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Fuckin' Bonfire.
November 1, 2009 1:40 PM   Subscribe

Suzi Barett made a video to dissuade her actor friend OT from moving to Los Angeles. Very NSFW language

"I moved to L.A. from Amsterdam after working at Boom Chicago. It's Boom tradition that every departing actor is given a roast... this is the roast video I mailed in last week for my friend OT. Enjoy! -- suzi barrett."
posted by lazaruslong (51 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
It probably won't be a widely shared opinion but I thought it was great.

"Laugh it up, wall!"
posted by Countess Elena at 1:44 PM on November 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Haven't I seen this here before?
posted by cherryflute at 1:46 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Fuckin' banking in english"
posted by The Whelk at 1:47 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


The dialogue at my house:

"What are you watching?"
A video some girl made about hating L.A.
"Are you watching it on fast-forward?"
No.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:49 PM on November 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


Also, although I generally find curse words funny, "faggot" is an exception. The word "fuck" 15 times? Hilaaaarious. The word "faggot" 15 times? No.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:53 PM on November 1, 2009 [17 favorites]


That was actually kinda clever. She's right; people bitch about L.A. for the dumbest reasons. My favorite was "fucking opportunity!"
posted by Bookhouse at 1:58 PM on November 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


Definitely saw this before, maybe in a comment though, or maybe not here at all.

And to anyone not getting it- it is, as Bookhouse says, a satire of the brainless, never-ending complaints people make about L.A.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:15 PM on November 1, 2009


FYI: Boom Chicago is an Amsterdam based improv company feature expat-American improvisers. It has been extremely successful and many of its members have returned to the U.S. to find a moderate degree of success in show-business.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:39 PM on November 1, 2009


"Smells like an herb garden took a dump!"

This is hilarious!
posted by Hildegarde at 2:41 PM on November 1, 2009


It makes me thankful I'm not there - really. LA scares me.
Her intonations are quite clever.
posted by niccolo at 2:44 PM on November 1, 2009


Fuckin' funny posts on Metafilter...
posted by ShawnStruck at 2:48 PM on November 1, 2009


Fuckin' Faved!
posted by R. Mutt at 2:57 PM on November 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


This reminds me A LOT of Drinking Out of Cups. Just saying.
posted by Bageena at 3:09 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


About 1/25th of a second's worth of amusement. A fleeting shadow of an inward smile. I want to say it was way, way, way, too long for the tiny, tiny charge it gave, but then I realized that you really couldn't make it any shorter and still get the idea across. So I concluded that the idea is just too tiny for any length of time. Which means it's perfect for a pitch. Maybe they can make it into a TV show. That will go into syndication. Which we'll watch in reruns for the next 54 years. And it all started here, in LA. Fucking opportunity, bitch, weather, whore, entertainment industry goddamn place you move to so you can pitch some shitty unfunny very successful will make you rich but you'll remain poor kind of a place.
posted by VikingSword at 3:32 PM on November 1, 2009


I love the Boom Chicago people (and have had the pleasure of working with them a long while back), and that girl just made me wanna pack up on move to L.A. "It smells like an herb garden took a dump" got me.
posted by dabitch at 3:53 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


>: Also, although I generally find curse words funny, "faggot" is an exception. The word "fuck" 15 times? Hilaaaarious. The word "faggot" 15 times? No.

Oh come on, lighten up.

this is coming from someone who has regularly been called "faggot" by super-macho bro dudes.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:02 PM on November 1, 2009


I loved this exactly as much as I expected to hate it. Thanks, Bookhouse/drjimmy, for letting me know this wasn't just more LA-trash talk. I likes my city.
posted by hifiparasol at 4:13 PM on November 1, 2009


Oh come on, lighten up.

I'm not uptight, it just isn't funny to me. The video was funny for me until she started saying faggot, faggot, faggot. It's probably one of those social context things- I don't hang out with people who call each other faggot for fun.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:58 PM on November 1, 2009 [4 favorites]


I've seen this girl tell the best story ever about smuggling a small bag of pot into the US from Amsterdam.
posted by dogwalker at 4:58 PM on November 1, 2009


I lived in L.A. for five years in the mid-to-late 80s and what I hated about it was what a lot of (differently stuck-up) Nor-Cal'ers hate about it which it is a land that's plastic-imbued, money-obsessed, conspicuously consuming, bleached blonde, visibly racist, fame-chasing, ecologically unbalanced, and star adulating.

This video made me think that L.A. could be an all-right place to be, all things considered, but who are we really kidding?

L.A. fucking sucks.
posted by mistersquid at 5:04 PM on November 1, 2009


I regret deeply the sloppy cut-and-edits I've been lately committed to posterity on MetaFilter and promise to pay more careful attention from here on out now on.
posted by mistersquid at 5:08 PM on November 1, 2009


TPS: You know, I don't usually find it that funny either. With most things that are offensive, and maybe I am a bad person or alone in this, I tend to wait for some sign of personal credibility before I feel like I am allowed to laugh. For example, Sarah Silverman's rant about Hitler not doing enough; I know she's Jewish, so somehow her making fun of a terrible subject is "okay".

The first time I watched this video, I was laughing really hard. When the use of the word faggot came, I paused. It wasn't until the "..fucking naked lesbians" bit that I felt like it was "okay" for me to laugh at the overuse and comically extended choice of the word faggot. I suppose in my brain, the fact that she was hanging out with lesbians and was obviously cool with gay folks made me accept her use of the word as comical and satirical.

Also, saying "faggot liberal media" also clued me in to the satirical connotation.

That's not to say that I think you finding no humor in the word is weird or wrong or anything, I guess that's just where I am coming from.

I'm sure there must be a term for this in standup comedy, right? Saying terrible things with some other element that gives the audience tacit "permission" to laugh at something they would otherwise decry. I don't know what that would be called though.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:11 PM on November 1, 2009


Wow, double reverse truthiness. I would never leave Amsterdam to go to LA unless I felt like ruing it for the rest of my life.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 5:16 PM on November 1, 2009


I don't get it. Most of the shit she listed can be found in many other places that aren't soul-less, plasticine and smog-clogged. Plants? Bonfires? Unique fast food joints? Come on.
posted by meadowlark lime at 5:31 PM on November 1, 2009


"Crossroads of the world MY DICK."

I can't tell you how many times heard that when I lived in LA.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:36 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, although I generally find curse words funny, "faggot" is an exception. The word "fuck" 15 times? Hilaaaarious. The word "faggot" 15 times? No.

Oh come on, lighten up.


Well, it was what got me too. People love to hate LA, even the people who know it well and love it too. So with that, I thought of putting the video on my LA site up until the word "faggot" came into the picture... but now I definitely can't.

I can explain away the "Fucks" but I can't put a video on the site that says "Faggot" fifteen times. It's not about being uptight, it's about being aware of the power that word has to hurt some people and the lack of sensitivity other people have about that power. There is absolutely no way *someone* wouldn't be offended or hurt by its flippant use. It's not cool.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:39 PM on November 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


I originally saw this video posted by Dave White, a gay Los Angeles author of a book called Exile in Guyville: How a Punk Rock Redneck Faggot Texan Moved to West Hollywood and Refused to Be Shiny and Happy. Dave's clearly one of those gay men who's reclaimed the word "faggot" and has a lot of fun poking at LA. In that context, I found the video freaking hilarious. I can see how, without that context (ie, of a gay LA resident giving it his stamp of approval) the language could be a bit alarming.
posted by arielmeadow at 5:44 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


BTW... otherwise the video cracked me up. I have my share of days like that too. Today for example. Fucking pool being drained because it has a crack in it. Fucking squirrels knocking oranges off the trees into my yard. Fucking hole in the roof of my convertible. Fucking swine flu cold keeping me in my apartment when I should be out drinking margaritas and eating tamales with friends. Yeah, LA totally sucks. It's a fucking nightmare.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:45 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I don't get it. Most of the shit she listed can be found in many other places that aren't soul-less, plasticine and smog-clogged. Plants? Bonfires? Unique fast food joints? Come on.

That's the point. Most aspects of daily living here don't necessarily have anything to do with negative blanket stereotypes you see on tv. Normal life exists here just like anywhere else. Plants. Fast food joints. Hanging out with friends at bonfires. Blah blah. Many of us go weeks and months without driving on a freeway or conversing with anyone particularly soul-less. Sorry to disappoint you.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:51 PM on November 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


Do not be fooled by this reverse propaganda - LA is a terrible irredeemable place! A bleeding nightmare hellhole! Plastic! Freeway! Shallow! PLASTIC!!!

For the love all that is good and wholesome, please tell all your self-righteous hipster friends to stay far far away.
posted by zota at 6:00 PM on November 1, 2009


I watched long enough to figure out that I really don't care what she thinks about LA. Just a few seconds in, I hit the back button.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 6:10 PM on November 1, 2009


This is one of those textbook examples of why repetition can be so gawdam funny when it's done well. I'm reminded of Cleese once saying he couldn't figure out why some of the python sketches were so loved when they were just lists read in a funny voice.

Love it. Still hate LA.
posted by lumpenprole at 6:24 PM on November 1, 2009


Well, NYC is a fucking shithole.


So there.
posted by hifiparasol at 6:33 PM on November 1, 2009


The funny of "Where's my poop?" can only be fully grasped by someone who has been/lived in Amsterdam.
posted by dabitch at 6:34 PM on November 1, 2009


Good Point Dabitch, This is not, as much as you hometown chauvinists might like to see it as, any comparison between LA and NYC or Chicago or any other relevant (see, baiting the rest of the country there) US city. This is about LA vs. Amsterdam...
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:58 PM on November 1, 2009


LA >>> Amsterdam!
posted by Justinian at 7:08 PM on November 1, 2009


Also, although I generally find curse words funny, "faggot" is an exception. The word "fuck" 15 times? Hilaaaarious. The word "faggot" 15 times? No.

I hope this got faved like 150 times.
posted by humannaire at 7:17 PM on November 1, 2009


Many of us go weeks and months without ... conversing with anyone

That's one of the things I really hated about LA.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 7:20 PM on November 1, 2009


Also, although I generally find curse words funny, "faggot" is an exception. The word "fuck" 15 times? Hilaaaarious. The word "faggot" 15 times? No.

I hope this got faved like 150 times.


Yeah. I'm as irreverent as they come, but this harshes my mellow. It's not that funny when the insults are against a minority that's been demonized perhaps more than any other, and a minority that is fighting for their basic civil rights as we speak. Yep, I could've done without the "faggot".
posted by VikingSword at 7:23 PM on November 1, 2009


Ugh, I don't want to go to the beach again!
posted by banannafish at 7:34 PM on November 1, 2009


I thought Los Angeles was where the OT's hung out, already.
posted by blenderfish at 7:40 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, NYC is a fucking shithole.

As a California native who moved here three years ago, you're absolutely fucking right. This motherfucking metropolis, in which mothers are fucked and fuckers are mothered, boasts fucking diners with eclectic menus at 3:30 AM, motherfucking buskers in the subways, fucking obscure movies for the art faggots, a fucking bullshit art scene in which bullshit artists are actually taken fucking seriously, fucking Broadway and fucking Off-Broadway and fucking Off-Off-Broadway, fucking Coney Island (well, what's fucking left of it), fucking Mermaid Parades and Halloween Parades, fucking writers in Brooklyn, fucking statues, fucking museums, fucking libraries, fucking guys who run for mayor on the "Rent is Too Damn High" ticket, fucking trannies offering their fucking services (literally and figuratively) off Christopher Street, fucking people who will fucking help you find a street or a place if you fucking ask, fucking crazy French tourists who ask you to take your fucking picture, fucking Central Park and Prospect Fucking Park, fucking bridges, fucking drug dealers and fucking small-time mobsters who brazenly offer their fucking services, fucking corrupt politicians who fuck things up, fucking baseball teams, fucking free alt-weeklies, fucking pink newspapers, fucking magazines, fucking publishers who publish bullshit fucking books and shit, fucking radio stations and fucking symphonies and fucking operas and fucking choirs and fucking ballets and Carnegie Fucking Hall, those giant fucking hero sandwiches which will fuck your fucking stomach up, fucking subways that run 24/7 into all sorts of fucking crazy neighborhoods (who the fuck wants to travel like that?), fucking activists protesting the rapacious real estate developing cunts with fucking giant mice mascots -- to name just some of the bullshit in this infernal motherfucking piehole of a city that has come to mind in the two minutes I have typed -- bears no fucking redeeming value whatsoever.
posted by ed at 7:51 PM on November 1, 2009 [16 favorites]


Yes. Thank you.
posted by hifiparasol at 7:56 PM on November 1, 2009


Most of the shit she listed can be found in many other places that aren't soul-less, plasticine and smog-clogged.

When I read these kind of comments, I assume you've never been to L.A.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:17 PM on November 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


Many of us go weeks and months without driving on a freeway

This is when I knew you were lying.
posted by meadowlark lime at 10:30 PM on November 1, 2009


While the "census" suggests that there are as many public transit dependent people in LA as there are people in the entire city of Seattle, you must not believe the lies! There are no buses or trains here! In fact there is no infrastructure of any kind! Actually there's not even any architecture here -- it's all just random piles of dirt and plastic! Also, there is no oxygen! Do you hear me? There is no oxygen in LA!!

I beg you. Please tell everyone in Brooklyn -- especially if they're in a band, are interested in "producing" or if they do any kind of multimedia collage -- stay the hell away from the apocalyptic wasteland of Los Angeles!!!
posted by zota at 12:06 AM on November 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


This is when I knew you were lying.

Many years ago, I did in fact live in LA with no personal transportation other than a bicycle. For 10 months. True story.

But even then, I'm pretty sure I was riding in someone else's car on the freeway a minimum of once a week. Technically, I suppose I went months without driving on a freeway myself, but getting away without using the freeways at all seems like a stretch to me. Maybe there's secrets to planning your life so that the buses, trains, and good ol' walking are convenient enough, though.
posted by weston at 12:31 AM on November 2, 2009


That was funny and nice, not sure that it shouldn't have stayed private though.
She film that with her iPhone? Fucking iPhones.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:06 AM on November 2, 2009


A bit over the top, but intended. At no point did I find myself laughing, though I did smirk a few times.
The "faggot" could have been used less to better effect, but didn't bother me so much as it did annoy.
Who is this woman? Comedian? Actress? Name if you know it so I can look up other work.
posted by a3matrix at 7:10 AM on November 2, 2009


Who is this woman? Comedian? Actress? Name if you know it so I can look up other work.

These are the words you clicked on to view the video: "Suzi Barett made a video to dissuade her actor friend OT from moving to Los Angeles."
posted by letourneau at 10:27 AM on November 2, 2009


getting away without using the freeways at all seems like a stretch to me.

I learned that quite often, the freeways were the slowest way to get around. I recall driving from Long Beach to Hollywood on the surface streets, a week or so after I got to LA. The streets were nearly empty, but every time I passed the freeway, it was a parking lot.

That may have changed with all of the alternative routing tools available now...

One of the weird things I learned about driving in LA was that sometimes, a bicycle was faster. I worked about five miles from my apartment, and when my car was towed away, I had to ride my bicycle to work. I was astounded to find that it took less time, partly because there were shorter routes that were open to a bicycle, partly because I didn't have to mess with traffic, and partly because I didn't have to deal with all the BS of parking. Of course, when I had to ride the 12 miles into downtown to deal with home office paperwork, that was a little different matter.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 10:44 AM on November 2, 2009


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