Kreuzberg can suck it.

November 11, 2009 9:25 AM

Architect Jakob Tigges plans to erect a 1,000 meter tall artificial mountain in the middle of Berlin.

Romantic revanchism or urban penis enlargement?

Tiggens doesn't actually want to build it, he rather wants his idea to act as a placeholder in the minds of Berliners, to make sure that plans for new developments on the precious site of former Tempelhof Airport won't be made without active participation of the locals.
While Berliners already know their gentrification very well, fresh ideas for the redevelopment are still rare.

posted by quoquo (36 comments total)

Good luck with that.
posted by brain_drain at 9:31 AM on November 11

That would be. Well. Amazing. It'll never happen, but would be the coolest ever if it did.
posted by billysumday at 9:33 AM on November 11

Hasn't Berlin been through enough?
posted by chasing at 9:34 AM on November 11 [2 favorites]

You know another German who had a manifesto?
posted by Joe Beese at 9:36 AM on November 11

Er, yeah, this idea sounds right up there with that geostationary banana over Texas.
posted by crapmatic at 9:36 AM on November 11

They say the mountain holds many secrets, but the biggest is this: "I am a fake mountain."
posted by Mr Mister at 9:39 AM on November 11 [3 favorites]

Meh, its been done:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loos-en-Gohelle

(I know I know, those aren't 1000 meters, but there are two of them)
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 9:42 AM on November 11

Not only has it already been done, it's already been done in Berlin.
posted by pjern at 9:49 AM on November 11 [1 favorite]

What a great idea! It's a shame that so many cities these days can't be completely destroyed by avalanche.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:51 AM on November 11

It's been done before in Berlin!

(Okay, only eighty meters. But it's the highest hill in Berlin (suck on THAT, Kreuzberg) and it's totally freaking awesome.)
posted by besonders at 9:51 AM on November 11

People somehow miss that this is not a serious proposal, but an attempt to raise awareness.
posted by quoquo at 9:53 AM on November 11

What a wonderful idea.
posted by wcfields at 10:00 AM on November 11

Romantic revanchism or urban penis enlargement?

Do I have to choose?
posted by doobiedoo at 10:02 AM on November 11 [1 favorite]

I think "plans" is too strong a word.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:08 AM on November 11

BIG - Bjarke Ingels Group created the "Mountain Dwellings", a mountain of apartment units above a parking garage. On the side of the mountain are actual mountain images with perforations through the image for ventilation.

Images: 1, 2, 3, 4.

This is a great Ted Talks that Bjarke Ingels did, describing their design intents.
posted by cristinacristinacristina at 10:12 AM on November 11 [1 favorite]

For a moment, I thought that said he planned to eat the mountain, and I was like, ooh, what's it made of, chocolate?

The actual story, through no fault of it's own, failed to thrill me as a result.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:12 AM on November 11

I think "plans" is too strong a word.

Yeah, this is essentially "Hey guys, wouldn't it be crazy if..."
posted by odinsdream at 10:13 AM on November 11

Kinda seems more like a Worth1000 contest than anything else.
posted by echo target at 10:21 AM on November 11

Personally, I say they build it out of hollow fiberglass, and put nothing inside the massive, empty space. Then, they have black SUVs drive in and out, guarded by police with assault rifles. Keep that up for about a year, and put the best conspiracy blog freak-outs into a book. Sell the book, and then lease out the interior as office space or build a mall or whatever.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:24 AM on November 11

The designer's previous work.
posted by mccarty.tim at 10:24 AM on November 11 [2 favorites]

I plan to become ruler of the world.
posted by rikschell at 10:27 AM on November 11

Astro Zombie: "For a moment, I thought that said he planned to eat the mountain, and I was like, ooh, what's it made of, chocolate?"

I'm too fat for Germany.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:32 AM on November 11

Absolutely hilarious...
posted by cmarambulo at 10:43 AM on November 11

Kinda seems more like a Worth1000 contest than anything else.

Maybe, but with a much higher production value. And the low production value is the only thing wrong with Worth1000.
posted by krilli at 10:45 AM on November 11

It's been done in Stuttgart too. Only 120 feet added to an existing hill but still...

Monte Scherbelino (Mt. Shards) was raised on top of an existing hill using 53 million cubic feet of debris left after the WWII bombings of the city.

http://ww2panorama.org/panoramas/stuttgart
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:56 AM on November 11

(For those who don't know) Teufelsberg is built on the post WWII rubble of Berlin. I didn't know this until about the fifth time I was up there. It seriously colors the experience.

This, though is a sweet idea - Berlin is flat as flat can be, which is nice for bike riding, but a little dull otherwise. I think a ski resort in the middle of the city could only help.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:26 AM on November 11

meterfilter
posted by blue_beetle at 12:15 PM on November 11

This would be pretty straightforward, wouldn't it? A simple tap of the asthenosphere to bring a controlled amount of magma to the surface for a nice basalt skeleton, some millions of truck loads of soil, a few dozen centuries to get the weathering right...piece of cake. What could go wrong?
posted by maxwelton at 12:17 PM on November 11 [1 favorite]

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada has a "ski hill" that they built of garbage. It's like a pimple on the prairie.

I did succeed on concussing myself on its icy incline while sledding on its slope. I think I was using a flying saucer disc. Great times.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:20 PM on November 11

Mountain R by Jaques Jouet

From an Amazon review:
". . . Mountain R is a work of French literature revolving around an ill-proposed plan to build a 1,500 meter mountain as a monument. The make-work project is touted to reduce unemployment, attract tourists, and solve the garbage problem (as the mountain will be filled with trash). An all-too-real tale of governmental excess and vanity, narrated from three different perspectives, Mountain R is a tongue-in-cheek examination of man's foibles in his struggle to leave a lasting mark in the wake of his own mortality."
posted by jstef at 12:40 PM on November 11

If it is going to be a Big Rock Candy Mountain, then sure, I'm there.
posted by bearwife at 12:44 PM on November 11 [1 favorite]

Why build a mountain? Because it wasn't there.
posted by Spatch at 1:28 PM on November 11 [2 favorites]

(For those who don't know) Teufelsberg is built on the post WWII rubble of Berlin. I didn't know this until about the fifth time I was up there. It seriously colors the experience.


Yeah, I worked at Field Station Berlin for a couple of years- my shop was under the left ball next to the central shaft. Riding the trick buses up the Hill, you could see places where the rubble peeked out from the greenery here and there, some bricks here, a piece of an Ionic column there. Sobering, indeed.

The US, didn't pile it all up there, either: it was done by the women of Berlin with wheelbarrows. I've always admired the women there, who survived the bombing of the city by the USAF and the RAF, the shelling of the city by Marshall Zhukov, and the sack of the city by the Russian army at the end of World War Two.

Right after I moved to the city, I checked out The Last Battle by Cornelius Ryan from the library. It should be required reading for any serious student of modern Germany.

One of my German friends was an elderly woman who frequented my bridge club. I fell into conversation with her one evening, and mentioned some of the things I had read about the immediate postward period and the fall of the city. It turned out she had been a little girl at the time,and she told me of some of the privations she had gone through. The thing that stunned me, however, was her matter-of-fact statement about how her "sister was lucky. She was only raped twice." It took me a long time to get over the shock of hearing that statement.
posted by pjern at 7:53 PM on November 11 [3 favorites]

quoquo: People somehow miss that this is not a serious proposal, but an attempt to raise awareness.

Oh, but wouldn't it be the awesomest thing ever if they actually built it.
posted by Kattullus at 9:08 PM on November 11

Huh, that...makes sense. I was in Berlin a couple of weeks ago and saw posters about visiting a big fucking mountain, and in my jet-lagged condition just looked around and thought, shouldn't I be able to see that from here? and then I thought I didn't even think there were mountains in this part of Germany and then I said fuck it, you have to push a button to make the subway door open and there is nowhere to buy soap, nothing makes sense here and stumbled on.
posted by little e at 8:49 AM on November 12 [3 favorites]

Kattullus: because.
posted by quoquo at 10:17 AM on November 12