June 27, 2001

9:42 AM

Do I make you h*rny, baby? [censored]This is far from new, but I just stumbled on this hilarious review of the Austin Powers sequel written by ChildCare Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture (CAP). I don't post this to bash Christians or to inspire a bazillion comments about religion or censorship. I just thought CAP's outrage over an essentially harmless film was fun to read.
posted by Karl (18 comments total)

I ran across this site awhile ago, and love to point out the review for the South Park movie. I hadn't seen it up until I read that review, and after I read it, I *HAD* to see it.
posted by robbie01 at 9:49 AM on June 27, 2001

I didn't see the second Austin Powers movie, but after reading their review of the movie, I suddenly feel slightly warm.....
posted by Raymond Marble at 9:52 AM on June 27, 2001

One more quick one -- Dr. Evil sensually sucked his little finger.

Oh my. The writer seemed to get really worked up...hope they took a cold shower after finishing the article. CAP ratings and reviews are always a good read. I suggest the two partial reviews of Dogma.
posted by th3ph17 at 9:53 AM on June 27, 2001

I remember seeing that site a ways back. Those people are nutty; I remember finding that someone estimated the amount of coverage afforded by a bathing suit (45% if I remember correctly). The site is real depressing to me though...
posted by tallman at 9:58 AM on June 27, 2001

Be sure to check out Movies That Will Piss Off The CAPAlert Guy at The Brunching Shuttlecocks.
posted by turaho at 10:06 AM on June 27, 2001

Punk dress and adult underwear are two of the things that CAP warns about in Austin Powers, The Spy who ------- Me. I can almost see the point about the "punk dress" though if I recall correctly, they're probably talking about Scott Evil's leather jacket, which seems rather benign. But I'm curious as to why "adult underwear" is so terrible. Shouldn't adults wear underwear?
posted by Dreama at 10:14 AM on June 27, 2001

i don't.
posted by tolkhan at 10:31 AM on June 27, 2001

I'd forgotten about this site -- their whole reviewing system, in which they arrive at a quantification of the anti-Xtian content of a given film, is the work of true dedication to irrationality.

But what's going on with the links on the Austin Powers page in question? All of the startext.net addresses resolve back to this web news site. It's not really pertinent, I suppose...but still piques curiosity.
posted by BT at 10:45 AM on June 27, 2001

I have found Capalert to be a pretty good contra-indicator of movies I would like. Plus it's utterly hilarious to read; the author is so full of himself.

I once carried on an email conversation with the guy asking him, in all religious earnestness, what the "foulest of the foul" words was, so that I may avoid it in my daily life. It was quite entertaining.

If anyone, for any reason, is looking for a more rational Christian movie review site, I've heard good things about this one. Me, I tend to rely on Rotten Tomatoes, with Mr. Cranky and the Filthy Critic for entertainment value...
posted by jammer at 10:56 AM on June 27, 2001

Well -- ? What was it?
posted by webmutant at 11:01 AM on June 27, 2001

He wouldn't tell me. He said that by doing so he would be forming the image in my mind, and would therefore be sinning. I asked if he didn't think the Lord would forgive him this one time, if it meant he would save me, and he flat out refused to tell me.

Some brotherly love, I tell you!
posted by jammer at 11:21 AM on June 27, 2001

(But I'm 99.9% certain it's "fuck"... it's the only one he doesn't refer to some other way)
posted by jammer at 11:21 AM on June 27, 2001

Wow, what a great find... the "scoring" section is a hoot. "stroking, licking, sucking chess pieces as though they were genitalia and breasts,suggestive eye movement,pelvic thrusts"... Joe Bob says check it out!
posted by apollo at 12:10 PM on June 27, 2001

Heh. What a nut. The 2 most dangerous films according to CAPAlert?

Blair Witch 2 and American Psycho.

Weirdo.
posted by starvingartist at 1:28 PM on June 27, 2001

it says that His name is used to rhyme with "Testicles", i cant think of any rhyme for His name that rhymes with testicles or any slang term... help?
posted by mantid at 1:29 PM on June 27, 2001

"Schmesticles."
posted by rodii at 2:05 PM on June 27, 2001

[shudder] It seems You've Got Mail garnered rave reviews. Figures.
posted by Karl at 2:28 PM on June 27, 2001

Don't forget that going to see The Animal (just curious: did anyone?) means you're being indoctrinated by Hollywood's secret agenda to test social acceptance of bestiality on the way to legalizing pedophilia. (Despite the skeptical jeers, this article was posted five times at FR in three days.)
posted by dhartung at 4:54 PM on June 27, 2001