrimm at 1:15 PM on October 5, 2009


Lesbian or German Lady? reminds me of a game my daughter and her friends would play when they saw a young well-dressed man in the US: "Gay or European?"

Whenever my friend and I go to gay bars, we usually end up playing, "Cop or Military?"
posted by NemesisVex at 1:32 PM on October 5, 2009


"Cop or Military?"

of course the guys IN the cop or military outfits are really middle-managers and pet store owners.
posted by The Whelk at 1:37 PM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


Surprisingly hard, unlike some of the more recent ones.

I see what you did there.
posted by cairnish at 1:50 PM on October 5, 2009


My friend recently made Steak House or Gay Bar, which I've found surprisingly difficult.

The Gay Steak Houses make some of those trick questions.
posted by TedW at 2:45 PM on October 5, 2009


Metafilter: or ebaumsworld (radio button)
posted by jfuller at 4:13 PM on October 5, 2009 [1 favorite]


We all have different bodies.

I don't.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:20 PM on October 5, 2009


Man, those Mental Floss people don't understand what a radio button is for, do they?

I used to check their quizzes all the time. Since they have moved to the nerve wracking one question per page format, I avoid them like the plague. A shame, really.
posted by Avelwood at 5:24 PM on October 5, 2009


After posting this, I went to sleep for 12 hours and awoke to find that I had neglected to include any of the classic Brunching Shuttlecocks X or Y Quizzes, which will probably cancel out all my recent efforts to get MeFi's Own Lore to like me. Sigh.
posted by wendell at 5:59 PM on October 5, 2009


The McSweeney's iPhone app recently had "Youtube Comment or e. e. cummings?"
posted by rifflesby at 9:01 PM on October 5, 2009


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