Paging sharksmatter...?

October 9, 2009 5:53 PM

You are a shark. You swim off the coast of Florida. You dive in and out of the water to smash boats, and you can pull jumbo jets out of the sky WITH YOUR TEETH. You are Miami Shark. Via Rockpapershotgun.

Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds.

posted by Decimask (58 comments total)

JUST played this. I almost died when I jumped up to bite a jumbo jet and there was a space shuttle attached to the top.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 5:55 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

This was slightly more difficult than it should have been because I was laughing so much the entire time.
posted by Mizu at 6:01 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

This is the kind of misinformation that makes people afraid of sharks and makes it so hard to get people interested in saving them, even though they're a very important part of marine ecosystems.

Okay, maybe not so much.
posted by snofoam at 6:05 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

A shockingly awesome game.
posted by GuyZero at 6:09 PM on October 9

That was really funny. Thanks for sharing it.
posted by procrastination at 6:16 PM on October 9

I liked the part where I got to wreak havoc with my teeth!
posted by Greg Nog at 6:18 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

Obligatory reference.
posted by qvantamon at 6:18 PM on October 9

How in the hell is this related?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:31 PM on October 9

YES. FUCK YES. YES.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 6:32 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

Nom.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:33 PM on October 9

We're gonna need a bigger B52 bomber.
posted by notmydesk at 6:34 PM on October 9 [4 favorites]

SAAAAAWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.
posted by rollbiz at 6:37 PM on October 9

That was highly enjoyable!
posted by The otter lady at 6:38 PM on October 9

notmydesk just ended this thread with a win...
posted by HuronBob at 6:40 PM on October 9

You are a shark. You swim off the coast of Florida. You dive in and out of the water to smash boats, and you can pull jumbo jets out of the sky WITH YOUR TEETH.

They know me so well.
posted by DU at 6:42 PM on October 9

I ate the space shuttle.
posted by Lord_Pall at 6:55 PM on October 9

That was almost too much fun, thanks.
posted by marxchivist at 6:57 PM on October 9

Where's Fonzie?
posted by ...possums at 7:03 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

SPOILER

This is the actual reason the plane crashed on Lost.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:04 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

Do you want to know how awesome this game is? I'll tell you how awesome this game is: Playing it actually fixed the wonky cursor-down key on my keyboard.

If anybody ever asks about this problem in Ask MetaFilter, I'll just give them this link and tell them to pound on the stupid button until they can reliably drag helicopters into the water. It will be the best answer ever.
posted by FishBike at 7:09 PM on October 9 [10 favorites]

Hysterical!
posted by Peecabu at 7:11 PM on October 9

That was so much fun, thanks!
posted by xedrik at 7:16 PM on October 9

Fantastic!

The only thing missing from the shark is Horatio Caine sunglasses.
posted by bwg at 7:25 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

You're right, bwg.

I guess the game designer ...

... bit off more than he could chew.

YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
posted by adipocere at 7:33 PM on October 9 [19 favorites]

adipocere, you said a mouthful.




Wait are we doing sexual innuendo or what?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:36 PM on October 9

Hell yes! I can't stop playing this!
posted by Eclipsante at 7:43 PM on October 9

That was great!
posted by elder18 at 7:51 PM on October 9

OMG OMG OMG
posted by mwhybark at 7:54 PM on October 9 [2 favorites]

I don't know, adipocere. Seems like this game blows all the others...

...right out of the water.

YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:08 PM on October 9 [11 favorites]

farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain
for we've received orders f'r to sail back to Boston
and so nevermore shall we see you again

Ooooh, anybody want to compare scars?!

also: SHARK ATE GIRL might be my new band name. It wants to be someone's, that's for sure.
posted by unregistered_animagus at 8:08 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

I don't know, Greg Nog, it seems like stopping this shark...

...might not be a day at the beach.


YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by Ghidorah at 8:16 PM on October 9 [5 favorites]

Hell, yes!
posted by five fresh fish at 9:03 PM on October 9

That was great. Was the audio intentionally stuttering or was that my shitty internet hookup?

Either way ... havoc! With teeth!
posted by mannequito at 9:22 PM on October 9

Maybe we should just get a script on the posting screen that automatically adds "via RockPaperShotgun" whenever anyone makes a post about PC games?
posted by straight at 9:58 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

This was so completely fantastic. Thank you.
posted by malthas at 10:28 PM on October 9

When I sleep I am a shark - finally.
posted by Kloryne at 10:28 PM on October 9

that was amazing.
posted by xbonesgt at 10:43 PM on October 9

Glad to see Mausland.de can still kick shit over and stomp around cursing.
posted by Rat Spatula at 10:58 PM on October 9

Try as I might, I could not get sharkie to Super Jump when I wanted him to. Perhaps my slow computer is to blame.
posted by LogicalDash at 11:14 PM on October 9

No frickin' lasers on its head. lame.
posted by DreamerFi at 11:28 PM on October 9

"Eric ... did a shark just pull down a jumbo jet with the space shuttle on its back?"

"Yeah, H., it did."

"The get me a fishing pole, Eric, because that shark ... [dons sunglasses]

... is going down."

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
posted by bwg at 11:42 PM on October 9 [1 favorite]

I just brought down a STEALTH BOMBER. It tried to go into stealth mode, but my mighty shark jaws were just too quick for it.

Then, I chomped down on a flock of ducks as they flew south for the winter. Heh, heh, heh. Suckers.
posted by po at 11:44 PM on October 9

Brody and Quint make a phonecall.
posted by vrakatar at 12:06 AM on October 10 [2 favorites]

Damn, but life is good when you're a shark.

My high score is somewhere around 1.8M. I managed to get every aircraft, I think.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:06 AM on October 10

Oh my God this is BITCHIN'.

I have not yet determined if singing this while playing improves my score, but I'm fixin' to find out.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:16 AM on October 10

I could use this in my English classes in Poland to demonstrate all the different kinds of watercraft to wide-eyed students.

"OK everyone, with your partner, note down the names of as many vehicles the shark destroys as you can!"
posted by mdonley at 1:45 AM on October 10

Supertransporter!
posted by mdonley at 1:49 AM on October 10

Oh! My! Gosh! Oh My Gosh!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:49 AM on October 10

This is probably the first game that has ever really faithfully expressed how I feel, deep inside.
posted by From Bklyn at 7:09 AM on October 10 [8 favorites]

That was very educational, I learned a lot.
posted by mazola at 7:55 AM on October 10

Singing Shark
posted by Mick at 8:44 AM on October 10

I love sharks; I really do.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:55 AM on October 10

Why does the shark sound like a dog? Other then that amazing game.
posted by lilkeith07 at 9:10 AM on October 10

Okay, how do I download this to my Mac, so I don't have to keep waiting for it to load when I go to the site?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:39 AM on October 10

My favorite little detail in this game (aside from the unspeakable awesomeness) is how it displays that little Google Maps snippet of Miami in the "miles to go" indicator. It's so authentic! It makes me feel like I'm really there...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:36 PM on October 10

Quality game.
posted by Aizkolari at 10:15 PM on October 10

I launched a space shuttle and several jumbo jets into the air.

I think I might have been playing backwards.
posted by dmd at 7:26 AM on October 11

dmd, it sounds like your CPU may be running in reverse.

Here's how to check: play an MP3 file of some country music. See if you get your dog back, or you get your truck back, or you get your house back, or you get your wife back...
posted by FishBike at 7:35 AM on October 11 [1 favorite]