Tommy Tater Adult Costume

October 31, 2009 8:23 AM

FASHION SWAT 09! The Goons from Something Awful review and comment on this year's best costumes. (Halloween Fashion Swat '08, '06, '05) previousish Science Fair SWAT :
posted by The Whelk (23 comments total)

Clearly you were putting together a post on this, while I was busy weeping with laughter at bits like,

The only people who would wear a costume like this are the sort of cocky assholes who should have died in a drunk driving accident in the 11th grade, but somehow survived when they flipped their parents' Lexus. They killed a family of four, and it should have driven them to suicide, but they are untouchable. It's not that they're evil, it's that they don't actually ever reflect on anything.

posted by ErikaB at 8:34 AM on October 31, 2009 [4 favorites]

DAMN YOU by the way. I didn't realize there were more of these. I'm supposed to be working but,

Just a big foam cushion for you when you fall down like a fat little chug pig. Go on chug pig, roll around next to the keg, groaning from the liquor sicks and slowly filling your top hat compartment with vomit.

posted by ErikaB at 8:36 AM on October 31, 2009

These guys are actually funny. For the first time in my life I find myself wishing for a podcast.
posted by Nelson at 9:05 AM on October 31, 2009

It's like they dressed up as funny for halloween - and then forgot to take their costume off and they've now been wearing it for five years.
posted by fuq at 9:54 AM on October 31, 2009

Fantastic. The funniest thing I've read in ages. This isn't even a funny bit, but I still love it:

"When you kill a guy like this, you don't even get the whole "oh God, I've killed a man" thing, you just sit down, light up a cigarette and wait for the cops."
posted by Flashman at 9:59 AM on October 31, 2009 [3 favorites]

Holy crap. And to think that I saw a Burger King costume at Target and thought that was the worst of bad Halloween costumes.
posted by autoclavicle at 10:26 AM on October 31, 2009

I like how this one from '06 starts off as a sassy berating of a terrible pizza costume, and ends up as a fairly accurate look into the mind of self-made businessmen who were looking to exploit an exploding housing market. And then sassily berating those businessmen.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:43 AM on October 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

Normally, I think SA is a bit immature, and the kind of thing I would have giggled at in late middle school. However, something about Halloween, the most regression-friendly holiday on Earth, makes them perfect for this subject. Great post!
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:07 AM on October 31, 2009

That was much funnier than I thought it would be, and also made me less crabby. God damn you.
posted by everichon at 11:11 AM on October 31, 2009

Still not working - still reading the SWAT articles - starting to feel a bit light-headed from the hilarity.

Zack: I don't know what sort of grandma you have, but every grandma I have met has to fight against cosmic forces not to be racist, and usually fails anyway. Not mean racist, just like, "Oh those colored boys on TV are so funny."

Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, and they're also baffled by the syntax surrounding the word "gay." As in, "I think the new housekeeper is a gay," or "I think the new neighbors are gays." They just have no control over that word.

Zack: It's slippery in their hands. They have trouble gripping it. That and jar lids. They need to have one of those magnetic jar openers except it helps them understand how to use the word gay.

posted by ErikaB at 11:18 AM on October 31, 2009

Metafilter: Normally, I think they're a bit immature, and the kind of thing I would have giggled at in late middle school.
posted by Evilspork at 11:31 AM on October 31, 2009

Halloween, the most regression-friendly holiday on Earth

But Mom! All my friends are going as other Gauss-Markov assumptions! Why why WHY can't I go as homoskedasticity?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:33 AM on October 31, 2009 [6 favorites]

It's so horrible it makes me want to buy fifty of them and then get groups of people to stand in darkened alleyways downtown. Like you walk past the alley and you see five of these guys standing around a burning oil drum. You'll keep walking, but you'll never forget what you saw.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:36 AM on October 31, 2009 [4 favorites]

There's all sorts of SWAT articles over on the right, on the 'More from this section' link. From the Ganguro Madness SWAT:

Dr. Thorpe: Wow, divorced of its disturbing racial implications, blackface is really quite a compelling fashion idea. They look like glazed hams dipped in big buckets of trinkets.
...
Zack: I bet when these girls wake up in the morning their sheets look like a colorized version of the Shroud of Turin.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:56 AM on October 31, 2009

That was fuh-hunnnn-eyyy!!! Thank-you.

From one of the reviews of the linked to tina tater costume:
"Let me start of by saying this was bought as a couple costume with my husband being Tommy Tater. At the begining I was worried due to us reading a review stating it was a costume that was very hot and stuffy. Honestly we wore it was great we loved it and so did everyone else. We won the most original costumes award. This is a great costume to have. The best part being we looked great !!!!!!!!!"

Why did I have to read that, now all my prayers MUST be focused on NEVER winding up at a party where "most original" = mass-produced nut sacks. Unless.... the judges were being ironic, and everyone was in on it except the nut sacks.

I would like that party.
posted by secondhand at 1:33 PM on October 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

*Finally,* the solution to that puzzling AskMeFi "taters" reference.
posted by Morrigan at 4:19 PM on October 31, 2009 [2 favorites]

For the Li'l Soldier Toddler (!) costume:

Zackula: Enjoy this costume while it lasts. Pretty soon they'll only be selling drone costumes for your kids.

Brilliant.
posted by RakDaddy at 6:35 PM on October 31, 2009

"Pig was lookin' at me funny so I jumped through its asshole."
posted by rifflesby at 7:43 PM on October 31, 2009 [1 favorite]

I, um, wore this one for halloween once.

turns away
posted by davejay at 11:25 PM on October 31, 2009

Fashion Swat has never, will never and can never top Yellowjacket Greenapple PI.

That is all.
posted by Grimgrin at 12:24 AM on November 1, 2009 [5 favorites]

Oh, now, you can't link Yellowjacket Greenapple, PI without including the followup links.
posted by rifflesby at 1:41 AM on November 1, 2009 [3 favorites]

One of the other "costume don't" lists I saw in the past few days had an aging Hooters waitress costume with fake boobs that dangled down. At the party I was at, somebody actually showed up as this & spent much of the night wandering around fondling himself. Very disturbing.
posted by scalefree at 7:57 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

If you really want to waste time at work, check out Thorpe's "Perhaps some Animes are in order," wherein he treks to an anime convention and looks uncomfortable the whole time. Same exact sense of humor with a smidge more compassion.

Perhaps Some Animes Are in Order?
posted by wires at 5:19 AM on November 3, 2009