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October 15, 2009 7:03 AM   Subscribe

I Have Seen the Future, and It Is Snuggie. The arrival of autumn through much of the United States means that sales should be heating up for Allstar Products Group, the juggernaut behind the Snuggie ads. More and more infomercials are capitalizing on the opportunity to market their wares to mainstream audiences as traditional companies pull back from prime time ad spends. The Wall Street Journal reports that one entrepreneur is bringing "as seen on TV" products to rural India, staging live shows for people without TVs. It seems you really can't escape them.
posted by woodway (64 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well you certainly can't escape them with your arms trapped under an old-fashion blanket, that for sure.
posted by chairface at 7:13 AM on October 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


I actually once got a Snuggie for Easter. In New Orleans.

People are so strange.
posted by liketitanic at 7:16 AM on October 15, 2009


I worked with someone once who was an ex-finance director of a company that sold via infomericials. According to their data, people used to watch them more than once, or even lots of times, before they bought the product. Scary stuff.
posted by DanCall at 7:16 AM on October 15, 2009


I wonder if there will be more Snuggie pub crawls this year. I, for one, thought that was an awesome idea, but I expect to be in the minority for that.
posted by gaspode at 7:17 AM on October 15, 2009


Working on the patent for my Slanket/Snuggie hybrid: The Slugnet.
posted by sourwookie at 7:17 AM on October 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I would like for Eric Webber to shave off his soul patch.
posted by everichon at 7:18 AM on October 15, 2009


I was in BJs yesterday and saw the Snuggie for dogs. What's next? Snuggie for your coffee? Your furniture? Your car? Your books? Your house? They are not going to rest until the whole world is Snuggified.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:19 AM on October 15, 2009


I bought a Snuggie this weekend. My wife laughed at me at first, but now she gnashes her teeth with jealousy every time I cocoon myself in mircofiber plushness. It will not be long now until she buys her own.

The Snuggie does have one major design flaw as a Ultimate Couch Potato Wrap: It is (distressingly) hard to scratch oneself while wearing a Snuggie. You know in the ad where they show how hard it is to answer a phone or use the remote without exposing your hand to the chill of winter? Well, the functionality that keeps you warm and toasty there actually prevents you from giving yourself a good scratch. You either need to withdraw your arm into the Snuggie (which is tricky if you've spent some time focusing on Optimum Back Coverage) or open up the Snuggie and reach your besnugged arm beneath, which breaks the seal.

So if you'd like to make a few hundred thousand, please consider making a Snuggie For Dudes with special ScratchFlap technology. You could disguise the ScratchFlap as one of the Snuggie's handy pockets to ease awkwardness around the couch.

"Daddy, why are you reaching into your pocket?" Little Susie asks.
"I'm just looking for a mint I left in there last night," Dad replies, a knowing wink delivered to the camera as he gives himself a good, long scratch.
"Thanks, Snuggie For Dudes with ScratchFlap Technology!" Dad's balls whisper.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:20 AM on October 15, 2009 [36 favorites]


My husband and roommate have invented an item called the Terrible Towel Snuggie Shamwow, bringing together different types of fabric products they find ridiculous. So far all we have is a Shamwow box with "Terrible Towel Snuggie" written in sharpie above the name.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:21 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Two of my siblings have Slankets, and they like 'em. They're a much nicer fabric than Snuggies, which are just cheap-ass fleece.
posted by echo target at 7:24 AM on October 15, 2009


We got the dog Snuggies at the store I work at the other day. On the back there's a picture of dogs playing backgammon.

Dogs. In Snuggies. Playing backgammon.
posted by neckro23 at 7:25 AM on October 15, 2009 [12 favorites]


Dogs. In Snuggies. Playing backgammon.
What? Everyone knows cribbage is a cat's game.
posted by verb at 7:35 AM on October 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


No, no, no. The Slanket is a far superior product. SUPERFUZZ!
posted by brittafilter at 7:37 AM on October 15, 2009


I think a Snuggle Shamwow would totally work. If you spilled something, you could just throw yourself on it. And a car wash would be a full body workout. Wins all around!
posted by Go Banana at 7:38 AM on October 15, 2009 [5 favorites]


Remind me again how a Snuggie is anything beyond a bathrobe turned around? It's longer, maybe?
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:40 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


I knew I wanted to buy either a Slanket or a Snuggie for my wife on Mother's day. It would be the perfect gift for sitting out on the porch on cool spring nights or watching TV during the winter. People are very loyal to their preferred brand, however, so I had a hard time deciding which one to get. Like I do with pretty much every other choice in life, I searched AskMe to see what they had to say.

I eventually decided that the Slanket was the better product, with qualities far superior to the Snuggie, qualities that my wife would appreciate, and we will fight to the death anyone who thinks otherwise.
posted by bondcliff at 7:42 AM on October 15, 2009


No belt.
posted by grubi at 7:43 AM on October 15, 2009


Seeing Hank Moody in a Snuggie on last week's Californication was a great visual gag.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:43 AM on October 15, 2009


I call bullshit--I don't think dogs can play backgammon. Our Boxer struggles with Candyland, it's a real slog just getting through it. Then you have to convincingly act as though you didn't simply let him win, or you get the whining and the anxiety boner.
posted by everichon at 7:43 AM on October 15, 2009 [9 favorites]


oh man, Go Banana, that was my first big laugh of the day. I can just see someone spilling their coffee and then flinging themselves on top of it to mop it up!
posted by silverstatue at 7:44 AM on October 15, 2009


Wow, I love the no TV angle. It's back to 19th century traveling salesmen.
posted by Pants! at 7:44 AM on October 15, 2009


All I have to add to this discussion is the Consumer Reports test of the Snuggie (done at the behest of the Consumerist consumer commando squad, who had all recently become their employees). They seem not to have been terribly impressed with it, to say the least.
posted by killdevil at 7:45 AM on October 15, 2009


So, I don't have a television nor do I watch TV.

As a side effect of this advanced socialogical lifestructure, I am confused about this "Snuggie". Aren't they just blankets with holes in them?

TLDR: No Tv. Don't watch Infomercials. Very advanced state of human existence. Something about the article, but mostly, look at me! No TV!
posted by Lord_Pall at 7:47 AM on October 15, 2009


It seems you really can't escape them.

I've only ever seen a Snuggie commercial via YouTube and then only for the express purpose of seeing what all the shouting was about.

ObNeverWatchTV.
posted by DU at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2009


Wait, wait, wait. Wouldn't a Thneed be even better than a Slanket or a Snuggie?

After all, it is most useful! A thneed, a fine something-that-all-people-need! It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove! It's a hat! But it has other uses, yes, far beyond that. You can use it for carpets, for pillows, for sheets, for curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats! And something which everyone, everyone, EVERYONE needs.
posted by zizzle at 7:49 AM on October 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


Remind me again how a Snuggie is anything beyond a bathrobe turned around?

Backwards bathrobes don't bring out the need for people to say "Remind me again how a Snuggie is anything beyond a bathrobe turned around?" every goddamn time they're brought up in any context whatsoever.
posted by bondcliff at 7:49 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


So, I don't have a television nor do I watch TV.

My word, how novel and progressive! Do not miss this opportunity to tell us more about your freedom from the shackles of the idiot box, sir!
posted by killdevil at 7:53 AM on October 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


Dogs. In Snuggies. Playing backgammon.

Sounds like the next installment of the classic art series: Dogs Playing Poker... Dogs Playing Pool, now, completing the trifecta of velvet goldmine-ness Dogs. In Snuggies. Playing Backgammon.
posted by edgeways at 7:54 AM on October 15, 2009


I love my Slanket. No better way to play video games in the New England winter. It's good fabric, too.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:55 AM on October 15, 2009


MetaFilter: Dogs. In Snuggies. Playing backgammon.
posted by bakerina at 7:57 AM on October 15, 2009


Gizmodo comparison. Seems my beloved Slanket comes out on top, with the only con being $38, the most expensive of the big three.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:01 AM on October 15, 2009


The local ABC affiliate in Indy is nigh-on unwatchable throughout the weekend anymore, due to the sheer volume of half-hour infomercials they've opted to run in-lieu of actual programming. A couple of the independent stations are just as bad. The only respite, it seems, is the occasional college football game. Then, it's right back to the informercials.

I'm just amazed that you can stretch an ad for a lawn trimmer to 30 minutes. I shudder to imagine a half-hour Snuggie infomercial.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:03 AM on October 15, 2009


Slanket? Snugglie? I laugh up my sleeve at your thermal thinness, cheap artificial fibers, and juvenile portmanteau trademarks. I have a Blankoat made from the wool of Icelandic sheep. (It also doubles as a cloak for those moments in my life when I feel like Emperor Palpatine or Oddr Snorrason).
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 8:08 AM on October 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


In lieu of these items, I wear clothes. When watching TV or reading, I tend to stay warm... in Clothes™!
posted by grubi at 8:12 AM on October 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


For some reason I want this to be a metaphor for something but it's just not working.
posted by The Whelk at 8:18 AM on October 15, 2009


It strikes me that this picture from the Gizmodo page should be rendered as a lavish Renaissance-style painting.
posted by naju at 8:19 AM on October 15, 2009


It strikes me that this picture from the Gizmodo page should be rendered as a lavish Renaissance-style painting.

I see this as more suited to the Flemish Baroque style, myself.
posted by killdevil at 8:23 AM on October 15, 2009




In lieu of these items, I wear clothes. When watching TV or reading, I tend to stay warm... in Clothes™!

Clothes are lame. My parents wear clothes to this day!
posted by krinklyfig at 8:37 AM on October 15, 2009


Yes, and cars are just boxes with wheels.

THINK BIGGER PEOPLE. THINK FAMILY SIZED SOCKS!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:39 AM on October 15, 2009


O wow that Blankoat is creepy looking.
posted by echo target at 8:43 AM on October 15, 2009


I have a Blankoat made from the wool of Icelandic sheep.

Anyone who didn't click on that link is truly missing out on the Best of the Web - from the product images (which include three pictures of people modeling the Blankoat and one of what appears to be a body wrapped in it) to the purchase page (which also offers something called a "Whalet" in colors including Psoriasis and Necrosis).
posted by kittyprecious at 8:45 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had this idea a while back for "the infomercial for itself", basically it would mostly be a bunch of testimonials:

"This infomercial you are watching right now changed my life"

"Are you tired of the boring meaningless life you had before you were watching this infomercial? Well that's all about to change, because that time is over and now you are watching THIS INFOMERCIAL"

"Hi, I'm the inventor of the infomercial you are watching right now, and I just want you to know that this infomercial is the biggest innovation in 'nothing-else-to-watch-on-the-TV-so-leave-it-on-the-infomercial' since just about ever. No more numbers to call, no more easy payments of 19.95, no more operators standing by. Just this infomercial. Nothing else."

"If you act now, you will no longer be experiencing this infomercial. So don't act. Just keep watching. Just keep enjoying this infomercial for itself."
posted by idiopath at 8:49 AM on October 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I know a few people with Snuggies and am jealous of them.

Also Snuggies make Amanda Marcotte go into fits of classist bullshit so that makes me happy, too.

good god, the comments on that post
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:50 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]




I think you have to be a certified Druid to wear a Blankoat.
posted by Go Banana at 9:03 AM on October 15, 2009


I heard you singing "Night Cheese."

THERE IS NEW 30 ROCK TODAY AND THAT MAKES LIFE WORTH LIVING
posted by flaterik at 9:37 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


After all, it is most useful! A thneed, a fine something-that-all-people-need! It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove! It's a hat! But it has other uses, yes, far beyond that. You can use it for carpets, for pillows, for sheets, for curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats! And something which everyone, everyone, EVERYONE needs.

Huh. I love me some Lorax, so I wonder why I've never noticed before that the thneed pitch goes along pretty well with Aguas de Marco. All it needs is another seventy uses, and whoever the Brazilian equivalent of the Once-ler is.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 9:38 AM on October 15, 2009


Anyone who didn't click on that link is truly missing out on the Best of the Web - from the product images (which include three pictures of people modeling the Blankoat and one of what appears to be a body wrapped in it) to the purchase page (which also offers something called a "Whalet" in colors including Psoriasis and Necrosis).

...Also, whale foreskin shoes. Yup, whale foreskin shoes. Sure. Why not?
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:41 AM on October 15, 2009


"So, I don't have a television nor do I watch TV. "

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television
posted by mecran01 at 9:58 AM on October 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


These all look very comfy, but I prefer to wear sleeveless undershirts as the weather gets frosty. Not only does it leave my hands free to maneuver, but I don't have to worry about staining anything on the sleeves when I've putting my fingers in something viscous. As for the cold temperature itself, I find that it sharpens me, like the edge of a fine blade. And it's nice to feel something, you know? Just to cut through the numbness?
posted by Greg Nog at 10:02 AM on October 15, 2009


whale foreskin shoes

"Minke dork" sounds so much more evocative.
posted by kittyprecious at 10:18 AM on October 15, 2009


Also Snuggies make Amanda Marcotte go into fits of classist bullshit so that makes me happy, too.

Wow. Sounds like someone needs to take Amelie Gillette's course in expressing pop-culture indignation without coming off as a completely humorless snot.
posted by kittyprecious at 10:24 AM on October 15, 2009


Snuggies has the right idea, but do they have to be so ugly? I've been wearing various iterations of a "blanket coat" for nearly 20 years-- two layers of polar fleece using the now-discontinued Folkwear pattern for the 1920s cocoon coat. (somebody else's version). I guess I should have pattented the idea.

(It's really really warm. I LOVE my blanket coat.)
posted by nax at 11:24 AM on October 15, 2009


Backwards bathrobes don't bring out the need for people to say "Remind me again how a Snuggie is anything beyond a bathrobe turned around?" every goddamn time they're brought up in any context whatsoever.

Well, alright then.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:39 AM on October 15, 2009


I cut a hole in my Snuggie because 1) I'm dirty and 2) I'm always cold.
posted by stormpooper at 11:48 AM on October 15, 2009


Wow, I love the no TV angle. It's back to 19th century traveling salesmen.

Except they're shills for foreign corporations, and probably cost less than producing and running localized ads, should there be enough TVs for a large segment of the population to own them.

I know "developed nations" try to export consumerism by any means necessary, but it still makes me really sad. I realize that this is in part for a dream of a quieter part of the world, devoid of people shilling unnecessary products to the masses, and that also depresses me that this is something I think about fondly.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:46 PM on October 15, 2009


Here's a pattern, so you can make your own. And you can buy antipill fleece for as little as $2.99 a yard from this site. And possibly even cheaper at your local fabric or craft store.
posted by marsha56 at 1:47 PM on October 15, 2009


I heard you singing "Night Cheese."

It was my boyfriend's birthday a few weeks ago, and one of our friends got him a Snuggie and a variety of cheeses. Best gift ever.

Really, the Snuggie/Slanket is the perfect gift. It's a wonderful product, but so lame that I would never even consider buying one for myself. But without the shame of purchase I'm free to enjoy it to my heart's content!
posted by yellowbinder at 1:55 PM on October 15, 2009


I bought a Snuggie and while I do love it, (a) a hole in the seam where one of the sleeves attaches formed almost immediately and (b) the cat tends to sleep on it when I'm not using it, so it's covered with cat fur.

Maybe I should get a Slanket instead.
posted by Lucinda at 2:20 PM on October 15, 2009


TEAM SLANKET 4 LIFE! Really they are so much better.

The other day I was considering posting over in AskMe looking for recommendations of good varieties of night cheese. I'm into smoked cheddar these days.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:17 PM on October 15, 2009


I tuck one blanket around my chest and over my legs and then drape a second one over my arms and shoulders. It has about the same effect as the sleeved blanket proponents claim. Am I doing something wrong?
posted by Karmakaze at 4:16 PM on October 15, 2009


Really, the Snuggie/Slanket is the perfect gift.

My darling boy bought me an electric lap blanket. OMG, the bliss. I am so addicted to that thing now, I cannot imagine life without it. After a hard work-out on the elliptical machine it is wonderfully soothing on my legs and it's also fabulous for warming-up the sheets before going to bed. This week we decided to hold off on lighting the pilot on our gas furnace and just snuggle up together on the couch with my blanket.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:57 PM on October 15, 2009


I think a Snuggle Shamwow would totally work. If you spilled something, you could just throw yourself on it. And a car wash would be a full body workout. Wins all around!

You mean a SnugWow?
posted by lexicakes at 8:07 AM on October 16, 2009


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