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Mystery Google
October 14, 2009 1:12 AM   Subscribe

Mystery Google gives you what the person before you searched for. {via}
posted by Ljubljana (94 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Did anyone deliberately search for something rude or stupid just to imagine some random stranger getting a pagefull of unwanted results?
Me neither, I was just asking...
posted by AndrewStephens at 1:17 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


I got "How to communicate with a cute stranger".
posted by minifigs at 1:18 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Search engines that give entirely random results have been discussed previously.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:27 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


The previous searches make YouTube comments look insightful.

My first two were "i want a hug" and "what is it about"
posted by unSane at 1:30 AM on October 14, 2009


I got: "I'm standing right outside your window. Go to sleep."

I don't think I'mma use this site anymore.
posted by Mikey-San at 1:31 AM on October 14, 2009 [17 favorites]


I wonder if goatse is filtered...
posted by benzo8 at 1:32 AM on October 14, 2009


I got "moobs"
posted by nímwunnan at 1:32 AM on October 14, 2009


Reminds me of Twitter in a way. Short declarations ("I am hungry," "School awaits me"), links to something the sender has an interest in ("Underoath," "used dildos"), or maybe even political innuendo ("Fecundación in vitro" ).

The difference is that instead of posting it to the internet for anyone to see, forever; Mystery Google is more like slipping a note into a random locker at school. Someone's going to read it, but that's all you know. Any meaning you attach to your search is unimportant, because there's no way for the receiver to even begin to understand what your intentions are.

It's late and my brain isn't working, but this strikes me as the sort of thing that art people would go nuts over.
posted by clorox at 1:33 AM on October 14, 2009


It just keeps telling me to kill and giving me google map locations.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:33 AM on October 14, 2009 [6 favorites]


I've just been searching for "furry fandom" over and over again in the hopes of disturbing the maximum number of people in the least offensive way possible.
posted by tehloki at 1:33 AM on October 14, 2009


This appears to have been inspired by a recent blog post on this cafe, yes? (Based on domain registration.)
posted by disillusioned at 1:34 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


Alright, which one of you searched for "God helmet"?
posted by clorox at 1:34 AM on October 14, 2009


Search engines that give entirely random results have been discussed previously.

There's a difference between random results and someone else's results. There's also a difference between what you would search for with Google and what you "search" for with Mystery Google.
posted by clorox at 1:36 AM on October 14, 2009


I got a search that read "if you read this, copy and paste it into mystery google to reuse for the next victim.if you read this, copy and paste it into mystery google to reuse for the next victim.if you read this, copy and paste it into mystery google to reuse for the next victim."

No, I don't think I'll be doing that.
posted by JHarris at 1:37 AM on October 14, 2009


Now nothing stands in the way of our seeing Michael Jackson's posthumous last concert.

Other than my apathy.
posted by weston at 1:38 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


text 07896xxxxxx for cookies. you know you want to.

Huh?!?

(I've censored the actual number out of some misguided sense of protection.)
posted by i_cola at 1:38 AM on October 14, 2009


perfect. the web has been waiting for this.
posted by telstar at 1:44 AM on October 14, 2009


Eventually, I got - "if you read this, copy and paste it into mystery google to reuse for the next victim. Go on, I DARE YOU" which yielded search results for "stop doing this"
posted by EatTheWeak at 1:47 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


... which is advice I should have heeded, as continuing to play with Mystery Google got me some search results that led to trainwreck a Yahoo Answers thread that has pretty well compounded my thankfulness for AskMe and my general despair regarding basic literacy and decency online.
posted by EatTheWeak at 1:53 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Now nothing stands in the way of our seeing Michael Jackson's posthumous last concert.

Dutifully entered into Mystery Google.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:53 AM on October 14, 2009


Awwww, the one I got was sweet. It said, "Call your boyfriend and tell him you love him, he will appreciate hearing it no matter what time it is."

Adorable! *picks up phone*
posted by WidgetAlley at 1:56 AM on October 14, 2009


I got something sexual. This is my surprised face.

(Though the winky emoticon at the end of the search string was a nice touch).
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:59 AM on October 14, 2009


I got fuck the earth

Note not the world but the earth!!
posted by therubettes at 2:00 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just searched for "How can I be more like Son of Sam?"
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:08 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Turns out it won't accept search queries that are less than four characters long. So my questions about the FBI and CIA are left unanswered by this oracle.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:08 AM on October 14, 2009


I got "Help! A giantess stole my socks"
posted by Solon and Thanks at 2:17 AM on October 14, 2009


There must be a tremendous amount of filtering going on. Come on, Google, what did the person in front of me really search for?
posted by Auden at 2:24 AM on October 14, 2009


There must be a tremendous amount of filtering going on.

Hmm, I dunno. I've only hit "search" five times, and I've already gotten results for "dog sex", "fat boobs", and "lady gagas penis".
posted by arianell at 2:29 AM on October 14, 2009


Alright, which one of you searched for "God helmet"?

Hehehe. I just did, to ya know... pay it forward.
posted by moonshine at 2:29 AM on October 14, 2009


wait, is this the previous search from all of Google, or just the previous search of the person searching via Mystery Google?

Because... the result of my last Mystery Google search was ":-) If you get this search, have a nice day."
posted by Auden at 2:34 AM on October 14, 2009


A search for "mystery google" returns: That is the site you are on.

Aw, that's no fun!
posted by coizero at 2:36 AM on October 14, 2009


wait, is this the previous search from all of Google, or just the previous search of the person searching via Mystery Google?

I hope it's from the previous Mystery Google search.

Cause otherwise, it would be even weirder that the person before me was searching for info on a particular Metafilter mod's sexual organs.
posted by eatyourcellphone at 2:38 AM on October 14, 2009 [4 favorites]


I just clicked the search button without typing anything, and it told me "Please don't type gibberish." So I searched for "gibberish", and it told me "Well, aren't you clever."

That I am.
posted by hariya at 2:43 AM on October 14, 2009


I have been told that I am lying, to have a nice day, been directed to a few interesting music videos, someone is trying to convert me to go vegan, I have been damned, lost the game, and been linked to a painting of Obama naked with unicorns.

Seems like a normal day on the internet.
posted by Saydur at 2:50 AM on October 14, 2009 [3 favorites]


"colostomy explosion"

and this was just before breakfast... damn you, whoever you are!
posted by HuronBob at 2:58 AM on October 14, 2009


I typed in "Hello from Metafilter!" - I wonder if the person who gets it will understand. :D
posted by Xany at 3:01 AM on October 14, 2009


I got 'butt' and a youtube video for 'Woman Pissed Bout New Butt Implants'.
posted by shinyshiny at 3:10 AM on October 14, 2009


I typed in "goatse" about 8 or 9 times until I got "sleep" back.
posted by Pseudology at 3:34 AM on October 14, 2009


Big deal. Let me know when somebody does a search site that gives you results for what the next person asks.
posted by evilmidnightbomberwhatbombsatmidnight at 4:07 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


I liked putting in How do I kill the next person doing a search? over and over again.
posted by adipocere at 4:08 AM on October 14, 2009


My result: "How to pull a thorn from a lion's paw".
C'mon Androcles, just pay the $5 for AskMefi.
posted by jeremias at 4:18 AM on October 14, 2009


I got "gay sex". How predictable.
posted by pyrex at 4:28 AM on October 14, 2009


I did 3 searches for "What do I want for my birthday".

I got:
CDs
Drug paraphanalia
Owning Barack Obama

Hmm
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:31 AM on October 14, 2009


the person before me was searching for "hotmail"
posted by snofoam at 4:36 AM on October 14, 2009


Inspired by HuronBob, my search for: "colostomy grabbag" netted me "KITTENS! KITTENS! KITTENS!". Excellent!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:38 AM on October 14, 2009


wow - this is like an exquisite corpse in reverse - or inside out - or something...

i got "panda-shaped vegetables"

hee hee
posted by jammy at 4:58 AM on October 14, 2009


I got groovtesticles.

Learn something new every day!
posted by farishta at 5:13 AM on October 14, 2009


The Googles! They do nothing!
posted by oulipian at 5:18 AM on October 14, 2009


I got "tylertanklemoyne. That's my AIM. IM me some time."
posted by Damn That Television at 5:29 AM on October 14, 2009


Type in "gibberish" and it says "Well aren't you clever."

Not really. I couldn't think of anything else to type in.

So then I typed in "snark" and it did what it is advertised to do.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:37 AM on October 14, 2009


I typed in "Thunderbird icon" for the Hell of it and got back "fecal ingestion".

I don't want to play this game anymore.
posted by bwg at 5:44 AM on October 14, 2009


Nobody tell Ron Paulites about this.
posted by ghharr at 5:46 AM on October 14, 2009


"Am I wasting my life" resulted in "tudor davies kittens!"

Hmph.
posted by The Whelk at 5:48 AM on October 14, 2009


"why am I so alone?" ---> "i like pie"
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 AM on October 14, 2009


Well, the results aren't filtered, but I can attest that my search for "Mercy" (saw a commercial this morning...ohhhh, nurses!) gave me the results for "fuck," so there's some poetry there for you.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:09 AM on October 14, 2009


You sick weirdos!
posted by blue_beetle at 6:12 AM on October 14, 2009


I got 'asswads'.

I think this site has great potential.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:20 AM on October 14, 2009


"Did I leave the gas on?" --> Wheel of Time.

Hm.
posted by marginaliana at 6:24 AM on October 14, 2009


Someone left me "lube" and "get back to work!" Hmm....
posted by filthy light thief at 6:33 AM on October 14, 2009


I got a rock.
posted by jbickers at 7:01 AM on October 14, 2009 [2 favorites]


The googles, they do nothing.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 7:10 AM on October 14, 2009


...the server where this page is located isn’t responding.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:13 AM on October 14, 2009


Who searched for the 503? Not cool, people.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:21 AM on October 14, 2009


I want a google that returns what the person AFTER me will search for. (This could actually be done, with an imperceptible delay.)
posted by Obscure Reference at 7:35 AM on October 14, 2009


This has been the strangest thing- one of the websites I run has been getting a bunch of new hits every day for the past week from mysterygoogle.com - redirected right from their main page, which didn't make sense to me, since it sends you to google results page.

Then I realized that my website is the "I'm feeling lucky" hit for a particular search term, one which must appeal to the nature of those wishing to creep out the next mystery googler:

"I can see you"
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 7:52 AM on October 14, 2009 [1 favorite]


Not responding for me. Way to go. You wise guys broke it!
posted by orme at 8:41 AM on October 14, 2009


My second attempt yielded results for "boobs".

Now I'll be busy the rest of the day.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:03 AM on October 14, 2009


sports, Jonas Brothers...gee, this is depressing.
posted by kozad at 9:16 AM on October 14, 2009


lol butz = Chuck Norris?
posted by slogger at 9:18 AM on October 14, 2009


Got a link to this ... am now a happy person.
posted by jbickers at 9:19 AM on October 14, 2009


hey, i just got introduced to a new band! and they were HORRIBLE.
posted by naju at 9:20 AM on October 14, 2009


This could have good augury abilities.

Let's see

"What does the future hold?" ----> "your momma's so fat"

"What should I avoid?" ---> "the elf flies at midnightadas"

"What should I embrace?" --- "LOOL"

"What will become of me?" ---> "AHHH LOOK BEHIND YOU ZOMBIE"
posted by The Whelk at 9:22 AM on October 14, 2009


Also, crowdsourcing taken to a new low.
posted by jbickers at 9:24 AM on October 14, 2009


"where is my penis?" -> "penis envy"
posted by idiopath at 9:24 AM on October 14, 2009


"MetaFilter!" --------> "Gay people are so gay"

"The Whelk" ---------> "quite a find"


Well, I'm not arguing with it.
posted by The Whelk at 9:25 AM on October 14, 2009


"Meaning" --> "Mike Meyers"
posted by hellojed at 9:34 AM on October 14, 2009


"What is best in life?" ------> "i love you"

I don;t know if I should be charmed for freaked out.

I'm leaning toward freaked out.
posted by The Whelk at 9:35 AM on October 14, 2009


Starland Vocal Band ------ MyLifeisAverage.com

Go figure
posted by pianomover at 9:37 AM on October 14, 2009


Wasn't there some kinda of thing like this on WebCrawler way back when? It would give you a page of current searches and you could refresh the page infinitely? I think there was a regular one and a naughty one and had some sort of inspector logo.
posted by sweetmarie at 9:40 AM on October 14, 2009


I searched for my work and came back with - "Camo Edible Condom". Somehow that is just so fitting.
posted by Jenny is Crafty at 10:46 AM on October 14, 2009


Aww.. "i cant tell him that so i will confess to you mysterygoogler i love you foivos"
posted by Free word order! at 11:16 AM on October 14, 2009


"obey the kitteh" --> "Jesus"
Huh.

"ceiling cat is watching you masturbate" --> "nun lube"
Uh ...

"socks" --> "MLIA"
Hm.

"mantastic" --> "largest belly button in the world"
Downright creepy.
posted by notashroom at 11:41 AM on October 14, 2009


Wikipedia article "Phalloplasty refers to the (re-)construction of a penis or, sometimes, artificial modification of the penis by surgery, often for cosmetic purposes. It is also often used to refer to penis enlargement. The first phalloplasty done for the purposes of sexual reassignment was performed on transman Michael Dillon in 1946 by Dr. Harold Gillies, which is documented in Pagan Kennedy's book The First Man-Made Man."

This has confirmed everything I know about the internet: it is all about the penis.
posted by nestor_makhno at 11:42 AM on October 14, 2009


"Bunny clone." Awesome.
posted by futureisunwritten at 12:49 PM on October 14, 2009


phalloplasty ---> in excelsior vaginalistic

close enough.

who's the joker who did "If you're reading this, I'm you from the future. That may not make sense to you now, but you will understand tommorrow. Don't be alarmed, I mean no h.arm. I'm just here to warn you not to drink tap water until Christmas! xoxo, your future self:)"
posted by mrgrimm at 1:13 PM on October 14, 2009


Hah, I got Ron Paul.
posted by Nattie at 4:06 PM on October 14, 2009


Oh great. "I want c*ck now" is going to be in my work browser history.
posted by Kickstart70 at 6:30 PM on October 14, 2009


I entered "defy gravity," ... and got "what is love?"

I think this thing works.
posted by namasaya at 7:49 PM on October 14, 2009


it sent me right back here. no lie.
posted by djduckie at 7:54 PM on October 14, 2009


So, then I tried "how to solve this," ... and got "quantum physics."

People, the thing was just switched on and it's already a master of love and 21st century science.
posted by namasaya at 8:03 PM on October 14, 2009


So, I had to ask the obvious question: "is this thing safe?"

And I'm relieved to say it answered "yes, yes i am." So that's all right then.
posted by namasaya at 8:06 PM on October 14, 2009


Speaking of safe, I got...somebody's phone number. Really. With a "Call Please!" before it. Should I give a ring?
posted by FireballForever at 8:09 PM on October 14, 2009


Of course whenever I try it I get stuff like "hot girls with huge boobs"
posted by MustardTent at 6:31 AM on October 15, 2009


I randomly got someones number. They told me to text them. So I did...I think I frightened them away.
posted by mind2body at 1:51 PM on October 15, 2009


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