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Christmas taken care of.
October 10, 2009 1:37 PM   Subscribe

HIV Clock. Masturbating dinosaur wall art. Kitten Head on Amputee. Regretsy posts some of the stranger items offered for sale on Etsy.
posted by permafrost (63 comments total) 24 users marked this as a favorite

 
TOTALLY SCARY.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:39 PM on October 10, 2009


Obamarac!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:39 PM on October 10, 2009


Oh. Em. Gee. That's some pretty out there art... Cool, though!
posted by gemmy at 1:40 PM on October 10, 2009


Wonder if this will go the way of Mefi's own The Good, The Bad and the Etsy?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:40 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now where did I put my Frida Kahlo uterus plushie?
posted by fire&wings at 1:44 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


So many vaginas!
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:44 PM on October 10, 2009


I kinda like those corset jeans, to be honest.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:48 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I kinda like those corset jeans, to be honest.

Agreed.
posted by desjardins at 1:53 PM on October 10, 2009


"Regretsy" = best blog name ever.
posted by EatTheWeak at 1:54 PM on October 10, 2009


what. the. fuck. NSFW, I guess?
posted by desjardins at 1:55 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


what. the. fuck. NSFW, I guess?

Points for the Texans logo on its left foot though, no?
posted by joe lisboa at 1:57 PM on October 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


I really enjoy these and want to rent some cheap gallery space in Chelsea* and do this as an exhibit

Too bad these are too pricey for me to purchase them and have them shipped


*it's all relative
posted by kathrineg at 1:58 PM on October 10, 2009


I would completely wear that ugly blue houndstooth coat. It's smashing.
posted by FelliniBlank at 2:00 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Craftastrophe is very similar.
posted by princelyfox at 2:00 PM on October 10, 2009


I love the creature made out of pizza roll bags. If I had that, I could have someone to comfort me when all the fillings burst out of my pizza roll during baking.
posted by mmmbacon at 2:03 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Winnie disturbed me deeply. I need to go cry and take a shower now.
posted by reenum at 2:05 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's just full of things I wish I could now unsee.

I think some of these -- just going by the prices -- really must be jokes. At least that's what I'm going to be telling myself.

(I liked The Good, The Bad, and The Etsy better. I understand why she stopped doing it, but it was more fun and it didn't make me want to wash my brain out afterward.)
posted by darksong at 2:05 PM on October 10, 2009


OH GOD WHAT. The man/bird bestial madness! The single fake severed testicle! The pigeon feet! The beargina, you guys. THE BEARGINA.

The sad thing is, I am totally going to end up getting that masturbating dinosaur for someone this xmas. Oh etsy. Why you do this?
posted by elizardbits at 2:08 PM on October 10, 2009 [2 favorites]


I do think that the cat amputee painting is worth $99k.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:16 PM on October 10, 2009


> The sad thing is, I am totally going to end up getting that masturbating dinosaur for someone this xmas.

Same. My first thought after "what the fuck?" was, ".. only $30!"

I probably need help.
posted by cj_ at 2:18 PM on October 10, 2009 [4 favorites]


Also: AHHHHHH WTF!
posted by cj_ at 2:22 PM on October 10, 2009 [3 favorites]


cj_ beat me to it. While it's rather WTFish, it's also rather... inspired. You know, in a Shoggoth kind of way.
posted by ooga_booga at 2:27 PM on October 10, 2009


What I don't understand is why I clicked on cj's "AHHHHHH WTF" link. Like there was going to be anything painless there.
posted by davejay at 3:00 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like how half of the comments about the corset jeans aren't even about the jeans, but more like hahaha fat ppl are fat.
posted by iconomy at 3:02 PM on October 10, 2009


The masturbating dinosaur is by a Minnesota artist. This fills me with an unexpected and inexplicable sense of regional pride.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:03 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know what goats like? They like grass. They like tin cans. They like going behind the shed and taking a shit in peace. They don’t like having leopard outfits strapped to their sagging haunches like Kim Cattrall.
posted by applemeat at 3:11 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sweet! I miss the old days of Who Would Buy That? or whatever it was called.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 3:13 PM on October 10, 2009


So, apropos of nothing, two summers ago someone spraypainted the phrase "BEAR SNATCH" all over the north end of Seattle. And it sort of disturbed me, because it's, y'know, not a part of the bear that people like to think about that often. Or at least, so I thought...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:17 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


Bear Snatch was a pretty prominent North Seattle gang. They had a turf war with the Otter Scrotes through much of the summer of 2001. I'm surprised more people don't know about it.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:21 PM on October 10, 2009 [13 favorites]


thanks, cj. Now I will never sleep again.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 3:22 PM on October 10, 2009


In a similar vein, there's also What Not to Craft, because Etsy has so much horror to go around.
posted by action man bow-tie at 3:40 PM on October 10, 2009


Man, I was so totally going to post this site on Monday! I thought it was a complete parody when I first saw it. I thought of "The Good, The Bad and the Etsy" as well, but this looks more like Yes Men take on etsy. I didn't think the crap was real. I was marveling at the fact that they even did the little thumbnails and did the models without heads and such. I was amazed at how well they nailed it. Then, My GOD IT LINKS TO THE SITE AND THE STUFF IS THERE!
posted by cjorgensen at 3:50 PM on October 10, 2009


That vagina-bear with the Texans logo? I'm not going to do any research about it, but it would make sense in a lot of ways if my roommate freshman year at college was either behind that or married to someone that is.
posted by Ufez Jones at 4:00 PM on October 10, 2009


The Good, The Bad and The Etsy has been death-threatened to closure. :\
posted by mistersquid at 4:10 PM on October 10, 2009


I never thought I'd see a real squirrelfish. Someone alert the WebKit team, pronto!
posted by Mikey-San at 4:29 PM on October 10, 2009


No home is complete without a Frida Kahlo Uterus Plushie.
posted by metagnathous at 4:31 PM on October 10, 2009


Masturbating dinosaur is dangerously close to becoming an Internet Meme. If someone were evil enough to show it at Fark ... *shudders*
posted by localroger at 4:32 PM on October 10, 2009


Concerning the beargina: from the you-can't-un-know-it department: Plushies and SPHs (soooo NSFW).
And this, kids, is why googling is dangerous and should require some kind of license.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 4:53 PM on October 10, 2009


I find this one actually kind of adorable, in a kitschy kind of way. Although the Baby Jesus could be a bit more detailed...
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:02 PM on October 10, 2009


I really like the fetus cat toys. I want to get a few for my kitties.

So far, some of Regretsy's posts have made it seem like they're doing far more for the stores featured than one might expect. I think being featured there may end up being more like a badge of pride for most people, rather than something yielding death threats and other sadness... Well, I hope.
posted by Ms. Saint at 5:04 PM on October 10, 2009


You know if you order the penis dinosaur and the Vagina bear, pick up a six-pack and maybe a pizza, and you've got yourself a pretty good Saturday night right there.
posted by Skygazer at 5:05 PM on October 10, 2009 [7 favorites]


Yikes!
posted by Daddy-O at 5:33 PM on October 10, 2009


The masturbating dinosaur is by a Minnesota artist.

So is the AHHHHHH WTF!

Minnesota League of Rogue Taxidermists.

Some of the stuff on this blog is truly awful, but some of it is wicked sweet. The meerkat nativity scene? Adorable, really. The Trojan pillows? OK, they won't be featured in an interior design magazine, but they are clever.

I have made something like this before for the express purpose of grossing someone out. It was very effective. I have also made something like this, and now I have an idea for what to give my rat-loving friend for her birthday.

When I set up my Etsy shop, I am going to purposefully make something weird and grotesque so I can be featured on this blog and get lots of hits.

Oh, who am I kidding. It's what I do anyway.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:33 PM on October 10, 2009


Love the backhanded compliment in this listing. Of COURSE all the most sexual people can tell that it's a cum and eyeshadow abomination at a glance. Only prudes don't realize that their friends would hang the semen of local characters on the wall. God, what are you, a virgin?
posted by sugarfish at 5:34 PM on October 10, 2009


Astro Zombie: The masturbating dinosaur is by a Minnesota artist. This fills me with an unexpected and inexplicable sense of regional pride.

She shares my birthday. Almost made me want to believe in astrology.
posted by Kattullus at 5:53 PM on October 10, 2009


Dear Craftatrophe:

I must have this. It matches my couch perfectly.

I will also require a set of these.

And I know someone who would like a pair of these.


What the hell do these people like, anyway?

Apparently are disgusted and offended by everything that is awesome.

I imagine their houses are tastefully decorated with perfectly matching abstract "art" prints that match their Room and Board furniture set, which is arranged with perfect feng shui, where they sit and delight at mocking everything that is odd or offbeat on their Macbook Airs. Then they drink themselves into a tasteful stupor on chardonnay while watching Sex in The City reruns.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:57 PM on October 10, 2009


Masturbating dinosaur is dangerously close to becoming an Internet Meme.

YES. One can only hope that the phrase wankasaurus rex is involved somehow.

I very much look forward to awakening tomorrow morning with a vicious hangover and an excruciatingly nonjudgmental email from etsy informing me of my drunken purchase.
posted by elizardbits at 6:50 PM on October 10, 2009


louche, I predict that if you decorated your house with Vagina Bears, hairy silicone ovoids, amputated chicken feet, and the the like, it would quickly become as tiresome as the matching abstract art prints.

In other words, you are committing the Fallacy of the Excluded Middle.

that having been said, the Fish in a Squirrel Suit is awesome.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:58 PM on October 10, 2009


what. the. fuck. NSFW, I guess?

I don't know. The placement makes me think that bear had surgery on its lower intestine and the scar didn't heal up so well.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:25 PM on October 10, 2009 [1 favorite]


I saw this the other day and thought that dinosaur looks like he's ejaculating a T-1000.
posted by lexicakes at 7:37 PM on October 10, 2009


I hope you noticed that "IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR DINO"S ASS mounted on a plaque to match" you only need to add an extra 10$, and you will get the front and back of a masturbating terrible lizard. All, for only 40$.

And you can request a color, or have one chosen for you.

I don't see how you can afford not to buy one.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:10 PM on October 10, 2009


In other words, you are committing the Fallacy of the Excluded Middle.

Oh, I was. Well spotted. I was using it as hyperbole to make a joke that was apparently unsuccessful.

You were also correct about my house.*




*I do not actually live in a nest. If I did, I wouldn't have to look at this hideous wallpaper.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:39 PM on October 10, 2009


And if you dig Fish in a Squirrel Suit, you will enjoy this very much. I have a print of Skunk on my wall.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:42 PM on October 10, 2009


I have a print of Skunk on my wall.

I always wondered how Boris Blank kept busy between Yello albums...
posted by Lazlo at 8:59 PM on October 10, 2009


What on earth would be the proper occasion to wear this? An orgy?
posted by SisterHavana at 10:50 PM on October 10, 2009


Masturbation was probably a pipe dream for a 20ft high creature with arms extending just 3ft. No wonder they got cranky. (But there is actually a t-rex skeleton with the name "Wankel")
posted by rongorongo at 4:10 AM on October 11, 2009


WHY?
posted by fermezporte at 9:10 AM on October 11, 2009


That squirrel/fish hybrid thing has "made by a serial killer" all over it.
posted by stormpooper at 1:42 PM on October 11, 2009


Someone's been writing "dickchicken" all over New York, complete with, uh, illustrations. It's catchy, but it's no "otter scrote."
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:21 PM on October 11, 2009


I have seen the "dickchicken," graffiti!! Yes, I have. I often think what an interesting arrangement of words. And then I feel a little sick.
posted by Skygazer at 6:50 PM on October 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


Bah! It's but a poor substitute for the glorious Icelandic playground insult 'fartchicken.'
posted by Kattullus at 10:29 PM on October 11, 2009


Masturbation was probably a pipe dream for a 20ft high creature with arms extending just 3ft. No wonder they got cranky.

Perhaps, but where there's a will, there's a way.
posted by metagnathous at 3:33 AM on October 12, 2009


Perhaps, but where there's a will, there's a way.

I just had a vision of a prostitute-Trex wearing a short pink dress.

I am now scared of myself.
posted by Solomon at 7:37 AM on October 12, 2009


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