Shh... Don't Tell Steve

November 5, 2009 11:51 AM

A lot of us have had bad roommates. One man has taken it upon himself to chronicle the buffoonery of his meathead roommate, Steve, via Twitter.

You can read about the loves of Steve's life, Slutty Tina and Burrito Girl. You can also get updates as to Steve's academic progress (or lack thereof). Finally, there is Steve's love of MMA, parties and drinking, and the bad decisions they cause him to make and not regret.

Some choice tidbits:

"Steve's Dad called to tell him that he can't use the emergency credit card to buy stuff from our Liquor Store or to buy Paintball supplies."

"Steve's job for party tomorrow was drinks. Asked him why he didn't get mixers. "That'll be our THING. No Mixers!" Now I gotta go buy mixers"

"Steve is sick. He keeps making jokes that he has swine flu and is purposely sneezing without covering his mouth. It's not funny."

It's a fascinating look at the life of a total ass. Steve's roommate has somehow built a large following on Twitter, but Steve apparently doesn't know about it.

posted by reenum (80 comments total)

And of course we can be sure that that this faultless guy isn't going to be doing anything to goad Steve into doing even more Wacky Antix just because he can tweet about it.
posted by dunkadunc at 11:54 AM on November 5 [1 favorite]

Wonder if it's real. The dude does sound like a dick, and there are certainly no shortages of those around.
posted by chunking express at 11:56 AM on November 5

I'm not sure if it's real, but I enjoy reading it nonetheless.
posted by reenum at 11:57 AM on November 5

Steve is going to find out and think its hilarious and act even dumber. Can't wait.
posted by aacheson at 12:00 PM on November 5

How do you get to the first post without clicking More... repeatedly? I've never been on twitter.
posted by doublehappy at 12:01 PM on November 5

Oh, dear. Steve will find out about this.

I mean, I can appreciate the idea of venting about an idiot you come into regular contact with -- I did that with a former work colleague.

But you do NOT put that section in a place where the object of your mockery can find it by accident. My tales of my idiot co-worker were in a restricted-access section of my blog and I used a pseudonym and didn't even tell people the name of where I worked, and only 20 people could see it and I KNEW none of them knew her. Otherwise...just no. People find crap out.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:01 PM on November 5

Wow, he's spent a lot of time obsessing about his roommate. This is so passive aggressive and sad.
posted by stavrogin at 12:01 PM on November 5 [8 favorites]

One of the few things as irritating as sharing a living space with someone you don't like or get along with is hearing (or reading) someone else bitching about sharing a living space with someone they don't like or get along with.

Especially when it mostly sounds made up.
posted by dersins at 12:02 PM on November 5

This sucks and is a stupid trend. I don't hate Twitter and use it myself occasionally, but this is crap.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:03 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

Viral ad for the next Seth Rogen movie.
posted by jbickers at 12:04 PM on November 5 [4 favorites]

Wow, he's spent a lot of time obsessing about his roommate. This is so passive aggressive and sad.

I couldn't disagree more; these are fantastic. And far from obsessing, he's just taking little notes, largely judgement-free, on someone he lives with. This is one of the best uses of Twitter I've seen, I think.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:05 PM on November 5 [5 favorites]

My god, I hate Twitter.

And that's not a commentary on this post. I'm actually grateful for it. See, everytime another Twitter post comes along, I think "Okay, this is the one that's going to make me GET it. This is the one that's going to be as funny/enlightening/poignant as all these other people seem to think it is. This is the one that isn't going to seem like some bored hipster in a cubicle is trying to make his temporary mark on the world and so is coming up with a laboriously 'clever' form of entertainment disguised as real life. Finally, today is my day!"

And then, nope, it doesn't ring my bell. At least, not my good bell. But it rings my bad bell very, very hard.

I'm relieved, actually, to find that I still hate it. And I'm grateful, in a way, for Twitter's ubiquity, because it's giving me a chance to constantly check to see if my bad bell needs recalibrating.

My god, I hate Twitter.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:05 PM on November 5 [3 favorites]

Thanks for letting us know you hate Twitter. Truly you are too cool for school.
posted by chunking express at 12:07 PM on November 5 [20 favorites]

Hating Twitter is missing the point. Hate the people who use it like a journal or blog. It's good for giving quick updates from events, though.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:07 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

I couldn't disagree more; these are fantastic. And far from obsessing, he's just taking little notes, largely judgement-free, on someone he lives with. This is one of the best uses of Twitter I've seen, I think.

So... how is it different than if Steve were tweeting all of the minutiae of his life? And would it still be interesting if it was?
posted by stavrogin at 12:07 PM on November 5

He makes three posts an hour about his awful roommate. Dude, just make out with him and get it over with.

Oh, and tweetpic it, please!
posted by munchingzombie at 12:10 PM on November 5 [3 favorites]

love of MMA

...and ed hardy, and tribal tattoos, etc. Douchebag. Douchebag. Douchebag.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 12:13 PM on November 5

I'm with Greg Nog; if it's not made up, and I've known people who were this bad and worse, this is a pretty great chronicle of a guy who not-at-all self-aware. The only bits of editorializing I've seen so far were attributed to other people. Even if it's partially or entirely made up, it's not bad as writing exercises go.
posted by Caduceus at 12:14 PM on November 5

I hate RGB. Fuck you, red, green, and blue.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:17 PM on November 5

love of MMA

Man-man action?

After reading through some of this, it seems this guy is actually being pretty objective.

So... how is it different than if Steve were tweeting all of the minutiae of his life?

I don't think bro dudes like Steve think any of their behavior is boorish or even out of the ordinary. When it's being tweeted by this dimwit's poor housemate, it's comedy gold.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:21 PM on November 5

Your favorite web application sucks!
posted by mecran01 at 12:22 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

Man-man action?

Pretty much, yeah.
posted by Rangeboy at 12:24 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

I dunno. I find it kind of dull. It lacks the wit of shitmydadsays which is the obvious benchmark. Plus I just wonder if it's really about venting or just angling for a book deal.
posted by rhymer at 12:24 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

Pics of Slutty Tina or it didn't happen
posted by davejay at 12:26 PM on November 5

Steve Txt from class "euro history boring girls n short shorts r awesome"

Well duh.

Honestly, this dude doesn't seem so bad. I mean, not somebody I'd want to live with, but he's just some college guy who likes to party and eat fast food. I mean, oh my god, eating Eggos in his boxers... in his own home? Say it ain't so.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:27 PM on November 5 [3 favorites]

So... how is it different than if Steve were tweeting all of the minutiae of his life? And would it still be interesting if it was?

I think it would be different largely because you'd get a view of Steve in which the minutiae are not actually twittered; the day-to-day triumphs and tragedies would be, and with a lot more emotional weight given to each tweet.

I like this so much more because there's a one-level remove that, through its lack of affect, displays the ultimate inconsequentiality of the events twittered about. It's sort of sweet, this observational style -- it speaks of the events we (here: Steve) turn into Events. I think Steve is lacking in self-awareness only in the way that everyone is when they're candidly going about their lives, and I find the roommate's recording of him to be sort of beautiful, like a haiku written about a leaf; we see leaves every day, and they (here: Steve) aren't anything too rare. But the point of the poem (here: Twitter account) is to draw attention to the beauty (here: hilarity) of the oft-ignored object.

I guess I'm alone here in thinking that this account isn't based on mockery or mean-spiritedness, but on a simple desire to catalogue what's amusing about other humans. To a degree, I suppose you could say that taking such a clinical approach to a person is sort of inhumane, but my general feeling about that is that we're a big species, we can take it.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:27 PM on November 5 [6 favorites]

I dunno. I find it kind of dull.

Word.

Honestly, this dude doesn't seem so bad.

Again: Word.

I love this.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:28 PM on November 5

get it on! in this case like marvin gaye, and not like mills lane.
posted by the aloha at 12:28 PM on November 5

I love it. It's like a zoocam for a dudebro.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:29 PM on November 5 [3 favorites]

I can tell its fake from some of the tweets, and from seeing quite a few twits in my time.
posted by lazaruslong at 12:33 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

MMA is Mixed Martial Arts. In other words, two dudes fighting in a ring, sometimes grappling and complex maneuvers, other times just repeatedly punching each-other in the face.

The fun/tragic thing about people who are oblivious to mockery like Steve might be is that you could tell them a story about their life, maybe even from that day, and the other person might even chortle at that dumbshit.

Then again, room-mate of Steve might get beaten severely. Either way, a bit too much of reliving college dorms for me. I'll stick with Half-Pint Ingalls. Who doesn't think Mary Todd Lincoln outfits in the stores are too slutty? And grasshopper plagues are funny.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:34 PM on November 5

Greg Nog, I like your interpretation of the feed much more than the feed.
posted by stavrogin at 12:38 PM on November 5

Steve and Tony are really high. They’re talking about what Chewbacca would look like if he were totally shaved.

This is actually a good question. Would he look like a man? An ape? A man with a dog face? A giant, bipedal, hairless dog with that gross, wrinkly skin?
posted by uncleozzy at 12:40 PM on November 5 [8 favorites]

Steve loudly challenging people to a drinking contest. Nobody biting, so he's just doing shots and declaring himself the winner.


well, we've all been there.
posted by The Whelk at 12:43 PM on November 5 [4 favorites]

I'm interested in the nomenclature for this type of person. I see "bro dude" and "dudebro" in this thread; here in Boston I hear "yeah-dude" or "yah-dude" more often.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:51 PM on November 5

I'm in Boston (well, Cambridge) and I can't imagine calling this guy anything but a "dudebro."

A "yeahdude" is something else entirely.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:54 PM on November 5

Sheldon from Big Bang Theory gets a roommate. Slasher Flick at 11.

The roommate is a bit of an ass, but he doesn't seem that bad. Nthing shhdontellsteve being a bit of a passive aggressive twit.
posted by zarq at 12:55 PM on November 5

I'm in Boston (well, Cambridge) and I can't imagine calling this guy anything but a "dudebro."

I've always thought of these guys as "capholes."
posted by dersins at 12:57 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

Steve and Tony are really high. They’re talking about what Chewbacca would look like if he were totally shaved.

Prolly look something like this.
posted by ericb at 1:00 PM on November 5

shhdontellsteve: Steve and Tony are really high. They’re talking about what Chewbacca would look like if he were totally shaved.

uncleozzy: This is actually a good question. Would he look like a man? An ape? A man with a dog face? A giant, bipedal, hairless dog with that gross, wrinkly skin?

Well....

Weirdest merchandise based on character:

This costume that will make your child look like a tiny, partially-shaved Chewbacca.

posted by zarq at 1:02 PM on November 5

Steve and Tony are really high. They’re talking about what Chewbacca would look like if he were totally shaved.

This is actually a good question. Would he look like a man? An ape? A man with a dog face? A giant, bipedal, hairless dog with that gross, wrinkly skin?

i like to picture this looking somewhat like Barf from Spaceballs.
posted by ninjew at 1:03 PM on November 5

They’re talking about what Chewbacca would look like if he were totally shaved.

Is the fact that I find this subject interesting a sign that I've smoked a bit too much today?
posted by JayG at 1:03 PM on November 5

The real question isn't "what would the wookie look like?" its "how do you shave a wookie?"

Hint: Not easy.
posted by The Whelk at 1:07 PM on November 5

...Steve's roommate has somehow built a large following on Twitter.

5,000 isn't really that many people.

A damn cat has more than a million.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:07 PM on November 5

Is the fact that I find this subject interesting a sign that I've smoked a bit too much today

Perhaps, but I'm stone cold sober and found it interesting too.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:07 PM on November 5

dudebro

Funny, I've never heard this word before today. What's the difference between "dudebro" and "yeah dude"?
posted by backseatpilot at 1:10 PM on November 5

And then, nope, it doesn't ring my bell. At least, not my good bell. But it rings my bad bell very, very hard.

This will also ring a bell.
posted by phatkitten at 1:13 PM on November 5 [9 favorites]

A yeahdude is edgier than a dudebro. Yeahdudes usually have jobs and paid for at least part of their awesome ride themselves. Yeahdudes refer to their male friends as "kids" ("I love that kid. That kid is awesome.") and have been known to swing a fist on occasion.

A dudebro is soft and squishy and doesn't get into fights unless he's really drunk, in which case he flails like a toddler. Homo dudebronicus is distributed all across the US, with specially high concentrations in the warm places (the South and California); the yeahdude's natural habitat is the BosNeWash corridor.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:16 PM on November 5 [6 favorites]

A yeahdude is edgier than a dudebro. Yeahdudes usually have jobs and paid for at least part of their awesome ride themselves. Yeahdudes refer to their male friends as "kids" ("I love that kid. That kid is awesome.") and have been known to swing a fist on occasion.

Oh man, that is the perfect description of one of my brother's friends. He's an engineer at Boeing, and definitely calls all his male friends "that kid."
posted by Caduceus at 1:20 PM on November 5

I once lived in an apartment complex which (apart from my unit) was completely inhabited by bro dudes* like these and their girlfriends, who were "gina girls"**. It was a jungle of neverending club rap, broken bottles, holes punched in the hall walls, and drunken shouting.
And police visits. Lots.

*Your average bro dude wears university-branded sweatpants, flip-flops way out of season, a sweatshirt or tank top, one of those stupid outsized baseball caps with the label still on it, and is studying business. I'm from Maine, if that matters.
**Named thusly after some plastic-looking girls walked in when my friends were cooking fish and left in a huff going "eww! It smells like gina in here!"
posted by dunkadunc at 1:20 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

This will also ring a bell.

Ok, that is both incredibly stupid and really fucking funny at the same time.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:21 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

they also wear lots of Axe and for some strange reason have to scratch their balls all the time. I would never have throught that sweatpants made your balls itch like that, but there you go.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:23 PM on November 5

i may be a yeahdude. i call my male friends kid. i didn't know.
posted by Bookhouse at 1:32 PM on November 5

Oh, nice! It's like a "Great Gatsby" for the 21st century!
posted by taz at 1:33 PM on November 5 [3 favorites]

one of those stupid outsized baseball caps with the label still on it

Hence "capholes".
posted by dersins at 1:35 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

*highfives mudpuppie*

Man, I miss the days where people wrote more than one sentence at a time when bitching about their roommate. Entire paragraphs of scintillatingly bitter prose that I could read sequentially rather than backwards was awesome, back in the dark days of 2007 or 8 or so.

I'm sorry, but man, I don't get why one sentence at a time is the greatest thing on the planet now. I really don't.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:38 PM on November 5

they also wear lots of Axe and for some strange reason have to scratch their balls all the time. I would never have throught that sweatpants made your balls itch like that, but there you go.

Advantages of living in a bilingual country, no. 1 in a series of many: Axe shower gel is clearly labeled "pour douche".
posted by arto at 1:51 PM on November 5 [10 favorites]

Shit My Dad Says is this sort of thing done right. A lot funnier, more insightful, and doesn't make a fool of its subject.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 2:13 PM on November 5 [2 favorites]

My world was turned upside down when I discovered quite a few pornstars twitter. Now they show up in my feed along with Michael Ian Black, Whil Wheaton, and Steven Colbert.

Basically, I just use it as a joke-of-the-day service from my favorite celebrities.
posted by heathkit at 2:15 PM on November 5

Oh, and tweetpic it, please!

Is that like a picture limited to 140 pixels?
posted by notswedish at 2:25 PM on November 5

After a first read I went back and imagined it being written by that stern blonde woman from The Office (US version tm). It was much better that way.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 2:34 PM on November 5

Pretty much, yeah.

Aw, you missed the perfect chance to link to this.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:35 PM on November 5

Shit My Dad Said is pretty much the reverse dynamic, though. The Dad is smart and crass, and is upset that he has to keep his borderline good-for-nothing son around. It's funny, because you can tell that despite that, the Dad does love the son, and the son is able to see the humor in the Dad's abuse.

In this case, it's some backhanded remarks from a passive-aggressive roommate. It's not awful by any means. I just think the humor isn't too good to begin with, and I feel the roommate's getting punished for what he did in an unfair way. If you try to get revenge on your roommate, don't do it behind his back.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:57 PM on November 5

And then, nope, it doesn't ring my bell. At least, not my good bell. But it rings my bad bell very, very hard.

This will also ring a bell.
posted by phatkitten at 1:13 PM on November 5

Side splittingly funny, phatkitten. Oh, please favorite this comment, everyone.

And as for the post, I want to know where I can go to place my bet that the entire cast of characters in this twit's twitters are an (untwue ) invention.
posted by bearwife at 3:12 PM on November 5

Scuse me, is an invention.
posted by bearwife at 3:14 PM on November 5

You guys don't get it. This isn't about how hilariously awful Steve is. This is about the unfolding romantic drama between Steve and Burrito Girl and Slutty Tina. Just like the whole lonelygirl15 saga. I've gone down to the first posts and now I can't stop. So addictive.
posted by Hollow at 3:15 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

I roomed with someone kind of like this for a summer back in college; I complained about him playing his stereo extra-loud for hours (I think in part to cover up the sound of him and his girlfriend fucking) and he responded by suggesting a fistfight to resolve the conflict, so after that I just threw the circuit breaker (my room had the electrical panel for the house in it) for his room; he never figured it out.

Also:

Steve going as "The Hangover" Will carry a bottle of Jack, a stuffed Tiger and a fake baby strapped to his bare chest. It makes no sense.

...kind of makes Steve's roommate look kind of stupid; I hardly ever go to the movies any more, and even I got the reference.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:19 PM on November 5

This isn't about how hilariously awful Steve is. This is about the unfolding romantic drama between Steve and Burrito Girl and Slutty Tina. the twitterer.
posted by The Whelk at 3:23 PM on November 5

Yes, who else thinks that the twitterer is a big ol' closet case, and that Shelly is his beard?
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:36 PM on November 5

"promised no Steve talk."

"Steve changed his shirt 3 times for BBQ. I nixed the Ed Hardy shirt and the Jimmy Hendrix graphic T. Told him to go with the simple OP Polo."



"So, I've got a new roommate. His name is Steve. He's pretty ....brotastic."

VO: THIS WINTER

"Oh man, you've gotta hear this thing Steve said-"

"God, can we have one conversation without Steve. god it's like you're obsessed."

"I've just never met anyone like him. He's like an ...alien from planet Party."

VO: YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE YOUR ROOMMATE

"How's life With Steve."

"Very ....interesting." I've started to write down the stuff he says, You know, for fun."

"fun?"

VO: YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH

"Steve, do you really think this girl is right for you?"

"Whatever man, she's good enough for me."

VO: AND YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE WHO FALLS FOR YOU

"You know, if you bunkered down a little you could get better grades-"

"Man you're always hovering around, don't *you* have classes to work on?"

"I'm not trying to change you! I just think you could -....do better. You have a lot of potential."

(Shot of a girl on a couch in a Halloween costume)

GIRL: "What did you - put in my drink?"

"Sorry, I have to think about Steve's future and I don't think you're a very good influence."

GIRL: "I'm -calling the cops."

ROOMATE TAKES PHONE AWAY. "I don't think that's in steve's best interests."

(Fast shots of increasily strange behavior, mointoring, a whole phone full of pictures of steve, someone burying something, a woman screaming, a Steve-Doll, etc. Steve waking up in his bed at night.)

"What are you doing in my room?"

(no answer, long silence, the figure in the shadows steps into the light)

"You love me Steve. You just doesn't know it yet."

THE ROOMMATE

COMING SOON
posted by The Whelk at 3:46 PM on November 5 [10 favorites]

"Steve's Google History for last day or so: kings of leon tour dates heidi montag playboy mma tv schedule timberlake phi eagles depth chart"

Slutty Tina, sarcastic beard Shelly, overbearing Dad, a "swimfan" reference, Sweaty Rick, you know this Horror version of The Rules Of Attraction practically writes itself, don't you?
posted by The Whelk at 3:57 PM on November 5

Why are you posting here and not drawing a comic of this, The Whelk? WHY?
posted by Sidhedevil at 4:01 PM on November 5

It needs to be a teen slasher! With no budget and total unknowns! Such a wide variety of characters to kill off, so many ways to fuck around with Steve (there has to be a drugged bottle of JackD, there has to be. And Sweaty Rick and Shelly need to be the heroes.) It needs to be The Servant filtered through Scream.


Who wants to give me backing?
posted by The Whelk at 4:08 PM on November 5 [1 favorite]

Heard a joke today about YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook all combining - the new social network would be called . . .


YOU TWIT FACE!!

:-P
posted by garnetgirl at 4:22 PM on November 5

The Whelk: THE ROOMMATE

COMING SOON

Someone with a twitter account should tweet a link to this and include a hash tag (or however it works) to get this guy's attention. It would be awesome.
posted by Decimask at 4:58 PM on November 5

Done Decimaak.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:47 PM on November 5

The more I think about it the more Steve comes off as some kind of tragic figure in all this. Maybe what Greg Nog said is right, the level of remove is forcing me to consider Steve as a character, and it's waaaaaay sadder than the Roommate's "Ha ha what a dudebro" snarking*.

WARNING: this is not about Steve The Human I Don't Know At All. This is about Steve the character, as created by the Roommate (who, after all, chooses what to say and how to say it)


What's going on with Steve? He has to graduate late and he's been cagey about it. He's not doing well at school, he doesn't seem to have any plans aside from vague "make up ads" ideas, he's dependent on his father who belittles and patronizes him (mocking him about his sexual conquests and gut, "manly" things), a mother who treats him like a child, arggo friends who get drunk and beat people up, *days* spent in his room-alone-and someone writing down all the things he says.

Steve is, quite frankly, FUCKING TERRIFIED. He has almost no control over the big areas of his life and he's going to be expected to suddenly BE in control in a year. He has No. Idea. What. To. Do. His favorite pastimes are memory-whipers - whiskey, weed, games, videos of squirrels with yogurt cups on thier heads - anything to get away from the nagging, unspoken fear that his future is fucked before it starts. These things take away tomorrow, putting you in the Now. Steve wants bliss**, to be like an animal. Do dogs have a clear concept of Yesterday? maybe, but Tomorrow? Doubtful. He has no plan, and that's fucking terrifying, because life is fucking terrifying because sometimes not having a plan works and sometimes it fucks you up and sometimes you get hit by bus. His friend channels his dread and self-loathing into bar fights and paranoia, the manic to Steve's depressive cocoon. The closest he gets to expressing his anger and fear is beating up a chicken and blasting away hordes of Master Chief's minions.

And the really sad thing is that he seems so earnest and sweet at times. His Halloween ideas rock. He's a "jerk" to his girlfriends sometimes but doesn't seem malicious. He cleans up for someone with a "fancy sounding" name. His unsophistication is a shell and a survival tactic. He's unself-aware cause being more aware would be EVEN SCARIER. Think about how many times he's mentioned not leaving his room for a day? His social bonds don't seem very strong, no matter how much he parties.

And the funny thing is, that's how EVERYONE feels. We just don't talk about it. Cause that would be revealing, or weak, or weird. Better to be blasted on Jagerbombs then confront the swirling vortex of loathing and confusion we all stomp around in trying to find thing to make it worthwhile. Not to turn it into Punch-Drunk Love for the caphole set, but this Steve is kinda fascinating in a way I don't think the author intended.

And I hope he never, ever finds out. I don't think it would be taken the right way.


* it is a lot more understand now, the eariler tweets border on hostile, which makes me wonder what we're not hearing. Steve seems like a good guy, and I've had *much* worse roommates.

** - Actually what he wants is assurance and salvation. But salvation doesn't exist. You don't *get* to be able to say Happy Ever After. Doesn't work that way - bhudda on the road and all that. After this fight you face the next one and THAT'S OKAY so long as you remember that the dream of being beatiftic is a dream, a journey not a destination.
posted by The Whelk at 12:08 AM on November 6 [7 favorites]

Wow, insomnia makes me hella pretentious.
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 AM on November 6

Who wants to give me backing?
I'll buy you a coffee.

Wow, insomnia makes me hella pretentious.
But not if it's after five.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:35 AM on November 6

"Steve's Dad called to tell him that he can't use the emergency credit card to buy stuff from our Liquor Store or to buy Paintball supplies."


If Steve's Dad was somehow "Shitmydadsays" this would be a perfect loop of AWESOME.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:20 AM on November 6 [3 favorites]