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Zerubbabel was a bugbear
November 16, 2009 7:02 AM   Subscribe

Hear the Bible come alive in Dramatic Audio Theater! Jim Caviezel as Jesus (again). Lou Diamond Phillips as Mark. Malcolm McDowell as Solomon. Luke Perry as Judas. Max von Sydow as Noah. (warning: auto-playing video) The Word of Promise Audio Bible features over 1000 voice actors, a 150-piece orchestra, an iPhone app, 98 hours of recorded audio, and more. Meet the cast. Hear samples.
posted by shakespeherian (26 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Nooooo! Dammit! Michael York always ruins my favorite audio books. His sneering, weird falsetto absolutely destroyed Brave New World and turned it into a cringe-marathon. I wish I could somehow globally find-replace every instance of Michael York with Jeremy Irons.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:21 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Jason Alexander as Joseph...

I guess he's known for playing characters with relationship problems.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:22 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Odd that they felt the need to sex it up with dramatic music.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:24 AM on November 16, 2009


Also I can't figure out which translation they used.
also this post kind of looks like an advertisement for the Word of Promise Audio Bible.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:25 AM on November 16, 2009


Baby_Balrog: Also I can't figure out which translation they used.

According to Amazon reviews it looks like they used the NKJV.

also this post kind of looks like an advertisement for the Word of Promise Audio Bible.

I am offering a cash prize to the best Pepsi Blue/Bible pun.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:30 AM on November 16, 2009


Based on my own imaginative understanding of the characters, I think most of the voice casting seems remarkably well-done.
posted by jefficator at 7:30 AM on November 16, 2009


I am offering a cash prize to the best Pepsi Blue/Bible pun.

How about conclusive evidence linking Pepsi Blue to the birth of Christ?
posted by brain_drain at 7:39 AM on November 16, 2009


Jason Alexander as Joseph...

"I can't believe it, Jerry - Cuckolded by God! What are the chances of that?"
posted by Grangousier at 7:47 AM on November 16, 2009 [10 favorites]


Somebody should tell Jim Caviezel that he's in danger of being typecast. He needs to tack hard to the left. Let him play a stripper or a hooker with a heart of gold.

Also, and perfectly seriously, this LordoftheRingsification of the Bible has got to be one of the most morally corrosive things imaginable. Turning scripture into spectacle radically redefines its genre. Moral instruction and ethical challenge become window dressing for ass-kickery, rather than the reverse. A little less Roland Emmerich and a little more Deuteronomy 6, if you know what I mean.
posted by felix betachat at 8:41 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Dick Cheney as Satan!
posted by contessa at 8:46 AM on November 16, 2009


Also, and perfectly seriously, this LordoftheRingsification of the Bible has got to be one of the most morally corrosive things imaginable. Turning scripture into spectacle radically redefines its genre. Moral instruction and ethical challenge become window dressing for ass-kickery, rather than the reverse. A little less Roland Emmerich and a little more Deuteronomy 6, if you know what I mean.

Moses has words. Pharaoh has spears!
posted by Iridic at 8:56 AM on November 16, 2009


Whoa. Good bible.
posted by Tesseractive at 9:03 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Jason Alexander as Joseph...

I guess he's known for playing characters with relationship problems.


Wrong Joseph--Alexander's playing the Joseph from the book of Genesis who gets sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. I'm now picturing Potiphar's wife trying to seduce George Costanza, which makes the story approximately 1000% more awesome.
posted by EarBucket at 9:15 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]




Also, and perfectly seriously, this LordoftheRingsification of the Bible has got to be one of the most morally corrosive things imaginable.


As history demonstrates. See the Middle Ages
posted by thivaia at 9:18 AM on November 16, 2009


George/Jason still doesn't get a scene with Marisa Tomei.
posted by rainbaby at 9:25 AM on November 16, 2009


Does this mean that George steals Kramer's Technicolor Dreamcoat?
Pimp hat optional.
posted by willmize at 9:43 AM on November 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Let him play a stripper or a hooker with a heart of gold.

Mary Magdalene?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:16 AM on November 16, 2009


This could be a great performance taken as a whole, but this project is a strange fate for a "book" that -- a least as to the Old Testament -- seems to be a series of pieced together texts from very different periods in history.
posted by bearwife at 10:50 AM on November 16, 2009


Pepsi Blue represents baptism.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:19 AM on November 16, 2009


Serenity now.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:47 AM on November 16, 2009


Words of Christ in Pepsi Blue.
posted by straight at 1:27 PM on November 16, 2009


>

No, he already has a perfectly good Gore-Tex coat.
posted by mccarty.tim at 4:47 PM on November 16, 2009


Also, and perfectly seriously, this LordoftheRingsification of the Bible has got to be one of the most morally corrosive things imaginable.

I don't see how it can be any worse than the Bible as it was originally written.

I'm looking forward to this dramatic reading:

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21
posted by empath at 5:10 PM on November 16, 2009


Having read Sean Astin's astoundingly whiny memoir There And Back Again, I can't tell you how hilarious it is that he plays one of Job's bitchy "friends" who shows up to tell the poor guy that all the bad stuff that's happening to him is his own fault. They really couldn't have cast that part any better.
posted by EarBucket at 7:34 PM on November 16, 2009


Just wait till their versions of the Koran and the Book of Mormon! We'll never wake up!
posted by ronin21 at 12:17 AM on November 17, 2009


Having read Sean Astin's astoundingly whiny memoir There And Back Again

Whoa! Sean Astin is the son of Gomez Addams?!

My mi >BOOM!< nd!
posted by straight at 11:00 PM on November 19, 2009


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