NA NA NA NA, hey Jude

October 28, 2009 8:49 PM

Hey Jude flowchart. Via.
posted by Caduceus (56 comments total)

Goodbye.
posted by jeffamaphone at 8:51 PM on October 28, 2009

Huh. Not really a flowchart. Not really much of anything.
posted by argybarg at 8:56 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

It's more of a syntax diagram or railroad diagram, really.
posted by hattifattener at 9:04 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

I disapprove of the use of the word "Flowchart" because it is clearly a Mains-Spoltzich diagram class VIa. Further, it appears to contain nothing but nonsense. Flagged as illogical. Someone link to a YouTube video of a line undulating in a predictable, soothing manner at once.
posted by No-sword at 9:07 PM on October 28, 2009 [13 favorites]

Ouch. What does Apple think?
posted by cjorgensen at 9:12 PM on October 28, 2009

I prefer the PowerPoint version.
posted by HTuttle at 9:13 PM on October 28, 2009

Okay, how many MeFites are kind of considering making a Power Point presentation of "Hey Jude" right now? Or is it just me?

Just me. Okay. Right.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 9:17 PM on October 28, 2009

I am offended by the redundant contingencies involving the "don't" loop. And if this were to be accurately programmed and modeled, it would need a "na" counter to know when to terminate, which should be pre-set to approximately 216.

And don't even get me started on the linked "Total Eclipse of the Heart."
posted by joan cusack the second at 9:19 PM on October 28, 2009 [7 favorites]

It's wrong. Nice idea, though.
posted by ooga_booga at 9:19 PM on October 28, 2009

I think this is quite wonderful. The post could only be improved with the addition of one more link. This one, of course.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:20 PM on October 28, 2009 [12 favorites]

For 20 points, please design a finite state machine to produce The Beatles' Helter Skelter.
posted by ooga_booga at 9:21 PM on October 28, 2009 [6 favorites]

Wow, it's finally an acceptable length. I've always thought that Hey Jude would be much improved by cutting off the last 3 minutes...
posted by schyler523 at 9:24 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Goodbye.

Let it be.
posted by mazola at 9:28 PM on October 28, 2009 [2 favorites]

Yeah, it's missing some key flow lines. Great idea, poor execution.
posted by k8lin at 9:30 PM on October 28, 2009

Okay, how many MeFites are kind of considering making a Power Point presentation of "Hey Jude" right now? Or is it just me?

Not me, but I thought about the Gettysburg Address in PowerPoint.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 9:32 PM on October 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

I tried to make these with a garbage bag, small birthday cake candles and some bent clothes hangars as a frame. I suck at making stuff that works.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:36 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Above post meant to be one down, but it makes as much sense here as there.
posted by Keith Talent at 9:37 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

Not really a flowchart.

Yes, but the Na loop made it for me.
posted by Artw at 9:51 PM on October 28, 2009 [4 favorites]

               ⇒ ⇒ this is the song that never ends
             ⇗                      ⇓
            ⇑       yes it goes on and on my friends
            ⇑                       ⇓
            ⇑       one day we... started singing it
            ⇑           not knowing what it was
            ⇑                       ⇓
            ⇑   and now we'll keep on singin' it forever
            ⇑                 just because
            ⇖                       ⇓
             ⇖ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇙ 

posted by Rhaomi at 10:05 PM on October 28, 2009 [26 favorites]

Related.
posted by Riki tiki at 10:28 PM on October 28, 2009 [8 favorites]

It's more of a syntax diagram

For 20 points, please design a finite state machine to produce The Beatles' Helter Skelter.

Finite state machines are coextensive with regular languages. Helter Skelter has a loop that involves getting to the bottom and then going back to the top of the slide. This loop terminates under the condition "I see you again".
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:34 PM on October 28, 2009 [16 favorites]

This sauce. It tastes .... weak.
posted by awfurby at 10:44 PM on October 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Continuing the analysis of Helter Skelter, the lines
Do you don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast but I'm miles above you
clearly necessitate a decision node to represent WANT or NOT WANT to love you. But the next line seems to require the methods of continuous mathematics, whereupon we break with the discrete logical schema we've employed in our earlier analysis in favor of techniques that can describe the relative rate of descent. Of course, I speak here of the calculus, and the rate of descent of course is the first derivative of the singer's position function. This position is described by the singer using the English or U.S. customary unit "miles", a quantity within the continuum of real numbers. So it is only through continuous mathematics that Helter Skelter can be fully appreciated.

Please read more about this in my forthcoming book "An Introduction to Helter Skelter via Transfinite Cohomology Theory", which has many interesting diagrams that explain not only the overt syntax of Helter Skelter, but also the underlying semantic underpinnings and what they mean for the coming revolution. Charles Manson not included.
posted by twoleftfeet at 10:55 PM on October 28, 2009 [9 favorites]

I liked it, and I agree with Artw, the Na loop is what did it for me.

And, Riki tiki, your "Related" link is hilarious.
posted by amyms at 11:47 PM on October 28, 2009

Can I just say that if you haven't visited Flapjax's youtube link, you must do so THIS INSTANT! Go on, we'll wait.

Worth it, right?
posted by Brainy at 12:38 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Just me. Okay. Right.

'Sokay I googled "Mains-Spoltzich diagram." And then I got annoyed that I couldn't spend the next hour or two reading about some German dude's rigorous flowchart taxonomy because it didn't exist.

I think shit like this is why I wound up in grad school.
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:54 AM on October 29, 2009 [8 favorites]

(Speaking of which, this calls for Don Knuth's The Complexity of Songs.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:57 AM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

For 20 points, please draw a Sankey diagram of this plate of beans.

Well posted Caduceus.
posted by honest knave at 1:20 AM on October 29, 2009

I want to see the flowcharts for Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds and I Am The Walrus.
posted by clearly at 2:02 AM on October 29, 2009

In the future we'll have machines to do this for us. I think that will save time.
posted by koeselitz at 2:46 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't understand this, I don't understand MetaFilter.
posted by Xurando at 3:24 AM on October 29, 2009

I've always thought that Hey Jude would be much improved by cutting off the last 3 minutes...
posted by schyler523 at 7:24 AM on October 29 [+] [!]

But that's the best part! They work it into a chant, then jam with it. Never enough of that sort of thing, as far as I'm concerned. But taste is subjective, I can appreciate how some folks would prefer something more tame.
posted by Goofyy at 3:51 AM on October 29, 2009

       ⇒ ⇒ metafilter thread
     ⇗              ⇓
     ⇑            moan
     ⇑              ⇓
     ⇑          complain
     ⇑              ⇓
     ⇑           nitpick
     ⇖              ⇓
       ⇖ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇐ ⇙ 

posted by rory at 3:53 AM on October 29, 2009 [9 favorites]

'Sokay I googled "Mains-Spoltzich diagram." And then I got annoyed that I couldn't spend the next hour or two reading about some German dude's rigorous flowchart taxonomy because it didn't exist.

To be fair, the International Committee of Diagrammarians acknowledged the pioneering work of Canadian Barbara Mains and jointly awarded the name of the MSD despite heated campaigning by Spoltzich and the Universität Düsseldorf. The fascinating history can be found here.
posted by horsewithnoname at 5:13 AM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dad says he was in the Navy and out to sea when he first heard Hey Jude, just after it was released. He and his shipmates had tuned it in from some fuzzy radio station somewhere just as the four minutes of na na na na started, and that part was long enough so they thought were hearing it complete. They said, it sure sounds like the Beatles, but what is up with this weird repetitive na na na song?
posted by The Loch Ness Monster at 5:40 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

Followed the via to this blog, which is chock full 'o' goodness. For example

"People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you’re not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you.

You, however, are forbidden to touch them. Trademarks, intellectual property rights and copyright law mean advertisers can say what they like wherever they like with total impunity.

Fuck that. Any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It’s yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.

You owe the companies nothing. Less than nothing, you especially don’t owe them any courtesy. They owe you. They have re-arranged the world to put themselves in front of you. They never asked for your permission, don’t even start asking for theirs."
— Banksy

so, nice post, thanks.
posted by theora55 at 6:35 AM on October 29, 2009 [10 favorites]

Pete Best and Repeat Best are sitting on a fence...
posted by hellbient at 6:41 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

The real song is more complicated than that state diagram (or whatever it is). Sliding window compression is probably a better way to represent the lyrics:

#!/usr/bin/python

import re

song = """
hey Jude, don't make it bad.
take a sad song and 3:2 better.
remember to let her into your heart,
then you can start 15 11:2 13.

0:3 be afraid.
22 were made 25 go out 10 get 17.
the minute 34 16:2 under 19 skin,
21:2 begin 25:4

40 anytime 52 feel 43 pain, 29:2 refrain,
31 carry 62 world upon 49 shoulders.
for well 60 know that it's 7 fool who plays 56 cool
by making his 70 80 little colder.
na 93:4, 93:4.

29:3 46 me down.
76 have found 47, now 38 40:3
14:15

so 119 130 39:2 133:2 in, 102:2 53,
you're waiting 74 someone 128 perform with.
136 104 76:4 just 152, 140:2 you'll do,
69 movement 152 need is on 122 shoulder.
93:8 101, yeah.

0:18 48:4 160 53:3 192
193 207:4 211, oh!

170 170:8, 180 181...
214:154"""

def f(m):
	x, n, z, a = m.group(1, 2, 3, 0)
	if not n:
		if x: a = words[int(x)].rstrip(',.\n') + z
		words.append(a)
		return a
	for i in range(int(n)): words.append(words[int(x)+i])
	if z: words[-1] = words[-1].rstrip('\n') + z
	return ' '.join(words[-int(n):])

words = []
print re.sub('(?m)^ *([a-z])', lambda m: m.group(1).capitalize(),
	re.sub('(\\d+)(?::(\\d+))?([,.\\n]*)|\\w[^ \\n]*\\n*', f, song))

posted by ryanrs at 7:04 AM on October 29, 2009 [13 favorites]

It doesn't include the "jude, judey, judah judah judey judey WAH!" bit?
posted by Meatbomb at 7:11 AM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

requisite call out to Hip Hop Lyric Charts (previously)
posted by bl1nk at 7:12 AM on October 29, 2009

Everyone can stop commenting; ryanrs has won the thread.

(What's the opposite of Godwin?)
posted by tzikeh at 7:24 AM on October 29, 2009

Calendar for Robert Smith.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:25 AM on October 29, 2009

I tried the Ramones "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue".

Hm. It works if you already know the lyrics.
posted by fontor at 7:51 AM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

It completely ignores the bridge and the best line in the song:

...for well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder...

Fail.
posted by lordrunningclam at 7:55 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

For 20 points, please design a finite state machine to produce The Beatles' Helter Skelter.

It's tough to type when I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!
posted by ALongDecember at 8:23 AM on October 29, 2009 [2 favorites]

Can I just say that if you haven't visited Flapjax's youtube link, you must do so THIS INSTANT!

Heh. It was an FPP back in April 2008.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:28 AM on October 29, 2009

Oh man, you mean they just keep singing, "Na, na, na, nanananaaaaahhh," FOREVER? I'm glad George Martin faded it out when he did, because I was totally sick of it by that point.
posted by not_on_display at 9:04 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

You say Goodbye

I say Hello
posted by pianomover at 9:52 AM on October 29, 2009

Oh man, you mean they just keep singing, "Na, na, na, nanananaaaaahhh," FOREVER?

The reason that it's not a true flowchart is that appears to be an undocumented decision making process determining which path to follow. I would posit that the same process would be capable of terminating the Na loop at the correct number of Nas.
posted by Artw at 10:03 AM on October 29, 2009


0 HOME
10 REM AROUND THE WORLD BY DAFT PUNK
20 FOR I = 1 TO 144
30 PRINT "AROUND THE WORLD, ";
40 NEXT I
50 END

posted by ALongDecember at 11:43 AM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

If ever there was a meme that needed stabbing, this is it.
posted by JeffK at 1:55 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

"na"

That is priceless.
posted by malapropist at 3:01 PM on October 29, 2009

JeffK: If ever there was a meme that needed stabbing, this is it.

Agreed. Kill it now.
posted by koeselitz at 3:22 PM on October 29, 2009

(Na* Batman)*
posted by erniepan at 10:36 PM on October 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

(Na* Batman)*

I smell a mashup.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:32 AM on October 30, 2009

Make sure to include the "bat manny, manna manna manny manny WAH!" bit.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:01 PM on October 30, 2009