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Cattle mutilation
November 3, 2009 5:26 AM   Subscribe

A long-standing element of ufo/paranormal conspiracy theory, cattle mutilation has been reported in the United States for several decades. Here's some FOIA documents relating to the FBI's investigation (and discussions of whether they had jurisdiction to investigate) from the 1970's. All links are PDFs: cattle1.pdf, cattle2.pdf. cattle3.pdf, cattle4.pdf,cattle5.pdf.
posted by rmd1023 (30 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Hooray, hundreds of pages of crappily scanned typewritten pages!
posted by Plutor at 5:42 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


The "natural causes" section of the Wikipedia entry covers what's actually going on. (Also, curse you for posting this before I got my post on the topic together.)
posted by crataegus at 5:48 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did somebody say Cattle Decapitation?
posted by saladin at 5:55 AM on November 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


You mean outside of slaughterhouses?
posted by dortmunder at 6:00 AM on November 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


Haz cheezburger?
posted by zerobyproxy at 6:07 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


(Anal coring?)
posted by chasing at 6:13 AM on November 3, 2009


UFO researcher Phillip S Duke...also speculates that mutilations of the ear are the result of aliens removing tracking implants.

And while they were here, the aliens took Mr. Duke's brain.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:19 AM on November 3, 2009 [3 favorites]


You have to love a Wikipedia article where the explanation involving masked cultists drinking blood and eating fetuses falls under the heading "Conventional explanations"
posted by Copronymus at 6:29 AM on November 3, 2009 [15 favorites]


If Dr Philip S. Duke did not already exist, we would have to invent him as a cross between Phillip K. Dick and Hunter S. Thompson, AKA Raoul Duke.
posted by Dr Dracator at 6:32 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


Conventional explanations

LADY GAGA NEEDS MEAT!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:35 AM on November 3, 2009 [2 favorites]


Haven't you ever wanted a Chateaubriand but couldn't afford it?
posted by infinitewindow at 6:39 AM on November 3, 2009


The aliens couldn't take one more reading of Moo Baa La La La
posted by stormpooper at 6:55 AM on November 3, 2009 [2 favorites]


15 years ago I lived in Northern New Mexico - worked for a lawyer who was hired by ranchers to investigate ongoing cattle mutilations.

We performed necropsies, crime scene investigations, multiple interviews etc.

My favorite part of the whole experience was when Cattle Mutilation 'Expert' and ex-FBI agent, J__________, came into our office to explain the mutilations.

It was "satonists" he exclaimed. He had proof, he had looked into their dealings, he knew where they were. Their strange dark rituals centered around a small, cinderblock house on the edge of the Rio Grande Gorge. Isolated, with no one else around for miles, these 'satonists' performed their insidious rites.

Of course, that was my house.

Rented for $400 bucks a month on the edge of one of America's highest bridges it was isolated; but there was not 'satonist' dealings there, (at least while i was around). Never did have the heart to tell J__________ that he was misguided.
posted by jettloe at 7:08 AM on November 3, 2009 [13 favorites]


Metafilter: masked cultists drinking blood and eating fetuses falls under the heading "Conventional explanations"
posted by jepler at 7:11 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


The "natural causes" section of the Wikipedia entry covers what's actually going on

Science!
posted by KokuRyu at 7:15 AM on November 3, 2009


Oooh, FBI got to read Oui magazine. It's the xxx files...
posted by chavenet at 7:17 AM on November 3, 2009


I remember cattle mutilation was a big conspiracy topic in the 1990s, and somehow black helicopters got thrown into the mix. This was at the same time that the Montana Freemen were battling the Federal government, and David Koresh and the Branch Davidians were getting ready for their final showdown.

It's interesting how paranormal beliefs always get mixed up in right-wing lunacy.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:21 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


oh my god

the cows are doing it to themselves

and they've never looked happier
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:06 AM on November 3, 2009


It's interesting how paranormal beliefs always get mixed up in right-wing lunacy.

People fear the great unknown; the Government is a great unknown; people fear the government. Big Brother, mysterious military/science experiments, and conspiracy theories of extra-terrestrial sorts all go together, like Vegemite and cheese.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:10 AM on November 3, 2009


It is also a wicked submission hold.
posted by milquetoast at 8:15 AM on November 3, 2009


Oooh, FBI got to read Oui magazine. It's the xxx files...

I was thinking of the first chapter of The Illuminatus! Trilogy but that works too.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:29 AM on November 3, 2009


It's interesting how paranormal beliefs always get mixed up in right-wing lunacy.

Yea, them darn right wing fortune tellers at the Ren Fair. And the wicca's with their prosperity spells, along with the 'death to my enemies' and 'money blessing' candles.
posted by rough ashlar at 8:46 AM on November 3, 2009


It's interesting how paranormal beliefs always get mixed up in right-wing lunacy.

ashlar: I think he's talking about Black Helicopter Republicans.
posted by clarknova at 8:57 AM on November 3, 2009


Black Helicopter Republicans.

Huh. In one of my classes about running UNIX boxes, the gal who hated Bush II with the burning passion of many suns used to tell me about the black copters that hovered about her home.

Perhaps she was hanging out with the wrong Republicans?
posted by rough ashlar at 9:19 AM on November 3, 2009


15 years ago I lived in Northern New Mexico - worked for a lawyer who was hired by ranchers to investigate ongoing cattle mutilations....

Talk about...now read on!!

(Comments like this one from jettloe are exactly why I joined metafilter.)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 9:30 AM on November 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


I know my grandfather was an FBI agent in Idaho during the 70s and was called in to investigate some cattle mutilation. I don't know too much else about it other than he generally thought it was a waste of time, but I'll be seeing him in a few weeks. Maybe after we carve up the Thanksgiving turkey, I can ask him about some dead cows from 30 years ago...

Also, [insert snark about FBI investigating mutilated cows, but not American led torture].
posted by fontophilic at 9:51 AM on November 3, 2009



Did somebody say Cattle Decapitation ?


No, no, no, he said cattle mutilation. S'different.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:52 AM on November 3, 2009


What I find disturbing is how disconnected some folks can be from what is apparently their livelihood. Psychos cutting up cows, or even aliens, are more comprehensible to me than a rancher or livestock owner that doesn't know what predation and carrion feeders can do to an animal.
That's the weird thing. If we're to believe that the 'conventional explanation' death by natural causes is accurate (and it seems more plausible than any other explanation), then we're to believe that certain farmers and agricultural workers (enough of them to call in the FBI) don't know that blood pools, dehydration shrinks skin and organs, that gas from decomposition bloats and cracks skin, etc.
That or they're b.s.ing, want attention, playing along, etc.
Which is even more disturbing, because wow some people have a lot of time on their hands.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:06 PM on November 3, 2009


i'm sad...
opened this thinking it was about capital mutilation and was terribly excited.

darn.
posted by artof.mulata at 3:19 PM on November 3, 2009


new cattle mutilation story; note how the AP just lets ufonut rattle on...
posted by chavenet at 3:25 PM on November 26, 2009


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