Your tattoo! ... wow. Just... wow.
November 14, 2009 1:54 PM Subscribe
As tattoos are a matter of aesthetic preference and personal meaning, I'm usually suspicious of these sort of collections. Also, I've known a number of people that get tattoos that have meaning for them but that are also funny to them, and ugly on purpose.
These are not the ugliest out there, in my opinion. I also really like the chicken bagpiper, but I couldn't tell you why.
posted by neewom at 2:00 PM on November 14, 2009
These are not the ugliest out there, in my opinion. I also really like the chicken bagpiper, but I couldn't tell you why.
posted by neewom at 2:00 PM on November 14, 2009
My favorites were the Robocop-on-unicorn, the Frasier, and the keyboard cat.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:03 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:03 PM on November 14, 2009
I was going to say "Where's the ugly? They're all awesome!".
And then I saw this.
posted by mazola at 2:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
And then I saw this.
posted by mazola at 2:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
When I worked retail we had a customer come through who showed us the "low hanging cock" tattoo he had just gotten. These were getting to be pretty popular around town. This guy didn't want the low hanging cock on the calf like every other dude in town, so he got it on the back of his shoulder. He was pretty excited about it.
Customer: Check it out! I got a low hanging cock!
Us: Oh. Yeah. I see you have a tattoo of a rooster being lynched. Why isn't it on your calf?
Customer: Man, I didn't want to be all conformist. I wanted something different!
Us: I see. Well, your shoulder isn't exactly low is it? You don't really have a low hanging cock now. In fact, it seems your cock is hung rather high.
Customer: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER EVERYONE SAYS THAT GIMME MY CHANGE FUCK YOU GOD DAMN FUCK.
[scene]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:23 PM on November 14, 2009 [15 favorites]
Customer: Check it out! I got a low hanging cock!
Us: Oh. Yeah. I see you have a tattoo of a rooster being lynched. Why isn't it on your calf?
Customer: Man, I didn't want to be all conformist. I wanted something different!
Us: I see. Well, your shoulder isn't exactly low is it? You don't really have a low hanging cock now. In fact, it seems your cock is hung rather high.
Customer: FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER EVERYONE SAYS THAT GIMME MY CHANGE FUCK YOU GOD DAMN FUCK.
[scene]
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:23 PM on November 14, 2009 [15 favorites]
I'm actually sort of in love with the cock & bagpipes tattoo, and I rarely like someone else's work. Seems odd to me that it's even on that list. On preview, I'm not alone.
posted by heyho at 2:28 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by heyho at 2:28 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Awful Tattoos is another bad-tattoo blog I enjoy, among other reasons because the author has posted pictures of her own (not-awful) tattoos.
posted by box at 2:36 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 2:36 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Getting a tattoo strikes me as about one of the dumber things i can think of, next to getting those big floppy Goofy ears.
Sure, I've seen a few tattoos out there that were actually well-planned and executed, but only a few. They're outnumbered twenty to one by tattoos that are just awful.
Because they're permanent, people are liable to get defensive about tattoos whether they regret theirs or not. Is the theoretical awesomeness of a tattoo going to outweigh the fact that you will never, ever be able to really get rid of it?
I've seen way too many smart young people in identity crises mark the hell out of their bodies in rather dumb ways. It's a fucking shame.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:42 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
Sure, I've seen a few tattoos out there that were actually well-planned and executed, but only a few. They're outnumbered twenty to one by tattoos that are just awful.
Because they're permanent, people are liable to get defensive about tattoos whether they regret theirs or not. Is the theoretical awesomeness of a tattoo going to outweigh the fact that you will never, ever be able to really get rid of it?
I've seen way too many smart young people in identity crises mark the hell out of their bodies in rather dumb ways. It's a fucking shame.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:42 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
box: "Awful Tattoos is another bad-tattoo blog I enjoy, among other reasons because the author has posted pictures of her own (not-awful) tattoos."
From what I saw, that blog was great, it made me briefly consider the idea of getting an ironic "photobucket - bandwidth exceeded - upgrade to pro today" tattoo.
posted by idiopath at 2:45 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
From what I saw, that blog was great, it made me briefly consider the idea of getting an ironic "photobucket - bandwidth exceeded - upgrade to pro today" tattoo.
posted by idiopath at 2:45 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
I agree that some of those seem like talented, skilful work. But I wish more tattoos were designed to enhance the body they're applied to, instead of just using it as the medium for a stupid joke or slogan.
posted by Phanx at 2:46 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Phanx at 2:46 PM on November 14, 2009
<big pointless rant>... It's a fucking shame.
I'm not sure why some people who aren't into tattoos are so emphatically not into tattoos, but, hey, whatever makes you happy.
Here's the fucking shame that I picked up last week, on my calf. It's a proteomics nerd tattoo. Have fun telling me how I've somehow ruined my life with it!
posted by gurple at 2:46 PM on November 14, 2009 [10 favorites]
I'm not sure why some people who aren't into tattoos are so emphatically not into tattoos, but, hey, whatever makes you happy.
Here's the fucking shame that I picked up last week, on my calf. It's a proteomics nerd tattoo. Have fun telling me how I've somehow ruined my life with it!
posted by gurple at 2:46 PM on November 14, 2009 [10 favorites]
I think some of my tattoos should be on this blog. I'm going to to make it happen. If you see a tattoo of a shark and a plane with a banner that says "IMSOTMFSOTMP"*' you'll know it's me.
*I'm motherfucking sick of this motherfucking shark on this motherfucking plane
posted by josher71 at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2009
*I'm motherfucking sick of this motherfucking shark on this motherfucking plane
posted by josher71 at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2009
Tattoo threads always go so well here.
posted by fixedgear at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by fixedgear at 2:49 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
It seems that for many people the recklessness and inevitable regret that accompany the tattoo is the real message of the tattoo. It is basically a big "why so serious?" nihilistic statement.
"Yeah, I put something ugly, stupid, and soon to be dated on my body. I knew I would regret it before I even did it. It's better to regret something I have done than something I haven't done, and what's the point of any of this shit anyway?"
This line of reasoning tempts me to get a stupid tattoo actually.
posted by idiopath at 2:54 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
"Yeah, I put something ugly, stupid, and soon to be dated on my body. I knew I would regret it before I even did it. It's better to regret something I have done than something I haven't done, and what's the point of any of this shit anyway?"
This line of reasoning tempts me to get a stupid tattoo actually.
posted by idiopath at 2:54 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
I wish more tattoos MetaFilter comments were designed to enhance the body post they're applied to, instead of just using it as the medium for a stupid joke or slogan.
posted by mazola at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2009 [8 favorites]
posted by mazola at 3:00 PM on November 14, 2009 [8 favorites]
There are so many things wrong* with this one that... oh, my. (Love the caption, actually!)
*Not the least of which is the sore on the guy's lower lip. *shudder*
posted by heyho at 3:06 PM on November 14, 2009
*Not the least of which is the sore on the guy's lower lip. *shudder*
posted by heyho at 3:06 PM on November 14, 2009
This one of multiple facial tattoos got me curious enough to find another photo of him. He's "Property of [the Oakland] Raiders". Of course, searching for facial tattoos only reminded me of this guy, who I think we've discussed before.
posted by Houstonian at 3:18 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Houstonian at 3:18 PM on November 14, 2009
He got it on the back of his shoulder
...cause he can throw it o'er his shoulder like a Continental soldier.
posted by drlith at 3:21 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
...cause he can throw it o'er his shoulder like a Continental soldier.
posted by drlith at 3:21 PM on November 14, 2009 [5 favorites]
my word, some of these are breathtaking.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Do NOT go another minute without viewing 10 Audacious Amputee Tattoos.
posted by bonobothegreat at 3:25 PM on November 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 3:25 PM on November 14, 2009 [6 favorites]
The bagpiping chicken with the dungarees and the blank banner may be one of the most affecting works of visual art made in the last 20 years.
I'm only sort of kidding when I say that.
Am-a-a-zi-ing grace, bock BOCK bock-bock. . .
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:30 PM on November 14, 2009
I'm only sort of kidding when I say that.
Am-a-a-zi-ing grace, bock BOCK bock-bock. . .
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 3:30 PM on November 14, 2009
It's a fucking shame.
It's also a fucking shame that people can't live their lives the way they see fit without getting ridicule from others.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:32 PM on November 14, 2009
It's also a fucking shame that people can't live their lives the way they see fit without getting ridicule from others.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:32 PM on November 14, 2009
To each their own, just as with black velvet paintings, which are the aesthetic equivalent.
posted by HTuttle at 3:40 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by HTuttle at 3:40 PM on November 14, 2009
As usual the people being ridiculed on the blog win because they (we) have hideously awesome tats and the author just has grad school debt and a domineering roommate who shares his taste in crocs. Just like LATFH and those various craigslist-mocking blogs, this site should have been named durridontgetit.tumblr.com
Afaik there is no such thing as a bad tattoo.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:48 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Afaik there is no such thing as a bad tattoo.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:48 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
I find the terrible portrait tattoos the worst because I feel so bad for the person getting it. It takes all the fun out of mocking bad tattoos.
posted by geek anachronism at 3:52 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by geek anachronism at 3:52 PM on November 14, 2009
I think I'm in love with this one. This is exactly the kind of tattoo that makes me want to know more about the person who has it.
posted by Salieri at 3:59 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Salieri at 3:59 PM on November 14, 2009
I think I'm in love with this one.
That map tattoo is both great and awful. The map itself could be a great tattoo, but then the heavy lettering above and below is just awful.
posted by Forktine at 4:10 PM on November 14, 2009
That map tattoo is both great and awful. The map itself could be a great tattoo, but then the heavy lettering above and below is just awful.
posted by Forktine at 4:10 PM on November 14, 2009
It's also a fucking shame that people can't live their lives the way they see fit without getting ridicule from others.
I'm pretty sure nobody would ever ridicule this guy. Not to his face, anyway.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:11 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty sure nobody would ever ridicule this guy. Not to his face, anyway.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:11 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Burhanistan I'm pretty sure that's a Charles Burns.
Or that guys deceased daughter was half Kobold. Either way it rules.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:12 PM on November 14, 2009
Or that guys deceased daughter was half Kobold. Either way it rules.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:12 PM on November 14, 2009
How come we never hear from the people with the tattoos themselves? What's it like to have xombie Michael Jackson on your body? and what was your goal when you asked for it? I suppose having a bad tattoo is a bit like being a member of the SS - you're condemned more than you're understood.
posted by Sova at 4:17 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Sova at 4:17 PM on November 14, 2009
Agreeing that the cock piper tattoo is made of pure awesome.
posted by gnutron at 4:20 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by gnutron at 4:20 PM on November 14, 2009
Greg Nog, you were a host at the Olive Garden, right?
posted by not_on_display at 4:25 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 4:25 PM on November 14, 2009
And... I think a lot of these are just "off" in a variety of ways, and who knows why people get tattoos... yes, they're a very personal type of thing... but the Bagpipin' Rooster and the Pez Jesus are truly great. But I just liked the site so much I wanted to share. Ridicule or defend, these are all amazing to contemplate.
posted by not_on_display at 4:28 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 4:28 PM on November 14, 2009
My friend has the best tattoo ever. He's super pale but with almost no freckles or blemishes. On his back shoulder blade is an elaborate system of baroque swirls and curlicues....in white ink. You don't notice them unless you're looking closely, and then they look of beautiful scars or something.
It helps that he's like 6'3 and looks like his father was a rodeo and his momma was Queen Of the Forrest Elves.
posted by The Whelk at 4:32 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
It helps that he's like 6'3 and looks like his father was a rodeo and his momma was Queen Of the Forrest Elves.
posted by The Whelk at 4:32 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
This one seemed pretty funny and made me think the person who has it had a good attitude. But too many of the rest were causing despair and I had to quit looking.
posted by dilettante at 4:42 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by dilettante at 4:42 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
These are great, thanks! I love the reckless who-gives-a-fuckness of this stuff. I mean, it's a crazy ol world, so why not slap an Indianapolis colt saying "throw it in her butt" on your chest?
posted by bepe at 4:48 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by bepe at 4:48 PM on November 14, 2009
i wish i knew the story behind 90% of these. (the other 10% either have no story, like this, or the story is too scary, like this.)
posted by msconduct at 4:50 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by msconduct at 4:50 PM on November 14, 2009
The worst tattoos are the best tattoos. A Soho gallery should mount a display featuring these people as outsider art. Then patrons of the arts could rent them out for weekends and drag them along with them to astonish their peers at parties in The Hamptoms.
posted by Huplescat at 5:26 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Huplescat at 5:26 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
I like the idea of this if done correctly. Great for people who jot notes on themselves.
And I just plain like the idea of this, no qualifier needed.
posted by mazola at 5:41 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
And I just plain like the idea of this, no qualifier needed.
posted by mazola at 5:41 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's a proteomics nerd tattoo. Have fun telling me how I've somehow ruined my life with it!
You're never going to be able to wear shorts while visiting a friend in the ICU because it looks like an infected cat scratch. I hope that you can live with yourself now.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:23 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
You're never going to be able to wear shorts while visiting a friend in the ICU because it looks like an infected cat scratch. I hope that you can live with yourself now.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:23 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
Tattoo threads always go so well here.
To quote the lady who gave me my first (mediocre) tattoo:
What's the difference between people who have tattoos and people who don't? Tattooed people don't care whether you have tattoos or not.
posted by box at 7:09 PM on November 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
To quote the lady who gave me my first (mediocre) tattoo:
What's the difference between people who have tattoos and people who don't? Tattooed people don't care whether you have tattoos or not.
posted by box at 7:09 PM on November 14, 2009 [4 favorites]
Normally I'm pretty libertarian, but I think a tattoo should require a license with a ten day waiting period. And maybe a background check.
posted by digsrus at 7:34 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by digsrus at 7:34 PM on November 14, 2009
Afaik there is no such thing as a bad tattoo.
Horribly misspelled tattoos are bad tattoos. Especially when the thing being misspelled is a simple name like "David" or "Bryan" ("Davd" and "Byarn" respectively, two I've seen IRL).
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:37 PM on November 14, 2009
Horribly misspelled tattoos are bad tattoos. Especially when the thing being misspelled is a simple name like "David" or "Bryan" ("Davd" and "Byarn" respectively, two I've seen IRL).
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:37 PM on November 14, 2009
I knew someone who got an engraved set of silver as a wedding gift, but his wife's name was engraved as "Besty".
posted by idiopath at 7:50 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 7:50 PM on November 14, 2009 [2 favorites]
dilettante: "This one seemed pretty funny and made me think the person who has it had a good attitude. But too many of the rest were causing despair and I had to quit looking."
Yeah, I liked that one a lot too.
I've seen my fair share of ink over the years. I even have tats, although mine are in places that can't be seen except by a select audience, and I'm not generally phased even by bad ink...but...
I cannot, for the life of me, wrap my head around tats like the girl who had "My name is X" tattooed twice on her back, so that it could be read from either the top or the bottom; presumably so that the person she was servicing would know her name, or the girl who had in gorgeous calligraphy tattooed "cum slutt" (her spelling, not mine) as her "tramp stamp".
Perhaps it sounds condescending, which isn't what I'm trying to express; but I feel bad *for* them. I feel bad that their reality is such that they would mark themselves thusly...as objects to be used, as commodities, disposable receptacles of a man's spent pleasure. It's heartbreaking that our culture devalues women to the point that they devalue themselves. Or maybe I'm just over thinking it. I dunno.
That said, I love naked tattoo grandpa (NSFW). (Also Barcelona...but everyone loves Barcelona, no?) And Zombie Boy...wow. It's extreme, but it's not bad ink by any stretch of the imagination.
posted by dejah420 at 10:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [7 favorites]
Yeah, I liked that one a lot too.
I've seen my fair share of ink over the years. I even have tats, although mine are in places that can't be seen except by a select audience, and I'm not generally phased even by bad ink...but...
I cannot, for the life of me, wrap my head around tats like the girl who had "My name is X" tattooed twice on her back, so that it could be read from either the top or the bottom; presumably so that the person she was servicing would know her name, or the girl who had in gorgeous calligraphy tattooed "cum slutt" (her spelling, not mine) as her "tramp stamp".
Perhaps it sounds condescending, which isn't what I'm trying to express; but I feel bad *for* them. I feel bad that their reality is such that they would mark themselves thusly...as objects to be used, as commodities, disposable receptacles of a man's spent pleasure. It's heartbreaking that our culture devalues women to the point that they devalue themselves. Or maybe I'm just over thinking it. I dunno.
That said, I love naked tattoo grandpa (NSFW). (Also Barcelona...but everyone loves Barcelona, no?) And Zombie Boy...wow. It's extreme, but it's not bad ink by any stretch of the imagination.
posted by dejah420 at 10:22 PM on November 14, 2009 [7 favorites]
Don't forget Kimberly Vlaminck who got 56 stars tattooed on her face and initially claimed that she only wanted 3 but had fallen asleep in the chair, then later admitted that she just really hadn't thought things through.
posted by Rhomboid at 11:53 PM on November 14, 2009
posted by Rhomboid at 11:53 PM on November 14, 2009
Whoa. Naked tattooed grandpa in Barcelona is one bold fellow.
posted by lilywing13 at 12:46 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by lilywing13 at 12:46 AM on November 15, 2009
Thanks, now I have the Chicken Boo theme song stuck in my head.
posted by IndigoRain at 4:38 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by IndigoRain at 4:38 AM on November 15, 2009
Can we at least agree that getting a tattooed portrait of your kids is a bad idea?
posted by spoobnooble at 5:42 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by spoobnooble at 5:42 AM on November 15, 2009
Wow, tattooed grandpa is, uh, quite an eyeful. I loved the reaction shots of people seeing him.
posted by Forktine at 6:13 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by Forktine at 6:13 AM on November 15, 2009
Derail, but is it really OK to walk around with your schlong hanging out in Spain? They don't have a prohibition against public nudity? That's called indecent exposure in the USA, is there no equivalent in Europe?
posted by fixedgear at 7:15 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by fixedgear at 7:15 AM on November 15, 2009
Here's David Cross reviewing some possibly questionable tattoos and then displaying his own, which are some of my favorites ever.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 7:36 AM on November 15, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 7:36 AM on November 15, 2009 [2 favorites]
Derail, but is it really OK to walk around with your schlong hanging out in Spain? They don't have a prohibition against public nudity? That's called indecent exposure in the USA, is there no equivalent in Europe?
Nah, I've been to Barcelona, and they expect you to do this.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 8:15 AM on November 15, 2009
Nah, I've been to Barcelona, and they expect you to do this.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 8:15 AM on November 15, 2009
These are great, thanks! I love the reckless who-gives-a-fuckness of this stuff. I mean, it's a crazy ol world, so why not slap an Indianapolis colt saying "throw it in her butt" on your chest?
Unitas was a Baltimore Colt, thankyewverymuch.
Oh, and what's the difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos?
People with tattoos don't care whether you have a tattoo or not.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:19 AM on November 15, 2009
Unitas was a Baltimore Colt, thankyewverymuch.
Oh, and what's the difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos?
People with tattoos don't care whether you have a tattoo or not.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:19 AM on November 15, 2009
O HAI I DON'T READ THE THREAD BEFORE COMMENTING. Sorry, box.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:21 AM on November 15, 2009
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:21 AM on November 15, 2009
Derail, but is it really OK to walk around with your schlong hanging out in Spain? They don't have a prohibition against public nudity? That's called indecent exposure in the USA, is there no equivalent in Europe?
The U.S. have the right to free speech; Europe has the right to free schlong.
But god forbid your skirt isn't long enough.
posted by ersatz at 9:32 AM on November 15, 2009
The U.S. have the right to free speech; Europe has the right to free schlong.
But god forbid your skirt isn't long enough.
posted by ersatz at 9:32 AM on November 15, 2009
Tattoos are like marriage. Better to take the leap, if you're going to, in that stage of your life when it's a big deal. Otherwise it's just ink and rings and cohabitation.
And I can see I'm not alone in thinking that bagpiping cock is pure awesome.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:52 PM on November 15, 2009
And I can see I'm not alone in thinking that bagpiping cock is pure awesome.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 12:52 PM on November 15, 2009
Afaik there is no such thing as a bad tattoo.
Horribly misspelled tattoos are bad tattoos.
CHI TONW
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 2:09 PM on November 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
Horribly misspelled tattoos are bad tattoos.
CHI TONW
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 2:09 PM on November 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
Why?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:38 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 3:38 PM on November 15, 2009
Can anyone translate the Spanish in this video? It's the naked tattooed man in Barcelona, and I believe he's explaining himself. Is he a nudist/naturalist? Are the tattoos (and Prince Albert) a statement of some sort? Is he protesting something? I'm more curious than I should be....
posted by Houstonian at 3:58 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by Houstonian at 3:58 PM on November 15, 2009
No tattoo discussion is complete without Mr. CooL ICE
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:52 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:52 PM on November 15, 2009
Ok, if you like ugly naked old guys with boners near you or your loved ones, then enjoy.
I just find it curious that you draw the line at a boner, especially based on that description.
Ugly old naked guys -- sure, no prob.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:02 PM on November 15, 2009
I just find it curious that you draw the line at a boner, especially based on that description.
Ugly old naked guys -- sure, no prob.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:02 PM on November 15, 2009
Naked is just the state of being without clothes. Naked with a boner is--certainly at this gentleman's age--naked with intent.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:10 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:10 PM on November 15, 2009
naked with intent
If ever I do a stage show about strange body hangups, I will title it this. Thanks for the laugh.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:17 PM on November 15, 2009
If ever I do a stage show about strange body hangups, I will title it this. Thanks for the laugh.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:17 PM on November 15, 2009
No, the outliers would be those comfortable with grown men walking around naked, period, remember? I'd be rather weirded out by it. It's the additional rule that made it interesting.
Would you feel the same way about a topless beach and erect nipples?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:21 PM on November 15, 2009
Would you feel the same way about a topless beach and erect nipples?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:21 PM on November 15, 2009
Sorry, that may not have been very clear.
I'm in the - I think - vast majority of people who would be uncomfortable with old men walking around stark naked regardless. You, on the other hand, are apparently part of some demographic splinter which would be perfectly ok with the nudity so long as no boners were in evidence, which I think is hilariously arbitrary. Maybe just funny to me.
Alas, this is why I do not do stage shows.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:35 PM on November 15, 2009
I'm in the - I think - vast majority of people who would be uncomfortable with old men walking around stark naked regardless. You, on the other hand, are apparently part of some demographic splinter which would be perfectly ok with the nudity so long as no boners were in evidence, which I think is hilariously arbitrary. Maybe just funny to me.
Alas, this is why I do not do stage shows.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:35 PM on November 15, 2009
Would you feel the same way about a topless beach and erect nipples?
No, as those may just be a physiological reaction to a breeze. Erections--at least past the age of 20 or so, and past first thing in the morning--are pretty much always signifiers of sexual arousal, and don't happen by accident.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:53 PM on November 15, 2009
No, as those may just be a physiological reaction to a breeze. Erections--at least past the age of 20 or so, and past first thing in the morning--are pretty much always signifiers of sexual arousal, and don't happen by accident.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:53 PM on November 15, 2009
Greg Nog: "That cock piper tattoo is fucking AWESOME."
Yeah, I meant to ask this earlier...is there some sort of symbolism or double entendre that I'm missing with that? I'm sure I'll feel foolish once it's explained, but could someone take the time to elucidate?
posted by dejah420 at 10:15 PM on November 15, 2009
Yeah, I meant to ask this earlier...is there some sort of symbolism or double entendre that I'm missing with that? I'm sure I'll feel foolish once it's explained, but could someone take the time to elucidate?
posted by dejah420 at 10:15 PM on November 15, 2009
There is a traditional bagpipe tune called "Cock o' the North."
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 11:16 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 11:16 PM on November 15, 2009
Nudism is fine in its proper setting, which is places it makes sense to be nude (swimming and sunbathing and generally being outdoors in nature enjoying being all nekkid in the fresh air).
In the middle of Barcelona, it's creepy as fuck.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:56 PM on November 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
In the middle of Barcelona, it's creepy as fuck.
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:56 PM on November 15, 2009 [1 favorite]
Can anyone translate the Spanish in this video?
Good lord that audio is terrible, and the guy doing the "interview" keeps talking over him. Also, I'm sure there are colloquialisms that would make my [unintelligible] bits clear if I knew them. Ugh. Here's a stab at it anyway. First my general impression: the cameraman and his friends are waaaay hung up on the guy's dick. Discussion of his piercing seems to be the general thrust of the conversation, as it were.
Tattooed Grandpa: ...others who already know me. The guy from the plaza, ...
Off Camera [interrupting, pointing camera at TG's crotch]: Yeah, can I [unintelligible, sounds like "pelota" (ball)]?
TG: Huh?
OC [pointing camera at TG's crotch again]: Can I see it?
TG: You can [unintelligible, sounds like "pelota" again] and they'll take your picture and that's that.
OC: And what do you think of a good [unintelligible/"pelota"]
TG: Well, what I think is...
OC: Natural, natural
TG: ... personal, no? You [unintelligible] dressed. You all are dressed. It's because you're dressed. Pull one sleeve this way, the other sleeve that way, and now your mother says [crosstalk]. You're dressed.
OC: Of course.
TG: In Africa clothing [unintelligible] doesn't exist.
OC: A question: you [unintelligible] dick [unintelligible] of a horse.
TG: Look, some put it here [touches ear], others here [touches nose], others here [touches lip]. [crosstalk] in their youth who get one in...
OC: Doesn't it hurt?
TG: ...their ear. [turning to face camera] No. Maybe for twenty-something days I'd hurt myself when I went to pee until the scar formed, but now that it's healed I don't even notice I have it.
The rest is mostly unintelligible to me except for a few words.
posted by tarheelcoxn at 12:19 AM on November 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Good lord that audio is terrible, and the guy doing the "interview" keeps talking over him. Also, I'm sure there are colloquialisms that would make my [unintelligible] bits clear if I knew them. Ugh. Here's a stab at it anyway. First my general impression: the cameraman and his friends are waaaay hung up on the guy's dick. Discussion of his piercing seems to be the general thrust of the conversation, as it were.
Tattooed Grandpa: ...others who already know me. The guy from the plaza, ...
Off Camera [interrupting, pointing camera at TG's crotch]: Yeah, can I [unintelligible, sounds like "pelota" (ball)]?
TG: Huh?
OC [pointing camera at TG's crotch again]: Can I see it?
TG: You can [unintelligible, sounds like "pelota" again] and they'll take your picture and that's that.
OC: And what do you think of a good [unintelligible/"pelota"]
TG: Well, what I think is...
OC: Natural, natural
TG: ... personal, no? You [unintelligible] dressed. You all are dressed. It's because you're dressed. Pull one sleeve this way, the other sleeve that way, and now your mother says [crosstalk]. You're dressed.
OC: Of course.
TG: In Africa clothing [unintelligible] doesn't exist.
OC: A question: you [unintelligible] dick [unintelligible] of a horse.
TG: Look, some put it here [touches ear], others here [touches nose], others here [touches lip]. [crosstalk] in their youth who get one in...
OC: Doesn't it hurt?
TG: ...their ear. [turning to face camera] No. Maybe for twenty-something days I'd hurt myself when I went to pee until the scar formed, but now that it's healed I don't even notice I have it.
The rest is mostly unintelligible to me except for a few words.
posted by tarheelcoxn at 12:19 AM on November 16, 2009 [1 favorite]
Huh. Count me as another vote for "naked tattooed grandpa is awesome, naked tattooed grandpa with a boner is a little creepy". I'm not sure it's any more creepy than "young, fully clothed, inkless guy pitching a tent" would be, though. And yeah, I acknowledge this is a somewhat arbitrary attitude, especially considering the many years of involuntary erections most guys live through, but it is my immediate reaction.
Sidhedevil: I'd assume that the Barcelona guy is "generally being outdoors in nature enjoying being all nekkid in the fresh air". Just, y'know, in Barcelona. With somebody following him around taking pictures and posting them to the Internet, which is more creepy than his semi-boner if you ask me.
posted by hattifattener at 12:25 AM on November 16, 2009
Sidhedevil: I'd assume that the Barcelona guy is "generally being outdoors in nature enjoying being all nekkid in the fresh air". Just, y'know, in Barcelona. With somebody following him around taking pictures and posting them to the Internet, which is more creepy than his semi-boner if you ask me.
posted by hattifattener at 12:25 AM on November 16, 2009
Metafilter: you [unintelligible] dick [unintelligible] of a horse.
posted by Rumple at 12:49 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by Rumple at 12:49 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]
Thanks, tarheelcoxn. I got, "... conoce... plaza... en Africa... sin dinero... la pregunta... pollo... caballo... Esteban... este hombre..." Which, of course, means I got none of it.
posted by Houstonian at 3:29 AM on November 16, 2009
posted by Houstonian at 3:29 AM on November 16, 2009
Nudism is fine in its proper setting, which is places it makes sense to be nude (swimming and sunbathing and generally being outdoors in nature enjoying being all nekkid in the fresh air).
In the middle of Barcelona, it's creepy as fuck.
This.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:51 AM on November 16, 2009
In the middle of Barcelona, it's creepy as fuck.
This.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 4:51 AM on November 16, 2009
...21 bun salute?
posted by not_on_display at 9:48 AM on November 16, 2009
posted by not_on_display at 9:48 AM on November 16, 2009
My favorite one, by far is the owl with boobs (I'd link to it, but I'm at work and can't go to that site). It wasn't just an owl with boobs, it was a scary owl with red-speckled boobs. I really would love to meet the person who has it.
posted by Kimberly at 11:04 AM on November 16, 2009
posted by Kimberly at 11:04 AM on November 16, 2009
It's better to regret something I have done than something I haven't done.
I can think of plenty of counterexamples. Tattoos, for instance.
posted by DU at 5:52 PM on November 16, 2009
I can think of plenty of counterexamples. Tattoos, for instance.
posted by DU at 5:52 PM on November 16, 2009
« Older Krautrock - The Rebirth of Germany | The shape of jazz gone by Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
Tattoo SWAT 2009
2005
posted by The Whelk at 1:59 PM on November 14, 2009 [1 favorite]